Spawn of Adam
by kira862
Summary: Shinji used to think of himself as a throwaway human. However when he met a certain red headed German who had a personality that could curdle milk he started to discover what purpose he had for living on this planet. Slight OOC with Shinji. R
1. The Demon From Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, any of the characters, or any of the stuff relating to the franchise.

Rated M for: Strong Language, Violence, blood and gore (in later chapter), and adult themes.

**Well I finally got around to posting my story of Evangelion. So here is the first chapter. One of the things that made NGE so interesting was the relationships between the characters. Though it was also because of the psychological aspects which made in interesting to me. I try to stick close to the core of what made it interesting by having the characters question themselves in their own minds and of course developing the love-hate relationship of Shinji and Asuka. And without further ado I give you Spawn of Adam.**

* * *

Ikari Shinji looked out the window from where he sat in his home room class. It had been raining for close to a week now and the rain depicted what is mood felt like right now, miserable. Shinji had never cared much for a social life and shunned people away when they got to close to him. He preferred to sit in class and listen to his SDAT while the teacher ran through he normal, boring routine, of lecturing without pause. His teacher had gotten tired of having to put up with Shinji's constant absences and him not paying attention in class and just acted like his seat was empty. Shinji didn't care anymore whether he wanted him there or not. He just came to school and slept whenever his roommate at home got to much of a pain in the ass to deal with.

Shinji sighed and continued to look out the window. He had received an envelope this morning from his father stating that he would be moving the next day. That was one reason why Shinji never had a social life. His father who worked at the Nerv facilities somewhere in Tokyo-3 constantly kept his son moving from apartment to apartment not letting him stay in the same place very long. Shinji hated his father for this and the fact that he hadn't even seen him for over a year. His father had abandoned him to go work on his stupid Nerv projects, 'Whatever the fuck those were,' thought Shinji savagely.

He continued to look out the window when he heard the bell ring signaling the start of lunch. 'God damn this day,' he thought. 'I wish it would just hurry up and be over with so I can go to my next home. I can just hope that it'll be better than what I'm stuck with now.'

He was the last one to get up from his chair and walked swiftly past the teacher as he shot Shinji a scowl. 'Don't even think he bothered to right my name down on the register. Though it doesn't matter now. I'm leaving so I won't be seeing him any more. Shinji wished that he could throw a few insults at him but thought better. Even though transferring schools sucked he didn't want to have something like calling the teacher an old fuck on his record.

* * *

Leaving the school grounds he suddenly wished he would have just stayed put. Within minutes of exiting the school he was soaked to the bone and his clothes felt like they were weighing him down a few extra pounds.

Shinji however didn't want to go home, or what he called a home right now. Later he would get back, pack up, and simply wait for tomorrow to come. He didn't feel like facing his roommate right now. This morning they had gotten into a shouting match over last nights party that had been held. Shinji had come back from strolling the streets of Tokyo-3 to find his room a mess, empty bear bottles littering the floor, and the smell of vomit lingering. Worst of all he was stuck disinfecting the damn place and now just this morning he found out he was leaving.

'Should have left the idiot to clean the mess up himself,' he thought bitterly.

Most of his time spent in Tokyo-3 he had taken long walks through the streets and alley ways and he knew the place so well that he could close his eyes and walk by memory. It was one way that he used to escape the reality that he was facing. With his SDAT in hand he would walk aimlessly through Tokyo until he found a suitable spot to fall asleep. He almost wished that his father would just let sleep outside. At least he was more content this way.

He walked aimlessly for hours until he arrive at a spot that he visited often. He had arrived at the Bay of Tokyo and looked towards the sun which was just starting to set. It was stuff like this that only brought him into his own world. Watching the sun he could forget about everything and just watch until it set. Then, though he would be forced back to the sharp reality that was his life and plunged into his own misery again. "Its not like its my fault that I'm miserable. All my father ever does is shun me from place to place."

"Ah but its your decision not to connect with people," said a small voice in his head.

"I never get a chance though. I rarely stay at the same school for three months. How the hell am I supposed to connect with people and then stay in contact with them if I move around so much."

The voice didn't respond as though admitting defeat.

Shinji now laid back against the grassy shore and looked up into the sky, or what he could see of it. Many building towered over him and there tall peaks made it difficult for him to see much of the sky. He felt like they were pressing down around him. 'Damn this city,' he thought. 'There is nothing to do except get drunk, according to my roommate.' Even Shinji had to smile at that thought. 'Probably bending over the toilet right now and feeling his dinner coming up.'

Shinji would have liked to continue laying their until the sun finally set but willed himself to get up. Even though he hated his roommate he thought it appropriate to tell him that he would be leaving tomorrow. Pushing himself up into a sitting position he gave one finally look at the sun before he turned to go, but then did a double take.

He wasn't sure how long they had been there but someone was down by the water looking out across the ocean. Shinji squinted his eyes trying to make out who could be down there. Standing up he looked again and saw that it was a girl and she must have been close to his age. She had long red hair that came down to the middle of her back, and her hair was separating into three parts thanks to the hair clips that she wore. She was wearing a simple yellow dress that was blowing against the wind. The contrast between herself and the setting sun in front of her was almost blinding. It was almost as though that fiery red hair and sun dress magnified herself and the sun so that she gave off an eerie orange glow. Shinji wasn't sure what made him do it but he stood their for sometime watching the back of her. He had a sudden urge to go down their and find out who she was, but then shook his head.

"No point," he said softly. "Tomorrow I'll be gone again so theirs no point in finding out who she is."

Giving her back one last look he turned and walked back towards his soon to be old apartment. Though the thought of the setting sun and her was constantly on his mind for the rest of the night.

* * *

Shinji woke up the next morning and waited outside his roommates door. When he had come home last night he had found him sleeping on the couch passed out. Deciding that he would just wait till the next morning he had packed what little things he owned, and went to sleep.

Now he was leaning against his roommates door with his bag in his hand waiting for him to get up. Shinji sighed and looked down at his watch. He was supposed to meet this; he pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket which had the name of his new roommate, Misato Katsuragi in the next few hours. Shinji frowned at the name of this unidentified person. From the sound of it she was a women, and Shinji hadn't had a woman as a roommate, yet.

'Well, anything is probably better than what I'm stuck with right now,' he thought.

Sighing again he slumped down into a sitting position and leaned his head against the door.

'Ah hurry the hell up, he thought. 'I wanna get this over with.'

Shinji wasn't sure how long he had sat there waiting for his roommate to wake but it must have been at least half an hour. Feeling that he was starting to get drowsy from sitting their to long he stood up and turned to face the door. 'Enough I'm getting his ass up.'

He swung the door open about to tell his roommate to get the hell up. He was shocked to see that the bed was empty and seemed to have been for several hours.

"What the hell. This is the first time I've known him to get up early."

Shinji looked at his watch again and knew that he wouldn't be able to tell him in person.

"I guess I'll just leave him a note telling him I've left. I'm sure he wont care. He's been talking about having his girlfriend start sleeping over."

Shinji looked around and realized how weird it was that he was talking about this out loud to himself and suddenly felt lonely. At least he had had someone to talk to, but now...

"It'll work out," he said. Then shook his head and thought, 'I've got to stop talking out loud, its weird.'

Walking over to the table he tore off a piece of paper on the notepad that was sitting there and rummaged in his bag to find a pen that would work. Finding one that was suitable he hastily scribbled a quick message about where he was going.

_ Hey, I see you woke up early, odd. Anyway I'm leaving finally and thought that I should at least tell you about it. I think I told you that I might get moved again by my father, but you might not have been sober at the time._ _Well, I'm finally leaving now so you don't have to worry about me upsetting your girlfriend when she's over._

Shinji paused here and remembered when he had walked in on the two of them making love. The thought of that still brought stomach acid up his esophagus. Not sure how to finish it now he simply signed his name at the end of it and carried it into his room and placed it on his futon.

Walking back into what was considered the living room he gave everyone thing one last look before he turned his back on his old home and walked out the door.

* * *

Shinji walked the quickest way to get to his destination. He had a little under forty-five minutes to get to this cafe where he was supposed to me this Misato. Taking many short cuts down alley ways and old gravel roads he paused for a minute against a street sign catching his breath. His SDAT had repeated itself several times over now and he pulled the earphones out of his ear getting bored with the music.

Stuffing it back in his bag he straightened up and swung his bag over his shoulder and continued on to the cafe.

When Shinji arrived his first impression of it was one of disgust. It was tucked away in a corner of the street and looked as though it was reserved for only the poor. Now though that Shinji looked around he saw that he was in one of the old slums of Tokyo-3. It looked like a shack more than anything. The sign which hung over the front of the cafe was slightly lopsided and the nails that held it to the wood where rusted and obviously strained from the weight on the metal sign. The roof looked as though it had suffered many a battering from past storms and some of the shingles were missing. Shinji figured that it smelled like rot and mold inside and decided to wait outside. Or he felt that he would be mimicking his old roommate and vomiting.

Sitting himself down on the edge of the side walk he waited their for Misato to pick him up and take him away to whatever place she came from. Shinji could feel himself feeling drowsy again and tried to keep himself awake, but to no avail.

It was sometime later when Shinji awoke to the sound of a car engine. It sounded like it was in agony and if it had voice Shinji knew it would be screaming. Pushing himself up into a sitting position he looked to his left where he thought he heard the sound coming from. Suddenly he saw a blue spec speeding towards him.

'Shit,' he thought. 'That drivers crazy. If I don't move out of the way I'm gonna have my feet flattened to a pancake.'

Rolling over so that he was several feet away from the curb he was suddenly glad that he had done so. The car hadn't slowed at all and only stopped when its two wheels on its right side struck the curb and ran up along it. If Shinji hadn't backed away as far as he had he would have been pulled under the car.

Shinji felt something trickling down his arm now and looked down to see that in his haste to get out of the way he had skinned his elbow. 'Wonderful,' he thought. 'Thanks to this crazy driver I'm bleeding now.'

Standing up slowly he brushed the dust off his pants and shirt and now looked at his elbow. His elbow was now tinged with gravel and dirt and was starting to sting a little bit. Kneeling down he reached for his bag to take a cloth out when someone grabbed his hand. He turned around slowly to see the driver of the blue car looking at him with a worried look in her eyes.

"Your not bleeding are you?"

Shinji thought it would have been rude to state the obvious and make her feel ashamed and simply shrugged it off as though it was no big deal.

"You are bleeding aren't you. Oh God I'm so sorry. I was just so late that I was forced so speed most of the way here and I didn't see you and wasn't able to stop in time."

She walked back to her car and opened the glove compartment and pulled out a simple first aid kit. Shinji thought this was going a bit far and opened his mouth to say so but she simply shook her head.

"Its my fault that your injured so let me do this."

Shinji simply shrugged again and let her tend to his elbow. Then he felt the stinging grow stronger and had a sudden urge to yell out. He looked down and saw that she was rubbing his elbow with a small cloth that he suspected had alcohol on it. Looking away quickly so she wouldn't see the painful expression on his face. It was an odd feeling that he wasn't able to express. It almost felt like something a mother would do. Though he wasn't sure what a mother was like, since his had died when he had been young. Thoughts of his mother led to his father and he felt boiling hatred surge through him.

This stranger must have seen this and asked if he was all right. Shinji nodded and thought that he should at least thank her for what she was trying to make up for what she had done.

"Hey...um....thanks for well....helping....."

"No problem," she smiled. "Its all my fault anyway so I feel responsible for cleaning it."

"Thanks," Shinji mumbled again.

The female stranger responded by putting a bandage over Shinji's scrape. Shinji now raised his elbow now and looked at it. It still stung a little but at least it was clean. He could see that some blood was trying to seep through the bandage and knew he'd have to change it later.

Looking over at the female driver he finally got a good look at her face. She seemed to be in her mid to late twenties. She had long purple hair that was tied back in a pony tail and on top of her head she had a pair of sun glasses. 'Way to young to be my mother,' thought Shinji. Then he looked at her chest and was surprised to see a Nerv I.D. badge pinned to her jacket which he now saw had the Nerv emblem of a leaf embedded on the shoulder.

"Look I'm really sorry about what happened just now. I just...."

"Don't worry so much about it. You've more than made up for what just happened." Shinji now gave her a small smile that she returned somewhat forcefully.

Shinji surprised himself at the bluntness of his next question. "You don't happen to work at Nerv do you?"

The female driver frowned at him. "I didn't know many people knew about the existence of Nerv."

"Well, the badge is in full few and you've got the emblem on your jacket. So it was a little bit obvious."

"How do you know so much? Do you know someone who works there?"

"Err yeah. My father does, at least last time I talked to him he did. Though that was about a year ago."

"Your father," said the female driver now with a shocked look on her face.

"I think so. Why you don't know him do you?"

"Wait," she paused. "Your last name doesn't happen to be Ikari does it?"

"Yeah it does," said Shinji just as surprised.

Suddenly the female driver sat down on the curb next to him and laughed out. This shocked Shinji more than anything that had happened so far that day. Her mood immediately changed from concerned to one of complete laxness. She suddenly hit him rather hard on the back, looked at him again, and laughed.

"So I take it you know my dad?"

"Know him. Everyone in Nerv knows who your father is. I work for him. He's the man thats in charge of Nerv. Gendo Ikari is well known for his experiments with-"

She cut herself off and Shinji looked back at her rather blankly.

"Well," she said. "This makes my job a lot easier. Though I never would have thought that I'd almost run you over. I was a bit worried that you would have gotten tired of waiting for me."

Shinji frowned at her, "You act as though you were planning to meet with....wait," and here Shinji turned to her and his eyes widened slightly. "You don't happen to be Misato Katsuragi."

She simply winked at him and said, "Bingo Shinji."

Shinji was surprised but also felt happy with the change of circumstances. "So I take it that I'll be living with you for a while," he asked.

"That appears to be so."

Shinji suddenly felt happier than he could last remember. She didn't seem all that much like an adult now that she knew who he was but he didn't seem to care. He was just happy that he seemed to be able to talk with her easily.

"Well," she said standing up. "Now that I found you I suggest that we head back to my apartment and get you settled in." She looked at the bag that was sitting next to him. "I take it thats all the stuff you own."

Shinji looked down and nodded. It wasn't a whole lot of stuff. Most of it he had had for several years and he needed to get some new clothes. His old ones were starting to get to small.

"Well, I think that I'll have to take you shopping sometime so you can get what ever you like. I take it you haven't had many choices to choose what you want."

Shinji continued to look down and mumbled a barely audible no.

Misato looked at him and felt a small smile appear on her face. Tapping him slightly on the shoulder she gestured for him to put his stuff in the back, which he did.

"OK," she said. "Next stop my apartment. And I'll try not to drive to sporadically so you don't feel sick."

At this point Shinji was just happy to have found somebody that seemed to care about him.

* * *

Whatever Misato Katsuragi was she was not clean. Navigating through the mess that was her apartment was almost impossible. Shinji took a small room adjacent to another room that was currently empty. He had thought about asking why he wasn't using that one but decided it was best not to be rude. She was giving him a place to sleep after all.

One thing that he hadn't been expecting about her was the fact that she drank a lot of beer. Upon opening to fridge to get something to drink he saw more six packs of beer than what had been at his old roommates place. Shinji wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel annoyed and simply closed it and got water out of the tap.

Misato had to go back to work almost immediately when they had gotten back and said that she wouldn't be back until later in the afternoon. She said that she would tell his father that she had picked him up and that now he was living in her apartment. Shinji was guessing that his father didn't care. As long as he wasn't bothering him at all.

Shinji had gotten tired of the bottles of beer and bags of junk food littering the floor and decided to do a little clean up. From what he saw she mainly ate take out or instant meals. 'Well, good thing I taught myself how to cook these past years,' thought Shinji.

Finishing up with the cleaning up he proceeded to take a shower but opened the wrong door and found himself face to face with a penguin. Shinji let out a loud yell that could be heard several floors down as he backed up to the fridge reaching for a blunt object. The penguin simply looked back at him blinking at him sleepily. Yawning widely the penguin grasped a hold of the sliding door and closed it once again, but not before giving a loud squawk in Shinji's direction

Shinji's heart was beating faster than he could last remember. 'What the hell is that woman thinking. Keeping a penguin in an environment like this.' Now though he wondered if the penguin had some bit of intelligence in it and decided to ask her later.

Sighing slightly he walked to the correct bathroom this time, stripped quickly, and was pleased to feel the hot water hitting his skin. For no apparent reason his thoughts strayed to last night when he had seen that girl down by the shore against the setting sun. If he knew that things would have happened like this and he would be staying in Tokyo-3 then he would have asked her name at least. Though now it seemed that he wouldn't see her again. "Wonder what she's like...." He wondered out loud.

Suddenly he hit his head against the wall of the shower. Certain pervert thoughts had just crossed his mind and he didn't quite appreciate them. He didn't even know who she was. Hadn't even seen her face for that matter. "Stop thinking like that you idiot. The chances of seeing her again are almost nil."

Turning off the hot water before anything else crossed his mind, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked to his bedroom to change.

* * *

Misato didn't come home until late at night. Shinji had fallen asleep in his new room with his SDAT waiting for her to come home. He awoke when he heard her stumbling around the kitchen and slid his door open a little to see her looking in the fridge for something.

"Misato-san your home later than you said you would be."

"Oh sorry Shinji. I had some things I had to take care of. Thanks for cleaning up around her. I've been meaning to but I just don't have enough time."

Shinji highly doubted that she would have cleaned if she had a week of nothing to do but didn't care. It kept him occupied at least when he had nothing to do.

Sitting down in a chair next to her he frowned when he saw that she had a can of beer in her hand. Even though Shinji was only fifteen he knew that drinking before bed wasn't the smartest thing to do and opened his mouth to say something when she cut across him.

"I talked to your father and he wanted me to tell you something."

Shinji wasn't it the mood to listen to anything that his father felt worthwhile but simply nodded.

"He wants you to continue going to the school your currently attending."

Shinji was surprised at this. "Does he want to keep me here for a while or something."

"Can't say," said Misato taking a huge gulp of beer.

"I met that penguin of yours but the way," said Shinji.

Misato raised an eyebrow at him and put her beer down. "Forgot that I hadn't showed Pen-Pen to you yet. He didn't attack you or anything did he."

"No, seemed like I woke him up, he just went back to sleep."

"Just like him." She finished her beer and belched rather unladylike. She was a lot different then what he had expected.

"I'm going to bed now. I expect you to go to school like a good boy tomorrow. Make sure you do go or you'll have to answer to me."

Shinji chuckled, "You sound like a mother."

"I'm now your guardian so its only natural that I look after you."

Shinji blinked and felt tears forming in his eyes and hastily wiped them away with the back of his hand.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Shinji, good night."

"Yeah, good night Misato-san."

* * *

When Shinji arrived at school the next day whispers followed him wherever he went. Apparently most of the kids had thought he had finally dropped out. They were therefore surprised to see him their the next day. True to his word Shinji didn't even bring his SDAT so that it wouldn't distract him. Now that he had a place that he could happily call home he felt like putting more of an effort into his school work, even if the other kids didn't believe him.

His teacher still didn't think that he was trying seriously though and ignored him for most of the day. So the morning passed without much of a difference in what Shinji was normally used to and he was just thinking of going home when their teacher addressed them.

"We have a new student that will be joining us today. She is an exchange student from Germany and she can speak Japanese fluently. She has also graduated from a German university at the age of fourteen and is extremely brilliant."

He looked up from the piece of paper that he was reading from and looking towards the door. "Is that it then," he asked with a slight annoyed tone in his voice?

"Just thought they should know how smart I am," said an energetic voice from the other side of the door leading out into the hallway.

Shinji was starring out the window and was only picking up about half of this. 'Just another annoying girl like the rest of them,' he thought.

Again their teacher starting talking but the girl had cut across him now. "Your not introducing me right, let me do," she snapped.

Even though Shinji wasn't paying attention to what was going on he could tell that a change in the room had happened. All the guys around him had started whispering all at once and Shinji could only assume that it had something to do with the new girl. He heard the guy behind him; 'Touji was his name I think,' thought Shinji, whispering to his friend.

"Damn look at her. Got to be the hottest girls in the school now. Those slender legs and Wow, she's around the same age as all the other girl but look at that bust." He whistled slightly here and Shinji had to suppress his snicker.

The girl had started talking again either oblivious to the muttering of the guys or simply enjoying it.

Shinji heard the light tapping of chalk against the board and now heard her start talking again though this time he was paying attention enough to at least get her name.

"My name is Asuka Langely Soryu. Pleasure to meet all of you."

All at once their was a massive babbling from all the guys except Shinji who was once again ignoring the whole thing. Asuka had questions launched at her from all over the place and she couldn't help but smirk as all the guys fawned over her. 'Like wild beasts,' she thought.

It took some time for their teacher to get everyone quieted down. When he had yelled at several guys who had tried to get her phone number and threatened several others to send them to the principles office he told Asuka to take the empty seat in front of Shinji.

Shinji only caught this last part and sighed slightly. From the sound of this girl she thought that she was superior to everyone else. He would have preferred to just continue looking out the window but saw that somebody was standing over him.

Looking away from the window he came face to face with Asuka Soryu who was starring back at him. The entire classroom had gone quiet and Shinji felt his heart stop as soon as he looked into her face.

'No way,' he thought. 'She can't be, but....no its gotta be her.'

He was looking up into the face of the girl he had seen on the beach. Her hair was the correct color and Shinji confirmed that it was her when he saw the hair clips that she had in her hair. His eyes strayed to her face and saw that she had blue eyes which seemed to be rather stern. He couldn't believe that he was looking into the face of her and that he also knew her name now. What's more she was looking at him rather intently and curiously. 'This is awkward,' thought Shinji as beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

Suddenly she put her hand out and flicked her forefinger against his forehead making him flinch slightly. Shinji wasn't sure what to make of this behavior. Was she teasing him, or what?

Suddenly their teacher cleared his throat slightly and Asuka turned around to frown at him. Shinji's eyes strayed over her again taking her in. It was so shocking that what was happening was happening. Shinji felt that if he continued to stare at her he would start having perverted thoughts again and quickly turned his gaze back to the window. Asuka saw this and now their was a very annoyed look on her face. She turned her back on him and sat down in front of him.

Shinji could hear the muttering of the fellow males in his classroom all discussing what had just happened between the two. "Why the fuck does he get to sit behind her. Its not like he cares if he's able to see anything if she bends forward."

"Yeah and why did she flick his forehead. Do they know each other from somewhere?"

Shinji was getting annoyed at this and saw that in front of him Asuka was steadily turning red.

However the teacher started to call out roll and brought the class back order.

Asuka meanwhile was thinking about what had just happened. When she had walked into the class every single guy was drooling over her, though that one behind her hadn't even flinched when she walked in. Either he was gay, retarded, or had no emotions of which she thought the last one was mostly true. She had attempted to get a reaction out of him by flirting with him a little, just to tease him, but he didn't even respond. 'What a weak little ass,' she thought. She couldn't stand weak guys.

Meanwhile the teacher had continued to call out names and Asuka answered when she heard hers called. When the teacher asked if Ayanami Rei was still absent Asuka smirked, 'So the precious First Child goes to this school as well. What a fun experience that will be, trying to have a conversation with the doll. She's even more lifeless than hormonally challenged behind me.'

The teacher went through the list of names and Shinji was starting to wonder if his name was even still on their when the teacher called out his name rather reluctantly.

"And Shinji Ikari. You're still here aren't you?" It was as if the teacher wished he wasn't.

"Hai," replied Shinji. 'Though I sure as hell don't want to be,' he thought.

Asuka however had spun around in her chair when she heard Shinji's last name and glared at him.

Shinji noticed this but continued to stare out the window. 'God what is wrong with her. As far as I know she has no reason to hate me at all. Or is she just normally pissed at everyone.'

Asuka had heard that Shinji's last name was Ikari but was still surprised to hear it. 'So your the son of Gendo Ikari who's in charge of Nerv, huh. I guess going to this school wasn't a complete waste of my time.'

Facing back to the front of the room Asuka ignored Shinji for the rest of the class period.

Shinji however couldn't help but have his eyes stray towards her occasionally. She was really quite beautiful, even if her attitude was a little rough. Shinji was really starting to wish that he had just asked her name yesterday. If he had maybe things wouldn't have gotten off to such a rough start.

* * *

After school Shinji slowly walked back towards Misato's apartment. He figured that she would be wanting to here about what he did in school today. 'She can be a bit annoying at times,' he thought. But then she was the best roommate that he had, so he wasn't complaining.

As Shinji walked he couldn't help but notice that Asuka was walking on the sidewalk opposite of where he was. It seemed that the two of them where heading in the same direction and Shinji sweat dropped when he remembered that there paths would cross at the next intersection.

As she crossed the sidewalk to get on his side he hurriedly sped up so that he could be in front of her. He was nervous now about talking to her considering she seemed to hate him. Though she had other plans as he felt a slight pain in the back of his leg as somebody pushed him forward sending him sprawling to the ground.

With his face plant on the ground he felt a foot step on top of his back and he turned his head to see her putting half of her weight down on his body. 'What the hell is wrong with her,' he thought.

She merely smirked back at him and laughed, as she put more weight down on his back. "So gonna say something, gonna cry out like a baby. Your just a spineless coward aren't you, baka."

Shinji had no idea what to make of this sudden outburst. "What are you talking about,' he groaned into the pavement?

"This morning baka, you were trying to look at my ass weren't you," she said nastily.

Shinji had no idea what to make of this accusation, and simply stood up a little forcibly sending her backwards a few steps. He turned around and looked at her face only to see that those blue eyes showed simple malice. 'She's annoying as hell. That's it I've decided she really is just an another annoying bitch.'

Ignoring her he continued to walk at a steady pace.

'_Mien Gott,' _she thought in German. What does it take to get a reaction from this baka.' No guy had ever rejected her advances and she wasn't about to let this retard succeed.

She sped up to catch up with him and soon she was walking at the same pace next to him. Shinji couldn't help it, he looked over at her slightly only to see that she had one hand on the front of her school uniform and was undoing the first few button to reveal a slight cleavage and what appeared to be part of a white bra. Shinji determinedly looked away and sped up again leaving her standing their silently.

She was more than just pissed right now and stormed up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the nearest brick wall. Shinji felt pain go through his back as he figured a bruise had just appeared.

"What the fuck is wrong with you," she screamed back at him. "Do you not feel anything or what."

Shinji looked past her left shoulder not wanting to show any sign that he cared.

"How the fuck can you not react even when you see part of my breasts."

This was about all Shinji could take and he snarled back at her, "If you expect to get a reaction out of me because of that, your dead wrong. I've seen fake breasts on a mannequin that looked sexier than yours."

This earned Shinji the first slap that he ever had in his life.

Feeling the dull ringing that was now going through his ears he finally looked back at her. She was beside herself in anger and drew back her hand and this time punched him in the stomach. Shinji felt the air escape hum as he sunk down a little against the wall gasping for breath.

She simply screamed, "YOU BASTARD." And stormed down the side walk.

Shinji sat in a crouched position for some time waiting till he had regained his breath. 'Wonderful,' he thought. 'I get a cool roommate who acts like my guardian, but now I've met the most bitchiest girl ever. Great way to start my new life out.'

Sighing slightly as he drew in breath he felt the pain in his back. Knowing that he'd have to look at that when he got home he slowly walked back home wishing that Asuka would go back to Germany.

* * *

"Misato I'm back," Shinji called as he took off his shoes and stepped into the apartment.

"Ah good I was just getting worried. You took longer than I expected."

"Well, some things happened," said Shinji as he walked into the kitchen and stopped dead when he saw that Misato was drinking tea with someone.

Asuka was sitting at the kitchen table with Misato holding a tea cup in her hand which immediately fell to the floor, shattering, sending tea in all directions.

Shinji blinked blankly back and suddenly realized what she was wearing. The amount of skin that she had shown him early was nothing compared to this. She was dressed in a loose tang-top which fell loosely around her chest revealing a little more what Shinji cared to comment on. She had apparently abandoned the need to even bother with pants and was in nothing more than her underwear, which was also white. What's more she had removed the hair clips and now her hair was meshed together in one long wave.

Asuka starred blankly back at him for several seconds before shouting, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS."

She ran at him and grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him ferociously. Thankfully Misato stepped in between them before she was able to cause him any more bodily harm.

"Asuka calm down," said Misato as she dragged her away from Shinji. She was now trying to claw his eyes out.

"Why in the fuck is he here."

Misato simply laughed. "I see that the two of you know each other from somewhere."

Shinji now spoke up and said, "Unfortunately yes."

"What was that you piece of shit," screamed Asuka. "Do you have any idea how much I hate you."

"That makes two of his," scowled Shinji.

"Now come on you two," said Misato. "You guys are both going to be living here so I expect you to be able to get along."

They both stared blankly back at her.

"Come again," asked Asuka. "I don't think I heard you correctly."

"You. Two. Will. Be. Living. Together. Here," repeated Misato.

Asuka looked blankly back at her and then turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

"Asuka where are you going," asked Misato as Asuka gathered up her things.

"I'm leaving. No way in hell can I live in the same room with this perverted, spineless, emotionless, coward."

With that she slammed the door and left the apartment.

Shinji was left standing alone in the kitchen as the whole thing hit him. 'Oh God me and Asuka living together, I wouldn't survive a day.' However when Misato came back in she told him that Asuka had left without any intention of coming back.

"What the hell happened between the two of you," asked Misato.

"A lot," was all Shinji said before he launched into the school day and what happened afterwards.

* * *

By the time he had finished several hours had gone by and she could hear the steady plop plop as it started to rain outside.

Misato looked out the window. She was starting to get worried about Asuka. She had left in nothing but that tang-top and underwear and was worried that she would be getting cold by now.

Walking into the living room she saw that Shinji was contently sitting on the couch listening to his SDAT and reading a book. 'Does he really not care about here? Its not like she's the most unattractive girl out there.' Then she suddenly winced at the prospect of someone taking advantage of her with it raining like this.

"Shinji get up," she said pushing against his arm rather forcibly.

"Huh....Oh Misato, what do you want?"

"What I want is for you to go out and find Asuka."

Shinji frowned, "Why, you heard her, she doesn't want to be in the same room with me."

"So are you saying you aren't worried about her at all."

"I..." he hesitated. "She can taking of herself," he said finally.

"Look its raining out and she's left in clothes that aren't even suitable for the summer. What's more the possibility of her getting raped is very real."

This made Shinji flinch slightly, but he ignored it. "Thats her problem not mine."

This earned him the second slap of his life and the second in the same day. He put his hand up to his face and felt that spot that stung slightly from where Misato's hand had struck. He looked up and saw that she was glaring at him with something close to hatred.

"Are you that insensitive, Shinji?" Do you seriously not care what could happen to her?" She's out their in the freezing rain possibly being picked up by some guy in a truck with who knows what happening to her. And you say that its her problem not yours. She's right you don't have emotions, and you are a coward."

He looked back at her and suddenly felt ashamed of himself for thinking like that. She was right he was emotionless and a coward.

Sitting bolt upright now he flung himself off the couch and ran to his room tossing on a pair of jeans a long sleeve shirt and a jacket. He was about to leave the room when he decided that he better bring a spare for Asuka.

He ran out of his room and found himself face to face with Misato.

"I...I-I'm sorry for being such an insensitive jerk. I'll be sure to find her and bring her back."

With that he ran out the door into the downpour.

Misato smiled slightly at him now, "Hmph he just doesn't want to let on to his emotion's."

* * *

Shinji ran through Tokyo-3 thinking of all the possibilities of where Asuka could have gone. It had been at least three hours since she left and forty-five minutes since this downpour had started. 'She must have found shelter somewhere," he thought and decided to check around some of the slums that littered Tokyo-3. Though he hoped that she had stayed out of those. The possibility of rape was only to real to him now and he cursed himself for not worrying about her sooner. Even if she was being stubborn about everything.

Soon Shinji found himself going door to door to peoples houses asking if they had seen a girl around age fifteen or sixteen with long red hair and blue eyes. He didn't feel like mentioning what she was wearing. None of them where able to provide any answer and Shinji eventually decided that she wasn't in this part of Tokyo-3.

His mind was starting to scream out at him for letting things escalate to this point. 'AH IF ONLY I HAD JUST ASKED HER NAME YESTERDAY THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE HAPPENED.' Suddenly he remembered the beach yesterday. 'Yes,' he hold himself. 'Thats got to be where she was.

Running faster than he could remember with the spare jacket flopping along his shoulders he managed to get to the beach with the span of minutes. Looking down he couldn't see much owing to the fact that a mist had settled on to the beach. He quickly ran down onto the beach and started calling out her name frantically.

'Fuck, she better be here,' he thought.

This mist was so hard to see that several times had tripped over wooden logs that had been washed up onto the beach. Suddenly he tripped over something that was rather large and heavy. Falling to the ground he reached over and felt that it was a bag of some sort. 'Asuka's bag?'

Suddenly he yelled out, "Asuka where are you."

At first all he could here was his own voice returning to him on the wind, but then he thought he heard a reply from somewhere off to his right. Scooping up her bag he ran in the direction of the voice only to trip over something much more squishy and heard a small yelp of surprise. He realized that he had fallen on top of her but didn't care about the position when he heard her voice.

"Baka Shinji what are you doing out here in the freezing cold."

The mist cleared and he saw that he was a few inches away from her face.

"As-u-ka," he said weakly.

She frowned up at him, and sighed. "How long do you plan on lying on top of me hentai."

"Ah, no...this is," muttered Shinji.

He pushed himself off of her and saw that she had gotten up also. His face opened up into his first blush as he saw that the rain had made her tang-top see through. It clung to her body like a fly clung to fly paper and Shinji had to tare his gaze away from her for fear of seeing him blush.

"So what do you want," she asked with a scowl.

Shinji looked back at her rather surprised. "Why do you think I'm out here in the freezing rain? It certainly isn't to go for a jog."

"Real witty," she smirked.

"I was worried about you."

Asuka had to let that flow through her mind before it registered.

"You where worried about me," she whispered.

"Of course, you just left without a word. Then this storm started up, and you...well weren't wearing much so....and also I well....I mean.....your not the most err unattractive girl so....I was a bit well....worried about your well being. What with how you looked and....some guys might have wanted to take advantage of that."

Asuka was amazed at what he was referring to.

"You were scared that I might have been raped," she whispered.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

She was touched by his chivalrousness but didn't want to admit it.

"Baka, I can take care of myself."

She frowned at him. "Thanks though, I guess....or....well.....yeah"

It was a little awkward for the two of them. Barely three hours ago they had been looking daggers at each other. Shinji took this moment to hand her her bag and also give her the spare coat.

She looked at him surprised at the thoughtfulness of it and took it without question. Though when she put it on she started shivering worse than ever.

"Is something wrong," he asked?

"Of course baka, this thing is soaking wet. I felt better without it."

"Well, then take mine. Its warmer."

"With your body touching it, not a chance."

"Oh just deal with it Asuka. Your freezing cold."

"Fine," she snapped at him.

They both looked at the ground for a while before Shinji said, "Come on lets go back. Misato's worried sick about you."

"No, I still don't want to live in the same house as you."

"What, you have another place to go, or where you planning to sleep outside."

Asuka flushed angrily at what he said about her not having a place to sleep. "Anythings better than having to share an apartment with you, baka."

"Fine then," sighed Shinji. "Have fun spending the night under a cardboard box."

He turned to leave but felt her grab onto his wrist. He smiled slightly, 'Hmph figures.'

She spun him around with surprising force and gave him something reminiscent of a smile. "Fine, you win, baka Shinji. I'll stay at Misato's place until I find a proper place to stay. However," and here her tone turned deathly cold. "If I ever catch you sneaking into my room in the middle of the night, or peeking at me in the shower, I'll be sure to kick you so hard in the balls you'll have to have them removed surgically out of your ass."

She walked past him but not before giving him a little push that sent him sprawling on his ass. 'What did I just do,' asked Shinji to himself? 'I actually convinced her to stay. I must be loosing my mind. I wont last till sunrise.'

* * *

Asuka arrived back at Misato's apartment a little ahead of Shinji. Shinji hadn't wanted to give her an excuse to start physically abusing him again and walked several paces behind her.

When Asuka walked back into Misato's apartment Misato threw her arms around Asuka and gave her a big hug. Shinji arrived back in time to see this and had to suppress a grin. 'Maybe it wont be so bad. Having her stay here.'

Misato let go of Asuka and now walked over to Shinji and gave him the same big hug. Shinji felt that his back was about ready to split in two. He looked over Misato's shoulder and saw that Asuka was laughing at him silently. The difference it brought to her features was astounding. Where before their had been moody, angry German girl, their now stood someone who seemed rather friendly, Shinji smirked at her slightly. Seeing this Asuka stopped laughing and gave him a scowl before she walked past them, to her room and slammed the sliding door to a close only to have it bounce back open.

"KUSU JAPANESE DOORS. CANT I EVEN GET SOME PRIVACY. I'M GONNA NEED TO GET A LOCK ON THIS THING TO KEEP THAT HENTAI OUT."

Shinji just laughed at her out burst and walked to his own room feeling suddenly tired. Flopping down on his own futon he couldn't help but feel slightly happy that he would be living together with Asuka. Rolling over onto his side he turned of his SDAT and fell asleep.

* * *

**Review it if you can**


	2. The Chosen Child

**Posting Chapter 2 along with chapter 1. Its just how I do things. Get a nice long stream of chapters and post them together. Well I've also got another story going at the same time and that one currently takes precedence over this one. So don't expect to see this update as much as I (or you) would like it.**

* * *

Touji and Kensuke were sitting at their desks waiting for class to start, and talking about none other than Asuka.

"I can't believe that we get a girl as hot as she is, and to think she's foreign. Just thinking about her gets me rigid," said Touji.

Kensuke just nodded his consent aware that the same thing happened every time she walked by him. "I brought my best camera today just incase in case I was able to get a view up her skirt."

Touji turned to his friend, grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "If you do be sure to give a copy to me. That's gonna be some of the best jerk off material that we can get our hands on."

"What kind of underwear do you think she wears," asked Kensuke.

"With luck a silky red thong with matching bra if were lucky," replied Touji as he was fantasizing about it.

Just then the two of them were brought out of their discussion by loud voices coming from the hall way.

"What the fuck do mean you let Misato make our lunches for us today. You know how bad of a cook she is right?"

Touji and Kensuke heard a loud audible sigh, then a response, "Hai Asuka, but I was to tired from last night to bother making anything," came Shinji's voice

Kensuke and Touji's eyes widened in fear. 'Since when were Asuka and Shinji on a first name basis. 'And what the fuck did Shinji mean when he was to tired from last night. Surely they didn't have sex.'

The classroom door was then thrown open and in stepped the familiar German red head who every male had recently had thoughts about in their showers at home.

"Shinji no baka, how the fuck do expect me to eat the shit called food that Misato makes."

"Then just eat the school food," said Shinji starting to get annoyed.

Asuka wheeled around and grabbed him by the shirt before yelling at him, "That shits almost as worse as Misato's cooking. I'd rather starve then eat it."

"THEN STARVE," yelled Shinji back at her finally losing his patience.

Asuka was surprised at his outburst. She always got what she wanted and she wasn't about to let him make a fool of herself in class. Drawing back her hand she intended to slap him with everything she had but he caught her hand as it was brought up to his face. She was now frozen in silent disbelief. 'This weak ass coward has the nerve to touch me. Well, he won't be standing much longer.' Now she brought up her knee and intended to knee him in the balls but she was frozen when she heard his comment.

"Incase you haven't realized Asuka their is only a certain amount of shit that I can take before I get pissed off and let it all out. So if you ever want to see the angry side of me continue to do what your doing. I've got enough hate built up over the span of my life, and wouldn't mind sending it all in your direction."

Shinji let go of her hand and walked over to his desk, only realizing now that their fight was witnessed by the whole class. 'Maybe they'll think twice before talking behind my back.'

Every male in the class was now looking at Shinji with absolute loathing. "Where the hell does he get off yelling at Asuka like that," said somebody whispering to their friend.

"It looks like Asuka is in shock over what happened."

"Well, can't blame her, she's a new student and she now knows how much of an ass Shinji is."

Asuka stood their for several minutes still looking straight ahead. This was the first time that she had ever been yelled at like that before, not even her step mother who she loathed. Getting control of herself she walked over to her desk, ignoring the fact that Shinji was behind her, and sat down.

Most of the class continued to stare at the two of them, though they were both staring off into space completely unaware of the stares they were getting.

* * *

During lunch Shinji was starting to have regrets about blowing up in Asuka's face. But she really was so damn bitchy sometimes. He thought that after last night they could have gotten along fairly well but that morning wasn't very fun.

Shinji had woken up to his alarm going off and saw that he had almost no time to get ready. He had taken a quick shower tossed on some clothes and ran into the kitchen only to find Asuka sitting their tapping her finger on the table.

She had given him a sour look and just said food. Shinji had raised his eyebrows at this point and had asked why she didn't make it herself. He remembered that this was the start of one of her bitchy moods again. She had said that since Misato was such a lousy cook then it was his job to cook for her every morning before school and every afternoon when they came home.

Shinji had refused at first but then after receiving a sharp blow to the face he gave in and cooked her something that he had never tried since she didn't seem to like Japanese food. All in all he thought that his first attempt at a German breakfast was rather decent. Even Asuka seemed to think the sauerkraut was good, though she didn't mention anything of it.

Then though when they were just about to leave Asuka had demanded that he also make lunch for them. Shinji had simply pointed to two sack lunches that were obviously supposed to be for them. Asuka had said that Misato had made those and that their was no way that she was going to touch anything that Misato cooked. Shinji could understand her reasoning, he had already had a bad experience with Misato who didn't even seem to know how to cook rice.

Asuka however had thrown her sack lunch at Shinji's face spilling the contents all over his face and forcing him to take a shower. Which made her even more pissed at him for almost making them late.

Now though as Shinji had his back against railing up on the school roof he was starting to wish that he had just done what she asked. In truth he wanted to be her friend but she just blew off his attempts to make conversation when yesterday she had practically tried to seduce him. Though if he had done anything he assumed she would have kicked him in the balls. Suddenly he heard the opening and closing of a door and looked around to see two of his class mates, Touji and Kensuke. Touji was standing their rather threatening cracking his knuckles while Kensuke was holding his camera up as though preparing to start taking pictures.

Shinji raised an eyebrow up at them and asked, "What do you two want."

Touji's response was a mean right hook to the side of Shinji's face.

Shinji was caught unaware and went flying to the concrete landing hard and reopening his cut that he had received when Misato almost ran him over. Feeling a steady pain in his arm and something warm trickling down and dripping down on the ground he looked up only to be greeted by another punch of Touji's.

This next one dazed him slightly as he saw white spots in front of him. Wiping a trickle of blood that had appeared at the side of his mouth he heard Touji say, "You little shit. What the fuck where you harassing Asuka for this morning."

Shinji would have loved to retort that she had it coming but felt like his head was going to split open any moment. It didn't help that Kensuke had now started taking pictures and was making his vision fade and turn blurry. Shinji then felt a sharp jab to his stomach and felt all the wind knocked out of him including his lunch. Wiping his mouth again which now tasted like blood and bile he looked up again to see Touji looking down on him, disgust all over his face.

Touji then picked him up by the collar of his shirt and gave him a final warning, "If I ever see you yelling at Asuka again I'll make sure that you lose more than just your lunch."

Looking up slowly at the jocks face Shinji smirked with what remained of his consciences and said, "If you were living with the redheaded bitch then you wouldn't be so inclined to hitting me." Upon saying this Shinji felt a blow to the front of his face and felt his nose breaking spewing blood everywhere before he passed out.

* * *

The first thing Shinji realized when he was conscious again was that someone had woken him up with a light pound on the top of his head. The second thing he realized was that his whole head was on fire. Touching the side of his face he felt a sticky sensation and pulled his hand away to see crimson blood on his hand. Remembering what had happened he put his had up to his nose and felt that it had been bent into a weird angle. Wincing slightly at how it felt he now moved his tongue around in his mouth to see if any teeth had been knocked loose. Not finding any he spit on the ground expecting to see blood but only seeing white saliva.

"Thats disgusting," a voice in front of him said. "By the way you look like shit."

Shinji looked up and was surprised to see Asuka standing over him with a frown on her face. A mixture of emotions surged through Shinji including, loathing, spite, self hatred, and for some reason longing. How the hell he could still like her even with this being partially her fault for him ending up in this mess, he didn't know. Though now that he looked at her face more closely he thought he saw something else hidden behind that frown of hers, worry. Even so Shinji didn't want to have her laughing in his face so he rudely said, "What do you want?"

Asuka was surprised at this tone of voice and said, "Nothing really, I just decided to skip class and was wandering around when I saw you passed out up here. What happened anyway."

Now Shinji could definitely detect the worry in her voice. "Why do you care? I figured seeing me like this would make you happy."

This brought a sour look to Asuka's, "Asshole, why would I be happy about something like this."

'And yet you seem to enjoy hitting me every chance you get,' thought Shinji. Giving her a final look he sighed and said, "Touji, that big dumb jock felt like fucking up my face after our little argument this morning."

Asuka starred back at him in surprise, "You mean that baka did this to you just because you yelled at me."

"Surprised? Expected for him to kick the shit out of me even more, I assume."

Asuka looked back at him annoyed, "Why the hell do you think I'm enjoying this. It sickens me really."

"Hmph," was all Shinji managed to say.

Suddenly he felt something soft hit his face and looked up to see a white rag hanging over the side of his head. Looking over in Asuka's direction he saw that she was watching him expectingly.

"Thats to clean yourself off with. Now get a move on. I feel like vomiting from all that blood."

Shinji nodded his consent and proceeded to wipe as much of the blood off of his face as he could. His white shirt was ruined though, the blood had already stained it.

"Why are you being nice to me all the sudden anyway, Asuka?"

Asuka who had had her back turned to him now wheeled around and said, "Don't get any ideas. I just feel like this is a good way for me to repay you for what you did last night. Also...I....feel that some of this....is well, my fault."

Shinji thought that his brain had shut down momentarily and he had miss heard what she just said. "Asuka, well, umm thanks. But this is more my fault. I was the one that got angry and yelled at you. Also, while Touji was hitting me, I kind of said somethings not so nice about you. I regret saying those now, it was more of the heat of the moment and I was still angry with you."

"Baka Shinji..."

Shinji continued to wipe the blood of his face while Asuka leaned over the railing and watched down town Tokyo-3. Shinji was surprised however when she crouched down next to him and frowned at his face. "You missed a spot by the way, bottom left lip."

Shinji hastily whipped the corner of his mouth, "Gone now?"

Asuka laughed which again seemed to change the way she looked. "Yeah, you look a lot better."

Now they stood their hanging over the railing looking at downtown Tokyo-3.

"Hey Asuka how come you decided to skip class. Surely it wasn't to look for me."

"What you baka. Of course not. I've already learned everything you guys are covering. Don't forget I graduated from a university at the age of fourteen. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for....certain reasons."

Shinji would have liked to know what those certain reasons but knew better than to ask. Suddenly he was pulled away from his thoughts when he saw Asuka reaching into the pocket of her blouse to pull out her phone.

"Hai, yes I'm at school......I'll tell you later......NO!.........You want me to come in?........Another one....hai, hai, I'll head their right now....OK see you soon." With that she hung up the phone and turned to Shinji. "Sorry baka but I've got some things that I've got take care of so I got to go. Though I expect you to have dinner cooked for me when I get home."

"Err what time will that be."

Asuka knew that it could be anytime from now till the next day but just said sometime after six, hopefully.

"OK I'll have it ready when you get back. And Misato should be back around the same time to."

Asuka didn't want to let on how close he was, just nodded and said that she would see him later that night.

* * *

'Hmm I wonder what Asuka will want for dinner. She hates everything we Japanese eat so....I could go online I suppose and find something that she might like. Then again I think I read somewhere about something called Jagerschnitzel.....err what did it include again.'

Suddenly Shinji was brought out of his train of thought when an announcement boomed through all of Tokyo-3. "The JSSDF has announced that Tokyo-3 will be going into lock down. All citizens will please head to the nearest shelter. I repeat all citizens will you please head to the nearest shelter. That is all."

Shinji stood their in shock, "Wonderful, what the hell could have happened that is sending all of Tokyo-3 into disarray." Not wanting to wait for something to happen Shinji quickly followed the now flashing signs that had popped up on street corners showing him the direction of the shelters.

Half way to the nearest shelter he stopped and thought, 'Wait what about Asuka....she'll be okay right. She heard the alarm.'

Running a little faster now he sped up and was soon in front of the shelter when he stopped again. 'But wait what if she is somewhere where she can't get to a shelter. Ahh why the hell am I even worrying about her. Its not like she ever showed any emotion to me.' Not true said a small voice in the back of Shinji's head. 'She obviously was worried about your condition earlier.'

'No not possible for her. Worrying about someone else is beneath her.'

'Suit yourself then coward. But remember when you see her corpse, remember that you could have done something to prevent that from happening.'

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND," Shinji screamed out loud.

"Hey kid stop screaming about random shit and get your ass in here."

Shinji looked up to see a middle aged man with his hand held out beckoning Shinji to get into shelter. "C'mon kid get in here or your gonna die."

Shinji almost put out his hand to grasp the middle aged man's hand when a small voice echoed in his mind, 'Coward.' It was the voice of Asuka and suddenly Shinji saw her as a corpse with the left side of her face torn away leaving one of her eyes dangling out of its socket. 'Where the hell where you Shinji. Cowering like the rest of them while I was trying to protect all your sorry asses. Your nothing but a coward.'

'NO IT WASNT MY FAULT,' screamed Shinji in his head.

'Yes it was, you abandoned me. I thought you cared about me. I thought something developed between us during that rainy night.'

'HOW THE HELL, AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU IF ALL YOU EVER DO IS YELL AT ME AND PUNCH ME.'

'Wise up Shinji and find out what I'm really meaning.' The slowly rotting Asuka in Shinji's mind now put her hand up and slowly stroked the side of Shinji's face. Only now did Shinji see that the ends of some of her fingers were missing and the bones was perturbing out. 'No Asuka don't, I wont let this happen to you.'

'Then you better get your sorry ass up and find me.' With that the Asuka in Shinji's mind gave him a light slap to the face jerking Shinji back to the present.

Shinji blinked his eyes slightly and now looked at the person with his hand extended. His appearance had changed and now he looked like a demon beckoning Shinji to hell. "C'mon kid. It will be okay. You'll be safe with us."

Shinji now looked behind him and saw that everyone had glowing red eyes. "No," said Shinji firmly. "I have something that I have to take care of. I wont be a coward anymore. I wont listen to you demons anymore."

With that Shinji turned his back on the shelter and walked away.

* * *

Even though Shinji intended to look for Asuka he really had no idea where she was. Worse his noes which was still broken had started to bleed again and his vision was turning foggy again. 'God damn that Touji. If something happens to Asuka while I'm like this I will cut off his head,' he thought savagely.

Shinji suddenly caught his foot on the side walk and fell down hard on his chin. Shinji's teeth cut into his tongue and for a minute he thought that he had bitten his tongue off. Lying down on the side walk he spit and saw dark red in his saliva. 'Great by the time I find her I'll be a walking corpse.' Pushing himself off the ground he looked around. It appeared that he was the only person around still.

'Damn it I've got to find her.' Pushing himself off the ground he suddenly fell back down when the ground start to shake. "What the fu-" was all he managed to say when the streets of Tokyo-3 started to bend and fold away into the ground. Turning around Shinji saw that the many skyscrapers where now being brought underground. Stunned at was happening he turned his head in every direction watching as buildings disappeared around him.

"Shinji, hey Shinji, wake up, I SAID WAKE UP."

Shinji felt a sharp pain to his already aching head and looked around to see Misato standing their with an anxious look on her face. "Shinji c'mon I've got to take you back to Nerv headquarters."

Shinji starred blankly back at her.

"Shinji get up, you can't stay out here, its not safe."

He continued to stare back at her.

"You wanted to help Asuka right?"

This brought light to Shinji's eyes and he slowly stood up. "Asuka is at Nerv?"

Misato was afraid of how much she should tell Shinji. "Yes and I'll tell you about everything later, so lets go."

Shinji simply nodded and jumped into the passenger seat and Misato drove off.

* * *

Ten minutes later Shinji and Misato where on an elevator that was bringing them deep underground. Shinji thought that this was Nerv headquarters but never would have thought that it was directly under his feet. Finally getting control of his voice Shinji asked the question that had been nagging at him for the past ten minutes. 'Misato why are all the buildings of Tokyo-3 going underground? And why has an air raid siren been issued?"

Since Shinji had come this far Misato figured it would be best to answer some of his questions. "An Angel will be here soon and it will try to destroy us. Thats the best explanation I can give you right now, later I'll go into more detail later."

"OK and please tell me, what is Asuka doing here, is it dangerous."

Misato was silent for a minute before she said, "Lets just say that when everything is done she'll be glad that your here."

"What did you mean by an angel anyway."

"I told you I can't go into specifics right now, I'll tell you about it later."

Shinji was surprised that Misato had snapped at him and just sat back in his seat and waited. Whatever these angels were they were making Misato panic worse then Shinji had ever seen. "They must be what the air raid is about."

Several minutes later Shinji found himself being ushered into something that looked strangely like the great pyramids in Egypt.

"Misato wha-"

"Quiet Shinji, I promise I'll explain detail but right now I need to think. Why do I always get lost when its a situation like this."

"Well, you were always known as a bit of an air head during college," said a voice behind them.

Misato spun around and saw her old college friend and coworker Ritsuko Akagi standing their smirking at her. "Ritsuko thank God you found me you know I always get lost around here."

Ritsuko simply said, "Unit 02 launched moments ago to combat the angel."

Misato's smile fell at this bit of news. "OK I'll proceeded to the command center to take control of operations. She turned to leave but Ritsuko caught her hand, "Who's the kid," she said pointing to Shinji?

"Oh...well, this is the commanders son, Shinji Ikari."

Ritsuko's eyes widened at this. "I thought the commander told you that under no circumstances were you supposed to bring him to headquarters."

"I know but Asuk...well, I found him in the middle of the street while the buildings were retracting underground. I couldn't just leave him out in the open. Also he seemed rather distressed."

Ritsuko gave Misato a funny look before turning around and saying, "Fine but this is on your head and I have nothing to do with this. Just don't let anything happen to Unit 02."

Misato looked at the back of her friend for a few seconds before turning to Shinji, grabbing his wrist and steering him in the correct direction.

* * *

Shinji soon found himself in a wide room filled with computers and personal at each computer. In front of him was a massive screen that showed many different parts of Tokyo-3. He turned to ask Misato a question but saw that she was now issuing order to everyone

"What's the status of Unit 02?"

"Pilots heart rate is seventy heart beats per minute. Sync rate is at a steady sixty-three with no signs of dropping. Umbilical cable is still attached."

"What about the angel....what are we calling this one?"

"Sachiel ma'am."

"Very well, what is the status of Sachiel."

"Computers show that its currently off the coast of Tokyo-3."

"We are certain its an angel correct."

"Hai, pattern blue has been confirmed."

"OK, send up the rifles for Unit 02. Unit 02 will attack and destroy the enemy. What about Unit 00 by the way, has Rei recuperated enough yet to pilot it yet?"

"As for as I know no. Her right arm is still broken so she is not able to pilot it."

"Very well....put Unit 01 on standby."

Everyone looked at her. "Unit 01, I thought it was on an indefinite freeze?"

"If we have to we will unfreeze it."

"What about the pilot?"

Misato ignored the question and turned to the overhead screen. "Unit 02 I want you to engage the enemy away from Tokyo-3 attack it while its still off the coast."

"Hai," came a familiar voice over the speakers which Shinji recognized immediately.

"As-u-ka?"

Misato heard him and looked around to see him starring at the screen in horror. Unit 02 was currently displayed on the screen fighting the angel. Unit 02 was painting in a bright red color which was to Asuka's liking. In its hand was a rifle which was currently zoomed in on the slowly approaching angel.

"Asuka," said Shinji a little louder this time.

Misato turned quickly to face him but to late. Shinji had darted to the nearest computer and wrapped his arms around the neck of the person stationed their, and pulled him backwards out of his chair. Standing over the microphone panting slightly he yelled into the microphone, "ASUKA WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER."

Whether she heard him or not she gave no reply. Shinji was about to yell into again when he felt someone grab his wrist and drag him backwards before hitting him in the side of the face.

Shinji wasn't sure what number that made it today but he felt that his brain had finally popped loose and was floating freely in his head. Looking up slightly dazed he saw an angry Misato standing over him.

"What do you think your doing," she hissed at him. "Under no circumstances are we allowed to bother the pilots while their in combat. I took you here knowing what charges I would face. Asuka however begged me to find you and make sure you were all right. And now you go pulling a stunt like this and-"

Suddenly she was interrupted by one of the computer operators. "Unit 02's sync rate has dropped down to fifty-seven, fifty-six...still dropping."

Misato cursed. "Keep monitoring her sync rate and heart rate let me know instantly if anything happens. What's the status on Unit 01?"

"The commander has lifted the freeze around it and has instructed you to do as you see fit. Though he said that under no circumstances does he want Unit 01 destroyed."

"I don't think he will have to worry about that."

Grabbing Shinji who was now sobbing on the floor she said, "If you want to help Asuka then follow my instructions."

Shinji nodded and let her steer him towards his future.

* * *

Shinji was soon standing in front of Eva Unit 01. It looked like a demon more then anything that was supposed to defend mankind. On the way to Unit 01 Misato filled him in on everything from, the angels, Second Impact, the Eva's, and the purpose of Nerv. Shinji was now standing looking at Unit 01 digesting all the information that he had absorbed. Though throughout all Misato's information she left out everything about why Asuka was risking her life to protect him and everyone else. Shinji never would have guessed she would do that.

"Shinji," said a sudden booming voice.

Shinji looked up past Unit 01 to a window at the top of the dock to see his father starring down at him.

"Otou-san"

"Shinji, do you know what piloting this Eva will do to change your life."

"Hai....and I'm prepared to take that responsibility. I will....protect Asuka and mankind."

His father continued to stare down at him. "Just remember that mankind as a whole is more important than a single individual."

Shinji felt boiling rage at his father. 'So Asuka is just a simple object that lets you fulfill your objectives just like your using me now.'

* * *

Gendo Ikari now cut the link between his son and himself and turned away to see his second in command Kozo Fuyutsuki standing their frowning at him.

"Is it wise to let your son pilot Unit 01."

"Maybe not but with his help the Human Instrumentality Project will be sped up significantly. Its a risk I'm willing to take."

"What if _it _happens."

"I have prepared for this day considerably. If _it_ does happen then I have taken the correct measures to prevent _it_ from getting out of hand. Also I still need Unit 02, for a while, so I don't want to lose it yet."

Kozo looked back at his friend. It was amazing how he could show so little emotion even when talking to his son. "If you think its worth it then we'll take it"

* * *

Shinji was sitting inside the entry plug inside Unit 01. He had received a shock when the plug had started to fill up with a clear fluid. He had at first panicked but relaxed when Misato said that it was to help him breath easier. Shinji felt slightly nauseous thought. It smelled like death somehow.

"Shinji are you ready then."

"Ha-hai."

"Okay Asuka's Eva has just lost its umbilical cable so she has only five minutes left of energy left. We're sending you up elevator number five. It will put you closest to her position. When you get to the surface provide covering fire her while she dispatches the angel. Since you don't have any sync training this is as much as we expect of you."

"Hai."

"Okay then release primary and secondary locks numbers one through thirteen. Have Eva Unit 01 proceeded to elevator number five."

Shinji felt his Eva Unit being slowly moved forward on tracks that he couldn't see from where he was.

"What is Eva Unit 01's pilot sync rate," asked Misato.

"Barely above the minimum forty-seven."

"Well, for a first time, its amazing. OK Eva Unit 01 at launch elevator. Release and close elevator shafts two, four, and seven. Propulsion system is all green. Sending Unit 01 to surface...now."

Shinji was immediately jerked back into his seat as he felt himself rocketing up to the surface. 'Asuka please be okay,' he thought as he saw day light above him.

* * *

When Shinji first broke through to the surface he saw that Asuka and Unit 02 were being cornered against a building and was being hit repetitively.

"Damn it," yelled Shinji. "How the fuck do I even move this thing."

"Calm down Shinji," came Misato's voice. "Since the LCL fluid helps connect you to the Eva's mind all you have to do is think about moving and it will move. But you have to be concentrating really hard."

"Okay," said Shinji. He tried focusing on moving but an image of a slowly rotting Asuka kept on popping in his mind. 'No I promised her that I would help. I won't let that happen."

* * *

Misato was looking worriedly at the screen. "Unit 01 sync rate below minimum...what?"

Misato jerked over to the sound of the voice. "What?"

"Anomaly detected in the entry plug. Eva Unit 01 is rejecting the pilots thoughts."

"Quick eject the entry plug, protect the pilot."

"Unable to, its rejecting the signature. Sync rate is dropping radically Eva Unit 01 has rejected the pilot and is shutting down. Life signs are dropping also. Unable to get a direct reading inside of Unit 01. Plug suit is not showing any vital signs."

Misato was standing horrified at Eva Unit 01. This was why no one was able to pilot it. It always rejected the pilot and killed it.

* * *

Inside the entry plug Shinji was gasping for breath. He had lost consciousness several times already but was still thinking over and over, 'move...move..move...move.'

"GOD DAMN IT,' he screamed out loud. "I'VE GOT TO HELP ASUKA. DAMN YOU PILE OF SHIT MOVE...MOVE...move...mov-"

Shinji was slowly blacking out when he heard a voice in his head. 'So you want to help the person important to you.'

"Hai," he said weakly.

'Well I must say that out of all the pilots that have ever tried to sync with me you are easily the most interesting out of all of them. Your willpower is something to marvel at.....very well I authorize you as the pilot of me Unit 01. From this day forth anybody else who tries to pilot me shall die upon entering this plug."

Shinji just smiled slightly and felt himself wake up. A faint green light was flashing on and off inside of the entry plug. It simply said Shinji Ikari.

Suddenly Shinji felt white hot needles entering his skin. Looking down he saw that wires were digging into his skin and merging with his nerves. "What...are...you doing Unit 01."

'This is the only way to truly sync with me. With this I'm able to read your thought easier. Don't worry about the lose of blood. Its only temporary.'

Now that Shinji looked he saw that a pool of blood was slowly building up around him, and that the LCL fluid was steadily turning into his own blood. 'Whatever,' he thought. 'As long as I save Asuka before I pass out I don't care.'

'Thats what I like to hear,' said Eva Unit 01. 'Though if you don't mind its been a while since I was let loose like this so I'd like to have a little fun.'

'What are you-' but then Shinji felt two hot wires pierce his temples and he knew no more.

* * *

Shinji woke up to hear the sound of voices around him.

"Its amazing that he survived with all the blood he lost."

"Even more amazing that Tokyo-3 isn't destroyed thanks to Unit 01 going berserk."

"Tell me what happened when you opened the entry plug again Misato?"

"Shinji was just floating their with his plug suit on. All the controls had disappeared and he had those weird wires connected all along his body. What was even more disturbing was that the LCL fluid had mixed with his blood."

"Doctor Akagi is that even possible?"

"Theoretically yes, though its never been proven before."

Shinji slowly opened his eyes and saw a crowd of people around him.

"Well, at least the angel was dispatched."

"Yes and thankfully Asuka had enough energy to disconnect Unit 01's umbilical cable or Unit 01 would still be rampaging around Tokyo-3."

Shinji opened his eyes wide at the mention of Asuka's named and looked back at everyone that was crowded around his bed, most of them which he had never seen before.

"What, where am I," he asked?

"Nerv hospital," replied Misato.

"What...how...I."

"Calm down Shinji, everything is okay. The angel was defeated."

Suddenly Shinji sat bolt upright which surprised everyone. "What happened to Asuka, where is she."

"Right here baka."

Shinji looked around and saw Misato and Ritsuko move out of the way as Asuka walked up to Shinji's bed.

Misato motioned to Ritusko and everyone else to let the two be alone, and they left the room leaving the two teens to sort things out.

With everyone gone Asuka sat down on the edge of Shinji's bed and looked out the window. Shinji meanwhile sat back down and was somehow comforted that she was next to him.

"Why did you do that," asked Asuka breaking the silence.

"Err do what," replied Shinji.

Asuka turned to face him, took a deep breath and said, "Why did you risk your life, to the point of bleeding to death to help me."

Shinji didn't even need to think about. "Well, this may sound stupid to you...and I don't care what you think but, even though we argue a lot and don't seem to get along...you're the first person that I've been able to talk to easily. I guess you could say that your my first friend."

"You mean you've never had friends before me?"

"No, I've always been on the move my entire life. My father sent me from place to place so I never got to know people. Eventually I just shut everyone out around me since I knew that I would only be leaving eventually."

"Is that why you seem to hate your father so much?"

"Yes,"....'That and the fact that he abandoned me and let my mother die,' though Shinji thought this to himself.

Asuka was furious for some reason at Shinji. "You baka, I can take care of myself."

"I know its just-" Shinji didn't want to tell her about the vision he had of her rotting corpse.

"Just what?"

"Nothing, forget about it."

They both sat in silence for a while, then Asuka asked the next question. "What happened to you anyway...back their inside Eva Unit 01. It went berserk and tried to destroy everything in sight, including me....you weren't controlling it were you?"

"No, Asuka I could never harm you. I don't remember much after I blacked out, but the Eva said that it would protect you if I let it have a little fun"

"So you didn't care what happened to Tokyo-3, as long as I was safe you were happy?"

"Hai, something like."

"You baka, I'm not worth it."

"Sorry...I just didn't want to lose you," suddenly his eyes narrowed. "And don't say that your not worth it, because you are," her words had brought back what his father had said about one individual compared to humanity.

"You honestly care that much about me," asked Asuka?

"Yes I do....well when your like this at least."

"Meaning what exactly," Asuka snapped back.

Shinji was entering dangerous water but plunged ahead stubbornly, "Just that when your angry and moody your not that much fun to be around."

"What was that you baka. If you weren't so badly injured I'd give a good whack on the head...but instead I'll do this. Slowly reaching around Shinji's neck she brought him into a small one armed hug. "Thanks for worrying about me....though if you ever say I'm not fun to be around when I'm angry I guarantee that you'll make up in the middle of the night breathing through your mouth."

"You know its not very threatening when you're hugging me and telling me that at the same time."

Asuka broke apart from him now and gave him a weird look before she started laughing, and Shinji joined in.

When Asuka stopped laughing the first thing she said was, "You need to get to sleep now. Ritsuko says that you need to spend two days here until you recover. You lost a lot of blood and it wouldn't be good for you to pass out while at Misato's apartment."

"Yeah your probably right."

They both looked at each other for a while before Asuka said, "Well I'll check up on you after I get back from school I guess."

"M'kay see you then."

With that Asuka walked out of the hospital and Shinji leaned back to go to sleep but heard a ear splitting racket when Asuka left.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING. WHERE YOU JUST LISTENING INTO OUR ENTIRE CONVERSATION."

Shinji had to suppress a laugh as he rolled over, 'Typical Asuka,' he thought before he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Visions

**OK well, against me better judgement I am posting chapter 3. This is....I don't know how to phrase it other than I'm amazed at how this chapter ended up. Lets just say that I hit off some of the more psychological aspects with this one and it in turn developed into the story which I intend on writing now. Funny how that works with me. I never find out how the story is going until I write the first few chapters. Anyway enough of my rambling...**

* * *

Gendo Ikari was looking down at the manila envelope on his desk. "Is this the data that you received from the first fight between the third angel and the pilot of Eva Unit 01?"

"Hai," replied Ritsuko who was standing in front of the commanders desk.

"And," asked Gendo in a evened voice? "What have you found."

"Are you asking to give me a summary of that report."

Gendo nodded his head and waited for a reply.

Taking a deep breath Ritsuko started talking. "It seems that at first Eva Unit 01 rejected Shinji's synchronization. Though for some reason the Eva allowed him to pilot it after Shinji became upset about something."

"Does this pertain to Pilot 02."

"Hai, I believe so. Shinji was screaming something about Asuka and from what I have determined the Eva saw how much willpower Shinji possessed and allowed him to pilot it."

"Is he still usable as a pilot?"

"I can't confirm that without sync tests, commander."

Gendo continued to look at her evenly waiting for her to continue.

"Now, about Eva Unit 01's reaction. It seems that something happened inside of the entry plug between Shinji and the Eva. This is confirmed by Misato Katsuragi's testimony of what she discovered when the entry plug was removed and the LCL fluid was removed."

"Meaning?"

"What were originally thought to be metallic wires are the Eva's nerves. Apparently they connected directly with Shinji's nervous system so as to sync with him better. According to analysis when they synced the ratio was well above Asuka's highest ratio. It also seems that Eva Unit 01 will reject anybody that enters the entry plug and is not Shinji. We had a scientist exam the inside of the entry plug while it was inserted into the Eva. Apparently he suffered from a high level of contamination."

"Is that all?"

"One last thing, sir. I don't know why but when Shinji's blood mixed with the LCL fluid it omitted a reaction similar to the same pattern that an angel gives off."

"Pattern blue?"

"Hai sir. Whatever changed with the LCL fluid made the AT field of the Eva stronger for a brief period."

Gendo leaned back in his chair now with his hands in his lap.

"Very well then Ritsuko. If that is all you may go."

"Hai, commander Ikari."

When Ritsuko left Gendo picked up the manila file and leafed through it before pausing on a picture of his son. "Maybe I should have never brought him to Tokyo-3 in the first place."

"And yet thanks to him we now are able to use Eva Unit 01 to its full potential," said Kozo as he stepped out of the shadows. "Though having him around still proves to be a risk."

"He was always a risk but we took it and see what happened."

"Yes but Ritsako's data didn't give you anything that you didn't know already."

Gendo frowned and looked down at the envelope. "Maybe, but the information about Shinji and Pilot 02 could prove to be useful."

"Meaning," asked Kozo with a raised eyebrow.

Gendo smirked, "He's got a reason to pilot Eva Unit 01 as long as Pilot 02 is still working with Nerv."

* * *

Shinji was released from the hospital two days later in a full recovery. Misato threw a party for him in his return. Though it consisted of Misato, Ritsuko, and a rather reluctant Asuka.

"Ah why do I have to celebrate this. Its so stupid. Its the baka's own fault for ending up like that in the first place."

Misato paused in the middle of chugging a can of beer. "Asuka the least you could be is somewhat relieved he's at least alive."

Shinji sighed and said, "Really Misato I don't care that much whether she's glad I'm here or not."

Asuka threw Shinji a scowl and stood up and walked toward her door and slammed it shut.

Ritsuko sighed and turned to Misato, "I heard that Kaji has been reassigned here."

Misato responded by spitting out her beer spraying Shinji in the face. "WHAT, THAT JERK IS STATIONED HERE."

"Hai," said Ritsuko calmly.

"Who's Kaji," asked Shinji.

Misato was about to open her mouth and say he was a stuck up jerk and a pervert when Ritsuko answered for her, "He's Misato's ex boyfriend."

Shinji was rather shocked at that and looked to see Misato steadily turning red in the face. "As if I need reminding that a dated that damn jerk." Misato turned her gaze to Shinji, "How is school going for you now?"

Shinji shrugged and said, "Little different then normal. Except all the guys in the class hate me."

"Why's that?"

"Because I live with Asuka, their jealous. Heh I'd like to see them try living with her for a day and survive."

"I heard that you asshole," came a voice through a closed door.

Shinji sighed and looked at his watch. "Uh I just got back and its time for school already."

"Well, here then," said Misato as she tossed Shinji a lunch.

Shinji tried not to look disgusted and gave her a weak smile, "Uh thanks Misato."

"No problem, theirs one for Asuka too."

Shinji could hardly suppress a groan.

"Oh and Shinji I promised you that I would take you shopping for new clothes but I won't be back till late tonight. So I want Asuka to take you instead."

"WHAT THE FUCK," came a loud yell from another room.

Asuka immediately stormed out of her room and planted both hands on the table. "What the fuck do you mean I'm supposed to take this baka out shopping," she said this while pointing at Shinji. "Thats something that a mother should do."

"Think of this as a time to get to know each other a little better so you wont be arguing all the time because to tell you the truth I'm getting annoyed with it."

"If this baka wasn't such an idiot and a sociopath maybe I could get along with him. But he's had about as much social interaction between two humans beings as the teachers pet, First Child."

Misato sighed, "This is exactly what I mean. Your constant bickering is enough to drive anyone crazy."

"Hell no I'm not doing this," said Asuka while folding her arm.

"Then how bout this. I'm _ordering_ you to take Shinji shopping."

"And if I refuse."

"Then we take you off Unit 02."

Asuka flinched at that. "Ah damn you Misato. Fine I'll take the damn baka downtown later."

Asuka grabbed Shinji by the collar then and dragged him off to school.

"Will those to ever get along," mused Ritsuko?

"Not in this lifetime," said Misato.

* * *

School had become something of a hell for Shinji. All the guys in the class still hated him and were still jealous that he and Asuka walked to school together every morning. Though he wasn't sure why all the girls hated him also. Maybe it had something to do with them being jealous of Asuka.

"Hey," said Asuka as they walked into class. "You did pack our own lunches and not the ones that Misato gave you."

"Hai," said Shinji as he handed her hers.

She took it without another look at him and sat down at her desk. Shinji sighed and followed her and sat in his desk behind her.

"Look how smug that bastard is about sitting close to Asuka."

Shinji heard this and moved his eyes slightly to the left to see the boys who's names he didn't know were talking about him.

Immediately a rush of images hit him pertaining to the boy. Shinji found himself watching the boy walking into some magazine store and browsing some of the more explicit ones. Next second he was watching the person showering. What disgusted Shinji the most he was masturbating and screaming Asuka's name at the same time. 'What the fuck is this,' thought Shinji. 'Why am I thinking this....or I'm I somehow seeing what this guy does.'

Reality came back and Shinji found himself starring at the blackboard which the teacher had started scribbling on.

'C'mon to think of it,' thought Shinji. 'It seems....familiar somehow.' Then he thought of the corpse like Asuka in his mind, her right eyeball running free of its socket. How the ends of her fingers looked like they had been chewed off, leaving the bone.

'NOOOO THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.'

'But it will unless you stop it,' said Asuka.

'GOD DAMNIT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS.'

"Hey baka." Shinji felt something rather hard slap him across the side of his face. He was pulled out of the nightmare to see Asuka frowning at him. "What," he said rather snappishly. Asuka simply pointed to the front of the room.

"Shinji Ikari are you here."

"Ha-hai," Shinji felt his voice working overtime just to get the words out.

The teacher frowned at him and went back to his lecture.

* * *

During lunch Shinji was leaning against the railing on the school roof thinking of what had happened to him during the morning. It seemed so realistic, whatever it was, and disturbing. The thing about Asuka still scared him though. He had thought that he had prevented it from happening but it looked like she could still die.

'Damn it, what is happening to me. Am I some kind of psychic.' Really he wouldn't have put it past his own father to experiment on his newborn body.

Suddenly he heard the door slamming open and saw that Asuka was striding over to him with a look of pure fury on her face. 'Great,' thought Shinji. 'What did I do this time?'

As she got closer he closed his eyes waiting for the hit to come, but it never did. Instead Asuka leaned up against the railing and threw her arms over the side. With that done she opened her mouth and screamed at the top of her voice. The sound echoed all across the academy grounds and Shinji had to cover his ears since she was next to him.

"What the hell was that about," asked Shinji?

Asuka threw him a scowl before saying, "This school is a pain in the ass. I can think of a hundred things I could be doing right now. Plus all these perverted guys are starting to get on my nerves. A few actually tried to grope me."

Shinji had to suppress a laugh, "So what happened to them?"

"One of them has his fingers shoved up the drinking fountain faucet. While the other one actually tried to ambush me in the girls bathroom. He's got his head stuck half way down a toilet now."

Shinji did laugh this time. It was a relief to have her anger directed at someone else for a change.

"So what was wrong with you earlier this morning?"

Shinji's smile dropped when he heard her question. "Nothing," he said simply.

"Don't give my that crap. You were starring off into nothing. What are you some kind psychopath."

Shinji didn't want to have to listen to her bitching at a time like this and ignored her

Then the two of them heard voices coming up the stairs.

"So you got the pictures right?"

"Yeah she was getting a drink at the fountain and I stuck my camera under her skirt a little and got a shot of it."

"And...what color."

"White unfortunately."

"Even so half the guys in the school will want a copy of it. We should sell it for five dollars a picture....what do you think."

"Sounds fair enough, though we'll want to keep this low. If she finds out what were doing she'll kill us. I've heard she messed some guys up pretty bad for trying to grope her."

"But its not like we'll be walking down the hallways with signs saying, COME GET A PICTURE OF ASUKA'S UNDERWEAR FIVE DOLLARS A PICTURE."

"No I guess not."

The two of them continued laughing as they walked up the stairs to the roof. When they got over the last landing they froze when they saw Asuka and Shinji starring back at them. Shinji seemed somewhat amused, knowing what was gonna happen. Asuka however was starring back at Kensuke and Touji with a death grin on her face.

Kensuke realized only to late that any hope of making money was just destroyed.

"Oh boys," said Asuka sweetly. "I think you have something that I need to look at."

Kensuke and Touji turned around to make a run for it but Asuka grabbed the back of their shirts and held onto them tight.

"So were is it," she asked again in that sweet honey voice. It sent a chill down Shinji's spine. He hoped to never piss her off enough to make her use that voice.

Kensuke whimpered and held up the camera.

Asuka took it without question, and took out the tape. She tossed it at Shinji who caught it rather surprised that she would let him hold it. Trying not to think about what was on it Shinji pocketed it for now.

Asuka now looked at the two of them nastily. "Right you two know what you've done and your reward is this."

She kicked both of them in the balls sending them to their knees. Shinji had to turn away so as not to here the low grunting. It was something he would rather not experience. Just watching it was bad enough.

Asuka now walked over to Shinji and held out her hand. He obediently took the tape out of his pocket and handed it to her. She put it back in and walked over to the railing of the school and dropped the camera off the school roof where it fell five stories and shattered upon contact with the ground. Shinji looked over and saw that the tape had broken apart and tape reel was strewn over the ground.

He suddenly felt Asuka grab his arm and said, "Fuck this. I'm done with school for today. Lets go home."

Shinji wasn't able to do anything but nod.

* * *

Being back home though was boring. Asuka immediately grabbed a soda and a bag of chips and sat down to watch T.V. for the rest of the day. Shinji sat with her for a while but eventually got annoyed with trying to understand what she was watching, it was in German.

So Shinji went to his room and flopped down on his futon and tried to take a nap, but every time he closed his eyes that unbidden image of a rotting Asuka floated into his mind again. It was starting to get on his nerves now. How was he supposed to know when to stop her from dying? Its not like he could follow her everywhere she went, and she certainly wouldn't allow it anyway

In his feigned sleep he heard somebody open the door. Knowing it was Asuka he pretended to ignore her but was unable to when she kicked him in the side.

"Get up baka, were going out."

Shinji rolled over and was surprised to see Asuka standing their fully dressed. She was wearing a tight, red, sleeveless shirt that failed to hide a slight cleavage, and a dark tight blue pair of jeans. Shinji also saw that she had sun glasses on her head and that she was also wearing sandals.

"C'mon baka, Misato wanted me to take you shopping so thats what I'm gonna do. Anything is better then just sitting on the couch and getting fat. Besides I need some new clothes too so thats the only reason that I'm doing this," she added.

Shinji was surprised but nodded and turned to the bathroom to start changing.

Several minutes later Shinji came out wearing blue jeans with a white short sleeve shirt, his favorite.

Asuka looked him up and down, sighed and said, 'You really have no sense of fashion do you."

Shinji raised and eyebrow and walked past her to put his shoes on.

'Coward,' thought Asuka before she followed him out the door.

* * *

They were in a part of Tokyo-3 which Shinji had hardly ever walked in. Asuka seemed to know her way around though fairly well.

Soon though Shinji was wishing he hadn't let her drag him out there. The first store she dragged him into was nothing women's undergarments. Shinji had a feeling that Asuka was making him nervous on purpose. While she browsed around Shinji tried not to focus on one thing to long. He was starting to sweat and he saw that several other girls were looking at him and giggling rather loudly. Either Asuka saw this or not she didn't say.

Asuka turned around then and held up a red bra. Showing it to Shinji who was determinedly looking the other way she said, "Well, what do you think baka. I think it would go rather well with my hair, and of course I'll have to buy matching underwear to go with it."

"Do you want my honest opinion," said Shinji who now had his back to her.

"That is why I'm asking you, baka."

Shinji took a deep breath hoping that he wouldn't regret his words and said, "That looks like something that a stripper would wear."

Asuka was rather shocked that he had the nerve to say that. Though she was also glad that for once he had spoken his mind. In truth she had showed him it just to see what he would say. She hadn't really considered buying it in the first place. Smirking at his back she said, "Yeah I guess your right."

Shinji was surprised that she actually valued his opinion. "So are we done here?"

"Course not. I've got something that I seriously want to look at."

Asuka now grabbed Shinji's arm and steered him over to the swimsuit part of the store. For the next half an hour Asuka sorted through many different choices asking Shinji's opinion on some of them. Shinji who thought of how she would look every time she held a pair up simply shrugged and shook his head.

"A lot of help your being," said Asuka.

"Is this something that most guys are supposed to know about?"

Asuka ignored him and went to the changing room to try on what she just picked out.

Shinji was leaning against the wall when Asuka step up to him and said, "Well, what do you think."

Shinji had to control his hormones correctly for this one. She had just put on a two piece red bathing suit that had a white strip going along the middle of the top. Shinji blinked and turned away so that he wouldn't be starring so much.

"Ah fuck you Shinji, your no help." Asuka turned around to go back in and change out of it when Shinji spoke up, "I think you should get that."

Asuka turned around to see him determinedly looking the other way. "Your just saying that so we can leave, aren't you."

Shinji didn't want to let up on how good he thought it looked on her. He was unwilling starting to get stiff and didn't want her to notice. "No, I think...that the red goes well with your hair."

Asuka raised an eyebrow at him and said, "Hmph whether you think it looks good or not I was planning on buying it anyway." Asuka walked past him but paused and smirked, "By the way try not to be so noticeable next time. I can tell you were starring at my chest."

She walked past him to change into her normal clothes leaving him to gape back at her. 'Damn her,' he thought. 'She just loves to aggravate me.'

* * *

Predictably Shinji was stuck carrying the stuff that she had picked out. Now Asuka was looking around at the shops trying to decide what place would be best to get Shinji some new clothes.

Shinji was getting bored though and didn't particularly care whether he got new clothes or not. It's not like anyone was going to notice a change if he did dress a little differently.

"Hey, Asuka."

"Hmm."

"Lets skip this. I don't care whether I get new clothes or not."

"Misato ordered me to get you some, so I don't have a choice."

"But I'm saying that I don't care. It was bad enough being stuck in that...last store."

Asuka turned to him now and a grin appeared on her face. "Good because I wasn't taking this seriously anyway. I just wanted you with me so that I didn't have to carry my bags. Though make sure you tell Misato that I took you but you changed your mind. I don't want to get chewed out by her."

"Hai, I will."

"Good, then lets go home. My feet are getting sore from all this walking anyway."

* * *

Soon the sun had started to set and rush hour was just starting. Shinji was walking a few paces behind Asuka and for some reason couldn't shake a worried feeling that he had all the sudden. 'What is this,' he thought as he looked around at the traffic rushing by him. 'Why do I have a sickening feeling as though something is going to happ-'

* * *

Shinji felt reality slip away from him. He was now above the street that he had just been walking on and looking down at the cars and pedestrians walking along. 'Why does this seem so...familiar? I don't think I've ever been to this side of Tokyo-3 before. Yet I can't shake this feeling that something is going to happen.'

At his thoughts he saw somebody stumble into the road. Next second the person was hit in the side from an oncoming truck and was dragged under. Even though Shinji couldn't see what was happening from his vantage point he could see that it was a gruesome scene. The person had been spit back out from under the truck and was now lying helpless in the road. Blood was seeping out onto the road where the person laid and Shinji could see unmistakable signs of body tissue. Even though he told himself it was all a dream he still felt like puking.

"Do you see what has happened," said a quite voice behind him.

He turned around in mid air to see the Asuka from his dreams. Even though she was still missing half her face she was at least standing up now and not laying in a pool of her own blood.

"What are you doing here," Shinji asked?

"Simple, watching what just occurred."

"What do you mea-"

Next second Shinji found himself next to the body of the person who had just been dragged under the car. Shinji now felt his lungs collapse inside of him. Asuka was lying face up on the pavement with a blank, dead look in her eyes. Just like the one standing next to him this one had the side of her face torn off and an eye ball was hanging loosely over the side. Shinji now guessed what had happened to her fingers and saw that the skin had been shredded off thanks to the tires of the car.

Shinji continued to stare back into the eyes of the now dead Asuka. It was amazing how red her hair was now with half her skull missing. Shinji now saw that his physical self had rushed over, horror struck and was now weeping over her lifeless body.

"Is this what you want," asked the Asuka next to him.

Shinji turned with a saddened look on his face. Looking back down at the corpse before him and said, "This is what will happen if I don't save her."

The Asuka next to him nodded.

Shinji felt like he was about to break down from the sheer stress of what was happening to him. "What are these...these, visions? Why is this happening to me of all people?"

"I can't answer that," said Asuka. "I'm merely here to help you along in the beginning. What you decide to do afterward is your decision. Though I will say this. Your decision affects the lives of people around you. Whether this is a gift or a curse is entirely up to you. You can simply ignore what can happen, or what will happen."

"Are you suggesting that I'm able to see the future."

"That seems to be the case. I don't know much about it myself. Though it seems that you are able to see the future of people who are close to you. You can't look into any random person's future and alter it to your desire."

Shinji was silent for a while before he sat down on the curb. Putting his hand up to his face he touched it gently and then lowered it to the now dead Asuka. "Is this what can happen or what will happen if I don't stop it."

"Altering the future can be both dangerous for the person altering it and the person that is being altered by it. It is entirely up to you whether you do it or not."

"What is your suggestion?"

"It doesn't matter to me either way. I have already died thanks to you. But it was planned that way also. This is simply an alternate reality that in which you chose to ignore the visions and continue on with your life. I'll admit that the end result wasn't pretty. You blamed yourself for killing me and in turn killed yourself. Humans can be rather pathetic."

Shinji now looked up at the Asuka before him and frowned, "Who are you really."

"Hmm well your not as dumb as you look. No I'm not Asuka. I'm simply taking her form so its easier to speak with you. She will have gone on by now."

Shinji frowned. He had so many things that he wanted to ask this pseudo Asuka but thought it was time to return to his own place.

"How do I get back."

The fake Asuka smirked and said, "However you want to."

* * *

All this happened in the span of seconds and Shinji continued to walk behind Asuka. 'That was interesting, though I'll save my worries later I need to decide what I want to do.' Though did he really have to think about that. Sure Asuka could be a complete pain to be around when she was in a bitchy mood. But Shinji still liked to be around her. 'I feel so stupid about having second thoughts about this, fuck I'm a coward.'

"Hey Shinji come on lets cross here."

Shinji looked around at where she was pointing. She was pointing to the other side of the street.

"C'mon baka Shinji if we cross here we can skip the next intersection. Besides," she said looking up and down the road, "their aren't any cars coming so this is the perfect chance."

"Asuka, wait we shouldn't jaywalk."

"Oh calm yourself. Your acting like the First Child." Asuka took a step off the curve and down onto the pavement. However the top of her sandal caught the edge of the curve and she stumbled forward before falling down to her knees. She was now in the lane of traffic closest to the curve.

"FUCK, NO ASUKA," Shinji screamed.

To Shinji's right he heard the roar of an engine. Turning around for a split second he saw a bright blue truck come skidding around the corner of the side street and pull onto the main street.

'GOD FUCKING DAMNIT,' screamed Shinji in his head.

Darting off the sidewalk with the eyes of every bystander on him he dove to Asuka as the truck was getting closer.

"ASUKA GOD DAMNIT GET UP," yelled Shinji at her as he grabbed her arm. Asuka however had frozen when she saw the truck, engine blaring, coming to great her.

"FUCK IT," yelled Shinji. Grabbing her arm he pulled her as hard as he could and practically picked her up, holding onto one of her arms. Summoning strength that he didn't know he had he jumped from the middle of the lane and landed haphazardly onto the edge of the curve. He heard the truck whiz by but knew that if he fell backwards with him holding her the way he was she could likely suffer a serious concussion, or worse.

Instead he forced himself to lean forward and felt his foot slip off the edge of the side walk and crashed down hard on the side of his face. Almost immediately he heard a low thump as Asuka fell on top of him also.

Shinji felt blood building up inside of his mouth but ignored it. He had something else he had to worry about. Pushing himself up he found Asuka shaking uncontrollably on his chest.

"Asuka are you-"

But then he was lost for words as she broke down crying on his chest. Mouth wide open in surprise Shinji didn't know what to say in a situation like this. "Asuka," he swallowed, "its okay, everything is fine."

She shook her head and continued to cry even harder. Shinji now looked up and saw many worried faces looking back at him and her.

"Good God that was a fright, are you okay kid," said an elderly gentlemen.

Shinji nodded and looked back at Asuka who he realized now had pushed herself off his chest and was starring wide eyed at everyone gathered their.

"No....no...," she whispered.

Shinji was worried, "Asuka what are you?" But then he froze when she screamed out loud.

"ASUKA!"

She had stood up quickly and had taken off down the sidewalk.

"ASUKA WAIT."

Asuka however continued to sprint as fast as she could. 'No...No...NO! I've been poisoned. I let people see my weakness. I can't let them know how weak I truly am. Least of all Shinji. How could I have used him as a sponge to cry my eyes out. I feel dirty. WHY AM I STILL ALIVE.'

'Because he saved you,' said a small voice in her head.

'I didn't ask him to,' she retorted.

'Yet he did anyway.'

'NO I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY ELSE.'

'Could you have saved yourself if you weren't so afraid.'

'I would rather die then rely on anybody. Least of all that coward.'

'Yet he wasn't a coward. He risked his own life to save you.'

'STOP IT. GET OUT OF MY MIND.'

* * *

Soon Shinji had lost sight of Asuka and was leaning against a light post breath heavily. While he had ran he discovered that several teeth had been knocked loose and that they were hanging by little more than his gums. The blood was still flowing freely in his mouth and he had to spit every few seconds to keeping the saltiness out of his mouth.

'Damn it Asuka. Why were you so afraid all the sudden?'

Shinji soon willed himself to move off of the light post and continued running back to Misato's apartment where he was sure Asuka had gone.

* * *

When Shinji opened the door he was glad to notice that her shoes were at least laying there. Though it looked as though she had thrown them across the floor when she had come in.

He took his own shoes off and walked slowly inside. "Asuka," he said quietly.

He didn't get a response back and walked inside a little further. Turning toward her door he knocked softly. "Asuka...are you there."

Again he didn't get an answer. Feeling a little worried he opened the door a little and peeked his head in. "Asuka?"

He was greeted with something being thrown at him. Though it missed his head it shattered close to it and Shinji felt something sharp scrape the side of his face. He pulled back his head quickly and shut the door as something else shattered against it. 'Damn, why the fuck is she acting like this. I just saved her life didn't I. She could at least show a little gratitude.'

Shinji now walked away but stop dead in his tracks when a fleeting image of Asuka choking herself with some twine appeared in his mind.

"Its your fault Shinji, I can't let anyone know how weak I am. Least of all you."

Without thinking he turned around and flung open the door to her room. Ignoring the fact that something else was aimed at his head he darted toward where she was, curled up in a corner with something that looked like a stuffed bear in her hands.

"NO DON'T COME NEAR ME," she shrieked as she tried to push herself farther back into the corner

Shinji ignored her and looked at her carefully, then swore in his mind. He remembered what the fake Asuka had said about not relying to much on the visions. Sometimes they were only things that could happen, not things that would happen. Relaxing slightly he let out a deep breath and looked at her more closely. It seemed that she had gotten back slightly ahead of him. Her hair was a greasy mess from her sweat and it hung in great bunches around her face. She still had the red shirt and dark blue jeans on, though he saw that certain parts had stains on them.

She still seemed nervous and had an afraid look in her eyes. Shinji wanted to calm her down, to prevent himself from seeing any more horrendous images appearing in his mind. Instead he sat down a few feet in front of her. This was the first time that he had been in her room and he looked around now at it. It was much cleaner than his and he saw that many of the things that she had came from Germany. She had hung several posters on her walls depicting famous artists. Shinji didn't recognized any of them though, he was more into the classics.

Turning his gaze back to her he saw that she had calmed down slightly but was now giving him a death glare. Truthfully Shinji preferred the hard ass Asuka instead of the frightened one. It didn't suit her.

Feeling that she was doing better he said quietly, "Asuka...are you okay?"

She inhaled deeply and grabbed the nearest pillow and flung it at Shinji's face. Shinji didn't even care. The fact that she had reacted was all that he cared for. "Asuk-"

But now she tackled him to the floor and was now beating her fists repeatedly on his chest. "Damn you Shinji. Damn you, damn you damn you."

Shinji continued to look up at her ceiling while she continued to pound his chest. Soon the punches became less frequent and with less power. Then she had seised hitting him and had pushed herself off of him and moved back to the corner.

Shinji continue to stare at the wall waiting for her to reply. "Why did you do that?"

Shinji thought this was the stupidest question in the world. What was he supposed to, just stand there in shock as she died? He didn't think he could take seeing her die for a second time.

"Do you honestly think that I could have watched that happen."

"But...I always seem to get on your nerves. Why would you risk yourself to protect someone like me?"

Shinji wasn't about to tell her about his visions. He didn't need her thinking that he was some sort of freak. "Do I need a reason. If I was to stand their and watch it would have been the same as killing you myself. I was able to save you and I took that."

"But I didn't want you to," she almost yelled. "I feel so disgusting....like vomiting. I was held by you GOD DAMNIT. I CRIED INTO YOUR CHEST. I WAS WEAK!"

"Is that what this is about? You felt weak. Asuka your one of the strongest people I know. Being able to pilot something like the Eva's is an inhuman task. When I piloted it...for that time, I felt like I was losing my mind. It was so disgusting floating in that damn liquid that smells so much like blood. I kept willing myself not to vomit every time I felt the bile coming up my throat. And you've been doing this full time, how could you call yourself weak. If anything I'm the weak one."

Asuka was silent. Shinji hadn't talked about his experience inside the Eva since he had been released from the hospital. It was always something that she and Misato knew that he would never talk about freely. "Shinji...do you plan on ever piloting Eva again."

Shinji didn't even have to think of that. "No, I can't, not for anything. I don't want to put myself in something as...demonic I guess, ever again."

"But the Eva's are supposed to be used to save mankind from the Angels."

"Yet what are the Angels. Why do they attack us? What have we done wrong."

Asuka was silent. It was something she never worried about. Though now that he brought it up she wondered also what the purpose of them could be. She knew about the possibilities of Third Impact and that the Angels were trying to initiate it.

Now though she saw that Shinji had moved closer to her and was bending over her legs. Immediately she became defensive and said, "What the fuck are you doing. You better not being try to take a peek up my pant legs, because if you are I'l-"

"Oh shut it Asuka," said Shinji forcefully.

Asuka did, though it was because of her surprise. She had hardly heard Shinji snap back at her. Now though she asked in a more polite voice, "What are you doing then baka?"

"You probably never realized it, but when you fell you scraped your knees." Shinji was looking at her pant legs now and saw that where the knees were was a little damp.

"Asuka can I have you roll up your pant legs to your knees?"

She threw him a scowl but complied. "You better not try anything suspicious are you'll be on your stomach gasping for air."

Shinji ignored her comment and looked down at her knees. The blood had dried in certain areas but was still flowing slightly. "We'll have to staunch this and wrap it up with something."

"Don't you mean I," said Asuka standing up. "I'm not letting you touch me anymore than you have to hentai."

Shinji scowled at her but sighed and stood up. "Fine do what ever you want. But clean that soon or it could get infected. Misato might not be coming back for a while so I'm gonna start dinner now."

"Fine do whatever you want."

Asuka turned and walked out into the hallway and turned into the bathroom. Poking her head back out she said with a slight grin on her face, "And don't you dare try to catch anything."

"As if I would," said Shinji.

* * *

Shinji was standing over the stove now with the pot that was sending steam out. He didn't care what Asuka said, he wanted something Japanese for once instead of constant German food. 'As long as she doesn't have to cook she doesn't care anyway. But really, through all the talking we just did she never thanked me once. Maybe she doesn't have a heart maybe its just a black hole of some sorts.'

Shinji now turned off the stove and took the pot with the cooked rice in it. Putting the rice in together with the beef and vegetables he tossed the food together so that the peanut oil he had used mixed with the rice so that it gave it a little more flavor. Stir fry's were some of Shinji's favorite meals.

"Smells like something that isn't Japanese food," said a voice behind.

'Wonder who the hell that could be,' thought Shinji in mock irritation.

"Sorry Asuka, I wanted Japanese food today."

"Whatever, since it smells good enough I don't care."

'Figures, she didn't cook it so she doesn't care. Sometimes I wonder how the hell she survived without me there to cook for her.'

Turning around Shinji put the pot with everything in it on the table and put two plates on the table.

"Itadakimasu," said Shinji.

Asuka simply dug right in to the food without saying any form of thank you. Shinji sighed and figured he should have been expecting this attitude.

"What is this," said Asuka speaking up?

"Its a stir fry," said Shinji.

"Hmm, its not half bad baka."

"Err, thanks Asuka."

Asuka now looked up from her plate and put down her chopsticks.

"Um Shinji...."

"What?"

"I guess....well....thank you..."

Shinji continued to look down at his plate. "....Don't mention it."

"You...wont mention...that to Misato will you?"

Shinji looked up and saw that she was really worried. 'Why would she be so worried about something so trivial as that. Even me who practically shunned all human contact eventually came to realize that being around people is enjoyable and thats its okay to rely on people to help. But if she doesn't want help thats her choice. I'm not gonna force her to acknowledge anything.'

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

Asuka nodded and went back to eating

* * *

Later that night Shinji lay awake in bed. Everything had happened to him today was spinning around in his head. "Why do I have this....power I guess you could call it, to see the future of people I know. Is their a reason that I've been given this. What am I supposed to do with this."

"You've got to find that out for yourself baka."

Shinji sat bolt upright and almost screamed out. The fake Asuka was sitting on the edge of his bed smirking at him. Though Shinji was glad that she seemed to have her face back to the way it was.

"Err I don't mean to be rude but what are you doing here....do I still call you Asuka or what."

"You can, though...nah you can wait a little longer. I see that you decided to save her."

"I don't think I couldn't have. I....hmm....it wouldn't have been right."

"Thats a rather lame excuse."

"Maybe but I can't think of a better one. Just knowing that it would have been my fault would have been enough to drive me mad."

"You've still got a long way's to go," said the fake Asuka standing up.

Shinji smirked and said, "You may look like her, and I hate to say it but right down to her chest, but Asuka never would sound so philosophical."

"Maybe not, but I only know what she looks like. I haven't been around her enough to know what kind of personality she has. Though I can certainly examine your mind to find out. Would like me to?"

Shinji smiled, "No thats okay. Having one Asuka is enough."

"Thats rather rude."

"No I mean....she's unique, I guess thats the best way I can phrase that."

"Hmph I guess, I can understand that. Well, I'm done here. Time to see what other misfortunate humans I can torture. Though I must say your decision is rather interesting."

"How so?"

She simply smirked and said, "Oh you'll find out soon enough."

He blinked and she was gone which left him to wonder if it was nothing more than a dream or if he had really just talked to...whoever she was.


	4. Decide

**...I'M BACk..for now. Sorry bout the wait. In my defense I'll say that its hard to right a story like this and I have to be in a particular mood to get everything across. Anyway I'm hoping to work on this more so expect updates more frequently. (instead of four month's like this time) So for all those people that thought I died or abandoned this I apologize. I never abandon my stories, no matter how long it takes to get them done, I will get them done. And...I'm done**

* * *

Shinji sat bolt upright on his futon, breathing heavily as though he had just ran a mile. Rubbing his temples wearily he let out a low sigh and tried to remember what he had just dreamt.

Again, he suspected, that it had to do with the random visions that he had been having. Most of them, with the exception of Asuka's, had been completely irrelevant. This one though confused him.

In it, he was standing in the middle of a large crater, in the center of Tokyo 3. Around him many corpses of people that he had no affiliation with. However in the middle of it all was Eva Unit 01.

Shinji had stood there for a good while before he walked slowly over to what remained of the unit. The entry plug was laying a good few yards away from it and as he slowly approached it he realized that an arm was dangling out of it. Now running towards, it he pried it open as best he could. From what he could see from the small opening that he had made a girl laid inside.

At this point Shinji felt nauseous, not necessarily from the fact that another child was forced to fight in the demonic Eva's, but more of the fact that her left side was torn apart, leaving brain matter hanging out of the side of her skull. From what he could see, apart from all the blood, was that she had light blue hair.

Shinji had then put out a hand grab her wrist and see if she had a pulse. At this point the dying pilot had grabbed his hand forcefully and her eyes had flown open, revealing two blood red globes looking back at him. Shinji had attempted to wrench free of her grip but she simply frowned back at him and whispered, "Why did you let everyone die?"

* * *

Shinji had then turned shakily around to see everybody that he had ever met, piled in a bloody heap behind him. It was thanks to this last part that he had sat bolt upright in his futon. Seeing Asuka and Misato torn to shreds was not something that he didn't consider pleasant. Then again, who would?

Forcing himself to sit up, he trudged to the bathroom, willing himself not to vomit until he reached the toilet. Several minutes later he had his back to the bathroom door as he had just thrown up a large portion of the stir fry that he had made. Grimacing at the taste of bile he looked down at his hands and realized they were shaking.

What confused him most about this dream, or vision, was that the blue haired girl with red eyes had never met him, as far as he could remember. He thought that only people that he had met before, or were always around were people that he would have the visions for.

Leaning his head back against he bathroom door he banged it lightly against it. 'I'm really going insane, aren't I?' He paused, as he fully expected someone to answer him. Without any kind of confirmation to his sanity he open the bathroom door and walked slowly back to his futon, where he immediately fell down and fell asleep.

Shinji walked slowly into the kitchen the next morning already to find Asuka and Misato sitting there, chatting animately. Though when Shinji walked in Asuka frowned at him for a minute before turning back towards Misato.

In truth Shinji didn't feel that good. Even though he had fallen asleep instantly last night after his dream, he had a splitting headache this morning. Misato therefore realized this, as she watched Shinji try to put the cereal back in the fridge.

"Err Shinji, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired is all."

Misato frowned at him and said, "No your not, you've got bags under your eyes as if you didn't sleep last night." Standing up she walked over to Shinji and put a hand to his forehead. "You've got a fever, Shinji."

"Well, I suppose that explains why I feel like shit," murmured Shinji. Sighing he sat down at the table then and rested his head on the table.

"Shinji your gonna stay home from school."

Shinji smirked, 'Fantastic.'

"And Asuka will stay and take care of you," she finished.

'Not fantastic,' Shinji corrected. Thankfully that didn't seem to be the case, as Asuka stood up quickly and threw Shinji a scowl. Picking up her plate she dumped it in the sink, turned around and walked towards the front door.

"Asuka-" Asuka walked outside and slammed the door, "-wait." Misato stood there for a minute with an annoyed look on her face but started slightly as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Misato. I've taken care of myself my entire life so one day isn't going to make a difference. Besides I think I'd get worse if Asuka took care of me. Probably poison me or something."

"She may dislike you but thats going far even for her."

Shinji thought that it was a lot more than just dislike but didn't feel like saying anything.

"Well, Shinji, if you think that you'll be fine on your own that I guess that I'll try not to worry. I'd stay home myself but I've got to work at Nerv."

"Thanks, Misato."

Misato smiled then and patted Shinji gently on the shoulder and then walked out the door.

Shinji would have gladly liked to tell her how much it ment to him that she had considered staying home with him but found that something was stuck in his throat. Wheeling around he decided that the best course of action was to try and force himself to get some sleep.

* * *

At school, Asuka was bored to the limit. Everything that the teacher was talking about she had already learned. Several times she had turned around to make some comment about the stupidity of the teacher, only to remember that Shinji was at home sick.

'Tch, probably forced himself to throw up so he could skip school. Sick fuck,' she thought with a grimace. Even so without him here she was bored. At least he wasn't like all the other boys in the class, who seemed to get disgusting thoughts every time she walked in front of them. Though she was torn away from her thoughts to find a very disgusting reality awaiting him.

"Oh yes," yes said the teacher as he saw the door opening. "I had forgotten that you would be returning today."

Asuka narrowed her eyes to those of a hawk as she saw the light blue haired girl with red eyes walk in.

"As I'm sure everyone remembers Ayanami Rei, I see no reason in reintroducing her. Anyway Ayanami, go ahead and take your usual seat."

At this Asuka had spun around to look around the room, only to find out that the only empty desk was the one next to hers.

'This day just keeps getting shittier and shittier,' she thought as Ayanami sat down next to her.

* * *

'Where am I?'

'_Where else but where you truly belong.'_

It was then that Shinji inhaled a large amount of fluid. He felt like he was going to drown but next second realized that he was floating in LCL fluid and felt his body relax as oxygen filled his lungs.

The first thing he realized that he was naked as he floated helplessly, though that didn't seem to bother him. Around him was total blackness and he tried to spin around to look below him. Finding out that he was unable to move he continued looking up, where it all looked the same.

'_This is where you truly belong.'_

Shinji started slightly, as he had forgotten entirely about the eerie voice.

'Who are you? What do you mean by this is were I belong? I hate this place.'

'_Oh I think you'll grow to love it. Once you get used to the smell its quite pleasant to float there forever.'_

'I don't care, I have no reason to enjoy being here.'

'_So you don't care if something like this were to happen.'_

The blackness became whiteness and then turned to crimson as the scene unfolded. It was similar to what Shinji had dreamt, except it was worse...far worse. Blood and gore was strung across Tokyo-3. There was so much blood and bodily fluids that the drainage systems were overflowing. It looked as though someone had spilled several thousand gallons of fruit punch and let it sit there. Except this fruit punch had pieces in it.

Shinji stared in horror as the scene unfolded and he was shown a rewound version of the events. The fifth angel appeared and Eva Unit-02 was deployed along with a blue and orange Eva that Shinji had not seen. Shinji watch, stunned, as the angel slashed through the earth with its energy whips, missing the two Eva's several times. Soon the Eva's lost their umbilical cord and were forced to fight on reserve power.

After that it was a battle of attrition. Soon Eva Unit-02 lost one of its arms and was sliced down the middle. Shinji had to turn away as he could almost hear Asuka's scream of pain and anger. The angel approached the Eva, to finish it off, when the blue and orange one came from the side and knocked the angel off balance. Pulling something that looked remarkably like a knife, it stabbed the angel in the chest. Repeating this several times, to no affect, the angel pushed the Eva off itself and proceeding to slashing it several more times.

Dodging was all the blue and orange Eva could do as its energy slowly drained. Charging forward in stabbed outwards only to have its hand sliced off and fall to the ground. Red blood flew from the angels hand as it dropped to one knee as its energy ran out. The angel observed it for a moment before looping off its head.

What followed next was random flashes of things that happened. Shinji watched as the angel sliced into a building, incinerating many humans but for the most part cutting of body parts and leaving them to bleed. Shinji watched as people from his class were killed or crushed. Toji and Kensuke where both crushed by falling rubble and Shinji had a strong urge to vomit after he heard their bones crunching. A particular painful moment happened as he watched Misato cradling a broken arm and crawling forward. A sharp piece of metal had sliced her leg off, just above the knee, preventing her from moving far.

Hardest of all was watching as Asuka slowly died. To the bitter end she tried to fight back, even though her Eva wasn't responding. When the angel had sliced her Eva in half it had only pierced part of the entry. Thanks to this Asuka didn't die immediately but it would have been kinder. She had been pierced in the stomach and now a mixture of blood and stomach acid was flowing from the open wound. Several times Shinji heard his own named mentioned in the mixture of swear words from the different languages she had learned.

Now Shinji hovered over the remains of what remained of the other Eva unit. Its entry plug had not been crushed surprisingly and Shinji found himself remembering more and more of his dream as events from it unfolded before his eyes. He saw the arm of the pilot sticking out, but now he saw something else...he was approaching it. His self from the vision was approaching the arm as it dangled lifelessly out of the Eva, and Shinji understood.

Once again this was something that may or may not happen, and this time his decision controlled all of Tokyo-3.

"Figure it out yet?"

Shinji felt his body move on its own as he turned around and looked up at the Asuka from his dreams.

"Nice little battle, to bad you weren't there, might have made a difference."

"Are you here to give my advice or mock me?" Asked Shinji.

"Oh, I'm done giving advice, I'm just here for the show.

"Thoughtful of you."

Shinji's body turned then as if to show what happened one final time. 'I know what I've got to do, its just doing it is the problem.'

"If your done feeling sorry for yourself I suggest you go back."

"Why? I thought you weren't giving advice anymore."

"Don't think of it so much as advice. More of a friendly reminder."

"Your my friend?"

Asuka scratched her chin thoughtfully, "Hmmm, I suppose, for now at least I am. Put it this way I don't want you to die."

"Thanks...I think."

* * *

Shinji felt his eyes open and if not for the fact that he heard the slamming of a door he would have thought thats what woke him up. Sitting up straighter he assumed that it wasn't Misato and could only guess that it had to be Asuka. Looking over, he noticed that it was a few minutes after noon. So she had left school early again.

Standing up, Shinji walked towards his bedroom door and slid it open slightly. Next second the door was slammed shut and Shinji was forced to take a step back.

Slightly worried about her he took a hesitant step and said, "Err, Asuka...is everything okay?"

Without getting an answer he slid the door open again and this time without it getting shut in his face. Looking around quickly he didn't see her sitting at the kitchen table but heard talking coming from the living room.

Walking into it, slightly nervous, he saw her laying on the couch, eating a bag of potato chips and flipping through the channels.

Opening his mouth, Shinji was about to ask if anything had happened at school when he got rude answer.

"Shut it Shinji, I don't want to talk you!"

Shinji raised an eyebrow at her. Did he do something that had made her angry? For the life of him he couldn't remember. Maybe it was what Misato had said about her staying home and looking after him. Shinji really couldn't care if she was there or not. It didn't make any difference to him whatsoever. Even so though he was annoyed that she was angry at him for something that he probably didn't even do.

Smirking slightly he said, "What, did someone sneak a peak while you were at the drinking fountain again?"

Asuka tore her eyes away from the T.V. briefly to give Shinji a heart piercing stare. Without replying to his comment she turned her gaze back towards the T.V.

'Guess she really doesn't want to talk, but I know one thing she will want to discuss.'

Walking out of the living room he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge door. Yelling over he shoulder he said, "So what does your highness want for dinner tonight?"

Shinji thought he heard something between a snarl and half a laugh.

Replying back she said, "Whatever the fuck you feel like. I don't give a shit right now."

'Wow,' thought Shinji. 'If she didn't care about dinner than something pretty bad must have happened.

Ignoring dinner for now he walked back into the living room and stood directly in front of him.

"Move it ass-hole."

"No. If you don't even care about dinner than something obviously happened."

"It doesn't concern you!"

"It might not but the Asuka I see in front of me is one that I certainly don't like living with."

"As if you enjoy living with me anyway," she whispered.

"On occasion I do, if you must know," mumbled Shinji.

Asuka seemed rather taken aback at this and her expression soften slightly. "Fine baka, if you must know I have to sit next to my least favorite person in the world at school now."

Shinji almost laughed, "I thought I was your least favorite person in the world."

"Its close, but your my second least favorite."

"Glad to hear it. So why the hell is this such a problem?"

"Because I also have to-" Asuka paused, mentioning that Rei was the pilot of Eva Unit-00 wouldn't be smart. Shinji was supposed to know as little as possible if he wouldn't pilot Unit-01, at least thats what Misato said.

"I just don't like people like her, she's stuck up, thinks she's so great."

Shinji frowned, "You act as though you know her personally."

Thankfully Asuka was saved the need of replying when her phone vibrated briefly. Flipping it open she read a very short message from Misato. Flipping it closed she bit her lip slightly and stood up.

"Anything wrong, Asuka?"

"No, I just have to go to Nerv and do some tests, its standard."

Shinji nodded, "Then what do you want for dinner?"

This time Asuka gave him a long list of German foods and told him to just make one every night and to start at the top of the list. Shinji frowned down at it not liking some of the choices.

"I'll be back late, with Misato most likely."

"Okay..." Shinji felt like he had to say something but couldn't quite get his tongue wrapped around it.

"Cya later then."

"Yeah bye," Shinji mumbled.

When Asuka closed the door she flipped open her phone and called Misato as she started to run slightly. The first thing that she heard was a lot of rambling in the back round when Misato answered the phone.

"Asuka are you on your way."

"Yeah."

"Good, we don't have much time. It will hit land fall in thirty minutes. I'll brief you quickly and then we'll send you up." Here Misato paused and asked, "What did you tell Shinji?"

"Tests," she said simply.

"Good, having two kids to worry about will just make me age faster."

Even though the joke had good intentions Asuka wasn't in the mood for joking around. The last thing she intended to do was tell Shinji what she really was doing, though she guessed he'd realize it in half an hour.

* * *

Shinji had guessed that something was wrong, judging by the brief worried look that had passed over Asuka's face the moment she had gotten off the phone with Misato. Completely ignoring thoughts of dinner he sat down on the couch where Asuka had recently laid. The first thing that had come to his mind was an angel attack, though she had shot that idea down quickly with her mention of tests. But he didn't believe her, tests couldn't make a person go from calm to nervous in the span of seconds, and Asuka was not someone to get riled up easily.

Rolling off the couch he stood up and walked over to the nearest window and looked briefly.

'Well, if an angel was to show I'd feel it before I saw it,' he thought.

Turning around he was about to walk to the kitchen to make a half hearted attempt on one of the many things that Asuka had give him to cook when he noticed the ceiling fan shake. Pausing for a moment he looked up at it again and it gave another small wobble, slightly larger than last time.

Next, Shinji felt the ground beneath him shake violently and he had to brace himself so as not to fall on his face. When the tremors had settled he immediately bolted towards the door. Only then did he realize that an alarm had gone off and people were crowding around on the streets below, looking for a suitable shelter.

"Damn it, she didn't have to lie to me."

Taking off down the stairs he had to weave in and out of the sea of people that were trying to get to the shelter first. In the back round a cool female voice was telling everyone not to panic and to enter the shelters in an orderly fashion. Shinji had to smirk at the calmness in her voice. It was obviously a pre-recording and whoever had done it was miles away by now.

Fighting his way out of the mass of people he managed to recognize two people from his class, Touji and Kensuke. Shinji was almost tempted to approach them but was deterred when he remembered what they had done to both him and Asuka. It seemed though that they had something they wanted to discuss as they both ran up to him.

"Hey fuck face!"

Shinji had a sudden urge to rip Touji's skull out of his head but restrained himself. Asking in as calm a voice as he could muster he said, "What?"

"Where's Asuka, you live with her right, sleaze ball?"

'Of course, they only wanted to know where she was.'

"No idea where she went, she took off immediately after she got home." Even though he wasn't a part of Nerv, telling other people what Asuka was involved with was not something that he considered telling.

"Tch, dick head you just want her all yo yourself."

"Yeah, whatever," said Shinji not caring at all at this point.

Turning around he started walking away when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Hey where you even listening to me!"

Shinji scowled back, "I tend to ignore people who bother the shit out of me."

"Why you bastard!"

Touji brought his hand back to punch Shinji in the face again when he heard another voice over the loud speaker, this time slightly different.

"Those that have not entered a shelter block please do so immediately, the city will descend in five minutes."

"Touji we should get to one," said a worried Kensuke.

"Fine."

Touji backed away from Shinji and threw a scowl at him before turning towards the shelter blocks only to find that none now remained.

"God damn it, look at what you made us do."

"Its your one fault for harassing me, so if you die don't expect me to cry over your body"

"Thats it fuck face I'm beating the shit out of you."

Touji took several steps forward and probably would have knocked Shinji out again if Kensuke hadn't stepped in between them.

"Guys this isn't the time to be fighting, we need to find another shelter before Tokyo-3 goes into lockdown."

As much as Shinji hated these two, Kensuke had a point. If Tokyo-3 sank into the Geofront then they'd fall several hundred feet to there death.

"Whatever, just stay out of my way," said Touji.

'Likewise,' though Shinji.

Together the trio ran through the streets of Tokyo-3 quickly searching for a shelter, though without much luck.

"Hey Shinji I'm rather surprised that your not with Asuka actually," said Kensuke.

Shinji blinked back at him, rather surprised, "What makes you say that?"

Kensuke shrugged, "Well, you certainly know her better than anybody else at the school so it seems natural that you'd be with her more."

"I...suppose," Shinji said slowly.

"But what are you doing out here. Where you looking for her?"

Shinji had to think about that for a second. What was he really doing out here? He already knew where and what Asuka was doing and he didn't have any inclination to go to where she was. Even so though, there was something akin to a driving force pushing him forward.

Shaking his head he said, "Not sure, can't give you a correct answer."

"Hmm I see," nodded Kensuke thoughtfully.

Shinji was slightly annoyed at how Kensuke was acting around him right now. It was almost as if he was somebody that he had just met and everything that he had done to him was completely thrown out the window. If he thought they were friends he was sorely wrong.

"Come on lets check over here."

As soon as Shinji got the words out of his mouth the earth shook violently as the angel made landfall. Simultaneously Eva Unit-02 was brought up the elevator and broke the surface just to see the angel make landfall.

Kensuke and Touji stood in a slight daze as they watched the Eva charge towards the oncoming angel.

"Wha-what is that?" Stuttered the stupid jock.

Shinji didn't feel like explaining and just yelled over his shoulder, "Forget it we need to find a shelter."

As the two ran they could here the crumbling of buildings as the ones not brought into the Geofront crumble while the two fought.

Several seconds later the three of them found a shelter that still had some room left in it, however it could only hold two more people. The trio stood there briefly while the person holding the door open waited at the argument that was soon going to break out. Touji was prepared to fight for his if he had to when he heard someone laugh and say, "Get in you idiots, I never intended on entering a shelter anyway."

Spinning around, Touji and Kensuke saw Shinji smirking back at them.

"Get your asses in, this is what we've been walking around for haven't we."

Touji hoped directly in but Kensuke was a little hesitant. "Shinji you are going to look for another one, right?"

Shinji shrugged, "Maybe..." He already knew he wouldn't.

Kensuke nodded and walked in behind Touji and the door was closed.

Shinji had already turned around when Kensuke entered the shelter and was already walking in the opposite direction, to where the two demons were fighting, as he saw them.

'That Eva is definitely Asuka's, I just hope she can take that thing on.'

Turning around a corner he was hit in the face by a whirlwind of dust and small debris as a building had just collapsed that the angel had fallen in. Coughing slightly he looked up just to see the Eva flying through the air as the angel had counterattacked and wrapped several energy whips around the Eva's arm, and thrown it.

Quickly darting into an alley way Shinji just barely managed to dodge a car as it went soaring directly over where he had been standing moments before. Looking around the corner he saw the Eva get back up quickly and stare down its enemy. Grabbing something from a holster in its back it brought a small knife out which glowed white and charged at the angel.

Slicing across what would be considered its chest, the angel took several steps back to avoid it. Grabbing the arm that had the knife in it, it quickly twisted it and Shinji heard several pops as the arm joints disconnected.

Shinji was starting to become worried as the angel was repeatedly slashing at Unit-02. Next second though the ground shook again and several feet in front of him soared up the one that he had pilot Eva Unit-01.

Shinji stared at it and could almost hear that voice in the back of his head. What he couldn't understand though was how someone else was able to pilot it. He had thought that anybody else that tried to pilot it would immediately die.

Next second though, as the Eva tried to take several clumsy steps forward, it fell directly on its side and fell silent.

Shinji was several hundred feet away from where the Eva fell and hesitated as he looked at its motionless body. He felt as though some unnatural force was pulling him towards the Eva. Inching closer he hesitated as he reached the entry plug and glanced around at anything that would open it.

Reaching out for it a gust of wind threatened to knock him over as Unit 02 sent the angel backwards against a building collapsing it several blocks away from where Shinji stood. Looking behind himself hesitantly, he reached out for the handle for which he thought opened the entry plug. Though at the first touch of it he pulled back quickly as blisters erupted all over his skin. It was well over oven temperature.

Grimacing at the pain now racking his right hand he took a deep breath, and for the life of him couldn't understand why he was doing it, and gripped both hands on the valve and twisted it.

Ignoring the steadily increasing pain on his hands he turned the valve until it was all the way on the other side.

As the entry plug opened several gallons of LCL fluid leaked out, showering Shinji in it. Spitting a mouthful of the disgusting liquid he got his first look at the first child, Ayanami Rei.

Shinji didn't know what he had expected but not this. She was the person that he'd dreamt about. She had light blue hair and dark blue eyes, but the face...puzzled him. It seemed familiar somehow.

Hesitating slightly Shinji asked in a voice that sounded like it didn't want to be answered, "Hey, are you okay?"

The girl shifted slightly at first and then slowly looked to where Shinji was looking in from the outside. Her expression was unreadable, neither happy nor angry that someone had asked her if she was all right.

Sitting slowly up in the plug Shinji then noticed that beads of sweat were on her eyes brows and she seemed to be clutching her side slightly.

Shinji bit his tongue. Here was this completely weird girl, who he had been dreaming about, and now he had just met her. What's more she seemed to be clutching her side as though she was injured.

Shinji was about to open his mouth though when the girl, surprisingly beat him to it.

"Are you Ikari Shinji?"

For some reason the mention of his last named seemed to anger him and a slight crease appeared on his forehead before he said, "Yeah I am."

The girl nodded slightly and then got up shakily from the Eva Unit and hobbled slowly over to the opening in the plug.

"Hey what are you doing?" Asked Shinji as the girl got out.

Either she didn't here him or ignored his comment, either way she didn't answer.

Shinji backed out of the way slightly as she took several steps forward and then seemed to loose her balance. Expecting something of this nature to happen, Shinji took several steps forward and caught her around the waist before she was able to hit the ground. It was then that Shinji realized that large amounts of blood were flowing from her side, which apparently had a large wound.

Shinji had a strong urge then to yell at her, to ask why the hell she was piloting that thing in her condition. He never got the words out though as he assumed she wouldn't care.

"Come on, lets get out of here."

"No."

Shinji had to do a double take as he saw her looking over at the Eva Unit.

With a frown on his face Shinji said, "Come on, your hurt, I don't want to be here, and those things are capable of leveling a city."

"No."

Shinji was starting to get annoyed and was about to retort angrily back at the girl when she said, "The Eva, it wants you to pilot it."

Shinji blinked twice before he understood what she was talking about. Shaking his head he said, "No, I can't."

"And why is that?"

"Because I..."

The girl looked blankly back at him as he turned his head the other way, biting down on his lip, unsure of what to say.

"I don't like it," he finally whispered.

"Why don't you like it?"

"I don't know damn it!"

His outburst didn't even seemed to faze her as she looked calmly back at him. Turning towards the Eva she said, "Only you can pilot that Eva, I tried and wasn't able to."

Shinji grumbled slightly at her words. He didn't want to, hell no, but the visions. He couldn't get the damn things out of his head.

"It's asking you to go, why don't you?"

Shinji maybe thought it would be worth it just to get away from this girls questions.

Looking over at the Eva briefly he could have sworn he felt a tug on his shirt as though it was pulling him towards itself.

Sighing in a dejected way he said, "Do I have a choice." It wasn't a question, it was acknowledgement.

Letting go of the girl she watched him as he slowly walked over to the Eva took a few hesitating moments and climbed in. Almost at once the entry plug resealed itself as though it had found what it wanted.

Inside the entry plug Shinji immediately felt the voice talking to him again.

"_Glad to see that your back."_

"Don't expect me for long."

"_You sure? I feel like I'm getting to know you better every time you climb in. Only I know what is deep in your heart."_

"Thats great but how about we get moving."

"_Gonna save that red Eva."_

"Something like that," Shinji mumbled.

Trying to remember how he had done it before he put everyone ounce of his thought it making the Eva stand up. Slowly but surely it did.

From the right Asuka saw this and smirked into the transceivers that were built into the entry plug. "Might as well stay down first child, I'm almost done."

"Err, hey...Asuka."

Silence greeted Shinji's sudden intrusion at into battle. Asuka didn't reply, whether she was glad or angry Shinji didn't find out. However in the command center of Nerv Misato was beside herself with worry when she heard Shinji's voice over the intercom.

"Shinji what the hell do you think your doing," yelled Misato straight into the entry plug. Shinji felt like his ears were going to explode.

"Helping, I think."

"You get out this instance."

"No. I'm in and staying, for now."

Suddenly a new voice came over the intercom and Shinji recognized it to be his father.

"Am I to understand that you wont run away this time," he said in his usual drawl.

"I'm here until I leave, and only I decide that."

"Nerv does not employee selfish people."

'Then why the hell are you here,' Shinji felt like saying.

Ignoring his dad and everybody else at the command center he turned to see the angel flying through the air again as Asuka had just hit it with a metal light post.

"Heh, try getting up after that you bastard."

"Asuka, I don't think thats enough to-"

Once again she completely ignored him.

Sighing to himself he thought he should have suspected this attitude. Likely she wanted all the glory and didn't care what his thoughts were on the matter, typical.

"_Aren't you going to do anything?"_

"I didn't do anything last time, you took over."

"_Thats right, I had fun. All right since I had my fun I'll help you this time."_

The Eva's nerves suddenly bore into the metal of the entry plug and burst through into sea of LCL fluid were they started floating. Shinji eyed them worriedly and said, "Why are you using those things again?"

"_I've told you its easier to sync with you, because it is particularly you."_

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"_Something that doesn't concern you."_

Without warning the nerves pierced Shinji's skin and dug into his body where they wrapped around his own nerves. Slowly blood started to leak from the wounds.

"_Hmm, the mixing of the blood and LCL fluid isn't going as well as I'd hoped. Their is a shortage of the LCL fluid since you opened it earlier. Guess it can't be helped will have to rely on your blood."_

"And what does my blood have to do with anything."

"_You ask to many questions, just sit there and watch."_

Eva Unit 01 then let out a roar that shattered the windows of the buildings around it. Crouching down on all fours it dashed quickly off against the ground and hurled itself at the angel. The angel, completely focused on Unit 02 was caught of guard and sent hurling into the nearest building. Jumping up and down, Eva Unit 01 let out another loud roar as it charged at the angel again.

Grabbing one of the energy whips it squeezed it quickly and broke it in a shower of blood and gore. Letting out a wounded howl the angel took several clumsy steps back only to be greet by a savage punch from Eva Unit 02.

"Take that Bastard."

Shinji was almost felt like he was in a drunken rage as he watched things unfold from inside the entry plug. He hated not knowing what to do and being at the mercy of the voice in the Eva, or what he wast starting to call the Devil.

As the angel backed slowly away from Tokyo-3, planning to retreat, Unit 01 quickly pounced on it and grabbed it by the neck and twisted it savagely until it broke with the sound of a battleship bombardment.

"_That was dull, I didn't even have to use berserk mode."_

Shinji felt himself slowly blacking out as he had lost to much blood. "At least its over."

"_For now at least."

* * *

_

"This constant cycle of bleeding and healing is going to affect him."

"How bad?"

"I can't say for sure but he seems to heal surprisingly quickly, which worries me since it could be a side effect of being in that Eva."

"Do you really think its that bad."

"Judging by the fact that Rei couldn't pilot it I can assure you that it's very different."

"I suppose...at least it didn't go berserk."

"No, Shinji seemed to be more in control that last time, but still far from a decent sync. At times he far out passes Asuka's records and at times he barely meets the minimum sync levels."

"Any ideas?"

"None."

Misato sighed, "Thanks Ritsuko for all the help."

"No problem, he shouldn't be in any immediate danger though so when he gets up you should be able to go home."

"Thanks again."

Ritsuko simply waived a hand as she walked out of the hospital room.

Several minutes later Shinji felt his eyes open slowly. It felt like they had been crusted shut.

"Shinji you're awake!"

It took Shinji several minutes to figure out who was talking then...

"Misato?"

"Yeah how do you feel."

"Sore, like I had needles drilled into me."

"Well, you did have the Eva's nerves connected with yours."

"Yeah..."

"So ready to go home."

Shinji looked up hopefully, "I can leave."

"Yeah, nothing's wrong with you so we can leave whenever."

"Okay, yeah I'm ready."

Shinji got out of bed and changed quickly while Misato waited by the door.

"All ready then?"

Shinji nodded.

"Good, I'm sure Asuka is wanting food right about now."

Shinji felt a little sweat dripped from his chin then. He had forgotten about Asuka.

* * *

Shinji had thought that he had finally gotten used to Misato's driving but he had to look back at the drive home as he walked into the apartment clutching his stomach.

"About time," said an angry voice.

Shinji looked up to see Asuka in short blue shorts and a pink tank-top standing in front of the door with her foot tapping impatiently.

"Do you have any idea how hungry I've gotten waiting for you."

"Gomen Asuka, I didn't want to wake Shinji up."

"Whatever I want something for dinner, now."

Even though she still hadn't said anything to him since she left earlier or looked at him for that matter, he took this as an indirect way of asking him to make dinner.

"Yeah, I'll get right on it."

"But Shinji you just got out of the hospital, surely-"

"Its fine Misato."

Asuka meanwhile had retreated to the couch and turned on the T.V. and turned the volume up so she couldn't here Shinji whistling in the kitchen.

It was probably the first time since they all three started to live together that not a word was spoken at the dinner table. Shinji for the most part kept to himself and only talked when addressed, but Asuka and Misato talked a lot. Not today.

The air itself seemed to be unsocial and half way through dinner Asuka couldn't take any more of it and stood up, planting both palms on the table, and walked over to the living room with her half eaten plate.

When Asuka finally left Shinji stopped playing with his food and asked Misato. "Err, is she angry that I killed he angel and not her?"

Misato shrugged, "No idea."

Sighing Shinji pushed his half eaten plate of food away from himself and walked into the living room.

Predictably Asuka was watching something in German and taking up the whole couch. Shinji stood there for several seconds, listening to whatever she was watching and was about to turn around when a harsh voice said, "What do you want?"

Shinji looked over his shoulder to see Asuka still looking at the T.V. even though she had just asked him a question.

Shaking his head he said, "Why are you mad at me."

"Because you're a baka, plain and simple."

"You tell me I'm an idiot at least twice a day, if not more, its something more important than that."

"Fine then, I'm angry that you left the house and then started fighting the angel without giving a thought about it."

"Asuka I didn't have a choice, it just happened in front of me. It's not like I wanted that to happen."

"Baka!"

"Whatever, be that way. You're too stubborn as it is."

As Shinji turned away he heard the shifting of something and next second heard a crash as something exploded over his head.

Being careful not to step on the broken plate he turned around to see a red faced, angry Asuka glaring poisonously back at him.

"DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE YOUR THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN-" Asuka got a hold of her feeling then as she realized that she'd be making herself vulnerable.

Shinji meanwhile was looking curiously back at her, unsure what to make of this sudden outburst and subsequent retreat.

"If it makes you feel any better I'm sorry, for whatever I did. Now I'm going to bed, night."

Shinji then turned and walked down the hall leaving Asuka alone in the living room. Biting her lip slightly she slumped back down into the couch cushions and thought, 'Sorry, you could have died. Baka!'


	5. Understanding

**Well as I said I'd get this done a lot earlier then the last four month wait time...and here it is. I think this is the shortest chapter I've done so far for Spawn of Adam, though they wont get shorter than this. Anyway I'm going to yellowstone for ten days and they've got internet there. So hopefully I'll get some typing done while there. Also something I forgot to mention in the last chapter, I made a ShinjiXAsuka amv and put it on youtube. I originally made it back in January but only got around to posting it last month. So if you like Breaking Benjamin (song is Diary of Jane) then you'll probably like this. Ja Ne **

* * *

"Get up, and make our lunches," said an angry voice from his door.

Shinji rolled over and grumbled about it being to early before Asuka planted her bare foot directly on his face.

"Move it! You better not expect me to eat that shit they call food at school."

Pushing Asuka's foot off his face he glared at her briefly before resigning to her demands. Looked like she was still angry.

Standing up quickly he pushed passed her and walked into the kitchen to start making their bento's. Shinji was somewhat surprised though that she didn't wake him up earlier to make breakfast. Though judging from the bowl of half eaten cereal on the kitchen table she wasn't particularly hungry.

Sighing slightly, he turned towards the fridge and started assembling all the ingredients for the bento's.

Half an hour later, the two of them walked out the door with Asuka maintaing several yards in front Shinji. He didn't seem to mind it really though, if anything he was avoiding her as much as possible.

The day before, when Misato returned from Nerv, Shinji was told that if he continued to fight the angels then he would have to run tests while in the Eva. He wasn't thrilled by this but expected it nonetheless. Asuka seemed furious though and this seemed to just build on top of her new hate for Shinji. So after a hectic yelling match between the two she had hit him...hard, and stormed back to her room. So Shinji would only be more than happy to be able to ignore her for the rest of the day. Though that didn't seem to be the case as a sudden bout of nausea hit him and he felt his vision grow blurry until he passed out.

* * *

'Really this is starting to get annoying,' he thought to himself as he watched himself walking out the door of Misato's apartment with Asuka slightly in the lead. It was a replay of what had just happened to him. He watch from above as two of them walked, with her always slightly in the lead.

After several minutes of this he was starting to get bored when everything changed. It looked like he was watching an extremely sped up tape on a VCR. He watched as he entered school and spent most of the time slouching in his chair with his eyes half open, glancing out the window occasionally.

Next they were walking out of the doors to school and seemed to be on their way to the Nerv testing facilities. Except that somebody else was with them. Shinji couldn't tell who it was though and this puzzled him. It was like a gray human like shape was walking in between him and Asuka. Why bother showing the gray shape if he couldn't even see the person. At least he thought it was a person.

When they arrived at Nerv a security personal paused from a moment to check their idea and then let them through. After that Shinji got brief flashes of things that happened in the facilities. He saw as he changed in what Misato had called a plug suit. It seemed to be black, blue and white. He saw himself taking a deep breath before walking into the entry plug of Eva Unit 01. He saw all three of the Evas lined up, including the blue and orange one.

After that almost nothing. He saw a few brief flashes of things that happened afterwards. It looked like him and Asuka had another fight and he was left standing in the road with a red mark on his cheek. After this everything went blurry and he suddenly felt himself falling, and falling into nothingness.

* * *

"Wake up, damn it!"

Shinji felt somebody hitting him hard at the side of his head and opened his eyes slowly, just as Asuka was about the backhand him again.

It was curious how he reacted. Before her hand was about to strike him he caught it with surprising speed that he didn't even know he possessed. With a glazed look over his eyes as though he was stilling falling through the blackness he looked up at Asuka. It was hard to tell what her expression was, most of it seemed to be angry but Shinji thought he sensed a tiny bit of worry, though he didn't expect her to say it in words.

"Let go of me ass-hole."

Wrenching her hand out of his grip she glared at him slightly before snarling. "What the fuck was that about?"

Shinji would have dearly liked to retort back something similar but kept his cool and said. "Nothing, just anticipation for today's tests."

"No amount of tests will improve you, baka."

Shinji ignored her comment, stood up calmly, and grabbed his bag which lay discarded on the sidewalk. Turning around briefly he glanced at Asuka briefly who seemed somewhere torn between loathing and spite, which didn't make a difference in Shinji's opinion.

Turning back around he started walking forward at a slow pace when he felt something hard hit his shoulder and a flash of red moved past him. Rubbing his shoulder where she had punched him he looked ahead and was unsurprised that she had widened the distance between them.

"Does she always have to act so superior to everyone?" He mumbled before walking at the same pace that he had been moving at moments before.

* * *

School was still a nightmare but one thing seemed to have changed. Kensuke seemed to respect Shinji a little because of what he said at the shelters. Even Touji didn't seem like a jerk as much, but he kept up with it mainly because everyone else did.

When Shinji walked into class that day he was unsurprised to see Asuka already sitting in front of his desk looking determinedly out the window. Ignoring this he walked over to his desk and was about to sit down when he stopped in the middle of sitting. Next to Asuka was a girl with blue hair, the same from the day before.

She gave no inclination that she recognized Shinji, in fact, from his view, she seemed to not even know where she was. A vague, blank expression was on her face as she continued staring at the chalk bored. Shinji noticed, without perverted intentions, that she seemed to be holding herself different, as though she was in discomfort. Then he remembered the large wound that she had suffered and was about to open his mouth when a slight snarl came from across the room.

"Shinji, are you going to stand there forever or can you sit so I can get on with teaching."

Several of the kids snickered as Shinji threw his teacher a scowl and sat behind Asuka who at that moment didn't know who she hated more: Shinji or the First Child.

While school was still something he loathed he found it easier to get through the day. He even started to attracted less unpleasant remarks from the other students, which he thought might have a lot to do with living with Asuka. Seemed many of the boys had finally found out what she was really like and lost interest in her, which seemed to annoy her. After all her complaining about every guy wanting to get in bed with her she was getting annoyed by the lack of attention. Shinji then snorted at the thought of this as he sat down up on the school roof. Classes had just been dismissed for lunch and Shinji didn't have an appetite right now. Last thing he needed was to hurl during his first test.

After several minutes of laying there Shinji thought that he could hear two distinct voices coming up the stairwell. Sitting up just in time he saw the door flung open and bounce off against the wall only to be kicked again. Touji walked disgruntled out into the open with a slight tense Kensuke behind him.

'So much for peace and quiet,' thought Shinji.

Surprisingly though they didn't seem to want to pick on him as Kensuke walked up to Shinji and said rather hurriedly.

"Hey...umm, I'm sorry for everything that I...we've ever done to you." Touji acted as though he wasn't listening. Kensuke continued.

"And I was just hoping that we could put our past differences aside and well..." Kensuke then put out his hand in front of Shinji and gave something close to a bow.

Shinji wasn't sure whether to laugh, rebuke him, or shake his hand. Never being good any stuff like this he scratched the back of his head and said, "Oh...yeah." Grabbing his hand rather uncertain of himself he shook Kensuke's hand who responded by sitting down next to Shinji and opening his lunch box.

"Want some?"

Shinji shook his head, "Best not to."

Kensuke shrugged and went back to eating. It appeared that even Touji's still apparent annoyance of Shinji could not even deter him from eating as he sat down next to Kensuke and plowed into his own lunch. Even though Shinji didn't want to admit it he was glad that he had finally made a friend, well there was Asuka, but that varied.

"Hey Shinji I was wondering," said Kensuke between bites.

"Hmm?"

"What happened to you after we left you at that shelter."

Its a good thing that Shinji wasn't eating anything or he would have just gone into a choking fit. This was the least thing that he expected Kensuke to ask. Stuttering slightly he said, "Oh I wandered around before I found a shelter."

"Did you here about the rumor that have been going around town lately?"

"Err what rumors?" Shinji had an idea but wasn't about to say it.

"That underneath Tokyo-3 is a secret military organization and that it conducted a test yesterday. Thats why the city had to be under isolation."

Shinji let out a sigh of relief.

"And that they supposedly tested some giant robot."

Shinji sigh seemed to be sucked back in as Kensuke's words hit his ears. "Err, know. I didn't hear that," he said sheepishly.

"It seems to be a big story, I just wonder how much is true. Oh what I would give to get a picture of one."

Shinji thought it was time to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters and said quiet bluntly without meaning to. "Who is that blue haired girl that just showed up today?"

Kensuke looked puzzled for a minute before snickering slightly and smiling at Shinji. "I thought I caught you looking at her, what outgrew Asuka already?"

Shinji was slightly annoyed, more for the fact of suggesting him and Asuka having sex then him interested in the blue haired girl.

Passing it off he said, "I'd never live through it. No I was just curious is all. I've been here for almost a month now and I just noticed her today. Has she been here always?"

Kensuke shrugged, "Yeah but she seems to disappear for a while and then just comes back one day. Sometimes she's injured, other times she's fine. No idea what's up with her. She keeps to herself and hardly talks to anyone."

"So what's her name then?"

"Err...Ayanami Rei, I think."

"Ayanami Rei?"

"Yeah, its the first time I can remember seeing her in a few months."

Shinji couldn't think of anything to say at this point and lapsed into silence. So her name was Ayanami Rei and she was also an Eva pilot. Chances are then that he'd see her later again.

Kensuke appeared to be done with his lunch and Touji had finished his in record time. Standing up Kensuke said, "I guess I'll see you in class then, Shinji."

"Yeah cya," said Shinji who was absorbed in his own thoughts.

After the two stooges left Shinji flung himself on his back as he looked up at the clouds. Reflecting back on what had happened the past week his life had definitely taken a turn, but in which direction. Compared to what it used to be he supposed that it was better. He had a decent home with a nice roommate...and a not so nice roommate, well usually. And he had started to get used to peoples company.

Though everything bad that he had seen, the Eva, angels, the visions, the damn visions. What in the hell we're they really? Premonitions about the future, or events that may or might not happen, and why him? What did he do to make this happen to himself? A book certainly couldn't tell Shinji what he wanted to know.

Then there was Eva Unit 01, his Eva he supposed, as it wouldn't let anyone else pilot it but him. It was obviously different then the other Eva's but in what way. Did the others hear a voice every time they got in that entry plug? Did they connect physically and mentally with the Eva every time they piloted it? Shinji rather doubted it.

"To many questions," he mumbled out loud to nobody but himself. Or at least he thought.

"Does it hurt," asked a calm voice?

Shinji almost had a heart attack as he bolted upright. Standing several feet in front of him was Ayanami Rei and once again she had a passive look on her face.

Shinji gaped openly for a second or to and then closed his mouth. He had an urge to say something funny but couldn't quite get his tongue to wrap around them.

"Hey what's up?" He asked in a feeble attempted at a conversation.

She continued to look passively back at him without any sign of emotion. Shinji was starting to get annoyed.

Sitting up he said, "Look, if you don't have anything to say then I'm heading back to class."

Shinji then pushed himself up and walked past her. At first he thought that she was going to stop him and he hesitated for a fraction of a second, but then continued walking past her. However when he was about to reach for the door nob to take him to the stairwell she finally opened up.

"Are you going to continued piloting Eva?"

Shinji wheeled around and was unsurprised to see that she still hadn't moved but was still standing in the same place, as though he had never moved. He was starting to get used to her weirdness.

Wrenching open the door he paused in front of it and said, "Yeah."

Glancing briefly at her he didn't see any sign of change and let out a sigh. Had he been expecting something? Ignoring the thought he started walking back towards class.

The minute that Shinji walked into class Asuka threw him a dirty scowl, which he saw but ignored it. She could be so childish sometimes. However several seconds later her scowl intensified, as Shinji was walking back towards his desk, when Rei walked into the classroom. Asuka's imagination started to buzz rapidly as she thought of reasons why they were mere moments apart from walking into the class room. None of the conclusions she came up with satisfied her.

* * *

Many hour later school ended and Shinji was almost grateful, or would have been if he didn't have to climb into an Eva.

The walk to Nerv was uneventful to say the least. He was right in assuming that Rei was a regular Eva pilot as she seemed to be going the same way as he and Asuka. Though it seemed that Asuka was determined that she was the leader as she continued to speed up every once in a while.

Shinji was nervous and it showed. His eyebrows were sweating and he was starting to bite his lip. He had a sudden urge then to ask Asuka some things about the tests that he would be going through soon. Speeding up, he was still determined though to stand far enough back so that he would be able to avoid a punch from her if she got angry. Still unsure if this was even smart he opened his mouth and said, "Hey Asuka can I ask you something?"

She ignored him like he thought. It was worth a shot, but he still had an idea.

Laying the respect on a bit thick he said, "Asuka please, you've been doing this a lot longer than I have. I want to know what to expect from these tests since you've had much more experience than I have."

Shinji was counting on Asuka's pride as an Eva pilot that she would answer his questions. It seemed to work.

She glanced behind at him quickly with a frown on her face as though still unsure if she was angry at him or not. 'Oh what the hell. I do have the best combat record,' she thought.

"The tests are simple enough, at least most of them. Today will be nothing more than a synchronization test."

"And what does that mean?" Shinji didn't want to ask to much and anger her so he thought to ask the basics only.

"For an idiot like you it means nothing more than becoming used to being in the entry plug."

Shinji wanted to throw back a retort but thought better and bit his tongue, at least they were talking now.

"So we won't be doing any simulations?"

"No! You won't be for a while. You're barely able to synchronize with your Eva. It'll take you months to get to the level that I'm at."

"And what about Rei?"

Asuka's mood turned sour at her name and spun around and Shinji was glad that he had maintained a good distance between them as she looked like she was ready to hit him.

"What about her!"

"Nothing, I just wondered how long she had been a pilot is all."

Asuka glared at him before turning around and stomping off, "Ask her yourself you dumb ass!"

Shinji was left standing still on the sidewalk with a frown on his face. 'So much for the brief minutes of talking,' he thought before catching up to her slightly.

Shinji was thoroughly glad that he had Asuka and Rei with him, he would never be able to find his way in Nerv. All the crisscrossing hallways made him nauseous. Then he remembered that his father was somewhere in this mess and felt like puking even more.

* * *

After what seemed like an hour they walked into a room similar to the one that Shinji had been in previously. Except this one had a window that showed the three Eva's lined up next to each other waiting for there pilots. Shinji guess that this is where they would be syncing. Next second it was confirmed when he heard a familiar voice.

"Glad you could make it Shinji."

Shinji turned around to see a smiling Misato standing in front of him.

Shinji grinned, but it was rather strained. Misato seemed to notice this and said, "Don't worry you'll be fine."

"Yeah..."

"Everything is ready so just go change into your plug suits and we can get this over with."

Asuka and Rei seemed to understand her words because they left through a door to the left leaving Shinji standing there confused.

"Err Misato, what do you mean by plug suits?"

Misato let out a small oh as if she had forgotten something, which she did. "I completely forgot that you haven't even piloted in a plug suit before which is surprising. It shows your potential as a pilot."

Shinji wasn't sure that was a complement or not so just let her continue.

"Anyway take that door at your right in the far corner and find a locker that says Shinji on it. I think the number was 203, or something."

"But what is a plug suit?"

Misato frowned, "I knew that you and Asuka hadn't been getting along but I assumed that she'd explain some things to you."

"I really hadn't tried, its better to let her cool off instead of forcing her to."

"Well, anyway, in simple terms the plug suit synchronizes you with your Eva. However the fact that you are able to sync with your Eva...by other methods means that maybe you wont have to use one. This is still all just tests. Oh and there be some blue clips in their also, put those on your head."

Shinji tried to keep all this in his head, as he followed Misato's instructions.

After several annoying minutes of getting used to the fabric which was unbearably tight after pressing a button he found that Misato had failed to mention Shinji walked out of the boys locker room, clipping the nerve receptors onto his head.

Shinji had admit-tingly thought that Asuka was cute when he had first seen her, and had realized that she was even more attractive now that he got to know her, this however blew him away. He hadn't even thought about the fact that she would be wearing a plug suit also and it hit him like a piano when he saw her in the bright red plug suit. It complemented her curves precisely and there was no lack of anything. He considered himself not overly perverted but this pushed the limits.

Asuka must have caught him gaping openly because she tossed her hair behind her head and seemed to give a seducing smile towards him. This pulled Shinji out of his stupor and he had to curse himself slightly for his stupidity. It was obvious that she had been expecting this kind of reaction from him and was throughly enjoying it.

Determinedly wrenching his eyes away from her they instead settled on Rei. Her plug suit was more or less the same as his except more white while his was largely blue.

Misato appeared to witness this whole ordeal and let it continue until things seemed to pass.

"Now then you know what to do...Shinji just follow the girls and ask if you have any questions."

'Not like I'll get them answered if I ask,' he thought bitterly as he stared at Asuka's back.

* * *

'So far so good,' Shinji thought as he finished strapping himself in to Eva Unit 01. Looking at the monitor he saw that Asuka and Rei had done likewise. Suddenly Misato's voice came over on the loud speaker.

"OK everything is ready on our end. Go ahead and start concentrating you guys. I want to get this done as quickly as possible."

Shinji assumed that she was worried about him and rather thankful at that. Gathering everything that he could remember during his past fights in the Eva he closed his eyes and solely concentrated on something he never thought he would, syncing with the voice that had plagued his dreams.

Almost immediately he heard a small whisper and soon it developed into a strong voice.

"_Glad your finally getting the time to get to know me better."_

Shinji was quiet as he didn't want anything to interfere with his thought process.

"_Thats rather rude, ignoring me like that. What, did your parents never teach you any manners?"_

Something sparked in Shinji's mind, but he was quickly able to pass it off. However it was noticed in the command room.

"Anomaly detected in Unit 01."

Misato immediately spun in the direction of the voice and barked. "What is it?"

"Wait...nothing, it disappeared."

Misato frowned worriedly and said, "Keep an eye on Unit 01 and let me know if anything changes."

"Yes ma'am!"

Back in Unit 01 Shinji was starting to sweat from concentrating, that and the voice was really starting to get on his nerves.

"_So ready for the next angel attack? I know I am. Just let me know and I'll rip it to shreds. What I wouldn't give for a good blood bath right now."_

"Shut...it," whispered Shinji.

"_Here I am trying to strike up a conversation with you and thats all you can say, phish, ass."_

Shinji then started to talk to the voice deep in his subconscious. "Okay fine, we'll talk."

"_Good, because its boring if you don't."_

"What or who are you?"

"_The thing that lives inside of the Eva."_

Shinji was startled by this new streak of information and it showed with his sync ratio.

Gaining control of his thoughts he said, "What do you mean the thing that lives inside the Eva?"

"_Those humans don't tell you much do they."_

Shinji didn't want to admit it but the voice was right. "I never asked, but what are you."

"_An entity, thats good enough for now."_

"Fine, why me?"

"_You intrigue me, simple enough. You're different then all the other humans that have ever piloted me. At first I thought about killing you but after looking inside of your soul I learned a few things about you that made me curious."_

"And those things are?"

"_Stuff that you wouldn't want to know. Put it this way, your better of not knowing."_

"And if I still want to know?"

"_Most likely you'll go insane from it and thats not happening anytime soon. I need you sane, so don't even ask."_

"Fine then do you have anything to do with the visions that I am having. Ever since I pilot you the first time I've been having visions of people that I know or events that may or not happen. I damn sick of them."

"_I can't control things that happen outside of this small space, so I have no idea what your babbling about."_

"Fine, thanks for nothing."

"_Anytime."_

Shinji lapsed into silence as he felt his conscious slide back to where he currently was. Opening one of his eyes he glanced at a screen to his right and saw Asuka with her eyes closed doing the same thing that he was doing. Unable to hold back the smirk after getting another look at her red plug suit he turned away quickly so as to not interrupt his concentration.

Then, the pain hit him. Shinji felt like his mind was going to split down the middle as reality was torn from him. Flashes passed him as he saw a dark room with the walls lit up in red, a sea the color of blood, his mother who he could barely remember smiling back at him before she turned into a creature with no face. Nothing was real and everyone was gone. It was just Shinji inside the entry plug of Eva Unit 01 screaming like he was wounded.

Misato reacted quickly at the first sound of Shinji's screams. "Disengage the umbilical cords for all three Eva's, and get Rei and Asuka out of there as quickly as possible. Status of Eva Unit 01?"

"Pilot live signs are fluctuating abnormally. The LCL fluid inside the entry plug is heating up, passing normal temperatures...critical reached."

"Entry plug removal for Unit 00 and Unit 02 have been confirmed, pilots safe."

"Get them the hell out of there! Try removing the entry plug for Unit 01."

"Negative it will not recognize the signature."

Misato bit her nail in fear. When someone alerted her of something important.

"Commander Misato you might want to look at this."

"What," she snapped.

"Its Unit 01's sync rate."

Misato was over there in a flash and froze when she saw the synchronization between the pilot and the Eva. It was fluctuating from plus one hundred to negative one hundred something that had never been seen before.

In a shaky voice Misato managed to get the words out, "Record this...for future reference."

"Yes ma'am."

Getting a hold of her feelings for Shinji who's screams had subsided she looked back at the screen where his life signs were unknown.

"Does Unit 01 appear to be going berserk."

"It does not appear to be so."

Misato bit her nail again and said, "Get a team down there to restrain the Eva, and if you see any signs of movement get the hell back here. I don't want anyones life in danger."

At this moment Asuka came bursting into the command room with Rei behind her with a somewhat passive look.

"What the hell is going on, why did you call of the tests!"

Misato did not want to deal with this right now and ignored Asuka who was not happy about it.

"Misato what is going on!"

"Shinji's life is currently in danger and we are trying to recover him, that is the current situation!"

Asuka was slightly taken back as Misato had never snapped at her like that before. Her mood changed from one to anger to one of slight worry. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know but the last reading we got the temperature in Unit 01 was well over one hundred twenty degrees Fahrenheit. Since then its most likely climbed. Then...then there's his syncro rate. At times it was in the negatives which is supposed to be impossible and then it would jump up to a hundred which is equally impossible. Its like the Eva wants to kill him but is having second thoughts."

All Asuka could mange was a slight, "Oh." Finding a nearby chair she let herself sink into it and look up at the monitor which was fuzzy.

Turning back towards the problem Misato said on the loud speaker, "How does it look down there?"

"Nothing's wrong, Unit 01 is showing no signs of moving, proceeding with containment and the rescuing of the pilot."

Misato let out a strangled sigh and sank into a seat near her. Soon it would be all over and they'd be able to brush it off as a minor incident. But she knew it wasn't the case this time. If the Eva continued to do this to Shinji then she wouldn't be able to sit by and watch it.

After several tense minutes of praying that nothing would go wrong the team on the floor managed to manually extract the entry plug from the Eva. LCL fluid poured from the open entry plug and Misato stood up and almost rushed down to the floor.

"We've got him, he's unconscious but miraculously alive."

Misato let out a strangled sigh and suddenly felt like having several beers. It had been to close.

"There's something though, while the LCL was close to two hundred degrees in there his body is oddly cold. The only thing the LCL fluid seemed to destroy was his plug suit."

"So what he's naked?"

"...Well, yeah."

Misato could have almost laughed. "Take him to the emergency room. I'll have doctor Akagi be ready for you when you get there."

Slouching deeper in her chair she spun around in her chair to see Asuka sitting there with her legs drawn up to her chest.

"Well he's okay," smiled Misato.

Asuka nodded in a forlorn sort of way. Misato had an idea though that might perk her up a little.

"Though I have no idea why, but he was for some reason naked in the entry plug when they found him. The LCL fluid burned off just the plug suit but his body was quite cold."

Asuka's face turned a small shade of pink before she stood up and said, "Why the hell are you telling me something as disgusting as that. As if I'd want to know...how he was."

Misato let out the first smile since since the whole ordeal and stood up. "Well, lets at least be sure that he is completely okay before we start celebrating."

Asuka snorted but followed her all the same.

* * *

"This is...familiar."

Shinji sat up in his hospital bed and felt his temples sear with pain. Whatever had happened it he couldn't remember anything. He remembered he had just taken a peek at Asuka before he blacked out. Now he was in a hospital room, naked, with a few chairs around his bed and his sheets bearing signs that someone had been sitting on them.

"Looks like you finally woke up Shinji."

Shinji shifted so that he was facing the door and saw Ritsuko leaning against the wall with a cigarette in her hand.

Shinji's first intentions where to ask what happened but Ritsuko beat him to it.

"Don't worry about what happened, your safe and everybody's fine. You've been through a lot and are lucky to be alive. I'm keeping you here for two days at least to be sure. But I suppose I shouldn't badger you anymore, someone's been bothering me every few minutes to see if your awak-"

With that Ritsuko was pushed to the side as Misato darted into the room with a rather reluctant looking Asuka and a passive Rei in tow.

"Shinji! Oh thank God you're okay. I knew it was a bad idea to have you do the tests."

"Misato calm down, I'm fine."

"But you almost weren't, everyone was worried."

Shinji raised an eyebrow and looked over at Asuka who glared at him as though daring him to ask if she had been worried.

"Glad that everyone was worried."

"Yes, well, I'm going to go ahead and have the commander pull you off of Unit 01. Its apparent that no one is able to handle it."

"No, I'm going to continue piloting it."

A long silence filled the room at Shinji's words. Misato was dumbfounded, even Asuka seemed to be surprised. Only Rei showed signs of knowing about his decision all along.

"But Shinji after what almost happened to you...I can't possibly put you inside that thing. What if something similar happens while in a battle."

Shaking his head Shinji said, "And what happens if you need help. I'm the only person who's ever been able to pilot it, besides I'm supposed to be dead now so for the fact that I survived I should be the pilot."

Misato opened her mouth to argue again but Shinji cut her off. "I'm sorry Misato but I don't want it any other way. I want to help all I can and if piloting an Eva is what I can do I'll do it.

"Enough with the sympathy already," said an irritated Asuka. "He's healed and stubborn once again, can we leave now?"

"Don't act like you weren't worried Asuka," smirked Misato.

Asuka blinked, "Not a chance. Why would I worry about him?"

Shinji frowned at Asuka but ignored it. She'd always be the same, well he'd open up if she ever did.

Misato sighed and said, "Fine we'll head home for now, but be back later with some fresh cooking. Hospital food can get sickening quickly."

Asuka suddenly realized that she'd have to survive two days without Shinji to cook for her. Glaring at him in an annoyed sort of way as though it was his fault he was injured she mouthed, "Get well soon, or I'll be dead of food poisoning before you get back."

Shinji smiled and mouthed, "Will do," back.

Asuka's face seemed to twitch slightly as she appeared to be working up the power for a smile. Though halfway through it turned into more of a grimace at which point she turned around quickly and stormed out of the room.

Misato and Shinji frowned at her but both started laughing silently. Regaining control of herself Misato said, "Don't pay to much attention to what Asuka says Shinji, she was worried, just didn't want to show it."

"I've long since realized that."

"Well, you seem fine so no point in taking anymore time. I'm sure Ritsuko will want to run some more tests on you so I won't get in her way anymore."

"Thanks, Misato."

"Don't worry about it. I am your guardian after all."

That ment a lot to Shinji but he wasn't about to say that. He still had trouble expressing his feelings sometimes.

"I'll see you later today then, with dinner."

Shinji tried to not look sick, "Okay I'll be waiting."

When Misato left the room Shinji was about to roll onto his side and fall back asleep when he realized that not everyone had left the room.

"Why did you decide to continue piloting it," asked Rei?

Shinji sat up slowly and looked at her curiously. Since he had met Ayanami Rei he had only ever seen her talk to himself. Shrugging Shinji said, "I don't know. I feel like I'll regret it if I don't do something I guess."

"So you're doing because you want to, not because other people have told you to."

Shinji replied slowly, "Yes other people have asked me to but its still my decision to pilot it."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm me. How can I not be sure about the things that I decide?"

Rei then lapsed into silence as though not sure how to continue.

"If your done with questioning me I'd be thankful if you left so I can get some sleep."

Rei looked at him curiously for a second and then quietly excused herself from his room.

Shinji then rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes. However whenever he would he saw the horrible things that were shown to him in the entry plug. He ended up not sleeping that night.


	6. Past and Present

Shinji was released from the hospital earlier then expected as he had recovered surprisingly quickly and he didn't show any signs of mental contamination. So Misato quickly ran home and dropped him off before rushing back to Nerv saying that she'd be working late again and to worry about making enough food for her.

Shinji was rather hesitant as he stood outside of Misato's apartment. He hadn't talked to Asuka since he had been admitted to the hospital and was worried if she'd blow up in his face. Though he was saved the need to as the door came flying open and almost hit him in the face.

"About time your back, I though I was going to die."

Shinji looked up and turned his head quickly as he got a glimpse of Asuka who was in nothing but a red towel. Shinji tried desperately not to think about her in her plug suit then. Asuka however noticed him turn away quickly and looked down at herself apparently just realizing what she was wearing.

"Ah never seen a girl this close to being naked? Turns you on a little doesn't it?"

Shinji didn't want to admit that what she said was true so he just pushed past her. "Just get dressed already, I don't know what you're thinking opening the door while wearing nothing but a towel."

"If it wasn't you or Misato I would have simply kicked them in the balls, course I might do the same to you anyway."

Shinji whipped around and faced her. Asuka was rather startled but stood her ground. "What!"

Shinji glared at her for a moment but sighed and said, "Sorry, I'm just a little agitated is all."

"I suppose I'd be annoyed too if I had to stay two days stuck in that damn hospital room. Anyway I'm sick of take out food and microwaved meals, I want some real food."

"Hai, I'll get started."

"Good, and don't-"

"No way in hell would I peek, just move it!"

Asuka was startled by his outburst and slightly rebuked herself for egging him on. Shrugging she let it drop and walked into her room.

"Well, I suppose its adequate to say the least," said Asuka as soon as she finished Shinji's cooking which consisted of her favorite: Sauerkraut.

Shinji almost snorted. He knew that it was more then adequate and that she had almost been starving herself for two days.

"When is Misato supposed to be home anyway," asked Asuka?

"No idea. Late tonight I think."

"Great, well no way am I going to stay here with you."

"Fine, leave for all I care."

Asuka hadn't really been serious when she had said that she was leaving, she just wanted to see what Shinji's reaction would have been. Though from his reaction she guessed that he really didn't care and was slightly hurt by that.

"Fine! If you don't care then I will leave!"

Standing up abruptly she let her plate fall to the floor and storm off to her room where she tossed on a red sweatshirt with a hood.

Shinji had half a mind to stop her and was just about to say he was sorry when she stormed out of her room before pausing and throwing a dirty scowl in his direction. As she turned around Shinji lunged forward and grabbed her wrist and waited for her reaction as she turned slowly around.

"Let go damn it!"

Shinji hesitated but let his grip slack, and she was able to wrench her wrist free of his hand. Rubbing her wrist in a confused sort of way she looked back at Shinji who had his eyes angled towards the ground.

'What was that,' she thought? 'He actually seemed strong.'

Ignoring her thought she said. "What, do you want to say something?"

Shinji opened his mouth and closed it, unsure of how he should proceed.

"If your not going to say anything then I'm leaving!"

"Wait...Asuka."

Asuka had her hand on the door nob as he said this and paused trying to decide whether she should listen or ignore him. She didn't really want to leave if she was honest with herself. Turning around slowly she said, "I'm listening."

Shinji fidgeted slightly before looking up at her hesitantly. "I'm sorry for snapping at you..."

"What was that?"

"I'm sorry okay! I didn't mean what I said about not caring. Truth is I do."

Asuka frowned at him for a second before walking past him. Shinji winced slightly as he thought that he was going to get hit as she walked by but opened his eyes when he realized that she had already walked past. Sighing in a reassuring way he almost jumped several feet in the air as he heard her whisper behind him, "Good, because I didn't want to in the first place."

Shinji let out a reluctant smile that he hoped that she wouldn't see. Giving her a few seconds he just had time to see her walking into the living room throwing off the sweatshirt as she walked giving him a brief view of her bareback. Tossing these thoughts to the side he started walking towards the kitchen to clean up when he saw her poke her head into the hallway.

"Are you coming or what?"

Shinji's face showed total confusion as he looked back at her. Asuka sighed in an annoyed sort of way and jerked her finger towards the living room.

"I'm telling you to get over here. I don't care whether you watch what I'm watching or read a book, but I'm giving you the day off so forget about the dishes. Misato can clean then for once."

Did Shinji hear that right? Did Asuka want to spend time with him actually?

"Uh sure..."

As Shinji walked hesitantly into the living room he had to refrain from quickly peeking in. Most of the time when Shinji or Asuka were alone by themselves at home Asuka forbade Shinji from stepping into the living room. So he usually spent most of his time in his bedroom listening to his SDAT.

Asuka was sprawled on her back on the couch with her head tilted up looking at the T.V. She must have heard Shinji cause she sat up briefly and pointed to a spot on the floor. Shinji nodded and ran into his room to grab a book. While she was watching something that wasn't German it was still a Japanese soap opera.

Even though they were in the same room together, any forms of conversation was dropped dead when they were started. Neither were really sure what to say to the other as they were usually glaring at each other. Several times Shinji tried to ask her something but she either waved him off because it was an important part in her T.V. show or she frowned at him and ignored his question. Shinji was starting to wonder why he had even agreed to be in the living room with her.

Shinji was just starting to think of getting up when a question that he would never thought of normally hit his brain.

"Um Asuka?"

"Hmmm?" She was to fixated on her program to reply.

"What are your parents like?"

Shinji could tell that it wasn't something she didn't enjoyed talking about as her entire body seemed to seize up. Attempting to fix what he just uttered he said, "I-I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it, its fine."

Asuka slowly turned her head towards him and frowned at him. It wasn't one of her usually frowns which showed annoyance, it was more curious.

"Why do you want to know?" She asked slowly.

Shinji hesitated, "I don't know...I've never really known what a family is like. I told you that my father moved me around from place to place, right."

Asuka thought about it for a minute and remembered what Shinji had told her after he pilot Unit 01 for the first time. She nodded.

"I don't have any idea what a family is like because my mother died when I was young. I don't even know what she looked like. I've never been shown pictures of her and my father doesn't seem to care. I was just told that she died in a lab accident. Misato is more of a mother than anyone I've ever known, though I suppose she can double as a father also, with all the beer she drinks."

Asuka had to repress a smile at Shinji's words, though he noticed it anyway.

"So I guess what I'm saying is I just want to know what a real family is like."

There, back to the subject of her family. It was a subject that Asuka hated to discuss and had long since buried painful memories. Turning off the T.V. that she no longer had an urge to watch she looked back at Shinji and said, "I'd rather not talk about it."

Shinji had expected this when he saw that she seemed to seize up, but was curious anyway.

"Thats okay, if you don't want to talk about it I can understand that."

"So you're mother is dead, and you consider Misato to be your mother."

Shrugging Shinji said, "Compared to all the other roommates that I've ever known she is the most caring out of all them. Though that doesn't mean much as almost all of my other roommates were either partying or drunk."

"So then what do you consider me as..."

Shinji was caught of guard for a moment and was unsure what to say. He had said that he considered Asuka a friend, the first that he had ever had. But fights between them seemed to break out continuously and it was hard to get along with somebody who seemed ready to kick you in the balls at any second.

Shrugging Shinji said, "I honestly don't know anymore."

Asuka frowned, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I told you that I considered you a friend, the first one I ever made."

"Yeah..."

"We fight so much that I don't know if we even are friends anymore."

Asuka looked at Shinji for a minute, confused at what he ment. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you always picking on me and calling me stupid!" Shinji blurted out. "Why do you always seem to put me down! Have you once cared about how I feel, no! Its all about you, its always been about you."

Asuka was silent as Shinji let out all of his frustration about her attitude towards him. She didn't know what to say. It was just how she was. She had never worried about other people's feeling because nobody seemed to care about what she felt. Her own-

"Shinji..."

"What!" He snapped back.

"I'd rather not argue with you right now."

"Who's arguing!"

"Just shut it...please..."

It was the please more than anything that calmed Shinji down. He could never remember hearing her voice as soft as this, or the words please coming out of her mouth.

Sitting up, he was about to return to his room as he knew that an outburst from the two of them was soon to follow but he was surprised when her words stopped him.

"Wait, Shinji..."

Shinji looked over his shoulder to see Asuka sitting up with a meek expression on her face. "What," he said, but it was much calmer.

Asuka leaned back into the couch cushions and bit her lip. "I-I...I'm sorry damn it."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "You...sorry?"

"Yes, is that so weird?"

"Actually yes, I've never heard you say you were sorry for anything."

"Well, now you have."

"And?"

"And what!"

"What is that supposed to do? Your sorry, cool. Not like you can reverse everything that you've ever said or did to me."

Asuka had never received verbal abuse anywhere near close to what Shinji was dishing and felt like she was close to tears.

"Damn it Shinji, what do you want me to do!"

Shrugging he said, "I don't know. I really don't anymore."

"Tell me then ass-hole!"

"This is exactly what I mean. You give no regard to what other peoples feelings are."

Asuka was slightly abashed but retorted back. "How do you even know what other people's emotion are? You've never had a friend in your life!"

Asuka flinched then as Shinji took several quick steps over to her and was fearful that he was about to hit her, or worse. Instead Shinji glared down at her and said, "I may not have many friends but I understand people a lot better than you."

Shinji realized that he had gone to far then as Asuka looked tearfully back up at him. All the anger seemed to drain out of Shinji as he took a few steps back and sank to the floor. Asuka meanwhile laid back down on the couch and turned her body so that she was facing the couch.

After several minutes Shinji broke the silence by saying, "Sorry what I just said, it was rude." She responded by hiccuping slightly.

After several painful moments of deciding whether to continue the conversation, Shinji was about to stand up when he saw that Asuka had beat him to it. Whether she had cried silent tears or whether she had already used them all up he wasn't sure, as her face was dry and looking at him. Seconds later Asuka motioned for him to sit next to her. Shinji twitched at this gesture. He wanted to repair what had already transpired, but wasn't sure if it would even matter.

"Are you sure." Shinji asked hesitantly.

Asuka nodded but it was her eyes that Shinji was watching. They showed sincerity and Shinji excepted that.

Sitting down silently next to Asuka he glanced at her and saw that her eyes were staring at the ground. 'Give her as much time as she needs,' Shinji told himself.

After what seemed an eternity Asuka slowly opened her mouth. "I don't know why I always put you down, I really don't. But-" She paused unsure if she should go on. It was still painful. But he shared and now it was her turn.

"You could compare our childhoods and see similarities."

Shinji was startled to no end and gaped confusedly back at her. "What!"

"I said that from the sound of it we both had troubling childhood!"

"You don't have to yell."

"...Sorry."

"Its fine."

Asuka nodded and continued. "My mother like yours died early, she worked at Nerv. I remember her though, slightly. I get my hair from her. My father though...he remarried and we were happy for a while. But then...he caught my stepmother sleeping with another man, and she left him for him."

Shinji was silent but a creese was steadily started to form on his forehead.

"My father sort of lost it after that...he started drinking heavily. I'd come home some nights and he'd be completely drunk, smelling of booze. Sometimes he'd confuse me for his first wife, my mother, and attack me in a drunken rage. By then I'd starting learning stuff on my own...I think I was six or seven at the time...he rarely remembered my birthdays."

Shinji's frown was now very noticeable and his knuckles were starting to turn white. He also noticed that Asuka's voice was starting to get softer and softer."

She continued. "My father slept with so many different women over those three years that I can't count the times that he kept me up at night, with his fucking around." It was the first time that her voice showed a hatred that Shinji had not yet seen. It was something that he had never experienced.

"Several times he'd beat me when he got home, either after a long night of drinking, or after being dumped by another woman. I called 911 several times but each time they showed up he brushed it off as a minor attitude adjustment, saying that I had just had a temper tantrum and that it was all resolved. I don't think I've had a temper tantrum since I was five years old."

"I remember I took a test...on my own, my IQ was high enough for it. I had saved up enough money to pay for it. It was to get into a college in Germany. I studied like crazy and starting to distance myself from my so called father. He realized this but ignored it, saying that I'd turn into a slut like all the other woman that he'd ever met."

Shinji's face was obviously showing rage but he tried to downplay it. Asuka paused here and took a deep and Shinji saw that she hesitated.

"Its okay if you don't want to continue."

Asuka shook her head, "I've buried this for so long. I'm rather glad to get it off my chest."

"You sure?"

Asuka nodded, and continued. "I had just turned ten, and was excited to get into the college, and get away from my father. He came back one night though, heavily drunk." Asuka's voice broke here and she started to shake uncontrollably. Shinji had never been in a situation like this before and wasn't sure how he should react.

"M-My father attacked me in a drunken rage...he...he mistook me for my mother. For awhile...he had stopped abusing me...because I had called the police so...much that they were suspicious. He didn't...gi..give me a chance to get to the phone." Asuka then put both hands up to her face and mumbled, "He tried...t-to...ra-rape me."

If Shinji had been clenching something it would have shattered. Boiling hatred the likes of which he never new surfaced. His hatred of his own father couldn't even compare to what he felt like doing to this bastard.

Asuka meanwhile had her faced buried in her hands and was crying silently. She had always built up a strong front, that she was invulnerable to anything. This though was something that she had always buried deep. Nobody knew about this except for the psychiatrist that she met frequently after her father had tried to rape her. Now Shinji knew.

Shinji looked helplessly back at Asuka who was still crying silently. What should he do? Ignore what she said and act as though it was in the past and everything was okay. Maybe if he was the Shinji from several weeks ago he would have. Now was different.

Without even hesitating he leaned his arm behind Asuka's back, which was easy as she was leaning forward with her face buried in her hands. At first he thought about patting her on the back, reassuring her that everything was okay. Instead though he decided to bring her into a comforting hug. Though it appeared that he didn't have to take the initiative as Asuka leaned into it as though waiting for his touch.

Soon Shinji had his hands wrapped around Asuka's middle as she cried silently into his shoulder. "Its okay," he mumbled. She seemed glad that somebody was just there for her.

After several odd minutes for Shinji, Asuka pulled back as though realizing what she was doing. "Sorry you had to see that."

"Don't feel bad about it. Nobody should have to carry something like that. Makes my sufferings seem like a joke."

Asuka let out a small hiccup and put a hand to her mouth as though embarrassed by showing this much emotion. "You wont tell anyone, will you."

Shinji shook his head, "I don't even want to think about it. I'm so mad I'd kill him if I saw him right now."

"You'd have to beat me to it."

It felt weird that they could talk about something this disturbing so calmly. But Shinji knew otherwise, he knew that Asuka was hurting.

"We should probably get to bed," Shinji finally said.

Asuka nodded her consent and sat up quickly as though determined that she was first to get to her room first. Shinji however caught her wrist, worried about her.

"You're okay right?"

Asuka seemed to revert back to her normal self slightly as she said to Shinji, "What, thinking that I'll need somebody to sleep next to tonight?"

Shinji could have laughed, glad that she seemed to be back to her usual teasing self. Playing along he said, "Only if you want me to."

"Get real. The day I let you sleep with me is the day Third Impact is initiated."

"You better hope that never happens then."

Asuka's face turned pink slightly as she just realized the very real possibility of that happening. Marching back to her door she slid it open and slammed it closed with her foot.

Shinji sighed at the obvious revert to her usual self. Though he hoped that things would have improved between them. Walking back to his room he opened the door and sat down on his futon, looking up at the ceiling. If only he knew that Asuka was doing the same thing.

Breakfast the next morning was subdued from the moment the two entered the kitchen. Misato realized that something must have happened last night between the two, because every time they looked at each other they quickly turned away.

"Well, I'm off to work, then. See you two later."

Asuka and Shinji didn't even say anything, or nod for that matter. Shinji didn't want to bring up last night, or rather he wouldn't if Asuka didn't want him to. He really couldn't blame her.

After a few minutes of silence Shinji said, "Lets get ready for school, I'll start making lunch."

Asuka nodded and slid off her chair and slowly walked to her room to take a shower and change. Shinji sighed when she was no longer in view. Really he preferred the annoying, slightly bitchy Asuka to the one that he had to walk to school with.

After making their lunches Shinji waited for a while for Asuka to come out of her room fully dressed. However when he didn't even hear the sound of the shower running he walked over to her door and said quietly, "You ready?"

What came back was her usual tone, "Leave me alone, baka."

Shinji sighed and leaned his back against the wall opposite her door. After a moments pause he said, "If you don't want to go to school just say so."

Shinji thought he heard an intake of breath and then the release of the breath. "Fine..."

"I'll get the work that you'll miss."

"Whatever."

Shinji thought about opening the door to her room but was afraid that she might throw something at him. So he grabbed his lunch off the counter, turned around and whispered a small, "See you later," before walking out the door.

Asuka meanwhile had her face buried in her pillow, trying to forget about her past.

School seemed rougher for some reason without Asuka with him. Maybe it was the fact that half the school seemed to think that they were going out and Asuka would kill them if they said anything bad to Shinji. So Shinji was battered with questions repeatedly about where Asuka was. At one point somebody asked where his bitch was, referring to Asuka. Shinji had almost smashed the guy's head on the sink fountain, but Kensuke pulled him away before he had a chance to.

So Shinji stormed up the stairs to the top of the school were he usually went for seclusion and was very annoyed that Kensuke was following him with a rather reluctant Touji behind him.

"Shinji what the fuck was that all about?" Kensuke rarely swore unless something was really bothering him.

"Shut it Kensuke!"

"Ah did you two get in a fight," smirked Touji.

Shinji rounded on him, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" These bastards couldn't understand the torment that Asuka was dealing with right now.

Touji seemed rather startled and took a few steps backwards as soon as Shinji let go of him. Shinji was a lot stronger then he had given him credit for.

"Damn, don't have to flip out over a stupid comment," said Touji.

"You have no idea what your talking about so just shut the fuck up!"

"Ah, did you get her pregnant and now you've got to man-up because of it."

Shinji probably would have cracked Touji's skull open then if Rei didn't come walking onto the scene. To any normal person who saw what was going they would have ran to the nearest teacher and got the fight broken up. Rei however gave no noticed that Shinji was just about to kill someone and said calmly, "Shinji the principal wants to see us."

Shinji's face relaxed slightly as he looked back at her. "Both of us?"

Rei nodded silently, turned, and walked back down the flight of stairs.

Shinji waited a few seconds, still deciding whether he should smash Touji's head in. After deciding the last thing he needed right now was expulsion, he gave both of them a disgusting look, and followed Rei at a brisk pace down the stairs.

After a hasty discussion with the principle, in which Shinji had learned that Misato had called the school when Asuka didn't answer hers, the two learned that an angel had appeared off the coast of China and had reduced the defense there to rubble.

Now the two of them were racing along in a Nerv jeep that had picked them up moments before. Shinji was tempted to run home really quick and grab Asuka, but decide that she didn't need a life or death battle right now.

The entrance to the Geofront may have been ten miles away from school but the driver made in there in seven minutes. Shinji rolled out of the car and for once wishing that Misato had been driving. Rei jumped out of the jeep quite effortlessly and started trotting slightly towards the command center.

Misato greeted them and the gave them a few minor details. The angel seemed to be able detect when a hostile enemy approached and responded directly to that attack obliterating it in an instance. China apparently had discovered a weakness in its attack pattern though. A small window of three seconds appeared during which it wasn't able to use its positron particle beam. They were supposed to be aiming for that narrow window. Unit 00 would attack the target while Unit 01 would use a positron rifle to shoot it straight through the middle where the core was expected to be. Asuka was supposed to provide back up for Rei if anything happened but things had changed and Shinji was now pulled aside as Misato asked about Asuka.

"How come Asuka wasn't at school?"

Shinji had just changed into his plug suit and was still trying to get used to the feeling of the fabric. Without averted his eyes from Misato he said, "She said she was sick, didn't feel well."

Misato frowned, "But why didn't you pick her up on the way here? Rei's job becomes much for dangerous without the backup from Asuka."

Shrugging Shinji said, "I didn't think she'd be able to concentrate properly."

Misato frowned, "While I'm glad that you're worried about her, concentration isn't affected by temporary things like that."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

Shinji passed Misato without another word, while Misato was slightly surprised. Did she and Shinji just have there first argument?

Soon Shinji was sent up elevator number five which would take him directly to the positron rifle. The angel, dubbed Ramiel, was hovering directly above Tokyo-3 as though waiting for something.

Shinji quickly adjusted the positron rifle and aimed his sights down at the target. "Misato I've got the angel in my sights."

Misato didn't answer him at first but instead checked a monitor on the screen. It showed that Shinji's sync rate was currently holding steady at fifty-nine.

'Well, he's improved so I suppose that I won't reprimand him for his attitude earlier,' thought Misato.

Turning back towards the monitor she said, "Okay Shinji. We've got one shot at this before we have to recharge the rifle, so make it count."

Shinji nodded and disengaged the radio from Misato. He needed to focus solely on hitting his target. Almost immediately thoughts of Asuka rushed through his head as he wondered how she was cooping back home. He was quick to push these thoughts aside though as he saw Rei take action.

Unit 00 dashed down the slope at break neck speed and charged head on at the angel. Sensing danger the angel quickly sent out a particle beam at Unit 00. Twisting around, Unit 00 jumped out of the way as the mass of energy flew past it, torching the earth behind it.

Shinji knew that he would have only one chance and that he would have to choose it extremely carefully. He watched as Rei dodged another mass of energy.

Unit 00 started jumping from one spot to another, trying to get the angel to shoot at it. However the angel did not sense an immediate threat and paused once more.

"I'm detecting high heat sources inside of the angel commander."

Misato spun around and quickly looked as the angel's heat parameters were put on screen.

Misato looked at it for a moment. It seemed as though the angel was building up a large amount energy at the very bottom of its body.

"Shit!"

Everyone looked around the control room as Misato swore. Biting her nail she glared back at the monitor and thought, 'With that much energy built up, that angel will be able to puncture a hole directly to the Geofront.'

Grabbing a nearby headset she quickly yelled into it alerting Shinji and Rei, "Rei, Shinji, back off, we've got a problem."

Shinji let out a giant breath as he was just mentally preparing himself to fire. Rei and Unit 00 quickly backed away to where Shinji and Unit 01 were laying down in the grass with the positron rifle.

"What's wrong Misato?"

"I have no idea if its a problem or not but the angel is showing strong heat signatures at the lowest point of its body. If enough energy is built up the possibility of it tearing directly through the forty-five layers of steel to the Geofront."

Everyone was silent in the command center. Shinji didn't have enough knowledge of what was inside the Geofront to understand the severity of this.

"I want an estimate of how long we have until enough energy is built up to pierce the layers."

"Umm judging by the power of an individual positron wave, the computer shows that we have ten minutes to stop the discharge."

"Shinji is the positron gun still ready."

"Hai."

"Good, ten minutes is a long time. Get to it. Rei, cover him, if the angel shows any signs of attacking Shinji."

"Hai."

Misato then sank down in her chair and let out a low sigh. 'I'm gonna need a long time at the bar to clear this one up.'

Shinji quickly readjusted his sights on the angel again and waited patiently for an opening.

Unit 00 charged again down the hill towards the angel. This time the angel, sensing danger, split itself into an exact replica. Two blue diamonds were now floating over Tokyo-3. The replica fire off a positron beam directly at Unit 00. Rei managed to roll out of the way as the positron beam flew over her.

Kicking up dirt as she skidded across the ground, Rei spun around and barely managed to dodge another wave as it almost tore off Unit 00's left arm. Running parallel on the side of a hill Unit 00 jumped in the air and went flying towards the replica of the angel. The replica fired off a positron wave which Rei was forced to roll over to avoid.

Unit 00 suddenly did a downward dive at the angel. The replica put forth an AT-field as Unit 00 neared it. Copying its enemy, Rei put forth the most power full AT-field that she could muster and ripped a small hole open in the replica's AT-field. Quick as a flash she drew the progressive knife in the shoulder holster of her Eva and threw it straight through the opening. The progressive knife made a deep puncture directly where the positron wave was fired.

Suddenly the angel let out an ear splitting shriek that sounded like finger nails on a chalk bored. A white light appeared from inside the replica and soon filled the entire of Tokyo-3 in a blinding white light. Then, it started to fall apart. The white turn to black instantly and the seemed to be falling apart, piece by piece, almost as if it was a puzzle. The replica imploded on itself and showered Tokyo-3 in small droplets of black blood.

Shinji's concentration was halted for a second as he watched this all unfold but heard Misato yelling something.

"Six minutes until penetration, and what the hell happened to the angel."

Shinji did a double take and looked down the barrel of the positron rifle. She was right! The angel had disappeared, most likely when the replica had imploded and blinded everyone.

"Kuso! Where is it!"

Looking wildly around Shinji tried to get a fix on the angel's position.

"Large heat source directly behind Unit 01, commander," said an operative.

Without even thinking Misato yelled, "Shinji get out of there!"

Shinji didn't even hesitated, and Unit 01 rolled to its left as a particle wave melted the rifle which was their only source of hope. Shinji rolled out of the way as another wave barely missed him. Kicking up off the ground he was greeted by a giant shadow that was hovering directly above him.

Shinji had never really experienced true fear until now. Every other time that he had been inside an Eva he had reacted on his emotions, or let the voice fix it for him. This time though, time seemed to freeze itself as he saw the particle wave coming at him in slow motion. Moving didn't even seem to register in his mind until the last moment when it seemed pointless.

Rei appeared directly in front of the angel with a heat shield and blocked the full force of the attack. Deploying her AT-field to the limit she was able to defend Shinji for a certain amount of time.

Shinji didn't even move, couldn't for some reason. This selfless act of throwing your life away in the way to protect somebody was chivalrous.

"...Rei..." He didn't expect a response but he got one nonetheless.

"Ikari...kun."

Shinji froze, it was the first time that she had said his name. Realizing where he was and how stupid he was be he stood up next to Rei and deployed his own AT-field to the limit. The combination was enough to shatter the angels own AT-field and halt its attack for a moment.

Turning around the two sprinted down the bank and quickly ducked down behind some buildings. Shinji took a quick look at Unit 00's arms. If he had stopped her in time the arm might be gone. The heat shield was melted to an indistinguishable wad of mental, and the hand that held it was slightly twisted. Shinji couldn't imagine what the temperature inside the entry plug had been.

"You okay, Rei?" His voice held general concern.

Silence from her entry plug for a minute in which Shinji started to get worried, then he heard a small voice.

"Yes, I am."

"Good. I'm glad."

"You're glad." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Course I'm glad. You're a friend, if something happens to you I'd be worried."

Rei was silent for a moment and the said, "Friend?"

"Yeah, you an Asuka are both my friends."

Before either of them could say a word a positron wave tore straight through the building in between them. Rei and Shinji jumped backwards as they saw the angel slowly coming nearer, a faint glow now underneath it.

"Damn it, only three minutes left." Shinji looked wildly around for something that might be able to help them...with out much luck. So he did the only thing that he knew that had a chance of working. Concentrating deeply he reached into the very depths of his subconscious. He felt nothing but the LCL fluid around him and inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of blood which he would likely never get used to.

"Unit 01's sync rate is climbing!"

Misato stopped biting her nail and looked wildly around. "What!"

"The pilot of Unit 01 is syncing perfectly with Unit 01. Sync rate climbing, sixty-one...no sixty-two...sixty-three."

Misato watched, surprised at Shinji's sudden improvement. 'Is this what happens when he actually tries,' she wondered?

As Shinji opened his eyes he felt the LCL fluid change. It was comfortable now for him, as though he had always belonged there. The temperature had changed also. It was warm not, like a giant quilt that was tossed over him, and he didn't even seem to taste the blood anymore.

"What happened?"

"_You finally accepted the Eva and in doing so the Eva has accepted you."_

"How come you weren't with me the entire time?"

"_Sad that I wasn't giving you instruction?"_

"Not really. Just that whenever I've had a problem you've taken over."

"_I wanted you to have to deal with it on your own. You did better than I expected actually."_

"Great, well I need help now!"

"_You sure you want to go through with this?"_

"Of course, even if I end up in the infirmary again."

"_Thats what I like to hear."_

Shinji was prepared for it this time but it still freaked him out. Nerves from the Eva snaked its way along his skin, piercing into him and connecting with his own nerves. Next he felt like a white, hot poker, pierced into the side of his temples. Droplets of blood leaked from the small holes in his skin and soon blended with the LCL fluid. Strangely the smell of the LCL fluid and his own blood seemed to relax him. Almost as if the two blending together harmonized with him.

"_Blood pressure normal. LCL fluid density has been changed. How does it feel?"_

"Right...somehow."

"_Good, you're getting used to it."_

"I still feel disgusted by it."

"_You really should be used to it by now."_

"Forget it!"

"..._Fine_."

Unit 01 shuddered violently as it let out a violent roar, ripping apart the bracers that secured the mouth shut. Arching its back, it got down on all fours and kicked off against the ground, ripping apart the ground as it charged. Shinji felt as though had something had grabbed him behind the collar and jerked him backwards at the sudden change of movement. He wasn't even in control anymore.

Jumping through the air, Unit 01 raised both its fists and brought them down on the angels AT-field. Letting out an earsplitting roar it repeated bashed its fists against the AT-field.

"_Help me out here. I need you to concentrate."_

"I'm trying, damn it!"

"_Well try harder."_

Shinji concentrated harder and felt the LCL fluid change drastically. The controls inside the entry plug disintegrated and changed into LCL fluid. Then Shinji felt a burning sensation start at his feat and creep up to his head. His plug suit was slowly dissolving. Soon Shinji was completely naked and floating inside the entry plug with nothing holding him except the nerves of the Eva.

Unable to move his body he thought in his mind.

'What is this?'

'_True synchronization.'_

Unit 01 then stopped attacking sporadically and jumped backwards, glaring at the angel, almost like it had a mind now. Shinji then projected his thoughts in his own mind which were received by the Eva, via the connected nerves. Unit 01 then took off again, charging at the angel. This time though, instead of attacking randomly, it smashed its fists into the AT-field of the angel. Unit 01 quickly generated its own AT-field and attempted to rip apart the angels own AT-field.

Digging its nails into the angels AT-field it was able to open up a small hole. Quickly thrusting its head into the hole it let out a roar that shattered the remains of the angels AT-field. Quick as a flash, Unit 01 smashed both its fists into the side of the angel. The angel seemed to crumble slightly as Unit 01 repeatedly smashed its fists directly into the side of the angel.

As Unit 01 was about to smash its fists into the side of the angel again, the angel quickly shifted so that it was able to fire its positron wave. A quick red flash appeared as the angel fired. Shinji reacted quicker though. Putting all his thoughts into the Eva's AT-field he projected a cone like AT-field which deflected the attack and sent it back towards the angel. The angel was able to deflect it though by firing another positron wave, make the first veer of course. That was all Shinji needed.

Reacting to the three second window, Unit 01 quickly appeared in front of the angel, grabbing both sides of it. Gripping the sides of the angel, Unit 01 dug its fingers into the angel and by projecting a large AT-field between the two hands, tour off a large chunk of the angel. Black blood poured from the open wound and several large organs, caked with a substance like bone marrow, fell to the ground.

Unit 01 let out a ferocious roar as it thrust its head directly into the open wound. Flesh and blood poured forth as Unit 01 dug inside the body of the angel. Shinji was slightly repulsed as he could feel the slimy taste of the flesh and the iron like blood pouring through his mouth, but he had to find it.

After a few seconds of digging Unit 01 paused and ripped its head out the wound of the angel. The head was dripping in blood and some was pouring from the mouth. Something was in its mouth though, a red object that looked similar to a marble. With a quick clench of the teeth the red marble shattered and fell from the Eva's teeth.

With the core of the angel removed and destroyed the angel seemed to twist and writhe. Large chunks of flesh started to fall off and sink to the ground. Shinji watched this all in slow motion from the eyes of the Eva.

"Pattern blue has disappeared, the angel has been defeated."

Misato let out a shaky laugh and sank in her chair. She didn't even want to know how much time was left. Shinji's performance was incredible though. His sync rate read at seventy-two when he had disengaged combat. Even so the way he initiated combat was both reckless, and slightly scary. He didn't seem to show any emotion.

Letting out a low sigh Misato said, "Bring in Unit 00 and 01, and get the has-mat team down there to start clean up." 'And get me a cold beer while your at it,' she thought.

Shinji was rather hesitant as he stood outside of Misato's apartment, and rather mad at the conversation that had followed after he returned from fighting. Misato had scolded him about his way of fighting, saying that he was way to reckless and should have waited for back up from Rei. Shinji had retorted that he had defeated the angel so why should she be angry at him. He was honestly annoyed with Misato right now, but he was more worried about Asuka. She had to assume that something had happened judging by that fact that Shinji hadn't come home from school.

He was hoping that she might have gone to bed early and opened the door slowly hoping that he wouldn't wake her if she was asleep. However, when he opened the door he heard the blaring of the T.V. and assumed that she was still up. Tiptoeing his way into the living room he saw that Asuka was sprawled on the ground, with her head resting on a pillow, and entangled in a pile of blankets. At first he thought that she was sleeping but then he noticed that she had her head propped up in her hands.

She must have heard the door open because she sat up slowly, letting the blankets slide off her body, and turned towards the hallway where Shinji was standing. Shinji tried not to stare to much but it was rather difficult. She was wearing a white, loose, tank-top, with white and blue striped underwear, and appeared to have been laying there for a while. Rubbing her eyes slowly she squinted in Shinji's general direction.

"Baka Shinji?"

"Yeah, and could you drop the baka?"

Asuka shrugged and went back to watching television. Shinji wasn't sure if he should go straight to sleep or risk an argument with her. Deciding that they were on friendly level and that he didn't want to break it he inched his way towards his room when he heard her accusing voice.

"Where are you going?"

Shinji paused for a second and said, "To bed. I'm sorta tired."

Stealing a quick glance at the living room he saw that Asuka still hadn't moved.

"You can go to bed later. I want to know why you fought the angel without me."

Shinji flinched. Of course she would have known about the angel attack. The JSDF would have announced something completely false was happening and that everyone had to evacuate to the shelters. Asuka would of course known that it was really an angel attack.

"Oh...that..."

"Oh that? Is that all you can say?"

"Can't you at least be a little thankful?"

"For what!"

"Look, you didn't go to school so I didn't think that you'd be able fight well enough. When Misato asked me where you were I said that you were sick and not feeling well."

"That doesn't affect the synchro-"

"I know! ...I was just looking out for you is all, because of last nig-"

Shinji caught himself in mid sentence. Certainly mention of last night would set her off.

Asuka was frowning at Shinji, rather curiously. Shrugging she said, "Well it was rather relaxing anyway, and I certainly deserved the day off."

Standing up she walked over to Shinji and had to tilt her head slightly up towards him. She just realized that he was slightly taller than her, though they were both the same age. "Don't let it happen again though." At her words she calmly extended her index finger and flicked it against his nose, catching Shinji completely off guard.

Asuka turned around, her hair brushing against Shinji's face, and crawled back into the blankets.

Shinji continued standing there as though he was frozen. He had seriously thought that she was about to kiss him.

After several seconds in which time seemed to freeze for Shinji, Asuka turned towards Shinji and frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

Shinji seemed to come out of his stupor and nervously said, "Nothing."

"Liar, you thought I was going to kiss you."

Shinji blushed a deep crimson and waved his hands in front of his face, "No, I don't think of you like that."

Asuka rolled her eyes and turned back towards the T.V. "Grow some balls and start thinking like that then."

Shinji sighed and said, "What, you want me to think like that?"

It was Asuka's turn to be embarrassed as she quickly turned around before Shinji could see the pink tinge that had appeared on her face.

"Baka, just go to sleep already."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going."

Asuka kept her gaze fixed on the T.V. as Shinji left the room. When she heard his door closed she let out a low sigh and rolled over onto her back. Several emotion coursed through her which she didn't recognize, and all of them had something to do with Shinji. Turning off the T.V. she sat up and ran her hands through her hair. A small smile had appeared on her face.

* * *

**Okay I'm posting this in a motor home as we drive through town stealing internet as we go. As you'll notice I've taken a lot of liberties with some things here and there. And sorry if there's bad grammar in this one. When I've got time I'll fix it.**


	7. Partners

**Phew...got another done. You'll noticed I changed some stuff (again). On another note I figured that I'd get something sorted out before it was brought up. I've flip flopped with the idea of adding lemon into this sometime or another. I even planned out half a chapter in my head after Asuka and Shinji having sex and the repercussions that followed. Though I decided to scrap the whole idea and leave it for later, and by later I mean the sequel to this. In this Shinji and Asuka are one year older than they were in the anime and I decided on this age largely because of the dialogue between the teenagers (You'll notice how vulgar it can get at times). So if you were hoping for lemon in this I hate to disappoint you but lemon between two fifteen year olds is a gigantic no no in my world. BTW sequel will be named Two of Us, and if you can guess were I got the name from...well then you're as much a fan of them as I am. And close curtain.**

* * *

Gendo Ikari sat calmly at his desk. It was close to midnight and he had just finished reading the report that Ritsuko had given him about Pilot 01's latest improvement. Shinji's sudden improvement both brought his plan closer, but also brought greater dangers to his plan. If he should go out of control again, well, Instrumentality might be initiated sooner then he might like it, and while he knew he could control Shinji if he wished, he still didn't have all the pieces.

Clasping his hands together he glanced down at the brief that Ritsuko had sent him. The woman may be completely useless in the future, but for now he would be able to control her to his designs.

Picking a particular paper up he glanced at the few words she had left in the margins at the end of it. 'While Shinji's sync rate has increased dramatically he seems to have grown slightly aggressor. While that may be due to his experiences inside Unit-01, I don't know. An odd thing came up during the analysis of his battle though. During the time when Unit 01 generated the AT-field that tore the angel in half a brief instance of two At-fields were noticeable between the hands. It is possible though that this was the angel's AT-field and that the computer misread it.'

Gendo let the paper fall back on his desk and rested his elbows on the edge of his desk. He had wondered whether Ritsuko would have noticed this anomaly. The kid had undoubtably grown, but still not to where he could be useful. Well, he could still wait.

A small smile appeared on Gendo's face as he anticipated the future.

* * *

When Shinji woke up the day after his fight with the angel Ramiel he thought that he was still dreaming. Never in his life would he have expected to smell food in Misato's apartment that wasn't being made by his own hands. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes to be sure he wasn't dreaming only to realize how foolishly it was to rub your eyes if it was something you were smelling.

Standing up groggily, still half asleep, he opened the door a little and stuck his head into the doorway. He could smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen but due to the odd design of the apartment couldn't see who it was. It certainly couldn't have been Misato...the house would have burned long ago, and Asuka wouldn't be caught dead making something for herself. So who did that leave?

Keeping his body pressed firmly against the wall of the hallway he slowly walked forward and into the kitchen. In his surprise he almost tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face. It was Asuka, though she certainly didn't seem like Asuka.

She was facing the stove and seemed to be fretting over the dials, trying to figure out how to work them. Once or twice Shinji thought he heard her say, "How the hell does that baka use this damn thing?"

She had her hair tied back in a pony tail, something that Shinji never expected to see but had to admit it looked good. Shinji then noticed that she had found the white apron that he occasionally used when he didn't want to get his clothes dirty. Though last time he wore it he could have sworn it had a stain on it.

It seemed that she had found the correct setting for the stove and Shinji then saw that she seemed to be pouring some sort of bater in a frying pan. His mind ran through a series of things that she could be cooking before it rested on pancakes. He was rather surprised that she would be making something so plain. He had made them a few times before and she had always eaten them with little or no complaints. So why should she be making them now?

Abandoning all pretenses he calmly walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and sat down at the table there. He wondered how long it would take her to realize that he was there, she seemed completely focused on the stove. After a minute of silence Shinji breached it.

"You're certainly up early."

Asuka almost jumped three feet in the air at his comment and almost knocked the pan of the stove. Spinning around quickly she saw him sitting at the table grinning at her. Quickly hiding the brief tinge of pink that had appeared on her cheeks because of her actions she retorted, "Damn it, you almost made me spill the frying pan."

"You're the one that jumped."

Asuka threw a scowl at him before turning back towards the stove.

Shinji shrugged, got up, and grabbed himself a glass of orange juice out of the fridge.

After taking a large gulp he said in a low voice, "Any reason why you're making breakfast and not me?"

Asuka seemed to tense up for a second but then regained her composure. "Not particularly, would you rather do it?"

"No, I just don't see what the point of making two breakfasts is."

Asuka looked over at her shoulder and glared at him. _"Two breakfasts?"_

"Well, yeah. Its not like your making it for both of us."

Without turning around Asuka said, "Fine! You won't get any then."

It took Shinji several seconds to realize what she ment by this statement. "Wait, what? You mean you had planned on making enough for both of us."

"That was my intention when I woke up this morning but if you don't want to taste my cooking go right ahead and just eat cereal."

An awkward silence was met by this during which Shinji rebuked his hasty words. After a few minutes of silence he said, "Sorry what I said, just didn't expect you to be thinking of me."

Asuka response was to hit him on the back of the head with a serving spoon. "Ass!"

Shinji rubbed the spot on his head, slightly confused. Was Third Impact close?

Letting out a low sigh he rested his head on the table and mumbled. "To tell you the truth I didn't even know you could cook."

"Just because I don't, doesn't mean I can't," she snapped back at him.

"Sorry I didn't mean-"

"Just shut it and eat," Asuka said as she dropped a plate with two pancakes on it in front of Shinji.

Shinji frowned at the plate and then looked up at Asuka who had her arms crossed and was trying not to look in his direction.

"Err, you sure you don't want to eat first."

Asuka raised an eyebrow at him and replied cooly, "Its fine."

Shrugging Shinji picked up a fork and knife and dug into the first one. It was good, way better than his and he could understand why she had wanted to make it. It was fluffy, but not to the point of it getting to soggy when syrup was applied. It didn't even really need syrup.

"This is good, far better that how I make it actually."

Asuka tried not to look to pleased with herself.

"Where did you learn to cook like this anyway?"

Shrugging Asuka said, "At college. I didn't eat out much. Pancakes is what I usually ate each morning. I sorta made my own recipe."

"Its good."

"Glad you liked it."

"What about you? Aren't you going to get a plate?"

Asuka's face seemed to shift as her features reacted wildly to his question. "Err, no. I already ate."

Shinji hesitated for a fraction of a second and that was all Asuka needed to make an excuse. "Don't get any ideas! I didn't make it for you, I just hadn't made it in a while and felt like it was good practice."

"U-huh."

Asuka's face turned slightly pink as she turned around, "Baka!"

Shinji just laughed and dug into another piece. He found it funny that she didn't want to admit that she had made it specifically for him. Though whether she was proving that hers tasted better or just felt like giving him the day off he wasn't sure. Though he seemed to lean a little to the latter.

"And hurry it up will you, we're gonna be late for school."

"Hai, hai."

Asuka then busied herself with cleaning up the mess that she had left...which was quite a lot.

After devouring four pancakes Shinji called himself satisfied and quickly entered his room and started to dress. After pulling on his shirt and fastening the buttons he thought he heard the phone ringing and Asuka's annoyed voice answering it. Grabbing some socks off his floor he hopped out on one foot, putting them on as he went.

His first guess that something was wrong when he saw Asuka frowning slightly as she talked into the receiver of the phone. After a hasty hang up Asuka turned to him and said, "Misato wants us to come to Nerv right now."

Still hopping on one foot Shinji replied, "Angel attack?"

Asuka nodded silently and for once Shinji wished that he was going to school.

Sighing he said, "Best get moving then."

Asuka nodded and followed him out the door.

* * *

As soon as Asuka and Shinji entered Nerv headquarters they were directed to the command center. Misato then filled them in on an angel that they had detected of the coast of Tokyo-3. Not much was known about this angel and they were supposed to be extremely cautious. Rei would not be taking part in the operation though owing to the fact that Unit-00 was still damaged from the last battle. Asuka was therefore determined to show Shinji that she was the better of the three children. Before they were sent up to the surface though Misato gave them some advice.

"Now this is technically your first time teaming up together so I want you two to get along, and by this I mean not arguing and working together.

"It'll be fine as long as Shinji just listens to me. I am the better pilot after all," said Asuka while shrugging. Misato hadn't told her about his performance in the last battle, or the fact that he had almost beaten her best sync rate.

Turning around, Asuka smiled at Shinji and said, "Got that baka."

Shinji sighed and replied, "Yeah."

Misato was nervous for the results of this battle.

After the two entered their respected Eva's Misato's voice came over the intercom. "Asuka enter elevator number three, Shinji number two. Rifles will be awaiting you at the surface."

Shinji sighed and felt a familiar sense of being shot through a cannon as he rocketed to the surface.

As the gate for the elevator opened Unit 01 quickly grabbed a rifle and ducked down behind a building. Shinji saw that Asuka had done similar and was several blocks to the left of his position.

"Pattern blue detected entering Tokyo-3 defense zone," came a voice over the intercom. "Retracting Tokyo-3 now."

It still amazed Shinji every time he saw it. The buildings, almost retreating into the safety of the Geofront. He suddenly wondered what it would look like if the sun was setting as it happened. Shaking his head quickly he emptied his thoughts and looked to his left to see Unit 02 crouching, waiting for the go ahead.

After several tense minutes Shinji felt the silence of everyone around him and heard Misato over the intercom. "Lockdown of Tokyo-3 confirmed, proceed with the operation."

Almost as soon as Misato cut the radio Shinji saw a screen open on the monitor to his left and frowned when he saw Asuka smirking at him.

"Just stay back and let me handle this. I'll show you why I'm the best pilot here."

"Wait, don't you think its better if we both attack it."

His words were apparently ignored as Asuka dove out from behind her hiding spot and rushed towards the waterfront.

Shinji but his lip and swore, "Damn it, can't she ever listen to anything I say."

Taking off after her he thought anyway, 'Whether she wants help or not I'm giving it to her.'

Shinji was quick to catch up with Asuka and she was visibly surprised by it. Smiling slightly she thought, 'Oh? Seems that he's improved a little bit.'

Soon both of them could see the angel walking slowly out of the water and onto the beach.

"Shinji watch this, I'm going to kill it in one shot."

"Asuka wait! We shouldn't charge in without knowing what its powers are!"

Unit 02 dashed towards he angel, creating a deep groove in the sand. Though the angel seemed to be slow, with its bulky arms and legs it swung quickly as Unit 02 got into range. Asuka rolled around the angel quite easily as she dodged its arms.

Now behind her target she quickly pulled out her progressive knife and stabbed it straight in the back. A small fountain of black blood erupted out of it and with a quick slash downwards Asuka managed to split it in two.

Black blood spilled forth as it fell in two separate heaps, landing with a thud on the sand. Soon the sand had turned black from the blood and parts of Unit 02 were coated in the blood. Shinji had to turn away as he saw several large organs fall out of the angel and writhe around on the sand before falling silent. He was inadvertently remembering his past battle and the taste of the flesh that had gone through his mouth.

"See, one shot was all it took. I am the best though so its not to be unexpected."

Shinji couldn't help but smile, he was fairly impressed. Relaxing slightly he felt a slight tingle on the back of his neck and felt a familiar voice whisper, "Its_ not over yet_."

Next second Shinji heard an ear splitting racket over the intercom from Misato.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING. DESTROY THE DAMN CORE BEFORE IT REGENERATES!"

Shinji looked wildly back at the angel and saw something truly horrifying. The angel was slowly starting to rebuild itself. Pieces of flesh started to mold together and reform on the sand. Organs exploded and reformed into two different organs, leaving many different colored liquids in the sand. Shinji thought what he recognized as the stomach deflate and then tear itself into. Stomach acid was formed in the walls of the stomach and slowly started to fill back up. Shinji had a strong urge to bring his breakfast back up but held it. The large and small intestines split themselves apart and then reformed again. It was like high speed cell regeneration.

Soon the two different flesh piles fixated itself onto each of the different halves of the angel. Not even a scar could be visible as the angel, now two separate halves, picked itself off the ground.

Asuka seemed to not have noticed as she had her back to the angel now and was just wondering why Misato seemed so worried when she felt something hit her Eva in the back. She was sent flying forward and collided directly into Unit 01.

"Damn it Asuka, get off me."

"Its your fault for standing there."

"Its your fault for attacking so recklessly."

Asuka bit her lip and ignored his comment. How the hell was she supposed to know that this was going to happen.

"Anyway, just pick one and attack it."

Shinji was about to agree with her when he heard Misato's angry voice come on the intercom again.

"Forget it. I'm disengaging this operation."

"HUH," cried a shocked Asuka.

"If you guys can't work together then you won't be able to beat this angel."

"Watch me!" Yelled Asuka.

Asuka charged forward again, about to attack the one closest to her when she felt something akin to whiplash. Shinji had just barely managed to grab her Eva around the waist and pull her backwards. She had been so focused on attacking the one in front of her that she had completely ignored the other one which had been close to taking off Unit 02's right arm.

"What the hell are you doing ass hole!"

"Saving you damn it. You completely ignored the other one!"

"I expected you to cover me baka."

"ENOUGH!" Yelled Misato. "Return now! Both of you."

Asuka grimaced, "Damn it..."

Shinji wasn't to pleased either but was eyeing the angel. Oddly enough it didn't seem like it was interested in them, in fact the two separate halves reformed and went back in the ocean. Shinji dropped his guard then, and still realized that he had a hand on Asuka's Eva's shoulder.

"Come on...lets head back, Asuka."

"Fucking..." Letting out a sigh she said, "Fine."

* * *

What followed after was, in Misato's words, "A debriefing," though Shinji thought it was more like a berating. He didn't know how many times she had called it an operational failure. What was possibly worse was the shouting match that happened between himself and Asuka. No matter what Shinji had actually done, Asuka found someway to blame the entire thing on himself. After a hasty lunch, which consisted of nothing more than T.V. dinners, Asuka and Shinji had confined themselves in there separate places. Asuka in front of the T.V. and Shinji in his room.

After close to an hour of just laying there and listening to his SDAT, Shinji thought he heard the opening and slamming of the front door. Knowing that Misato would likely chew him out sooner or later he decided to get it over with sooner.

Opening his door quietly he poked his head out to see Misato's retreating back heading towards the kitchen. Misato must have heard him though because she paused for a second and said, "Shinji, I need to talk to you and Asuka."

Knowing that her name would be brought up eventually, Shinji caught a brief glimpse of Asuka's face as she plodded out of the living room, being sure to give him a grimace.

Sighing heavily, Shinji followed her at a distance and was unsurprised to see Misato sitting at the table with a beer already in her hand.

"Sit," she gestured to the two.

As soon as they had sat, Misato popped the top off the can and drank a heavy gulp. Shinji was a bit disgusted at her actions, it was only noon for Christ's sake.

After taking another large gulp Misato slammed the can down on the table, folder her arms on the table, and frowned at the two. "That was some of the worst team work I've ever seen."

"Well, sorry if somebody wasn't able to keep up with me-"

Shinji threw a glare in Asuka's direction and another shouting match would have followed if Misato hadn't held out her hand to shut them up.

"I don't care who slowed who down. If you two won't work together you won't be able to defeat this angel." Pausing for a moment Misato continued. "This angel is able to split itself in two, though they are still part of the same angel. Because of this, they are perfectly synchronized with each other, meaning that they are able to read each other thought patterns."

Shinji frowned, "Humans can't read others thoughts."

Misato nodded, "While true, humans are able to sync with each other in other ways. One such form is dance and music."

It took Shinji slightly longer than Asuka to figure out what she ment.

"THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

Shinji turned to see a bright angry Asuka glaring dumbfounded back at Misato.

Sighing, Misato replied, "Its exactly I ment it to sound like. In order to beat this angel you two need to work together. The only way to do that in a short amount of time is to be able to fluently synchronization each others bodies to the motions of the other.

"Wh-What do you mean by synchronization of each other bodies."

Taking another large gulp of beer from the can, Misato slammed it back down and with a slight grin on her face shouted, "DANCE!"

Shinji almost fell out of his chair...while Asuka did fall out of hers.

"DANCE WITH THIS IDIOT, YOU MUST BE FUCKING CRAZY!"

"Whether this seems crazy or not doesn't matter. It should theoretically work-"

"AND IF IT DOESN'T?"

Shrugging Misato said, "We'll think of something else. But for now, this is the best we've got."

"Damn it, why can't you just get the first to do this? I'd rather let her degraded herself instead of me."

With her mouth half way up to the can Misato replied, "I would have used her instead but Unit 00 won't be fully repaired for another two days and we don't have that time." Slamming the can down on the table she said, "You two will from now on do everything together. You will dance together, eat together, sleep in the same room together, you will practically take a shower together."

"THE FUC-"

"Calm down Asuka, its just a figure of speech," said Shinji.

"You'd like that pervert."

Shinji was about to open his mouth when Misato cut in like a knife.

"Enough! And while this is going on I don't want you two arguing with each other. That will completely undermine this project.

"When exactly are we supposed to start?"

"Now. Later I'll have you move your futons into the living room but for now I want you to go to school, even though it is late in the day."

"Fine!" Asuka stood to get up but Misato spoke up quickly. "I've got something that I want you two to wear to school."

Holding up an oddly wrapped package Shinji was able to see some of what was inside and felt his stomach drop.

"NO WAY IN HELL AM I WEARING THAT," roared Asuka.

"You will, because its also important to feel what the other feels, not just physically but emotionally as well, and I think you'll get plenty of emotion out of wearing those to school."

Shinji tried not to imagine them walking into class in the middle of the day, it looked painful. Kensuke and Touji would give him hell.

* * *

Shinji's predication wasn't even close to the truth. Everyone's reaction were way worse then he had expected. When they had both walked in with the tight, black leather, dancing pants, and matching tank-tops the class was silent for an eternity. Then when they finally started laughing it sounded like a tornado. Kensuke started clicking his camera like mad and Touji fell out of his chair and started banging his fist on the floor. Hikari, a girl that Shinji hardly talked to but had seen talking to Asuka before, blushed an embarrassing deep red and tried to act like she had never seen Asuka before. Even the teacher gave up his feeble attempts to control to class and started snickering wildly and the two. Shinji thought that he even saw Rei crack a brief smile, though brief.

Without looking at each other Shinji and Asuka walked wordlessly to their seats while ignoring the cat-calls and jeering from there fellow students. When Shinji finally sat down he got a brief glimpse of Asuka's face as she sat down. She looked like an over ripe strawberry.

Though they had arrived at school, lunch was just a few minutes away and Asuka and Shinji had no desire to socialize with other people. Shinji rarely did in the first place, but Asuka didn't feel like it either, so she joined him on the roof of the school for the first time in a while.

"Damn it Misato, I'm gonna give her hell tonight," said an irksome Asuka. Shinji had learned not to bother her when she was like this but didn't care that much today.

"I suppose we can understand what she ment by sharing each others emotions. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life."

Asuka then vented some anger off by pretending that half her bento was Misato's face, though she quickly stopped when she realized how hungry she was. Honestly she hadn't eaten earlier, she had just lied to Shinji so he wouldn't feel bad.

"How the hell is this supposed to help us beat that damn angel."

"Beats me."

"If it wasn't for you we wouldn't even be in this situation."

Shinji had learned long ago that it was pointless trying to convince her otherwise so he just ignored it. Though there peace was short lived as the door to the stairway came banging open.

"See told you they'd be here," said a laughing Touji as he walked through the door.

"I suppose it seems logical since this is where Shinji spends his lunch, and I'm not surprised to see Asuka here either," said Kensuke.

Asuka stood up then and twitched slightly. Shinji could feel the anger that was coursing off of her and knew she'd like nothing better than to unleash her frustration on them. Standing up quickly before she decided to kill them, he put a hand out in front of her and said, "Best not to."

Asuka turned her head towards him and glared at him before sitting down, "Whatever."

Touji and Kensuke were obviously prepared to run but calmed down when Asuka sat back down. Kensuke slowly started walking over to Shinji then but still keeping an eye on Asuka, though she seemed to be preoccupied.

"So Shinji...are you gonna tell us why you two look like that?"

Shinji had expected more ridicule instead of questioning. Glancing over at Asuka, the two came into eye contact and Asuka shrugged as if saying, "I couldn't give a flying fuck."

Shinji sighed then, deciding that he didn't care remotely either and delved into the long winded story of the Eva's and the battles with the angels.

After a severely cut down version of events Shinji came to the part with the last battle and surprisingly Asuka picked up the story telling them how degrading it was to have to learn how to dance with Shinji. Touji then decided to make a remark which almost ended up with him knocked out with a pool of blood around him. Though Shinji had intervened at the last moment.

"Wow, so thats why you left school suddenly sometimes?"

"Yeah."

"But wait Shinji how long have you been doing this."

"You remember when we were searching for a shelter together that time."

"Yeah."

"After that time is when I decided that I'd pilot Eva."

"Wow."

"I don't see why your so impressed. I hate being inside of those things."

"So wait what were you telling me about the entry plu-"

Kensuke was cut off from his rant then as the bell rang.

"Ah and I still had lots more questions."

"I'll you them later."

"Okay see you in class."

"Yeah cya."

Shinji and Asuka were then left alone briefly. Shinji rested his back against the chain fence before standing up. Turning towards Asuka who was still sitting he held out a hand to help her up. Asuka blinked at his gesture and seemed to look around as though expecting a crowd of people watching them. Accepting his gesture she rested her hand in his and he gently pulled her to her feet.

Motioning towards the door Shinji said, "Come on, lets head back to class."

Shinji took about half a step forward, expecting Asuka's hand to slide out of his, though it didn't. In fact she seemed to hold on tighter. Turning towards her he asked, "Asuka wha-"

"I don't want to go back..."

"What?"

"I said I don't want to go back to class. Lets...lets just go home."

Shinji paused for a second and thought about several things. Was she really that embarrassed about what she was wearing? It wasn't that bad once you got over the initial shock.

Scratching his head he said, "I guess there's really no reason in staying here anymore. I think we got the emotional part down. We certainly were laughed at enough."

"Yeah, no kidding," mumbled Asuka.

Asuka then let go of his hand quickly after he had agreed on heading home and walked next to him as they left the roof.

* * *

Misato was unsurprisingly not back from work; still probably cleaning up the aftermath of their last battle, Shinji reminded himself.

Predictably Asuka flopped down on the couch and flipped on the T.V. as soon as they got home. Shinji meanwhile entered the kitchen and was about to get a glass of water when he noticed something on the kitchen table. It was a note from Misato.

Hesitantly picking it up he had a sudden mental imagine of it starting to yell at him. Shrugging it off he walked over to the living room and had to clear his throat loudly since Asuka had raised the volume on the T.V. to maximum

"What baka?" Asuka asked when she muted the T.V. and turned to face Shinji.

"Misato left us something."

Asuka's eyebrows twitch angrily. She had almost torn off her dance pants and tank-top half way to Misato's apartment and it was only from Shinji convincing her otherwise that she didn't. So anything about Misato was sure to piss her off.

"Whatever read it."

"Err okay..."

"_Asuka, Shinji, sorry about earlier. I was a little stressed out from the battle. Anyway I left something on the counter for you two. Its the music that goes along with the dance that you'll be memorizing for the battle. The dance simulation wont be here till tomorrow though so I want you to spend a few hours just listening to the music. Most likely I wont return home tonight so Shinji don't worry about cooking extra. Can't wait to hear how school went."_

_ -Misato_

Shinji stared at the note for a few minutes and then folded it up and put it in his pocket.

"So what is it that she left us?" Asked Asuka.

Shrugging Shinji walked back over to the kitchen counter while Asuka stuck her head into the hallway and watched him. What he had missed on the counter was a white envelope that seemed to barely be holding in its contents. Sliding his finger along the seem the turned it upside down and out fell an old cassette player with ear buds. A note was attached to the cassette player.

"_This cassette only has one song on it so just repeat it over and over. Also I know that you have your own ear buds Shinji but I want you to use these. And don't even try changing the length of it."_

Shinji wondered what she ment by the length of the ear buds but was interrupted by someone hovering over his shoulder.

"That thing looks ancient."

Shinji turned towards Asuka and rather wished he hadn't as their noses almost touched. Passing it off he said, "Yeah, its a lot older than the one I have."

"What? You think its her father's or something."

"Maybe...should we try it?"

Asuka let out a heavy sigh and smacked herself lightly on the forehead. "Might as well get this damn thing over with."

Shinji nodded and unrolled the ear buds and passed the cassette player to Asuka. Together, the two of them walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch. After turning off the T.V. the two frowned at the cassette player now resting between them.

"Well, get it on with it," said Asuka with a grimace.

Shinji nodded and grabbed his ear bud piece and stuck it in his left ear while Asuka had hers in her right ear. Shinji then realized why Misato had told them not to try to resize the ear buds. The length between the two was so minuscule that their heads were banging into each other.

"Move over damn it!"

"Thats not gonna work. The ear buds are what's causing this."

"Then making them longer."

Shinji pulled his out of his ear and frowned down at it. It was already at its longest.

"This is as long as it gets."

Asuka let out a shrill yell and a large quantity of German profanities, largely directed at Misato.

"Damn it!"

"Not like we can do anything about it."

"Whatever! Just start the damn thing."

Shinji nodded and finally pressed play on the player. He wasn't sure what kind of music he had expected but didn't think he'd be listening to the classics. It really wasn't much different that what he had had on his SDAT and he suddenly felt like asking Misato if he could keep the tape when they were done with it. Turning towards Asuka he was surprised that her face seemed to be fairly passive. Asuka seemed to notice and turned slightly towards him, brushing some of her hair against his forehead. "What?"

"Sorry, I'm just surprised that you're not complaining about the music."

"Hmph, It could have been a lot worse."

"I suppose...but I didn't know that you liked classical music."

Shrugging Asuka said, "Some of the greatest classical composers are from Germany. When this stuff is blaring out of every cafe on the street corners you grow to enjoy it."

Shinji hummed his consent.

Oddly enough they stopped squirming and flinching every time the other would accidently bump into the other. Though there had been a close call when Shinji had accidently brushed Asuka's right breast with his elbow and had almost ushered in the apocalypse. Other than that minor set back they seemed to be getting used to the physical contact.

After roughly an hour and a half of sitting their Shinji felt Asuka's stomach next to him let out a loud grumble. Doing his best to not look at her face he failed miserably and noticed that she seemed to be sitting extremely rigid with a slight blush across her face.

Acting as though he hadn't noticed anything he pulled the bud out of his ear, stretched and said, "I'm gonna start making dinner."

"...Fine."

Dinner was quick and brief with almost no conversation, though for once Asuka offered to clean up instead of Shinji. Gratefully excepting her help, Shinji decided to clear a large enough space in the living room since the two were supposed to sleep in the same room together. Shinji had a sudden mental image of him and Asuka sleeping in a king size bed together, except that it stretched the length of five football fields and they were each on opposite ends. Honestly even in his mind it was an impossible happenstance.

After rearranging the furniture and T.V. being sure that latter was within viewing distance of wherever Asuka was going to sleep, Shinji grabbed his futon in his room and dragged it into the living room. Asuka did likewise soon after while bringing a few other things with her.

"I want to make something perfectly clear before we go to sleep."

Shinji could guess what it was but he asked anyway. "What?"

"First, if I catch you anywhere near myself while I sleep...I Will Kill You."

Shinji took this one to heart.

"Second," pulling out a piece of scotch tape she stuck a piece of tape in between hers and Shinji's futon. Shinji noticed that she had a substantial amount more room on her side then he did.

"You are not under any circumstances allowed to cross this line. If you do than I will revert to the first one and kill you."

It was amazing how calmly she could say these things. Sighing Shinji said, "Do you honestly expect me to do such things?" Her glare was all he needed to shut up.

"This is effective immediately!"

"Hai, Hai." Without anymore further conversation Shinji got on his futon, rolled onto his side that wasn't face her, and turned on his SDAT. If he had been facing Asuka he might have seen the annoyance that had passed over her face before she stood up. Without caring whether he could hear her or not she said that she was going to take a bath. He long since stopped caring what she did in the bathroom.

* * *

Sleep came and went that night. It wasn't so much that they were sharing a room together. Just that both of them were fully aware that the other was awake but wasn't sure if they wanted to talk. So much had happened since they had met.

After many hours had gone by it was fully dark out and Shinji could hear the light breathing of Asuka, somewhere to his right. Rolling over onto his back he caught her in his peripheral vision, it seemed that she really was asleep. Shinji couldn't quite tell but it looked like from the outline of her body that she had fallen asleep while turned towards him. Though she could have tossed and turned several times to get into that position.

Shinji couldn't help but smile slightly. She was on the side furthest from the window and so some of the moonlight was able to seep through the curtain and bathe part of her face in the light. It was times like this that Shinji was glad that he knew her. Almost as though replying to his thoughts Asuka stirred. Shinji immediately switched position and turned the other way, hoping that she hadn't woken up only to find him looking at her.

She seemed not to have noticed though as he heard her covers shifting slightly as she got up. Shinji tried to keep as still as possible and developed a light breathing so as to fake sleep. After several seconds he heard water coming from the kitchen and assumed that she had just grabbed a glass of water.

Sighing in a relieving sort of way he heard the water turn of and her steady footsteps as she walked back to the living room.

'I should really try to get some sleep I suppose. Tomorrow is going to be hectic,' thought Shinji.

Deciding that the other side was more comfortable he turned on his side, the one facing Asuka and was just prepared to drop of to sleep when he heard something surprising.

"Baka Shinji, you awake?"

Shinji lay there for a long time without answering. Should he, or should he not reply? Guessing that she knew that he was awake anyway he open his eyes to find her sitting up in her futon with her eyes watching him. It certainly didn't help that the moonlight completely illuminated her now.

"Yeah...somewhat," mumbled Shinji.

"Sorry if you were about to fall asleep."

"Its okay," said Shinji, shaking off the drowsiness.

"I'm having trouble sleeping..."

"You're not the only one."

Asuka turned her head slightly to see Shinji resting on his side watching her.

"I feel so stupid bothering you with something so trivial as this."

"What is it?"

"...Bad dream."

Had it been any other time Shinji probably would have broken several ribs from laughing. For some reason though he could understand where she was coming from. He had certainly had his share of them in the past few weeks.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No...its nothing...sorry to bother you."

Asuka then rolled back onto her side and faced the wall. Shinji watched her for a few seconds before rolling onto this back and looking up at the ceiling.

"I want you to know I'm here...incase you need to talk..."

Shinji then turned his head slightly and thought he caught a slight moving of her head to indicate she understood.

"Thanks...Baka."

Shinji almost scoffed. Even when she was showing vulnerability she never forgot to throw an insult in his direction. Well, if it made her more secure, he supposed it was all right.

"Night, Asuka."

After a very long pause during which Shinji was close to drifting off he thought her heard, "Night, Shinji."


	8. Pain

"Damn it baka! What the hell do you think you're doing."

"You're moving way to fast! How the hell do you expect me to keep up."

Misato shrugged as once again they traded verbal abuse. She was too use to it by now and popped the top off another beer.

It was only the second day since they had started using the dance simulation and so far Misato thought that Nerv was wasting millions on this project. Well, it was her decision in the first place, so if anyone was screwed, it was her.

Asuka and Shinji hadn't shown a shred of improvement, Misato actually thought they had gotten worse since they started. From what she could tell it was simply a bad paring. Asuka usually kept the pace faster then Shinji could keep up and once or twice Misato had to tell Asuka to slow down so to let Shinji keep up. Asuka replied that he was just a bad dancer to which Shinji replied Asuka was just more flexible. After that Shinji had almost been castrated...by Asuka's foot. Misato wasn't even sure how many beers she had drunken over the past few days, but it wasn't enough if she was still remembering this stuff.

After roughly two hours of non-stop practice Misato called a halt finally. Getting off the couch she said, "Thats enough for now I suppose. Anymore and you'll just end up killing each other."

"God damn it, finally," said Asuka tearing off the headphones that had been resting on her head. Falling flat on the floor she rested there for a few minutes, letting the beads of sweating drip off her forehead. Shinji had done likewise, though far enough away so she wouldn't have a reason to pick a fight.

"Well, that was a little better than today's earlier attempt," said Misato.

Asuka and Shinji both started slightly, they were remembering the performance from earlier. Somehow Shinji had managed to trip over his own feet and gone cascading into Asuka's chest, knocking them both over. Shinji still winced slightly as he remembered the pain she had inflicted on him after that.

"Tch, pervert," mumbled Asuka.

Shinji glared in her direction and received one in return. How many times did he have to tell her that it was an accident?

"Well, no matter," said Misato vaporizing the hostile environment. "At least you've improved a little so I suppose its a start."

"I could do this so much quicker if it was just myself," replied Asuka.

Misato didn't even bother listening to her. She had to tell her almost every hour that it was impossible without Shinji.

"Okay an hour for lunch, then back to work."

"Thats it?"

"You should be glad that its not less."

Asuka threw Misato a scowl and tromped her way into the kitchen. She still hadn't gotten over the embarrassment that she had suffered at school. Though on the plus they hadn't gone back since that day.

After a long pause during which Shinji contemplated getting up he heard an angry snarl from the kitchen.

"Shinji, food. Now!"

Shinji had half a mind to tell her to fix herself something but knew he'd regret it later. Ignoring a funny look that Misato was giving him he slowly sat up, wiping some sweat off his forehead and walked into the kitchen to prepare lunch.

* * *

"Why the hell are we doing this?"

"Because the teacher asked us to."

"So, he could have gotten somebody else to do it."

"Be we do know Shinji the best."

"Yeah but why did she have to come with us," said Touji jerking a finger behind him at Hikari who was following himself and Kensuke at a distance.

Puffing up her cheeks in an irritated way, Hikari replied, "Because the teacher asked me to give Asuka her homework."

"So! Those two live together so it would have been a hell of a lot easier just to send one person."

This was apparently news to Hikari as she stammered wildly while indecent thoughts raced through her head.

"Wh-Wh-WHAT? THEY LIVE TOGETHER?"

"Course," replied Kensuke. "I thought that everybody in the school knew that by now. They always come to class at the same time, and their bentos are the exact same."

"I-I just thought that they lived really close to each other."

"Naw. They've been living together for a while now."

"Bu-By themselves."

"No, they got some guardian that looks after them I think."

"By the way Kensuke, where does this Misato live anyway?"

"I'm not really sure," said Kensuke looking down at the poorly drawn map. "The directions that the teacher gave me weren't exactly well explained."

"Probably didn't even care if they got their homework or not."

"Oh, move over already!" Yelled Hikari while swiping the map out of Kensuke's hands.

After several minutes of analyzing the teachers poor handwriting Hikari settled on a location.

"Follow me you stooges."

Kensuke let out a sigh while Touji whispered something to him. "I see why she and Asuka get along so well."

After another fifteen minutes the three found themselves standing outside an apartment door. According to Hikari this was where Misato Katsuragi lived, and apparently two others.

"Well, go ahead and knock," said Kensuke.

"Why me," replied Hikari looking over her shoulder?

"Because your the one that led us here idiot," said Touji.

Hikari threw a scowl over her shoulder before taking a deep breadth and knocking twice on the door.

After several seconds they thought they heard several footsteps and then the unlatching of the door. Whatever they had thought originally was blown out the door as Misato opened it.

"Hai?"

Hikari, Kensuke, and Touji were unable to say a word. They hadn't been expecting this and for a moment were about to pass off the apartment number as a mistake when they heard Asuka's unmistakable voice coming from somewhere inside. Misato had a beer in one hand and the T.V. remote in the other. What's more she seemed to have adopted the Asuka attitude and decided to walk around the house in her underwear. Kensuke and Touji almost dropped dead of a bloody nose and it was only the dark aura that had settled around Hikari that kept them in check.

"Ah you must be Asuka and Shinji's friends from school."

Kensuke and Touji nodded with a hand over their noses while Hikari simply frowned.

"Well I can understand why you'd be wondering about them. Coming to school oddly dressed and then not coming to school for two days, is a little odd."

"We brought the homework they've missed," said Hikari speaking up.

"Ah good. I was meaning to have someone pick it up but just didn't have the time."

A small pause erupted as Touji and Kensuke continued to stare at Misato.

"Would you like to come in?"

Kensuke and Touji practically leapt at the opportunity.

After taking their shoes off hastily, they followed Misato into the living room were they could hear an odd assortment of noises going on.

"Hey Shinji what's-" Though Kensuke was silenced as something went flying past him and struck the opposite wall.

"DAMN IT BAKA! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO NOT LAG BEHIND!"

Touji had to cover his ears so they wouldn't explode from Asuka's outburst. Kensuke meanwhile had his hands over his head expecting to be dismembered any second. Realizing that Asuka's anger wasn't directed towards him, he turned towards his right to see what had flown past him. Shinji was sprawled in a heap against the wall with his legs sticking up in the air and his shoulders resting on the ground. He had a red foot mark on his cheek.

"Sh-Shinji?"

Shinji realized then that other people were in the house besides him, Asuka, and Misato.

"Kensuke? What are you doing here," he replied, moving around so he could see who else was in the room? Asuka apparently noticed that they weren't the only ones here either as she saw Hikari.

"Ah, the teacher wanted us to give you your homework for the past few days. Hikari tagged along to give Asuka hers as well."

"Ah thanks, I think. Homework was the furthest from my mind."

"Same," replied Asuka.

"Well, if you two fall behind on your studies then I couldn't call myself a proper guardian," said Misato speaking up.

"But homework compared to this."

Hikari, Kensuke, and Touji suddenly realized what she ment by this. They were both wearing the same dancing outfits that they had worn to school that day, though it was what they were doing with them that seemed odd. In the middle of the living room was an odd looking contraption. The floor was covered with two large black mats that had oddly placed colors around it. In the back round of each was something that looked like a scoreboard. Currently each side showed zero.

Touji was about to open his mouth to ask if this is what Shinji and Asuka had been talking about when they were up on the roof three days ago when Kensuke elbowed him in the ribs. Hikari wasn't supposed to know about the Evangelions, and they weren't even sure if they were supposed to know.

"You two look as stupid as ever," said Touji commenting on their outfits.

"How bout I punch a hole clear through that smirking face of yours ass-hole," said Asuka acidly. That shut Touji up for a while.

"So what are you two supposed to be doing with this...odd thing?" Asked Hikari.

Asuka and Shinji both started stammering their own versions of things when Misato intervened. "Why don't you two just show them what you're doing. Its certainly a lot easier than explaining this."

"No! I don't want them to see me doing something this humiliating," said Asuka.

Sighing Shinji said, "C'mon, Asuka. Lets just show them. Its not like we can embarrass ourselves any further."

Asuka turned towards him then with a glint in her eyes that could kill and Shinji almost took a step back.

"Damn it, fine! But if you screw up again I'll break that damn scoreboard over your head!"

"Hai, Hai. Lets just get this over with."

Asuka glared at him once more before taking her place own place on the mat next to his. After dawning both sets of headphones they both closed their eyes and their bodies started to move.

Hikari and the other two were both wide mouthed, gaping at the pair as they attempted to replicate each others movements based solely on the song. Misato, in the back round, had long stopped paying attention to how they were doing.

It was a bit depressing really. Shinji sped up and slowed down at random times while Asuka seemed to get faster and faster with each movement to the point where Shinji was about to pass out from trying to catch up. Very rarely did the score even get above five when Misato said that one hundred was a requirement for what they were doing. Though she didn't say what, since the other three weren't supposed to know of the Evangelions.

After a painful ten minutes Shinji finally tripped over his own feet in exhaustion and went face first down onto the floor. Asuka twitched slightly as she opened her eyes and saw a passed out Shinji on the floor and was just thinking of bashing him over the head with his own scoreboard when he stirred.

"Damn it! Why can't we do this."

"Its because you can't keep the pace."

"No. You're moving at an inhuman pace. How the hell do you expect me to keep up with that!

"Baka, you're useless."

"You certainly can't be counted as perfect either."

"Tch, I'm much better at this and piloting Eva then you'll ever be!"

"What's Eva?"

Shinji and Asuka spun towards at the sound of Hikari's voice while the others seemed to do the same, including Misato.

"Eh heh... What Hikari?" Asked Asuka who's mouth was slightly twitching at the corners.

"I said what's Eva? Does it have something to do with this...thing?"

"Ah well..."

Sighing Misato sat up and quickly thought up a decent enough lie to make the situation pass by.

"Eva is a game at the arcade that Asuka and Shinji compete against each sometimes. Shinji hasn't won once."

"Hmmm? I don't think I've ever heard of that."

"Ah...its fairly new," said Shinji catching on to the situation. Asuka appeared to be angry though at Misato's blatant lie. It made her look like a nerd.

"Well, I think these two need to get back to training. So I think that I'll have to ask you three to leave now," said a smiling Misato. Though in truth she was trying to reduce the effects of having the Evas spoken of.

"Okay. When do you think you'll be back to school Shinji?"

"A week or so...maybe more."

"Okay I'll bring more homework in a few days."

"Can't wait," grumbled Shinji.

After Kensuke, Hikari, and Touji left Misato stormed into the living room only to find Shinji and Asuka in another heated argument.

"HEY!"

Asuka and Shinji stopped yelling in each others faces briefly to turn and see an angry, red faced, Misato.

"Do you two have any idea how close you were to letting the world know about the Evangelions."

"Is it that big a deal?"

"Of course it is! While their aren't many in existence if regular citizens knew about them then they'd want to start sticking around during battles and taking pictures. Not to mention every child your age would want to pilot one."

Shinji snorted. After five minutes in an entry plug they'd be having second thoughts.

"Anyway break time over, back to work."

Both Shinji and Asuka continued laying there though. Neither of them wanting to be the first one to stand, though it was Asuka that broke the silence.

"Why bother doing this anymore. Its obvious that we can't do this because I'm just so much better than this baka is."

"Okay Asuka," said Misato as a smirk started to develop across her face. "I can either bring in Rei and her and Shinji can start practicing this for the battle against the angel. Or you can match your speed to Shinji's and continue with this."

Asuka opened her mouth at first to yell out an angry retort, but then ended up shutting it. Above all else she didn't want the first child and Shinji taking part in the operation. It would seriously hurt her pride if she wasn't able to complete this.

"Fine! I'll slow down!" Sitting up promptly, she grabbed Shinji's wrist and started dragging him over to the machine.

"Eh Asuka, wait."

"I'm not waiting and I'm certainly not wasting all the hard work that we've done by giving this to Rei."

"Err, what hard work?"

Asuka turned towards Shinji and threw him one of her usual glares before saying, "Just get on your damn mat."

"You don't have to be so forceful."

"I just want to get this over with."

"Hai, Hai. Same here."

After sometime later Misato glanced over at the two who had not moved from the mats since they had agreed on finishing it. With a slight grin on her face she thought, 'I suppose that we might start seeing some results,' as she glanced at the scoreboard to see that they had reached fifteen as their highest score.

'Well, they still have a ways to go,' she sighed as she saw Asuka ripping off her headphones and smacking Shinji in the face.

* * *

"Ah that feels so much better," sighed Asuka as she stepped into the living room with a wet towel draped over her head. It was many hours after they had finished their day of training and were rather proud of themselves as they had reached twenty on the high score.

After looking around quickly, she realized that Shinji was the only one in the living room.

"Oi baka, where did Misato go?"

"She mentioned something about going to a bar," said Shinji as he idly turned a page of the book he was reading.

"Tch. Why is she always gone during nights? Whether its work or drinking, she's rarely home."

"Maybe thats just something that comes with being an adult."

"Well I certainly hope I'm not like Misato when I'm her age. Anyway same rules apply as usual."

"You don't have to keep reminding me," said Shinji as he turned his head towards her. Asuka had moved from the doorway and was kneeling over her futon.

"I Don't Trust You!"

"If I haven't done anything to you the first three nights, what makes you think I'd do something tonight."

Asuka scowled at him for a moment before spinning around and turning on the T.V.

"Baka!"

Shinji simply shrugged and went back to reading. It was really the same thing every night. So far, before they decided to go to bed, Asuka would draw the line that he was not allowed to pass and remind him not to do anything perverted. To that he would usually reply with some sarcastic comment that would tick her off. Though he wasn't really in the mood for it tonight.

Closing the book he was reading Shinji sat up and said, "Not that I expect it but is their any hot water left for another shower."

Without turning around Asuka mumbled, "Find out for yourself, baka."

Needlessly to say, several minutes later, Shinji was cursing as the cold water hit his face.

* * *

After the first night of sleeping together in the same room they both became quickly accustomed to it. Its not like they were sleeping in the same bed or anything. Even so, Shinji drifted in and out of sleep occasionally. Sometimes it was due to dreams, of which he'd rather not remember, and other times it was because Asuka seemed to wake him up. Though not on purpose as it was usually through her mumbling. Shinji was an unusually light sleeper.

Tonight though, a dream he had been having within the past two days woke him up suddenly.

Shinji's eyes flew open as the dream ended and he sat up, shivering uncontrollably. Cold sweat clung to his body and dripped off his forehead and he suddenly had an urge to rip off the loose tank-top that he was wearing.

Running a weary hand down his face, wiping off some of the sweat in the process, he glanced over at the pile of blankets that was Asuka.

'Good,' he thought. 'I didn't wake her.'

Turning back to his dreams he tried to recall it, but he could only remember small details. It was like trying to keep water in your cupped hands. He could only remember the same thing from the past nights and that seemed to be some stranger ringing the door bell at Misato's apartment. Shinji had then gone to open the door and was greeted with a tall man in an overcoat who had sunken white eyes. Shinji knew that he had never seen somebody like that in his life and wondered why he would be dreaming something like that. The man spoke several words but Shinji was never able to hear them as the dreaming started dissolving at that point.

Flopping back down in his own pile of blankets he racked his brain again to think if he had ever seen anybody that might even mildly fit the description. Though nothing clicked.

He could only ascertain this as something to do with his visions, which he now guessed were starting to get stronger. Though he had no idea how this man was related to them.

Turning over on his side he closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again in a flash when he heard movement on the other side of the room. Seemed that Asuka was restless again.

She was tossing and turning again like the previous nights and was mumbling something indistinguishable. The first time that this had happened Shinji had almost gotten up and woken her, but thought better at then end as she would certainly abuse him afterwards. Though each time it tugged at his heart a little.

Here was practically the complete opposite of the Asuka that he knew. A girl that didn't want to show her helplessness, but was most helpless while she was sleeping. Shinji could only guess what her dreams were like as she relived her past repetitively. It was the times that she whimpered and called out for her mom that particularly pushed the boundaries of his resolve to not cross that invisible line. And it seemed that tonight was such a night as he heard her mumble a few words in which he caught, Mom and go. If Shinji had to guess she was begging her mom to not leave her.

Really he wasn't sure how much more he could take as he rolled back over trying to ignore her whimpering. What was he supposed to do? Rush over there, embrace her, and whisper into her ear that everything was going to be okay and that he was going to protect her. He'd get a swift kick to the groin for even thinking about that.

After several minutes of her mumbling as his mind argued back and forth, she finally seemed to settle down. Shinji therefore let out an audible sigh at the ceiling and closed his eyes as though relishing in the piece. Though something tugged at the back of his head and he heard a familiar voice say, "Coward."

Sitting bolt upright in his makeshift bed he spun to his right, only to see somebody that he wished he never had to look at again. What he called pseudo Asuka was staring back at him while sitting on the ground with her back against the couch which was pushed up against the wall.

Shinji mouth seemed to gape openly, unable to contemplate what was going on. Though after she seemed to sneer at him, he came to his senses. Still unsure whether it was in his mind or not he hissed into the room, "What the hell are you doing here? I thought that I was done with you."

"Ah did you miss me?"

"Tch. As if."

"I feel heartbroken. Well, I suppose thats an understatement for what's to come anyway."

It took Shinji half a second to respond to this statement and he nearly shouted it.

"What the hell do you mean!"

"Calm down, you'll find out soon enough. Anyway why aren't you comforting her. If you were in her position how would you feel?"

"I have no idea because I can hardly read her."

"Maybe you should try?"

"Why bother. Every time I do she just rebukes me."

"Didn't seem like that last time. You two were all over each other."

"Y-You know about that?"

"Course I know about that baka!"

Shinji had a sudden urge to laugh at her use of the Asuka he knew favorite phrase. It was so similar.

"So did you just start talking to me again to torment me some more."

"Mah...you could say that I guess."

"You don't sound to sure."

"I can't tell you to much. I'm merely here to see how your decisions change things."

"Full of helpful information as usual."

"Arigato."

"Whatever..."

After a small pause pseudo Asuka asked, "If she sincerely asked you to help her...would you be able to? If she asked you to throw away your humanity for her, could you do it? If she asked you to forsake everybody you knew for herself would you be able to go through with it?"

Shinji turned his head to look at the back of the Asuka that he knew. Sighing he said, "What relevance does that have. Why would she ask something like that in the first place."

"Well, you can't deny that the first option is a possibility. The other two are more to explain my point."

"No...I suppose I can't."

"And? You haven't answered my question."

"I'd like to hope I would. After what we've been through."

"Thats a rather easy way to avoid the answer."

"Well excuse me for still not understanding what you're getting at."

"Fine let me put it bluntly. If her entire world came crashing down on top of her, would you be able to stand under her and protect her from the falling pieces of everything that has happened to her?"

"..."

"Well?"

"...Yes..."

Springing up the pseudo Asuka grinned and said, "Glad to hear it. I'll hold you to that."

The last thing that Shinji could remember before he drifted off to sleep was the pseudo Asuka smiling back at him and he suddenly wished that his Asuka would be able smile that serenely one day too.

* * *

In almost no time at all the day that they were supposed to fight the angel again arrived. They had finally achieved a hundred percent the night before and Shinji was rather nervous as he tried to chew his cereal with a mouth that refused to work. Asuka seemed to be rather jittery also as she was tapping her index finger repeatedly on the table.

After roughly an hour of nervous waiting, during which Shinji suggested they squeeze in some last minute practice at which Asuka just snarled at, the time arrived. Misato left a message on Asuka's phone letting them know that all preparation had been taken care of and that they were ready for them.

"Well lets go..."

Shinji just nodded silently. She must have been really nervous to not tack on her usual trade mark.

After a hasty drive to Nerv, Shinji and Asuka quickly dawned their plug suits and were listening to a rant that Ritsuko was giving about the anatomy of the angel that they were facing. Though Shinji wasn't quite listening.

When they had first entered Nerv earlier he was surprised to see Rei waiting for them. Without speaking to them she had escorted them to the command center and had so far been standing silently in the back round next to Misato, who was chewing on a finger nail. If Shinji had to honestly say it might be very well because of Rei that they had even achieved the hundred percent.

True to his words, Kensuke had returned two days after the initial visit while dragging Touji along with him. Though instead of Hikari tagging along it was Rei, of which Kensuke and Touji didn't seem to keen on walking with. Shinji could only guess at the lack of conversation. Though one good thing did seem to come out of her visit. At her sudden appearance Asuka seemed to put on a spur of motivation and had seemed much keener on working together with Shinji then the usual yelling and abusing. Shinji attested this to the fact that Asuka always enjoyed showing her superiority, and didn't miss a change to prove she was better than Rei. While Rei wasn't the most social person he had ever meet Shinji had gotten used to her personality to borderline enjoying her company, even if it was silent.

"Got that Asuka?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Asuka replying to Ritsuko's long winded explanation.

"Shinji, got it?"

Shinji seemed to be dragged out of his revere and looked at her before mumbling, "Huh...oh, yeah." He couldn't remember a thing she had just said.

"If you understand then get in your Eva's and prepare for deployment," said a slightly disgruntled Misato.

"What's her problem," asked Asuka?

Shrugging, Shinji followed her as the two prepared to enter their respected units.

* * *

Even though they had trained rigorously they still had to adapt that training to be used while piloting Eva. They had therefore been repeatedly told that Eva was just like an extension of their own body. With this mind set they should be able to defeat the angel while it split separately. There was of course that slight roadblock that they always seemed to experience: There constant bickering with each other. Though Misato hoped that they could overcome if for at least a minute.

After extensive trial and error they had finally come up with a way to defeat the angel. While seeming to be stronger while separated, Ritsuko had determined that the overall structure of the angels body was weaker than while one. This was due to the fact that the split originated after constant cells reproduction. Cells have a set limit that they are able to reproduce for and it seemed that an angel was no exception. It was still considered a living organism.

Therefore a plan was put into play to force the angel to become one again so its core could be destroyed all at once. By attacking the separated angels simultaneously within a gap of one minute it was hoped that it would become whole again.

"I'm turning the music on you two and putting a silence on all radio's. I don't want any interference while we enact this," said Misato over the intercom.

Shinji let out a sigh as he tried to loosen himself up a little. This was not a time to have tense nerves. He guessed that Asuka was doing something similar next to him.

Once again he heard the familiar sound of the classical music that they had become accustomed to this last week. Even after listening to it almost every waking second of the past days he still enjoyed it.

"Ba...Shinji? You ready?"

Shinji almost laugh as she caught herself before calling him an idiot. "Yeah, lets go."

Simultaneously the two Eva's stood up from their kneeling position next to the two elevator shafts and did a front flip over the two buildings in front of them. It was really quite comical to see two giant robots doing acrobatics.

"Asuka do you-"

"Yeah I see the bastards!"

Far off on their monitor screen they could distinguish two small dots far off in the ocean, just starting to emerge out of the water. They had specific instruction to not engage the angel while it was still in the water. It would hinder their movements if they tried fighting in the water.

After a hectic minute the separate angel finally brought its feet onto dry land.

Without waiting for a sign from the other, both Eva's bolted towards the beach at break neck speed. It was really a marvel at how well they were working together now. Before if they had tried something so simplistic they would have ended up bashing against each others elbows. Now they ran in a direct line next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, neither getting ahead of the other.

As they neared the beach they both turned, and in a wide arc circled around so that they were position to the far left and right of their respected angels. Kicking off against the sand, they both tore towards the angel they had chosen. Sensing danger the two angels jumped high into the air, creating a large dust storm in the air.

The two Eva's didn't halt their pace until they had arrived directly under the angel. Just before colliding into each other, the two jumped high into the air, higher then the two angels. Turning around in mid air the two Eva's brought both of their right legs back, and dropped them with a sickening crack on top of the angels heads.

Flying back towards the ground the separate angels repositioned themselves and landed with a thud on the soft sand.

"Shinji!"

Without having to think Shinji directed Unit 01's hand towards Unit 02. The two hands grasped each other and they both rocketed towards the ground.

Using the momentum that they had gained as the soared towards the ground, the two Eva's dug their feet into the sand. With hands still clasped, they placed them on the sand, palms directed downward and kicked outwards. The kicking was however met by a stronger AT-field from the combined efforts of the angels and their kick was forcefully blocked.

Breaking off the AT-field the two angels lashed out with their clawed hands trying to slash into the armor of the two Eva's. Flipping backwards the two Eva's were easily able to dodge the oncoming attack.

"Damn it! How the hell are we supposed to defeat them if they use their AT-field like that!"

"Calm down Asuka."

She surprisingly relented and asked, "You got any ideas?"

"Maybe...I mean, its worth a try I suppose."

"Fine! Direct me!"

Shinji was rather taken aback at her willingness to listen to him but quickly told her what he wanted her to do. She didn't particularly like the idea, but she had to admit that it could work.

"Fine I got it," said Asuka as she quickly position herself in front of her angel.

Glancing at the time limit they had left Shinji was startled that they had a little over a minute before the five minutes since the umbilical cord had been detached.

Again, without any means of signaling, the two Eva's dashed forward again toward their respected angels, which Shinji had noticed had been hovering close to each other. If he had guessed correctly they would solely rely on defense until they found an opening to attack. After the first attack they had ushered in, the angels had stuck close to each other so to protect each other.

It seemed Shinji's theory was correct. As the two Eva's neared their targets the angels generated an AT-field larger than the last one. However, simultaneously, the two Eva's generated their own AT-field to counteract the angels AT-field.

During the fight against Ramiel, Shinji had learned something about AT-fields. A large key to the power of an AT-field was emotions. He had remembered that he wanted to defeat the angel no matter what and had generated that large AT-field and ripped apart the flesh of the angel. He had hoped that the same could be applied to this. It seemed like he was right.

He had told Asuka about his hunch, though not specifically saying why he thought that. She agreed that they could give it a shot. So Shinji had told Asuka to think of nothing other than defeating the angel.

He wasn't sure if the same mentality could be applied to an angel. Certainly an angel was a living organism, in the sense that it had flesh and organs. But did it have emotions? Could an angel relish in victory or stew in defeat? Did an angel even have a sense of existence?

Throwing away his hesitancy he projected all his thoughts into defeating what was directly in front of him. Next to him he could feel that Asuka was doing the same thing, and that their wishes and desires were starting to overlap. It was then that Shinji felt the separate AT-fields become one. He supposed that something had actually come out of going to school dressed in that horrendous outfit.

Slowly the angel was pushed backwards as the AT-field grew and the angels feet started sliding across the sand. Shinji finally saw a large crack happening in the angels AT-field and next second it shattered.

Without even hesitating, Asuka and Shinji followed up the shattering of the AT-field with a quick spin kick to the chest. The separate angels stumbled backwards and was about to produce another AT-field. Though Shinji didn't give them a chance.

Dropping down low he swung his Eva's legs out knocking the angel off his feet. Meanwhile, as Shinji had ducked down, Asuka had jumped over him and with a sickening crunch, drove her Eva's balled up fist into the side of the angels head.

While still on the ground Shinji grabbed onto Asuka's Eva's arm and spun her like a ballerina backwards as the fallen angel next to the one she had decked tried to get retribution. With its failed attack Shinji quickly grabbed its outstretched arm and bent it backwards. Over the sound of the bone snapping a loud roar could be heard escaping the angels lopsided mouth. The shock wave sent Unit 01 skidding backwards across the sand, though Shinji felt himself stop suddenly as Unit 02 grabbed his Eva's shoulders and held him steady.

"Thanks, Asuka."

"No problem."

Shinji ended up smiling even though he knew that Asuka hadn't seen. Next second though his smile turned to a frown as he saw what the angel was doing. Apparently it had finally given up the split and was starting to become one gain."

"Asuka..."

"Tch. Finally."

Shinji watched as the sides that had fused together seemed to slide off as tendons and nerves were dislocated from the main part of the body. It was like watching one side of a wall that had wet paint and one that was dry. The wet side was dripping while the dry side stayed firm.

Large pieces of flesh started to fall off and instantly turned black and started to break apart and decompose on the sands of the beach. Putrid black blood leaked out of the half organs that were left to rot in the sun. The beaches sands turned black as blood flowed out of the new open wounds in the side of the angel. The smell of rot entered Shinji's nose and he start gagging slightly.

"Uh, smells terrible," said a raspy Asuka who had her nostrils pierced together by her thumb and index finger.

'Thats an understatement,' thought Shinji.

Then something that truly sent Shinji and Asuka into fits of nauseous upheaval happened. Large strands of nerves and tendons shot out from both of the angels sides and wrapped around each other. With feeling rekindled in the body the separate bodies were able to stand up and it seemed that the connected flesh was starting to reel in the separate pieces.

"Thats disgusting," muttered Asuka.

Shinji agreed with her nonchalantly.

As the two bodies became one again the flesh bubbled over the recently closed wound and turned smooth as though it had never separated.

Without any change in demeanor the angel quickly regained its pace and charged at Unit 01. Without thinking, Shinji created a quick AT-field that was easily smashed as the angels fist tore through it.

"Shit!"

Doing a flip backwards Shinji landed next to Asuka in Unit 02.

"We got it to join, but now what?"

"I thought you had a plan after the last one!"

Shinji didn't want to remind Asuka that this wasn't a time to fight and remained silent.

"Well if your not going to do anything, I'll go first."

Before Shinji could argue that it was better to work together, Unit 02 kicked off against the sand and put on a burst of speed towards the angel. Quickly ducking the blow that was intended for its face, the angel delivered a brutal uppercut to Unit 02's jaw.

Shinji winced slightly as he heard Asuka groan in pain, but really, it was her fault for being so rash.

"If you're done fooling around, I've got another idea."

"Well aren't you being useful for once."

Shinji ignored her spiteful retort and said, "Its quite simple since we out number him now."

"...Fine...I'm listening."

After a hasty reply on what he intended her to do she simply sighed and said, "Fine I'll be the bait."

"No...I'll do it!"

It took less than a second for Asuka to reply, "Eh?"

"It'd be better if I do it."

"Hmmm? Well aren't you acting gallantly all the sudden."

"...I'd just prefer it if I did."

"Fine just move! We don't have much time!" Screamed Asuka as she watched time ticking away for their remaining energy.

Shinji had started moving before she finished her sentence.

Appearing in front of the angel, he swung out but was quickly met with a strong AT-field. Shinji had no time to worry about breaking it and quickly spun around the side of the angel and attempted to elbow it in the side, but was met with another strong AT-field. This time spinning around towards it back, he reached in the shoulder holster on Unit 01 and swiftly wiped out the progressive knife. Stabbing in a backwards motion it was met with thin air as the angel had done a back flip and was not hovering above Unit 01.

Shinji quickly rolled out of the way as an AT-field attempted to enclose him and slowly crush him to death. Standing back up he was greeted by the angel as it dove down towards the ground with its legs outstretched, intending to kick Unit 01 in the chest. Shinji quickly ducked underneath as the kick barely missed the side of Unit 01's head. Simultaneously he swung in an arc above his head with the progressive knife, slicing into the angels thigh as it passed over him.

Doing several cart wheels backwards he noticed that he was at the edge of the beach were it connected with the ocean.

Breathing in a weary sort of way he wiped some sweat off his brow and he charged in again. As he neared the angel he swung the progressive knife wildly towards where he suspected the core was. Normally the angel would have generated an AT-field this time to prevent another wound, though Asuka hadn't permitted that.

While Shinji had been occupying the angel, Asuka had been patiently waiting for an opening to attack in a swift fashion. Shinji had wanted her to do this part largely because she had more experience with actual combat then he did. She had been in more combat situations and training and was able to read a situation like this better then him.

So before the angel was able to generate an AT-field, Asuka appeared from above and drove her own progressive knife directly into the skull of the angel, preventing any nerves from communicating for a brief moment. It was in that moment that Shinji dug his progressive knife into the stomach of the angel. Grabbing the handle with both hands, Unit 01 dug the knife in further and with a quick thrust, slashed upwards, cutting the abdominal cavity in two in the process.

Blood and organs cascaded out and onto the ground as the angel started writhing around, shaking Asuka off as it started unleashing its fury.

Before it was able to start regenerate though Shinji noticed something that had fallen out of the abdominal cavity and without a second though pierced it with his progressive knife.

What was left of the angel exploded suddenly in a viscous red haze that splattered blood in a one kilometer radius. Shinji looked at what was left of the carcass of the angel was throughly glad that he didn't have to take any part in the cleanup.

Breathing out a sigh of relief he glanced over at Asuka and said, "Nice job."

"What would you expect from the best."

'Maybe a little quicker next time,' thought Shinji.

Suddenly Misato's face appeared on the monitor at his side with a beaming smile on her face.

"Great job you two, really great. I suppose that the training paid off."

"Please don't ever mention that training again for as long as I live," shuddered Asuka.

Shinji just laugh. In the end it hadn't been all that bad.

"Oh, I know. As to celebrate I'll take you two out to eat. And to be fair I'll ask Rei to come along."

Asuka's mood suddenly turned sour. "Food does sound good, but why does the first child have to tag along?"

"Why couldn't she," mumbled Shinji?

Asuka's face suddenly appeared on the monitor directly in front of him and she looked like she was about to exploded.

"PERVERTED BAKA! YOU JUST WANT TO HEAR HER PRAISE YOU!"

"Ah...is Asuka a little jealous," smirked Misato.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Calm down Asuka. I ment it as a joke."

"Tch!"

"Well, anyway...get back here and let the hazard team start cleanup. It could take a while..."

"Hai," said both Shinji and Asuka simultaneously.

* * *

In the end Misato had taken them all out for ramen. Asuka had been outraged that her effort was equal to about one bowl of ramen. Not to mention that Rei had joined them which only improved her mood. And now Shinji had to deal with that mood as they returned home.

Asuka swung the door open hard and it banged off the wall. There had already been several large dents accumulated since she moved in and this only added to them.

"Do you have to do that every time you get in a bad mood?"

Asuka slowly turned her head towards Shinji who was frowning at the door and said in a quiet voice, "What was that?"

"...Never mind. It doesn't really matter."

"Good."

Trudging over to the living room she quickly seated herself on the sofa and flipped the T.V. Shinji was about to do likewise though when she hollered at him.

"Hey, get me a bag of chips and a soda."

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so. Now move it!"

Shinji grumbled and in the end gave in to her wishes. It seemed that nothing had changed.

After rummaging around in the fridge and cupboard for the items she requested he walked back in the living room and deposited the chips on her chest put the cold drink next to her face. She seemed to jump slightly at the cold that was touching her face and glared at him for his annoying action. Swiping the bag of chips off her chest she popped them open and starting eating them by the handful.

Shinji sighed and thought, 'Back to the usual Asuka.'

Turning around he was about to got crash in his room when he heard her mumble through a mouthful of chips.

"Ba...Shinji?"

"Huh?"

Turning around, Shinji just saw her take a large gulp and downed half the soda. Setting it down she wiped her hands on the sofa getting rid of the crumbs from the chips.

"You...I mean...not that it means much but...thanks, for your help."

Shinji scratched the back of his head confusedly wondering what had happened with this sudden mood change.

"Erm, well, thanks."

Asuka sat up then and frowned at Shinji before saying. "By the way...why were you looking so keenly at the stupid first child while at the ramen shop?"

"Huh? Was I?"

Asuka's eyes seemed to flash crimson like a demons. "Your perverted eyes were all over her."

"I really have no idea what your talking about."

"Go ahead and feign stupidity. Pervert!"

Shinji was at a loss of how the conversation had gone from somewhat friendly, to this.

"Well, if thats what you think, I guess it doesn't really matter. I know I wasn't doing that."

"Doesn't real-Were you born stupid?"

Shinji was about to retort back at her that she was completely overreacting and that he had never even thought of looking at Rei when the door bell rung.

Asuka and Shinji both turned their heads towards the sound.

"Did you lock the door after you walked in," asked Asuka?

"No...I don't think so."

"Can't understand why Misato would ring the door bell then."

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other, hoping that the other would get up and find out. Then-

"Fine I'll check."

"Good."

Shrugging as though he didn't care either way Shinji slowly got up, walked out of the living room, and into the hallway. After stopping in front of the door he suddenly wished they had one of those peep holes so he could find out who it was without opening it. Though he supposed he didn't have much choice. Maybe Misato had gotten too drunk and couldn't remember how to open doors.

Swinging it open he mumbled without looking first.

"Yes?"

What answered him was not something that he had been expecting. The voice was that of somebody in their late thirties or early forties. Certainly somebody Shinji didn't know. What's more the voice was that of a man.

"Is this the home of Misato Katsuragi?"

"Uh-huh." Shinji didn't know what to do in situations like this. Was this some guy that Misato had dated once?

"I see," he replied in a strong male voice. 'Almost sounds like somebody that works in real estate,' Shinji thought.

"Then is there somebody named Asuka Langely Soryu living here?"

Shinji had to do a double take. How the heck did this guy know Asuka?

Replying in an offhanded way he said, "Erm, well, yeah."

"Could you tell her that I'd like to talk to her."

Shinji hesitated slightly and glanced at the guy. Now that he had gotten a good look at him he noticed that he had a well mannered face and seemed to be dressed in a pair of slacks and a Hawaiian button up tee-shirt. He seemed to be good natured enough and so Shinji mumbled, "Yeah, hang on, I'll call her."

Looking over his shoulder he hollered just like she had done earlier.

"Oi, Asuka!"

"What, damn it!"

"Somebody at the door wants to talk to you."

"Huh? To me?"

"Yeah."

"Heh, most be another idiot wanting to invite me to their college. I can't count the idiots I've yelled at since I got here."

"I don't think its exactly like that," said Shinji as he heard Asuka sliding off the couch.

"Whatever. I'll find out for myself."

Shinji would never forget the look on Asuka's grimacing face as she poked it out of the living room to get a glimpse of who the person was. Shinji did not believe that it was a face that Asuka was even capable of making. Now though her expression would forever be etched in his mind as her grimacing face slowly turned from one of surprise, to absolute loathing, then, to scared and afraid. It was this last expression that Shinji had never expected to see on her face. It was unheard of for Asuka to become afraid.

Slowly, Shinji saw her open and close her mouth pitifully and saw that she seemed to shrink from where she stood. Her hands slowly formed at her chest and slowly wrapped themselves around her body as though she was trying to protect herself from the stranger. Her legs became wobbly and Shinji firmly believed that she would have collapsed if he hadn't quickly rushed over to support her.

Holding a steady hand on her shoulder he took a good look at her face and saw that tears had formed at the corners of her eyes and were threatening to spill forth. Shinji opened his mouth slightly but quickly closed it. Slowly, his gaze shifted towards the stranger who had not budged since he had rang the door bell.

"I'm back, Asuka..."

Shinji looked quickly back at Asuka who's tears had finally spilled forth, reflecting sealed memories and the fear that she had lived with to this day.

As Shinji heard the single word she uttered, he felt a strong hatred that he had never felt in his life. Stronger than his hatred for his own father. A hatred that could only be directed at one person.

"Fa-Father?"

* * *

**Got this done a lot sooner than I expected. As usual I end up changing stuff here and there to change the story to something more...original I guess is the correct word. With regards to the anatomy of the angel...its something that I was always curious about. Also I was curious about how they generated an AT-field. So with regards to that I decided to throw in the fact that they function just like a human, in that they have a brain and send signals throughout the body. Which explains why when Asuka stabbed directly into the brain of the angel it was briefly...unconscious I suppose is what you could call it. **

**On another note how did you like the cliffhanger? Was it expected? I had planned on including Asuka's father to show up later and in a different scenario...but I decided to do something different for that specific scenario. Anyways this is long winded and what not so I'm gonna stop now.**


	9. Relapse

**As you can tell this is a much longer chapter than I've ever done before. Large reason for this is because I'm going back to college in three days so I won't have as much time to work on this as I'd like. So hopefully this will make due for now. I had thought about splitting it up also, but in the end decided to go with what you see here.**

**

* * *

**

"Fa-Father?"

Shinji felt Asuka shiver uncontrollably at her own words, as though she had just gotten out of a walk in freezer. With his gaze still fixed on Asuka he watched silently as the tears continued to fall off her chin while a boiling hatred was erupting inside of him. If he were to take one step forward he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself and probably end of killing the man. He would have deserved it too. Instead though-

"Asuka...is it really you? You look just like your mother," whispered her father.

Shinji's eyes flew towards him. How dare that bastard even acknowledge that he recognized her this many years later! How dare that asshole mention the similarities between her and her mother! How dare that whore mongering piece of shit even be breathing the same air as Asuka!

Asuka's father seemed to notice that he was giving him a death glare that could melt the armor right off of Eva and seemed to hesitate before stammering.

"A-A-Asuka...is that you? It is isn't it? Please...I-I wanted to see you. I wanted to see my only daughter."

It was at that moment that Shinji exploded, letting forth the pent up anger. He wanted to talk with the daughter that he had tossed aside? He wanted to act like everything had never happened and they could start over entirely from scratch? Shinji couldn't let that happen even if he was reborn as a dog. He'd tear this fucker's leg off before letting him get close to Asuka.

Just as her father took a hesitant step forward, Shinji took an assertive step forward and placed himself directly in front of Asuka, blocking his view. He wanted to make his action extremely clear and without a doubt in the man's mind standing in front of him.

"Asuka does not want to talk to you," he said in as calm a voice he could muster. In truth he felt like ripping the guys throat out.

The air was so tense that you would have had to cut it with a chainsaw. While stammering over his words, Asuka's father said, "But...I-I I thought you just said...that it'd...b-be okay if we...ta-talked?"

"That was before I found out who you were," Shinji whispered in that same calm voice that radiated pure loathing.

Asuka's father was obviously not used to talking with a teenager like this and tried to retort angrily, "This doesn't concern you. So if you could please move out of the way I'd like to speak with my daug-"

Shinji cut across him and with each word his voice grew louder, "What right do you have to speak to a daughter that you threw away! What right do you have to call her out when she's finally found some place that cares for her! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO TALK TO HER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

At Shinji's hate filled words, her father took a few hasty steps back as though giving himself a decent head start if Shinji decided to kill him.

"Please," he started pleading. "I know I screwed up, and I know that I don't deserve to be forgiven. But please...she's my only daughter, and I still love her."

"LOVE HER! WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU EVER SHOW THE SLIGHTEST SIGN OF LOVING HER!"

"I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg for mercy if I have to. Just please..."

Shinji glared hatefully at the man bowing in front of him. His entirely body twitched and it was taking an enormous amount of willpower to not break the guys skull open.

Grimacing back at him he took several slow steps towards the door before looking down at the pitiful human in front of him.

"You lost the right to talk to her long ago. Don't come crawling back to her five years later as though you can make amends for everything that happened."

Before her father was able to start begging again Shinji shut the door with a loud snap and locked the door knob along with the dead bolt. Misato be damned right now. If she forgot to bring her key to unlock the dead bolt then that was her problem.

Shinji stood in front of the door for a few seconds. If he rang the door bell again then Shinji would have thrown open the door and really broken his skull. Though he was saved the opportunity to be arrested as he heard shuffling footsteps walking away from the door.

All the tension seemed to evaporate out of him. Even though he had put up a brave front he was honestly scared. Asuka's depiction of her father made him out to be a heartless man that wouldn't hesitate to violence. Before, he didn't know what to expect if he ever met the man. The contrast from his mind to reality was a long ways off. He seemed like a complete push over. Maybe it was the alcohol that made him particularly violent.

Finally turning around he felt his face sag as he saw that Asuka hadn't moved from where he had left her and that tears were still pouring from her eyes. It seemed that they were built up over the course of many years.

Without hesitating he walked slowly towards, and, moments later, stood in front of Asuka. Words weren't needed to express each other, though Shinji couldn't possibly grasp what torment Asuka was currently going through. He wanted to let her know that he was there for her and opened his mouth to mention that.

Before his mouth got half open though she leaned forward and almost made him topple backwards as her entire body weight came crashing onto him. Instinctively, Shinji braced himself and brought his arms around her back so that she wouldn't slide off to the side. So, she was snugly being held against his chest. Shinji could feel the gallons of water slowly be soaked into his already sweating dripping shirt.

Asuka's legs finally gave in and the need to be standing became pointless. As her legs collapsed, so did Shinji's along with her as he matched his fall with hers. So, kneeling in the middle of the hallway, Shinji let Asuka shed her worries onto his chest. At first it had been solely him that had his arms around her waist. Though after a particularly loud wail, Shinji felt himself being pushing backwards onto the hard wooden floor while her arms wrapped around his waist.

'Huh?'

Shinji didn't fully comprehend until long after his back had hit the floor; and Asuka's face was nestled against Shinji's collarbone, what was going on. It certainly was the closest they had come with an intimate moment. Asuka's body was perfectly aligned with Shinji's body to the point where he couldn't tell the difference between their two heartbeats. After a while, Shinji felt that a small pool was starting to build up in the crook of his collarbone and knew that this wasn't the time to be sharing something like this.

Relinquishing his grip around Asuka's waist he brought his hands to her shoulder and tried to convince her to stand up, though she didn't seem to want to comply. While Shinji wasn't really disgusted by their position, he didn't want things to get carried away. If he took advantage of her, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. If they were to develop a more romantic relationship he didn't want it built upon something so heart wrenching as this. So with a little more coaxing he managed to get Asuka to sit up, though in some aspects it was worse as she was now sitting in his lap. He was surprised at how small she seemed then.

"Asuka...you okay?" Of course she wasn't, but he found he had to start somewhere.

Asuka however didn't seem like she was in the mood for talking quite yet and continued sitting in Shinji's lap with a dejected look on her face.

After another minute of silence between the two, Shinji let out a weary sigh. It wasn't that he was annoyed with her switch to a helpless girl who couldn't do anything. He just didn't think that the helplessness suited her. She should be pacing around the room insulting her father and calming him as many names as she could muster. He would have gladly joined in.

After the audible sigh Shinji decided to take things into his own hands. Sliding out carefully from under her, he held onto her arms so that she wouldn't topple backwards. After pulling the last of his left leg out from her, he propped his hands behind his back and glanced at her face. She had now pulled her knees up as close as they would go to her body and had buried her head between them.

After another pause she finally spoke. "Shin-ji...?"

"...Hrm?"

"Ari-gato..."

"...Don't worry about it."

Shinji watched as Asuka finally looked up at him. Her tears appeared to have stopped but her eyes were extremely blood shot.

"Think you can stand?"

Rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands she mumbled, "Yeah...I think so."

Placing both hands on the ground she slowly pushed herself up and on to wobbly feet.

"See I'm fine," she said in an attempt to pass off everything that had happened. Though next second Shinji had to rush forward as she took a hasty step forward and ended up losing her balance.

With her head resting on Shinji's chest again she opened her mouth and mumbled something that Shinji had never expected.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for this. It's because I'm so wea-"

"Don't say it!"

Shinji fiercely wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her in closer.

"...Don't say that...never. You're the strongest person I know."

Asuka let out a small hiccup which seemed to be concealing a laugh. "Baka," though it was much softer. "Thats not something a girl would want to hear."

Shinji could have laughed. "Anyway, if you couldn't stand you should have said."

"...I didn't want to be a bother."

"I'd worry about it nonetheless. Now come on, I'll take you over to the couch."

"...Wait, Shinji. What are you...WHAAAAA?"

Asuka's protests were silenced as Shinji brought his left arm up and snaked it around Asuka's shoulders, while his right arm took her off her feet and ended up resting just under her thighs. So, in one fluid motion, Shinji ended of sweeping her off her feet. Which Asuka wasn't terribly thrilled at, as his right arm was dangerously close to her butt.

"Shinji...what are you doing...?"

Shinji could hear the obvious threat in her voice but didn't care, at least she was feeling better if she was able to talk like that. Though as he glanced down at her face which was frowning up at him he had to turn his eyes away quickly. She was blushing. Was she embarrassed? It seemed nothing would surprise him after the events of today.

Answering in a way that sounded like he didn't care, he replied, "This is the easiest way to move you, and its not like you're heavy or anything." 'More like you're too light," he mumbled in his mind. He felt now that she had been pushing herself to hard through the training and remembered that they had skipped meals occasionally. He rebuked himself for those times.

Setting her down on the couch he propped a pillow behind her head and drew a blanket across her chest.

"...Hang on I'll get you some tea."

"Hrm," mumbled Asuka as she curled up in the blanket.

Walking out of the living room Shinji entered the kitchen and quickly busied himself with making tea, and rather strong at that. He had found Misato's stash of hard liquor while cleaning one day and figured that Asuka could use some of it.

Pouring something that had an alcohol content of forty-seven percent in the cup of tea, he carried it to the couch where Asuka had sat up to accept it.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

Taking a long gulp of it, her face turned sour for a moment as she thought about spiting it out.

"What the hell did you put in this?"

"...Something to make it a little bit stronger."

"Tastes like shit."

"Its the thought that counts."

"I suppose...well, it certainly warmed me up."

A moment of silence passed between the two as Asuka held the half empty cup in her hands. Even without drinking any, the warmth that it still radiated was enough to warm her up significantly. That, and the fact that Shinji had made it.

"I knew this would happen. Even so though, I had wished that it wouldn't."

Shinji sat down on the floor in front of her and frowned up at her.

"You mean you knew that your father would reappear? What made you think that?"

"I don't know. Well...no, thats not true. My father can be very possessive at times. I figured he'd come looking for me when I had aged a little, since I look almost exactly like my mother. Even though he said all those things about my mother whenever he was drunk, he still cared for her. I think that he sees herself living through me."

"Thats a twisted way of thinking. So what? He says he wants to see you again because you look like your mother?"

"Yeah, something like that, I think."

"Bastard needs to stop living in the past. You are yourself, not some ghost of your dead mother."

"As I said he's too possessive. He just wants to see the image of his wife in me."

Shinji snarled angrily at that point and stood up.

"I won't...no I can't. Something...just like that. Its just...disgusting. I swear that if he tries something like this again I'll step on him with Eva."

"Heh, heh, heh," after a short pause Asuka said, "thanks...Shinji. If you weren't there...I don't know how I would have dealt with it."

"You won't have to worry about it again!"

Asuka at that time wearily shook her head and looked at the carpet with downcast eyes, "Thats not entirely true. He'll catch me off guard one day. I don't know what his job consists of right now, but I think he's a CEO in some company. He'll hire someone and eventually meet me through that guy."

Shinji was shocked at how well Asuka had thought out these multiple scenarios. It showed how much she had prepared for this day.

"No...its better if I do this how I planned it..."

Shinji flinched at her words. "What do you mean?"

"This is my problem okay!" Said Asuka flaring up for a moment. "This is something that is my problem! I want to resolve this my way! I don't want to rely on anybody else to resolve this!"

A stunned silence passed between the two of them after her outburst. Shinji opened his mouth angrily to tell her that he didn't care. That he would help out anyway, when she cut him off.

"No means no! Now stop asking!"

Shinji closed his mouth in a dejected way. Every fiber in his body was screaming out against her demand.

Her mood seemed to turn cool then as she looked around the state of the living room. "Even though last night was the last night to sleep in here we never did got around to moving back to our rooms."

"...Yeah I suppose so..."

"No reason in going back now I suppose. Well, since it doesn't matter, I'm calling the couch."

'I'd give it to you even if didn't say that,' Shinji thought.

"Oh...and, uh, Shinji/"

"Hmmm?"

Shinji turned towards Asuka to see her sitting up with her hands in her lap. Shifting her lower body left and right it seemed like she was building up for something.

"What?" Shinji asked again.

"I was hoping that you could sleep next to me tonight..."

"...ehh? ...WHAT?"

"BAKA! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! PERVERT!"

"Then how the hell did you mean it!"

"Well...that is...I mean. I wanted you to sleep on the ground next to the couch." Asuka said this last part very fast, while a light tinge of pink started to appear on her cheeks.

"...I suppose... But why? If you don't mind."

"...I think I'd feel better if I knew you were close..."

Shinji stuttered over his next words, "Ye-Yeah...sur-sure. No-no problem."

Asuka frowned at him and tutted slightly while thinking, 'Jeez, he doesn't have to get worked up so much.'

Dragging his futon over towards the couch he laid it out next to it. Turning off the lights hastily he turned back to his futon and laid down on it. He could just make out the shape of Asuka's arm as it was laying next to the edge of the couch. Turning over on his side he closed his eyes and prepared to drop off to sleep when he felt her nudging his side.

"Hey Shinji."

Flipping over onto his other side he practically hissed, "What."

Asuka was on her other side now, looking down at him with her hand extended and her index finger recoiled slightly as though preparing to flick him in the head. Shinji flinched at the gesture and closed his eyes, expecting to feel a sharp pain through his nose. What happened was much different.

Shinji had to open his eyes to confirm what had just transpired as he thought his brain must have temporarily turned off. Starting at the outline of Asuka's slightly smirking face, his eyes traveled down her arm and towards her hands. In the end he went cross eyed trying to see if what she was doing was true.

Asuka had her index finger pressed softly against Shinji's lips. Shinji felt his heart speed up and slow down maniacally in the span of three-seconds and thought that he might be having a heart attack. Her finger was unusually warm.

Looking back up at her smirking face Shinji saw thought he saw a glint in Asuka's eyes before she whispered, "Oyasumi."

Pulling her index finger off his lips she flipped back over to her other side, let out a small yawn, and drifted towards sleep.

Shinji lay there for what felt like a decade before he came to his senses. Taking his own index up towards his lips he pressed them there for a minute before letting his arm flop useless at his side. He really didn't understand, but was happy as it was.

"Oyasumi," he mumbled before closing his eyes.

* * *

Shinji didn't dream that night, which was certainly a blessing. Though he felt that sleep left him too soon as something was pushing him roughly on the back.

"Shinji...OI, SHINJI!"

Snapping his eyes open, he turned towards to the sound of the complaining. Asuka was sitting up on the couch while her legs were resting on Shinji's back. Glancing at the alarm clock on the other side of the room he saw that it read eight o'clock.

"Uhh, to early," he mumbled while pushing Asuka's legs off him.

"No its not, and I'm hungry."

"Its a weekend, lets sleep longer."

"That should be my complaint. C'mon...make me breakfast."

Pushing against his back, Asuka ended up rolling Shinji over onto his stomach and then back onto his side.

Turning towards her Shinji glared at her briefly, though it soon evaporated to that of a smirk. Her face looked like that of a child's on Christmas Eve.

"Oh fine..I'm getting up."

Shinji yawned widely and crawled out from under his blankets. Walking on tired legs, he slowly made it to the kitchen with the assistance from the wall as a support. Asuka walked behind him smiling widely the entire time.

"Ok Asuka what do yo- ...Misato?"

Shinji was looking at his guardian who was seated at the kitchen table with a spoon half way to her mouth.

"...Oh, Shinji. Asuka. Morning."

"...When did you get back?"

"Hmmm...a few hours ago I suppose. I can't remember last night very well."

"Yeah I can smell-I mean tell."

"Hmph."

Misato turned back to her measly breakfast as a small sigh escaped her lips. "So how come the dead-bolt was locked-"

Shinji who was in the middle of opening the fridge froze as Asuka did the same thing as she sat down.

"-because I seriously doubt that any burglar would bother trying to steal anything from this apartment."

Shinji glanced over at Asuka quickly as he straightened up, though she didn't want to meet his gaze. She had become extremely interested in a pattern on the wooden table. Trying to pass it off, Shinji said, "Oh that? It was supposed to be a way to get back at you, for the training. In case you didn't have your key, you would have been locked out."

"Hmph, not very thought out, and not a very good lie."

"Lie?" Asked Shinji as he put a glass of orange juice in front of Asuka.

"Yes, lie."

Shinji and Asuka both flinched in silence waiting for the hammer to drop.

Sighing again, Misato leaned back in her chair and mumbled, "When I came home earlier this morning there was a man sitting on the stairs at the bottom of this apartment complex. He seemed to be mumbling Asuka's name over and over."

At her words Asuka accidently knocked the fresh glass of orange juice off the table where it met the hard ground with a shattering sound.

Shinji stood there helplessly as Misato uttered a few words.

"Asuka...is he your father?"

The walls came crashing down again as Asuka shuttered uncontrollably, and Shinji wasn't next to her. What separated the two of them was a wooden countertop that Shinji suddenly wanted to dive over to comfort her.

"...Asuka," he mumbled, not knowing what to say.

Misato turned her eyes towards him and he caught her meaning only to clearly, though he didn't like it. 'This is something she has to overcome. Stay out of it for now.'

Turning back to Asuka, Misato saw that she had raised her face and muttered, "Yeah...that bastard is my father."

Shinji was shocked at how strong her voice was. It was like all doubt had been removed from her mind.

"...So he is..."

"Yeah."

"And? Are you going to talk to him?"

It took all of Shinji's willpower to not blow up then. How could she even ask something like that? Though it was Asuka's reply that really threw him for a loop.

"I think that I might...in the end."

Shinji stood there dumbstruck at her words.

"...wha?"

Turning towards him Asuka said, "I thought I told you last night Shinji, that I wanted to do this my way. So would you stop worrying about me!"

"...I..."

"Shinji," murmured Misato, "let Asuka decided. It is her life after all."

Shinji couldn't take any more.

"How the hell can you even be suggesting that she talks to her father! Do you know what the bastard has done...tried to do!"

"Of course I know all about her past. I'm her guardian. I was given papers by the German branch of Nerv explaining everything about her."

"Then how the hell can you go along with this!"

"Because its not my decision! Its hers!"

Shinji seemed to deflate, all the anger seeping out him.

"Fine, whatever."

"...Shinji," mumbled Asuka.

"Go! If you want to talk to him so bad go!"

"Fine...I will."

Standing up quickly Asuka trotted to her room, dressed quickly and took off out the door.

Shinji meanwhile had turned the other way and was forcing himself to not take off after her. How could she be so stupid? Did she honestly want to talk to her useless father? Of course not!

"Shinji?"

"...What?"

Turning back around, Shinji saw that Misato had her elbows resting on the table and had abandoned her breakfast. "Do think you know what's best for Asuka?"

"Of course not. But I have enough sense to know that this is not!"

"Do you think this is what she wants?"

He had to use every ounce of willpower to not shout.

"No, of course not."

Leaning back in her chair Misato muttered, "You don't really realize what's going through Asuka's head. Do you?"

"I don't rea...what is that supposed to mean!"

Standing up quickly, Misato let her chair fall backwards and said quite passively, "Asuka wants to reconcile with her dad!"

"..."

"...What? That...can't be. How can she trust him...after... NO! THATS WRONG!"

"Shinji listen to me."

"NO! I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!"

"SHINJI!"

"WHAT!"

"SIT DAMN IT AND LISTEN TO ME!"

Something about Misato's words seemed to draw him. Misato rarely had an outburst and this was the first that he could remember. Looking towards the door that he was half way to already, he looked back at the seat that she was pointing at.

"Shinji..."

"Fine..."

Turning around he walked back to the chair, crossed his arms and sat down.

Misato sighed, picked up the chair that she had kicked aside, and sat down in it. Crossing her own arms and even her legs she frowned at the stubborn teenager that was sitting across from her.

"Shinji, don't you think your being a bit prejudice because of your own father."

"My own...what?"

"Look, to put it simply...you've never had a family. You were to young when your mother died and can't remember her. Your father...well, yes he left you, and so you've never known what family is like. So you can't understand how Asuka felt before her mother died."

"But what does that-"

"It means, that deep down Asuka wishes for the days when she still had a family. Even if she doesn't want to admit it she still misses her father. Her father is the only relative that she still has. Well, I know that she has a grandmother on her mothers side but I don't think she's ever talked to her."

"But what if-"

"You need to stop living in the past. Stop shoving your own hatred of your father onto Asuka. Don't you want her to be happy about this."

"Well yes, but-"

"Shinji...are you worried that Asuka will leave?"

An erie silence filled the house at her words. Shinji hadn't had time to think about something like this. Though now it certainly felt like a possibility. If Asuka and her father made up then she might move away. Of course she'd still be needed for Eva, but her father might move down here to be with her.

"I haven't thought of that."

"But its still possible."

"...Yes, I suppose it is."

"If Asuka does leave she will still be needed at Nerv. She's to deeply involved to simply be released now."

"So at best I'll see her at Nerv and maybe at school."

"Hmmm. She could change schools of course."

"This is all assuming that she will reconcile with her father."

"You still doubt her?"

"No...I doubt her father."

"Well I can't deny that he was a bastard for what he did. But if it makes you feel a little better I did some research on him when Asuka first came to the Tokyo-3 branch. Apparently he became sober shortly after Asuka left. He seemed to realize that he had chased his daughter away. Shortly after he help a friend out with some business transactions, and was offered a position at a large investments firm. Earlier this year he was promoted to a CEO."

"Sound like he got his shit together."

"Well, thats one way of putting it."

The two lapsed into silence and shifted there eyes to the door at the end of the hallway. Would Asuka really decide to leave? Did she want to make up with her father like Misato said? Shinji was unsure about the things rushing through his head but knew that he'd be by Asuka's side if she needed him. He could promise her that much.

Letting out a low sigh Misato stood up and said, "Well, no use in worrying about something thats already transpired."

"...Yeah I guess."

"Well I'm going to sleep."

"Huh?"

"I haven't slept since two nights ago. I'm beat. Uh I think I might have had too much alcohol also."

Shinji blinked and replied, "I didn't think the words 'alcohol and too much' would ever come out of your mouth."

"What? I'm still human after all."

"Hmm, yeah."

Shinji stood up along with her and was just thinking of laying back down when the apartment door opened and in walked Asuka. Shinji could see her father standing a ways away and had to suppress the urge to glare at him as she closed the door.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"Err...is everything okay?"

"Ah, yeah its fine. ...I'm going out for a while-

Shinji frowned. It really did seem like she wanted to talk with her father. The corners of her mouth were pulled up slightly. Though it seemed she was trying to suppress the swelling feeling in her stomach.

-so I thought I'd just let you know."

"Ah...okay..."

"Shinji?"

"Its fine," he mumbled while turning around. "If this is what you want then I shouldn't stop you."

"...Thanks for understanding. ...Cya later then."

Asuka turned around and had just put a hand on the door nob when she felt something grab her other hand. Turning her head she saw that Shinji was looking keenly at her, as though his eyes could pierce the hesitancy in her heart.

"Be sure to call if anything happens..."

"...I will..."

Relinquishing the firm grasp on her hand, Shinji watched as she hurriedly opened the door. Looking back at him, she gave him a reassuring smile before turning to her father with an equally wide smile on her face. As the door swung closed Shinji had difficulty suppressing the emotion that were welling up inside of him. He didn't know when he'd see her again.

* * *

Shinji ended up going back to sleep, even though he felt wide awake before. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Running away from the present was all he felt like doing, and thats why he decide to sleep for the remainder of the day. Though it was still difficult. He floated in and out of his dreams and everything seemed to co-mingle, and lead to a depressing future. One that didn't involve Asuka.

It felt weird when he sat up suddenly, all sleepiness apparently gone, though he wasn't particularly sleepy in the first place. At first he thought that somebody had woken him up but realized that there was no one else in the room besides.

'Thats right, Asuka's off for a bit.' He said just a bit but in reality he was nervous about never seeing her again. What if something happened between her and her father and he got violent again. Would she be able to escape and return? Or would he find her and-

"Fuck no!" He yelled while standing up. "Thats not gonna happen!"

"Eh, what's not gonna happen?"

Shinji had to blink several times to get his eyes back into focus. The slow form of Misato started to appear in front of his eyes. 'So this is what being drunk is like,' he thought.

"Misato?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Asuka back yet?"

"Nope, its only been a few hours. Its only around noon."

"Ah...I see."

"Anyway could you do me a favor?"

"...Like what?"

"Ah...well, I'd do it myself but I've got a splitting head ache. So could I ask you to run over to Rei's apartment and give this to her."

"Give? ...Wait huh? Ayanami?"

"Yes, this." Holding out a small laminated card Shinji saw that it was a security card with Rei's face and profile on it.

"Is this a security card?"

"Precisely. Hers expired so I need to give it to her. Could you to give it to her"

"Erm...well I suppose so."

"Ah thanks. I wasn't sure how I was suppose to give it to her. Anyway here's her address. Do you know where it is?"

Shinji glanced down at the street and number. He had passed it many times when he used to take his evening strolls.

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the area."

"Ah, good. Well off you go then."

"Ah...okay. ...Wait. Has anybody called?"

Misato seemed to see through his casual comment and said, "Don't worry I'm sure that Asuka is fine."

"...Yeah. Well cya."

"Yeah."

Shinji tossed a pair of socks and socks on with a sweater that he grabbed out of his room. It looked like it would rain soon.

Sure enough, as he made his way down the steps of the apartment complex, he felt the first droplets of rain. Looking up at the sky he saw dark grey clouds hovering overhead. It seemed that it would get nasty soon and a thundershower looked possible. He was inadvertently reminded about his first encounter with Asuka and the subsequent task of hauling her back in the freezing could rain. He hoped that something similar wouldn't happen.

* * *

"I suppose this is the place," Shinji mumbled as he stood outside of a door in the freezing cold. The walk was longer than he remembered and he had gotten soaked on the way. Now though, he was standing with a soaking sweatshirt and equally soaking pants, standing outside of a door that read Ayanami Rei on the door.

Not noticing a door bell anywhere he knocked on the door twice and muttered.

"Ah, Ayanami...its me...Shinji. Umm...I've got something that Misato wanted me to give you. So if you could...open the door...or something."

Shinji realized then that this was probably the most he had ever said to Rei.

After waiting there for several minutes he started to get annoyed. Without thinking about the consequences he muttered, "I'm coming in," and turned the door nob. In reality he hadn't been expecting it to be unlocked and now had no choice but to enter the small apartment.

He was first impression wasn't one of glamour, thats for sure. The apartment was one giant room it seemed except for a closet and the bathroom. The kitchen was off to the side which hardly looked as if it had been used and at the far end of the long room was a bed that seemed dark and depressing.

Taking his shoes off he walked through the small apartment and ended up looking down at the bed where Rei must sleep each night. It really seemed like it had not been used in ages. The small table next to it seemed similar as dust had settled on it. Did someone even live here?

Without knowing what else to do he ended up leaning against the wall opposite the table. Pulling out the security card that Misato had give him he glanced at it. Rei really was an unusual person. Even though all the info about her person was on the card, he still felt that something was lacking. He couldn't quite place it though.

As he was about to place it back in his pocket he heard the opening and closing of a door, which made him jump and drop the card that he was holding. Bounding off against the wall he swiped the card off the ground and skidded into view of Ayanami Rei who had just opened the door to her apartment.

Under normal circumstances, and a normal girl, Shinji would have found himself getting a face full of pepper spray and a kick to the crotch. Instead though Rei seemed to completely ignore his existence, place the bag she was carrying on the kitchen and stroll past him.

Shinji hesitated before he turned his head to see what she was doing, and almost face palmed. She was changing. If he hadn't been living with Asuka and Misato for over a month this might have made him die of a nose bleed. Instead he turned his head back around and waited until she was done. Though really nothing had changed, as she was wearing the same school uniform that she always wore. What, did she have twenty pairs of the same outfit? Asuka would have a fit at her wardrobe.

Turning around, he had to take a step back as he found that she had closed the distance between them. He was looking back into her crimson eyes.

"Why are you here?" She asked, though without anger.

"Oh...that, right."

Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the security card that Misato had given him.

"Misato wanted me to give this to you."

Blinking as though she didn't understand she held out her hand and Shinji let it slide into her outstretched palm.

With saying anything else she deposited the card on the table and walked towards the kitchen to put away the things she got.

Not sure what to say in her presence, Shinji gestured around the apartment and said, "Nice place."

'Couldn't I have thought of something a little better than that,' he sighed in his mind?

"It suits me."

Shinji turned towards her and saw that her expression had not changed at all. Not sure of what to say anymore he muttered, "Well, I guess I'll take off then."

Walking past her silently he reached the door and was about to turn the nob when she mumbled.

"Goodbye."

Shinji's eyes darted back towards her, but her expression had still had changed as she started opening cupboards. Well, at least she had opened up a little. Turning the door nob, he walked out into the pouring rain.

* * *

"So? How did it go?"

"Huh?"

"I mean talking with Rei. How did it go?"

"How was it supposed to go," mumbled Shinji back at Misato?

"I was just curious if you were nervous at all"

"A little I suppose, since I don't know her all that well."

"Well, thats understandable. She doesn't talk all that much with everyone, except for the commander of course."

"The comman-...my father?"

"Yeah, thats what we're supposed to call him at Nerv."

"I always forget that he's an important figure there. So she talks to my father?"

"Yeah, quite animately in fact."

"...I can't imagine anybody talking to my father and enjoying the conversation."

"Thats because you've never tried yourself."

"Can't deny that. Well, I'm going back to sleep."

"Huh? Why?"

Shrugging, Shinji said, "No reason. Just nothing else to do today."

"Admit it. You're just waiting till Asuka gets home."

"Am not! I just...don't have anything else to do today is all."

"Hai, Hai. Keep telling yourself that."

"Ah, Urusai."

* * *

Again.

Shinji sat bolt upright in his bed. After a rather reluctant argument with himself, he decided to move the futons back to their respected room, including Asuka's. Now he was in his room, in his own futon, with his body entangled in the blankets. The dream that had woken him up had not been pleasant. No, words couldn't even describe it.

Spinning around, he first looked out the small window and was shocked to see that night had already fallen. Turning the other way, he glanced at the clock that was on his small dresser. It read seven-thirty. Something seemed to click in his head. Seven-thirty?

At the sudden realization at how long he had been sleeping he quickly jumped up and threw open the door. Darkness greeted him. Apparently he was the only other person in the house. Misato must have gone out not long ago and...Asuka. Where was Asuka?

Walking into the living he quickly flipped on the lights and glanced around. He didn't see any changes since he moved stuff back to there rightful place. Even the couch didn't seem like anybody had been on it since morning.

Next second a blue flash seared in front of the window and made Shinji jump. It seemed that it was still raining, and had worsened.

Furthermore, it was late at night and still Asuka hadn't come back. 'Well, maybe she had left a message,' Shinji told himself.

No message. Looking at the cordless phone he instantly knew that she hadn't called as there wasn't a blinking light. Now he was starting to get worried.

'Well, I suppose she could have gotten sidetracked while with her father and-'

Somebody knocked on the door.

Shinji spun around so quickly that he cricked his neck and at the same time froze. If it was Misato or Asuka why would they bothering knocking on the door. Unless Misato had locked it before she left and now Asuka was standing there infuriated that she was locked out.

Gathering himself as he walked towards the door, he at first thought of opening it without worrying who it was, but decided on the safer course of action. This wasn't the most friendly neighbor hood in Tokyo-3 Shinji had learned.

"Ah...who is it."

"...Me..."

Shinji tore the door open so hard that the hinges threatened to snap off. Breathing heavily, as though he had just ran a mile, he was looking at a soaking wet Asuka who's face was currently aimed at the ground. Only now did Shinji remember what she had left in. This morning no one would have guessed that the weather would have turned out so nasty. The sun was out without a trace of clouds in the sky. Four hours later the sky looked like someone had painted it grey.

Asuka had been in such a hurry that morning that she had thrown on a pair of jean-like shorts that went down to her knees, while she wore a white sleeveless shirt with a pair of sandals. Certainly not the type of clothes you'd want to walk around in the rain with.

Her strawberry colored hair was messy, and plastered all over her face. She was shivering uncontrollably and seemed to have tears running down her face. It didn't help that her shirt was completely see through, revealing the white bra underneath.

Shinji stood in the warmth of the apartment, while Asuka stood on the doorstep in the freezing rain. The two contrasts couldn't have been more different.

Unable to say a word Shinji took a few small steps forward until he was directly in front of her. He could feel the warm breath as it tumbled out of her mouth and landed on his face.

Opening his mouth to the smallest degree, one would have thought he was a ventriloquist as he whispered, "Hey...Asuka..."

Her shoulders seemed to tremble violently at the sound of his voice. Slowly shifting her head to look up at him, she opened her mouth a fraction of an inch and whispered back, "S-Shi-Shin-shinji...Shinji!...Shinji!...SHIN-"

Shinji cut her off before she was able to continue. Wrapping one arm around her waist and clasping his hand in hers, he pulled her forcefully through the door with such ferocity that he was afraid he might have pulled her arm out of its socket. To anybody that was watching this it would have looked like they were dancing.

Quickly slamming the door he turned to the dripping wet Asuka where a puddle had started to form beneath her. He had over a hundred questions to ask her, each one more reluctant than the last. But he knew he'd have to eventually. First though he had to get her out of those wet clothes.

"C'mon...lets get you out of those wet clothes first. You must be freezing."

Asuka didn't acknowledge that she heard him, nor did she even seem to recognize where she was. Maybe she thought she was still out in the rain.

Taking matters into his own hands he grabbed both her hands this time and steered her towards her own room. Moving the door open with his foot he pulled her gently into her own room and had her sit on her futon while he searched for something warm.

"Uh lets see...hmmm...this will do I suppose," he mumbled to himself after settling on a large red sweater and a long pair of pants. Though things didn't go as smoothly as he wished.

After grabbing a towel from the bathroom and wrapping her wet hair in it he encountered a problem. Asuka didn't seem willing or able to change out of her clothes. Shinji wasn't sure, nor did he want to know what had triggered this helplessness. But he certainly had a good idea and could feel the blood pounding in his ears as he thought about killing the man.

After turning over many ideas in his mind he decided to just go with the most blunt option...and help her into her clothes. Finding a long black sock in his room, he tied it securely around the back of his head so that it would cover his eyes. He was determined to keep her dignity in tact.

After much hassle while trying to get her shirt off she finally seemed to get the idea and complied with his actions. It was a lot more difficult then he imagined, as he had to do it solely through touch and experiment. Normally he would have been killed twenty times over. Ten for even thinking about doing this, and another ten for even attempting it.

After finally getting her to kick off her shorts, he was rather reluctant to continue with the next step and was extremely glad when she spoke up.

"Enough...I'm not a child."

Sighing in a weary and happy way, he mumbled, "Glad to see that you've come to your-"

"KEEP THAT FUCKING THING ON!"

Shinji was just in the middle of pulling the sock down, so that it didn't cover his eyes anymore, when his hand was grabbed and forcefully removed from the sock.

"What are you-"

"I'm changing out of my underwear damn it! Keep that damn thing on until I say so. And don't even think about look-"

"I don't think you have to worry about me looking. After practically stripping you with my own two hands I think I've had enough for one night."

Shinji heard a sharp intake of breath then and flinched as he thought he was about to get slapped across the face. Though no stinging sensation appeared on his face.

After several minutes of hearing her shifting clothes around, Shinji was allowed to take off his rudimentary blind fold.

"About time..."

"Shut it."

Asuka had changed into what Shinji had chosen and was wearing the red sweatshirt and dark blue jeans. It also seemed that she had chosen a long sleeve shirt underneath the sweatshirt, though Shinji could only see the sleeve of it. She still had the towel around her head and was now rubbing her wet hair with it.

"...Hey...lets go into the living room."

"...Why?"

"I want to know why you've come home in the soaking wet rain of course. C'mon, I'll make you some hot chocolate."

"...It's fine."

"No it isn't actually!"

"I thought I told you to let me worry about my own problems!"

"Damn it! Do you know how worried I was! I slept most of the day because I didn't want to face the reality that you might leave."

"...Worried?"

"Yes. So let me help you. No, I want to help you."

"Shin-ji."

Tears started to well up in Asuka's eyes, but she brushed them to the side with the back of her hand.

"Hmm. Okay."

Taking Asuka's hand, he pulled her out of her sitting position, and into the living room. Leading her to the couch, he wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, and hurried off to make the hot chocolate.

After rummaging around in the cupboard he found some cocoa and marshmallows and quickly added the hot milk.

Rushing back to the living room, he was surprised to find that she had turned the T.V. on was now slouching on the couch cushions. Maybe nothing had really happened and she had just decided to walk home. Though he couldn't see any sane parent letting their child walk home in this weather.

"Here," he mumbled while holding out the cup to her.

"Oh...thanks."

Taking it from his hands she immediately took a large swig and immediately burned her tongue.

"Ahhhh! Hot!"

"What'd you expect, lukewarm?"

"...Shut it."

"Before I even thinking about keeping quiet I want to know exactly what happened today. Why did you suddenly decide to talk to your father? Its not certainly not because you mis-"

"Don't say it!"

"Do you?"

"...I don't know! Stop bothering me, damn it!"

"Asuka!"

Asuka turned slowly towards Shinji as he sat down on the couch next to her.

"Are you...lonely?"

"Lonely? Tch, as if thats something I'd even worry about."

"You are, aren't you!"

"No! I'm! Not! Baka!"

"Damn it! Listen to me Asuka! No, look at me."

Asuka had turned away from him and was now watching the T.V. though not really seeing it.

"...I'm not lonely. I don't need help. I don't want help. I can be by myself. I don't need friends. I need only pilot E-"

"...Stop...just stop it all ready."

Shinji cut her off abruptly by wrapping his arms around her middle. At first she tried to push them away, but finally gave in to his assertion.

"...I...didn't want to be alone. ...I wanted to be loved by him again. I wanted to have a family again."

"...Asuka you fool!"

Asuka turned her head towards him angry but was silenced as Shinji tightened his grip around her middle.

"Idiot! What am I and Misato then? Coworkers? Look at who's around you. Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Ritsuko...me and Misato. What are we to you? Aren't we friends? Even Ayanami is your friend."

Asuka scoffed lightly at the mention of Rei's name. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to have a conversation with her and enjoy it. But she was starting to understand what Shinji was talking about.

"...Asuka...that father of yours could never understand the friendship that everybody has formed with you. So what if you don't have a proper family! I don't either! But I'm able to continue because I have you, Misato, and everybody else by my side. I use to hate everybody...because nobody loved me. I wanted everybody to just disappear so I'd never have to related to anybody else. But, I learned that that was just to painful. ...If everybody was to leave...I don't want to go back to what I once was."

"...Shin-"

"So don't leave! Don't leave with that bastard! Stay here with everybody and continue enjoying your life here! Where you belong!"

"...Shin-ji..."

Breathing heavily after unleashing his pent up thoughts since he knew that Asuka might be leaving, he unwrapped his arms around her middle and turned the opposite direction.

"So don't leave...ever..."

"..."

"Now...why were you outside in the freezing rain, because if it has anything to do with that bastard I'm gonna-"

"Its not what you think. It was my decision to be out there."

"But why were yo-"

"...Because of my father."

"Then it is his-"

"Shut it for a minute and let me talk."

"...Fine..."

"...Okay so I was somewhat glad that I was able to talk to him again. I hadn't talked to him for five years so of course I was happy. He took me out to lunch in his new Mercedes and we went shopping afterwards. Overall I had a good time. Then though he started talking about how he wanted to see me more, like bringing me back with him to Germany. I told him that it was impossible since I was to heavily involved with Nerv here. He said that I could just work at the German branch."

"After that things started to go down hill. It was obvious that he wanted to spend more time with me...but I just wasn't ready for that. After everything that he had done how could I be? Though what really pissed me off was when he introduced me to his new wife. I felt like I was looking at my dead mother."

Shinji opened his mouth, but closed it quickly. He could guess where this was going.

"In short, she looked so much like my mother that it was disgusting. He wasn't happy enough that he had me, his daughter, the splitting image of my mother. He had to go and fuck around with other woman, and I know they were fucking as she was pregnant...four months she has."

A small silence appeared at her words in which Shinji wasn't sure if he should talk or remain quiet.

"After learning that I'd be living with a woman that looked exactly like my mother and a child that would look the same, I decided I had had enough. My fathers personality had not changed in those five years. He may not have touched a bottle of beer in years but he was still the same selfish bastard that I hated. I left them. And guess what? He'd didn't even bother looking for me. He was to busy talking with his new wife about what the baby's bedroom was going to be like and whether it was a boy or a girl. He didn't even care in the end about the daughter that he already had."

Shinji digested everything in his mind, but the same thing still came out. Her father had abandoned her once again.

"...Its unforgivable," he whispered.

"I don't care anymore. I'm done with him. If he comes crawling back to me this time I'll kick him in the crotch and tell him to get the fuck out of my sight."

"Good...he deserves it."

"...Ah I'm tired now, after all this talking."

"Well, your futon is in your room again."

"Speaking of my room, what made you think you had the right to help me dress?"

"...That was because you didn't seem capable!"

"Whether I was or not, doesn't matter. Pervert!"

"God your so-"

The front door opened.

Shinji and Asuka both turned their heads towards the sound of the door and heard the shuffling of feet across the wooden floor.

"Misato?"

"Oh Shinji I'm so glad that you're here...Oh Asuka good your here also. Listen we have a problem."

"What?"

"Well...while walking back to the apartment from my car...I-I met Asuka's father."

Shinji felt Asuka's entire body seize up next to him and instinctively reached out and grabbed ahold of the hand closest to him.

"What did you say," whispered Shinji?

"Asuka's father is outside the front door and demanding to see Asuka. He said something like he's taking her away, and that she's better off not staying here anymore. Hang on...I'll contact Nerv and get him arrested-"

"No...I'll take care of this," whispered Shinji calmly. His voice held venom in it.

"Shinji he's an adult. What do you plan to do?"

"...What I should have done yesterday."

"SHINJI WAIT!"

Standing up hurriedly before Misato could stop him, he didn't even realize that Asuka was still holding firmly onto his hand. So before he knew that she was next to him, as he was opening the front door.

"About time," said a snarling voice.

Shinji froze. No...it wasn't.

Reality was to cruel.

Shinji was looking back at the subject of his nightmares for the last week.

Asuka's father had a long, tan, overcoat on over the slacks and dress-shirt that he was wearing. In addition he had a hat on, pulled low over his eyes, so that Shinji could only see the whites of his eyes in the lack of light. His dreams had finally come to fruition. How could he have been so stupid to not realize this sooner?

Taking a rather hesitant step backwards, he felt pressure on his left hand and looked around to see Asuka leaning up against him, with both her hands holding onto his. It seemed to give him new strength as he glared murderously back at his enemy. With the blooding pounding in his ears, and his entire body shaking angrily, he managed to get out a few simple words.

"Leave. Asuka doesn't want to stay with you."

"I think thats my decision and no one else's, kid."

"No...you're wrong. Its Asuka's decision above all else. And she has decided to stay here."

"I'm her father! I make the rules! And I'm telling her to return with me to Germany!"

Shinji felt Asuka shiver next to him and had to restrain himself from not breaking her father in half.

"I'll say it again. Leave."

"And I'm saying that I don't take orders from a kid like you! You will return my daughter to me-"

"Father!"

Shinji and Asuka's father both turned their heads to the strong voice of the frightened girl clutching her friends hand.

"I'm no longer your daughter. You don't have one. You lost the privilege to call me your daughter a long time ago. Leave! I don't want to have to listen to your sniveling bitching anymore."

Asuka's father was rendered speechless for a minute before lashing out in anger. His face twisted into a sickening grimace as he retorted, "Tch, spoiled brat. Fine be that way. Stay here for all I care, I never cared for you anyway. In the end you're just like your mother. A slu-"

...Snap...

Shinji's fist collided directly against the side of his face, instantly shattering his jaw, and connecting with his temple. His bottom and lower jaw overlapped each other quickly with the sound of two rocks being ground together. His lower jaw unhinged from the top and seemed to dangle their effortlessly, tearing apart the bottom lip and ripping the roots of his teeth out in the process. Blood spewed forth from his opened mouth as the top part of jaw bit down on his tongue, ripping off a piece of it in the process. The slimy substance slid out of his mouth and onto the ground. The force of Shinji's blow had even broken apart some of the cartilage in his noes, making him bleed from the nostrils.

Above all else it was the hit to the temple that seemed to do the most damage. Shinji had swung with all his might and had struck a part of the human body that was...rather sensitive. He blacked out almost instantly as the blow to the cranial lobes made blood drip from the ears. The blow had additionally cracked part of the skull.

The entire thing transpired in less then three seconds as Shinji struck and now looked down at the man which he wondered if he had just killed. A pool of blood was slowly starting to from beneath him and the smell of it was already starting to linger in the air.

Shinji felt a strong throbbing sensation in his hand and looked down to see that he had split open the knuckles in his right hand; the one he had swung with.

"Shinji..."

Shinji wheeled around to see a wide eyed Asuka looking at him while Misato had her mouth wide open behind her.

"...Sorry...I couldn't let him talk about you like that. He deserved it."

"Shinji," said an exasperated Misato. "You might have killed him."

"He'd deserve it." His words were ice.

Rushing over to the man laying on the ground, Misato grabbed his wrist and managed to find a weak pulse.

"He's alive."

"I'll fix that really quick," mumbled Shinji as he walked over to the almost dead man, but something grabbed onto his wrists.

Turning around he saw Asuka had one hand on his wrist, while the other was resting on his shoulder.

"Its enough. He'll be lucky to be able to talk after this. I don't want you to have to go to jail because of something like this. He won't go to jail? Will he, Misato?"

"No, he shouldn't. I'll arrange stuff with Nerv and have them claim it was self defense. Considering your fathers record, it'll be believable. Though Shinji...what you did...I still can't-"

"I'll listen to it later."

Turning around, Shinji walked by a wordless Asuka, and walked into his own room before sliding the door closed.

Misato eyed the door heavily before looking back at the man on the ground. Shinji seemed to be showing more signs of aggression lately, making her wonder if piloting Eva Unit 01 was creating these mood swings.

Really, he needed to learn to grow up.

* * *

Shinji rolled over onto his side. His clock read midnight.

Rolling back around he had a sudden urge to vomit. He had just been reliving the nights events, and was still surprised that he had almost killed Asuka's father. He could remember the feel of his fist as it collided with the side of his head and the feeling the as skull as it cracked. It still sent a shiver down his spine. Against all his willpower he had still resorted to violence. Sure he had thought of it, but had never really intended on beating the shit out of him. Even so, he would have done it again most likely, because of what he had said to Asuka.

Earlier that night, just before Shinji dropped off to sleep, he remembered Misato talking through his door. She said that Asuka's father had been taken to a Nerv hospital and examined. In order to repair his jaw he would need screws inserted into the bone to hold his jaw in place, not that it would do any good in the first place. The blow to the cranial lobes had apparently done some damage to his brain. All he could do so far was drool and shit himself; talking seemed next to impossible. Big change from the man that was once a big CEO just a few hours ago.

Well, he considered himself lucky. If he really had killed the man, he didn't think Misato would even be able to gloss over it. She had already spent some time (and money) creating eye witnesses that would testify in court if they had to, saying that it was all self defense.

He should be happy, but he wasn't. He didn't think that anything productive had come out of his paralyzing a person. He was even slightly worried that Asuka might be mad at him. Above all else he hoped this last part wasn't true.

"I really screwed up," he mumbled into the night.

Sighing heavily he turned around, and laid on his stomach with is head resting under the pillow. He was just thinking about turning his SDAT on and forgetting everything when something surprised him.

He heard the door sliding open.

In his desperate attempt to scramble around to see who it was, he heard somebody hissing through the small gap in the open door.

"Don't move...don't say anything."

The voice almost made him yell.

"Asu-"

"Quiet, baka."

He blinked several times to try to see any sign of her outline behind the door, but it was just to dark.

After an abrupt silence, Asuka spoke up. "Hey...is it okay if I stay here for a while?"

"I thought you didn't want me to say anything," Shinji mumbled.

"...What?"

"Nothing. ...Do as you please."

"Hmm. K'ay."

Shinji rolled back the other way then and closed his eyes. It's not like she needed his permission if she wanted to stay outside his door.

He completely misunderstood her intensions and realized too late as she slid the door open all the way.

"Wha-What are you?"

Before he was able to turn around, he heard a soft thud land next to him and felt something soft brush up against his back briefly. Next he heard the rearranging of blankets and realized that she had been way too prepared with her own blanket and pillow.

"Asuka, what are you do-"

"Don't look over here...stay facing that way."

"...Okay, but why..."

"...I don't honestly know...I just woke up and found myself walking over here with a blanket and pillow. A-Anyways, d-don't get any weird i-ideas. Now keep quiet, I'm going to sleep."

"No...but this is..."

"What?"

"...Nevermind..."

"Hmph."

The two lapsed into silence soon. Only now was Shinji self-conscious of what was going on. He was sharing a futon with Asuka. Every guy in his class would give an arm and a leg for this opportunity. He had know idea if she was lonely or what, but was relieved that she still appeared to be on speaking terms with him. But something still nagged at the back of his mind.

Disobeying her demands he rolled over to look at her and sucked in his breath as he realized he was a mere centimeter away from kissing her. It would have been funny if one of them had sneezed at that point. Asuka appeared to have expected something like this and was obviously waiting for him to do exactly what he just did. Though she didn't seem at all put off that they had almost kissed, rather, she seemed to be enjoying the close contact.

"So? You want to say something right?"

Shinji turned his head the other way so he was able to breath again.

"Well, yeah," he muttered.

"So what is it?"

"...Are you mad at me."

"...Huh? What kind of a question is that? Why would I be mad?"

"...For what I did to your father."

"What, almost killing him? Course I'm not. He deserved it and this means I never have to worry about him again. I should be thanking you."

"...He still is your father though."

"Tch, I don't have a father. I've got friends, a guardian...and you."

Shinji didn't quite understand why he wasn't included in the friends category.

"Were you worried about something so trivial as that."

"...Yeah."

"Huh...you can be really stupid sometimes. Forget it. I'm not mad...and being here should clarify that."

"I suppose thats true."

"Don't expect this to happen again."

"I never even expected it to happen once."

"Liar."

"Fine, Fine. I dream about this all the time. Happy?"

"Not particularly. Now quiet already. If you can't sleep then go on the couch. I don't want you to be tossing and turning only to wake me up."

'Who was the one that woke who up again?' Shinji thought in his head.

"Anyways...night Shinji..."

"Oh...night."

In the end...he wasn't able to sleep...and passed the rest of the night away listening to his SDAT. Asuka slept the night away in his room, tightly wrapped in Shinji's blankets.

* * *

**I had a lot of fun typing this chapter because its been in my head, floating around, since the start of summer. I have a strong hatred for rapists and guys that abuse woman in general. I guess I let my own feelings sorta flow out from Shinji in this chapter. I can honestly say that I could not be unbiased if I was asked to preside as a juror at a rapist trial.**

**P.S. I'm posting this at a Home Depot.**


	10. Reality

**I'd just like to take a brief moment to thank everyone that has an interest in this story. While I enjoy reviews it still blows my mind that over 60+ people receive emails every time I post a new chapter. Not to mention those story stats can get really high. Arigatoo Gozaimasu Minna!**

**Anyways much shorter then my last few chapters, only around 6k words. These next chapters are going to be fun to write as some more things about Shinji start to come out in the open. Also I'd figured I'd let everyone that reads this know that I'm splitting my time between this and my Negima story. So I'll right a chapter of this and then right a chapter of Negi and so on and so forth. Not likely that I'll get around to working on this till November now. Anyway enjoy.**

* * *

Gendo Ikari sat at his desk with a large manilla envelope in front of him. Namely the medical report on Asuka's father which he had received after hearing about the incident. It was early in the morning; a little over five hours since Asuka's father had been admitted to the Nerv hospital, and the artificial light from the Geofront was just starting to lighten up the darkness in Gendo Ikari's office.

Looking down again at the envelop he frowned and wondered if he could use this happenstance to his advantage. While he couldn't say that he approved of Asuka's father, he couldn't help but feel that the man had furthered his designs.

At that moment his friend, Kozo Fuyutsuki stepped into his office.

"So? Did anything happen?"

"...From what Doctor Akagi has sent me, there doesn't seem to be any sign of contamination."

Kozo let out a sigh of relief. After a slight pause he asked, "How is Seele going to interpret this?"

"...They shouldn't have any suspicions. I have made sure of that."

"...I wonder..."

"You doubt me?"

"No. Just that based on what Inspector Kaji has reported, it doesn't exist."

"There was always the possibility of that. The Dead Sea scrolls were written by humans after all, and humans have a habit of making mistakes."

"Seele might looked into him more."

"As I have said I have taken appropriated measures over the years to avoid that. They only look at him and see a disposable pilot."

"Which is valuable to us."

"...Correct."

With a sigh, Kozo left his standing position and walked over to the large windows that barely generated any of the artificial sunlight.

"...Sometimes I wonder if Yui would approve of what we are doing."

After a slight pause, Gendo said, "Yui wished for the future that we are building. Instrumentality will be complete and people shall change."

"But people don't enjoy change. They prefer things to stay the same so that it doesn't interrupt their daily routine. They become used to normality"

"...They wont have a choice in the matter."

"...Do you really think Shinji will agree to this though?"

"...Eventually he will realize the need for Instrumentality. It is impossible for humans to understand each other any other way."

Turning away from the windows, Kozo asked, "What do you plan to do now though? With this latest incident even Shinji must be starting to feel a change in himself."

"...That is true. When Doctor Akagi sent me the medical files related to Asuka's father, she determined that the velocity of Shinji's punch was well above that of a normal humans. She called it abnormal."

"...That explains a lot."

"We will have to start examining his thought patterns. See if there are any differences between his and another humans. We will include them in the synchronization tests. Tell Doctor Akagi that she is to oversee this herself. Let no one else know about it."

"Very well."

"...One more thing Fuyutsuki..."

"Hmmm?" He said as he turned around.

"...Let Doctor Akagi know that we are testing the dummy plugs later."

"Understood."

After Kozo had left the room, Gendo leaned back in his chair and looked at another file that was next to the medical report. Picking it up he leafed through it quickly to the photo he wanted and settled on the picture of Shinji Ikari being held by his mother. No emotion was held in his eyes as he looked down at his so called son.

* * *

Shinji wasn't sure if it was the yelling in his ear that had woken him or the pounding headache that he felt, still, both of them felt the same. Squinting his eyes open, he pulled the earbuds out of his ears and rolled over to see Asuka frowning at him while tapping her finger silently against her arm.

"Well?"

Shinji, not in the mood to be toyed around with her this early in the morning stubbornly said back, "Well what?"

"Are you stupid. Breakfast."

"Oh that," Shinji mumbled as he rolled back over.

"Get off the couch already and move. We have school today, remember?"

"Not today you don't."

Asuka, and a rather reluctant Shinji both turned to see Misato standing in the doorway of the living room.

"Why don't we have school?"

"I got a call early this morning that Ritsuko wants you two and Rei to come in for tests."

"Uhhhhh."

"Come on its not that bad Asuka."

"Its not that I'm mad about not going to school...but...because of last night."

"...I tried explaining that to Ritsuko but she said that the order came directly from commander Ikari. So no exceptions."

"Fine, fine. I got it."

Turning back to Shinji, she said, "Here that? No school. Should be glad."

"Yes I'm grateful that instead of sitting in a stuffy classroom I get to sit in a twenty foot capsule that smells like blood."

"...Don't have to get so upset about it."

"Fine, I'm getting up."

"Good. I'm hungry."

"So I've heard."

Falling off the couch, Shinji was surprised when Asuka put out a helping hand to him. Excepting it somewhat hesitantly, he stood up slowly with his hand in Asuka's. It was then that he remembered last night and how he had ended up on the couch. Though it was his decision in the first place. Glancing at Asuka he realized that he was now standing and let go of her hand quickly.

"...What's up? You've got a pained expression on your face."

"...Huh?"

"Yeah, you look like you don't feel too good."

Doing something completely un-Asuka like, she reached up and held her hand against his forehead.

"A-Asuka wh-what are you?"

While having her left hand against Shinji's forehead she put her right hand against her own, checking if there was a difference in temperature.

"...Well you don't seem to have a fever."

"Of course I don't! I just have a minor headache is all."

"Baka. Learn to take better care of yourself."

'How can I when I've been stuck taking care of you ever since you got here?'

As Asuka brought her hand back against Shinji's forehead, Shinji happened to steal a glance at Misato and noticed that she had an eyebrow raised and looked like she was about to explode with laughter.

"What?" He finally managed to say to her.

"...You guys looked like a couple just now."

"..."

"Absolutely not!"

Only Shinji happened to say this.

Upon realizing that Asuka hadn't said anything, Shinji spun around and faced her. Asuka was looking straight at Misato and was frowning slightly as though wondering what she wanted to say.

"...I think Shinji's more of a servant actually."

Shinji seemed to deflate on the spot. Really, what had he expected? Though it seemed Asuka noticed this sudden change in demeanor and said, "What? Did you think that I'd want you as a boyfriend. As if! That wont even happen in your dreams."

Shinji wasn't able to stop himself and said, "Then what was last night all about!"

"Sleepwalking," she said simply.

"Sleepwalking? You think everything that happened last night was because of sleep walking!"

"Why else would I wake up and find myself in your room?"

"You're unbelievable!"

"You're a pervert!"

"We all are going to be in trouble if we don't hurry down to Nerv, right now," murmured Misato while secretly wondering what had happened last night. Her imagination was going overboard.

"...Ah shit."

Hurrying out of the living room, Asuka quickly threw some makeshift clothes on and waited by the door.

"Hurry it up baka."

Hobbling out of his room on one foot, Shinji managed to say back. "Yeah fine. I'm ready."

Nodding, Asuka opened the door and walked out into he open air.

* * *

No matter how many times he dawned the plug suit, Shinji could never really get quite used to it. Maybe he was just anxious, though with good reason. He had heard beforehand that his father would be specifically supervising this test, and it made him a little uncomfortable. Why would his father choose now of all times to witness a synchronization test? He had never witnessed it any other times.

As Shinji climbed into Unit 01's entry plug he caught a brief glimpse of his father looking at the three Eva's stationed next to each other. A grimace passed over Shinji's face for a brief instance before he ignored it. His father had become an irrelevant object in his life, one that he could readily do without. Sometimes he wondered what was making him pilot Eva. He had no good reason after all.

'Well...maybe thats not entirely correct,' thought Shinji as he glanced over at Asuka who was climbing the ladder to her entry plug. He supposed that he just wanted to protect everybody that was important to him, and Asuka certainly fell into the category.

"Okay you three, we're gonna start the test. Just perform like you usually do," said Misato from the control room.

"This time you better take us out for dinner," mumbled Asuka.

"Why bother, Shinji's cooking tastes better then anything I could pay for anyway."

Asuka was silent at Misato's words. She didn't want to have to admit it, even though she was likely right.

"Starting the three Eva's...now," said Ritsuko from the other side of the control room.

Shinji felt a familiar sensation of rushing down a tunnel at one hundred miles and hour, only to come out in the bright, open sun. Letting himself become relaxed, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. Which was increasingly hard as his headache was starting to throb again.

Up in the control room Ritsuko was monitoring the three pilots closely, though she was monitoring one of them a lot more than the others.

"Any change in heart rate? Brain waves? Breathing?"

"Negative ma'am. ...Wait. Pilot 01's brain waves are slightly shifting."

"Is it controllable?"

"At this infrequency its nothing to worry about."

"Hmmm. Okay watch it closely and let me know if anything happens."

"Hai."

As Ritsuko turned away from the monitor to look out of the clear glass that acted as a barrier incase an Eva went out of control, and a mirror so the research could be given a clear picture, she wondered if the commanders instructions were groundless or if there was something else behind his words. She had always known after all that he was gifted with keeping secrets.

Back inside the entry plug Shinji's headache was starting to increase in pain, but he attempted to push it to the back of him mind. Though it felt like the source of the headache was his mind.

'_Looks like somethings has changed with you.'_

Shinji heard the familiar voice resounding all around him and had to bite his tongue so as not to start yelling.

'If you don't mind I'm having a tough time concentrating, and you're making it all the more difficult.'

'_I've got nothing to do with that headache of yours. Thats because you acted out simply in anger.'_

'What are you tal-'

'_That girls father, what you did to him.'_

'What the hell does that have to do with my headaches? And why do you even know about that?'

'_Its not like you were keeping your thoughts hidden or anything. Its like a constant screaming in your head of what happened.'_

'Stop damn it!'

Silence for a moment, and then.

'_Whats wrong? Starting to question some stuff about yourself? That punch could have rivaled a boxers. Bit unusual for a scrawny fifteen year old kid to incapacitate a full grown man.'_

'Shut the fuck up damn it!'

'_You should really control that temper. Next time you lash out in anger you just might end of up hurting somebody important to you.'_

'Shut the fuck up!'

'_Be a tragedy to see that red head of yours loose a few of her limbs because you were so stupid and couldn't control your emotions.'_

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Shinji yelled this directly inside of the entry plug and at the same time several things happened.

Shinji's voice was projected directly into the control room where Misato, Ritsuko, and the others were and it came out shrill and high over the intercom. It sounded like he was screaming a war cry of some sort.

Immediately Misato was at the intercom and started yelling back to Shinji what was wrong. Though all she got was a jumbled string of words tied together that she was unable to decipher.

Ritsuko on the other hand had rushed over to the synchronization monitors and swore loudly as she saw that his brain waves were jumping around frantically. Soon the wave lengths between Shinji and Unit 01 started to part and all but ceased. Unit 01 and Shinji's synchronization abruptly halted.

"Get him out of their now! Seal off Unit's 00 and 02 from 01 incase it goes berserk."

Immediately at Misato words the same glass like barrier that separated the control room from the Eva's split down the middle of the floor, enclosing Unit 01 in its own small area.

"Deactivated Unit 01! Disconnect the umbilical cord, revert all available power to life support systems and send the code to eject the entry plug! Do it manually if you have to."

"Umbilical cord removed successfully, but either Unit 01 or its pilot is rejecting the signal."

"Then have somebody get down there and remove the plug manually!"

"Wait a moment..."

Misato spun around and was surprised to see that Gendo had spoken.

"Commander?"

"Wait for a minute to remove the entry plug."

"...If I may ask...why?"

"...An experiment. Keep a contingency crew prepared though. If Unit 01 goes berserk you have my permission to restrain it by any means. Make the rescue of the Eva the top priority, pilot second."

Misato didn't like what he had ment with experiment, but she couldn't very well say no.

"...Okay...we wait for a minute or so then retrieve the pilot. Ritsuko?"

"Unit 01 has rejected all signals. Life of pilot is unknown at the moment. Unable to get a proper reading on anything."

"...I figured as much. Then we wait."

* * *

'Where am I?'

'_We're you should be.'_

'Where is that?'

'_Look around yourself and find out.'_

And so Shinji did what the faceless entity in front of him told him what to do.

It was the world...yet it wasn't. It was a world that was empty, non-existent so to speak. Because nothing existed anymore.

Shinji looked around at the wasteland that he was standing on. Was this Earth in some bleak future where the angels have destroyed it?

He looked down at the ground he was standing on and was shocked to see a white sandy substance around him. Then, looking up, he saw blue sky with a cloud in sight. Whats more, there didn't seem to be anything like a sun in the sky. Why was everything so bright then?

Kneeling down he grasped a handful of the sandy substance and let it flow through his open hand. It really did seem like sand.

'_That is not sand, as you just wondered. But the remains of the four hundred billions creatures that used to live on this planet.'_

'But what is this planet?'

'_The name...I suppose you Lilim call it Earth. Its known as something much more tranquil though in our knowledge.'_

'Your knowledge?'

'_Correct... I am an angel.'_

Normally Shinji would have frozen immediately, but this strange formless shape didn't seem to have any harm in itself.

'So what am I doing here?'

'_First do you know who you are?'_

Shinji thought for a moment and realized that he didn't know what his name was. Shaking his head for a second he frowned at the white shape in front of him. It was then that he realized that the only residual thing he noticed that look at all like a living being was a lopsided mouth that hung at what would be considered a head.

'_Well, I suppose you wouldn't know what your name is. Since you don't have one.'_

'What about you?'

'_My name? Unimportant currently. I'm more interested in yourself. How did you come to be, for you certainly share common characteristics to angels'_

'What do you mean?'

'_I don't know myself. You certainly are human, but something about you...'_

Shinji was silent for a minute as he didn't know how to respond to this. Finally shaking the discomfort off he glanced around at his surroundings again and said, 'What are you doing here?'

'_Hmmm? I was waiting for my time to come. I believe it should be soon. My brothers, while powerful shall not survive. I'm supposed to pave the way for the next generation of angels after all.'_

'You said this was Earth...'

'_It is Earth as we know it. Much different from the lush, green one that the Lilim come from.'_

'Lilim?'

'_Humans...that is what you call yourself. He originally named you Lilim and that is what we have called you.'_

'...I don't even know how I got here, or what my name is.'

'_Well, on that account your name would be Ikari Shinji. Though that is your name given by the Lilim. I had forgotten that the Lilim have changed there ways since they first rose out of the ground those many years ago.'_

Shinji was silent for a moment before he asked something that had been bothering him. 'How old are you?'

'_My age? I have lost count of that nearly a millennium ago. Though I am one of the oldest beings alive in the universe. Of course, angels do not keep track of there age as humans do, because angels are fundamentally immortal.'_

'Fundamentally?'

'_Only an angel can kill an angel.' _

'You say that I'm like you. In what way?'

'_...As I said it is difficult to discern about you because I have never met a human that has the aura of an angel about them.'_

'Aura?'

'_An AT-field so to speak. Of course all humans have an AT-field with some substance, some more than others I suppose. But yours is different. It feels like an angels.'_

'...This makes no sense. How come I have this...'

'_I'm not sure. For someone as me who thought that knowledge was a fabrication of this world, I must say it makes me think as I have not thought in sometime.'_

'...Glad I could help. I think.'

'_Everything comes to an end, even knowledge. Because knowledge is impossible to gain unless things exist. Take this world for instance. If you look up, you see blue sky. If you look down, you see what life has turned into after many years. If you would walk further along this line of sand, you would see never ending miles of it. Nothing. There is nothing here. And so, knowledge does not exist.'_

'_..._But you still retain the knowledge you have gathered.'

'_True, but with the passage of time, things start to slip away. The Lilim are so redundant that I stopped caring for them after the first few years of there existence. They are an eye sore now.' _

'So if I'm a Lilim what are you supposed to do with me?'

The white, shapeless object was silent for a moment as it pondered Shinji's question. Eventually it said, '_You seem to be something that is not wholesomely here. Your mind is wandering while your body lies else where. Your mind is wandering in front of me. If I were to destroy it, your body would become a useless pile of flesh. Harsh, but true. I look at you and think, what should I do regarding the fact that you are both angel and human? I cant judge this situation with out asking for his help. I'll let you go.'_

Shinji realized that he had been involuntarily holding his breath in and just released it.

'How much of this will I retain?'

'_Good question. My guess is that you were brought here against your own will. I don't know how that would have happened though. You should not remember any of this. I think it would hinder more than anything.'_

'Well, I suppose I should thank you for everything that you've told me, whether or not I remember it.'

'_Don't let yourself worry about it. I can only hope that I'm able to meet you sometime again, in a peaceful way such as this.'_

'_..._One last thing, how exactly am I supposed to get back?'

'_Thats an easy one.'_

Shinji opened his mouth to ask what was easy about it when he felt something hook on the back of his navel and drag him backwards. Looking up just in time before he was thrown back into his body he thought he saw a sad smile appear on the shapes face.

'_Though I suppose...that my wishful thinking of a peaceful conversation will come to nothing in the end. Ikari Shinji-kun.'_

Shinji heard no more.

* * *

White. Why is it always white?

As Shinji blinked open his eyes he wondered how many days he had been out. The clock in his body felt completely wrong.

Sitting up he had to wonder if he had spent more time in this room then at Misato's place, but quickly pushed that silly thought away.

Looking to his left he was unsurprised that several chairs had been positioned around his bed. But blinking several times he was surprised that he had missed what was so obvious. Two of the chairs were occupied. One was sleeping with their head resting on the end of his bed while the other was calmly cutting an apple in six equal parts. Shinji thought that Asuka and Rei were the most unlikely pair to be seated at his side.

As though Rei had heard Shinji's thoughts, she looked up briefly during which something tugged at the corners of her mouth. It might have been something akin to a smile.

"Are you feeling better Ikari-kun?"

"...I guess so. I mean...I don't even know what happened."

"Unit 01 went berserk while you were in it."

"...I figured it be something like that. What day is it anyway?"

"Its the same day as the test, though several hours afterwards."

It was then that Shinji realized that no light was coming from outside the large windows in the room. The artificial light in the Geofront had long since dissipated leaving behind a solid darkness.

As Shinji continued to look out the darkened windows he heard a small, "Here," and looked around to see the plate of apples cut neatly in front of him.

Looking at Rei wordlessly he took two of them and popped them into his mouth. It was then that he realized how hungry he had been.

"These are good Ayanami."

"...Ariga-too."

Shinji swallowed hard and glanced back at her. He had never heard Rei say words of thanks before and apparently she had never said it before either as a puzzled expression was on her face. Smiling slightly back at her he decided it was about time to wake someone. If not the smell of the apples was sure to wake her eventually.

Crawling to the end of his bed he frowned down at Asuka. Her hair was a disheveled mess and the skirt and shirt she was wearing was crumpled and frayed at the edges.

Unsure of how to proceed he ended up lightly tapping the side of her cheek with the back of his hand. This was unwise and next moment she shot upwards, smashing the top of her head into Shinji's chin and sending him reeling backwards.

"Baka!"

'First thing up and she already calls me an idiot,' thought Shinji gloomily as he landed on the floor.

As Asuka blinked her eyes open wearily, as though she didn't know where she was, she immediately looked to the bed she was resting on, only to find out that it was empty.

"Shin-"

"Here," said Shinji as he pulled himself back onto the bed and into a sitting position.

Shinji wouldn't have been at all surprised if Asuka had tackled him there and started pounding the shit out of him. Instead she look confusedly back at him before crawling up on the bed and sat directly in front of him.

"Asuka what are you-"

Whack!

Asuka smacked him with all her strength against the side of his head, sending him crashing against the bed frame and thankfully, the pillow which absorbed some of the impact.

Rubbing the side of his cheek he angrily yelled back, "Damn it Asuka! What the hell was that-"

Asuka grabbed the front of his shirt and dragged him in front of her so that their noses were a mere centimeter apart. Throughout all this Rei didn't move a muscle. Maybe she could understand Asuka's rage, even if only a little.

"You idiot! Do you have any idea how worried everyone was! All that screaming and shouting...I..everyone thought that you were dying!"

"...What are you talking-"

"You! You went crazy inside of your Eva. Trying to destroy every damn thing in sight! You almost killed several people."

"...I did what?"

"...You...don't remember?"

"Everything is such a blur that I can barely remember even entering the entry plug."

Asuka looked blankly back at Shinji for a moment before turning towards Rei. If some far corner of her mind thought that Rei was going to help her, she was sorely mistaken. Rei continued sitting there with the same blank expression on her face that she had been wearing for the past few minutes.

Starting to talk more slowly, as though Shinji had some learning disability, Asuka started talking about what happened after Shinji had mentally blacked out.

"Nobody knows how it happened in the first place, but the commander gave the order for us to wait and see if anything changed."

Shinji frowned, he should have guessed that this had something to do with his father.

"I don't know how long I was stuck sitting in that entry plug, but I heard a loud shriek come over the intercom. It was you...but it wasn't you. I mean it was your voice, but...I don't know just something sounded strange about your voice. Sorry if I can't explain it any better than that."

"Anyway, while you were screaming the Eva awoke by itself, with the umbilical cord unattached. Ritsuko later said that you and the Eva weren't even close to having a high enough sync ratio to control the Eva. It awoke by itself I guess and acted of its own accord."

"It broke free of the restraints that was holding it in place, but the odd thing was that it used an AT-field and severed the metallic braces that were attached to it. Afterwards it started going berserk and tried to break the glass barrier. Several times it tried to destroy it with an AT-field."

"...What-"

"Yeah...I thought that I pilot had to concentrate on the generation of an AT-field. After that didn't work though it started pounding on the glass with its arms. I don't think I noticed until later, but your screams intensified then."

"What do you mean you noticed later?"

Asuka was silent for a moment before she said, "...Look at your arms."

Shinji did as he was told and looked at both his arms. They were heavily wrapped in bandages.

"What happ-"

"Ritsuko said that its an anomaly that can occur sometimes, but she said its only supposed to happen if there is a strong sync between the pilot and the Eva. Furthermore it was a rare case. Injury's to the pilots aren't unheard of but yours were different she said.

"How so?"

"...She didn't really say and I didn't press her. I didn't care that much myself."

Shinji was silent for a minute as he wondered what could possibly be underneath his bandages and was tempted to unwrap them, but Asuka would surely yell at him. Deciding on another course of action, he asked, "What happened after that? Did the Eva stop...or something."

"Yeah, except, nobody knows why or how, but it suddenly stopped responding and just stood there while leaning against the glass barrier."

"...You said that I almost killed several people, but I don't see how-"

"...I think that was the part that worried everyone the most. After the commander gave the order to recover the Eva and yourself. Well...when they retrieved the entry plug, you weren't cooperating. That was probably the hardest part. When they managed to get you out you started going into a frenzy, trying to strangle anybody that got near you, all the time screaming. You even punched several people, breaking their noses. Me and Misato were watching the entire thing from the control room. They had to put you in restraints and it was only thanks to Misato that you were let out, after you had calmed down a bit."

"Asuka I-"

"Don't say anything. I don't know what happened to you nor do I care. ...Everyone...including me, is just glad that you're fine."

"But I did something that I had no control over."

"You didn't do anything! You weren't in control. While I hate saying this, I know who you are, and that was definitely not the Shinji that I know inside of the Eva."

Shinji felt oddly touched by Asuka's words. It ment a lot to him that she had said she understood who he was, because he was starting to doubt himself.

"I don't care what Ritsuko or your father says. That was not you, so don't go apologizing for it."

"...Asuka...I..."

"Quit it already! Just think of this as payment for helping myself out over the past few days."

"...No...but anybody would have done that."

Asuka just glared at him and Shinji took that as an end to the conversation. Dragging the talk to something that was less unpleasant, Shinji said something that was sure to get Asuka rilled up.

"I'm surprised that you and Ayanami were able to be in the same room though, and for a long period of time."

"Tch...why do you think I was sleeping? I'd rather waste time sleeping then try to have a conversation with the teachers pet."

Sighing, Shinji said, "I don't know why you're so stubborn. I get on fine with Ayanami."

"Thats your problem, not mine."

Flopping back down onto his blankets, Shinji ignored any further mumbles and sighs from Asuka for a while and looked up at the white ceiling in front of him. White? Why did white feel so familiar all the sudden? As he wracked his brains to try to find an answer he heard Asuka say, "Well you're okay so I suppose I'll go."

Nodding, Shinji said, "Okay I'll go with you...just as soon as I find my-"

Speaking up, Rei said, "Doctor Akagi wishes you to stay here tonight."

Turning towards the sound of Rei's voice Shinji said, "Huh?"

"IvHate to agree with the pet but Ritsuko does want you to stay here tonight, just in case you have a relapse."

"I feel perfectly fine though."

"No arguing!"

"But-"

Completely ignoring Shinji's protests, Asuka stood up, spun herself around, and wordlessly walked out of the room.

Shinji mouthed back at her sudden disappearance before running his hands through his hair. Well, he should be thankful that she had waited by his side for at least seven hours before he woke up. Turning to Rei he said, "She's probably right Ayanami. Even though she didn't want to say anything, she knows that I need to get some rest."

Understanding him perfectly fine, Rei stood up, setting the plate of apples on the table next to Shinji's bed and silently walked to the door. Though just as she was about to pass through the open door she turned and said, "Goodnight, Ikari-kun."

Shinji waited until he could hear her footsteps becoming quieter and quieter before he sprung into action. Carefully grabbing onto a loose edge of the bandages surrounding his arm, he carefully started to unwind them. What was underneath made Shinji feel sick to his stomach.

The skin of his arms looked as though large splinters of wood had been hammered into his arms, only to be pulled back out by the reverse side of the hammer. He had many scars pockmarked across his arms and wondered how in the hell he could have received that from the glass barrier.

...He felt stupid.

Glass is still glass no matter how you look at it. Unit 01 must have managed to split off several pieces in its rage and some of it had been lodged into its armor and in turn Shinji had received these large puncture marks. Though he had to assume that they had been bleeding when he received them, yet here they were, clearly healed as though he had received them two months ago. Yet he always seemed to heal easily, even larger injuries. He remember in the fourth grade when he had broken his arm on the swing set. One week later his arm was fully healed.

"..._something about you..."_

This sudden thought struck him like a bolt of lightning and he started looking around for the source of this sudden thought. Why did it feel like he had heard these words in the same context.

'I've got to be over thinking this,' he said to himself as he rolled over and tried to close his eyes.

Sleep did not come easily that night


	11. Emotions

**Hey everyone, its Halloween...well okay it just turned halloween fourteen minutes ago according to my clock. So yeah I'm posting this very early...because I'm declaring this Double Sunday. (Dragon Ball Z anyone?) So I'm actually releasing two chapters today, the first this obviously and the second one well...I've only gotten five pages out of...twenty-five? I'll try to get it out around two, (Pacific time) but I'm not making an promises. I actually had to help with a friends haunted house yesterday and pulled an all nighter at his house to finish this...Yes I'm very tired. I have not slept yet. There is something oddly fun about dressing up as a clown and scaring little kids though. I don't know...maybe its cause I'm reading It right now. (Stephen King) **

**Okay so few quick things. Number one is that chapter twelve is...not really halloween themed, but its certainly horrifying and gruesome enough in its own right. So thats kinda my treat to everyone. Number two: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT BOAT LOAD OF REVIEW. I had so many reviews/favs/alerts that it started going into my spam box for my email. Anyway this is getting long winded and what not so I'm gonna end it here. Also at the end of this will be a brief preview of the next chapter..just the first two paragraphs. Read at your own risk! **

* * *

Shinji could feel that something had changed, both inside and outside.

He spent much of the next day at Nerv, cooped up in the room with nothing to look at but white walls. He felt like he was some experiment that they had locked up and were now running tests on. When he asked Ritsuko why he had to be kept there for an extra day, and why he would occasionally have to be taken to another room where he would be hooked up to all sorts of computer equipment, she simply said it was to be sure he hadn't been contaminated in any way. Did they consider him stupid?

He had noticed a change in the personal the moment he had left his room; they shunned away from him. Small things he would notice, like lack of eye contact, or jitteriness whenever he would get near to somebody. Bottom line was, he suspected they had suddenly become afraid of him. And a part of him couldn't blame them, if what Asuka had said was true, which he highly doubted after seeing this.

Above all else, he had noticed a change within himself. He seemed more sensitive to his environment, and specifically the facial features of people. His visions had gotten stronger to the point of several minutes of time passing when he couldn't remember what he had been doing minutes before. He felt no change in his physical body, and yet felt that he had grown...an extension of some kind. Like he could project it if his thoughts willed it to.

Something had happened, he was sure of that. Try as hard as he might, he was not able to remember anything from his time enclosed inside of Unit 01. Occasionally he thought he got brief flashes of things that had either happened inside the entry plug, and outside the entry plug. And yet, he felt there was a gap of some kind that was missing. He kept thinking of the ocean and how the sand felt as it crunched between a persons toes.

It was the lowest point he had reached while he had been a pilot at Nerv. The only thing that he found remotely enjoyable was the fact that Asuka seemed to have spent every moment that day by his side. Granted, she was forced to go to school by Misato since they had missed so much recently, but besides that, she had been by his side when he had awoken in the morning, and when she had left late that night. He was even visited by Rei, during the time Asuka was at school and spend a few hours with her. It never occurred to him to ask why she wasn't at school herself.

All in all it had been a hectic day for Shinji and he was immensely glad to be back at Misato's apartment a day later. Well, standing on the door step felt more accurate to say as he hadn't even put his hand on the doorknob yet. Though he was saved the trouble as the door was thrown open, during which Shinji got an eye full of bright, strawberry colored hair, before he was wrenched into the open door and greeted by raucous group of people.

"WELCOME BACK SHINJI," was hollered so loud that Shinji was sure the neighbors below them would call the police.

A large group of people had been crowded into the small kitchen that Shinji thought could never house so many people.

Asuka, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Rei, Misato, and a man that Shinji didn't recognize, were grouped around the small kitchen table, all with beaming faces and holding some kind of drink. In Misato's case it was a beer can.

Shinji stood dumbstruck in the doorway, attempting to take in the scene before him, but failing miserably, and it was only thanks to a sudden bark like cry from Touji that he was able to speak.

"...Everyone...you didn't have to do-"

Misato cut him off quickly, saying, "Don't worry about anything. We heard that you would be let out early and just thought to throw this surprise party is all. You gave us a real scare Shinji."

"Even so," mumbled Shinji as he looked at the streamers that hung from the ceiling and the balloons that floated on the back of the chairs, "isn't this going a little overboard?"

"I tried to tell her that, but she couldn't help herself," sighed Asuka.

Misato shot her a frown with a raised eyebrow and said, "What are you talking about? The entire party was your-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off as Asuka planted her hand over Misato's mouth, silencing her instantly. Though Shinji got the gist, and felt oddly touched by the thought. He didn't think he would have felt the same if it was anybody other than Asuka.

"We've got food and drink Shinji," barked Touji who Shinji suspected had tagged along largely for the food, but was all together glad that him and Kensuke had made it. But did that mean that-

"...I'm surprised that you guys are here anyway," said Shinji as he reached for a glass of punch. "I thought you weren't supposed to know about the-"

"Well...we don't know why you had been hospitalized, but we understand that something went wrong with your Eva and you were trapped inside it," said Kensuke

Shinji almost spit out his punch at this blatant release of Nerv information. Glancing at Misato, slightly worried, he whispered back, "Did she find out?"

"I think she's known for a while," said Touji without any worry about whether he could be heard or not. "We asked Asuka what happened to you yesterday at school. Predictably...she told us to go fuck ourselves. She was in a particularly pissy mood yesterday and almost broke a desk over another students back for making fun of you. I think she should have actually...would have been funny as hell."

"Then what about Hikari?"

"Huh, her? She just sorta tagged along after she heard that we were going to ask Misato personally. I have no idea how much she knows about the Eva's though."

Shinji stole a glance over by Hikari and Asuka who were both leaning against the fridge and talking. With Shinji's heightened perception he was able to catch Hikari's eyes flickering over to them occasionally and thought he kinda knew why as her eyes seemed to be directed at Touji. He even caught Asuka's eyes flickering over to himself a few times.

"So then what? Misato just told you guys about the Eva's?"

"Well, she seemed to already guess that we knew too much and just blatantly said that you had been kept at Nerv because of an experiment problem with the Eva's."

Shinji was rather taken aback. He would never have guessed that Misato would have blatantly spoken about the Eva's as though it was suitable for everyday conversation.

"What about this party then...?"

Kensuke paused for a minute before looking over at Asuka. Determining that she wouldn't be able to hear him talking, he said, "She'll deny it, but the entire thing was her idea. I guess she heard that you would be released later today and forced Misato to drive her downtown to pick up a few things. Later she called me, Touji, and Hikari and told us that you would be arriving soon. So, we hurried over here..."

Kensuke left his sentence dangling as he went back for more punch with Touji following him, his thoughts wrapped around seconds.

Shinji stole another glance in Asuka and Hikari's direction, though this time his sights were solely set on Asuka. She seemed to catch him starring though, because she turned her head towards him before grimacing slightly. Throwing her hair behind her back, she turned around so Shinji would have to settle for a rear view. God she liked to tease him.

"Not a bad party," said someone suddenly to his left.

Turning towards the sound of the voice, Shinji saw a man with brown hair tied back in a pony tail and a few stubbles where a beard would have been. He was wearing a blue work shirt with matching blue jeans. Like Misato, he had a beer in his hand.

"Kaji," he said while holding out his hand to shake Shinji's.

Something seemed to dawn on Shinji as he grasped the man's hand and said, "Aren't you Misato's-"

"Not since our college days."

Understanding that the subject wasn't one he'd want to elaborate on, he asked instead, "Misato went to college?"

"Yeah. It was me, Misato, and Ritsuko. Course we all split up and worked on our own things. Though somehow we all ended up returning to Nerv."

"...You work at Nerv?"

"Yes...but what I do...I can't tell you. I've heard plenty about whats happened since I've been gone. How many angels? Four? I can't understand why they chose now of all times to attack. Though it seems like we don't have to worry with the children piloting the Eva's. We found you, the First Child, and then Asuka, the Second Child was brought here also."

Something about the way he said Asuka's name seemed to strike a nerv in Shinji.

"Do you know Asuka?"

"Sorta...I was stationed at the German branch of Nerv for a while and got to know her. I was like a guardian of some kind to her."

Shinji felt a twang of jealousy hit his nerves, but passed it off. Really, thinking about them in any sort of relationship was just being paranoid.

Draining the last of his beer, he clapped Shinji on the shoulders and said, "Well, keep up the good work. Everyones depending on you and the other two to defeat the angels."

As Shinji watched Kaji's retreating back, he was reminded again of why he had chosen to fight. He still couldn't answer that question. He knew that only the generation born after Second Impact was able to control the Eva's. So the adults who helped initiated Second Impact now relied on the younger generation to protect them when retribution came. How foolhardy could they be? Everyone was depending on him, Asuka, and Rei? What if they started rejecting Nerv's orders? Would they be replaced? This thought had never occurred to Shinji before and he wondered what made him suddenly think about this.

"Shinji!"

"What," he snapped back without thinking.

Asuka was looking at him with a frown on her face, but Shinji thought that he could detect hurt in her eyes and suddenly rebuked himself for snapping at her.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to snap at you. Just...thinking about some things."

Shrugging, Asuka said, "Forget it and come have some cake."

"...Huh?"

"Cake moron, Cake! We bought it at the store for you-"

Touji at this point stuck his head over Asuka's shoulders and said, "Liar. You made that cake yourself Asu-"

Asuka quickly silenced him by stabbing two of her fingers directly into Touji's eyes. Howling with pain, his eyes watering, Touji managed to shout back, "Damn it! What the hell was that for!"

"For being an annoying shit," yelled Asuka as she brought her fist down on top of Touji's head.

Shinji couldn't help it, he laughed at Touji's misfortune for upsetting the demon. Though if Touji was correct in what he had been saying...well. Shinji glanced at Asuka out of the corner of his eyes, only to see that her cheeks had turned a light shade of pink.

"Oh forget it," hissed Asuka as she hit Touji upside the head one more time for good measure. Turning towards Shinji, with her forehead slightly creased as though she wasn't sure what she was doing, she grabbed him by his wrist, and dragged him over to the chocolate cake that she had painstakingly made.

Grabbing a plate and jamming it into Shinji's hands, she mumbled, "Here," before spinning around, her hair whipping Shinji across the face, and walked back over to where Hikari was standing.

'She could have at least waited till I told her what I thought about it,' sighed Shinji as he scooped a piece of it into his mouth.

It was good. Far better than he had expected actually, which he thought seemed a little rude.

Finishing up his cake he looked around the kitchen, his eyes falling once again on the balloons and streamers. A smile spread across his face.

* * *

'Really,' he thought as he stepped out of the shower later that day. 'It wasn't so bad I guess...having everyone over.'

Everyone had left sometime ago and Shinji felt immensely better after stepping out of the shower. He felt like he had been contaminated in someway by staying at Nerv all of yesterday, and was just now getting the smell off his skin.

Looking at himself in the mirror, while he dried his hair, he once again found himself looking at the scars that painted his arms. Holding one arm up so that the light hit it better, he frowned at the difference between the pearly white skin, and the slightly tanned sections. He had wondered about it, but never had enough time to check.

Tracing a finger over one of the scars, he measured the length of the scar and then turned his arm over. Measuring the rudimentary line between two scars, each on other sides of his arm, he came to the conclusion that the two scars were from the same piece of glass. But then...how can that be?

The pilot and the Eva are connected through the power of synchronization. Thoughts, willpower...whatever. He knew this much. But if an Eva suffers a wound, and it is in turn transferred to the pilot, does the size of the wound get transferred to the pilot? He understood that his case was a rarity, but did that mean that his body could be dismembered, just because the Eva's was? It wasn't a happy thought, but it was one that held meaning nonetheless. He certainly didn't want to imagine himself in a scene where Unit 01 was decapitated, and suddenly his head just popped off like a dolls.

"You need to stop worrying yourself so much," he mumbled to the empty bathroom. "Nothing has changed that makes you any diff-"

His thought process froze.

He had been looking at himself in the mirror, when...no...trick of the lighting. Why would he think his eyes all the sudden flashed scar-

"Shinji! You done in there!"

Asuka's voice came loud through the bathroom door, and rather anxious at that.

Jumping at the sudden volume in her voice, he snapped his head around, but in his enthusiasm to reply, managed to slip on the wet floor, and went tumbling down on his back with a loud thud.

"Shinji? ...Oi Baka! What the hell just happened in there!"

As Shinji groaned at the pain of his back which had hit hard against the marmoleum floor, he heard a click of the doorknob being turned and realized that he hadn't locked the door.

"Shinji, what the hell-WHAAAH!"

Asuka took one, maybe two steps into the bathroom, before skidding on the wet floor, and falling backwards on her butt. Opening her eyes tentatively, and wincing slightly at the pain that had coursed through her as she hit the floor, she looked at Shinji who was just propping himself up on his elbows. If she had noticed earlier...well, things would have turned out differently, instead she grimly yelled, "You idiot! Why the hell did you flood the bathroom!"

Shinji stubbornly retorted back, "This always happens. That damn shower doesn't drain the water all the way so some of it comes out onto the floor."

"I never have any problems with it!"

"Which amazes me because you spend almost an hour in there everyday. Its probably clogged from your hair anyway."

Asuka's anger overflowed here. Standing up briskly, she stood over a naked Shinji who had nothing but a towel covering his privates, bent down, and glared at him before saying, "...It was Misato's hair..."

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, silence passing between them. Shinji had thought that she was going to step on his unprotected privates, and was still now, unsure of how he should react. Instead, Asuka took the lead.

Standing up straight, she sighed at him and said, "Whatever, just get the mop and fix this m-m-me-me-WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

Realization had struck Asuka none to gently, as Shinji made to stand up, and only then noticing that the towel was no longer fastened around his waist. Glancing up quickly, he saw a bright red Asuka, who seemed to be frozen in place, with her eyes nothing but sunken sockets. Had it really been that traumatizing?

"Asuka-"

His voice seemed to send her out of her own world, as her face turned a darker shade of red. Breathing heavily, her entire face flushed, she started mumbling uncontrollably under her breath.

"...Asuka?"

"...Oh God I think I'm gonna puke..." was all she managed to say before she ran out of the bathroom. Shinji could hear retching sounds coming from the kitchen and knew he'd be the one to clean it up later. Wrapping the towel around his waist more securely, he had to admit that he had gotten away with nothing more than a brief outburst.

Asuka meanwhile was hovering over the sink making fake retching noises. She did not want Shinji to see her in such a state, even if it killed her. She _had_ actually been pretty close to puking when she had seen...no...don't think about it. Nothing! Nothing at all. She found it easier to fain ignorance, and just act on emotions. And there were a lot of emotions running through her.

Looking up as she heard the bathroom door close, she stole a glance behind herself, in time to see Shinji walking down the hallway with a towel wrapped around his waist. She didn't know what she felt, but it was both disgusting and pleasant. Disgusting because it was new to her and because she felt weak because of it, but pleasant because it made her shiver, and not a bad shiver. It was like the kind that goes down your spine; that made you feel suddenly cold but inexplicably warm afterwards.

Turning off the fossett, she let out a weary sigh before slinking into the living room and sinking onto the soft couch.

'What is wrong with me?' Why does that idiot always resurface in my mind every time I push him away?'

Rolling over, she intended to flip on the T.V. and absorb herself in whatever was on, when she felt a soft flop somewhere over by her legs, and a shift in the couch cushions. Craning her neck upwards, she saw that Shinji had plopped himself directly in between her spread out legs, with a book in one hand, and his SDAT laying across his knee.

It was a mark of how used she was to his presence that Asuka didn't immediately chase him out of the room. She had even...what? Become so used to it that it was enjoyable to be with him? ...Where the hell did that idea come from?

As her eyes strayed over his body, they fell on the fact that his hair was still dripping wet, his clothing consisting of a pair of shorts and a loose tang top. And-

'Enough!' Asuka bellowed in her mind. 'Stop looking at him like that!'

Shinji seemed to notice the sudden changes in her facial features out of the corner of his eye. Plucking the earbuds out of his ears he asked, "Something wrong?"

"Not at all," she said testily as she turned her head back to the T.V.

Shinji frowned, hoping that her mind wasn't trapped in a time loop that consisted of those few seconds in the bathroom when she might have gotten a glimpse of his...well, best not to worry about that.

Sinking more comfortably into the couch cushions, Shinji brought his feet up and rested them on the edge of the couch cushion he was on. If only he could have seen Asuka's face as it turned several shades of pink before becoming a dark maroon. The ankles of Shinji's feet were making contact with one ofAsuka's ankles.

Asuka had surprising control over her body, (though a complete lack of control over her emotions) as she was able to prevent her body from twitching or becoming completely rigid. Though she felt like her head would soon explode if she didn't do something about his ankle touching her ankle. It felt to similar to footsie.

Trying as naturally as possible, she pulled herself up and into a sitting position on the couch, effectively moving her legs a good distance away from Shinji's. He didn't even spare her glance as she did this, his mind entirely focused on his book. Though something he had been meaning to tell her seemed to be nagging at the back of his mind. But he couldn't quite remember-

'Oh...right,' he thought suddenly.

Putting his book down and sliding the SDAT off his knees, he turned to Asuka and said, "I had forgotten about it until now, but I had ment to say thank you for the party earlier."

Asuka, who had tensed up slightly when she heard his voice, relax immensely and replied back, "Don't worry about it. Misato helped plenty so you should really be thanking her-"

"...But you're the one that planned everything and called Touji and the others."

"You make it sound like I did all the hard work. I did all the easy stuff and let Misato do the hard stu-"

"And the cake. That cake you made...it was really good, far better than any you could have found at the store."

Silence passed for a minute, during which Asuka struggled to get her face a normal shade of color. She was pleased, even grateful for the praise that he had for her. It had honestly been her first time making a cake and she found herself going over in her mind all the ingredients she had used, being sure that she had not forgotten a step.

Getting her emotions under control, she turned towards Shinji and said as cooly as she could muster, "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"...No...I just, thought I'd let you know. ...Thanks."

Abandoning her coolness, Asuka grinned back at him and said, "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're back."

"You're just glad that you didn't have to eat Misato's cooking."

"Well, there's that, and..." Shinji only caught the first part of this as Asuka trailed off at the end, leaving her sentence hanging.

Though something else was still bothering him. What was it? He knew it had something to do with Asuka...but what?

Germany! And then it clicked.

"Asuka...who was that guy at the party?"

"..."

"Asuka!"

"What!"

"Who was that guy I didn't know at the party?"

Asuka seemed as though she would like nothing better to whack Shinji in the head then for interrupting her program. Why was he asking something like that when she had seen them talking?

"You already know who he is. His name is Kaji, Kaji Ryoji. You talked to him so why are you asking that? Its irritating."

"...No...just that when I talked to him, he seemed to know you...because of Germany. So I just wondered..."

Asuka was able to abandon the T.V. completely this time and frowned back at Shinji. Was she understanding this correctly? Was Shinji acting jealous?

"What are you implying?" She said with her eyes narrowed. While she was somewhat pleased that he was acting jealous, he felt that it was directed at someone...who just the idea of being with made her want to puke. Kaji was attractive...you know, to people of Misato's age.

"...Nothing," said Shinji hurriedly. "I just wondered-"

"Then you can stop worrying about something nonexistent. He was someone like a father figure, nothing more. So stop being jealous."

"Jealous? I'm not jealous of him!"

"Well you sure do a great job of play acting then," grimaced Asuka. Now she was just irritated by his irrational thoughts. God he could be so infuriating sometimes.

"You know what, forget I said anything."

"I'll do just that," said Asuka without another thought on the matter; her previously emotions replaced by ones of annoyance.

Annoyed with Asuka's misunderstanding, Shinji stalked off into his own room.

'Jealous,' he thought somewhat savagely. 'No way in hell I'd be jealous because of that.'

'Ah, but you felt something while talking to Kaji,' a voice in his head whispered.

Ignoring the voice in his head, Shinji laid down in his bed, and turned towards the light of the open window.

"..."

At what point his thought became dreams, and sleep became a reality, he had no idea. He only knew that it felt as though minutes had past since him and Asuka had parted on a not so friendly note, when he felt himself being shaken awake by Misato.

"Shinji...Shinji...wake up."

Blinking in the dim light of his room he saw Misato leaning over him with a worried expression on her face. In the doorway of his room, he could see a fully dressed and anxious Asuka standing there.

"Whazthematter," he managed to mumble back in his dream like state.

Misato's words sent his eyes wide open.

"Angel attack. Its due to land in another-," glancing at her watch she said, "-hour. Hurry up. This was totally unexpected and I hate to admit it but caught us completely off guard."

Without any sign that he had two girls in his room, Shinji started flinging clothes in every direction as he hurried to get dressed.

"Where is it coming from?" Asked Shinji as he finished buttoning his shirt up.

"...We picked it up just outside the stratosphere."

"Space?"

"Thats what it seems like. Its body's diameter is about the size of Tokyo-3. We believe that it plans to fall on the city, destroying it instantly."

Shinji starred wide eyed back at her. It could crush it all in seconds unless they did something.

"What are we supposed to-"

"I'll explain on the way. Just get in the car already."

Without giving her another reason to badger him, Shinji hurriedly followed Asuka's retreating back out the door.

* * *

An angel attack at one in the morning? Shinji had never heard of anything stranger. He could imagine every citizen in Tokyo-3 being woken by the lady with the annoying voice to telling everybody to evacuated to the shelters. He could just picture Touji's face as he was told he had to go out into the freezing cold night. It made him smile...though it was only for a moment.

The fact was they had a crisis on there hands. The angel had caught them so off guard that they barely had time to prepare for anything. Then there was the fact that the commander, Shinji's father, was not there. He had left for Antarctica apparently to search for something. What it was, Shinji had no idea.

Something that worried Shinji the most though, was that this would be the first time that all three pilots would be working together. He didn't find this as a problem...but he certainly thought that Asuka did. She had been pissed when Misato had explained the plan, putting great emphasis on the fact that all three Eva's would have to work together in order to defeat it.

It seemed like suicide, but it was feasible. The angel was the size of Tokyo-3...and that proved a problem. Misato, however, had come up with a bold plan to combat the sheer size of the angel, dubbed Sahaquiel. The three Eva's would work together to produce one large AT-field to slow the angel down. Then the other two Eva's would project a strong enough AT-field, that would open a small hole that one of the Eva's would be able to tare through. The Eva (and here, Shinji felt that it would be his job ultimately) that was chosen for this last part, would produce a cone like AT-field to slash the angel in two, and destroy the core. At least, this was how it was supposed to work in theory.

Now, Shinji found himself in the entry plug of Unit 01, and had to force himself to pilot it, after he had been inside of it last time.

'Relax,' he told himself. 'Just picture this as another synchronization test.' Then he remembered what had happened with the last test, and quickly abandoned that thought.

Stepping onto the elevator that would take him to the surface, he glanced at Unit 00, and 02. All three of them were being sent up at different points. The exact spot that the angel would land was still being determined by Nerv computers. The idea was that, if they were sent up at all different points, either one of them would be able to reach the angel before it landed.

Misato's voice suddenly came over the intercom, "We have determined the strike point of the target. Distance is 20,000 meters...Asuka you will be the nearest to the crash site. Be the first one there."

"I'd naturally be the first one there even if I wasn't the closest to it."

Misato ignored her comment.

"Okay then...Unit 00 send up elevator shaft number one. Unit 01...elevator number five, and Unit 02...elevator shaft number three. Mission start!"

Feeling the familiar jerk behind his navel, Shinji rocket up several hundred feet before striking the surface. The umbilical cord immediately became detached and Shinji rocketed forward.

He had never moved this fast while in Eva, and admittedly he was the furthest from the strike point. The feet of Unit 01 dug up such large quantities of dirt and debris, that it seemed as though its feet was one large shovel.

Skidding to a sudden a halt, Unit 01 kicked off against the ground again, change it direction to the strike point. Soaring over power lines, shattering windows, sending cars flying. Shinji wondered how much they were really saving the city. Surely it costed millions if not billions of dollars to repair everything that they destroy during an angel attack.

As Shinji got closer to the strike point he looked up at the sky and finally saw the angel. It looked like a giant eye, but with wings...or feathers? Shinji wasn't really sure what was the better description. However his thoughts were suddenly shoved aside as he heard Misato's worried voice on the intercom.

"Targets position has been revised, change point to five kilometer east of its original position.

"Not good! I won't be able to make it in time!" Asuka yelled over the intercom.

"Shinji!"

"...I can make it. Give me the position, Misato."

With the coordinates relayed, Unit 01 took off at an amazing speed, creating a jet stream behind itself.

Shinji could now definitely see that the angel had changed its position, but was still worried that he might no be able to make it.

Putting on another burst of speed, Shinji ripped through the pavement of Tokyo-3, no longer carrying about the power lines. Wild life and even trees seemed to serve out of his way, as he crossed a mountain and entered the East side of Tokyo-3.

Skidding down the face of the mountain, he had Unit 01 dig its heels into the ground, slowing it down quickly. Now Shinji could almost see directly underneath the angel and knew that he was almost at the crash site.

Slamming to a sudden halt, he looked directly up into the eye of the angel and saw a brief flash of orange before the angel created an AT-field. Mimicking its movements he shouted, "AT-field. Full power!"

The ground beneath Unit 01 crumbled and flew into the air before being disintegrated by the clash of the two AT-fields. A large shockwave went flying in all directions, ripping apart the foundations of nearby buildings, and taring the roots of trees out of the ground.

Shinji could feel that he was being pushed to the ground though, and confirmed this thought as he felt one of Unit 01 legs collapse and go kneeling to the ground. Feeling a sudden pain shoot through his own legs, he hoped that he his bones didn't just snap in two also.

"Shinji!"

Asuka came flying into view from the West, before standing next to Shinji and projecting her own AT-field, effectively enabling him to stand up again.

"You idiot, don't go killing yourself before I get here."

"Forget it and just concentrate."

"Don't tell me what to-"

Her words were silenced as the angel gave a large jolt, and propelled itself closer to the ground. Both Eva's sank to there knees suddenly and Shinji felt pain in his legs again.

"Damn it!" Yelled Asuka. "Where is the pet!"

"Ikari-kun..."

Unit 01 with Rei came in from the North before standing on Shinji's left, projecting her own AT-field. The combination of the three sent the angel reeling backwards for a second, before rightening itself and continuing the assault

"So where all here...now what!"

"One of us has to destroy this thing while the other two give them a window to attack."

"Okay you two do that. I'm gonna destroy this thing."

"No, I'm doing it," Shinji yelled back at Asuka.

"Who the fuck decided on that!"

"Just hurry...already..."

Shinji thought he heard a strain in Rei's voice. He hadn't considered her thoughts.

"Asuka just let me do this!"

"Damn it! If you die I'll swear on your fucking grave that I said I'd do it."

'I'll remember that..."

Releasing the AT-field for no more than a few seconds, Shinji gave Asuka and Rei more than enough time to carrying out there own steps.

Separating the one AT-field into two different ones, Asuka and Rei slammed the two AT-fields into the angels, both focusing on a different part. The angel was forced to focus on separate points in the AT-field, moving the brunt of its power to the points that Asuka and Rei were working on, making the dead center weak.

Disengaging both their AT-fields simultaneously, Asuka and Rei created one large one, and wrenched open a hole in the dead center of the angels before it was able to react.

Shinji moved suddenly to that with a flash of scarlet in his eyes.

Meanwhile, in the command center, Ritsuko showed Misato something confusing just before Shinji started his attack.

"Misato...you might want to see this..."

"What?"

As Misato walked over to the computer she glanced at the monitor of the Eva's exactly thirty-seconds remained in the activation period. 'It should be enough time,' she thought.

As she reached the monitor Ritsuko was examining though, everything else left her mind, and she realized the danger in the numbers.

"This was the recorded plug depth during the last synchronization test of Unit 01, which was unusually high at the time."

The number read sixty.

"This is the current number...and its still climbing."

The number read eighty.

"...Shinji's entering the contamination zone...but why? Is he choosing to on his own?"

"Its the only reason that I can understand."

"But why? There's no reason for doing something like this. If he continues on he wont remain-"

"-human," asked Ritsuko with no expression on her face.

Misato frowned heavily at Ritsuko. Did she know something that she didn't know about Shinji?

Back at the battle, Shinji had just disengaged his attack as Asuka and Rei rushed in. If it had to be someone...it might as well be him.

'An angels AT-field is an extension of itself, and if my body is an extension of the Eva's...then does that mean that I have an AT-field? Do all humans have an AT-field that lets them distinguish themselves from other humans?' For some strange reason he thought he has had a similar discussion like this before.

His eyes flashed scarlet for a brief moment as he thought this and briefly sensed a changed in the LCL fluid in the entry plug. It became more dense, like it actually had a definable substance.

Looking up he quickly caught Unit 00 and 02 movements and reacted instinctively at that.

Shoving one arm of the Eva up to its elbow, into the small window that he Asuka and Rei managed to create, he projected a large cone that covered everything from the Eva's elbow and below to the tips of its fingers.

Forcing the AT-field open was only the first part. Next, Shinji put all of his thought into widening the cone like AT-field and separating the angel in half. He got about as far as that when a new AT-field of the angels suddenly slammed into the cone like one, shattering it instantly.

Unit 01 went stumbling backwards as Shinji screamed in pain as he felt the ends of the Eva's fingers snap.

Asuka and Rei rushed forward but were sent kneeling to the ground as the full might up the angels AT-field was sent crashing down on top of them.

As Shinji looked back at the angel, hopelessness started to settle in the bottom of his stomach. Could they even win against something this powerful? Would it even matter? Surely another stronger angel was sure to come after this one and they be facing the same problem.

"Shinji, what the fuck do you think you're doing!"

Asuka's mad voice seemed wake him up and he blinked his eyes open as he saw Unit 00 and 02 go crashing to their knees. He could see the veins around the Eva's arms and knew that the contamination had started.

But what was he supposed to-

"Shinji damn it! You said you could handle this, so back your fucking words up with your actions."

...She was right. What was he doing? He said he would handle it and now he was running away. Just like he had done with everything else in his life.

As Asuka and Rei were tossed aside, Shinji's eyes turned to the color of blood red.

The plug depth had just passed one hundred.

Rushing forward, Shinji slid underneath the angel and extended both the Eva's arms and projected a dome like AT-field over himself, the other two, and all within a two kilometer radius.

The angel stopped dead in its tracks and jolted backwards for a second. Following up on his initial attack, Shinji forcefully created another AT-field, separate from the first one, and opened up a small hole at the top of the dome like first AT-field. Just by thinking it, he was now able to achieve what he wanted.

Forming it into a small spherical shape, he sent it flying straight through the hole that he had made moments before, ripping apart the outer layer of flesh of the angel. A small trickle of blood started to flow out of the wound that the angel had suffered. But why should it worry about something so minuscule.

Next second a large chunk of the angels flesh was blown away, as the spherical AT-field erupted inside of it. Blood and organs slithered out of the open wound, painting the streets and buildings of Tokyo-3 scarlet. If the angel had a voice, Shinji was sure that it would be shrieking in agony.

Before it was able to regenerate, Shinji slammed Unit 01's hand into the bloody pocket of flesh and blood that he had created moments before. And created the cone like AT-field that he had original tried, except now it was as large as the angel.

Tendons, nerves, and tissue were able to be seen as the angel split in two separate part, before exploding in a large burst of blood and gore. Shinji felt the wave of gore engulf him, as it flew in all directions, turning Unit 01 into colors suitable for Unit 02.

Breathing heavily, he looked at the sea of gore splashed in all direction and finally knew that it was over. But what happened exactly?

His eyes were back to there usual brown color.

...Had he done this? If he had to describe it, it looked like something out of a very gory slasher film. He could remember watching it, but it felt like he had been seeing it all from a third perspective. What had he done? He remembered Asuka yelling at him...and then what? He had moved with such ease that it felt as though it were floating. He thought what he wanted, and it happened. But then...the two AT-fields. Had he created one of those himself? Was it because of being inside Unit 01 that he was able to? Maybe an Eva was able to generate two AT-fields...

"I don't...know..."

What the fuck was happening to him?

"...Shinji..."

"I don't know damn it. Leave me alone already..."

"Ikari-kun?"

"Don't talk to me! I don't want to talk to anyone! Just leave me alone!"

"Shinji, wake the fuck up!"

Shinji opened his eyes. He was crying.

"...You defeated it...its gone..."

Why was he crying?

"You can stop now!"

Why should he be crying over something so insignificant?

"Stop destroying what remains of it damn it!"

Why the fuck should he be crying over the remains of an angel!

Tears streaked down his face as he repeatedly pummeled and tore apart the bones and organs of what remained of the angel.

'Why am I crying?' He wondered. 'I should be glad that this is over, not sad. I could have died. Everyone could have died. Yet why the fuck am I crying over an angels corpse!'

"Shinji enough already," said Misato over the intercom.

"Cut all power and synchronization between Unit 01 and the pilot. If this continues on he may be permanently contaminated," said Ritsuko.

Shinji suddenly felt Unit 01 shudder violent, and everything went black.

* * *

Yet...everything was still black...

Wait, no, that wasn't quite right. A light was coming from behind him, and a very bright light at that.

The room slowly came into focus and Shinji started to become aware of his surroundings. He was laying down on the couch in Misato's apartment, and seemed to be tucked warmly under a blanket while a pillow was propped behind his head.

Sitting up slowly, he winced as pain shot through his fingers and knees, though it wasn't as bad as he might have expected.

Looking around the first things that he recognize was that: The T.V. was on and muted, second: Asuka was sitting in a chair that looked to be from the kitchen, and facing the T.V. Though she certainly didn't seem to be awake In fact, her head was drooping off to the side a little.

Even though the lighting was a bit weak, Shinji was still able to see Asuka's beautiful face as she slept with a smile on her face. He then noticed that no matter what her face looked like, it seemed that she had spent several anxious hours sitting on that chair. Her hair was a disheveled mess, while the baggy shirt she was wearing was hanging halfway down one of her shoulders, enabling Shinji to see the white bra strap underneath. He had a sudden strange urge to lean over and tuck a locket of her hair behind her ear.

'...Where the hell did that come from?' He wondered.

Sitting up more promptly he looked around the room a few more times, (his gaze resting on Asuka several times) before he looked down at his own hands. Why did he feel so...revolted? Was it because of his thoughts earlier, of how it might have been possible to _save _the angel. Had anybody ever thought that it was just one giant misunderstanding between the human race and the angel? Of course not, because it was, 'they exist and are evil. We exist and are righteous.' The thought made him sick.

Sinking back down into the couch cushions he turned his head towards Asuka, only to receive a shocking revelation that her eyes were open, and her forehead was pressed lightly against his. She didn't look to thrilled though to see him awake.

"...Ahh...hey Asu-"

"FUCKING MORON!"

Shinji received a hard jab to his ribcage and doubled over in pain. What the hell had he done to deserve this?

"Bastard! Ass-hole! You've been completely unconscious for over a day and you just sit up and say hey?"

"...Over a day?"

"Yes over a day you fucking idiot. I've left this chair for two reasons, one: to go to the bathroom, and two: to get food and bring it back here. My eyes are blood shot from watching T.V. and jerking around every time you mumbled in your sleep or changed your body positions. Do you have any idea how stressed out I am right now!

"No...but I think my ribs do."

"I swear to God, I am going to beat you within an inch of your life, spare you, and then repeat the same thing over the next day."

"I don't think my body will hold up even after one day."

"I've slept an entire two fucking hours since yesterday!"

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I did nothing but sleep for an entire day."

"I wouldn't call it sleeping so much as a coma. We weren't sure if you had been contaminated or not."

"Well I'm fine, so you don't have to get so anxious."

"Do you even care how I felt?"

"Course I do. But I'm fine so I don't see a need to overreact-"

"Overreact? This is normal! Anybody would have been worried about someone that-"

"-means a lot to you?"

Asuka paused for a minute, before taking in a deep breath and saying, "Yes...okay. You mean a lot to me, damn it."

"And you mean a lot to me too Asuka."

The sharp intake of breath was all Shinji need to know that Asuka had heard him correctly. But God was he feeling tired again.

"Hey Asuka..."

"What?"

"...Thanks."

"Whatever...at least I can sleep better tonight since I know you haven't turned into a corpse."

"Speaking of sleep, I feel tired again."

"What? You just slept for an entire day. How can you still be tired?"

"Well it is night so its natural that I'd sleep."

"I suppose. Well, I'm sleeping in my room tonight. That chair gives me back pains."

Asuka turned to get up, when Shinji grabbed ahold of her wrist."

"Wha-"

"Stay here for a while..."

Asuka's face flushed pink for a second before turning back to its usual color.

"Fine," she sighed. "But only for a little while. I want to sleep properly tonight."

"Hmm. Okay."

Shifting into a more comfortable position, Shinji looked at his hands once more before turning to Asuka and holding out the hand closest to the edge of the couch.

Raising an eyebrow, Asuka said, "What?"

"...Just hold my hand for a while."

"...You sound like a child...but all right, whatever."

Grabbing Shinji's hand none to gently she frowned down at it for a minute before deciding where to place it. Cupping his hand in both of hers, she gently rested them on her lap.

Neither of them moved from that spot that night, and yet, she was still able to get a good nights rest.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Hurtful Changes**

When Shinji woke up that morning, he had no idea that everything would from today onwards, would start to spiral out of control. If he had known the horror, traumatic event that he would eventually stop, things would have certainly changed. But most likely, in the end, his angels blood would have awoken anyway.

It was bright that morning, very bright. And yet, by the end of the day, the weather seemed to be foretelling a change in everything.


	12. Hurtful Changes

**Thanks for everyone patience while they waited for this. I woke up at 10 when my alarm hit...but ended up sleeping for another three hours. There was no possible way to get it out till now. Also this has not been proofread in anyway so don't be surprised if you see missing words. I'm gonna fix it tomorrow, but in a minute I'm going to sleep. (I think I actually caught a cold doing a double post and I got it done in four days)**

**So...this chapter is a very heavy M and I actually cut some stuff out because, quite frankly, I thought the possibility of it being too graphic would get it taken down. With that out of the way this chapter contains...well you can read and find out. At one point I will have a disclaimer though so people can skip that part if they want to. Just look for the bold letters at the beginning at end of the section. I'll give a very brief cap of what happened.**

* * *

When Shinji woke up that morning, he had no idea that everything would from today onwards, would start to spiral out of control. If he had known the horror, traumatic event that he would eventually stop, things would have certainly changed. But most likely, in the end, his angels blood would have awoken anyway.

It was bright that morning, very bright. And yet, by the end of the day, the weather seemed to be foretelling a change in everything.

Shinji woke early that morning, much earlier than he had nights before, and he could only attribute it to the coma like state that he had been in the past day. But he wasn't the only person up.

Turning towards the chair that Asuka had fallen asleep on last night, he immediately registered that she was not sitting in it as it was vacant. Then he recalled the nights events. His last clear memory had been when he saw Asuka clasping her hands together, hiding his own somewhere in that warmth grasp. Had they fallen asleep like that?

When Shinji entered the kitchen, the last thing he expected was to have breakfast waiting for him on the table. Of course, thats what happened...

Bacon, eggs, and two pieces of toast, ladled with butter and jam, was neatly set on the table waiting for him, with a napkin and fork and knife placed fittingly on either side of the plate.

As Shinji continued to stare at the plate of foot on the table, he heard the clearing of someones throat, and only then realize that he was not alone in the kitchen.

Asuka was standing in front of the stove with a spatula in one hand, and an oven cooling mitten in the other. Whats more, she had dawned the white apron again, and Shinji felt butterflies in his stomach as his eyes roved over the way the apron clung perfectly to her developing curves.

"Are you gonna stand there all day gawking, or are you actually going to sit down and eat?"

"...Did you make all this?" Asked Shinji amazed.

"No, it was Misato. Sorry if I just ruined your appetite," said Asuka sarcastically.

"No, I'm just surprised that you would go to such lengths-"

"You didn't eat anything last night idiot. You should be starving."

As if an answer to her words, Shinji's stomach gave a loud rumble. It sounded sorta like a dog barking at a fence.

His face flushed slightly from embarrassed, Shinji gave a word of thanks, before sitting down and digging into his breakfast. Predictably, it was good.

"So? What are we supposed to be doing today?" Said Shinji between mouthfuls.

Sitting down across from him, with a with a piece of toast in her hand, Asuka said, "_You_ aren't doing anything except staying here. I have to go to school in a minute, but you will be staying home, resting, and doing past homework."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to go to school instead of skipping another day?"

"You're staying here, no questions!"

"Okay, okay, fine. ...Where is Misato, anyway?"

"No clue. She was gone when I woke up. Probably at Nerv, as usual."

"...I suppose."

Tossing the last piece of toast in her mouth, Asuka said, "You do the dishes since I made breakfast."

"Hmm, deal."

Several minutes later, Asuka was fully dressed with a bento in her hand that Shinji had hurriedly made out of the remaining ingredients in the fridge. He was wearing the white apron that Asuka had on earlier and could still notice a faint trace of the flowery scent of her hair lingering on the fabric.

"I'm most likely stopping downtown after school for somethings."

"Do you want to meet somewhere after school gets out?"

"No, its fine. I can manage by myself."

As Asuka turned to leave, Shinji suddenly wanted to say something to her. Like...a reassurance of some kind, that everything was fine. Instead, he brought one arm around and rested it just below her neck line, brushing lightly against her breasts as he did so, while he wrapped his other arm just above her waist.

Asuka was silent as Shinji showed this strange array of affection. What was she feeling? Comfort? Longing? ...Love? Heaven forbid it couldn't be this last one.

"Shinji," she said somewhat weakly. Oh God why did her knees have to wobble now?

"Hmmm, Asuka?"

"Would you mind letting go of me?"

The tender moment which had started abruptly was shattered in the same way with Asuka's cold statement. It wasn't that she hated his silent gesture...she just...didn't know how she was supposed to react to something like that. She had never felt the warmth from another human being such as she felt from Shinji in these brief seconds when their bodies meshed together.

"Sorry...I should go..."

"Hmm. Cya later then."

"Yeah...bye Shinji."

It sounded as though they'd never see each other again.

* * *

With school out, Asuka found herself walking through some of the more expensive shops and malls of Tokyo-3. She had originally planed to pick up some groceries for Shinji to cook with tonight, but found herself getting side tracked every time she looked into a stores window.

Now though her thoughts wandered back to Misato's apartment, where Shinji currently was, and what had happened this morning

What would happen if she searched her heart throughly and honestly? What would she realize? And furthermore was it even reasonable to think about that?

She realized that she had been stationary in front of a shopping window for at least a minute, thinking about all these things. Love was...something that she had never considered giving even a brief thought to. Before, she had been happy enough piloting Eva and receiving praise for her high synchronization scores. But why did she pilot now? Why did she pilot in the first place? But...no, that was something that she refused to think about. Her logic at the time had seemed convincing enough, and the benefits certainly outweighed the dangers. But that was more than two years ago that she had decided to follow the path as an Eva pilot. Now what? Had anything changed? Yes, things had...many things. Shinji had entered her life.

Why did everything return to him? What would have happened if she had been transferred somewhere else? Would her life have changed at all? Well, maybe a little. But not to the point where she was having second thoughts now that she was so far down the road. Its not like she could turn back and choose a different route. She was smart, incredibly smart for that matter, and yet...so weak at heart. She was smart enough to see this problem within herself, though never acknowledging it until now. Was it his fault that she felt weak? Well, maybe it was, when her legs got weak when she saw him smiling at her, but certainly not for the reason she was thinking of.

Eva made her feel fearless, because nothing could get her while she was enclosed in the small suffocating space. Did she honestly enjoy it though? It took her a minute to think of this, but the answer was still a negative. How could anyone honestly enjoy piloting an Evangelion? She had done so because she didn't see another choice. To fill that weakness, she had thrown every other prospect that she had been offered during college, and for what?

She could feel the pieces falling apart even as she thought about them. Shinji had slowly chipped away at the concrete wall that she had formed in her heart. She felt that every time she even talked to him, another piece was chipped away. But it wasn't so bad...she had even made friends through him.

She had never had any friends when she was younger...her father had made sure of that. She knew that her personality was...difficult to get along with, but that was just who she was. If people didn't like who she was, then they should just get the fuck out of her way. Shinji had accepted that she could be overbearing and possibly a bitch at times, but he still accepted that part of her.

'How long have I been standing here?' She suddenly wondered, as it had been a very long time since she moved a muscle in either direction. She was still starring at the exact same glass pane.

'Did I even have a reason to look at this store?' She thought. 'I haven't even gotten any groceries and-,' she looked up at the sky, '-it looks like it might rain soon. Certainly don't want to be caught in a down poor with these clothes.'

Asuka refrained from using her school uniform whenever possible, and especially while out in public. She was wearing a tight, red, sleeveless shirt, and a low cut pair of blue jeans that came up to her knees. To top it all off she had brought a pair of red sunglasses that were now resting on her head. It seemed that they would serve no purpose.

"I should hurry," she mumbled into the crowd of people.

How long it had been since she mumbled that she should hurry? She had no idea. All she knew was that she had entered the grocery store while the rain had not started, and when she left, it was a full down pour

Standing just outside the grocery store where there was a plastic overhang, she had two large plastic bags of an assortment of things to cook with, and Asuka wondered if she shouldn't just get a cab.

Looking into her purse, she saw that she had a little over ten dollars.

'That should be enough,' she thought suddenly.

Walking calmly out into the down pore, she raised a hand in the air to wave for a taxi cab, when all the sudden, she felt a hand press roughly against her mouth, and another hand grab a hold of the back of her neck. Feeling strong fingers pressing directly against the back of her neck, she tried to force herself to scream, or making some sort of fit, but felt that her body was incapable of moving.

Blackness engulfed her as she struggled to stay conscious and the last visible object that she saw, was of a mother running from the rain with a baby cradled in her arms across the street.

'I have to scream,' she thought.

Just as she was able to force her mouth open, she heard the swish of something heavy falling and heard no more.

The entire thing happened without the knowledge of anybody. The only person that could have witnessed this was the mother with her child, but she was too focused on her feet, afraid that she might trip or slide.

People walking by, would glance at the forgotten groceries tossed to the side and think what a waste it was to leave perfectly good food in the rain. Eventually, a homeless person would come by later and claim both bags of food.

Asuka's existence had been erased.

* * *

Anxious? Nervous? That summed up what Shinji was feeling right now.

Okay so it was raining...of course she wouldn't want to get wet so she was probably waiting till it stopped. But it didn't look like there was an end in sight.

How many hours had it been? Only one? It sure seemed like more.

Asuka had gotten out of school around two forty-five, making the time three forty-five currently.

'Calm down,' Shinji told himself as he paced back and forth in the living room. 'Maybe she took a taxi home and the traffic is really bad. It is raining outside. But would she have enough money?' And the question that had been screaming in his face for the past few minutes reared its head. Why the fuck didn't he go with her!

He could understand the school, but why shouldn't they have met downtown. It made no sense. Maybe she wanted to get him a gift and surprise him with it. No, thats totally unlike her. But then, she has been steadily changing. She's become warmer towards him since they first met, and the name calling and abusing has steadily decreased.

Again, Shinji found himself wanting to rip open the door and charge into the pouring rain, but held himself back, saying that he was overreacting. Everything was fine, nothing had happened...

No, it did. It was unpleasant, but he knew that something had happened. What the fuck was it?

If he had been looking in a mirror or any piece of glass he would have seen his eyes flash scarlet for a moment at his sudden anger.

(A/N: **Okay...this next part contains, heavy graphic violence, heavy blood and gore, and attempted rape. If you don't want to read this part, skip to the next bold lettering)**

Pain suddenly seared through his temples and a rush of visions hit him. Asuka staring at a glass pane where a mannequin was standing behind the glass. Asuka paying for groceries at the counter and then picking up the plastic bags. Asuka standing on the sidewalk with rain droplets peppering her beautiful face as she waved for a taxi. The sudden fear in Asuka's eyes as she felt a man cover her mouth with a gloved hand. The sudden realization that her life was in danger. Shinji watched as Asuka opened her mouth weakly, before the stranger in black brought his hand down with a sickening chop into the back of Asuka's neck, making her entire body go limp.

Shinji screamed as another rush of visions hit him, these less distinct and foggy. Asuka telling the man to go fuck himself. The mans response as he slapped her and yelled something back. Her eyes as tears streamed down her face, her arms forcefully pinned against a wall and tied together with a thick cord. The man howling in agony as he looked at the large teeth marks that had been drilled into his forefinger.

Here the images became even more foggy and Shinji felt that someone had put a blindfold over his eyes. Asuka's soulless eyes as the man violated her body. The rapists hands as they slithered around Asuka's developing body, pausing here and there for further examination. A loud cry escaping her lips as a knife dug into the a spot just above her eyebrows. Shinji watched as blood trickled down and into her eyes, mixing with the tears. And then a voice, a horrible voice, the voice of the rapists came clear and into Shinji's head

"I'll fuck ya till ya bleedin from more den just one hole ya cunt!"

Everything vaporized and came back as clear as if he was standing right next to Asuka's corpse. A crowd of people stood around the body, and Shinji could see his fellow classmates mixed in with the adults. Her body had been dumped in a gutter, to rot with the weeds and sewage. Her shirt had been torn open with a viscous swipe of a switchblade, slicing into the soft tissue of her breasts. Her face was heavily bruised and it looked as though her jaw had been dislocated sometime during the rape. The large gash above her eyebrow was already starting to attract a healthy swarm of flies. But it was the mixture of semen and blood that drew Shinji's eyes. He had destroyed her, he had not just raped and killed her, he had destroyed her.

Reality returned and Shinji sake onto all fours, gasping for breath. Everything happened in an instant. Shinji couldn't handle it and vomited bile and blood up on the carpet in the living room.

Shivering uncontrollably his first thoughts were, 'Where are we?'

Before he gave his mind a chance to answer he rushed out the door. He would let himself think as he ran.

He had a general idea of where Asuka liked to shop and even thought he recognized the store that she had spent an eternity staring at. 'Where are we,' coursed through his mind followed by, 'how far have we gone?' He had learned, but it had taken sometime. His visions detected what happened, what might happen, and what could happen. The thing is...it isn't accurate. Every human is different; they react differently to different situations. Any one of those things could happen, or they could not. It all depended on reactions and counter reactions. Humans are able to create there own futures, that is what makes them such a unique race. Shinji can not predict over a billion common situations because it is simply beyond a humans grasp.

He still had a fucking good idea where he was headed though.

* * *

As Shinji bolted down streets in the pouring rain, Asuka opened her eyes in a dank, musky, boarded up shack roughly one kilometer from where she had been standing what felt like minutes before.

Looking around she didn't immediately see any signs of life until she heard a she heard a raspy chuckle from somewhere straight ahead of her. It was dark though that she had troubles distinguishing it.

"Awake are ya? Good...cuz I'ma throbbin like a mother fucker."

Letting out a high pitched laugh, Asuka saw the rapists face come into clearer view. He had light brown hair that was coated in grime and dirt, and when he smiled his teeth were as black as mold.

"Say somethin will ya. I like it when they get screamin, turns me on like a-"

Asuka spit a large clump of mucus and spittle onto the bridge of his noes.

"Fuck off why don't you!"

Grinning in a maniacal way he wiped the sludge of his noes and said, "No thank ya. My cock is sick of mister righty. It wants something to please it. An you look like ya could do that just fine."

Asuka spit at him again and said, "Try anything and I swear I'll cut your fucking cock off."

This statement seemed to enrage him greatly and he struck her hard across the face, bouncing her head off the wooden wall behind her. Asuka went down with a groan and thought she could feel blood trickling from where she had hit her head.

"Bitch! I'll give ya something to have fun with soon."

Grabbing Asuka by her strawberry hair, he drug her across the musty, dirt floor before throwing her into a corner. As Asuka tried to stand up she felt a claw like hand grasp her throat; he was constricting her wind pipe. His breath was loud and raspy and it smelled like booze. But Asuka had enough experience with drunks to know that this guy was not drunk and that he knew exactly what he was doing. 'Probably done this many times,' she thought savagely.

She may have been putting up a brave front, but she didn't know how long she'd be able to keep doing that. She was scared, more scared that she had ever been in her life. And that fear ate away at her.

"Listen slut," he said suddenly, grabbing a handful of Asuka's hair and jerking her head backwards. "I can kill you and then fuck you or we can have it be the other way around. The flesh is still warm so either way is fine by me."

'Is this really a human?' Wondered Asuka. 'This vile creature in front of me that doesn't care as long as he fulfills his desires is really a human?'

"So whats it gonna be cunt? We fuckin or stabbin?"

Asuka released her held breath as she heard a click and saw the blade of a switchblade go flying open.

Caressing it gently as though it was a child, the rapist replied, "I've gutted a few many whores with this. Took some prostitutes tities for a keep safe. Didn't want her pussy, that thing was sa-gg-y. How bout I shove this up those pants of your's and find out where it lands?"

Asuka held her breath, unable to make a sound. Had it really come to this, was she going to be desecrated. She had always thought she would die during an angel attack. Certainly that would have been a lot more dignifying then this.

"Well, since you don't have much opinion on this I think I'll just see what kind of tits you got. Gotta be doing pretty good with that bulge you got. Younger is always better...I sure hope to God you're a virgin."

With deadly accuracy, the rapist swiped the switchblade in a downward arc, ripping apart the tight fabric of Asuka's shirt and slicing the bra that she wore under it. Asuka shivered uncontrollably as she felt the cold metal brush against her breasts.

"Oh not bad...not to large, not to small, gonna be a good size when you get older of course. Then again I guess you have about five minutes left of your life so better start hoping for large tits. I might give you an extra five minutes if you can grow those."

Throwing his head backwards he laughed his high pitched laugh again. Acting on his momentary distraction, Asuka dove to her left, attempting to cover up her exposed breasts in the process. Reacting quicker than she thought he would, he saw the movement quickly and brought his knife downward, grazing her elbow as the blade passed.

"Bitch! Get the fuck back here!"

Swinging the blade wildly, Asuka managed to dodge most of the attacks but without looking where she was going ended up getting cornered against a wall.

Breathing heavily, the rapist said, "Good run cunt. Get ready to loose some blood though."

Striking Asuka hard, he split her lip open against one of her teeth, making a slow trickle of blood flow from her mouth.

"Looks better that way...maybe you'll learn to be more obedient."

Moving at a surprising speed, he slammed his arm into her throat, pressing his entire body weight against his throat as he started to contemplate his work.

"Where should I start? Or would you rather me just skip right to the main-"

Asuka bit down hard on the arm that her pinned against the wall. The rapist screamed in fury and pain as her teeth sank deep into his skin

"YOU BITCH! YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

Wrenching his arm free he looked at her work with shock on his face. Never before had he had so much trouble with a rape victim. He subdued them easily and then banged them without much protest and then dumped there bodies with the other sewage.

His arm was a large bloody mess as Asuka's teeth marks had torn through many layers of skin before the blood underneath

Glaring at Asuka with nothing but hate now, he had nothing else in his mind now except her death. He would gouge out her eyes balls and feed them to the alligators at the zoo. Burn the hair of her scalp and pull out her teeth. Nobody made a fool out of him.

"Thats it bitch! I'll fuck you till you're bleedin from more then just one hole you cunt!"

Swinging the switchblade in a large arc above his head, he brought it down with a sickening whoosh. Asuka felt like she was watching her death in slow motion. 'Ah...I never even got to tell Shinji what I-'

Asuka closed her eyes and waited for the odd feeling of her life leaving her body. Her organs and blood moving freely from her body. At least she wouldn't have to worry about being raped anymore if she was dead. She started crying silently...but more than tears had landed on her face. Tears were warm and had a certain distinct feel to them, this liquid was warm, but felt more dense. At first she thought that he had suddenly changed his mind and ejaculated on her. Instead she heard a high pitched wail combined with curse words

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY ARM? WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO?"

Against her minds protests she opened her eyes slowly.

The right arm of the rapist had been sliced clean, directly at the elbow. Asuka was able to see the joint of the elbow swing freely without any muscle to hold it in place. Yellow bone marrow coated the inside of the joint and a white puss like substance was leaking out of the stub of an arm.

The arm had meanwhile flown several feet away from where its original owner stood. The switchblade was still firmly grasped in the hand.

As Asuka realized what had just happened, she put a hand to her cheek and drew it back to revealing spotted patches of blood. She had been sprayed by the severing of the arm.

But then...who just-

A large square had been sliced directly into the side of the building, revealing the grayness of the rain outside. Standing just outside that hole was Ikari Shinji. But he was different, his eyes...

Shinji stepped into the blown out piece of what was considered a house. He looked around calmly, his eyes first settling on Asuka, crouched in the corner with her breasts exposed for everybody to see., and then to the rapist who was curled on the floor, cradling his bloody stump of an arm.

Shinji grinned and thought. 'I want to rip his body in half, break his neck, and shred his internal organs.'

"YOU BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"...What did I do? What did you do?"

Screaming in a mad rage, the rapist charged forward, only to be repelled backwards by an invisible wall.

"WHAT WAS-"

Shinji appeared in front of him with his fist cocked backwards. Orange light flashed momentarily as Shinji thrust his fist forward, except his fist never made contact with the flesh. A small spherical orb suddenly appeared in front of the rapists stomach, before shooting straight through it.

Blood spewed forth from his mouth and it looked like a fountain had just been erected where his stomach once was. A hole, about the size of a fifty cent piece was able to be seen on either of the body. Stomach bile leaked out and fell onto the dirt flooring, spraying it a sickly yellow color. Asuka thought she saw what remained of a half digested sandwich in the mess.

Gasping for breath, the rapist took two steps backwards before sinking to his feet, attempting to hold his internal organs inside of him with his other hand. 'What was happening here,' he wondered? Nothing like this had ever happened. He always got away with what he did, ever since he was young. But this person...no, this kid. He was a demon, a monster, and those blood red eyes; those sightless blood red eyes that seemed to be dissecting him as he looked into them. He had to get away. If he didn't he'd surely-

Blood spewed forth from his mouth again and dripped down the front of his shirt, making the surface turn shiny with blood. Looking up weakly, he started uttering some feeble words of mercy when Shinji struck again.

Shinji's fist cascaded directly into the side of his head with two times the force he had used against Asuka's father. The rapists jaw all but disintegrated. The left side of his bottom jaw completely snapped in two, stabbing the bone downward and slicing apart the soft tissue of his throat. A gurgling noise issued in his throat as blood started to seep into his lungs. The top jaw slammed down into his bottom lip, ripping apart every bit of flesh so that if he smiled you would be able to see the roots of his teeth. Blood poured forth from his nose as a large chunk of cartilage dislodged from his nose and wedged itself between his eyes.

The blow had completely knocked him backwards off his feet, and he had gone sailing into the wood wall behind, where he sunk slowly down to the floor, leaving a large smear of blood on the wooden surface. Years later, this shack would be painted a sickly red to cover up all the blood that was spilled today.

Shinji looked down at his fist after the swift punch. Several of his fingers were bent in odd direction, seemingly to be broken. His knuckles were a bloody mess, revealing the white of the bone underneath. Even so, he felt no pain. Only the pain that Asuka had felt.

Take several slow steps forward he was somewhat surprised to see that the rapist had somehow managed to regain his feet. 'There must be a large amount of adrenaline pumping through is body right now,' Shinji thought.

As the rapist took a slow step forward, Shinji made a quick movement with his right hand and the rapists fell flat on his face as his left foot was taken off directly below the ankle. He was in the middle of walking forward again when his foot had been sliced off. The two bones ground together with the sound of nails on a chalk board. His upper leg slid off to the side, leaving his foot upright where it had still been connected. Yellow marrow bubbled to the surface of the leg and started flowing onto the ground. It almost looked like he had pissed himself, in which Shinji reminded himself that he had, moments before.

With what remained of his face was planted firmly in the dirt his teeth were not only coated with grime but also dirt now. Shinji looked down at the bloody mess of what was once a human minutes ago. Smiling slightly, he knew he didn't have much time before he certainly die from blood loss.

Walking over to him, he was immensely glad that he was still conscious. Shinji wanted to see the fear in his eyes as he slowly crushed him to death.

In what was very well his last feeble attempt at retaliation, the rapist's other hand twitched slightly and Shinji all but glanced at it before the hand was taken off at the wrist. Bone stuck out of this new stub of an arm and Shinji grinned at his work. Oh this felt good!

Looking down at the rapist, no emotion was in his eyes. Nothing could save this human, and he could understand why the angels wished to destroy the earth. It was polluted by humans, and here was an example of such pollution.

Shinji stepped on the rapists chest and pressed down with such force that he heard several ribs snap. Very likely the splinters had been lodged in some major organ...if he was lucky.

As he continued applying more pressure he felt himself sinking further into the ground as the rapists body was slowly being ground into a bloody husk of flesh. It was time to finish it.

Shinji slammed an AT-field on top of the rapist covering every portion of his remaining body except for the head. From the shoulders down he was being covered by an AT-field, all that was free was the head. Breathing had become difficult as his lungs had almost been filled to the top with blood, but the air that he was able to receive and send to his brain was now being prevented by the AT-field. His neck was heavily being compressed and no amount of oxygen could pass through his Trachea.

His body was being forced into the hard ground, but his body was no longer sinking into the ground. Blood pressure started to build up as it all started to travel to the brain. His heart ceased to function properly. Blood poured from his ears and nostrils and his veins soon became backed up with blood.

With a popping sound like that of a toilet being unplugged, his right eye popped out of its socket and hung limply next to the broken nose, freed from the brain. Blood trickled forth from the bloody socket and dribbled down into his open mouth.

Bulges started to form in his neck as the blood pressure was building. It was like a champagne bottle. You shook it, and all the pressure from the carbonate sent the cork flying.

It happened in less than an instance.

Just like the champagne bottle, the blood pressure in the neck built up to a point where the veins could no longer contain it. It exploded.

Flesh was rendered, cerebral fluid was spewed across the floor, bits of bones and flesh were sent flying in all directions as the rapists head dislodged from the rest of his body. The remaining eye exploded, showering Shinji's face with clear liquid. Brain matter was clumped in a spot against the wall with bits of the spinal cord still attached. What remained of his jaw was sent skidding across the slick floor with pieces of teeth still attached.

(A/N: **So here is where it ends. Basically Shinji had a vision of the possibility that Asuka could get raped and reacted on that. The rapist was pretty much dismembered with Shinji using an AT-field.**

He was dead. What should never have happened was over.

Shinji looked down at the remains of something that should never have been born. More than blood had been built up and Shinji could see that his organs had been compressed significantly. Most likely he had died long before his head was actually dislodged from the rest of his body, but Shinji felt better thinking about it this way.

He suddenly felt tired and ached all over, especially his hand. It was hard to comprehend what he had just done, but he had been fully aware when he dismembered the man. He knew what he had wanted to do, and so he had done it. Even so though, why was he exhibiting angel powers, for he knew certainly that he had used an AT-field? But then, did that mean that his visions was also a unique trait of an angels?

However, those things would come later. First he should attend to

"Asuka..."

Hurrying over to her side he saw that her eyes were glazed over, as though she was not in tune with reality. Shinji couldn't blame her. She had been moments away from being raped and murder, only to then watch her roommate rip apart another human with angel powers. She must be going through something he could even grasp right now.

Slowly though, she seemed to come back to reality as the grayness in her eyes reverted to the normal blue. Slowly she looked up, looking over at the bloody mess in front of her, before turning to see Shinji kneeling next to her. His eyes had returned to their usual brown color.

"...shinji..."

"I'm here Asuka."

Brushing the tangled mess of hair out of her eyes, he felt stickiness in her hair. Moving his hand to the back of her head he felt moisture and realized that she had a head injury. Anger surged through him and he felt a sudden urge to grind what remained into the rapist into nothing but dust. No, he needs to control himself until he understands more about his power, because he understood now that his emotions are whats triggering his powers. Until he can control them at will he needs to be careful.

"...Shinji," Asuka whispered again.

Wordlessly Shinji reached over to the shoulder farthest from him and brought her to his chest. Enveloping her in a tight hug he didn't even given note to the fact that her bare breasts were pressed against the sweatshirt that he was wearing.

"I'm here Asuka," he said again.

All at once her pent up emotions exploded onto his chest. A waterfall of tears cascaded down onto Shinji's chest as Asuka cried out her worries.

Shinji was silent as Asuka cried on him. What could he honestly do? He couldn't take it away. It was something that would always be hovering over her. It is quite possibly the most psychological traumatizing thing that can happen to a woman. The only thing that he could be glad for was that he had prevented the rape from escalating. If he had been too late, like in the possible outcome of the vision, he probably would have committed mass homicide from frustration.

He held deep affection for Asuka. He would throw himself off a bridge if it enabled him to protect her. Where did this affection come from? He didn't know really. He had been around her so much that he had grown to just enjoy being near her. To be able to hear her voice as she spoke. The feel of her silky hair if it accidentally brushed against him. The way she walked...floated more like. The feel of her smooth skin if chance happened and he was able to be close enough to her.

Was it love?

Deeper.

Yes it was deeper. But what went deeper than love? Asuka was truly the first person that he was able to connect with, because they had both been hurt by people. They shared similarities certainly, but Shinji felt that Asuka was the only person that would never leave him. Correction: she wouldn't leave him because she would be hurt just as much as Shinji would be. Shinji filled the space in Asuka's heart that she had hallowed herself. She needed him, just as much as he needed her.

Burying his face in her hair, he ran his hands through the hair that flowed behind her back, trying to untangle it as much as possible. It didn't help much, but he felt that it soothed her nonetheless.

"Hey...Shinji," said Asuka with a muffled voice as she was still pressed against his chest.

"Hmm?"

"...You're suffocating me."

"...Huh?"

Drawing back, Shinji let go of Asuka and indeed saw that her face was slightly blue. He apparently needed to reevaluate his strength.

"Sorry."

"No...its okay," said Asuka as she leaned into his chest again, though this time Shinji let his arms stay by his side.

Silence passed between them, and the Asuka said something that Shinji had been fearing.

"What did you do to him?"

Shinji hesitated. He thought that Asuka might already know, but wanted to be sure. But was he ready to tell her that he might somehow be connected to the angels? He didn't think so. What if she became fearful of him. He could handle everybody else shunning him as long as Asuka stayed by his side. So instead he said-

"I'd rather not talk about it right now."

Asuka knew he was going to say this, but still tried anyway. When Shinji wanted to talk she would be there for him, as he had always been there for her. Instead she pulled to subject away from what he had done and instead said, "I wouldn't mind staying like this forever."

Understanding that she was shifting the conversation in respect for his wishes, Shinji said, "You know we can't do that."

"...No I suppose not," here she glanced over at the mauled corpse of the rapists and Shinji felt her shudder.

"I don't want to think about it," said Asuka as she turned back to Shinji's chest, gripping his sweatshirt.

"...Don't then. Don't ever think about it. Just remember that I'm here for you."

"Hmm. Okay."

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, just meshing with each other, letting the heat from each others bodies keep them warm while the storm raced outside. Asuka shivered though and the moment was broken

"You cold?" Asked Shinji.

"A little..."

Shinji first took notice that Asuka's shirt lay into two tattered rags and was split down the middle revealing her bare breasts. He tried not to notice that they were unusually perky. Glancing up quickly he saw that she had been watching him intently, as though waiting for a reaction.

"...Wear my sweatshirt then, if you're cold."

Asuka continued looking at him intently before saying, "...Thanks. But I'm fine like this."

Shinji blinked several times before uttering a confused, "Huh?"

Asuka clarified herself. "Whether its on me or not doesn't make that much of a difference. If you wear it then that means I'll just stick close to you. We can share the warmth."

"But...your...err."

"Yes."

Shinji mumbled something very quietly.

"What? Didn't catch that?"

"I said that your breasts are exposed," he managed to blurt out.

Asuka was silent for a moment and Shinji was sure that she would start hitting him for seeing her breasts, though instead she said, "So you saw them?"

"...I wasn't looking or anything...but yeah...I did."

Asuka sighed and said, "Forget it then and just give me your sweatshirt."

'Wouldn't it have been easier to just take it in the first place instead of teasing me,' thought Shinji.

Pulling the sweatshirt over his head he tossed it to a wordless Asuka, while keeping his eyes fix straight ahead.

"Thanks...but you're gonna be cold now."

"I'll be-"

"Didn't I say that it didn't matter who wore the sweatshirt, as long as they shared the warmth," said Asuka as she snuggled up next to Shinji.

"Well...yes, but-"

"Then there shouldn't be any complaints," replied Asuka as she tilted her head onto Shinji's shoulder.

"I suppose..."

"Then everything is fine," replied Asuka as she closed her eyes.

Shinji sighed and let himself submit to Asuka's will, and really, he enjoyed it.

"Hey Shinji?"

"...What?"

"I just realized I never said my thanks...I'm mean...for rescuing me..."

"...No, you don't have to, I already know that you appreciate...no, appreciate isn't a word to describe your gratitude."

"Even...so..."

'...What was this? Was this honestly happening?' Shinji's brain couldn't even contemplate something like this. What was this softness that was pressed against his cheek? Did Asuka seriously just kiss him on the cheek?

It happened in less than a second. It was like...Asuka blindly turned to Shinji and kissed him before turning away. But that instance still felt like a life time to Shinji. What was the significance in it though? Friendship? Love?

Glancing at Asuka with his mouth firmly closed, he saw that she was biting her blood stained lips and Shinji wondered if he didn't have a bloody kiss mark on his cheek.

"Asuka?"

"What?" She snapped while blushing furiously.

"...Err thanks..."

"...Whatever," said Asuka as she sank back onto Shinji's shoulders.

Shinji could help but feel a grin spread across his face. It was a start at least.

However...things were about to change

Was that a helicopter he heard? No...that was definitely a helicopter.

He could see the silhouette as it came in for a landing just outside of the square that he had opened up. He was amazed that a helicopter could even land in just a narrow space. But then, why was their a helicopter here in the first place?

As it landed, Shinji recognized two of the figures that jumped off the helicopter. Looking around at Asuka he saw that she was also watching as Misato and Ritsuko started running towards them.

"Get a containment team down here immediately and move that corpse while your at it," said Ritsuko. "I don't want anybody to know about this except for the people here.

It was something in her face which made Shinji skeptical, almost fearful. What was going on?

As Misato walked towards them, something went fleetingly through Shinji's mind. 'They know what I did and what I used. There gonna restrain me."

Standing up abruptly, Shinji was briefly able to see Misato hesitate before she continued walking forward. She was not smiling.

"Shinji...I'm sorry but we need you to come to Nerv."

"Why?"

"...I'd rather not have to answer that."

"But you know!"

"Yes I do...and I tried to stop it, but I have no control over the science department. I'm sorry but we'll have to take you in."

"And what! Run experiments on me!"

Misato's eyes shifted and Shinji could tell that he had hit the nail on the head.

At this point Asuka spoke up, "What are you talking about Misato! If Shinji hadn't...done what he did, I would be dead right now. Can you imagine what it was like for me! And now you're taking him away? Why damn it!"

"Asuka please, I don't want to argue right now..."

"I don't give a fuck what you want to do! Shinji saved me. Who cares what he _did _save me!"

"Asuka..."

"No I wont-"

Shinji stuck out his hand to stop her.

"It'll be fine..."

"Shin-"

He cut her off by fiercely hugging her, pulling her close to him.

"Its fine..."

"But-"

"It won't take long...I promise."

"You do?"

"Course I do. When have I been wrong?"

Asuka raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "Fine...do what you must."

Shinji nodded and released his hold on her. Gazing back into her eyes for a moment, he gently brushed the back of his hand against her cheek.

"Come visit me if you get the change."

"Yeah...I will."

Turning to Misato he said, "Okay, I'm ready."

Misato nodded and turned towards the helicopter with Shinji walking beside her. Shinji couldn't help but notice that she seemed to be putting an unusual amount of distance between herself and Shinji.

'So everyone is suddenly afraid of me are they?' Shinji thought. 'Well, they can't be as scared as I am to find out about myself.'

Shinji slowly walked towards the helicopter, wondering how long he'd be apart from Asuka.

* * *

At Nerv, Gendo Ikari sat at his desk with a document in front of him, detailing the plans of his version of Instrumentality. His fifteen year plan was suddenly coming to fruition.


	13. Tests

**Hey all, sorry that it took me so long to update this. Honestly speaking, I felt like taking a break after that double post on Halloween, those four days were hectic. Anyways I'm back and working again. Also, I'm gonna do a nice After Impact one shot of Shinji and Asuka (Christmas related of course) so look forward to that. I'm probably putting it out on Christmas Eve, and hopefully another chapter of this on the same day. **

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When was the last time that Shinji had had a dream such as this? For the longest time his dreams had been filled with nothing but bleak futures, bloodshed, and the end of the human race. This dream though, was certainly different. More different in fact then the reality that Shinji was currently living in, and would give almost anything to be living in the dream.

Everything was different. No angels, and most of all...no Evangelion. A world where his mother still existed and a father who cared about him. Was it still Tokyo-3? His dream didn't go to that level of precision. He imagined that it was, or at least he hoped that it could have been. He had some how become attached to the city and was rather reluctant to leave it, even in his dream.

There were other noticeable changes, and rather large at that. He was older, eighteen or nineteen from the look of things, and he had a hair on his face. A little minuscule, but still hard to miss. This was himself after all and he was supposed to know himself well. Though of course now, he wasn't so sure.

Everyone still existed. His friends were of course older, Misato didn't seem to drink at all, (which he thought was somehow inexplicably wrong) Rei was talkative to the point of being annoying, and Asuka...

While he was...embarrassed to admit it, the first thing he noticed was that she was fuller in the chest. He felt sort of disgusted that this was the first thing that he noticed about the aged version of her. Out of all the redeeming features about her, he had to notice that most.

Her hair was relatively the same, at least in color. Now though, it seemed to reach past her waist, and she had abandoned the hair clips that she always wore. Maybe since the Eva's didn't exist she saw no reason to use them. He had never really asked her why she insisted on keeping the receptors on her head, even when they weren't in combat.

Her facial features were much the same, a little older he supposed, and her cheekbones were possibly more pronounced then before. She seemed more happy though, less reluctant to smile than he had known, and he saw that she had a glimmering smile that made him feel like he was looking at the sun. It was quite painful.

He saw this all from a different perspective of course, as you normally would in a dream. His older self seemed to be on similar terms with Asuka as he knew that he himself was. Though with less berating and yelling involved from the look of things. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he would guess that they were leaning towards a less friendly relationship and a more romantic one. That was a thought that made him frown slightly. Not in disgust or anything, but just in bemusement. He could only imagine the reaction he'd get from the Asuka he knew if he asked her out on a date.

'_Like what you see_?' Said a voice to his left.

Shinji should have known that this was too good to be true, and sure enough the pseudo Asuka was leaning against a wall as she watched his reaction to...the future? A possible future? Or just an imaginative future which Shinji had created on a whim?

Sighing, resigning to the usual, Shinji said, 'I was wondering when you would show up.'

'_Oh? Grown accustomed to me have you_?'

'In an odd way...yeah, I have.'

'_I'll take that as a compliment. Anyway, like what you see_?'

'I'm not really sure what I'm seeing. This is a dream, correct?'

'_Either that or the people outside have some how entered your mind and have sent you into an imaginative world_.'

'By the people outside...what do you mean?'

Waving his question off, she replied, '_Never mind. Forget I said anything_.'

'...Fine, be all silent. But answer me this...is this at all possible.'

It took the pseudo Asuka a minute before she finally answered. _'Maybe...though unlikely. This is certainly a possible outcome of the future. But your decisions up till now have moved away from this possible outcome.'_

'...My decisions up till? Sorry! I wasn't aware that I had made wrong choices!'

'_Oh but you have. You've made wrong choices since day one. You had other options, but you just never gave thought to them. Now you have to deal with the future that is currently in store for you.'_

'And that is?'

Grinning slightly, she said, _'Bleak, and I'll leave it at that.'_

'Why is it always like that? Once, just once, I would have enjoyed a normal teenagers life.'

'_You can complain all you want, but you never had any choice in the matter really. Your existence is completely wrong as it is.' _As the pseudo Asuka said this her face hitched upward in an angry snarl for an instance before it went back to its normal impassive look. Shinji was totally dumbstruck, unable to guess what had triggered this sudden emotional outburst.

'What do you mean...my existence is wrong?'

'_Forget it. I've said to much as it is.'_

'Damn it! Why don't you ever answer my questions!'

'_First I'm not supposed to, when your usefulness runs out then maybe I'll tell you some things...only at the end of everything though. It will save you some grief at least, you wont have to dwell on it long, maybe half a second or so.'_

Shinji was not liking where the discussion was going. He felt like he was getting close to the end of a dark tunnel and that some fearful monster was at the end, one that he'd have to battle but didn't have the nerve quite yet.

So with an almighty pull in his mind, he managed to wrench himself back towards the present. What had started out wonderful had ended in torment. He supposed he wasn't that surprised it ended that way. Though the present wasn't something that he was looking forward to either as he opened his eyes.

The first thing he felt was a dull throb in his right hand. Next, he realized that he was laying on a hard, cool surface and seemed fastened to it somehow. Darting his eyes left and right he started taking in his surroundings.

He was in a room that was not unlike his normal white room, though there was a significant amount of equipment around him to blow the circuit breaker in an average house. Monitors of every kind were position around him with several tables next to him. Shinji craned his neck to try and see what was on the tables, but found that his neck didn't want to move. Squinting down at his neck, he saw that a metal ring had been fastened around it. He suspected that the other parts of his body had similar objects pinning him to the hard operating table, for thats what he suspected he was on now. What were the doing? Dissecting him?

Everything came back to him. The vision, the subsequent attempt of the rape and his fury and blood lust as he prevented it, the moment afterwards while he cradled Asuka in his arms. He remembered now why his right hand felt like he had smashed it repeatedly into a brick wall.

So he was at Nerv...right? Well, it made sense to think that. But how many days had gone by since then? For he couldn't remember waking up before now. Had they drugged him? If they thought he was going to be uncooperative then he figured they would.

Squinting around the room again he finally noticed that he was covered in wires. Metallic wires with white pads to hold them in place seemed to be position appropriately around his body. He felt two on his head, several on his arms and legs, and possibly three on his chest. Brain waves...heart beat...what else could they be looking at? His blood maybe? That last one made sense if they suspected he had been contaminated.

So he had exhibited angel powers huh? He wasn't sure who was more scared: himself, or everything person that knew what he had done, though with the exception of Asuka he supposed. He had remembered how Misato shunned away from him while they had walked towards the helicopter.

He heard a door slide open...

"No...no, I'll be fine. We've taken sufficient precautions so something like that won't happen. ...The commander specifically asked me to talk to him alone, so your presence here is unnecessary. Yes there are cameras in the room. If something should happen you may come in. ...Very well then."

Shinji, though still slightly disoriented was able to place the voice as Ritsuko's. What had she ment by questions?

As her face came into view, Shinji noticed that her voice seemed to be expressionless. If she had any fear for him, she was hiding it expertly.

"Shinji...can you hear me?"

Unwillingly he replied back with a low, "...Yeah."

"I'm sorry that all these," she hesitated, "precautions are necessary. But I'm sure you can understand how worried we all are about you."

'Worried about yourself more like,' thought Shinji bitterly.

"Anyway...since you're awake now I was hoping that we could talk for a while."

"About what? You know about myself then I do. What could you possibly learn from talking to me?"

Ritsuko completely disregarded his question and asked, "How do you feel?"

"Like concrete is encasing my entire body."

"So you can't move."

"Thats what I just said."

"Okay then...do you have anything you would like to know?"

"Plenty, though I'm sure you'd answer not even half of them, so I'll just ask instead what day it is."

"Its Wednesday, you have been out for nearly two days."

"Keeping me sedated?"

Ritsuko avoided eye contact with him; he got the picture.

"Now then...do you feel and different then you did two weeks ago."

Shinji frowned for a second but saw no reason why he shouldn't answer her question. "Not in the slightest."

"Physically and _mentally?"_

"Nope feels pretty much the same," replied Shinji with a sarcastic smirk. He was gonna make this as tough as possible for her.

"How did you learn about Asuka's...close encounter then?"

Her question took Shinji aback slightly, but at least he saw that she was disgusted at what could have happened.

"Premonition, I guess." He had chosen the wrong choice of words.

"And have you been having these premonitions frequently?"

Again her words caught him slightly by surprise. Hesitating for a second he said, "I call them more of dreams...but whatever"

"So then you dreamed about this happening?"

"I wasn't sleeping...but I suppose I could have passed out."

"What did you see?"

This question did not catch Shinji off guard, snarling back his answer he said, "You don't want to know."

Ritsuko winced for a second, whether it was his tone of voice or what he had said, he didn't know.

"No, I suppose we can leave that particular detail out. So? How did you find where she was?"

Shinji honestly had to think about that for a minute. He remembered recognizing the window that she had been standing in front of.

"...I don't remember that part very well...I mean," he swallowed. "I heard her...or not her, but what could have been her. Its hard to explain. I heard the her that could have been...what I had seen back in the apartment. Her voice just sorta...carried me onward I guess..."

"You act as though you were able to see the future."

"...Its not the future, just a possible outcome of the future. The future is changing almost every second based on the actions of humans."

"And so your actions canceled that possible outcome of her dying."

"Yes."

"Have you had anything similar to this before?"

Without hesitating, Shinji replied, "No...this is the first time that I've ever experience this, at least as far as the whole future thing goes."

"Let me ask you this...were you conscious of what you were doing to that man?"

Shinji had to hold back a snarl as he replied, "Man is a very loose way to describe that bastard, but yeah, I fully understood what I was doing when I killed him."

"Did you enjoy it?"

Shinji looked blankly back at her before he said, "I part of me did sure, I wanted to make it as painful for him as possible before he died. Would I do it again? Certainly!"

"So then you know that you used something similar to an AT-field."

"I don't know why you call it something _similar _to an AT-field. Thats what I used. Even I recognized that."

"...Fine then. How did you use it."

"Beats me. I just got really pissed, and felt like killing him. Suddenly his arm went flying. After that it felt like my body was on autopilot. All I really had to do was think about hurting him and my...whatever I have inside, would do the rest."

Ritsuko sat still for a few seconds before slouching in a nearby chair and pulling out a cigarette.

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with me," Shinji suddenly asked after a few moments of silence.

Ritsuko puffed away on her cigarette for a few moments before stabbing it into a nearby ashtray.

"No...we don't. And thats the worrisome part. Your brain shows no sign of mental contamination and we can't pick up a trace of pattern blue in your blood."

"So, what is your diagnose."

Shrugging Ritsuko said, "I don't have one currently. I have theory's, but thats all they are."

"I'd rather hear an explanation than none at all. I'm more worried about whats wrong with myself more than everyone else probably is."

"That may be true I suppose...okay then. First I theorize that this has something to do with Eva Unit 01. You must have realized yourself, that every time you step out of that thing, something changes in you. Something that you might not have thought before, or something that you would have reacted differently to if you had not been piloting it. Furthermore, you seem much more aggressive and produce subsequent mood swings that can be...rather harsh at times. I've also noticed that your brain waves have changed since your first synchronization test."

"...So what...?"

"Unit 01 is affecting you somehow. We can dispute that fact. Don't forget that the Eva had forced a direct synchronization with you several times by connecting directly with your nervous system. It is possibly that during those times, though few, you inadvertently took some of the Eva's blood. Don't forget that the Eva's are a byproduct of the first angel, Adam."

"I have angel blood in me then?"

"Its a possibly, and it may not be that specific way which I just listed. There are several other theory's but that is the most plausible at his moment."

"Does Misato know about this."

"Very vaguely. The commander gave me specific orders to act as though I was the only one to know about this...and some of the specifics."

"I'm some what glad..."

"You should be...she was worried."

"How did you guys even know where I was?"

"...We had...been keeping tabs on you since the last angel incident."

"You what!"

Shrugging Ritsuko said, "You have to look at it from our perspective. You had gotten out of control during that last battle and we still weren't one hundred percent sure you were contamination free. So we had Nerv person watching you twenty four-seven, even when Misato wasn't there."

Shinji clenched his teeth together. "So somebody had been following me that day."

"Yes, when he saw what you were going to do he decide to inform us. Actually, we had been ready to call you back to run some tests when the call came. Misato had actually been trying to dissuade us from that. She wasn't able to do much though when the order from the commander came down to detain you."

Shinji grimaced, "As usual my father is the root of all this."

Ritsuko was silent for minute as Shinji continued to glare angrily up at the ceiling. Finally breaking the silence he said, "So, am I going to be stuck on this table forever or are you going to throw me into solitary confinement. Can I at least get something to eat-"

"I'm not quite done with questions, I've got something to ask you...more personal."

Shinji sighed and said, "Whatever gets this over with faster."

"Firstly, and I'm sure you realized it yourself, your...powers, are strictly controlled by your emotions at this point. Before, when you were angry, you were able to do that. Its not likely that you will be able to control them at all in the first place."

"So I can never get angry again?"

"...Well for now we've managed to suppress it I think. We had developed some...chemicals to use in case we got the chance to examine an angels body. That chemical is currently flowing through your blood stream. It should be enough to suppress your powers for now."

"So I'm a human guinea pig, big deal."

"Secondly...I had something that I wanted to ask you...regarding Asuka."

Shinji's eyes...which had been rather glazed and unfocused as though he hadn't cared about the conversation up till this point, suddenly shot upwards and then narrowed into slits.

Trying to suppress a snarl, he said, "What about her..."

Ritsuko hesitated for a second. This was something that she hadn't wanted to ask, but knew that it was important nonetheless."

"Shinji...this is rather personal, so I'm just going to be blunt about it. We don't know if whatever you have is transferrable...if it is well, with regards to Asuka's well being-"

Shinji finally got what she aiming at and his entire body surged forward, straining at the steel rings that bound his body to the cold surface. Ritsuko had barely moved a muscle. She had been expecting this type of reaction.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ASKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"Shinji please calm down. It is a legitimate question and I need to know-"

"I DON'T CARE. GO BACK TO MY BASTARD OF A FATHER AND TELL HIM HE CAN SHOVE HIS QUESTION STRAIGHT UP HIS-"

"Would you prefer it if I asked Asuka myself-"

If the chemical that had been administered to Shinji's body, had failed, Ritsuko's head would be rolling around on the floor right now with a fountain of blood spewing out of it.

Shinji's body surged upward again and Ritsuko was surprised that the steel braces held. Even if Shinji wasn't able to use an AT-field she suspect that his hands would work just as well to break a persons neck. She doubted that the security she had left outside the door would be able to make it to her in time and would probably be wheeling her out on a stretcher.

Shinji meanwhile was in a total maniacal rage.

"IF YOU SO MUCH AS EVEN THINK OF BRINGING THAT UP WITH HER, I'LL TEAR YOUR-"

"Shinji calm down already, and just answer yes or no!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK WE'VE DONE THAT!"

"I have to have an answer. Think about it this way, if whatever changed with you was integrated into your DNA, then if you fathered a child you would have a chance of passing on that gene."

"Then why the hell do you automatically associated that with Asuka!"

"Because she is the closest human that you could love."

"Bull Shit!"

"Just answer the question..."

"...No! Is that good enough for you, or do you want to take a semen sample?"

Ritsuko face twisted upward into a grimace. "If you weren't going to cooperate than I had considered that option."

Shinji snorted while Ritsuko sighed.

"Are we done here?" Shinji asked abruptly.

"...For now yes...though I need you to cooperated with me on something."

"...What?"

"I have been asked to see what adverse effects, if any at all, Unit 01 has on you currently. I'm going to release the lock on the bracers so I want you to promise me that you wont run away, or try to injure any personal. There are armed guards outside that wont hesitate to pin you to the floor."

"Did my father ask you to do this also."

Ritsuko hesitated for a second but said, "Yes..."

"Why do you always act like his lapdog."

Ritsuko ignored his question.

"Okay...I'm releasing the locks...don't try anything."

"Like I could," mumbled Shinji as he felt the blood flowing more properly in his arms and legs. Sitting up properly he glanced around the room once before settling on Ritsuko's face. She was not smiling, rather, she seemed nervous now that Shinji had been released from his restraints. This made him feel slightly better, at least she feared him properly now.

Grinning slightly he said, "Lead the way, doctor Akagi."

* * *

There really wasn't much left of them so she settled on chewing her lips instead...though that was slowing starting to break down also. Asuka's nails, which she normally kept moderately long, were now little more than stubs; she had even made one of them bleed. She had lost track of time somehow, even though it had barely been two days since she had last seen Shinji.

She was constantly irritable to the point that Misato didn't want to spend longer than a few minutes in her company. Her classmates probably got it worst though, as they had to put up with her for eight hours. She had snapped earlier that day, throwing her notebook in the teachers face and kicking Touji's desk over...with him still in it of course. He was now in the hospital with a significant concussion. She had been lucky to not get suspended and wondered if Misato hadn't intervened. She hated that for some reason.

Currently, she was pacing back and forth in the living room, the T.V. blaring in the background. The thing that kept eating at her was the fact that she had been forbidden to see Shinji, even when she had promised him that she would. What didn't they want her to see? Was his condition so bad that he wasn't allowed to see anyone? Were they running tests on him like he had said back in the...

She tried her best to ignore that. It was bad enough that she woke up every night to that same nightmare drenched in a cold sweat. The last thing she needed was to think about it while she was awake. She was already in a terrible state.

She was still steadfast against her opinion that whatever...phase Shinji was going through, as she put it, had no harm in it whatsoever. She had been a little afraid when he had shown outright cruelty, but it was more the fact that she was worried that he would have changed, that he would have been different than the Shinji that she knew. Those few moments alone together had blown all those worries out of her mind. Though would he be the same after he returned from Nerv? They would certainly examine him and try to determine if he had been contaminated. What would they do if he was? Would they lock him up in some soft room and feed him through a small pocket in the door? He wasn't insane!

As Asuka's mind continued to sort through these questions, Misato got off the phone with Ritsuko and entered the living room.

"Asuka-"

"What?" She snapped back, not even looking at Misato's face.

"I just got off the phone with Ritsuko at Nerv..."

This briefly halted Asuka's pacing.

"So...what?"

"Shinji's awake..."

"By awake you mean that he hasn't been awake till now." She said all this very slowly.

"They had to sedate him," Misato explained patiently, "they had to run some tests on him...examine his brain waves and what not. They didn't think he'd like that."

"So they did it without his consent," snarled Asuka.

Misato hesitated, "I suppose you could look at it that way."

"So now what are they going to do with him," said Asuka trying to keep her voice at a normal volume.

"They want to run some tests with Unit 01 and him. They believe that his state might have been influenced somehow by Unit 01. Also they want me down there to witness it...and they wanted to know if you could be present."

"...So what...I'm going to see him through a gigantic piece of glass?"

"Isn't it better than nothing? You've been anxious ever since...he left, and now you have a chance to see him and your not going to take it?"

"Its not the same as standing in front of him."

"But he'd be glad that you were there. I'm sure he'd feel better if he knew you were watching."

Asuka eyed Misato, slightly unsure whether she should take the invitation or not. In truth, she wanted to, but she thought there were other implications behind her being there. If she was there Shinji might feel better, but then again, if she was there he might read it another way that she was something that they were able to control him with. She hated the idea that Shinji might be forced into something that he doesn't want to do because she was basically a hostage. Even so, her desire to see Shinji won over her fears.

"Fine, I'll go."

"I'm sure it will mean a lot to him," said Misato.

Asuka almost snorted. "It better, this is a favor for him and when he returns I'm going to be sure he pays me back."

Misato rolled her eyes knowingly as she turned to get ready.

* * *

It felt familiar...and what? Good? That was something he never expected to feel while sitting inside an entry plug. It was warm also...more warm than normal, like human blood he guessed, and something that he had smelled before in there but never really gave any thought to it. Why did he think it smelled like-

"Shinji you ready?" Came Ritsuko's voice over the intercom.

"...What? ...Right, sure whenever."

"We're gonna take this slow so just listen to what I tell you and we can get this over with. I'm just as anxious as you are."

Shinji rather doubted that but closed his eyes and started concentrating. He had been told that the purpose of this test was to first: see if he could still sync with Unit 01, and second: to see if any changes happened to him while he was inside the entry plug. This last thing worried him. By changes...well that left a lot open for discussion. They way he saw it, they could be mental or physical.

"Inserting entry plug into Unit 01...stabilizers in place...umbilical cord attached...pilot life signs normal, brain waves normal, heartbeat normal...no irregular patterns."

Ritsuko nodded once at the stream of information and said to Shinji, "Okay...just do what you normally do and try syncing with the Eva. We have a team on standby in case something happens so..."

Shinji heard a small quaver in her voice as she trailed off and for a minute felt that he had heard a small amount of compassion in her voice. He had long resigned to the fact that she only cared about scientific aspects and disregarded human life for those ideals. Now he thought his father was the one who was forcing her to do these things.

Concentrating had become second nature to him. In truth, he felt no different while trying to sync with Unit 01 then he would while lounging on the couch, or reading a book. The same concept still applied. Or maybe he was so engrossed in what he was doing he didn't recognize his surroundings. Course, his surroundings weren't overly exciting.

Pushing his mind further into the depths of his subconscious he brought up several memories of his childhood, none of them very happy. He had always been somewhat of a loner. Instead he conjured up a mental image of what Asuka would do when he was allowed to return. His mind tacked on the possible _if, _though he brushed it off. If he was lucky, and after avoiding the beating she'd be sure to unleash, maybe he'd be able to convince her to cook dinner for once. He had never asked that, afraid that she only ever wanted to make breakfast occasionally. Though he wasn't complaining, he enjoyed the breaks that she gave him and even suspected she liked cooking sometimes, if only to keep up her skills.

He felt his mind slip suddenly and knew that he was going off track with his imagination. He had momentarily forgoten where he was.

'_You're a real airhead sometimes. Can you keep your thoughts to yourself. I don't enjoy having to listen to a humans sniveling love story.'_

Shinji's brain waves didn't even change at the sudden intrusion of the '_voice_,' as he had come to know it.

'What are you doing here,' he thought?

'_Your mind was irritating me, so I told you to shut up. But what is this...another synchronization test?'_

'Something like that. I don't even know for sure myself...'

The voice was silent for a minute before Shinji heard a low murmur and then a mumble of, '_Ah...so thats what happened.'_

'What are you talking about?'

'_You. Finally awoke and all that. Couldn't keep your emotions in check I see. Well, I can see why they are curious about you, you are unique after all. A human with an angels powers, well, if they can harness that power...'_

'They want to harness my powers...why?'

'_Even you should be able to see that. A human that is able to project a corporeal-'_

'Cor...what?'

'_It means that your AT-field has distinct form and shape, not the like the AT-field that all humans carry. Don't forget, if all humans were to lose there AT-fields they would technically become one, because a humans AT-field makes them unique and distinguishes them from all other humans. If AT-fields no longer exist, than all humans would be considered the same. I believe that this what your father considers as his version of Instrumentality.'_

'My...father? Do you...know him? And what do you mean Instrumentality?'

'_I do not know your father the way you do...lets just say that I have a reliable source that knows him well. Instrumentality...or Human Instrumentality is a plan that Seele plans to implement, though what it is...I'm not sure. Maybe they plan on becoming the gods of this world. Your fathers version differs significantly though. He wants to be rejoined with his loved one.'_

'My mother?'

'_I did not say that...but yes. That is most likely correct.'_

'And somehow I'm involved in all this?'

'_You could say that you are the key to it all.'_

'Why am I a key-"

'_Because you are, simple as that. If you have to, curse the fact that you were brought into this world.'_

Something similar stirred in Shinji's mind, something that he had heard recently too.

"What do you-"

His entire mind surged forward and than backwards as though he had just suffered a mental whiplash. His head hurt like crazy. It felt like somebody had stabbed a white, hot poker on his skull, burning away the hair and flesh, leaving the brain scarred.

His eyes burst open suddenly and he immediately felt a stinging sensation on his right side. Looking down at his arm, he saw that from his finger tips to his elbow a bluish tinge had started to develop under his skin. Meanwhile, all around him the LCL fluid was boiling to the point that he felt he was being cooked in a pot roast. He heard frantic yelling over the intercom, but wasn't able to distinguish any of the voices. What he wouldn't give to just fade out of reality right now.

Maybe he had just gotten his wish.

His entire body was disappearing.

He gasped loudly as he watched the tips of his fingers slowly become transparent and then disappear all together. His entire body started to disintegrate into nothingness.

Meanwhile on the outside, Ritsuko was desperately trying to reverse the process, though with little luck. Unit 01 was not responding. Misato and Asuka were therefore forced to watch helplessly as Shinji slowly dissolved in front of there eyes.

For Shinji it didn't hurt, it just felt like he was, fading away with the wind. It didn't really seem so bad of an option really. He had sometimes wished he would just fade away with the wind, when he was particularly hurt by someone. Course he would be leaving behind his friends, but they could continue on without him. They would find somebody else to pilot Unit 01, or would he become one with Unit 01 and become another voice. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. At least he could bother the next pilot till his...spirit or whatever passed on.

Everything faded to white.

* * *

And so, he suspected his new life to start, though what he had expected was a lot different that what he was seeing. Where the hell was this anyway?

Everything was white. Left, right, up, down, no matter where he looked all he saw was white. Was this what the after life was supposed to be? A whitish place that went on forever with no end in sight. Or was this simply something that he was imagining.

"You're not imagining this," said a soft voice from behind him. "This is all very real...or as real as things in here can be."

Shinji turned slowly to the sound of the soft feminine voice.

At first he thought he was looking at Rei, the similarities where eerie. She had dark brown hair that barely touched her shoulders. Her eyes were a soft brown that seemed closer to chocolate than anything

'My eyes,' Shinji reminded himself.

For he was looking at a mother that had died many years before, his mother.

Very hesitantly, Shinji opened his mouth, blinked twice and said, "Mother?"

She smiled back at him and nodded once before opening her arms to greet him.

The next few moments were lost to Shinji as he dashed forward and was brought into a comforting hug that he had never experienced, even in Asuka's tenderest moments. The hug of a mother was like nothing else, and you couldn't really blame him. He had never known who his mother was, or what she really looked like. Now though he saw the similarities which he had missed the first time. The shape of their noses, how theirs lips both seemed to draw upwards in the same way when they smiled. Shinji even recognized the simplest curve of the ears.

"Is this real?" He suddenly said. If it wasn't, he never wanted this dream to end.

His mother, Yui chuckled softly and said, "I suppose it is. I never thought that this was possible."

"But what is this," said Shinji as he took a step back trying to tell if something had changed in his surroundings.

"Somewhere inside the Eva, I suppose."

"You know about the Eva?"

"Course, I helped design them."

"You did what?"

Yui smirked slightly before she said with a sigh, "Gendo didn't tell you much I suppose."

"He rarely tells me anything at all. He can be very stubborn," murmured Shinji.

"So I've known," she said with a slight frown. "Anyway I have no idea how long I'll be able to talk to but first I think I'll get some stuff out of the way. ...You must hate me Shinji..."

Shinji had to do double take at this. "What? How could I hate you?"

"...You mean...you don't?"

"Don't what?"

"Never mind...forget I said anything."

Shinji nodded and was silent for a minute. He had about a hundred questions to ask his mother, each he felt more time consuming than the last.

"How am I here? Last I remember I was inside the Eva...disappearing."

"I think your molecules were separated piece by piece. Most likely your entire genetic makeup is still floating in the sea of LCL fluid."

Shinji raised an eyebrow in confusion but said nothing. Even though he was the son of scientists, he was not good at science himself.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute. What were they really supposed to talk about after never really talking to each other. Shinji didn't know where to begin.

"How come you're here mom?" He suddenly blurted out.

"Ah...I suppose you could call me something like Eva Unit 01's spirit."

"...Huh?"

"You know that I died in an experiment, right."

"Yes..."

"The experiment was Unit 01's first activation. It went berserk and killed my human body, though I found that my spirit was able to reside in Unit 01. Since then I've stayed here. It's because I exist here that you are able to pilot it."

"Why is that?"

"The children after Second Impact are the only ones that are able to pilot the Eva's. But for them to be able to pilot them there has to be some spirit inhabiting them, someone that loves them. The same applies for the other Eva's, with the exception of Unit 00. Its nothing but an empty shell."

"What is resting in Unit 02?"

"I don't know. That experiment happened after I had already passed on. You'd have to ask the pilot of the 02."

Shinji could just imagine that conversation with Asuka.

"How are you doing though outside of piloting an Eva? School going okay? Grades fine? I hope you have plenty of friends."

Shinji sighed as her motherly instincts kicked in. "I'm fine, better than I've been in a while really. I've got a guardian who looks after me and several friends."

"School?"

"So-So," said Shinji holding back a smile.

"Well as long as you pass I suppose I'll be happy. Now you should probably return to your own place."

"No. I want to talk with you more."

Shaking her head, Yui said, "You don't belong here. As much as I want to continue talking to you, I know that this place isn't for you. You have people on the outside that are worried about you. One in particular seems to be infuriated by your absence.

Shinji could only guess who that was.

"I want to ask you something before I left."

"Better make it quick."

"Okay...do you know if another spirit is residing in here, because I here...voices sometimes when I'm piloting the Eva."

Yui's eyes narrowed. "I think I know what you mean. Sometimes my existence is pushed aside, it feels strange. That could be what you are talking about. But it never stays around for long, its always constantly moving. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I would be wary of it though. There is strong malice coming from what I've felt before."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you mom...for everything."

"I don't see why you should be thanking me. If anything...you should be...well, I suppose you should be on your way. Best not keep the others waiting too much longer. It looks as though they might forcefully try to get you out."

Shinji snorted. If it was Asuka decision she'd crack open the entry plug and search for him herself.

Smirking slightly, he noticed his body become transparent, and waved a finally farewell to his mother before he reappeared inside the entry plug.

* * *

Everything was a blur as he reappeared. He felt many arms grabbing and touching him as he was forcefully hauled out of the entry plug. Suddenly he felt a sharp metal object pierce his skin before he was fully conscious and saw the syringe release the chemical into his body. First thing out of the entry plug and they were already afraid of him. He thought this silently as he slowly passed out.

* * *

Wow his body was numb. Every nerve in his body felt split and frayed. All his senses were completely switched off. What in the world had happened?

He had apparently spoken this out loud, because he got a returning answer.

"A lot of stuff really, you're okay though...baka."

His hearing wasn't apparently completely gone as he could easily tell who this was by the tone of there voice.

"Hey, Asuka."

"Yeah, I'm here."

"To bad I can't see you."

"Which is a relief for me because I look terrible."

"I didn't think that was possible."

Asuka's breath hitched slightly but she said, "You really are an idiot."

"Maybe I am..."

Shinji suddenly felt something soft grasp his hand which was laying lifeless next to the bed.

"That you?"

"...No one else is in here."

"Sorry, I can't feel your hand very well is all."

"With good reason. Your arms look as though you're a heroin addict. I can't believe how many drugs they pumped into you. They only stopped after Misato yelled at them."

"Glad that she's on my side."

"Yeah, me too."

They were silent for a minute, just glad to be near each other once again. Though both knew that this was a very temporary thing. There time apart might be longer this time.

"Sorry that I took so long to get here," said Asuka suddenly.

"Don't blame yourself, I'm sure you tried your best. Not that it would have mattered much since I was out until today though."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"How long do you have to stay?"

"Not much longer...I was given a few minutes thanks to Misato."

"I'll have to thank her when I get the chance."

"Hmm," said Asuka nodding her consent.

Letting out a low sigh, Shinji turned towards the sound of Asuka's voice. He thought he even saw the outline of her face. But maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on itself.

"How you faring...by yourself I mean?"

Shrugging Asuka said, "Okay...nights or kinda rough. Hikari has been helping me a little. Even Kensuke and Touji have been kinder than usually."

"Good, or I'd have to get angry with them."

"Thats not a good idea."

Shinji laughed silently, "No, I suppose that wouldn't be."

"I'm just glad that you're still the same. I had worried that you might have...changed."

"Didn't I tell you I'd stay the same person that you knew?"

"Yes...but you can't blame me for being worried."

"No...I supposed I can't."

The door opened and Shinji heard Misato's voice.

"Asuka...time to go."

"...M'kay," she mumbled silently.

Shinji squeezed Asuka's hand briefly before letting it slide out of his grasp, waved in the direction that he thought the two of them were, and laid back down in his bed.

A short time later, Ritsuko returned with another sinister looking syringe, bringing Shinji into a dreamless sleep.


	14. Despair

**Okay so yeah this is a day late. Maybe its better if I do this on Christmas though...eh whatever. As I post this chapter it has literally been (counts off on fingers) twelve hours since I started working on this. As for my one shot...its done and all, but needs to be proofread. So that wont be out till sometime later today. And for ever body that wanted a lemon you got your wish. Anyway I'm gonna go to sleep now and wake up in the next four hours. **

* * *

Shinji wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping, but it didn't feel like a full day, in fact, it felt like only a few hours had gone by since his visit with Asuka. At least they had decided to let him sleep on a bed this time instead of an operating table.

He was in his usual white room, though it might not have been the usual, since he suspected that there was more then just one. Looking down at his arms, he didn't seen any cords or wires, just the scars from when he received the glass shards.

Swinging his leg over the side of his bed, he was determined to get out of this depressing room and find something to eat, when the door slid open and Ritsuko walked in.

"...Shinji?"

"I'm not doing anything wrong, so you don't have to act so defensive. I was just thinking of looking for some food."

"Oh..right. Well, before that, I was hoping you could accompany me on a tour of some sorts."

"I really don't care to see more of Nerv then I already have."

"I'm sure you will be interested in this particular thing."

Shinji stood, staring at Ritsuko before sighing in resignation, he said, "Lead the way."

* * *

Shinji had certainly never been this far down into Nerv headquarters, he thought as the elevator they were on continued to descend deep into Central Dogma.

After passing the thirty-third floor, Shinji was becoming suspicious.

"What exactly is down here?" He asked with a slight edge in his voice.

"...Something that I figured was worth while for you to see."

"Does my father know about this?"

Ritsuko hesitated for a second before she finally said, "No, the commander does not know that I am bringing you here, though he does know about this dark secret kept at Nerv."

"Who all knows about this besides yourself?"

"The commander and vice commander."

"Misato doesn't?"

"...She suspects, but her clearance isn't high enough to get her down here."

Shinji felt slightly fearful suddenly. What could be so bad that they had to keep it away from even Misato?

As the lift came to a sudden jolting halt, the rot-iron gates slowly opened, and Shinji stepped out into a wide opened room.

After taking several looks around, Shinji realized what he was looking and said, "This is-"

"The failed attempts at creating the first Evangelion."

Giant pits opened up in the Earth, in which the failed corpses of previous Evangelion lay there, slowly decomposing. Barely any flesh was left on the disfigured bones of the bodies and Shinji suddenly felt sick. Hardly anything was left except for the bones, which consisted largely of the skull and the backbone and several limbs which seemed to be some sort of strange mutation.

"This is awful," mumbled Shinji.

"This is the reality of what has transpired here. Some might consider what we conducted an atrocity, we consider it as a scientific breakthrough."

"But the Eva's are still organisms. They must have...some sort of feelings."

"Irrelevant. The Evangelions were derived from Adam, the first angel, they are nothing more then our tools."

"Then what about the souls of the people that reside in them?"

Ritsuko froze for a second, momentarily surprised that he knew about something so sensitive as that.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Doesn't matter...people's souls are inside of those things."

"Dead people's souls," Ritsuko reminded him.

"Are we just supposed to forget about them?"

"Some things are better left forgotten," said Ritsuko, ending the conversation and continuing forward.

Shinji grumbled silently as he trailed behind her, trying to ignore the corpses on either side of him.

Eventually the wide room filled with the corpses of past Eva's came to an end and they stopped outside a door. Swiping her key card through the slot, Ritsuko punched in several numbers, and the door swung open to admit her.

They were in a high ceilinged room now that seemed to stretch upward forever. As Shinji took a step forward he looked to his left and right, noticing the small island in the middle while a watery substance seemed to be surrounding it.

"What is this place?"

Taking several steps forward, Ritsuko said, "This is what is known as the Black Moon, the resting place of the second angel, Lilith."

As Shinji heard her words, what was nailed to a cross in the center of the island soon became apparent. It looked like a white, faceless, legless giant, with a mask over what looked like an upside down triangle, with seven opened eyes adorning it. Where a stomach should have been, the skin was disfigured, with large bulges popping out of the side. Shinji then realized that a fluid seemed to be leaking from this apparent wound.

"This is an angel?"

"Correct," Ritsuko replied.

"But what is it doing here?"

"Lilith was found buried underneath Japan. The Geofront was build upon it and Nerv created an entire city to hide its existence from the public. The fluid that you see leaking from its chest cavity, is in fact LCL fluid, the same that we use to supply the Evangelions."

"But why here?"

"Tokyo-3 is the safest and possibly dangerous place on Earth right now. The reason the angels appear here is because of Lilith, they are drawn to its presence, but we have three Evangelions here, which makes us more then prepared enough."

As Shinji continued to look up into the eerie face of Lilith he asked, "Why are you showing me this?"

Shrugging, Ritsuko said, "For my own purposes, and I believe you deserve to know after everything that you have been put through. I'm sorry about the whole confinement, but there really is nothing I can do."

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled.

They stood there for a while longer looking at the soulless face of Lilith.

"I have something else that I wanted to tell you while we're down here, which is probably the main reason why I brought you down here. Try not to get...agitated as I know you probably will be furious."

"...What is it?"

"After a failed experiment The United States of America has relinquished its grip on Eva Unit-03; they have decided to send it to us. Due to the writings of the Vatican Treaty each country is allowed to have a maximum number of three Evangelion at any given time, this limits the country in questions power. Because we will be gaining control of Unit-03, the commander has deemed it necessary to place Unit-01 in storage."

"Why is that?"

"...Honestly, we don't know how your powers will be affected during actual combat, and furthermore you may pose a threat to the other pilots."

"Why did you expect me to get angry? Its not like I care that much to begin with."

"I'm...not quite done. The original pilot for the synchronization was supposed to be you, but after that last test, the commander decided to have Asuka pilot it."

Shinji could feel the ringing settle in his ears almost immediately after she spoke.

"What was that?"

"Shinji...you promised you would't get angry."

"...How could I not be angry! Does my father want me to break his fucking neck?"

Ritsuko could feel the change in his aura and his anger boil over to the point where she felt something constricting her trachea.

"...Shinji!"

At her sudden scornful words, Shinji's shoulders relaxed slightly, passing a hand over his head, he wiped the sweat off his brow and glanced in the direction of Lilith. For some reason he felt a presence that felt oddly familiar.

Shaking off the feeling of deja vu, he looked over at Ritsuko and said, "Sorry...when is the test supposed to take place?"

"Tomorrow at noon."

"Am I allowed to be there?"

"...No. You weren't even supposed to know about this."

"Right," said Shinji moodily. Turning around he walked past Ritsuko, and towards the lift to take him back up to the surface.

* * *

Asuka got the news that she would be the test pilot for Unit 03 later that day, and she wasn't entirely thrilled. She was afraid that her synchronization rate would have dropped dramatically; she had been reliving the rape every night, except that Shinji didn't rescue her. Her eyes were bloodshot now and she had black bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep.

Resting her head on the couch, she buried her face in a pillow and thought about what she had been told by Misato.

She knew that Shinji had been the original test pilot for Unit 03, but something had changed and she had been chosen.

Rolling onto her back, she bit her lip in frustration at what she was supposed to do tomorrow. She was afraid that she would have a mental breakdown.

"Asuka?" Came a sudden voice from the doorway of the living room.

Asuka looked up to see Misato leaning against the door frame, with a frown creasing her brow.

"You okay with this," she asked.

Asuka simply nodded and said, "Yeah...its fine. Its better for Shinji this way."

"I could ask the commander to reevaluated his deci-"

"Its fine," she said in a much sterner voice.

"Asuka...if you need to talk to me about anything you know-"

"I'm perfectly fine," shouted Asuka. Throwing herself off the couch, she stormed passed Misato before slamming the door of her room, only to have it bounce back and rebound against the opposite wall.

Flattening herself against her futon, she crushed her face against the pillow as silent tears started streaming down her face.

When was this nightmare going to end?

* * *

Asuka woke early the next morning, and hurriedly dressed to prepare to leave for Nerv. Even if she didn't want to admit it, she was extremely nervous.

Going down the highway leading to the testing site, Asuka constantly bit her already chapped lips, and curled a loose strand of her hair around her index finger. She was constantly looking out the window, trying to judge if they were any closer.

Leaning against the window, with her chin resting in the palm of her hand she asked Misato, "Is Shinji going to be there?"

Misato glanced over at Asuka for a second before saying, "No...he wont be. He doesn't even know about today, or the fact that he was chosen as the original pilot. You can at least understand what he would do if he learned that you were taking his place."

"Yeah, he can be rather stubborn," mumbled Asuka.

Pulling up to the contained area where the tests were supposed to be conducted, they both handed their pass cards over to security, before being sent onward.

Stopping at a fork in the road, Misato waved Asuka onward while she entered a nearby tent where the monitoring equipment was being held.

As Misato opened the flap of the tent, Ritsuko was just about to leave it. Passing by each other for a brief instance, Ritsuko whispered a few hasty words to Misato. "I told him. He seemed to appreciate it."

Misato gave no sign that she had heard Ritsuko's words, but was glad that she had at least listened to her request. She didn't care how she had done it, as long as Shinji was aware of what was happening she felt less guilty for putting Asuka through this.

Asuka meanwhile had already changed into her plug suit and was climbing the ladder to the entry plug of Unit 03. It felt so much different, quite unlike the warmth that she was so used to while inside her own Eva. It was the first time that she felt that the Evangelion's were wrong, an abomination. She felt revolted that she was sitting inside of something that just felt so...evil."

"Asuka...can you here me?"

"Perfectly fine," replied Asuka to Misato's question.

"How do you feel?"

Asuka hoped that Misato didn't notice the waver in her voice as she said, "Fine..."

"Okay. We're going to start the first phase. Just perform as you usually do in your synchronization tests and everything will be fine."

"Right," said Asuka as she took a deep breath.

"LCL pressure at normal level, plug depth within acceptable parameters, pilot pulse and brain wave normal. Synchronization holding at seventy-four precent. No abnormalities detected."

"Good," said Ritsuko as she ducked into the tent, standing beside Misato. "Proceed to the second stage of the test."

Asuka nodded and closed her eyes.

She had done this over a thousand times, and in so many different scenarios, that she felt confident saying she could sync with an Eva while in a coma. Yet she had never found it so difficult as she did now. Maybe it was like she had thought before, the feel of the Eva was completely off. She didn't feel safe in here, she felt scared and afraid, and more then ever, she wanted Shinji to be with her, at possibly the most painful moments of her life.

They said some women never overcame the trauma that was inflicted on them by a rape, Asuka could very well be leaning towards that. She had lied to Shinji about receiving help from Hikari; she had lied about Touji and Kensuke being nicer to her, because when she wasn't crying her eyes out on her pillow, she was aimlessly wandering around Tokyo-3. This usually happened while she was supposed to be in school, and amazingly, it was even starting to affect her grades.

She tried to imagine herself inside her own Eva, curled up in a ball and floating in the sea of LCL fluid, but even this wasn't enough to make he feel safe and protected. It seemed only one thing could do that, and that one thing was gone.

...She heard a voice...softly beckoning to her. Eyes opening slowly, she felt a shift in the LCL fluid, and thought she heard a voice whispering softly into her ear. Turning her head both left and right she didn't see anything, but she kept on hearing a voice calling to her.

"_We can help you. You have nothing to fear with us here."_

She suddenly felt as though she was being propelled down a long tunnel, with no end in sight. The tunnel walls on either side of her were a dark red, and the blackness that started to squeeze all around her was almost to much to bear.

A hand suddenly reached out from the darkness and beckoned to her. Asuka who was at her wits end, grasped it without thinking, and felt herself pulled roughly through the far corners of her mind.

Deeper blackness engulfed her, such that it seemed as though the light of the universe had suddenly gone out. She groped around frantically in the dark, trying to find any substantial object that she could latch onto and claim as her own safe haven. Eventually she tripped over her feet, falling flat on her face. She wrapped her arms around her head and willed herself to wake up, Surely this was all just a terrible dream that she was having, right? She was sleeping and she was going to wake up any second and laugh it off, right?"

A white hand appeared out of the blackness, and grasped her hand pulled her towards its owner. Asuka went freely, as the light was better than anything the darkness could hold. Though as the owner of the hands face came into stronger perspective, Asuka's eyes widened as her mouth opened in a silent scream. A pure whitish face greeted her, with a lopsided red smile. The edges of its body were blurred and fuzzy, and it seemed to have a human shaped body.

Asuka's silent scream had resounded loud inside the entry plug of the Eva, as the plug depth suddenly shot above one hundred.

"What's going on, Asuka!" Shouted Misato into the intercom.

Asuka had been completely silent for ten seconds before she suddenly let out her high pitched screech.

"Plug Depth exceeding one hundred. The Pilot is in danger of mental contamination."

"Cut the synchronization between the pilot and the Eva!"

"The Eva is not registering the code."

"Pilots brain waves are going sporadic, heart rate is accelerating rapidly."

"Misato!"

Nodding at Ritsuko's quick question, Misato said, "Disengage test. Forcefully eject the entry plug out of the Eva, and remove the umbilical cord."

"...Eva is rejecting both of the signatures."

"What the hell is going on-"

"...Ma'am I have a confirmation of pattern blue."

"What?"

"Unit 03 is being contaminated by an angel."

"Try ejecting the plug again damn it."

"Unable to, a glue like substance has coated itself around the entry plug making it impossible to eject."

"Sudden heat source detected. Thermal energies rising. Unit 03 is breaking apart from the constraints."

"Damn it, send a call to central command!"

"...What should I-"

"Ask for support from Rei and...ask for the release of Unit 01 and its pilot Shinji Ikari."

* * *

Gendo Ikari stood in his office, having just gotten off the phone with an operative from the test site. The situation had changed, but not to the point where he was readily worried.

"Is that you Fuyutsuki?" Asked Gendo as he heard the door open.

"Yes."

"What is the overall status of the situation?"

"Unit 03 is on a rampages in the northern hills of Tokyo-3 and seems to be continuing south. An evacuation order has been issued."

"...What else?"

"The Eva seems to have been taken over by the angel Bardiel, while the life of the pilot is unknown."

"Reclassify Unit 03 as an angel and a threat to humanity. As for the life of the pilot," here he paused, turned around to face Fuyutsuki and said one word, "irrelevant."

"And what about the request put in by captain Katsuragi?"

Gendo took a long time to answer, thinking about the pros and cons of each action before he said, "Release Unit 01 from storage, though the pilot stays."

"...But then-"

"And tell the engineers to outfit it with the dummy plug. This should be an adequate test for it."

Fuyutsuki nodded his head once, before leaving the room. Gendo meanwhile sat back down at his desk before picking up his phone and saying into the receiver, "Get me doctor Akagi."

* * *

Shinji knew that the test had started half an hour ago, but he still couldn't help but look at the clock every few minutes, hoping that the hands would suddenly start spinning faster. Sitting around and doing nothing was far worse then he had expected, and he found that he had soon worn a hole in the floor with his pacing. What he wouldn't give to be out of this shitty room.

Maybe he would get his wish as he saw the door nob turn slightly, before being jerked forward, banging it off the opposite wall. Though it became clear that they weren't simply there to ask him questions.

Four soldiers, complete with automatic weapons, stormed into his room, guns all aimed at him. Shinji stood dumbstruck at the wall of destruction that was just waiting for him to make a move that they even though as suspicious. If they did, his body would be riddled with bullet holes.

Suddenly one of them motioned to the other, and what appeared to be the captain in charge, walked forward cautiously, keeping an eye on Shinji at all times.

"You're Ikari Shinji, correct?"

"...Yes," said Shinji curtly.

"You have been requested at Unit 03's testing grounds."

Shinji suddenly let out an angry snarl and yelled, "What happened to Asu-"

Cutting across him, the solider said, "Unit 03 is rampaging around the country side but is slowly making its way south, towards Tokyo-3. We have orders to escort or detain you as necessary as we bring you to Unit 01."

"I thought it was placed in storage?"

The soldier completely ignored his question and instead said, "We don't want you to try anything Mr. Ikari, so if you can just follow us we can get this over with."

Shinji snorted, "Yeah...because I'd never try anything with soldiers watching me. Just lead the way before I feeling like venting my frustration on one of you."

The soldiers must have taken his threat fairly seriously, because they all crouched on one knee, flipped the safety off, and put there index finger over the trigger.

Sighing, Shinji said, "I was kidding..."

Seeing that he was completely laid back, the soldiers hesitantly removed their index fingers from the triggers, though they did not flip the safety back on.

"Lets go," said Shinji as he followed the soldier out the door and up several flights of stairs. He didn't think they'd want to take the elevator as they would be enclosed in a small space where they wouldn't have much room to shoot.

* * *

It felt oddly good to be back in the entry plug of Unit 01 after such a long while, and he also knew that his mother was watching over him silently. The only thing that made this painful was that he was supposed to battle an angel that had taken possession of an Eva's body while Asuka was inside the entry plug.

Rocketing up elevator shaft number seven, he soared out through the end of it, landing cleanly on his feet. He was just inside the city limits of Tokyo-3 and the only thing that he could really see were a lot of trees and several power lines.

"Ikari-kun."

Rei in Unit-00 appeared next to him as she came up the same elevator shaft that he just did.

"Ayanami...Asuka..."

"...Its coming."

Sure enough, the two of them saw it at the same time as it came over the hump of the hill in the distance. Large pieces of the black armor had been coated with the white, glue like substance that coated the entry plug that Asuka was stuck inside.

Shinji swallowed hard as the enormity of what he was supposed to do hit him, "Ayanami...how exactly are we supposed to-"

Unit-03 suddenly rocketed down the hill, splitting the ground as it went and upending trees. Bracing himself, Shinji felt two large arms barrel themselves against Unit 01 arms, and felt pain constrict his arms.

"Asuka..."

Rei appeared out of nowhere and with her progressive knife in hand, drove it into the arm, through the armor and eventually down to the soft tissue underneath. Unit 03's mouth opened wide as it bellowed in anger and pain. Knocking Shinji out of the way, it pulled the knife out of its arm and flung it at Unit 00's direction.

Dodging it easily, Unit 00 ducked a series of vicious kicks and punches, until Unit 03 finally grabbed it by the throat with both hands and pinned it to the ground. Snarling in fury, Unit 03 continued strangling Unit 00 and Rei.

Shinji with Unit 01, swung its arm around Unit 03 neck, catching it by the throat and flung it backwards, and off of Rei."

"Thank you, Ikari-kun," gasped Rei.

"Ayanami...how are we supposed to fight this thing without hurting Asuka?"

"The commander gave us the order to defeat it in a fashion that suggested the pilot of 02's life as an afterthought."

It took Shinji a second for him to decipher the meaning in her words, but when he did, he felt boiling blood rattle his ears, as he realized what his father had said.

"Ayanami...did my father say that?"

"Yes, he did..."

Shinji's snarl was so loud that it rattled the eardrums of everybody in the commander center. Yelling at the top of his voice, he bellowed over the intercom, "WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BASTARD! DON'T YOU DARE FORFEIT ASUKA'S LIFE YOU DECEITFUL ASSHOLE!"

"Shinji think of it from a militaristic standpoint."

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MILITARY OR NERV! I WOULD RATHER DIE THEN TAKE ASUKA'S LIFE!"

"Ikari-kun!"

Shinji had just enough time to roll out of the way as Unit 03 charged at him on all fours, swiping at the armor of his Eva as it went. Skidding across the ground, Unit 03 poised on all fours again, before flinging itself through the air, and landing just where Unit 00 had been moments before.

"Ayanami!"

Running at break neck speed, Shinji flung himself in front of Unit 00 as Unit 03 bore down upon her. Grasping the side of Unit 01's head, Unit 03 smashed in through somebody's abandoned house, and drug it through the dirt, before jumping up in the air to pounce on it.

Rolling out of the way quickly, Shinji swung Unit 01's legs outward, catching Unit 03 on the way down, and knocking it off balance. As Unit 03 stumbled backwards, Shinji grabbed both of his shoulders and forcefully pinned it against the ground.

"Asuka, damn it answer me! You're the last person I know that would give up on this. Wake up!"

Unit 03 simply opened its mouth and roared. Forcefully ripping Unit 01's hands of its shoulders, it kicked Unit 01 in the chest, knocking the breath out of Shinji in the process, and sent him skidding across the earthen ground, kicking up great chunks of dirt.

Turning to Unit 00, it flew at Rei, tearing apart the ground as it ran, and grasped Unit 00 around the throat and started strangling it savagely. Even though Rei's synchronization wasn't nearly as strong as Shinji's she was still able to feel a fraction of the pain Unit 00 felt, and her trachea was soon being constricted.

As Shinji stood up, he had to fight the urge to vomit out of his system. Shaking himself of the dizziness, he saw Unit 03 bearing down over Unit 00 and crushing its wind pipe. Sudden anger shot through Shinji even with his best attempts to control it. Next second he was beside Unit 03, and slammed an AT-field directly into the side of his foe.

Unit 03 went flying backwards, kicking up dirt, toppling power lines, and making houses turn to powder.

"Ayanami...you okay?"

"Unit 00 has suffered some contamination, but I will be fine.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I will be fine..."

"...Okay."

Looking back over at Unit 03, Shinji had just enough time to see it getting up, before both its arms suddenly swung at them from four hundred yards away. Shinji managed to dodge out of the way, but Rei didn't react quickly enough and Unit 03 hands wrapped around Unit 00 head, and pummeled it against the ground.

"Ayanam-"

Unit 03 other arm swung outward, gripping Unit 01's wind wipe, constricting it, and almost instantly, Shinji felt as though he was going to pass out. Gripping both his hands around Unit 03's arm, he twisted it, forcing a break, and making Unit 03 rear backwards in anger and frustration.

Roaring angrily, the bulge in the side of its arm suddenly rightened itself with a loud snap, setting it back into place. Snarling angrily, the holsters for the progressive knifes in the shoulders suddenly exploded, showering the ground in flesh and bone, as two humanoid arms shot out of the wound.

Grasping Unit 01's arm, Unit 03 cleanly broke it, making Shinji howler as pain coursed through his right arm.

Moving over to Unit 00, Unit 03 grabbed the right arm and pulled with all its might, until the arm came clean off, spewing blood and gore around the ground and on its hands. Throwing the arm off to the side, it reared backwards and prepared to smash a fist into the head of Unit 00 when an AT-field flashed suddenly, severing one of its newborn hands.

Blood spewed out of what was once a shoulder and seemed to rain down upon its head, creating a fountain.

Shinji started to lose focus as Unit 03 slowly started walking towards him, regrowing its arm in the process.

"Shinji...what are you doing?"

Shinji froze as he heard his fathers voice over the intercom.

"Fa-fath-"

"The enemy is in front of you...destroy it."

"But Asuka's in there! I can't hurt her!"

"Doesn't matter. That is an angel, our enemy."

"I'd rather die then kill her."

"...If you are so set on dying then find death in your own way, but don't go throwing away Unit 01 which your mother put her life's work into."

"Fa-"

Shinji felt the density of the LCL fluid change abruptly, as everything went dark.

"Father...what are you..."

Shinji felt something moving behind his seat and next second a robotic figure was hovering over him, locking his hands against the controls of Unit 01 with several metallic clicks. It bent down to an inhuman level so that a monitor with the words DMYSYS displayed in front of him. Then his visual screen suddenly turned a blood red color as he felt the the Eva start moving again.

"FATHER YOU-"

Unit 01 charged forward towards its target, all sign of Shinji's childish emotions lost. As Unit 03 flung out its arms to attack, Unit 01 one grabbed both arms, and pulled Unit 03 towards itself, before kicking it squarely in the chest, sending it flying backwards at the speed of a jet plane.

Crashing into a nearby hillside, Unit 03 dodged out of the way just in time as Unit 01 followed up with swift punch to where its head had been moments before. Gouging out a great mound of dirt with his punch, Unit 01 jumped high in the air, before falling down directly in front of Unit 03.

Unit 03 swung outwards with its stretched arms, grabbing Unit 01 left arm and attempted to pull it off as it had done to Unit 00. Unit 01 reared its head, grasping at the outstretched arm of Unit 03 and ripped a large chunk of flesh off the bone. Tossing it aside, Unit 01 followed up with quick jab to the open wound, splitting the bone instantly.

Unit 03 let go in pain, and retreated backwards a few steps before Unit 01 roared in front of it with its fist cocked backwards. Punching with the full power of an Eva, the shockwave that followed stripped the bark off trees, and shattered the windows of houses within a thousand yard radius.

Staggering backwards, Unit 03 clutched at the large dent in its chest, just as Unit 01 palmed Unit 03's head in its hand. Smashing it into the ground repeatedly, Unit 01 proceeded to start the dismemberment.

Finally Unit 01's mouth opened, as it tore into the lower abdominal cavity of Unit 03. Organs were removed and slithered out onto the already blood soaked ground, while bone was smashed cleanly in half as though it had been cleaved by an axe.

Throughout the horror fest, Shinji constantly cursed back at his father. Didn't he understand that Asuka was the first person that he had connected with? Why didn't he understand that she was someone special, someone important to him?

As Unit 01 started ripping apart the flesh of Unit 03, Shinji almost gave up hope when he heard a familiar voice resounding in his head.

"_What the fuck is this shit? Son of a bitch trying to control me with this fucking copy."_

Shinji had never heard the 'voice' talk in such a scornful tone before.

"_Bastard's trying to control me, not like it will do any good without you here anyway. I'm going to connect directly with you again. If we achieve a high enough sync rate we should be able gain control again."_

Shinji nodded and prepared to feel the nerves pierce his skin and connect directly with his thoughts. Feeling a hot white poker hit his brain he knew that the connection had been made.

"_Haven't done this in a while..."_

"Why is that?"

"_Because you learned how to control the Eva by yourself. I was simply guiding you the other times. Now quiet and think about dismantling this pile of shit."_

"I have something else I wanted to-"

"_Not now, do you want to fix this or not."_

'Right,' thought Shinji.

Closing his eyes, he thought of Asuka and nobody else. If she wasn't one hundred percent perfectly fine, heads would roll, and not in a figurative sense.

He pictured them back in Misato's apartment. No school, no Nerv crap, just the two of them lazing around on the couch together. She'd be watching T.V. as usual, and he'd be listening to his SDAT. Eventually she'd yell at him to make dinner or go somewhere else because he was bothering her. He didn't care to have it anyway else.

Inside the Geofront, Gendo was presiding over the task of managing the dummy plug. Ritsuko, who may have been the lead designer of it, was still unknown at the time because of the activation test with Unit 03.

"Dummy plug is operating at full capacity with a minute and a half of remaining battery life"

"Hang on..."

Fuyutsuko who was standing beside Gendo asked, "What?"

"The plug depth is increasing rapidly...passing over the danger area...one hundred...one hundred and ten. Pilot seems to be willfully entering the containment zone."

"Cut the synchronization of the nerve receptors down to-"

"Hold on," said Gendo in his loud voice.

"But sir, any more of this and the pilot might never be human again."

"He can handle it. Continue as planned, release the limiters on the dummy plug."

Back inside Unit 01, Shinji felt the blood slowly flowing from the small piercings in his skin and dissolve into the LCL fluid.

"_Okay...I'm going to attempt to break the control over this thing. Get ready, that thing out there is able to regenerate faster then I expected. I don't want to gain control again, only to have us lose next second."_

"Ready whenever."

"_Disengaging...now..."_

Shinji immediately felt the difference in the LCL fluid. It became much lighter, and less hostile. The blood red glow around the screens slowly faded away, letting Shinji see the landscape once again.

"_Shit..."_

"What?"

"_That damn thing is trying to come back online."_

"Can't you do anything to stop it?"

"_Yes, but not for very long."_

"How long!"

"_A minute at most."_

"Do it. I've got to get Asuka out of that thing before it has a chance to regenerate."

Moving so that he was standing directly beside the broken Eva's head, he molded his thoughts to that of a shape that would perfectly fit around the entry plug Asuka was in. Now projecting it, he carefully concentrated on that single point and started crisscrossing other points until he had created something like a net. Filling in the small holes, he carefully carved away the white substance that was clinging to the entry plug, and gently lifted it out of the Eva.

"_You're getting pretty good at creating exactly what you want..."_

"Thanks," mumbled Shinji as he chose a place to set the entry plug down

"_Now hurry up and destroy the rest of it."_

Shinji nodded and drew back Unit 01's fist, and smashed against the Evangelions skull. Brain matter exploded and shattered the ground with bits of gray tissue.

"Its over," breathed Shinji.

* * *

The aftermath of the battle took a while to mull over. Misato and Ritsuko had been found with no bodily injury. Rei was fine though a little sore, and Unit 00 would need some replacement part.

Asuka though...Shinji still wasn't allowed to see her since her admittance to Nerv hospital.

He had been the first to see her, and it was something that would probably forever stick in his mind when he opened managed to get into the entry plug.

He had forcefully ejected himself for Unit 01, and slowly climbed his way down to the base of the foot. When he had arrived at the entry plug, he realized that the handle had the glue like substance caked over it. He tried several times to break through to the handle, but he found that it was just to strong. He eventually decided to try something.

He had become conscious of his own AT-field, it felt like his outer skin was coated in jello. Molding it to his thought, he carefully sliced a sizable hole in the metal of the entry plug. He had expected to step into waist deep LCL fluid, but was surprised when the liquid barely came up to his knees.

Crawling over to where Asuka was, he found her hand and squeezed it, expecting to feel her reassuring warmth that she was okay back. He did not expect to feel her hand, freezing cold, and coated in her own blood.

After the medics arrived he got a good look at he face and realized that her she was coated in her own blood, and yet, she didn't have a wound on herself. After that, Shinji had to be detained as he had caused a large fuss, and nearly broke several peoples necks trying to get to Asuka.

Right now he was back in his favorite room, that made him look like a mental patient.

Curling up in a ball on his unfavorable bed, he heard a brief knock on the door and Ritsuko poked her head in.

"I wasn't sure if you had been asleep..."

"Like I could sleep after today...I don't think that I'll ever get that image out of my head."

"You should be just happy she's alive, though not readily well."

"How is she, and can I see her?"

"She's fine in the sense that she's breathing and alive, and no you can't see her."

"Why is that," asked Shinji, slowly brimming with anger?

"You won't be able to handle it, and I don't want your reaction to send her into a coma. Thats the last thing we need right now."

"What is wrong with her? She seemed fine physically-"

"Thats what you were briefly able to see, and its lucky the medical team got there so fast, she was slipping."

"Are you going to-"

"She lost roughly half the blood in her body."

"What! How!"

"I only have a theory as to that, and its pretty farfetched."

"I don't care."

"Ok then...hows this. The angel that we encountered seemed to be able to contaminate other hosts. My question is, what was that limited to?"

"I'm not following you."

"During the activation test, Asuka wasn't completely there, and it was apparent. She hasn't been coping well since the-"

"Right," said Shinji, cutting her off."

"We shouldn't have used her. We should have used you like we originally thought of, or chosen somebody from your school."

"From my...what?"

"Each child in your class has the possibility of being an Eva pilot. Touji was a prime candidate before Asuka was chosen."

"Why wasn't he chosen?"

"Something about the belief that children that have siblings don't produce good sync ratios. Anyways, Asuka didn't want to do the test, but because she was filling in for you, she was okay with it enough to accept it. That led to her mentality being damaged during the test. My guess is that she had some encounter with the angel in her mind, and willfully let it take control of her."

"Then she was possessed by the angel? But then what about the Eva? Was it possessing both of them?"

"You know how you gain wounds and get hurt every time you enter Unit 01, because you have such a high sync rate with it."

"Yeah..."

"What if Asuka experienced that, only opposite."

"I don't understa-"

"Asuka took the wounds for Unit 03. The angel was possessing her, not the Eva."

"But how did all that blood?"

"High speed regeneration most likely. Asuka would take the brunt of the damage from the attack, and the angel would be fine. After the dummy plug was used though, the angel couldn't keep up with regenerating constantly."

"But why possess her? What was the point?"

"As to that...I have no idea."

Shinji paused for a second before he said, "You said something about a dummy plug. Was that the thing that took over for me during the battle?"

"Yes..."

Shinji sat there for a while on the edge of his bed, thinking about what he wanted to do. Of course he wanted to run to Asuka's side, but he had to agree with Ritsuko for once. Seeing her later would have to wait, and besides, he had somebody else he wanted to talk to.

Standing up abruptly, Shinji said, "I have something that I want to help me with."

Ritsuko hesitated, unsure whether she should agree, not knowing what it could be. Figuring that it couldn't be anything harming, she said, "If its something within my power...I shall try."

Taking a large gulp of air, he got the words out of his mouth that he had been thinking about for a while these past few weeks. Words that he had always been too afraid to ask because of the shear fear and intimidation that pushed at him when he thought of the man.

"Ritsuko...I want to talk to my father..."

* * *

**P.S. Merry Christmas!**


	15. Confusion

**Yawn...well, here is the new chapter. Wasn't sure how quickly I'd start working on this one, but I went to San Fran on a vacation and found myself working on it in my spare time, and I'd estimate this story has around ten more chapters till its finished, though thats still just an estimate. On another note, I got my mom to watch Episode 1 of Evangelion since I told her that if she wants to read my story, then she has to have some understanding of the terminology and how Shinji and Asuka's relationship develops. She seemed to like it also, which doesn't surprise me really since she enjoyed Elfen Lied, which is gory beyond all belief. Anyway enough jabbering out of me, I'm going to bed.**

* * *

Gendo Ikari sat at his desk, facing the window directly behind him that showed the entirety of the Geofront. Though he didn't want to admit it, the pilot of Eva 01 had affected his plans with this latest bout of courage. He had never imagined that he would have managed to override the dummy plug from inside the Eva. Though what might have amazed him more was that he had managed to destroy the angel while keeping Unit 02's pilot relatively alive.

He had seen the connection between the two long before even they had realized it themselves. And why not? They were both so similar that they were bound to connect in some way, for better or for worse. He had not expected things to turn out as they had, with there lives so entwined that they affected each other so greatly. Had he planned it? Maybe deep down in the recesses of his mind he had hoped for such a scenario, but things had escalated to a point that surpassed his wishes.

Admittedly, he had leaked information about the pilot of Unit 02 to her father, in which he took the assumed role of a revived father reuniting with a daughter. Things could not have gone better as the pilot of 01 consoled her and was a comforting item in which she could lean on. What did he care if a CEO in a large company was incapacitated because of his actions? Though he had not counted upon 01's pilots actions. He had gone beyond what could be considered as...normal, and with good reason, as he had angel blood flowing through his veins.

Seele would never guess. While they had fruitlessly searched for the remains of something long since lost, he had carefully molded the pilot of Unit 01 since day one, since Yui had died.

At the thought of her, a shadow passed over Gendo's face for no more than an instance. He had thought that he had gotten rid of such emotions, but humans were such weak creatures. They suffered from such diseases that would be deemed substandard to the average mammal. Everything would change though at the coming of Instrumentality, and he would spearhead it all. He held all the pieces after all. Unit 01, its pilot, the Spear of Longinus, and Lilith. What could possibly stop him?

...Shinji could...

"Yes...he could," Gendo muttered.

He had long since referred to him as nothing more than an object, and it hurt to acknowledge him as a human being. If he had been more like her...but what's done is done.

His growth was exceptional, more than that really, it was extraordinary. Even Ritsuko was surprised at how much he had changed, how much he had adapted to his abnormality. And yet, he had never been at such a point in his life where he feared a different outcome.

Shinji was strong, no getting by that, and he had begun to realize it, even take shape in his mind of what he was capable of. Gendo didn't like this freethinking. He was supposed to be the one in control, that was the whole point of assigning the pilot of 02 to 03 for the activation test.

He had to control Shinji, and what better way then holding the pilot of 02 over his head, for Gendo knew that Shinji could never refuse a demand if her life was in danger. But still...how had it happened?

Why had the dummy plug not registered properly when first inserted in Unit 01 during the first attempt at combating the angel? Did Yui reject him? It didn't seem possible, but there was still a probability of it happening.

So then he had had no choice but to have Shinji pilot the Eva while the dummy plug was still inserted. It seemed that the dummy plug was able to function properly as long as Shinji was inside the plug. Certainly it seemed that way. But during the fight against the angel, Shinji had arrested control away from him and forced the dummy plug to cease its function. How had he done it? It almost seemed impossible that he would have been able to accomplish it without some sort of help. Then did Yui...or something else.

Well, he supposed that the outcome was still within management. The pilot of 02 was supposed to loose her life during this battle, but she seemed to have pulled through, at least at the moment. Whether it was Shinji's timely arrival, or her own willpower which seemed to be extraordinary in its own right...well, she would be out of commission for a while, and as long as she still survived, she still held a purpose. He supposed he'd let it stay like that, for now.

Swiveling around to face his desk, he was about to examine the damages documented by Misato of the two Eva's when he heard a knock on the door and a voice which he loathed every time he heard it.

"Commander...I have the pilot of Unit 01 with me...he-"

"Doctor Akagi, I don't have time for such trivial things as baby sitting-"

"Shinji says he's ready to dismantle half the base...and take Unit 01 with him..."

Gendo sat silent for a few seconds. The very idea of a child taking control of Nerv like that was utterly ridiculous, though not improbable. An important person in his life was just hospitalized on the verge death with a possibility of lasting affects. His emotions would be running high and he would act without thought. Maybe it wouldn't hurt, he supposed. He could outline a few things while he was at it.

"Very well, let him in, and be sure that we are not disturbed during this time."

"Yes Commander."

Gendo watched as the brass handles on the double door in front of him swung forward, revealing a ashen faced Ritsuko, with Shinji, who looked like he had no problems with what he had threatened to do.

"Leave us Doctor Akagi."

Ritsuko simply nodded her head and turned and walked out of the room. It was apparent that she wished that she was anywhere else.

Shinji stood unmoving directly in front of the door. His face was impassive, but a small fire could be seen in his eyes.

"Father," Shinji managed to grumble out.

Gendo gave no recognition to Shinji's words. He simply gazed at him for a few seconds before he nodded towards a position directly in front of his desk.

Taking the hint, Shinji sneered slightly, before he walked forward, and stood in place where Gendo had nodded towards.

Gendo laid both his elbows on the edge of his desk, wrapped his hands together, and rested his chin on the back of his hands. His usual stance.

Shinji's eyes darted side to side, searching for any sign of movement that might indicate another presence, and though he didn't detect anybody, he was positive that security cameras were watching him.

Taking several small breaths, he looked at the man before him and said with as much control over his voice as he could muster, "Why did you do that?"

Gendo looked blankly back at Shinji for several seconds as though he didn't quite understand his question.

"Did you hear me! I sai-"

"For the betterment of human kind. It was necessary."

"You're telling me that it was necessary to put Asuka's life at risk!"

"Every pilot must shoulder the risk of danger. It is no different for you, or the pilot of Unit 02."

"Do you have any idea what kind of state she was in!" Said Shinji, his voice growing louder with each word.

"I do not care about such trivial matters. As long as the pilot is able to achieve a successful sync rating, then nothing else is necessary."

"She's a living person damn it! She was almost raped! How can you not feel sympathy for her! How can you not care!"

"Sympathy does humans no such good. It is simply another emotion that we shall do away with."

"But it is what makes us, us!"

"Irrelevant. I did not let you enter this office to listen to your complaints. If you continue this I shall have you lea-"

"I'm never piloting Eva again!"

Gendo seemed to do a double take at that, and his eyes finally settled on Shinji.

"What was that?"

"I said I'm not piloting Unit 01 anymore. I'm done. You disgust me."

"What will you do then? Forsake everything here? Start over? You are running away again."

"I don't care. It doesn't matter. I'm done."

"Not even for the pilot of Unit 02."

"...I didn't say that. I'm taking her with me."

"She is property of Nerv and the Japanese Self Defense Forc-"

"SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT! SHE IS A HUMAN BEING, SHE HAS EMOTIONS. HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!"

"She is the Second Child, Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02."

"SHE'S A PERSON!"

"A human, with the role to defend Earth against the invading angels. She has sworn her life to defeat them, or die at the hands of them."

"THEN HER ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS FOR NOT!"

"Is it really? Would she have been better of staying in Germany with her father?"

"No of course not-"

"Then what would you suggest."

"I don't know...but this is just...too cruel."

"Humans are cruel. Every day thousands die at the hands of others, and why? Its because fundamentality, humans can not understand each other."

"But I understand her!"

"That is simply two people. Try understanding ten billion people. Tell me that is possible."

"Every human isn't ment to meet each other. There just isn't enough time."

"But with Instrumentality it is possible. Every human can understand each other. No hateful emotions-"

"But nothing else either, hate differentiates us too."

"Which also leads to wars."

"But we learn from wars!"

"And then we repeat the same mistakes years later. We are flawed, and only through Instrumentality can we become perfect."

"You don't understand..."

"It is you who doesn't understand. You have secluded yourself your entire life, and suddenly you start explaining to me the workings of the human mind. I have studied us as a species for seventeen years, during which I learned that we were created flawed."

"Humans can't be perfect, it isn't in our nature."

"I will make it our nature..."

"I see there is no point in continuing this. I still stand firm though in my resignation."

"You will be required to submit your ID card to security, and pack your bags, you will not be allowed to enter within one hundred kilometers of Tokyo-3."

"I don't care, I stopped caring long ago."

"Then leave, this conversation is over."

Shinji ignored him and turned to leave, but suddenly stopped before his hand reached the door. Turning around he looked at Gendo and said, "I talked with mom."

Gendo who had been looking at the papers on his desk paused and looked up, "Is that so?"

"Yeah, she seemed to be doing fine."

What seemed to be a ghost of a smile passed across Gendo's lips, "I see."

Shinji waited to see if he would say anything else, before he turned the handle of the door, and stepped back into the light.

Gendo meanwhile leaned back in his chair, took off his glasses and thought, 'He still has a ways to go...'

* * *

Shinji slowly trudged along the hallways of Nerv. He had never felt so dejected in his life. He had intended to talk to his father as though they were equals, not as though there was a giant wall separating the two of them. His father had steered the question away from what Shinji wanted, that was his plan all along. Waste his time on pointless discussion while steering away from what Shinji really wanted. He hadn't had a change to talk about the dummy plugs, he briefly mentioned his mom in passing. But what he really wanted to talk about was himself, and that had never seemed more harder than what it had been in those few minutes in his office.

Who was Shinji really? A boy that had been forsaken by his father? A boy who had finally found something like a parent? A boy who had finally found a close friend, somebody important to him? A boy who had maybe found his place in the world?

...Bullshit.

He was abnormal, different, a freak, unnatural, a human guinea pig, a throw away object with no relevance. Or is that how he viewed himself? How did other people view him? Some of them might view him as those things, but others would certainly view him different. His real self, so to speak.

And so why did he exist? Was it simply to fight the angels? Is that why he had been brought into this world? That existence was just too depressing. Every human has a reason that they were brought into this world, he just had to find his.

And so why did he pilot Evangelion when he truly hated it. Was it praise from his father? To protect the people that were dear to him? A specific someone? How could he still not know after all this time? What had he been doing all this time? His life had never amounted to much so why did he do the things he did. For recognition like Asuka? Because he was told to like Rei? No! He wanted to, but he had no definable reason for it. Maybe it was everything, and maybe it was none of them? Maybe it had something to do with his parents, or his childhood? Maybe it was-

Something smashed into his shoulders and he was knocked sideways against a wall. Wincing at the pain that hit his shoulder he glanced up just in time to see a nurse with pure panic etched on the features of her face. It looked like she was about to have a heart attack, and Shinji could only guess he was the source.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry...I just..."

Shinji shook his head slowly and said, "Its fine...I wasn't looking where I was going anyway. ...Why are you in such a hurry though?"

"I got a call from Doctor Akagi. The patient in room 301 seems to have woken up and has exhibited violent behavior."

The room number rang violently in Shinji's ears until he could hear it echoing around is brain.

Grasping the nurses wrist none to gently he said, "Where is that room number?"

"I'm sorry I can't give out-"

Shinji applied more pressure to his grasp until he could feel the strain of her muscles.

Whimpering in pain, the nurse let out a small yelp that was concealed behind a cough. "I-I-I'll show you...just...let go."

Shinji immediately released his grasp on her wrist, and was unsurprised to see a large red mark where his hand had been moments before.

Nodding towards her, he said, "Get on with it..."

He didn't know when he'd have an opportunity like this again.

* * *

Those shrieks and yells were unmistakably Asuka's thought Shinji as he stood in front of the door. The nurse had gone in moments before during which Shinji was able to see a group of people dressed in white crowded around her table. Shinji had even caught a brief glimpse of her fiery red hair before the door closed in front of him. It was taking all his efforts to not just barge in there and tare everyones head off. Though he figured Asuka had at least bitten a few of them so he thought he should wait. They were only trying to help after all.

After what seemed like hours he was finally able to enter the room.

He had expected wires of all sorts connected to her body, and tubes that were for certain utilities, though it seemed that there was none of those, or very few at least.

Asuka was sitting up in her bed with a pillow propped behind her head. She seemed to be wide awake enough to recognize him, but he could see the droop in her eyes. He knew that sleep was sometimes difficult to get here, though she was certain to have some type of drug in her body. He knew that she had to receive blood transfusions every hour or so.

Walking towards the end of her bed, he sat down next to her feet and said, "How you doing?"

"How would you feel if you lost a fourth of the blood in your body? Well, at least there was no scaring."

'At least she was able to joke about something so serious,' thought Shinji.

"Terrible I'd imagined," mumbled Shinji.

"As if you needed to reply to that."

"What happened earlier? I saw that a bunch of doctors and nurses were crowded around your bed."

"I had a seizure," she replied in an offhanded sort of way.

"A...what!"

"I've been having them on and off, its really not that big of a deal."

"Yes it is!"

"Shinji, are you going to start freaking out, or am I going to have to call a nurse in to remove you? I don't want to deal with any stress right now."

"Can't you understand that I've been worried sick. You weren't conscious when I brought you out of that entry plug..."

Asuka's shoulders seemed to sink as she said, "I know...I heard about how you almost killed just to get to me."

"...I didn't know if you would live."

"I'm fine, so you can stop threatening people."

Shinji grinned sheepishly at her words, "You heard about that?"

"The doctors were fretting about what would happen to the hospital facilities if you suddenly went on a rampage. Can't say I'd be very impressed if you did that for my benefit. You'd do more damage then good anyway."

"Sorry it got spread around, it was more to try to scare my father."

"Huh?"

"...I talked to him, or, more of he tried to persuade me."

"About what?"

"Never mind...its not important."

"Hmmm," muttered Asuka.

They lapsed into silence for a while, during which Asuka grabbed a German magazine that she had been reading before Shinji had walked in. Shinji meanwhile was content with simply watching her. After several minutes of this though, Asuka threw her magazine to the side and said, "If you've got something to say, say it!"

Shinji hesitated for a second before saying, "What would you say if I told you I was quitting being an Eva pilot."

"I'd say you were an idiot and a moron but thats nothing new."

"I'm serious."

"Why?"

"Because I-"

Wait, why did he want to quit? Was it because of his fathers disregard of Asuka? Was it because of the usage of the dummy plug? Was he just tired of people relying on him? But then, wasn't he just running away again?

"I don't know."

"Well thats stupid."

"But what do you think?"

"Its your decesi-"

"What would you say if I wanted you to...quit with me?"

Asuka could have fallen out of her hospital bed if it had been a little smaller,

"Are you serious you idiot," said Asuka while tears started rolling down her cheeks. "You what? Want me to quit piloting the Eva's with you? Are you stupid?"

"Why won't you believe me!"

"Where would we go?"

"...I was thinking maybe back to where you used to live, you know, Germany."

"What part of we could never get involved with Nerv don't you understand? This is my life! Piloting Eva is my life and what I live for, it is part of what defines me as a person."

"Don't you want to be happy?"

"I am happy!"

"I don't believe you!"

"Believe what you want! What do you want though Shinji? You always do what other people do. You never do what you believe, you always follow others. If you want me to tell you to stop this, I wont. Its your decision, but I wont follow you. This is my place!"

"Even after this! Even after getting nearly killed because you were nothing more that a throwaway object."

Asuka seemed taken aback, and it showed on her face. "They chose me to pilot it instead of you."

"Because I couldn't pilot it!"

"So they value me as a pilot!"

"You don't understand how my father thinks Asuka. He was using you. If you had died...I think my mind would have broken, I would have turned into a mindless robot."

"So like the first."

"No not like Ayanami. Different, I would have been a human dummy plug.

"So you say that your father attempted to have me killed so that he could control you."

"Yes!"

"Bullshit! I can't believe that."

"Why can't you believe that you're the first person that I...connected with."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've said it yourself before Asuka, we are alike. As much as you want to ignore that, the fact is that we both had traumatic childhoods, both our mothers are dead, we've never had or considered the need for friends, and-"

"All right I get it already. But don't expect the same from me, I am my own person.

"...Why can't you understand-"

"If you thought that you were going to persuade me to leave, you're wrong. I don't care whether you stay or not!"

Shinji was silent for a few seconds as he continued to gaze back at Asuka. Finally, he slowly slid off the edge of the bed and made his way to the door. Turning around, he glanced briefly over his shoulder at Asuka who had picked up her discarded magazine. Even if they didn't see eye to eye, he still felt that there would always be understanding between them.

Giving her a brief smile, he slid the door open, and walked out into the open corridor.

Time seemed to freeze inside the room as soon as Shinji left, and Asuka had not moved an inch since she had picked up her magazine. In truth, she had been rereading the same sentence over and over ever since Shinji had gotten off the edge of her bed, and when he had reached the door, her eyes were straining to look over the magazine while trying to appear that she was still reading.

After several minutes, she slowly let her hands holding the magazine fall to her lap, where the magazine slid off the sleek sheets and fell to the floor. Slowly, she lifted her right hand until her cheek was resting in it.

"Huh?"

She drew her hand away from her cheek, surprised that it felt wet. Was she bleeding?

"Why am I crying?"

Sparkling tears glistened on her cheek as they slowly slid down, and rested on her chin. Why would she be crying? She had no reason to.

"Ah...I see," she mumbled.

No matter what she said or did, her feelings would always betray her. Why had she said those things to Shinji? She had certainly hurt him. She hadn't meant to, she just couldn't admit that he was right, because then she would have to realize that she was wrong.

She couldn't forsake Eva, no matter hard she tried, or no matter how much she relied on Shinji. It was part of who she was, her body was molded to fit inside her Eva. And yet, she was jealous of Shinji, so much that it hurt to think about him. She both loathed and loved the sight of him. He gave her hope when she couldn't find any, yet she hated him, because he was what she could not be.

Why couldn't she just be honest with him? Was she simply just too prideful? She had wanted to yell at him to take her away from this miserable life, to rid her of the torment of piloting Eva. Her sanctuary had been defiled by the angel, but her mind and her body acted differently. She had been trained so vigorously at the German branch of Nerv that it had become something of a reflex, like a habit. How was she supposed to break something like that?

She didn't want Shinji to have to suffer like she had, so she had shunned him. But he was so stupid that he was sure to return...right?

Maybe not...

What Shinji had said about them being alike, Asuka could never refute that. But because they were able to understand each other, that means that they were able to hurt each other more deeply then the average human relationship. But who was Shinji to Asuka anyway?

"I don't know," she mumbled as her hands ran over her tear streaked face. "I didn't want this to happen..."

* * *

Shinji was unsure what to do. Should he really leave? Was his father right? Was he simply just running away? But who would care if he did? Asuka had...reacted differently to what Shinji had thought she would have done. He had at least thought she would have told him that she thought that him leaving was completely stupid and that he had to stay and cook for her. He had never expected her to leave with him, but to blatantly tell him that she didn't care whether he stayed or not, that it was completely his decision and that he shouldn't act on what other people say and do. Why couldn't she admit that they needed each other? Was it so hard to admit that fact?

Maybe it was for her.

Shinji had to remind himself what she had been physically bred to do, and that was pilot Eva. He had never needed training, it had simply come naturally, which he figured had something to do with his exhibition of angel powers. She had certainly gone through rigorous training in Germany, so much that she despised the place. He could understand why she was so adamant on not returning. He couldn't blame her.

The fact was that she had nowhere else to go in the world, she had been trained for nothing else. What if the angel were finally defeated, what then? Were the Evangelion's and there pilots necessary in a peaceful world devoid of angels? What kind of job would she have in that scenario? Shinji honestly didn't want to think about that, because it felt too cruel.

Why couldn't she completely trust him, no matter what the problem was? She didn't have to fend for herself. They had shared enough that it was simply common sense.

Was the shelter and power of the Evangelion the only thing that kept her from collapsing? But after this last battle, how did she feel? She was already in a terrible state because of the attempted rape, and then she had to go and test an Evangelion that she was wholly unfamiliar with. How was one supposed to feel about that?

But what was he supposed to do? Was she being honest when she had said that she didn't care wether he stayed or not? Or was that simply just her pride getting in the way again?

"Shinji?"

Shinji froze in mid step and looked around. He had not realized how much he had wandered away from the hospital ward and was surprised to noticed that he was in a completely unfamiliar part of Nerv that he had never entered before.

Looking around for the voice that called his name, he saw somebody peering out of a glass window to his right. It looked like...

"Kaji...right," Shinji muttered?

What came back was slightly muffled as they were talking through a piece of glass. "Yeah, and I'm surprised to see you over in the investigation department. Hardly anybody every comes here, you least of all."

"...I was sorta thinking and lost track of time."

Kaji frowned at him for a moment before he stood and walked over to the door. Opening it he said, "Come on in. You seem to not have anything better to do."

Shinji's shoulders slumped slightly as he muttered an almost inaudible, "K'ay."

As Shinji walked into Kaji's office the first thing he understood was that him and Misato had similar habits, in that both seemed to be extremely unorganized. Papers were strewn across a small desk that housed a computer who's keyboard was hidden under a stack of papers. A bulletin board next to the desk on the right showed a detailed map of the world. Shinji noted that it showed the world as it was before Second Impact.

Kaji seemed to notice that Shinji took some interest in the map and said, "Its difficult to find pre Second Impact maps anymore. Almost all of them have been thrown out or redrawn."

"Is that what Antarctica used to look like before Second Impact?"

"Yeah, it used to be a solid piece of ice, now most of the ice has evaporated though. Do you know much about Second Impact?"

"...Just what the teacher taught us at school, which I learned later was wrong."

"Well its not something that the public is supposed to know after all."

"...So what happened?"

Kaji paused for a minute, before he sat down in the chair in front of his desk and crossed his arms. "Do you know much about Misato's childhood?"

Shinji shook his head. "No, she never talks about herself."

"...She never did."

"What does Misato have to do with Second Impact?"

"Do you know about the South Pole Expedition team?"

"...No, what is it?"

"A team of scientists that initiated Second Impact. Misato's father was in charge of the expedition."

"What! They initiated-"

"You know about Adam, correct?"

"The First Angel, yeah."

"Adam appeared in the South Pole during the expedition team. A contact experiment using Adam as the host ensued during which they lost control of the experiment. That is what is known as Second Impact. Misato was only a little kid during this and she witnessed it. She's the only survivor of the team sent down there. Her father died before her eyes, he put her in a capsule and ejected it out to sea. That white cross she wears around her neck all the time, is a memento from her father. The reason she joined Nerv was because she felt that as her fathers daughter, it was her duty to continue on in his legacy, and so she fights the angels in the best way she can. ...As you said, she never likes to talk about herself, though she has a good reason. In fact you seem to be the only person that she's warmed up to in recent years."

"...What about you and Ritsuko though?"

"The two of us fell out a long time ago, as for Ritsuko, well, its a professional relationship now days. Enough about us adults though, how do you feel?"

Shinji paused for a minute before he said, "What do you mean?"

"You have been under house arrest for over a week now, and Asuka has now been bed ridden, what do you plan to do?"

"What do I plan-"

"I heard that you attempted to talk with the commander, and I used attempted because I heard that nothing good came out of it. And so do you really plan on leaving Nerv?"

"I don't know."

"Did you consider how Misato would feel? She would certainly be hurt because of your decision."

"I talked with Asuka..."

"And what did she say?"

"...She...didn't care."

"So what will you do?"

"...I don't know..."

Kaji paused for a moment before he leaned back in his chair. "You know Shinji...you are a lot like myself when I was a kid. I was indecisive, I followed what others did, I didn't think for myself. I couldn't think without somebody else telling me what to do, and just like you, I tried to run away from my responsibilities. Shinji, you may not have realized it, but you have been thrust into the position of adult hood far sooner then most humans, and not just you, Asuka too. You have responsibilities that would make most adults shake in their shoes. You have aged too quickly, and us adults of the old generation must blame ourselves for that. You have become a man Shinji, and so you must make decisions like a man should."

"I'm still a kid."

"Physically yes, but as I said, you have done things that no adult could ever do. You have a burden that no adult could ever carry."

"...Are you referring to my-"

"No, nor do I care about what changes you undergo. I still see the same Shinji that I met in Misato's apartment."

"But I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I'm nothing more than a pawn that gets moved around whenever it suits a person's needs. Why do I pilot Eva?"

Kaji paused for a second before he sighed and shook his head. "I can't answer that Shinji, only you can."

Shinji suddenly found himself intensely interested in a spot on the wall where the paint seamed to be chipped.

"If you want my advice though," said Kaji after a few seconds, "I wouldn't leave, it would be irresponsible at this point. A man should finish what he started."

"But I didn't start this, you grownups did."

"For which we shall never be forgiven, most likely. In our folly, we attempted to usurp the power of God and claim it as our own using science. Now we have to deal with the world as it is. Don't make the same mistake that past generations have made Shinji."

Shinji wasn't sure whether Kaji was with or against him. His advice didn't seem all that helpful to him.

"And with regards to Asuka," said Kaji continuing, "give her some time. In certain aspects, she bears a strong resemblance to a young woman that I used to know a long time ago."

"...I assume you mean Misato."

"I didn't say that," muttered Kaji.

Shinji couldn't help it, he chuckled lightly.

* * *

"I'm surprised to see that you're not in there with her, considering you've already disobeyed orders and frightened a nurse half to death," said Misato as she walked down the hallway, stopping when she saw Shinji sitting on a chair opposite the door he was starring at.

Turning towards her, Shinji shrugged and said, "Being near is fine for now."

"Did you two have another fight?" Asked Misato as she sat down next to him.

"...No, not like our normals fights, I told her that I planned on quitting Nerv and I asked her to follow me."

"And she of course refused you."

"How did you-"

"I've known Asuka far longer than you have Shinji, since she was first chosen as the Second Child, and the training that she underwent to accomplish that. She would be throwing five years of her life away if she followed you."

"I suppose."

"...So? Do you still plan on leaving?"

"I still don't know. What is the meaning behind my life if all I'm good for is piloting Eva?"

"Everybody is grateful for what you do Shinji, even the commander."

"My father? He doesn't give a damn..."

"He just has difficulty showing his emotions."

"...If he even has any," muttered Shinji.

The two passed into silence until Shinji blurted something out without meaning.

"Misato, what kind of man was your father?"

The question seemed to catch Misato off guard for a minute because she turned towards him and asked him with a raised eyebrow, "What made you ask that?"

"I don't know...my conversation with my father I guess. Its the first I've had since I left home years ago. I had asked Asuka about her family before...but I feel like the answer I got wasn't what I was looking for."

Misato continued looking at him for a minute before she sank back in to her chair. Crossing her legs, she said, "My father...was like yours in some ways. He was always so absorbed in his research that he never had time for me or my mother. I supposed thats why she divorced him eventually."

"Your parents are divorced?"

Misato smiled wanly and said, "I supposed they are, though my father is no longer living."

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay, he died doing what he enjoyed."

"Did you hate him?"

A long pause ensued, during which Shinji thought that Misato might not have heard his question and was about to open his mouth when she replied, "Yes, I suppose I did. I hated him for the same reasons that you hate your father. I felt that he had abandoned myself and my mother for his research. Though he loved me nonetheless and I found that out during the last few moments of his life. I hate myself for not realizing it sooner. And so I repent, by doing the only thing I see that I can do, by fighting the-"

"Sorry Misato...Kaji already told me some of this."

"Wha-"

"He told me about Second Impact and the South Pole Expedition team."

Misato narrowed her eyes and said, "That stupid self conceited bastar-"

"Sorry, and I sorta asked, so its my fault as much as his."

Misato grimaced and said, "How much did he tell you?"

"About the true nature of Second Impact, which also led into your childhood."

Misato seemed to be relieved about something, because she wiped the sleeve of her shirt across her brow. "I'll have to have a word with that idiot later. So you know that my dad helped start Second Impact."

"I wouldn't say it like that-"

"The commander was also part of the research team, but he had left a few days early on urgent business. He'd probably be dead if not for that."

"My dad was on the research team?"

"Yeah, your mother also."

"...I didn't know."

"It isn't in the history books. Officially a meteorite struck earth and created Second Impact, but most governments around the world know the true story."

"Why bother hiding it?"

"To control the public. If people were to know, mass panic would ensue. Humanity cannot recognize another intelligent being on the planet other than itself."

"And so you created the Evangelion and chose kids to pilot it."

Misato hesitated for a second but instead said, "Yes, in essence."

"Then its your people's fault that Asuka can't let got of the Evangelion."

"She chose what she would become-"

"Because there was no other option available for her!"

"Shinji, if you are quitting Nerv in protest of what the commander did, you wont get much sympathy. It was the only other option since the Fourth Child has yet to be found. Rei is only compatible with Unit 00, and you could not pilot."

"My father made the decision to hurt me and control me!"

"I don't like it either, but what do you expect me to do about it!"

"You're a grownup, you're supposed to be mine and Asuka's guardian, so why don't you take responsibility instead of always shoving it on me!"

This stung Misato greatly, and she seemed to now be leaning away from Shinji.

"Shinji...Asuka decided this by herself. She knew the possible danger, but she decided to-"

"Yet you didn't stop her, as a proper parent would have," Shinji retorted angrily.

This stung Misato even more, and she finally stood up and turned away from Shinji.

"Remember Shinji, if you leave, it will do more harm then good."

"Thats not for you to decide," he mumbled.

Misato sighed and said, "You've had to grow up too quickly, and yet you haven't matured."

Shinji then turned angrily toward her, only to see that she had started walking away.

"Remember Shinji," she called as she continued walking, "Asuka won't be the only one sad if you leave." Turning around, Shinji could see that the corners of her eyes were glistening with tears.

"I'd be sad too," she mumbled, before walking deeper into the depths of Nerv.

Shinji continued starring down the empty corridor where Misato had disappeared into for a long time before he turned his head to continue starring at the door that Asuka was behind. He didn't want to talk with her, not now, not after his discussion with Misato.

Had he gone too far? Yes, he probably had. Misato had looked after him for the longest time now. She had been the closest thing to a parent that he had experienced, and he had just accused her of being a terrible parent. But she wasn't, she didn't have a clue about who a parent really was. Is that what he was trying to find? Was he trying to find the ideal family?

"No, that wasn't it," he mumbled.

Then was he trying to find the love that his life had always been lacking. Had he tried to supplement Misato as a mother?

"...Damn it!"

Shinji kicked the chair that Misato had been sitting on to the side suddenly, his anger getting the better of him. Passing a hand over his eyes, he rubbed them, trying to get a hold of his emotions. What he really needed was to leave this place, but his security card had been taken from him so he couldn't do just that. He could force the gate open if he wanted, but he felt that was a bit excessive. So then how was he supposed...

"...Asuka..."

If he had her card he should be able to get through, the security cameras would set off an alarm though as soon as they saw him leaving. He was willing to take that chance though.

Standing up, he walked to her door and pressed his ear lightly against the cold wood. He didn't hear anything and hoped that she wasn't sleeping. It wouldn't feel right to take it while she was sleeping, and he knew she'd give him hell for taking it without her permission. But, she might give him hell anyway.

Grasping the doorknob with his right hand, he turned it quietly and slowly opened the door.

"About time baka. I was about to call a nurse to yank your ass in here."

Shinji was surprised to hear her scornful voice as though she was waiting for him, but even more surprised that, even though her voice was hard, she seemed to be smiling slightly.

"You were...waiting?"

"How could I not be with the racket you were making out there?"

Shinji grinned sheepishly, "So you heard everything with Misato?"

Asuka crossed her arms and said, "Who couldn't?"

Shinji was somewhat embarrassed and unsure how he should proceed. He was waiting for Asuka to start yelling at him for some of the things that he had said out there.

"So? I assume you weren't arguing over nothing out there. What have you decided?"

Shinji looked up into Asuka's face and said, "I think I know, but I still need time to think to be sure. I was hoping I could borrow your security card since I can't get leave without one."

"...Do you plan on leaving?"

"I've been here for over a week, I'd like to get some fresh air and think for a bit."

Asuka frowned, "I suppose. Just don't use it for anything perverted."

"Like what?"

Asuka narrowed her eyes and whispered something that Shinji scoffed at. The security cards that they were given were also used to make purchases. It was like a debit card.

"You should have more faith in me," mumbled Shinji after a few seconds.

"All boys are the same once you get past everything else."

"Yeah, yeah...so, are you gonna give it to me?"

Asuka hesitated for a second but said, "Yeah...I suppose."

Turning to her right, she opened a drawer next to her bed and drew out a chain with her card attached to it.

"I'll trust you to not lose it, and if you do I expect full compensation."

"Yes, I know," replied Shinji again.

"Good, then get going, I'm tired after having to hear yours and Misato's shouting match."

"Right," mumbled Shinji.

Turning towards the door, he got maybe a step in before something grabbed a hold of his wrist. Spinning around, he saw Asuka looking at him forlornly with her bottom teeth biting down on her lower lip.

"If you leave, I won't forgive you," she whispered.

Shinji froze for a second and looked back at her. He wanted to stay...but no, this felt too important to ignore. Simply nodding, he slid his wrist out of Asuka's grasp, and walked out the door.

The hand that had briefly held Shinji's wrist hung limply at Asuka's side before she brought it up to her face and pressed the back of it lightly against her left cheek.

"Baka," she mumbled, before she rolled over onto her stomach, buried her face in her pillow and tossed the sheets over her head.


	16. Horrors

**Sorry about the wait for this. It was originally supposed to come out on Valentines Day, but I get sick and basically wasn't in the mood to do much typing till a week ago, which in hindsight is properly good, since this is a very unvalentines day chapter. Anyways to make up for that I've got something special today. I'm posting two chapters today...why you ask. Because I just turned twenty today. Yeah its my birthday, party crackers for all. Anyway its late so I'm gonna post this and the other in a bit and go to sleep. Can't wait till...later I guess since it is tomorrow. Gonna go to the Oliver Garden (italian restaurant for those of you that don't know, not sure if its in another parts of the US besides Oregon)**

* * *

Shinji was moving fast, in fact, faster then he had probably ever moved in his life. Chances are, if anybody saw him running like this through the corridors of Nerv, he'd be pulled aside instantly. He had managed to avoid most of the security cameras, at least so far. He knew that every gate leading in and out of Nerv had at least three security cameras, giving a complete three hundred and sixty degree view. As long as he could make it there and leave, he should be fine.

He still didn't know what he would do though when he left, and thats what was nagging at him. Where exactly should he go? He could walk some of the trails that he used to walk before he met Asuka and Misato, but for some reason, he didn't want to remember those painful times of loneliness. He just needed to leave, leave and think, for thats what Asuka had risked her security card for.

He hoped she wouldn't get in too much trouble, Misato would probably glaze over the small misdemeanor. Shinji knew that letting other Nerv employee's know your security code on the back of your card was subject to confinement for up to three days. But surely it wouldn't count as much. Besides, Asuka could just lie and tell them he took it while she was sleeping. They'd believe it well enough with the current state of affairs.

Pausing at the corner of a four way intersection of hallways, Shinji looked around a corner for a brief instance. After catching his breath, and being sure that nobody had seen him, person or camera, he took off in another full sprint.

The gate he was headed for was the closest from the Nerv hospital, in fact, it had been built especially for the sake of bringing injured people straight from downtown Tokyo-3, which was where he was headed.

Finally reaching the elevator that would take him up to the gate, he peaked around the corner briefly, only to jerk his head back to its starting place.

"Shit," he mumbled. He had forgotten that there was a camera placed precariously above the elevator.

Looking around the corner again, he weighed his chances of running straight towards the elevator and being spotted. He supposed he could, and risk security spotting him and forcing a lock down on gate five, which he was just under, or he could...

'Practice makes perfect,' he thought.

Pressing himself flat against the corner of the wall, he then griped the corner of the wall with his right hand in preparation. In truth, he had no idea whether this would work or not. Whenever he had used his AT-field before, the object of his thought had always been within reaching distance. The camera had to be a good ten meters away though.

Glancing around the corner, he saw the camera swiveling left and right as it covered the corridors on either side of it, not just the one in front which Shinji was on. Reacting quickly as it moved towards the left, temporarily loosing sight of the middle hallway, Shinji swung his right arm up in a straight arc directed at the camera. At the same time, he thought repeatedly in his head, 'Slice it, Slice it, Slice it!'

Shinji felt it before he heard the shattering of the camera and its subsequent fall to the floor. Something which could only be described as what felt like another layer of skin that molded perfectly with his body, shot outwards before changing into a straight line in mid air. The camera lens was split directly in half along with the supports that mounted it to the wall.

Shinji opened his eyes, just as the camera hit the floor, and shattered into a few more pieces. It may be the pinnacle of surveillance equipment, but its still as fragile as glass.

Trying not to revel in this sudden new surprise at what he was capable of doing, Shinji quickly hurried down the rest of the corridor, punched in the numbers that would take him to the surface, and stepped into the elevator.

...Meanwhile in a security room not to far from the elevator Shinji had just entered...

"Strange..." mumbled the guard. "Camera twenty-two suddenly went silent."

"What happened?" Replied the other.

"I don't know but...wait...somebody is in the elevator leading to gate number five."

"Unauthorized?"

"Seems to be that way."

"Better call it up then."

* * *

Misato had certainly lived through better days then the ones she was currently experiencing. She couldn't believe that she had her first fight with Shinji. Sure they had argued a few times, but she had never seen such loathing in his eyes as he berated her about being a bad parent. Did he honestly expect her to be happy with the current situation? Of course she hated it, but she had tried her best!

Turning away from the stack of papers that sat on her desk, she swiveled around in her chair, placed her elbows on her knees, and rested her chin in her hands.

By having Shinji and Asuka living with her, was she trying to act out the position of being a parent? What was a guardian then? Some form of authority at its most basics most likely. Shinji and Asuka were just too young to live by themselves, no matter how much either desired it.

She had never seriously thought of having kids before, it had always seemed something from another world. Certainly she had wondered what it would be like as any young adult woman does, but that was when she had been in college, and still clueless about the workings of the world. And yet, there had been times with Kaji when she had thought what raising a family would have been like with him. But neither of them could have handled that sort of responsibility. Now she was wondering if she could even handle two teenagers.

She felt ashamed of saying it, but when she had learned about the probability of Shinji having angel powers, she felt scared of him. She now realized how wrong that had been, and how it had affected Shinji. Shinji and Asuka had there ups and downs, no use denying it. But she had always been there and supported him. But when she became afraid of what he might be, she shunned him. Because of that, he seemed to resent her, and blamed her because of what happened to Asuka.

"But it wasn't my fault," she whispered with her face now resting in her hands. "I took every precaution available, I tried to have the commander change pilots or choose the fourth. I tried!"

Misato suddenly jumped in her chair, startled as the phone on her desk rang amongst the many papers and documents. Turning towards her desk, she shifted some of the papers out of the way, only to stare at the number on the phone. If she remembered correctly six, seven, one, was the area code for a guard post stationed just before the gate leading to downtown Tokyo-3.

Picking it up hesitantly, she said, "This is Major Misato..."

"Major, we have a security breach over here at gate five, one of our security cameras was taken out, and the suspect is traveling up the elevator."

"Initiated the automatic shutdown of the elevator."

"We can't, the person must be a Nerv employee because he overrode the emergency shutdown access code."

"Force a lockdown on gate five."

"We wont make it in time."

"Damn it! Did the camera get a shot of the intruder before it was taken out?"

"No, all we were able to see was a single frame in the video where it showed a flash of orange light before the camera was destroyed."

"What!"

"Is something wrong Major?"

Misato bit her tongue for a second before she said, "Put me through to the hospital, ward number eleven, and let me know when the suspect passes through the gate. At most we'll be able to know who it is with their security card."

"Very well Major."

Misato heard the click as the guard disconnected and the beeping, as she was connected to the hospital ward. She had a feeling who was leaving via gate number five, but wanted to be sure. The gate was after all closest to the hospital."

Finally a female voice came on the phone and said, "Nerv hospital, ward number eleven, how may I help you."

"This is Major Misato. Put me through to room 301, and make it quick!"

"At once, Major."

After several seconds, Misato heard a click and Asuka's voice as she answered the phone.

"Yes, what is it," Asuka grumbled slightly?

"Asuka, its Misato."

"Is something wrong?"

"Is Shinji with you?"

"No, he's not. Should he be?"

"I think he might have left and just thought you might know whether he had left or not?"

"Wouldn't you find that out faster then I would considering I'm stuck here," said Asuka with a slight hint of amusement in her voice.

"Asuka! Did Shinji tell you he was leaving!"

There was a slight pause before Asuka replied, "Whatever he decides to do if he leaves is entirely up to him."

"Damn it Asuka! Did you give him your pass card, because if you did I-"

"Court martial me? Not likely since I'm an Eva pilot."

"Asuka do you realize what you've done?"

"...Its not like he's going to do anything that would put Nerv in a bad position."

"But he may never come back! Surely you realize that!"

"No, he will come back."

"How can you be so sure-"

"Because I believe him," replied Asuka with such a strong voice that Misato had to pause several seconds before replying, "How can you be sure though?"

Misato thought she caught a slight laugh in Asuka's reply as she said, "Because he knows that I'd find him no matter where he went on this planet and give him hell for breaking his promise to me."

Misato was silent for almost a thirty-seconds before Asuka said quietly, "He'll be back. Maybe not tomorrow...or the day after, but he will be, because he knows I'm waiting for him."

"...Asuka..."

"Sorry Misato but I'm still tired, so if we're done, I'd like to get back to sleep."

"Asuka you realize that if Shinji doesn't return...then you really _could_ face the possibility of a court martial."

"Good, then I'd have all the time in the world to find that idiot."

Asuka hung up without another word, leaving Misato with nothing but the ringing of Asuka's last words in her ears.

Hanging the phone up, she saw the light flashing on and off her answering machine and pressed it. Predictably, it had been the guard that had talked to her earlier and he described the portrait of the person leaving Nerv. Though he was puzzled as the security card rang up something different then what the cameras had shown. After a minute of his lengthly description, Misato pressed the hang up button and leaned back in her chair.

She felt like she had failed not only Asuka, but now Shinji also as a guardian.

* * *

Even the stale air of Tokyo-3 never smelled so sweet as it did now that Shinji finally made it out into the open air. Stretching his legs to the point where he could feel his underused muscles cramping up, he threw his arms behind his head and gazed up into the blue sky of Tokyo-3. It had been...what, over a week since he saw blue skies? No, longer than that, since it had been raining those past few days before he had been taken to Nerv.

'Now...what to do," he wondered?

Starting off in a walk that was unsure of its final destination, he let his feet take him wherever they wanted to go while his mind wandered.

First then...why did he pilot?

'Because I'm told to,' said a voice in his head.

'No...thats not right.'

'But people expect you to, because you have talent.'

'So they push there own responsibilities and desires onto me.'

'Why do you loath contact between other humans?'

'Because nobody loves me. They only care about themselves.'

'So you pilot to acquire the love that was missing in your life?'

'No! Thats not it!'

'What do you wish for? What does your heart desire?'

'I don't know.'

'Why don't you know?'

'I don't know! I don't know what love feels like because I've never been loved!'

'What about Misato? Asuka? Rei? What do you feel for them?'

'They...I don't know.'

'You don't want to know...because you're afraid of being hurt.'

'Stop it!'

These last words Shinji blurted out into the open air. Looking wildly around for a minute, he realized he had come a good ways from gate five. Glancing towards his left and right, he tried to place where he was with the map of Tokyo-3 that resided in his head. Whatever his grades looked like, he always seemed to memorize things easier then most people.

There was a shop on his left that looked as though it had come right out of the 1800's, while on his right there seemed to be a small cafe of some sort. Hesitating briefly, his grumbling stomach won over his common logic, and he crossed the street, and walked in.

It seemed even smaller then what he had seen outside. Upon walking into the small shop, the first thing he saw was the wooden counter that ran along in half a circle. Seated behind it was a woman, a little older than him that had dark brown hair streaked with a darkened red. She was reading a book of sorts and Shinji understood that to mean that this place rarely got any customers.

Seated next to the windows directly to the left and right of him were several small wooden tables with one or two chairs around them. A few of them even had a small glass vase with flowers in them, attempting to improve the look of the place. Several hanging fans with light fixtures spun above him and blew cool air into his face, as if he had needed it. The walls were mostly bare and devoid of pictures or paintings except for a rather dull looking picture of a cup of coffee that was placed behind the wooden counter. Shinji couldn't understand how this place was still in business.

Walking up to the counter, he got a closer look at the girls face and realized that she wasn't all that bad looking. He suddenly felt a chill down his spine though and seemed to think that he had just angered somebody greatly. It was a ridiculous thought, and besides, its not like he was tied down or anything.

Seeing that she had a customer, the girl put down her book, and walked up to the register.

"What can I get you?"

Shinji was rather taken aback at the tone of her voice as it was quite clear that she didn't enjoy being interrupted in the middle of reading. Whats more though, the tone and inflection reminded him strongly of somebody else.

"Well?" She asked again, this time with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry," Shinji mumbled. Glancing at the menu, he didn't feel as though his stomach had any preference today and just went with two deli sandwiches and a small cola.

The girl was unsociable as she rang up Shinji's order, and retreated to the back of the cafe to get his food. Shinji was honestly wondering how fresh a sandwich could be if it was kept in the back of a cafe.

Returning to the front of the cafe, the girl placed the wrapped sandwich and turned to fill Shinji's cup of cola. After filling it to the brim, she turned to Shinji and said in a crass voice, "Five seventy-five."

Shinji had completely forgotten about paying for his meal and winced again, as another cold streak ran down his spine. Hesitating, unsure of how he should proceed, he heard a small voice in his head say, 'Go ahead and use the card, its not like this is wrong or anything.'

'But I feel bad, using Asuka's card for food,' he replied back.

'What will you do then, starve?'

Thankfully, Shinji's reply was unnecessary as the girl at the counter said, "Are you paying or what!"

Pulling Shinji out of his reprieve, he glanced at her and saw contempt on her face. He had a sudden surge of annoyance that he had not felt in some time course through him.

'Cool it,' he reminded himself. 'Flying off the handle now would only make matters worse.'

So, calming himself down, he muttered, "Right, sorry," and fished Asuka's security card out of his pocket.

Either the girl didn't bother to check the picture or name on the card when she swiped it through the slot, or she simply didn't care, because it only left Shinji's hand for three seconds.

Depositing the card in his pocket, he turned with his food in hand and without another glance, started walking towards the door, though something held him back. Turning suddenly to his right, and not quite sure what he was doing, he walked over the table in the farthest corner of the right wall, and sat himself down in a chair facing the window.

It took him a few seconds to realize that he was still inside the cafe, and he couldn't understand why his feet had suddenly decided to take a detour. Was his subconscious telling him to stay here? That was certainly stupid.

'Fuck it,' he thought.

Unwrapping his sandwich, he glanced up briefly at the counter, only to see that the girl had sat back down on her stool with her book back in her hand. It seemed she wasn't pleased with Shinji's sudden decision, as her eyebrows seemed to have come together. Well, Shinji wasn't happy with it either, but it appeared that he had stopped here for a reason maybe.

Tearing a bight out of the sandwich, he started chewing it methodically, as he churned over what he thought he should do.

Admittedly, though he really _didn't_ want to admit it, he didn't think he could leave Nerv, or at least, he would destroy himself in the process of leaving. The truth was, that he had become used to being around everyone, to enjoy the presence of people around him. He had even become accustomed to piloting Eva, if that sounded logical at.

Then of course there was Asuka; he wasn't sure if her existence was a blessing, or a plague upon him. Maybe deep down, he knew he'd never be able to leave, but because of her? Well, he supposed it was likely, but he...just didn't know what he felt. It was sorta just nothing, he supposed. It didn't feel like anything was there, like there never had been. Or maybe...it wasn't something that he could feel, not like a physical form, but neither as something spiritual. Maybe it was because she was missing, like a part of him was gone...or something.

'So damn confusing,' he thought as he put his sandwich down and took a swig of his cola.

And then there was of course the nagging question of who he was. What was his significance in the Human Instrumentality Project, for he was certainly a key factor? Was his father banking on the fact that he wouldn't leave, or had he already out lived his usefulness? Why did he exhibit angel powers? Why was he able to generate an AT-field? Why was he so different?

His father, it always came back to that. What exactly did he know? What was he trying to keep Shinji in the dark about? Who else knew what he might be? Ritsuko? Fuyutsuki? ...Rei, maybe?

A sudden cough made him jump as he had quite forgotten that he was not alone in the store. Looking up at the counter, he saw that the girl at it was pinching the space in between her eyebrows absently. Shinji could only guess that she was irritated at his presence. Well, he couldn't really blame her.

As Shinji looked away, he was about the take another bight out of his sandwich when he caught glimpse of the book she was reading, and before he could stop himself he was blurting out, "Isn't that _The Catcher in the Rye?"_

A long moment of silence passed inside the shop as Shinji slightly rebuked his sudden question. It was rather rude he thought. Though he was surprised as she replied back moments later with a stiff, "Yeah, it is."

Shinji, unsure of how he was supposed to reply, took a quick sip of his drink and was about to raise the sandwich to his mouth when he heard a question, which sounded as though it didn't care if it was answered or not.

"Why, have you read it?"

Shinji looked up from his meal and turned towards the counter and was rather surprised to see that she was looking at him.

"Sorta...I'm reading it right now, though I haven't been able to read any for almost a week now."

"Hmmm, is it a school thing?"

"No, I'm reading it on my own time."

She looked at him evenly for a second before replying, "...I see."

Shinji watched her for a few seconds before turning back towards his sandwich. It wasn't exactly conversational, but he had a better impression of her at least.

Finishing his first sandwich, he was about ready to start on his second, when the front door of the cafe when flying open, bounced off the opposite wall, only to be kicked as it swung back into place. Shinji watched, with his second sandwich half way to his mouth, as three burly men marched into the cafe and planted themselves in front of the wooden cabin. Something about the way they were shifting their weight back and forth made Shinji feel a certain ominous presence, as though each of them had something bulky and concealed in their jackets.

Whoever the girl was, she seemed to recognize the three, because she immediately put her book down and hurried around the side of the counter before ending up in front of the men. Shinji seemed to be completely forgotten during this exchange, and suddenly realized he was holding his breath.

The tallest of the three stepped forward as the girl skidded to a half in front of them. Shinji saw him smile, and counted several golden teeth.

"Becca my darling, how goes business today?"

"I'm sorry Eein, I have not had many customers toda-"

"Bah! Again ya useless tramp! What good are ya if ya can't run a simple business!"

"Please...this place is in such of an out of the way area that people don't want to come."

"Maybe we out to change the menu a little boss."

Eein turned towards his friend and said, "Like what Gonzo?"

"How about, 'Blowjobs five dollars a pop, and titfucks for an extra fifty cents.'"

"You never cease to amaze me Gonzo," replied Eein, as he roared with laughter. "I like it! And she has to keep sucking till she blows their load. Should we give the option of take home photographs so the sleazy perverts can all have something to wank off to when there lonely?"

"Boom goes the dynamite," cackled Gonzo as he made a jerking gesture with his right hand.

Eein chuckled lightly as he turned towards Rebecca. "So what do ya think? Could you bring in more money that way?"

Rebecca tried to hide the sadness that welled up in her eyes. "I...don't know, Eein."

"Course you don't ya little tramp. You'll do what you're told and not complain about it. So, ya had to have at least one customer today, where's the money?"

"But-"

"I take a profit of the money and leave the rest for you're shitless mother. That was the deal...so where is it!"

Rebecca hung her head as she turned to walk back around the corner, while Eein followed her. Opening the register, Rebecca stood to the side as Eein examined the contents.

"This it," he exclaimed as he looked at the measly ten dollars and twenty-five cents that sat in the register.

"I-I did have a customer pay with a card-"

"Dumb fuck! What did I tell you about that hmmmm! We only except cash!"

"I'm sorry, I forgot..."

"You seem to forget a lot...tch whatever."

Swiping the money out of the register, he thumbed through it briefly before chucking the twenty-five cents back into the register.

"Theres your salary for the day, do what ever the fuck you want with it, even if its for that dying sack of shit of a mother."

"Thank you-"

"You better get down on your fucking knees and kiss my ass. Without me, your mother would be in the fucking ground six feet under."

"I know."

"I really don't think you do," replied Eein with a snarl, as his hand suddenly shot outward and grabbed Rebecca's right breast. Rebecca winced in pain as the large fingers and long finger nails started to dig into the soft flesh.

"You picked a bad day to irk me, girl. I got pretty pissed earlier and broke some sluts chin for not knowing where her place was; down on all fours howling like a dog. I've got plenty of tension built up right now and would love to release some of it into your pussy. Maybe you'd like to take her place for a bit. I'm sure I could get you squealing like a pig in a matter of seconds."

Gesturing towards his crew on the other side of the counter, they started walking around so they would soon join there boss in the screw fest. However, as Eein reached for the neckline of Rebecca's shirt, a loud 'clunk' echoed around the small cafe as Shinji slammed what remained of his drink down on the table, sloshing most of the rest of his drink over the side of his cup.

Shinji caught movement immediately as Gonzo and the other thug reached into their coat pockets, but froze their hands when they saw it was just a kid. Looking wildly around at there boss, Eein glanced at Shinji, before nodding towards his two thugs. One dead middle schooler wasn't going to hurt the world a bit.

As Gonzo and the other started pulling out there concealed weapons, the pressure in the room changed dramatically. During the exchange of words, Shinji had watched everything carefully. He didn't want to get himself involved unless he saw absolutely no other option. He didn't want a repeat of the rapist, and this would have been three dead men. He had calmly assessed his options, and decided if worst came to worse, he could threaten them to a certain degree. However, when he heard what Eein was going to do to the girl called Rebecca, Shinji had come very close to lashing out in anger and lopping Eein's head off.

Now though, he felt like he was in complete control of the situation. They way he presented his posture, showed that he was utterly lax, and yet the thugs could feel a killing intent coming from him so strong that it was almost constricting their throats. It was like a large weight was suddenly being pressed down on top of them, so much that there backs were threatening to bend. Shinji could almost hear the frantic beating of the three hearts as they waited for him to make a move. The air was suddenly stifling as though Shinji's anger was coursing through the air, and throughout it all, he looked almost serene, and that was the worst part. They got the impression that if he so much as moved his right hand, they would all die.

The other thug suddenly took a hesitant step back as he felt Shinji's eyes boar into him. Gonzo looked wildly around at his boss and was surprised that his boss was looking intently at Shinji, as though deciding whether or not he could kill the kid before he killed him.

The two glared each other down, while Shinji was getting anxious and was tempted to scare them with his AT-field, when Eein pulled back.

"Sorry that ya had to see that kid," he mumbled, doing a little mock bow in front of Shinji. It was almost as though he was mocking him.

"Come on guys, we got other stops to make."

Without another word, the three thugs exited the shop and passed down the street.

Shinji waited until he was certain that they had left the entire block, before he quickly stood up, walked over to the counter and swung his legs over the wooden surface.

Rebecca was sitting on the floor with her legs drawn up to her chest. She seemed to be crying silently, and Shinji was vaguely reminded of a similar experience with Asuka.

Kneeling down next to her, he muttered, "You okay?"

"No...I'm...Not," she managed to say through sobs.

'Right,' thought Shinji, 'that was a given.'

"Can I get you anything," he mumbled?

"The...white cloth, next to the coffee machine."

Standing up, Shinji spotted it immediately as it was the only white thing in the cafe and handed it to her.

Dabbing at the edges of her eyes with it, she looked up at Shinji. Her eyes were extremely puffy and red.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Its okay..."

She shook her head and said, "No, it really isn't. You're just a kid...and yet..."

A twinge of annoyance hit Shinji at the word kid. Sure from someone her ages perspective he was a kid, but if she knew what he had done...well...

"...And yet you stood up for me," she finished.

Shinji's previous thought was banished at her words, and he was slightly abashed.

"I don't really think-"

"No, its because you were there that they didn't do anything."

'Glad to help,' thought Shinji slightly disgruntled.

"I'm Rebecca by the way...you?"

"Shinji."

"Thank you, Shinji..."

Shinji simply nodded and stood up. Walking over to the coffee machine, he examined it for a minute before deciding that he would rather have tea instead. Looking for a pot and tea leaves, Rebecca realize what he was doing and pointed out where everything was.

After setting everything together, the two of them waited for the water to boil.

"Why do you put up with it," Shinji suddenly asked her?

Rebecca was silent for a minute before she replied, "My mother has a rare disease that affects her mental capacity. She has the body of an adult, yet in essence she is a kid. She was born like that, but in recent years its become a lot worse. My father left us last year because he couldn't stand her anymore."

"I'm sorry," Shinji muttered.

"Don't be...its not like you're to blame."

"But why this? Why this if you hate it so much."

"...Eein...is rude, disgusting, selfish, an arrogant bastard, and all around sleaze ball. But he is very rich, his father is the president of a petroleum company which deals with the United States. Because of his fathers reputation, he is able to get certain things done that other people wouldn't. He became fond of me a few years ago...when I was still developing, and heard about my mothers dilemma. He told me that if I worked for him, he'd provide the medical insurance to keep her alive and well. And so, I've become something of a slave I guess."

"Thats-"

"Cruel? Disgusting? Inhuman? I don't care, my mothers alive."

"But what about you're life? What do you want to do with yourself? You cant live like this forever; what happens when he throws you away?"

"I'll worry about it when the time comes," she mumbled, though she didn't seem very hopeful.

Shinji was silent for a second, and was thankfully give a reason to stand up as the water came to a boil. Placing the tea leaves in the pot, he waited till they dissolved, and poured two cups of herbal tea into two mugs.

"Thanks," Rebecca said as Shinji passed the cup to her.

Sipping it quietly, Rebecca suddenly turned to Shinji and said, "I was wondering, but didn't bother asking. Do you go to school, or?"

"...Normally yes, but I haven't gone for a week because of...certain circumstances."

"Would these circumstances have anything to do with the fact that you're in one of the most inhospitable parts of Tokyo-3?"

"I was just sorta...walking and thinking and lost track of time.

"This is probably the worst place to get lost in," she mumbled as she took another sip of tea.

"I can take care of myself."

"I assume you can, considering what happened earlier."

"Earlier?"

"With Eein and the others...they almost seemed frightened of you."

"Can't imagine why," said Shinji while looking the other way.

Rebecca looked at him shrewdly before saying, "Who are you exactly?"

Before Shinji was able to stop himself he replied, "I honestly don't know."

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"I...don't know why I exist, or what I'm supposed to do."

"And this has something to do with those circumstances?"

Shinji hesitated for a second before he nodded his head.

Rebecca continued looking at him before she threw her arms behind her, and placed her hands palms down on the cold wooden surface of the floor.

"Is it something that you can talk about?" She suddenly asked.

Shinji glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Whatever she had seemed before Shinji started talking to her...well, she certainly wasn't stupid, not to mention rather attractive.

Hesitating for a second, he finally replied, "I suppose its really not something...that the general public is supposed to be aware of."

"Then I wouldn't bother you about it."

"No, I didn't mean to be rude. I just..." Shinji trailed off as he wasn't sure what he was getting at.

Rebecca continued looking at him, slightly curious, though not wanting pry, about what he was involved with.

"You can tell me this much...does it have anything to do with a girl?"

Shinji almost dropped his cup of tea, which was all the reply she needed.

"So it does have something to do with a girl," replied Rebecca with a raised eyebrow.

Turning towards her, Shinji stammered back, "No, not really...I-I mean, theres a girl involved...but she's not like...a center...problem, or anything."

Rebecca suddenly smiled at Shinji's hopeless attempt at refuting how he had acted. The change in her appearance was dramatic, as her smile seemed to throw her entire face into a new light.

"So then whats the problem?"

"I...guess I'm just afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of being alone...of being unwanted."

"Why is that?"

"Because...well, its hard since I just met you, to explain everything, but my childhood wasn't exactly endearing. I moved around a lot, lived with a lot of people. My father was making me do this, he abandoned me when I was young...like around four or something. I hated human contact, still find it difficult to associate with other people for that matter. But now I've become afraid of being useless, because I don't want my life to go back to what it was. I found a purpose in my life, but I don't know why I do what I do. I feel like I'm...living out other peoples dreams and wishes. Where are my desires? What reason do I have to live if all I'm doing is living for other people? I've been confined at a certain...place for a while, and managed to escape just a little while ago."

"Is the person on the card the one that helped you escape?"

"So you saw that?" replied Shinji trying not to sound sheepish.

"Yeah, I just didn't really care at the time."

"The only way I could escape was if I had that card. I had to go through some security check points, and without it...well."

"And its also a debit card?"

"...Yeah..."

"Sounds to me like you got yourself into some pretty bad shit."

'If you only new the half of it,' thought Shinji.

"So, what are you going to do now? Go back?"

"I knew from the minute I left that I'd have to come back, at least eventually, because I couldn't just abandon everybody after everything we've been through."

"And yet you still don't know what to do?"

"...Right..."

Rebecca sat up suddenly and reached for something in her jean pocket. Pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, she put a cigarette in her mouth and was about to light it when she caught the sideways glance from Shinji.

"Sorry," she replied after realizing that his expression was one of annoyance. "Its a bad habit, and I know it is."

"Its fine, I know somebody that smokes at least two packs a day."

"Now thats murder," replied Rebecca with a slight chuckle.

Silence passed between them again until Rebecca said, "And I thought that my life had problems."

"Huh?"

"Look...Shinji. I don't mean to know much about life and what not, but I can tell that you have stuff going on in your life that no fourteen year should have to bear."

"I'm fifteen..."

"Big difference. Anyway...I believe that each person was put on this planet for a reason, and while I haven't figured out my reason, I still believe that. As for you...when all else fails, follow what your heart says."

"My heart?"

"Yeah, its usually more correct then the brain at least. And for...well, whatever you do, maybe its okay to not have a legitimate reason. Its what you feel at the time thats important after all. Are you protecting somebody?"

'If you knew that I was protecting you and all the citizens of Tokyo-3 what would you say?' wondered Shinji.

"Yeah, I'm protecting people."

"Then isn't it enough to know that you prevented there deaths from happening?"

"But its not like that...its different...but I can't explain it without telling you everything."

"Then why not just tell me? You certainly seem like you need someone to talk to."

Should he? Should he really tell a total stranger that he's barely known for twenty minutes the inner working of Nerv? He could almost hear Misato's voice as it yelled at him in his head.

"I really shoul-"

Shinji was suddenly cut off as something that sounded like twenty fire truck sirens exploded into the open air. Sending him down onto all fours, he covered his ears up and tried to cut out the sudden wailing. Next to him, it seemed that Rebecca was doing likewise, though she seemed to understand what it was.

As the wailing subsided, and the ringing in Shinji's ears dissipated, Shinji saw Rebecca hurry to her feet and starting cursing suddenly.

"God damn it! Why the fuck is the damn siren directly above this fucking shop."

"What was tha-" Shinji started asking, though she cut him off.

"Its the evacuation siren. Surely you've experienced this before? God knows they've been opening up the shelters enough recently."

"Shelters...what?"

"Come on! We've gotta move to the nearest one."

"But I..."

'Angel attack,' his mind suddenly whispered to him.

It had to be, there was no other explanation, and without him, they were short one extra pilot.

'Then what should I do?' he asked himself. 'Ignore it? Continue on and act as though everything was perfectly fine. Abandoned everybody that he had come to know?'

Shinji, who had just stepped outside the small shop and onto the pavement suddenly stop dead in his tracks and jerked Rebecca's hand, which had been holding onto his wrist.

"Shinji wha-"

Rebecca gasped as she felt Shinji's arm suddenly go slack in her grasp, and next second his legs gave out from under him, as he fell forwards into her chest.

"Shin-"

Shinji's eyes flew open as he let out a blood curdling scream. Like a tree struck by lightning, his head suddenly felt as though it had been cloven in two and was on fire. Grabbing the spot where the temples where located on either side of his head, he staggered backwards out of Rebecca's chest, and slammed the back of his head into the brick wall of the cafe. A small stream of blood started flowing behind his head now, and some be seen congealing in his eyebrows.

Why now? Why did it have to happen now of all times? But really, he should have expected that. They always came when something he was doing affected the lives of somebody greatly.

A vision struck Shinji so greatly that he had blacked out momentarily, his eyes glazing over. In that short time span of him being unconscious, it felt as though he had seen enough horrible things to right a book on them, when really, in reality, it had lasted no longer then a second.

Tokyo-3 as he had known it, was no more. A giant crater instead stood where Tokyo-3 had once stood, a crater that no meteorite could have caused. Some buildings from the remains of Tokyo-3 lay scattered around the land scape, as though a small infant had picked them up, only to discard them later as it found a new toy. The Sea of Tokyo had filled the vast majority of the large crater, except that it no longer supported any form of marine wildlife; the sea had turned a blood red.

Shinji then felt himself being pulled violently backwards as he witnessed the cause of everything. It had been an angel that descended on them, the likes of which they had never fought before. The AT-field was impossible to penetrate.

Shinji watched as Misato gave the order for the deployment of all the Eva's, though in truth it was only one. The dummy plug was inserted into units 01 and 02, though to no avail. Shinji couldn't understand why unit 02 hadn't responded to the signal though. Eventually Commander Ikari gave the order for Rei's deployment with Asuka backing her up, though it seemed that Misato had to refute that. Even though she was speaking against the Commander, her voice seemed unusually strong, as though she had finally come to terms with something. She told the Commander that under no circumstances was Asuka able to pilot. Even Ritsuko backed up her statement with a brief summary of Asuka's mental health and it clearly stated that any contact with an Evangelion would surely send her into a coma. Eventually Rei was forced to deploy by herself and stall while they searched for Shinji. That had been particularly hard to watch, as the Shinji from this vision had long since died off, figuratively speaking of course.

Rei deployed, and attempted to destroy the angels AT-field, but it had all but proved immune to all attacks. Eventually, she was forced to detonated an N2 bomb point blank in the angels face, but that had proved to do more harm than good, as much of the armor plating of 00 was melted off in the ensuing explosion.

The angel completely ignored Rei and Unit 00 after this and proceeded to destroy most of the armor plating layers that separated Tokyo-3 from the Geofront. Doing this last part exceptionally well, it slowly descended into the narrow hole that it had opened up in the Geofront. Breaking into Central Dogma was now all but too easy, as the minor defenses that Nerv had implemented had never been strong enough to combat an angel. In a last ditch effort to destroy the angel, Commander Ikari had given the JSDF authorization to drop several N2 bombs inside the Geofront. The N2 bombs barely even fazed the angel, since the AT-field completely protected it from any outside harm.

What was probably the hardest part of Shinji however was when he witnessed what happened to Asuka. Misato had given authorization to move Asuka out of the medical facilities and move her into one of the underground bunkers that littered the landscape of the Geofront. If only she had realized the gravity of her decision.

This had been different then Shinji's previous dreams about Asuka, in the sense that this was more gruesome, if that was even physically possible. The hardest part, was that Asuka had been awake and conscious throughout it all, able to feel the pain as her body was ripped apart, and Shinji was able to feel the pain that she had felt.

The underground bunker that she had been moved to, was little more than a small room surround by metal, and in hind site, the metal box that she was incased in produced the hurt and tragedy.

When the angel descended, it continued firing off its AT-field, ripping apart the ground beneath it as though it were splitting the Red Sea, except this gouge in the Earth stayed like that. The pieces of earth that had been ripped apart were flung through the air like a rag dog, tearing trees and small buildings that housed some residents of the Geofront. Part of the earth that the angel had ripped apart, housed the bunker that Asuka was being kept in.

The bunker was completely sheared in two, leaving a gaping hole in the roof. Twisted pieces of metal lay scattered across the floor, and one piece in particular piqued his attention.

Asuka's right arm had been penetrated straight through by the chunk of metal, splintering the bone in the process. Blood boiled to the surface and leaked over the side of the arm and started dripping onto the floor. Asuka let out a loud moan of despair as the pain suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. Attempting to amend the pain, she grasped the end of the metal stake with her left, clenched her teeth, and pulled as hard as her frail body would allow her. She only succeeded in causing herself more pain.

Her vision started to grow foggy from the blood loss, and finally she stood up and attempted to wrench the door open that would grant her freedom. However, it wouldn't budge. Behind the door, the opposite wall and the roof above had caved in and crumbled, creating an affective barrier against her freedom.

Staggering backwards, she turned around and pressed her back against the cold metal door and said in a quite voice that seemed devoid of life, "Is anyone...there? Someone...please! Help!"

Shinji felt completely helpless as he watched Asuka scratch her finger nails against the metal door. The sounds that echoed off the metal walls sounded like a banshee's screech.

Eventually, Asuka slid down the metal door and rested at the bottom of it with her left hand wrapped around the twisted piece of metal that was perturbing out of her arm. Giving an almighty wrench, she attempted to pull it out again, but this time managed to split the palm of her hand open, created a new stream of blood. Soon the floor beneath was covered in bright red fluid, as her body's life force was slowly drained away.

Shinji attempted to turn away from the horrific scene, by he found that his body was simply refusing to obey him, almost as though a supernatural force was rooting him to the stop, forcing him to watch the outcome of a possible decision of his.

With an almighty explosion, Shinji saw a brief flash of orange that he was barely able to pick up as the angel ripped apart the earth again, this time sending up a large cloud of dust into the air. Gazing at the angel momentarily, he saw that what was considered its head had two sunken, gleaming red eyes, peering out of the skull. Next second, another explosion of brilliant orange light flashed outward from the angel, though this time Shinji could have sworn he saw it shoot out of its eyes, as though it was some sort of laser.

Tearing his gaze away from the angel, he looked back to the spot where Asuka had been, only to be surprised that she had vacated her spot, and was slowly plodding towards the new gaping hole in the wall that the angel had created with the second explosion. Asuka seemed to be on the verge of collapsing, as her body's functions started to break down, and it was all she could do to force herself to keep moving. At this point, Shinji had attempted to reach out in his mind to her, determined that because it was her, and because of him possessing angel powers, that he would be able to call out to her. No such thing happened of course, since in all aspects, the Shinji thats decision had led to this scenario, was no longer even present. He had simply dropped out of reality. He had forsaken Asuka because of his own fears, and in doing so, had tossed away the relationship they once had.

As Asuka continued crawling towards her objective, Shinji saw it a split second before it happened, and in what was possibly a last attempt to communicate with her, reached his hand out towards her.

A metal beam directly above where Asuka was crawling suddenly snapped in two, as the bolts holding it in place could no longer contain the strain. The beam pierced her back and sheared through the flesh as it ripped apart her internal organs, before exiting through the other side, forcing her ribs to pop out through her white skin. The beam struck the concrete flooring with a loud 'clang,' as it chipped away some of the flooring, scattering pebbles everywhere. Blood gushed out of her open wound and flowed down the metal beam and onto the floor in a puddle. Likewise, blood surged up her throat before she vomited, pushing stomach bile mixed with blood out of her mouth, which slid down her chin and would eventually cake onto her face.

The only thing that could be thankfully said, was that she felt very little pain, as the beam had ripped apart the right ventricle of her heart and the aorta, killing her within seconds.

Without having a second to think about what had happened any clear than what he was currently watching, Shinji suddenly felt his entire body being jerked backwards as though an invisible hook grabbed the back of his shirt.

Darkness engulfed him and it felt as though he was being propelled down a dark tunnel with no end in sight. With the sleeve of his shirt flapping in the wind and his eyes starting to water from the shear speed he was falling at, Shinji suddenly felt himself hit the surface of something, and next second noticed that his body suddenly felt much heavier as the clothes he was wearing became soaked as they absorbed the large body of blood red water that he had fallen in.

Attempting to claw his way to the surface where sweet fresh air awaited him, he suddenly noticed another presence with him in the watery depths. Turning towards this new presence, he suddenly found himself facing a mirror in all this blackness. Though instead of his own reflection looking back at him, he saw-

"Disgusting isn't it, what one small choice can do," replied the pseudo Asuka.

"Stop it!" Shinji yelled

"Why should I? You don't seem to get it. You don't seem to get the fact what your decisions can lead to. Think of it this way, you are standing on a path, and this path can lead to multiple directions. Within these multiple directions are other directions, and thousands like it. From the very moment you stepped into her world, you have slowly been leading down a path of destruction. You cannot turn away from what awaits you."

"This isn't it!"

"No, it may not be, but something like it is a possibility in the all too distant future. How many angels are left including this one...three...four?"

"I'm human, as human I make wrong decisions."

"But you don't change, and you never will! You keep thinking the same pathetic things. 'Don't hurt me. Don't abandon me. Make me exist. Hold me! Love me!' Such petty human things disgust me so much that I almost wish that you had died long before it ever came to this. But things have, so deal with your problems and stopped winning and complaining to other people about your problems. What does it take for you to realize it? Do I have to rip apart the flesh of somebody near to you? Should I take the form of a human dear to you and rip apart your heart from within?"

The mirror in front of him suddenly changed and Shinji's own reflection was suddenly looked back at him, except this Shinji was different. This Shinji had blood red eyes, and a killing intent that forced people to scatter at his very presence. Behind him lay a torrent of fire and death. Before him lay a skinny boy no more then fifteen who was seeing his other self. His angel self.

"I'm...an angel?"

"No," replied the entity that stood in front of him. "You are not, but you have angel blood flowing through you, as well as your DNA structure which consists of extra chromosomes."

"How did this happen?"

"I can't say, for you are not ready to know. Do not make the same mistake that I made."

"...What mistake?"

"I followed a different path then the one you followed...it led to this ending."

Shinji suddenly found himself witnessing the aftermath of the battle with the angel Zeruel. Death and devastation lay everywhere, bodies where flung left and right, large buildings where toppled, dried blood lay caked on the roads and streets.

"What...happened?"

"I abandoned my human half and completely absorbed the angel part of me. Every human became my enemy...I purged the entire planet of all humans using Evangelion Unit 01 and my powers. Soon the angels will refurbish the Earth and start another rebuilding..."

"Another rebuilding?"

"It is a cycle that has gone on for billions of years. The angels are nothing more then energy beings, and they constantly expel energy in order to create life, life force if you will. At least the majority of them do. The flesh that you see is simply to give them a definable shape.

"Adam and Lilith are special. They alone created humans. Adam hallowed your bodies and created the limbs and bodily functions that you take for granted. Lilith created your souls, and in doing so, who you are as a person. The other angels create life as they see fit. Some are in charge of plants, while others are in charge of animals. Even the very air that you breath was created by us. The Earth had been polluted by humans, or the Lilim if you prefer. They were an experiment, nothing more, but Adam and Lilith saw that they were flawed. They became greedy of what they saw around them and wanted more. They built large factories which expelled great amounts of carbon monoxide and other poisons. The rivers, the lakes, the oceans, look everywhere and you will see the decay of things."

Shinji was speechless as his other self continued its rant.

"I abandoned my human self, and became the non-existent nineteenth angel, which never should have been. I killed everyone and everything and have ushered in a new beginning, but I am still you. No matter how much I despise who I am or who you are as a person, I am still Shinji Ikari, and that wont change. Do not do what I did. You are not ready for the truth of who you are. It will drive you crazy, insane, and you'll kill everyone you hold dear. Even as I killed them I did not feel anything, and yet my eyes still cried. I pulled apart there bodies with the greatest ease and not once did I feel as though what I was doing was wrong. I think I might have even laughed at one point while I killed everyone."

"You are not me," Shinji suddenly said.

"Yes I am! I am the you that diverged on a different path. I am the you that tore Misato's head off with my own hands! I am the you that killed his own father and then bathed in his blood. I am the you that gouged Rei's eyes off and disemboweled her. I am the you that cut Asuka's arms and legs off and proceeded to rape her-"

Shinji suddenly punched the mirror in front of him with all his might. His fist went straight through it as though it had never been there, and from Shinji's perspective it hadn't. It had simply disappeared as though it had been a mirage underwater.

"I am not you," Shinji repeated. "I will never be you. You may look and sound like me, but you aren't. I would sooner kill myself then do that to my friends."

"Maybe you aren't so weak after all."

Shinji spun around under the water and turned to face the pseudo Asuka.

"Did you do that?"

"No...I didn't. That was the subconscious part of your mind trying to draw out your angel self. Quite frankly I thought you would have relented and become the nineteenth angel. As I said, you are stronger than I thought."

"Is what he said true...about the choices he made."

"Yes, it is very true. For you, as a human, decisions are everything. What you decide to do when you wake up in the morning may be crucial to what you will do later in the day. The same concept applies here."

Shinji looked at the thing that resembled Asuka exactly and finally said, "I know I've asked this roughly a hundred times by now...but who are you?"

The pseudo Asuka sighed and said, "You wont know till the end, if you make it there."

"And what is at the end of everything?"

The pseudo Asuka smiled slightly and said, "The Tree Of Life."

"And what exactly is that?"

"You'll know eventually."

"Big help...but thanks anyway."

"The pseudo Asuka seemed rather taken aback and to Shinji, it seemed as though the human it was impersonating let through some very real Asuka like emotions for a moment before she said, "Why the thanks?"

"You helped me...sort a few things out, though in a rather disgusting way."

"Fear works best on you humans, and particularly when it governs that girl that your mind wanders over."

"I wont be able to sleep thanks to this for a week."

"Like you were getting much to begin with locked up in the white room anyway."

"...Then this is it?"

"...Yes it is, and it will be, for I shall not interfere with this anymore. Though I have one last thing I must ask."

"Whats that?"

"Do you understand what your power is, for that is essential for everything that comes after this."

Shinji stood gazing at the pseudo Asuka for a minute before saying, "If the angels are energy beings, and are able to create and manipulate things, there is one thing that they can't manipulate that humans can..."

"And that is?"

"Time," said Shinji simply.

The pseudo Asuka continued looking at him for a minute before saying, "Well its close enough for now. You'll learn more about it in time since you've theoretically awakened with the existence of your AT-field. For all intended purposes I suppose you are correct. Humans can control there own time by their decisions. Since you are both human and angel you can govern yours and other peoples time. But only humans, and those close or dear to you."

"I got it...I think."

"I really wonder about that," sighed the pseudo Asuka. "Anyway, time is getting short and you should get back soon."

"So this is goodbye I guess."

"Until the rebirth of the Tree of Life and the awakening of Tabris...yes...it is."

Shinji nodded and turned his back away from the pseudo Asuka, though he heard her suddenly say something behind him.

"Aren't you going to ask me something?"

"Like what?"

"'...Who am I?'"

Shinji paused for a second before he smiled and said, "I'm Shinji Ikari, and thats all I care about."

Shinji turned and suddenly the darkness disappeared to be replaced with a blinding whiteness that lit the entire space up. As Shinji disappeared into the whiteness, the pseudo Asuka stood still in his conscious mind before it sighed and said, "Maybe he really has changed, and if he has," here her eyes flash a brief scarlet as she whispered, "Maybe he can usher in the rebirth."

Without another word she vanished into a thin wisp of nothingness.

* * *

Shinji's eyes flew open as though he had received a sharp electric shock, and quite possibly he had, since Rebecca had slapped him none to gently across the face. Upon seeing that his eyes had finally opened, Rebecca opened her mouth in apology, but Shinji quickly cut her off. He had to move fast.

"Rebecca how long was I out!"

"I-I don't know, maybe thirty seconds at most."

"Where is the nearest shelter?"

"A few blocks that way," she replied as she gestured with her hand. "But what are you-"

"I can't explain now, I promise I will later. Just go there and stay there."

"What are you-"

"Listen," said Shinji as he grabbed her shoulder in a gesture which was both hurriedly and gentle. "I can't say much about what happened just now, probably never will. But you have to trust me on this, I'm going to go somewhere, do something to help you and everyone. When I'm done I'll come back and see you...and I'll bring a friend if possible."

"That girl that you like?"

Before Shinji even bothered thinking about what she said, he replied, "Yes, I'll bring Asuka."

"So her names Asu-"

Shinji quickly cut her off again by saying, "Not now...Go, just Go!"

Rebecca looked down at his face, which wasn't all that far from hers really and said, "Its a promise."

Bringing him into a one armed hug, she let her hair fall over onto his face and past his shoulders.

"You stay safe Shinji, you're a good kid."

"I'm not a kid."

"No...I don't suppose you are."

Straightening up, Rebecca nodded and said, "I'll make you and this Asuka something special, instead of just grabbing something out of the refrigerator next time."

Shinji nodded and smiled slightly, before he turned around and started sprinting in the opposite direction.

Rebecca watched his retreating back for a second before she too proceeded on her way.

Meanwhile, Zeruel touched down in Tokyo-3 and started the destruction that awaited the city.

* * *

**Very different then what I've done before as you probably see...**


	17. Tragic Reunions

**Part two of my Birthday bash thingy (don't ask!) Anyway refer to chapter before this for important stuff and blah blah blah OH! Right. I'm gonna be working on another amv soon (wow its been almost a year since my last one) and its gonna be SnS (Shakugan no Shana) and if you think about asking whether its YujiXShana or YujiXYoshida I will personally hunt you down and do...well unpleasant things no doubt. Anyway this was finished literally ten minutes ago so its still rough. Later I'll update a version with corrections.**

* * *

Shinji found himself leaning against a lamppost clutching a stitch at his side. He had not realized how far he had actually wandered since he had left Nerv and only now, saw that he was hopelessly lost. Whats more, Rebecca had been quite right in saying that this was one part of Tokyo-3 that you would not want to wander in. Shinji had already had several encounters with what he expected were gangs. One group of guys got the idea that he was some rich bureaucrats son, and attempted to kidnap him. Shinji only managed to get away by convincing them he wasn't, and that if they didn't hurry, all the shelters would be full. Shinji got the impression that they were all high school dropouts, seeing as how they weren't very bright.

He had no idea how much time had passed since he had left Rebecca at the cafe, only that since then, the angel had descended on a different part of Tokyo-3 and was started to wreak havoc.

Breathing heavily while leaning against the lamp post, with one hand clutched against the stitch in his side, the other one he ran along the back of his head. He had forgotten that just before he had his latest vision, he seemed to have accidentally bashed his head on the brick exterior of the cafe. Now blood was caked into his hair and he could feel a sizable lump where he had hit his head.

'Well,' he thought suddenly, 'if this is the only injury I get today, I suppose I'll be considered lucky.'

Removing his hand from the back of his head, he pushed himself off the lamppost, and prepared to run as fast as his body was willing to move the rest of the way to gate three of Nerv.

* * *

Misato wasn't sure what she should do.

It had been hours since Shinji had left the facilities and it was almost like the angel had been specifically waiting for him to leave so it could attack. With one pilot gone, and the other out of commission, there weren't many options that she could choose from. Least likely of them, to ask the JSDF for help. That would bring shame to Nerv, and herself. Rei was able, but Unit 00 arm had not been repaired since the angel Bardiel attacked. Attacking with it right now would be nothing short of suicide. She had sent out a search team when she received confirmation of pattern blue, but that had not been long ago. Shinji could be miles away by now.

Suddenly her phone rang.

Looking at it rather hesitantly, rather afraid that it might be the commander, she finally picked it up and was surprised to find Asuka's voice on the other end of the line.

"Misato, what the hell is going on? Is it an angel attack?"

"...Yes it is, and could you not keep this line busy-"

"Misato?" said Asuka quietly as she cut her off.

"What?"

"Send me out there, I can help."

"No, absolutely not!" replied Misato with such force that Asuka moved here ear away from the end of the receiver.

"Asuka, you are in no condition to pilot, not after what happened at Matsushiro. We don't even know what your mental state will be like if you enter Unit 0-"

"I'm Fine! More importantly you need me to stall until Shinji returns."

"Asuka I-"

"He will return!"

"It isn't a matter of wether he will or not, I still can't let you leave the ward."

"Then I'll deal with it myself!" shouted Asuka as she hung up the phone.

Misato was stunned as she heard the click as Asuka hung up the phone. She could not believe how reckless Asuka was being.

Quickly switching to a different line, she dialed the number that would take her to the nurse on Asuka's ward. As the nurse answered it she was about to give the standard greeting when Misato cut her off.

"Quickly, go to the room where the pilot of Unit 02 is located, she may be trying to leave. Restrain and sedate her if you have to."

After several minutes of worrying the nurse got back on the phone and said that they had gotten to her just as she was leaving the room. She had tried to escape them, but they had managed to sedate her properly. Currently she was resting peacefully in the hospital room.

"What was all this about?" asked the nurse after several seconds of silence from Misato. "First that friend of hers leaves and takes her security card. Now she's all the sudden trying to leave the ward and go back to piloting when she's in no condition. Major Misato...I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds but I have to say-"

"I know nurse...just...keep an eye on her, and let me know when she wakes up. Keep an eye on her at all times. She can...be rather stubborn at times."

"So I've seen," the nurse mumbled before a click signaled her hanging the phone up.

As Misato hung her own phone up, she paused as she thought of a possible idea that Asuka had given her. Quickly punching in the numbers on her phone, she was directed to the science department, and Ritsuko's office.

"Hello, this is Ritsu-"

"Ritsuko, is it possible to outfit Unit 02 with the dummy plug?"

"Theoretically it is, but with what happened with Unit 01 I can't be one hundred percent sure that it will-"

"Just do it, we don't have many options."

"Have you asked the commander?"

Misato hesitated and admitted, "No, I haven't."

"Don't you think-"

"No I don't! We don't have any options left, and if I get canned for this at least I know I tried to alleviate the problem."

A pause over the phone line until finally, "Okay Misato, I'll do this, but as I said I can't guarantee that it will work."

"Just try, I'm out of options..."

"Right," replied Ritsuko as she hung up the phone.

Misato leaned back in her chair and was seriously considering throwing the phone across the room. What should she do if the dummy plug doesn't work? Should she really consider sending Rei out? What about Asuka?

"God Damn it!" she yelled into the open air.

Slamming her fists down on her desk the only thing she succeeded in was splitting the palm of her hand open and leaving a red welt on her other hand. Why now of all times did an angel have to appear, and one as powerful as this. They had received reports that its AT-field was able to destroy an entire city block and leave a gaping crater too boot. What if something like that attempted to invade the Geofront. Could the layers of reinforced steel hold up against something like that? Misato really didn't think so.

As Misato thought of these things the phone rang once again on her desk. She was tempted to smash the thing against the wall next to her, but instead picked up the phone and said in as strong a voice she could muster, "Yes what is it?"

"The angel had just passed the third defensive line that we've implemented. Conventional weapons aren't doing a thing."

'No shit,' thought Misato. 'Its only to slow it down, but that doesn't even seem to be working.'

"Abandon the fourth and five lines then, I don't want anybody else dying if we can't even slow the damn thing down."

Once again her phone line went dead with a click, but this time it took her several seconds to replace the receiver as she continued to hold it against her ear.

"Whats this..."

Water droplets were started to fall on the skirt she was wearing as though she had just stepped out of the shower.

'Ah I see,' she thought as she realized it was her own tears. The incompetence of her actions and the hurt that she had put Shinji, Asuka, and everyone else suddenly welled up in her until they came spilling forth. Whats more...she finally realized something. She didn't care whether Shinji was angel, human, or something in between. She just wanted him to be here and thought of this is what its like to be a mother coursed through her. Without realizing it, she had been attempting to play the part of a mother to both Shinji and Asuka, both of which had barely known there mothers; in Shinji's case almost non-existent. And yet she had hardly been there for them when they truly needed it. It had been one thing after another which she had taken care of, but it was themselves that were forced to support each other. Maybe that was why Asuka and Shinji were both able to trust each other so deeply. But she hadn't trusted Shinji, no matter how much she wanted to deny that fact.

"We need Shinji," she finally said. "We need him because he can make a difference, we need him because he is truly strong, we need him because-" here she paused and after a slight hitch in her breath said, "I need because he's like family to me..."

After reconciling her own feelings for him, she put her head on her desk and cried until her eyes turned red, unaware of just how close Shinji was.

* * *

Whether because of his heightened perception as being partially angel, or because his unconscious mind simply catalogued a good portion of everything he has seen, he was able to recognize specific landmarks and slowly make his way back to gate three of Nerv, but it had taken a long time; an hour most likely.

The stitch that he had had in his side before felt now as though somebody had drilled a wooden stake through his kidney.

Leaning against a building, just across the street from where gate three was, he got the iron taste of blood in his mouth, the kind you get if you suddenly exert your body too much. Swallowing loudly, while trying to rid himself of that iron taste, he looked across the street at gate 3 and suddenly wondered how he was supposed to get in.

Tokyo-3 had been locked down sometime ago, meaning that many things electronic had been shut down, including the automatic steel doors of Nerv that normally only required a card. There was a manual override that he could attempt to access, but unfortunately it required more than one person to use, and he could open the steel door by himself...so then-

He suddenly looked down at his right hand and realized how dumb he was. Clenching it suddenly into a fist he smiled and thought, "I can open it with my AT-field."

Suddenly, as though he had been injected with some sort of drug all feelings of tiredness left him. Straightening up, he quickly walked over to the gate, completely ignoring both security cameras in the process, and planted both feet firmly in front of the door.

'I want it to open,' he thought, 'but I don't want to completely destroy it.'

Eventually settling on how he wanted to go about 'opening' the door he generated a simple, flat, AT-field that was just large enough to admit him through. Finding a point in the steel door which he thought suitable, he pressed the AT-field against it, and applied pressure to it. Eventually the steel door started to give, as Shinji could feel it being forced outwards, into the small tunnel that would bring him to the elevator of gate three. Adding a little more strength to it, he felt the small section where his AT-field was position implode on itself as the metal crumpled like a piece of paper and was forcefully sent flying into the small tunnel. The edges of the steel door that had come in contact with the edge of the AT-field looked as though the had been cleaning cut with a pair of scissors.

With no time to admire the cleanliness of his work he quickly rushed to the elevator and started hammering the down button in frustration. That short minute of waiting almost felt like an eternity.

* * *

"What do you mean it didn't work?" asked an angry Misato. She had finally gotten control of her emotions only to find out that Unit 02 rejected the dummy plug.

"I told you that I was afraid of this happening," replied Ritsuko with a slight edge in her voice. "We got all the way to phase three when Unit 02 realized it wasn't Asuka piloting it. At first we thought it was going to allow it, but something happened with the dummy plug. An anomaly suddenly appeared inside the entry plug and the dummy plug attempted to terminate it. Whatever it was, it crushed the dummy plug. We are just now managing to extract it from the Unit."

"Damn it! I want a better explanation than that!"

"I don't know what happened. The readings went off the scale, the temperature of the LCL fluid went well over the boiling point, and the synchronization was forcefully cut by the Eva. I suppose its a good thing we did this before we tried having Asuka pilot it again, but it almost seemed as though something was controlling it."

Misato let these words sink before she said, "Could this have anything to do with Asuka's-"

"No, it wasn't her. It was very brief, but we managed to get a reading of pattern blue inhabiting the Eva before we lost it."

Misato sucked in a large gust of air at Ritsuko's words. "Are you saying that Unit 02 is infected by an angel?"

"I can't be sure, but until we run more tests we can't let Asuka, or anybody for that matter step inside the entry plug."

"Ritsuko...could this have something to do with the angel we fought the other day?"

"I don't see how. If that angel did in fact briefly possess Asuka, I don't see how it could have moved from Unit 03 with her in it, to Unit 02 without us knowing; plus she hasn't even had any contact with Unit 02 since the accident with Unit 03. No...this was probably a different angel."

There was a rather pregnant pause before Misato said, "Two? Are we dealing with two angels?"

"I don't know. I've had restraints placed on Unit 02 and am monitoring the nerve impulses, looking for anything that should show a sign of activation."

Misato sighed; just one more thing to add onto her troubles today.

"Keep me updated on this Ritsuko...and while I'm at it I'm classing Unit 02 as the tenth angel until I know more about this. If at any time you feel that it is being truly possessed by an angel, I give you the authority to destroy it."

Ritsuko was rather surprised at the sureness in Misato's voice at her own decision but agreed with her anyway.

With that taken care of Misato hurriedly dialed another number and was put through to a Nerv outpost close to where the angel was.

"Whats the status of the angel?"

"It just passed the fifth defensive line and is now proceeding...over the mountains it looks like. Its heading towards the Geofront."

"Whats the status of our defensive forces."

"Poor, if we don't bring in the JSDF we wont be able to formulate a proper defense line."

'Shit,' thought Misato as she bit down on a nail.

"Time left until the angel reaches the Geofront?"

"Time estimated at...ten minutes or so."

"Tch...I suppose I don't have any other-"

Misato suddenly saw a blinking red light flashing on and off on her phone as somebody else was trying to get through the line. Turning back to the task at hand she said into the phone, "If no other options are available I'm going to get the JSDF to drop a bomb on the angel. Evacuate to a safe distance and await further orders there."

"Yes major!"

With that, the soldier hung up and Misato was able to switch lines.

"What is it?"

"Err Major...we just got an unauthorized entry over here, which makes no sense as the steel doors shouldn't be operating, and the manual override is impossible for-"

"What is this? I don't have time for-"

"The security cameras were able to pick up a feed, but its unclear with lots of static."

"Where is this?"

"Gate three, we actually think that-"

Misato suddenly dropped the phone in surprise. Was it?

Hurriedly picking it back up, she scrambled to place the receiver next to her ear and finally managed to say, "What is it! Is it Shinji!"

"We think so Major. We have a picture of the pilot of Unit 01 here, and the camera seems to show an accurate image of him, though it is kinda hard to tell at first glance. Also the camera picked up that same flash of orange that we had seen earlier and-"

The guard suddenly got nothing but a dial tone, as Misato had thrown the phone down and ran out of her office.

* * *

Shinji almost felt that sending the elevator into a free fall would have saved him a lot of time when the elevator suddenly stopped and opened for him.

He stepped out hesitantly, positive that the cameras above had picked up his profile and what he had done. He had almost expected armed guards to be waiting for him with their guns drawn and laser sights trained on him. He was rather shocked that not a soul had been waiting for his return, but then again, he figured that they were all probably too busy.

Stepping out of the elevator, he looked around and saw that the camera he had destroyed earlier hadn't been replaced and had not even been moved out of the way. It was still laying there on the ground, crumpled and broken in a dejected way. Shinji still couldn't believe how powerful his AT-field was, and that he was able to project it over a distance.

Passing the broken camera, he entered the four-way intersection of hallways and was just looking to his left in the direction that Asuka was when he heard running feet coming towards him. Tensing up quickly, he flexed his right hand, ready to project and AT-field in front of him to act as a shield if he had to when he was able to ascertain that the person running towards him was wearing shoes where the heel was raised off the ground, making it almost certain that it was a woman. Relaxing slightly, he continued looking down the middle hallway until he finally saw Misato come out of the darkness.

It seemed that she had ran most of the way there, considering she had beads of sweat dripping down he face.

Shinji was rather surprised to see her, and unsure of what he should say in regards to her presence.

"Hey," he finally said which sounded stupid even in his own mind.

"Hey," replied Misato, thinking the exact same thing as Shinji.

Shinji felt as though he was unable to look at Misato and instead settled on looking down at his feet. Suddenly a loud shock wave vibrated the entirety of the Geofront, though it didn't seem to phase either Shinji or Misato.

Finally Shinji got up the courage to say what he had been meaning to say when he saw Misato again.

"I'm sorry...for leaving."

Misato looked at him hesitantly before she said, "I'm sorry too Shinji, because I didn't believe in you...and yet Asuka did."

"Eh?"

"Asuka held onto the fact that you would return...truthfully I thought that you had really gone. I...feel so ashamed of that thought...I-"

"Misato..."

Wiping her face which was slowly started generate salty tears, she asked, "So, did you come to an understand?"

Shinji nodded and said, "Yeah...I'm Shinji Ikari, and nothing else. As for why I pilot Eva...I honestly don't know still. But I feel that as long as everybody is alive and safe, it doesn't really matter."

"Shin-"

"Is Asuka okay!" he asked suddenly.

"Wha-"

"Is she safe? Is she still in her hospital room? She hasn't been moved somewhere else has she?"

"Shinji she's perfectly fine. A little restless I suppose but fine."

Immense relief seemed to wash over Shinji face as another shockwave rocked the Geofront and this time some of the lights in the hallways flickered and went out.

Realizing that they both had been staying idle for too long, and that they would have more time to talk later, they started heading in different directions, when Shinji turned and said, "Hey, Misato?"

Misato turned towards him with a rather exasperated expression on her face, she asked, "What?"

"Give this to Asuka, I'd like to give it back myself...but." Shinji looked rather forlorn here, almost as though he didn't know whether he would see her again.

Putting the card down on the cold marmoleum floor, he placed a finger on it and flicked it outwards, sending it spiraling in Misato's direction.

As it came towards Misato, she quickly bent down and placed her cut palm down on it so it wouldn't soar past her. However as she stood back up to ask Shinji what he planned on doing, she saw that he was already gone.

* * *

He didn't know what was going to await him during this battle, so at best, he didn't want to have any regrets, but it looked like he might already be having one.

He was torn between his decision of not visiting Asuka first before he left to pilot Unit 01, but something in the back of his mind told him it was best to not see her. If he did...well, he might of had second thoughts about his decision.

He had noticed it before, but never gave any thought towards it and only now noticed what he had felt when he got emotional over the angel Sahaquiel dead body. It was something of a sixth sense he supposed, because somehow or another, he was related to all the angels; he just didn't know how. What he must have felt before was something like an emotional outburst, where the angel part of him was showing remorse at its brothers death and how it had instrumented that death. Now though, his sixth sense was going completely haywire at this angel Zeruel. If he had to describe it, monster would be the most accurate description. Its AT-field seemed to be immensely powerful with almost no weakness in sight.

It was because of this that he didn't want to see Asuka. He didn't want to feel regret of seeing her and getting her hopes up, just to find out that he had died by the angel. But at the same time he was feeling regret in his heart for _not_ seeing her. These conflicting emotions had coursed through him as he had waited in the elevator, but now he felt that his decision of having Misato return it to he seemed like the right one.

As he turned a corner in the white hallways he suddenly came to a halting stop as a large portion of the ceiling had caved in. Apparently the angel had already penetrated the steel layers separating the Geofront from Tokyo-3 and was already starting to rip apart the landscape.

As Shinji prepared to push the debris out of his way with his AT-field, he noticed that somebody that looked like a soldier had been crushed by the ceiling and was leaking blood out from many part of his body. Recognizing the signs of death all to well, Shinji shook his head and crushed the fallen tiles and sheetrock out of his way so that he could move on.

* * *

Obeying what could very well have been Shinji's last wish, Misato entered Asuka's hospital room to return her security card. Asuka was still heavily sedated though and even though her eyes were open, they didn't show that she even recognized Misato.

"Hey Asuka," said Misato as she set the card down on the table next to the bed. Sitting down in the chair which was last sat in by Shinji, she crossed he legs and said, "Shinji's back by the way, just returned a short time ago. He seems to be doing well."

It felt extremely awkward talking by herself in this room which seemed to house only one living person.

"He's going to go fight the angel with Unit 01 now...just thought you should know..."

Misato continued looking at the motionless Asuka who's eyes were devoid of there usual blue color and instead were a murky grey. Finally standing up, Misato walked to the door and said, "I'm sure Shinji will come back so...you don't have to worry about him."

As Misato turned toward the door though, she heard a quiet voice behind her whisper-

"Shin...ji?"

Misato spun around and was surprised to see Asuka looking at her with a blank expression on her face.

"Asuka are you okay-"

"Shinji?"

"Asuka he's-"

"Where's Shinji?" she suddenly blurted out. Her eyes were still slightly glazed over, but they had a certain sheen nonetheless.

"Asuka he's back and fine, but he's going to be battling the angel, so-"

"Then I'm going too," said Asuka as she suddenly swung her legs over the side of her bed and tried to stand up. Instead she tilted to her left and was in danger of falling over as Misato caught her.

"See Asuka, you're in shape to pilot. You're heavily drugged and can barely stand up. How do you expect to pilot if you can't even do this simple thing."

"I don't care I'll mange somehow!"

"Asuka listen to me-"

"I don't want to be useless!" she suddenly shouted. "I want to help him! Let me help him! I don't want to be extra baggage. I want to pilot! I WANT TO HAVE A PURPOSE!"

It was all Misato could do to refrain from slapping her. Instead she settled on grabbing her shoulders and pushing her roughly back down on the bed.

"Asuka Listen To Me!" she annunciated with each word.

Asuka continued shaking her head and struggling against Misato's grasp and it was only until Misato grabbed both of Asuka's cheek with one of her hands and pressed them together that she got her to stop.

"Asuka...Shinji is fine! You should know that better than anybody. You were the only person that believed in him when nobody else would; I myself didn't until just recently."

"I know that but-"

"But what? Is the need to prove you exist stronger than your trust in Shinji?"

"I-"

"Asuka...what do you think of Shinji?"

"I-"

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know damn it! I don't know how I feel about that idiot. I-"

"Asuka...Shinji is fighting, he may be fighting for everybody, but I think deep down he's fighting for you, because he hates to see you pilot the Evangelions. It hurts him to see your entire existence wrapped up in that thing."

"It was my decision-"

"But did you have a choice?"

"Of course I did, I could have done anything I wanted."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

"I-"

"Do you?"

"...no, I don't."

"Why is that?"

"Stop this, I'm feel like I'm being cross examined!"

"I think you need it Asuka, you need to come to terms with your superiority complex, because its not only hurting you, its hurting Shinji also. He can never understand what you're honestly thinking, and yet he still trusts you."

"Thats his problem, not mine."

"Are you truly that selfish Asuka, because I don't think you are? I think that deep down, you're still that little girl who I met on my brief visit to Germany, who didn't want anything but the affection of her parents. They are gone now, and so you latched onto the only person who you felt gave you that same feeling."

"Misato...stop it." Asuka was starting to shake and shiver.

Misato paused for a second before she said, "I suppose I should, I've said enough anyway."

As Misato turned to truly leave, she said, "Realize Asuka that this isn't entirely your problem, its also Shinji's. He constantly questions himself and his own existence as to why he exists. Furthermore I'm to blame also, because I neglected my duties as a guardian and left you two to fend for yourselves when there was obviously a problem."

"Misa-"

"Get some rest Asuka...you look like you need it."

"...Hmmm, I suppose you're right."

As Misato left, she turned the lights off to Asuka's room, and quietly closed the door.

Asuka meanwhile was laying flat on her bed with her eyes open and her hands clasped over her chest. Closing her eyes briefly, she turned to her left so that her back was now facing the door. Opening her eyes again, she bit down on her lips in a pained expression as she thought of what Misato had said.

Rolling back to her previous position, she passed into a fitful sleep filled with memories of Shinji and herself.

* * *

Shinji had to admire the personal of Nerv, even if they had been completely afraid of him until just recently. When he reached the chamber where the Eva's were kept, he found that Unit 01 had already had its entry plug prepared, and was waiting for him to enter it.

Thanking the personal in his heart, he climbed the ladder and dropped down into the entry plug, where it was inserted just below the head of Unit 01.

Settling himself in the entry plug, he inhaled deeply and felt the warmth of the LCL fluid flow through his lungs. He hadn't felt this good in a while honestly.

Just then Ritsuko's voice came over the intercom.

"Shinji...can you here me?"

"Perfectly fine," he replied.

"How do you-"

"Can we save the discrepancy's? I'd be more than happy to let you pick apart my thoughts later but don't I have something more important I have to do?"

Ritsuko pause for a second before she said, "You're right...but before anything else I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Its fine," said Shinji without much emotion in his voice. "And? Where is the angel? I assume its already penetrated into the Geofront."

"Yes it has. It isn't doing much though besides ripping apart the landscape. We had initially thought that it would descend into Central Dogma, but that doesn't seem to be its intentions."

"Then what _is_ its intentions?"

"The destruction of you and Unit 01 I have believe."

"...Great."

"Take elevator shaft two. I'll divert the direction so you'll end somewhere close to the angel."

"Where is it?"

"Sector three."

"Isn't that where the power plant that supplies power to the entirety of Nerv?"

"Well yes...but we have back up reserves if anything should happen."

"...Okay...I'm going."

"Shinji!"

"...Hmmm?"

"Don't die..."

'Now she tells me,' he thought as he had Unit 01 stand up and forcefully remove the binders holding it in place, though he was still touched by her remark.

* * *

As he stepped onto elevator shaft three, he had a moments thought of how his life would have turned out if he had never encountered Asuka or the Eva's, when an all to familiar jerk rocketed his body upwards, as he was sent flying into the Geofront.

Almost as though the angel had been waiting for him, the second that the very ground the angel had been destroying opened up and Unit 01 flew into the open air, it spun around and with an orange flash of light, shot what seemed to be something similar to AT-field, out of its eyes.

Knowing that the combined efforts of his and Unit 01's AT-field wouldn't be nearly strong enough to repel the beam of raw energy, Shinji quickly had Unit 01 pivot in mid air, twisting its entire body around, as the beam went soaring past its right shoulder. Even if he was barely clipped by something like that, Shinji was afraid it might take an entire arm off.

Landing on the ground with a loud crash, Unit 01 crouched towards the ground with the toes of its armor plate feet pointed up in the air, poised to dodge if quickly needed.

Shinji weighed his chances on the best option to choose from. He was obviously inferior to the angel before and even with the might of Unit 01, he didn't feel as though he could break through its AT-field.

The angel named Zeruel made a sudden movement and caught Shinji of guard as what could only be described as arms that looked more like long strips of cloth suddenly shot outwards toward Unit 01. The first one soared over Unit 01's head, missing it completely, but the other passed Unit 01's defenses and stabbed into the armor plating between the collarbone and shoulder.

Shinji felt a momentary pain hit the right side of his body in reaction to the damage to Unit 01, but at least he was able to recognize the opening. Making Unit 01 grab the cloth like substance with its left hand, he forced its right hand up, and easily brought it down as he projected an AT-field, trying to severe the body part from the angel. Instead, what greeted him was an AT-field so strong that the resounding clash between the two sources of raw energy released a shockwave so strong, that the right hand of Unit 01 was suddenly flayed, as though it had been sent through a meat grinder. Of course this affected Shinji also.

As the shockwave ceased, the back lash of the two AT-field clashing sent Unit 01 flying backwards, with Shinji screaming in pain.

Inside the entry plug, Shinji right hand looked as though it had suffered a similar fate, though not as severe. At the last second, Shinji managed to send his own AT-field out, negating some of the damage as he wrapped it around Unit 01's destroyed hand. Even so though, Shinji's right hand was a bloody mess. His thumb and index finger were both backwards in odd directions and it looked like each separate piece of bone in those fingers had been bent in a different directions. Half an inch of his pinky finger had been completely shaved off, and now it looked like he had dipped it in a bucket of red paint.

Unit 01 upended dirt and trees as it went flying backwards, before finally skidding to a halt at the edge of the small lake that rested in the Geofront.

As Shinji shook his head to rid himself of the pain, he felt something in the back of his mind telling him to move. Using Unit 01's back as a brace, he kicked its legs up, pushing the entire body up as he went. He did this just in time as those white arm liked things came soaring toward him. Ducking under the first one, he side stepped to the right, as he managed to dodge both of them.

Running along the shore of the lake Shinji continued dodging the arms of the angel while he desperately tried to think of a plan, but no such wisdom would come to him. Would the Eva rifles work, or did they need heavier weapons than that? Furthermore, could any conventional type weapons even damage the angel?

Forgetting about the situation he was in, he misplaced his footing, and Unit 01 sunk slightly into the soft sand along the shore of the river. If any indication of the angels not being intelligent beings existed before, well, they were all just proven wrong. The angel, taking advantage of Shinji's sudden predicament turned towards him, and with another flash of orange, fired off its beam like AT-field.

Realizing that dodging the full brunt of the damage would be near impossible, Shinji shifted Unit 01's body so that its damaged arm would take the majority of the damage. He didn't even think what would happen to himself.

As the raw beam of energy neared him, he concentrated both his and Unit 01 AT-field around the upper shoulder of its right arm. He was prepared to sacrifice one arm if he absolutely had to, but some part of his mind realized what would happened to his own body, and decide that everything below the elbow was expendable.

The AT-field of the angel completely ripped through the armor and flesh of Unit 01, all but disintegrated it on impact. Thankfully, the combined efforts of Shinji and Unit 01 were able to protect the upper part of the shoulder. White bone now stuck out where the right arm of Unit 01 used to be and gray pinkish flesh could be seen hanging down around the bone.

Amazingly enough, Shinji hadn't felt a thing during it all. His right arm was simply gone. Quite possibly though, the moment that his arm was completely destroyed, his body went into cardiac arrest. His minutes of consciousness were already starting to tick away. Willing himself to not look over at the stub that was sure to be what remained of his arm, he through caution to the winds and charged towards the angel.

More of the cloth like arms soared towards him, but Shinji dodged them quite easily. As he reached towards the angel, he drew Unit 01 left arm back, and threw it forward, generating both his and Unit 01's AT-field in the process in the hope that the combined effort would be enough to force his way through the angels defensive. He had not expected this to happen though.

Suddenly the angels AT-field expanded into several layered AT-fields, all reinforcing each other. Unit 01's fist crashed down on top of the AT-fields, creating a gong like noise as it collided with it. The first two layers were immediately shattered, but Unit 01's fist was stopped against the third layer. As Unit 01's fist was halted against the combined AT-fields, the angels whitish arms suddenly lashed outwards, stabbing into what would have been consider the right lung of Unit 01, and this time Shinji was affected.

Blood immediately spilled from his mouth as his right lung all but caved in upon himself, spilling forth bloody watery fluid into his chest cavity. At this point his vision was starting to get blurry, when Unit 01 suddenly ceased functioning.

Completely confused at what had happened, Shinji thought that that last attack had done something to affect his control over the Eva when he realized that his five minutes were up.

"Damn it! No, that can't be!" he swore.

Grabbing the controls of Unit 01, he willfully shook them back and forth as he repeated over and over. "Move damn it, move damn it, move damn it." Of course nothing happened.

As Shinji continued to wrestle with Unit 01, the angel floated motionless, a few inches out the ground for a few seconds. It almost seemed to be contemplating its next move.

Drawing its arms back suddenly, the angel folded them into what looked like two large cylinders, before it shot them forward, smashing it against the chest cavity of Unit 01. The impact sent the motionless Unit 01 reeling backwards and made more blood spill forth out of Shinji's mouth.

The angel then floated over to the humanoid, now lying on the ground and proceeded to repeatedly pound against the chest cavity of Unit 01, as though it was looking for something. Eventually it seemed to realize that it had to take apart the armor plating on front and changed it arms to the thin pieces of cloth again. Stabbing them forward, the left arm pierced what would be consider the stomach of Unit 01 and forced its arms underneath the armor plating, while the right arm did likewise on the armor plating that would have been protecting the heart. All at once the arms lifted up, and with an almighty wrench, pulled off the armor plating around the chest cavity.

Laying underneath all that armor was what could very well be considered its heart. A large spherical red orb was dead center in its chest and it looked liked the flesh around it had adapted to its presence. Large veins and smalls flabs of skin were intertwining and crisscrossing as they went over the core of Unit 01.

It was at this time that Misato entered the command center.

"Whats the situation Ritsuko?" she asked the moment she entered the command center. "Whats Shinji doing? Is he all right?"

"Pilot life signs dropping," came the voice of one of the computer personal, "pulse dropping, loss of blood reaching critical levels, respiratory systems malfunctioning."

"Send an electric discharge through his body if you have to by using the Eva's nervous system."

"...I'm sorry Doctor Akagi, we can't do that since the Eva has shut down."

"Well do something!" shouted Misato as she let her presence be known.

"Misato...when did you-" asked Ritsuko, but she was quickly cut off by Misato.

"What is going on! What happened with Shinji!"

"Misato...Shinji is in critical condition...he has several broken ribs, a destroyed lung, and his...right arm...is gone."

"Gone what do you mean-"

"You know how strong Shinji and Unit 01's sync ratio is...the angel destroyed Unit 01's right arm, and in doing so, also destroyed Shinji's right arm. Shinji's heart has already gone into cardiac arrest...he only has minutes to live."

"Then get him out of there! Get him-"

"Misato...the commander just ordered a N-2 bomb dropped onto the angels location. Its not expected to destroy the angel...only slow it down."

"What about Shinji?"

"...The bomb will most likely kill him if he isn't dead already. Without the life support systems he wont be able to survive the impact."

"And what about Unit 01?" asked Misato, cold fury flickering through her eyes.

"Its expected to survive, though it'll be heavily damaged."

"AND I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST SIT BACK AND LET THIS HAPPEN?" yelled Misato, her anger finally getting the better of her.

"What else can we do!" Ritsuko yelled back at her. It was then that Misato realized how hard this was for Ritsuko also.

"...I...don't know," said Misato as the full weight of everything crashed into her. And honestly...what could they do?

It was dark, but not complete darkness. It was like the kind that you get when you close your eyes, and yet you're still able to see a faint outline of the room as it was before you closed your eyes.

Shinji tentatively opened his eyes, but his vision was little better with his eyes opened. His eyes had almost completely fogged over and turned a light gray color. Small droplets of blood were dripping down the side of his face, as they leaked out of his mouth.

'Oh right,' he suddenly thought, 'I was fighting that angel and...I think I'm dying.'

Oddly enough, that thought didn't scare him in the slightest. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he never cared whether he lived or not, since his life was all but worthless. A part of him even welcomed death; anything to do away with this empty feeling.

As he closed his eyes again he thought, 'Oh right...my promise to Asuka. Heh, guess I won't be able keep it...'

The majority of Shinji's mind started to drift then, but a part of him felt as though he was forgetting something.

'But no...this doesn't feel right for some reason.'

'Why bother worrying? Give up like you always do.'

'Thats not who I am anymore.'

'Sure you are, you're giving up right now aren't you?'

'No I'll live.'

'How do you propose you do that when your body's completely failing you?'

'I'll find a way.'

'How though?'

'I don't know.'

'See, you don't know, so why don't you give up already?'

'But I need to help the others, they need me.'

'Why? They shunned you and kicked you to the curb. Why should we bother saving them?'

'Because they're important to me.'

'How important? Important enough to wager your life?'

'...Yes, they're my friends and family. I don't want to lose what I've finally found.'

'And what have you found?'

'...Love...'

An electrical surge suddenly hit Shinji as his heart was just about to reach its final beat. His eyes flew open and they were as red as the setting sun. The controls in front of him disappeared along with the seat in the entry plug, and he suddenly found himself in a never ending sea of LCL fluid. The blood stopped flowing from his mouth as the hole where his right lung once was, now had a layer of skin stretched over it. Breathing was still rather difficult, and his breaths came in long drawn out gasps, but they were still his breaths.

Eva reactivated.

Meanwhile Misato and Ritsuko could not believe there eyes as they saw Unit 01 slowly climb to its feet.

"I don't believe this," said one of the female operatives in the command center. The pilots sync rate is over four hundred percent, while the plug depth is well past the danger zone and climbing past the two hundred mark.

"Has Unit 01 reactivated itself?"

"Yes it has...and it seems that Unit 01 jump started the pilots heart with its own nerves. Furthermore a large influx of dopamine is being constantly produced by the pilots brain."

As Ritsuko turned back to the monitor she exclaimed, "Has Yui finally awakened...or is it because of Shinji?"

Misato was none the wiser.

As Shinji floated there in the LCL fluid, he was able to feel the slight changes in movement of the angel. He even though he recognized something similar to a thought process, but now wasn't the time for that. He didn't know how long he would be able to maintain this...he _had _lost a lot of blood.

Making Unit 01 walk forward, the bracers holding the mouth closed suddenly snapped off, and Unit 01 let out a ferocious roar as it charged towards the angel, as though it had a will of itself. The angel quickly deployed it arms, shooting them out towards Unit 01, though Unit 01 was easily able to dodge around them as it made its way to the angel.

Suddenly pulling its left fist back, it shot forward towards the angel and the two AT-fields clashed against each other. The ground beneath the two was pulled up into the air and flung across the Geofront as the two AT-fields came into contact. Large waves started to form in the lake, as the shear wind power generated between the two was equal to a category five hurricane.

Finally, the angel broke off its AT-field, and fired its arms towards Unit 01. This time, instead of dodging them, Unit 01 calming placed its left palm out wards, and generated an AT-field that completely sliced the arms into, spilling blood across the ground. If the angel had a voice, it would have surely been screaming.

Bending down, Unit 01 grabbed a piece of the flesh that it had ripped off and held it up to what remained of its right arm. What happened next could only be considered as high speed regeneration. The bit of flesh that remained on the right arm of Unit 01 suddenly stretched downwards and latched itself onto the large piece of flesh. A large bulge suddenly appeared in the piece of flesh where an elbow would be, and then the piece of flesh expanded as the cells sped up the growth. Fingers popped outwards until what could only be described as a human hand remained.

It seemed that this worked both ways.

Shinji stared in amazement at his regrown right arm, which until moments ago had been nothing but a bloody stub. Turning it around, he inspected all aspects of it. Everything seemed the same, he wasn't even able to tell whether he had lost his arm or not.

Without giving Shinji any more time to examine his regrown arm, Unit 01 charged forward again, its right arm extended this time, and brought it spiraling down through the air. Almost as though it sliced through the air, a sickle AT-field suddenly shot towards the angel. The angel attempted to put up its AT-fields, but it was late as the AT-field sliced its chest cavity open, revealing its own core.

Attempting to quickly remedy the problem, the angel fired off its beam like AT-field. Unit 01 placed both palms outwards and generated a dome liked AT-field around itself, send the beam curving off into a nearby hillside, which next second turned into a cloud of dust.

Before the angel was able to follow up on its attack, Unit 01 took the initiative and charged towards it. Kicking outwards, its right foot connected with the core of the angel, and Unit 01 forced it spiraling backwards. Pinning the angel to the ground, it repeatedly hammered away at the core before it realized that what it was doing was pointless. With eyes narrowed to slits, it brought its right fist back, smashed it against what was considered to be the skull of the angel. Brain matter exploded out the back of the head as the ground was sprayed with blood.

Unit 01 then proceeded to rip apart the rest of the angel as it searched for a certain device, but Shinji couldn't remember the rest of this...as his blood loss finally caught up with him.

* * *

"Do you really think this is smart?" asked Ritsuko

"I'm there guardian...and I trust them."

"Yes but...they're still teenagers. What if it ends up like you and Kaji?"

"I'm hope to God they have more common sense they we did," replied Misato. "I've already said I trust the both of them."

"Emotions run high in these types of situations..."

"While true those two aren't like that."

"Doesn't mean they wont in the future."

Misato was silent for a second before she said, "No it doesn't...but this is now. Asuka and Shinji wont make that mistake. Or are you worried about the possibility of Shinji being able to pass on the gene?"

"Yes theres that also, I suppose. But-"

"You weren't thinking about that," said Misato, finishing Ritsuko's sentence for her.

"No...I wasn't."

"Then what were you thinking?" asked Misato with a raised eyebrow.

"Never mind, its unimportant. I suppose we the most we can do is give them some peace and quiet."

"What do you think about Shinji's...arm?"

"I can't say whether it was because of his connection with Unit 01, or if he has an ability such as that. Maybe he does, and his connection with Unit 01 simply sped up the process, I don't know. I'll be looking for cell tissue though in case his right lung starts to regrow. Until then, he'll be on a respirator unit for a while I suppose."

"Ritsuko, I have to say I-"

"Don't worry about it Misato, its fine, and I know you're sorry."

Misato stood motionless in the hallway for a second as Ritsuko continued walking on. Turning around, she looked behind herself and could just barely see the room where Shinji was being kept in and where Asuka were currently staying.

* * *

There really wasn't much to say she supposed, and in hind sight, it was rather pointless even being here, since Shinji was completely out of it. Even so, Asuka felt like it was partially her duty to be here by his side. He had promised that he would come back and here he was, battered and bruised but still alive. She supposed she couldn't be any more grateful.

Resting her elbows on her knees, she sat in one of those chairs that has the plastic back that constantly bothers your back. If she had known things were going to be like this, she would have asked for a more comfortable chair. For some reason that thought made her smile slightly, and she had to suppress a giggle. Seriously what was wrong with her? Well now that was a rather stupid question.

Shinji was here after all, and currently she felt as though she was floating on a cloud.

Letting out a low sigh she glanced at his sleeping face and thought, 'I guess he's all right when he sleeps. If he just doesn't talk I suppose I could live with him.' Again she seemed to lapse into a fit of giggles

'His face is even somewhat...'

Asuka made a sudden frown as though something nasty had just slithered down her throat.

'God...why am I acting like a stupid lovestruck girl? Idiot...why does he always make me feel this way?'

Tilting her head slightly to the left, so she could get a better look at his face she thought, 'I'm going to give him hell when he wakes up.'

Smiling again, she reposition herself in the uncomfortable chair and attempted to go to sleep.

'Easier said the done...I guess,' she thought.

Straightening back up she looked down at Shinji laying in the bed and thought, 'I wonder what...no...definitely not. Impossible. How could I even...'

A light tinge of pink suddenly appeared on Asuka's cheeks as she thought what the difference between sleeping in a chair and a bed felt like.

Eyebrow twitching slightly from irritation, she decided to blame the whole thing on Shinji. (who wasn't even conscious)

'God this is so infuriating. Why can't I just...'

Looking back down at the bed, her eyes shifted from the bed to Shinji before finally settling on the corner of the bed farthest from Shinji.

'Am I really going to?'

'Why not?' said a small voice in her mind.

'Its disgusting...thats why.'

'Yeah you're right,' replied the voice as though that settled the matter.

'Right thats that then,' thought Asuka before she curled up in a ball and attempted to go to sleep.

* * *

"Fuyutsuki?"

"Yes Gendo?"

"It is time to reveal the Lance of Longinus. Have Rei take care of it. I want no word of this to anybody besides us. Now that Unit 01 has awakened and devoured the S-2 engine it is time we proceed to the next step."

"What about Seele."

"I'll keep the old geezers occupied for now. And while your at it, I want you to have Doctor Akagi get a sample of the pilot of Unit 01's DNA."

"Very well...Gendo..."

As Fuyusuki left Gendo's office, Gendo turned to the window behind his desk and said, "Wait for me, Yui."

* * *

Its a good thing that no security cameras were installed in the room that Shinji was occupying, because then they would have noticed as somebody crawled into his bed in the dead of night.


	18. Small Steps

**...So I don't have internet where I live right now, so updates might come a little less often, just a heads up. Anyway while writing this chapter (which I absolutely love and hope you do to) I realized that it has been over a year since I started this story (actually it was last month but I forgot) I've no idea where the time went but I'd just like to give a big thanks to everybody that has ever reviewed or read this story, whether you've stuck with it since the beginning, or are just jumping on it. Thanks a bunch! **

* * *

Shinji's felt as though his whole body had pins and needles drilled through it when he woke up the day after his battle with the angel.

He was in a room that was devoid of a window, and therefore pitch black without the lights on. As he tentatively opened his eyes, he winced slightly at the pain that hit him, though he wasn't really surprised as he recalled yesterdays events. He supposed that he was lucky to be alive.

Laying with his hands resting at his side, he shifted to his right slightly and paused momentarily as he felt the left side of his body brush up against something. His mind suddenly ceased all other functions as he tried to determine who or what was laying next to him. He sincerely hoped that his mind was playing tricks on him, but had to come to terms with the situation when he heard the soft breathing of somebody sleeping next to him.

Shinji's body suddenly became as ridged as a statue at this sudden realization. Turning his head slightly to his left, he was able to discern the small lump of a person next to him, even in the dark.

'...'

His mind drew a complete blank now. He supposed he could get up and search for the light in the dark, but quite possibly he would end up tripping over something and waking the person up. Even so though, he didn't feel comfortable laying there anymore, so with great care, he swung his legs over the side of his bed and immediately had to hold in a string of swear words as his feet hit a plastic chair and knocked it over.

'Why the hell would there be something like this here?' he wondered.

Carefully placing one foot down on the hard marmoleum floor, he determined that the chair had been knocked a good distance, and brought his other foot down on the cold floor. Pushing himself off the bed, he winced as he drew in a sharp intake of breath, which felt very painful for some reason.

'Thats right, I should have only one lung,' he reminded himself.

Slowly shuffling towards what he figured was the door, he thought that his best bet was to find somebody that could help him with his...problem, as he thought of it. Though as he reached the door and grasped the door knob to turn it, he realized that it had been locked. Swearing quietly, he searched for the latch that would grant him freedom, when he heard soft mumbling behind him.

Spinning around, he squinted towards the shape that was now tossing and turning in the bed that he had recently vacated. Unsure of how he should proceed, he stood motionless in front of the door watching as the nameless person tossed and turned. Something about the simple motion seemed to jog a memory in Shinji's mind, but he couldn't completely pull it to the forefront.

Hesitating slightly, he finally started tiptoeing back to the edge of his bed as his curiosity got the better of him. Who _exactly_ was in the bed that he had been in moments before. Realization hit him none to gently as he reached out a hand to prod against what he assumed was the persons back, only to freeze inches away as he heard a very distinguishable word, coupled with a faint flowery smell. The word uttered was his name of course.

A bead of sweat suddenly formed on Shinji's forehead and cascaded down the side of his face before dripping off his chin and onto the bed spread.

"Asu...ka?" His voice was so quiet that if a breeze had flown through the room, you would have thought he hadn't spoken a word. Be that as it may, he did say Asuka's name, for she was the person that had been laying next to him.

Utterly dumbfounded by something so stupefying, Shinji's hand dropped from where it was in mid air and landed with a loud 'thud' on the bed sheets. Shinji's first question, incredulous as it may be was, 'Okay what happened? And was I awake?'

Well, no, he wasn't awake, at least, he didn't think he was. He couldn't remember a time that he had awoken before this, though it didn't rule out the possibility that he had, and if so, what had happened between them to...instigate something such as this.

'Think,' he told himself, 'if there was ever a time for some serious critical thinking, now was the time,' Nothing came to light of course.

Now becoming more accustomed to the darkness, Shinji was able to pick out the few features of Asuka's face that he could see, and any misconception that it wasn't her, was completely blown away.

Shinji wasn't sure if she had laid down like that originally, or had shifted towards the position eventually, but her face was pointed towards him. He supposed it was a miracle that he hadn't turned that way while he was sleeping. The thought of there first kiss as something as comical as this wasn't too endearing.

It seemed that she had managed to bury herself quite comfortably in the covers as her head was just poking out of the flap of cloth that covered the majority of her head. She seemed to be curled up in a tight ball, and what Shinji had thought was her back, seemed to be her legs, drawn close together at the knees, so as to keep warm. Her eyes were peacefully closed, with her eyes lashes twitching every so slightly as she breathed deeply. To top it all off, her mouth was slightly open, revealing a small glimmer of her white teeth.

As Shinji took all this in, (albeit attempting not to stare too much) Asuka shifted slightly in her sleep again, flipping onto her back now, and pulling the covers down to just below her chin. It looked as though she was a neatly wrapped Christmas present, excluding the bow.

Shinji's eye twitched slightly at what he could only describe as a cuteness hardly found in Asuka. Her normal abrasive behavior had completely evaporated and the annoyed look she almost always wore while she looked at Shinji was gone. Though he had to remind himself that this was because she was asleep. He found it unpleasantly painful to be tested in such a way as this. How was it that he could pilot a giant, twenty foot robot, fight monsters that were bent on destroying humanity, and save the word, yet he got flustered over a silly experience with a fifteen year old girl?

'This is really pathetic,' he thought.

Bitting his lip slightly, he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, careful to ignore the peaceful look on Asuka's face.

He figured he had two options available to him. One: he goes back to sleep and forget this ever happened, and two: wake Asuka up and take a gamble on the events that happen afterwards. Maybe it was because he was trying to change himself, because option one simply felt as though he was running away again, so he decided to stick with option two. A part of him had to admit that, even though waking her up might be a painful experience, he still wanted to hear her voice.

And so, ever so carefully, he gently grasped Asuka's shoulder that was closest to him, and shook it. After several seconds of her not even flinching, he felt that maybe he should shake her a little harder, when her right arm came out of nowhere. Shinji who had been seconds away from letting out a loud shriek, let his breath subside, as he saw that she had merely moved her right hand, and position it over the top of his, which was still holding onto her shoulder.

'Why am I doing this,' he suddenly wondered before he finally called her name, first softly, but much firmer each repeated time. Eventually she relented.

First it was her eyelashes that flickered as her mind seemed to register the noise of his voice. Then the corners of her eyes twitched as they felt the darkness of the room creeping in. Finally after several more seconds of coaxing her, Asuka's right hand finally went to her eyes and started rubbing them absentmindedly.

"Asuka...can you hear me?" Shinji asked slowly.

Her simple response was, "Uhhhhhh..." He seemed to guess that meant yes, though he didn't think she realized exactly who she was talking to yet.

After waiting a few more seconds, Asuka's right hand finally left her eyes, which slowly opened to reveal the darkness. Moving her head upwards slightly, she looked around briefly before flopping back down onto a pillow, which they had thankfully not been sharing.

"Asuka?" asked Shinji again.

He saw her tilt her head towards him in the darkness and heard her say a few undefinable words.

"Whozhat?"

Guessing what she meant, Shinji let out a low chuckle and said, "...Shinji...of course.

"Shinji?" she asked back as if she had never heard the word.

As her eyes started adjusting to the darkness and the drowsiness seemed to leave her, realization seemed to dawn on her and Shinji thought he saw her eyebrows sore into her bangs, while her mouth started opening in a loud gasp, before he managed to quickly say, "Don't scream, it will only make this worse.

Still not understanding what was actually happening, Asuka was under the delusion that they were both back at Misato's apartment and he had snuck into her room while she was asleep.

"What. In. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?" she annunciated with each word.

Shinji stared back at her in amazement and whispered, "I should ask you the same thing. Isn't this Nerv?"

Hissing back at him, Asuka said, "What? This isn't Nerv, its...wait..."

As the events of the previous day came flying back to Asuka, her entire face lit up like a Christmas light and Shinji was afraid that she was going to explode.

"Asuka calm dow-"

"Calm down!" she hissed back, "How can I be calm when I...We...what are you doing here anyway? This is my-"

"_This_ is where I'm supposed to be...as for you," here Shinji's face turned slightly red as he finished, "well...you were next to me while I slept I guess."

Asuka opened her mouth and closed it furiously. "Thats impossible, yes I was sitting next to your bed for a while, but then I got tired and..."

And what? She could vaguely remember the conversation she had had with herself over sleeping in the same bed as Shinji's, but she had won. She had told herself it was disgusting, so why in God's name was she waking up to find herself so close to him that she could almost smell his breath-

At this point, Shinji wouldn't have been surprised if smoke started gushing out of Asuka's ears. Shinji could almost feeling the heat coming off Asuka as she blushed furiously.

"This is somehow your fault," she managed to say in between breaths.

"How is you sleeping next to me my fault?"

"I don't kno-"

Shinji just managed to plant the palm of his hand over her mouth as she was close to yelling her words through the room. Shinji didn't want to think what people would say if they caught them in an embarrassing situation as this.

After several seconds of being glared at by Asuka, Shinji realized that he still had his hand covering her mouth and quickly took it back.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "but I don't think its a good idea for people to...see us like this. Wrong misconception."

Asuka glared at him for a while before letting an indignant, "Hmph," escape her lips, before she rolled over and faced the side that wasn't facing Shinji, and more importantly, causing her to feel as though she had a strong head cold.

After several seconds of silence, Asuka surprisingly broke it.

"So...how do you feel?"

Surprised that she had asked so soon, Shinji turned toward her and said, "Better, I suppose. I wont know for certain until Ritsuko gives me a thorough medical examine though."

"Hmmm? You scared everyone half to death you know. I've never seen Misato in such a state of hysteria when the managed to drag you out of the entry plug. Even Ritsuko was showing remorse. Everyone had thought you had lost to much blood, but it seemed as though your body absorbed some of the LCL fluid as something of a placeholder, while your red blood cells replenished themselves."

"I...what?"

"I don't know," mumbled Asuka quietly, "its just what I heard..."

Shinji suddenly felt very violated at the thought of LCL fluid flowing through his veins.

"What about you," he suddenly asked, "how did you...deal with what had happened?"

Asuka was silent for a minute before she titled her head in his direction slightly. Sighing deeply, she rolled onto her back and started talking towards the ceiling.

"I was out for the majority of everything that happened. I awoke right when they were recovering Unit 01 and I remember thinking, 'where is Shinji?' I felt well enough to walk so I grabbed a shirt and some sweats and made my way to the Evangelion's chamber. When I saw that they had managed to recover you I...well I'm not really sure how to say it. I felt relief I suppose, even thought I didn't know whether you were truly alive or dead, though I guess a part of me knew that you were."

"Whys that?" Shinji asked softly.

"I don't know...maybe because of what you said yesterday to me, about coming back."

Shinji flushed slightly as he recalled his own words.

"And its a good thing that you did keep your promise-," replied Asuka, her tone suddenly growing cold.

Shinji face changed from a light shade of maroon to pale white so fast you'd have thought he had been kicked in the groin.

"-because I would have beaten you to a living pulp and dragged your ass half way around town making you buy stuff for me if I so much as thought you had left."

"...But I'm here," said Shinji, trying to remedy the problem.

Asuka contained her silence as she continued to look up at the ceiling.

"I suppose you are," she said after a few moments passed. Suddenly inhaling sharply, she filled her lungs up to the brim with fresh oxygen and released it as words came spiraling out of her mouth.

"_And..._I suppose that I'm glad you are here."

Shinji's mouth opened slightly in surprise at her words, but it was more the fact that she was smiling when she had said it that shocked Shinji.

"Now then," muttered Asuka as she turned towards Shinji with a slight smirk on her face.

Shinji felt as though a large wave was about to crash into him and was about to take a step back when Asuka said, "Out."

"...Hu-"

"Out," she repeated.

"Asuka wha-"

"Out, or if not sleep on the floor."

Finally understanding what Asuka was getting at, Shinji raised an eyebrow and said, "What? You don't want me slee-"

Asuka's hand came soaring out of nowhere and grabbed one of Shinji's ears, tugging on it painfully. Putting most of his self control into not yelling, Shinji desperately whispered back, "Ow, Asuka that hurts."

"Don't even think of something like that," she snarled back. "Its completely and utterly disgust-"

"You're the one that crawled in here in the first place, and in case you forgot this isn't the first ti-"

If Asuka had been embarrassed before, it was nothing to how she looked now. Her entire face lit up like an overripe cherry. Her eyes grew as wide as a child's does when it sees a large stack of presents under the Christmas tree. Her entire body seemed to draw backwards in surprise at what Shinji said, and if Shinji wasn't mistaken, he thought he saw that her eyes had started to water.

Realizing that he might have said too much, Shinji opened his mouth and reached out towards her to apologize, when she slapped his hand away saying, "Forget it."

Asuka then turned away from him and crawled towards the very edge of the bed, where she was likely to fall off.

Surprised at this sudden turn of events, Shinji sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, wondering what he should do when Asuka said with a slight hint of malice in her voice, "I can't sleep with you sitting on the edge of the bed, so either stay or don't. Just do something damn it."

Taken aback at what she had said, Shinji hesitated for a fraction of a second before carefully swinging his legs up onto the bed, careful not to brush against hers in the process. Folding the covers back, he slid his legs under them, during which he was almost positive that Asuka's heart rate had skyrocketed through her chest at his actions.

'Well this isn't awkward,' Shinji thought sarcastically. 'Just two confused teenagers sleeping in the same bed with the lights off and God knows what time it is in the morning. Nope...every things fine.'

'Like hell it is,' said a voice in his mind, but he ignored it.

Next to him, Asuka was sweating profusely. Why the hell had she said the things she had said? What in the hell had she been thinking at the time? And furthermore, why did she feel like she didn't care deep down. So Shinji had been right about her crawling into bed with him before, but that had been very different. First they weren't even using the same sheets or pillows, she had seen to that herself. Then he had become uncomfortable and left and she had fallen asleep in his room. What would happen now though? Would he eventually become uncomfortable and vacate to the floor? And why the fuck did she feel as though she didn't want that?

Just as she was about to turn towards him and ask him if he had considered sleeping on the floor at all, Shinji instead caught her off guard with his own question.

"Hey Asuka."

"What," she snapped back, not meaning to, but in her surprise she did anyway.

"I know that you don't like this any better than I do, but don't fall off the edge of the bed just because of this..."

Asuka realized what he meant, as both her legs were practically dangly over the side of the bed, while both her arms were almost able to touch the wall on her side of the bed.

"Thats," she started, but Shinji cut her off.

"I'm just saying...we should...share the space."

"Perv-"

"Asuka!"

"Fine, don't complain to me if I push you off your side of the bed though.

Shinji felt her body shift suddenly, and was starting to regret his words when he felt a soft 'plunk' land very close to his back. Next second, her silky hair brushed up against his back, but she seemed to noticed it, and tucked it behind her head. If Shinji were to turn towards her now, his noes would be a mere centimeter away from her back.

Feeling the awkwardness of there close proximity, neither was really sure if a conversation was even start-able at this point.

Asuka suddenly drew in a sharp breath, and let it out all at once as she sneezed. Shinji, without even a seconds thought replied, "Bless you..."

"...Thanks," replied Asuka.

There nervousness suddenly evaporated with this simple action, and if somebody had entered while they had been sleeping, they would have sworn that they had fallen asleep while facing each other.

* * *

The next morning was rather hectic when Shinji woke up. He had momentarily forgotten about the incident with Asuka last night, and thought nothing of it as he rolled onto his other side. Of course he was inches away from kissing her. It took Shinji several minutes to remember everything that had happened...well, what he supposed was earlier in the morning, since he assumed that it was morning by now. When he did though, he felt as though his head was about to explode.

'How the hell had it come to this,' he wondered.

Maybe it was an unspoken thing between them, something that really didn't need to be said. Maybe they had already excepted how close they were to each other, and just took this as another thing that drew them closer. Certainly they felt awkward about it, as any other couple of fifteen year olds would, but it was more the fact that they didn't want to accept how they felt about each other. Neither of them had a clear understanding of what love was, but both of them had felt the feeling of it in there lives.

And so it was that Shinji felt this as he watched Asuka slowly open her eyes.

It was still dark in the room, but not nearly as dark as it had been early in the morning. As Asuka slowly opened her eyes, the first thing that her eyes latched onto was Shinji, since he practically took up her entire field of vision.

Asuka's lips parted slightly as she saw Shinji and she momentarily, (just as Shinji) forgot what had happened earlier in the night. Realizing that his lips were a mere inches away from her own, she scooted to the very edge of the bed, and almost fell out of it.

"What the fuck are you doing you pervert-"

Shinji quickly cut her off by saying, "Sorry, I woke up like this...

Asuka gaped like a fish out of water briefly before she glared at Shinji and said, "You didn't do anything-"

"No, of course not-"

"because if you did I'd have to break that plastic chair over your head."

Shinji recoiled at the threat in her voice, and shrank back to the far side of his own bed. And here he had thought that after the end of last night, things would have improved greatly for them. Asuka though, seemed to have barely changed in the slightest.

"How'd you sleep?" asked Shinji the moment he felt that it was okay for him to venture into that territory.

"Terrible," she replied, "My back aches, my neck is sore, I have a pounding headache, and my eyes are suffering from having to look at you so much lately."

'So in other words,' though Shinji, 'no difference what so ever.'

"This hospital bed sucks," she finished. "I don't know how I managed to sleep on this uncomfortable bed this entire time.

'Probably because you were drugged up half the time,' thought Shinji as he got off the bed, being sure to not give Asuka anything else to gripe about.

With the darkness not quite complete as it had been last night, Asuka had got a bit more of an eyeful of Shinji then she had ever intended...or cared for.

As Shinji stood up, both him and Asuka realized that he had a hospital gown on, the kind that has the revealing flap in the back. As he pushed himself off the bed, the resounded force sent the flap soaring upwards, revealing his naked back and a little more in the process.

Shinji didn't realize immediately what he was wearing, though Asuka certainly did. Her face turned bright red and she felt as though her eyes were about to burn out of her socket. If steam could have erupted out of her ears, they would have.

Stammering heavily, as though she had a speech impairment, she replied, "Shi-Shi-Shin-Shinji..."

"What?" he replied as he turned his head towards her, shifting the flap so that it briefly revealed his hips, and a little more than Asuka cared to comment on.

Yelling much louder than she intended, Asuka cried back, "You disgusting pervert! You're naked underneath that!"

"I am?" asked Shinji as he turned his head to try to look behind him. He thought it had felt oddly drafty back there.

"Yes you are," yelled Asuka back, with her eyes firmly closed now. "So get out of here and change before I-"

Asuka cut herself off mid sentence when she realized what she had been about to say. Shinji raised an eyebrow in her direction wondering what she could possibly thinking. Shrugging his shoulders then, he walked to the door and realized that the latch to open it was much lower than he would ever have guessed last night. Turning his head around, he glanced at Asuka who's head was turned away from him, but he was almost certain that she could see him in her peripheral vision.

"What?" she finally snapped at him.

"Nothing," replied Shinji shaking his head. He didn't think it best to ask why she had locked the door.

Turning back towards the door, he slipped his finger under the latch and lifted up on it. Grabbing the door handle he opened it inward, and almost walked head first into Misato who had her hand poised in midair, about to knock on it.

"Shinji?"

"Misato?"

"Moron," Shinji thought he heard Asuka whisper behind him.

After picking themselves off the floor, Misato gazed back at Shinji and suddenly threw her arms over his shoulders and brought him into a motherly hug.

"Shinji you're okay. How do you feel? Does anything hurt? How is your-"

"I feel fine Misato...really."

"But you..."

"He's completely fine," said Asuka suddenly speaking up from where she was still tangled in the beds blankets.

Misato, just noticing that she was also in the room, parted her mouth slightly in surprise while her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Asuka...what are you doing here, and-"

"Nothing that should worry you," replied Asuka, signaling to Misato that she wasn't keen on the subject.

"...Right," replied Misato after a moments pause, though she would expect a better explanation later.

Turning towards Shinji, she said, "Shinji I know this is rather sudden but we need to run some tests on you-"

"That is no longer necessary," said a voice behind Misato.

Turning around, Misato saw that Ritsuko was standing behind her with a clipboard under her arm and a cup of coffee in the other. Whats more she had a large smile on her face.

"Shinji's lung has regrown itself somehow. Whether its because of some lingering affect from Unit 01 unique ability to regenerate, or Shinji's own physiological make up, I don't know. But the scar tissue that formed over his missing lung originally, seems to have molded in a full working lung."

"How is that possible?" asked Misato. "I thought that certain cells have certain functions that they only regulate."

"Normally yes, but it isn't to far a stretch to assume that Shinji's cells may function differently than the average human though. Don't forget that each cell in his body has a very small strand of angel DNA."

"Can we finish this so I can go back to bed?" said Asuka interrupting the biology lesson, clearly displeased about how things were going.

Ritsuko noticed then, just as Misato had done a little while ago that Asuka was in the room Shinji had slept in. Turning towards Misato, she raised and eyebrow at Misato who's nostrils seemed to be flaring.

"Then if there isn't any tests I need to take, I need to find some clothes...and something to eat."

"Thats the other thing I had meant to tell you," said Misato, "you've been given the day off...you and Asuka."

"Wha-"

"I know that recent events have been rather...trying on the both of you. So today I put in a request for leave time for both of you. No school, no synchronization tests, no on standby in case an angel attacks, just take the day off."

Shinji's mouth opened slightly but he quickly closed it.

"I still need clothes though-"

"Taken care of," said Misato as she suddenly tossed several pieces of clothing that had been slung over her shoulder.

"As for food...well frankly Nerv provisions have been cut short recently with the angel attacks. I'd recommend that you both find something in Tokyo-3 somewhere."

"Both?" asked Asuka speaking up again.

"Yes...both," replied Misato, peering around Shinji to get a better look at Asuka. "Since neither of you will be needed, its best if you just go out and have a good time...together."

The look on Asuka's face was rather skeptical until she finally said, "Well, I suppose I can always have Shinji carry the bags after I go shopping."

'Wonderful,' thought Shinji.

"Great," said Misato. "Asuka your clothes are in _your _room, so if you could go change, Shinji can change right here."

Asuka didn't like the way that Misato had emphasized your, when referring to where she was supposed to sleep.

Sighing slightly, Asuka said, "Fine, I'll get up."

It was then that Misato felt something she should have been aware of, but she was a bit late as Asuka slithered out from under the covers, and Shinji's face turned the color of a tomato.

You had to honestly assume that some force had possessed Asuka's body and mind last night when she had gotten in bed with Shinji, for no amount of alcohol, hormone malfunction, or teenage romance, could have forced Asuka into bed with Shinji...unless it was completely intentional on her part. As Asuka slid out of the covers, it was revealed what she was wearing. She had a short, loose, light blue tang top on that fell just above her waist so that if she threw her arms in the air, it would reveal the smooth skin of her stomach. As she tumbled out of the blankets, Shinji saw that the right strap holding the tang top on her shoulders had fallen down, and was now dangling in a free fall just above her elbow. If the right side of the tang top had fallen just a little more, Shinji would have gotten a glimpse of her right breast. Below was much worse, and it was here that Shinji's eyes had inadvertently darted when her, 'nakedness' was revealed before him. Her underwear consisted of white and blue stripped, cotton panties, with interlacing laces that held the underwear together at her hips. Quite frankly, it looked more like swimwear than anything else.

Shinji's mind drew a complete blank. Since when had Asuka started wearing stuff such as thi-

His train of thought was interrupted however as a plastic chair came hurtling towards him. Asuka, seeing the look on Shinji's face at her lack of proper etiquette, picked up the chair and thought nothing except wiping that look of his face.

Shinji could very well have blocked it, or sliced it in half with a simple thought with his AT-field, but maybe it was because it was Asuka who was trying to hurt him that he didn't even think of protecting himself. Instead, he moved to his left slightly, as the chair went soaring past his right ear. Thankfully, both Ritsuko and Misato had seen what he was doing and managed to get out of the way in time.

Asuka however was not about to relent and with her face the color of maroon, she started grabbing every object within her reach that had even the slightest chance of hurting him, and flung it at him.

"Asu...ka...calm...down," said Shinji, each word said as he dodged flying objects.

"YOU UNBELIEVABLE HORNY BASTARD," she shrieked back at him. "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT YOU FUCKING MORON? THAT I'D SLEEP IN JEANS?"

"Asuka calm down already," said Shinji, trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU HORNY PERVERT?" she yelled back at him as she picked up the lamp side table and threw it at him.

Dodging it easily, Shinji said back while laughing, "Sorry...its just that it was funny and cute of you I suppose."

The air was suddenly devoid of objects bent on breaking Shinji's neck.

"What!" Asuka managed to say in between breaths. "Did you just call me cute!"

"Anything wrong with that?"

"Yeah there is, I don't want to hear something as disgusting as that, especially from you!"

Shinji simply rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever you say. I'll go find a bathroom to change and you can just change here then."

Walking past Misato and Ritsuko who where both gaping like fish out of water, Shinji rolled his clothes up into a small bundle and walked down the corridor, looking for a bathroom.

Asuka blinked, realizing that he was gone as silent fury radiated off of her.

"I'll just go get your clothes then," said Misato, trying to sound casual.

"Whatever," replied Asuka.

When Misato and Ritsuko both left, Asuka bolted upward and closed the door before anybody would be able to peer in and see her like this. Turning around, she sat back down on the bed and put a pillow in her lap where she buried her head in.

'Out of the few days I had chosen to wear that particular piece of underwear, why was today the one day that Shinji had had to see them,' she thought.

Punching the side of the pillow to mold it into a better shape, she let out a low sigh and said quietly, "He thought I was cute though? Don't give me that kind of crap. Stupid...idiot...embarrassing me like that."

Even so, why was her heart beating like crazy, and why did she feel so warm inside?

"Disgusting," she mumbled again before Misato came in with clothes and thankfully, a different pair of underwear. Asuka had a feeling she wouldn't be able to wear these without remembering this painful experience ever again.

* * *

"So where exactly are we going?" asked Asuka, clearly still grumpy about earlier events.

"A place," said Shinji simply.

"And what place is that?" Asuka snapped back at him.

"I found it while walking around Tokyo-3 yesterday."

"And what? You just decided to take me to it?"

"Well...something like that I suppose, though theres somebody I want you to meet also."

Asuka let out a low 'Hmph' and continued walking down the side walk, leaving Shinji trailing behind her.

Shinji let out a low sigh and had to wonder why Asuka's personality couldn't be like the weather right now. Looking up into the blue sky, he had to squint his eyes as the brightness of the sun seared his eyes. Well, he supposed that he was lucky that she had agreed to come along, considering what had happened earlier. He didn't think Asuka would ever forgive him, and Misato would certainly never let him forget about it.

As usual, the clothes that Misato had given him was his usual dark black pants and white button up shirt. Shinji wasn't sure why, but he just didn't feel comfortable in anything else. Asuka on the other hand...

Shinji glanced at her back as she continued walking briskly in front of him, which was strange considering she had absolutely no idea where they were going. Asuka was in a dark blue pair of jeans that...well, highlight her features particularly accurately, in Shinji's opinion. He supposed that Misato had purposefully chosen the pair. Surprisingly though, Asuka was not wearing her normal red shirt, in fact, she wasn't wearing anything red. (that Shinji could see at least) Misato instead, had given her a light blue t-shirt with the Nerv emblem on the back of it. Shinji was surprised by this...strange piece of clothing and it was clear to him that Asuka was not enjoying it in the least.

Suddenly being pulled away from his thoughts, he almost walked straight into Asuka who had stopped at an intersection.

"Well, which way?" she attempted to ask politely, but instead came off rather snobbish.

"Oh...sorry," replied Shinji as he walked past her, getting a faint whiff of the usual flowery smell that seemed to radiate off her. If he had to stand next to her for too long, he was afraid he might pass out.

"Its this way," said Shinji, recognizing a sign that was advertising for some new diet supplement.

Turning the corner, Shinji walked in front with Asuka just trailing behind him. Due to there close proximity, (and the fact that Tokyo-3's sidewalks are rather narrow) their arms kept on bumping into each other to the point that Asuka got so fed up with it that she linked her left arm around Shinji's right arm.

"What are you doing?" asked Shinji the moment he noticed that she had not shunned away from the skin contact.

"Forget about it and just keep walking," replied Asuka with a faint blush on her cheeks. "Or would you prefer I just drag you instead?"

"No, I wouldn't prefer that," said Shinji in a quiet voice.

"Good, then forget about it," said Asuka.

Shinji was slightly bemused at her decision; to any casual onlooker, they looked like a couple.

* * *

Maybe half an hour later, Shinji finally stood where he had the day before: directly across the street from where he had met Rebecca yesterday. As they had sunk deeper and deeper into the slums of Tokyo-3, Asuka had started to get mildly curious about where Shinji was taking her.

"Thats it?" she asked while looking across the street at the small cafe.

"Yep, thats it," replied Shinji.

"Looks like a dump."

Shinji turned to look at her with a hurt look on his face, as though he had been insulted personally. Seeing the look on his face, Asuka hurriedly said, "Well it does...I mean...its not the sort of place I'd ever consider eating at. Besides," here she looked around at the abandoned buildings that littered most of the street, "I can't imagine they get much business."

"C'mon," said Shinji slightly annoyed at her response.

Cupping his hand in her own, he started making his way across the street with her in tow.

He wasn't sure what he should expect as he opened the door to the cafe, though it looked as though nothing had changed. Everything was in the same place, including that terrible painting of the coffee cup behind the counter.

As Shinji walked up to the counter, he was starting to wonder if Rebecca had not come in today, when she came out of the back room with a book in her hand. She looked much the same as yesterday, except that today she had her long, dark hair, tied back in a ponytail.

No doubt because she had heard the chiming of the bell ringing above the door, she had come out of the back room, expecting to see Eein and his thugs wanting their cut of the day. What she didn't expect was to see Shinji standing precisely where he had been yesterday, when she had still thought he was a spoiled rotten child who had gotten into a fight with his parents.

She stood there for a second, rather stunned that he would appear before her so soon when his face broke into a smile, and ignoring the person a step behind him, she threw herself over the counter and brought him into a bone crunching hug.

"Shinji!" she yelled both happy and surprised at his sudden appearance.

Behind them, the corners of Asuka's eyes twitched slightly.

'What, first name basis already?' she thought suddenly feeling angry. Slowly her eyes trailed over the person who's name she did not know, comparing herself to her in the process. She didn't like what she saw. How old was this chick precisely, because she was a good four or five years older than Asuka herself. And then their was her...chest (Asuka refused to think of the other word) and the fact that it was pressed firmly against Shinji. The mere thought of this made Asuka feel like destroying every breakable object in sight. Looking down at her own features, she suddenly felt outclassed.

Shinji may have sensed the cold fury that was slowly starting to emit off the angry girl behind him, because he quickly untangled himself from Rebecca's surprisingly strong grip and stood back from her.

"I told you that I'd come by again," replied Shinji.

"I know but...I didn't think it would be this soon. I hadn't really expected you till like...next week, or something."

"Are you going to introduce me or not?" asked Asuka feeling left out and extremely grumpy.

Rebecca, just noticing Asuka said, "You must be the girl I had heard about...Asuka right?"

Asuka raised an eyebrow and turned towards Shinji with her hands folded in front of her chest and said indignantly, "How is it that she knows about me but I have absolutely no idea who she is, and furthermore, what have you been saying about me?"

"I had intended to keep it a surprise," mumbled Shinji almost inaudible.

"Big surprise that you failed," said Asuka sarcastically.

As Rebecca looked from Shinji to Asuka her impression was grossly different than what she had expected when Shinji had briefly mentioned Asuka last time.

"I'm sorry, but you caught me by surprise, so I'm not really sure what I'll be able to make-"

"Don't worry about it," said Shinji hurriedly, "two Cola's will be fine for now."

Beaming at him, Rebecca hurriedly retreated in the back room for glasses that she normally kept on hand for people she personally knew, leaving Shinji and Asuka to find a seat. Needless to say, the tension in the air was so strong you would have difficulties cutting it with a knife.

Finding a seat by the window, Shinji and Asuka sat down across from each other, with Shinji lounging back in his chair, while Asuka crossed her legs and planted her chin in the palm of her hands in clear irritation.

After several seconds of this, Shinji finally spoke up.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," replied Asuka, making it quite clear that something was definitely wrong.

"But you seem...angry at something. Is it still because of earlier...I mean, I meant what I said, about you being cu-"

"It has nothing to do with that," said Asuka tensely, still remembering the unfortunate events of earlier."

"Then what is it-"

"Figure it out yourself," she snapped back at him.

Shinji winced at the tone in her voice and gaped back at her, confused at her sudden coldness towards him. Closing his mouth, he suddenly felt irritated in turn, and turned his head towards the window, determined not to look at her face...which he'd been sneaking glances at most of the way since they left Nerv.

As Rebecca came out of the back room, she immediately could tell that something had happened between the two, considering that she didn't hear any talking. She had assumed that they were at least very good friends, if not dating, but she was rather surprised at the coldness they were showing towards each other.

Walking up to the table they were seated at, Shinji put both glasses down on the table and asked, "Is anything wrong?"

"Not at all," replied Shinji and Asuka at the same time.

Rather taken aback, Rebecca was forced to bight down on her tongue to express her opinion at how stupid they were being. If she had had somebody special in her life, as both Shinji and Asuka did...well, she'd like to hope her life would have turned out differently.

Grabbing a chair from a nearby table, she spun it around and planted it on the ground, so that she sat next to both Shinji and Asuka. Sitting down on it with the back of the chair in the opposite direction, she spread her hands across the cool plastic, and rested her chin in her hands.

After several seconds of silence from both of the stubborn teenagers, Rebecca threw caution to the winds and dived into conversation with Shinji.

"Are you going to tell me what you were doing yesterday? I've heard plenty of rumors by now...but I'd prefer to hear it from your own mouth."

It took Shinji a second or so to remember what she was talking about, during which Asuka shifted her gaze away from the window and stared at Rebecca out of the corner of her eye. Why was she loathing this chick more and more by the second?

"Oh that...right," said Shinji, finally remembering his promise to her yesterday.

"So are you going to...you did promise."

A vein pulsated in Asuka's forehead. 'So he promised _her_ something too?' she thought spitefully.

Shinji hesitated for a second before saying, "What exactly have you heard?"

"A lot really, though I've no idea how much is true. From what I've gathered, you are involved with some organization called Nerv, which has some surface dealings, but what its really done has always been kept hidden in the shadows. You hear a lot of strange stuff in this part of town. Anyways, it seems that something has been attacking Tokyo-3 and thats why the shelters have been opening so often recently. I heard that many times, people had tried to get footage of these things...but every time they did the JSDF would silence them and destroy the footage. I'm guessing that you, in some way, have helped to defeat these things."

Shinji was rather surprised at how close she was to the point, she just didn't know the finer details. It reaffirmed what he had thought before of her having strong critical thinking skills.

"And I'm guessing that you fit into this somehow Asuka," Rebecca said, turning towards her, "because you're an employee of Nerv also."

Asuka narrowed her eyes and asked, "How do you figure that?"

"Because Shinji used some card with your picture on it to buy a sandwich here before, so I'm guessing that you also work with Nerv."

Asuka blinked several times to show her surprise at Rebecca's deductive reasoning. Though she had not heard anything about Shinji buying with her security card that she had lent him. Turning towards him she mouthed, 'What is this about you buying stuff before?'

Shinji shrugged as though it didn't matter right now and turned back to Rebecca. Asuka was extremely annoyed at his obvious disinterest in herself and turned back to facing the window, determined to block out the conversation next to her.

"Well...I know I had said I would tell you everything later...but really its not something the general public should know about," said Shinji meekly.

"Can I really be considered part of the general public considering I've met both of you, and I know that you had something to do with what happened yesterday?" said Rebecca stubbornly.

"A little help Asuka?" said Shinji, turning towards her.

"...Oh? So now you want to talk to me?"

"...Whats up with you today? Ever since we got here you've been rather-"

"I don't care whether she knows what we do or not, but leave me out of it," replied Asuka sourly.

Shinji waited a second longer, hoping that Asuka would change her mind. When she didn't, Shinji let out a low sigh and said to Rebecca, "Fine, I'll tell you."

"Good," said Rebecca.

Standing up, she spun the chair around again, this time so that her back could rest against the back of the chair. If she was going to hear what Shinji was going to say, she may as well be comfortable.

Folding her arms in front of her chest, she crossed her legs in a way that Shinji was reminded briefly of Asuka. Pushing the thought to the side before it could take a firm hold in his mind, he opened his mouth and said, "I suppose that I should first tell you what the Evangelions are."

Rebecca blinked and asked, "Evangel...what?"

"I don't really know myself," said Shinji, "but they are giant robot-no...thats not quite right I suppose. They have flesh and blood so its closer to call them a cyborg I guess."

"So they are humanoid?"

"...I suppose its the closest you could call them. Anyways...we pilot these things called Evangelions."

"We?"

"Me, Asuka, and another named Ayanami Rei."

"Why though?"

"...Well, there are these...things called angels...why we call them that I'm not really sure. They attack here because of Lil-some reason." Shinji caught himself before he had let slip about Lilith. Even Asuka didn't know about the fact that an angel was buried beneath Nerv, and Shinji didn't think it wise for her to know.

Changing the subject, he said, "You know what Second Impact is of course."

"Yeah, thats when a meteor hit the South Pole and turned much of the ocean red, killing off marine life."

"Its not true," said Shinji bluntly.

"What! What do you mean not true!"

"Thats just something that world governments have fed to the general population. In truth, Second Impact initiated because of a science experiment that involved contact with an angel. The experiment...went wrong and the angel went on a rampage, destroying the scientists there and laboratories. What the angels are trying to do now is something similar. They want to start Third Impact, and recreate a new Earth without any harm from human beings, or at least, thats what I've been told."

"So then you...defeat these angels with the...Eva thingy's?"

"Yeah..."

"But why you...why Asuka?"

"...It has something to do with children born after Second Impact...brain waves I think."

"So then I couldn't help could I," mumbled Rebecca, more to herself than to Shinji.

"Why? Were you born before Second Impact?"

"Yeah, just four months before it happened."

"You should be thankful that you don't have to. Piloting them is a rather...gruesome experience."

"You sound bitter..."

"...I suppose I am. Our lives are changed because of the Evangelions so much that normal living is not possible...even if this all ends. We are always having to do tests with our Evangelions."

"Do you have your own?"

"Yeah, we each have our own that is uniquely for us. None of the others can pilot mine, and I can't piloting any of the others."

"...Then what happened yesterday, when you seemed to faint?"

Asuka perked up slightly at her question and turned her head a fraction of an inch towards Shinji.

Caught off guard momentarily, Shinji hesitating before saying, "That was...something different...not really important."

Attempting to change the subject, Shinji instead asked, "But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you seen Eein at all since yesterday?"

"No of course not. I had momentarily thought it was him when you two came in so I was rather hesitant to come out of the back. I'm not sure what he'll do considering what you did yesterday."

"And what exactly did Shinji do yesterday," asked Asuka suddenly speaking up, still staring blankly at the window.

Rebecca and Shinji both looked at each other here. Shinji shrugged his shoulders, meaning that if Rebecca wanted to she could tell Asuka what had happened. She would ask him later about it anyway, if she didn't get an answer now.

"Well," Rebecca started, "Shinji came in looking sorta lost and ordered a Cola and two sandwich's. I wasn't having a very good day so I was rather...pissed at him I suppose without really meaning to. I remember he asked me what I was reading and we talked shortly then...just small talk. Then Eein and Gonzo came in and-"

"And who are these two?" asked Asuka.

"...You could call them something of my bosses I guess, though not in the normal sense. Eein considers me his property."

"So what...you're like his bitch or something?"

"Asuka!" retorted Shinji angrily.

"No its fine, she technically is right," said Rebecca. "My mom has a condition and I basically work for Eein to help pay off the debt I owe him. He comes in usually once a day and collects any money that I earned that day."

"That sucks," said Asuka, idly twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers.

"Yes it does, but I love my mom too much to give up on her. Anyways, Eein and Gonzo come in and like usual ask me whether I got any money, because they only care about cash. Shinji of course used your card and Eein got mad and started threatening me like he does sometimes. He wasn't in a very good mood that day either and, well, wanted me to pleasure him."

"Like what...sex?"

"Err, not quite, he never went that far, but he'd always want me to do...other stuff for him, though it usually never came to it."

Asuka couldn't help but shiver at the way Rebecca had said usually. She was reminded briefly of her own experience with a sex offender.

"At this point Shinji got...mad I guess."

'And with good reason,' thought Asuka.

"But he...I don't really know how to explain it...he threatened them I think."

Asuka's eyebrows soared into her bangs. "What? He threatened them?"

"I think...they backed off, but I remember that the air felt...hostile. It wasn't directed at me, but I still remember how Eein's henchmen looked...they were scared, really scared, as though Shinji could have killed them if he had wanted to."

Throughout this story, Shinji was calmly looking out the window, as though he didn't care how it ended.

"But they left and Shinji seemed to relax...I felt terrible at that point, because he had to see something like that, and because I think they _would_ have done something if he wasn't there."

Asuka's mouth was slightly agape as Rebecca finished telling her story. Closing it with a snap, she fiercely turned towards Shinji and snarled, "What did you do!"

It took Shinji a few seconds to shift his gaze away from the window, but when he did, he looked into Asuka's clear blue eyes.

Repeating herself again, Asuka said, "What did you do!"

"Nothing," replied Shinji calmly.

"Shinji if you...if you-"

"I didn't...not again...I don't want to."

Relief seemed to wash over Asuka's face and if Rebecca hadn't been there she probably would have hugged him. She was afraid that he might have used his AT-field, even with the way Rebecca had described everything. She couldn't stand it if he was taken away again for more experiments. She'd probably go insane.

Propping her head up with the palm of her hand, she suddenly became thirsty, and gulped a large amount of the Cola down.

Shinji who had remained tensed while telling Asuka he had no intention of using his AT-field on another human again, suddenly relaxed and grabbed his own glass of Cola, intending on draining it.

As Rebecca looked from both Shinji to Asuka and back again, she finally asked what she had been wondering for a while now.

"Um...I've been wondering about this but...but are you guys like...dating?"

Cola spewed forth from Shinji's nostrils at her question, spewing snot and sugar water across the table. Likewise, across the table, something similar had happened to Asuka. She had swallowed a large gulp of Cola as Rebecca had asked her question, sending some of the Cola down her Trachea instead of her Esophagus, causing her to cough violently.

Seeing that she had obviously asked the wrong question, Rebecca quickly said, "Sorry, I just thought that you were, since you seemed to get along so well."

"What? With this idiot?" said Asuka in between coughing.

"Sorry," repeated Rebecca, "but it seemed like you could have been...so I asked."

"Not a chance...never in a million years," said Asuka stubbornly.

"I don't think I could have survived this long if we were dating," said Shinji, wincing at the feel of his nose.

A nerve twitched in Asuka and she was suddenly grabbing Shinji across the table and yelled, "You don't think you'd be alive if we were dating!"

"If this right here is any indication...no, probably not."

Asuka's eyebrow twitched slightly, but she let go of Shinji shirt and sat back down.

"Hmph, your probably right, we can't even get along properly anyway."

Rebecca looked from Shinji to Asuka, wondering how both of them could be so stupid when there was obviously a connection between them.

"I still need to go shopping," said Asuka suddenly.

"What do you mean still? I thought you decided you didn't want to-"

"I changed my mind, I've got a few things that I need to get. Besides, its not as though I need you with me or anything. So you can stay here and keep chatting for all I care."

"...Then you know how to get back without me?"

"Of course," said Asuka stubbornly.

"Okay then...I guess I'll hang out for a while longer with Rebecca. Do you want to meet somewhere or-"

Shinji cut himself off when he saw the hurt expression on Asuka's face. Seriously...what had he done to anger her in such a way?

"Asuka wha-"

"Forget it," she snapped back at him.

Standing up promptly, she spun around, her hair whipping across her face, and walked out of the cafe without another word.

Shinji meanwhile, was left sitting in his seat, wondering how the hell everything had turned so shitty in the last few minutes.

"What exactly just happened?" he asked to no one in particular.

Rebecca was silent as she stood up and grabbed what remained of Shinji and Asuka's glasses. Walking around the side of the counter, she dropped them into the dishwasher built into the wooden surface next to the sink.

Turning around, she saw that Shinji had budged an inch since Asuka left, nor gave any sign that he intended to go after. It was this, more than anything else, that made her voice her opinion.

"You really should go after her."

Turning towards her, Shinji asked, "Why? She obviously doesn't care whether I'm there or not."

Rebecca let out an audible sigh and walked back around the counter. Sitting back down in the chair she had recently vacated, she said to Shinji, "I know that you've never been good with other people Shinji, but can't you see that what she said isn't what she really wanted."

"I hardly ever know whats true when it comes out of her mouth. I don't even know why she's been so angry ever since I got here-"

"For God's sake Shinji, she was jealous!"

It took her words a few seconds to sink into Shinji's mind, but when they did-

"You've gotta be kidding me," said Shinji, trying his best not to laugh. "Asuka...jealous? Why?"

"Why? Because of me obviously!"

"You? But still why?"

"Shinji what do you think me?"

"What do I think of you?"

"Do you like me?"

"...Well yeah..."

"Then do you love me?"

Shinji didn't even have to think of that.

"No, I don't."

"How did Asuka view our relationship?"

"...How am I supposed to know?"

"Exactly, you can't know. She may have thought that you loved me or something. I can't imagine that she's had to contend with other females before anyway. She saw me as a...nuisance, in case you didn't realize it, nor did she like how easy it was for us to talk to each other, as though we'd known each other for a long time."

"Still thats-"

"_Thats_ how girls think. She saw me as an obstacle, and the fact that I'm more mature and older didn't help her view of me. Shinji, let me ask you a question...how many girls do you know?"

Shinji was rather taken aback at the question but was about to count off on his fingers when she changed the question.

"That are your age."

"Um...there's Asuka of course...Ayanami...and Hikari I suppose, though I don't know the later very well."

"So Asuka has never had anybody to serious contend with from the sounds of things."

"I'm still confused...Asuka doesn't really...I mean...jealous? Thats not really her."

"Its not surprising for her age...jealousy is fairly common."

"But why...wouldn't she have to...like me...or-"

"Can't you see that she does!"

"She has an odd way of showing it," retorted Shinji.

"But she does still."

"I think you're making things more complicated than they are."

"And your stubbornly dumbing them down to your level of social expertise."

That one hurt, and Shinji could feel it.

"Sorry," said Rebecca hurriedly, "but it bothers me how stubborn both of you were. I feel that...if maybe I had somebody in my life that I could have trusted and cared for...well maybe things would have turned out a bit different." She said this while gesturing around at her current environment.

"Look," she continued, "I can see that not only you, but she too has stuff buried deep that she doesn't want to talk about. Maybe you've heard some of it, maybe not, I don't want to know. Point is, is that you both have something to lean on when you're hurt or troubled. Accept it...for there may come a time when it is no longer there, and you will start to long for it."

Shinji was silent for a while as he churned everything over in his head.

"So? What are you going to do?" asked Rebecca as she placed her hands on her hips.

Wordlessly Shinji stood up and muttered a brief thanks before hurrying out the door.

Rebecca stood still for a moment or so, and watched as Shinji started running in the direction where he hoped Asuka would be.

"If they don't end of together, I swear I'll make them both sit through counseling, even if I have to do it myself."

* * *

Shinji didn't have to go very far until he saw Asuka leaning against a brick building with glass window panes.

Skidding to a halt, he bent over with his hands placed on his knees and started breathing laboriously.

"So you came back," said Asuka as though he was a disobedient dog who had just returned to its master.

"Yeah...I...Did..."

"And why is that?" Asuka asked with a snarl, "didn't I say that I didn't care whether you were with me or no-"

"But I want to be with you!" Shinji shouted out into the open air.

Asuka literally turned into a frozen statue at his words and if Shinji had known, a pleasant shiver started at the top of her spine, and made its way down her back.

"What did you say?" she managed to whisper.

"I-I don't know...it just doesn't feel...right, if we aren't together. So I want to be with you."

"And what about Rebecca huh? Do you want to be with her also?"

"Asuka its not like that with her...it never was."

"Then what is it hmmm?"

"She's like...she's like an older sister to me."

Asuka blinked back at him, surprised at his choice of words.

"She's like a sister to you?"

"Yeah, somebody who's older than me, who knows more than I do and somebody I can ask for help or advice when...something I don't know is bothering me."

"I don't believe you!"

"Asuka...are you jealous."

"Jealous...me? As if!"

'Then why did you feel so angry whenever Shinji and that girl were talking to each other,' asked a voice in her mind.

'Shut Up!' she shouted back.

"Then what was wrong back there? Why did you leave so suddenly?"

"I didn't like it there. The Cola was watered down and the atmosphere sucked."

"Asuka!"

"What damn it!"

"Why are you being like this!"

"I'm not being like anything!"

"Yes you are, you're angry at something which has no basis."

"I'm not mad!"

'Yes you are,' replied the voice in her mind.

'No I'm not!'

'You didn't like how easily they got along. You didn't like that they had been able to talk so easily with each other, while you and Shinji are still rocky to this day.'

'Shut the fuck up!'

'You were annoyed!'

'Shut up!'

'You hated it!'

'Shut up!'

'You were jealous.'

"IS IT SO WRONG FOR ME TO HATE IT!" Asuka yelled into the open air, completely catching Shinji of guard.

"IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO FEEL ANNOYED! IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO FEEL JEALOUS!"

"Asuka," said Shinji attempted to stop her screaming, but was brutally cut off by the next sentence.

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES ABOUT ME! NOBODY ELSE DOES! MY FATHER, MY STEPMOTHER THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME! I HATE THE FEELING OF LONELINESS. I DON'T WANT TO EVER FEEL IT EVER AGAIN. I DON'T WANT YOU TAKEN FROM ME!"

"Asuka, I'm not going anywhere," Shinji attempted at a normal volume conversation.

"LIAR! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS WHEN YOU HAD BEEN CONFINED AT NERV! EACH DAY WAS A STRUGGLE! EACH DAY I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO CONTINUE WITHOUT YOU THERE! EACH DAY WAS...Each Day Was...each day was..."

Asuka's words slowly sank into a dull whisper.

"Asuka, I told you, it was never like that with Rebecca, and I'm not leaving yo-."

"Why! Why is it like this!"

"Asuka wha-"

She suddenly crashed into him with her full body weighed, sending him reeling backwards onto the hard cement sidewalk.

"Asuka what are you-"

Her fist pounded against his chest.

"I hate this feeling," she whispered.

"Asu-"

'I HATE THIS FEELING!" she yelled as she pounded her fist against his chest again, angry tears streaming down her face and splashing onto Shinji's shirt.

"I hate it, I hate it, I hate it...but I cant get rid of it damn it! Why? Why do you always make me feel so-"

Shinji's index finger pressed against Asuka's warm lips, affectively silencing her rant.

"Asuka...stop please, you're crushing me."

"I don't care about that right now," she retorted through half closed lips. "I don't care about angels, Evangelions, or if the whole fucking world explodes right now. Right now...all I care about is you and me."

"Then can you please get off me already?"

"No...not until you promise me something."

"What?"

"...That you'll never look at anybody else..."

"Asuka thats rather hard to-"

"Of the opposite sex! Do I really need to spell it out for you!"

"Even so...oh...I get it."

"You're mine and mine alone...nobody else's."

"Then does that go for me also?"

"What? Of course not...I'm still free after all."

"Fine, great, can you get off me now? I think I bruised my spine."

"Shinji!"

"What!"

It was then that Shinji realized just how serious Asuka was about this as he looked back into her sky blue eyes. He wasn't sure when it had all happened, but he supposed that it had been coming on for a while. They were both just to stupid to accept it earlier.

"Promise me you wont leave...ever...I can bear everything else...but I can't bear losing you again. Not to another person, not to laboratory experiments, not to death."

"My spine..."

"Shinji...please. I know I've asked much from you...but this, this one thing..."

At that point, the pain in Shinji's back suddenly disappeared, leaving a warmth he had never felt. Propping himself up on his arms, he looked Asuka in the eye and said, "I promise never to leave you, nor look at any other woman...is that good enough?"

"It'll do," said Asuka thoughtfully. "Though you didn't word it very well...it sounded like some wedding vow."

"It felt like one," said Shinji blushing slightly.

"You better keep your word...if not I'll-."

"Kill me, yes I know."

"Correct...now I suppose I should get off you...my legs are starting to hurt anyway."

"Ah...wait a minute Asuka."

"What?"

Asuka blinked and Shinji had moved so fast that she was now looking partially down his shirt and the other part was looking at his chin.

"Huh?" she thought as she felt Shinji's warm breath against her forehead, parting her bangs slightly.

"Shi-Shin-Shinji...what are you-"

Asuka's optical nerves shut down completely as Shinji's lips made contact with her forehead, and her entire body suddenly shut down shortly after that. Every nerve in her suddenly felt the huge electrical shock surge through her body as her brain registered the fact that Shinji's lips were touching her skin. If smoke could come out of ears from a fried brain, they would have here.

Shinji softly pressed his lips against her forehead, and parted them slightly, inhaling the flowery scent that he was so accustomed to...though this time it was overpowering, and he felt his mind slipping. Trying to ignore the burning sensation in his stomach, he felt that he could no longer sit up as such, and let his body go falling back to the earth. Well, he thought that he had surprised Asuka mightily well at least, and sure enough when he looked up at her, still straddling his waist, she looked like an overripe strawberry. He couldn't imagine he looked much better though; his face felt incredibly flushed.

"So..." said Shinji trying to sound as though nothing had just happened, "you can get off me now."

Silence was greeted at his words.

"Asuka...are you going to get off or-"

"Shinji, y-you j-just...k-k-kiss-"

"...Yeah, I did. So can you please get off-"

The shock of what Shinji had done seemed to be too much for Asuka to handle, and she leaned like a drunk to her left and slid off of Shinji's waist.

"Oi Asuka! Are you okay?"

"Of course not you idiot," she managed to mumble back. "You just...for no reason...bothers...me..."

"Well, I don't know about the no reason part but-"

"Forget it," mumbled Asuka, sitting upright with her legs crossed blushing furiously. "It was just because of the moment...so I'll forgive you for it."

'Are you sure you didn't enjoy it?' thought Shinji silently to himself.

"So are you still planning on going shopping?" asked Shinji.

"...No, I don't think I ever intended to...I just...wanted to spend some time with you today...just the two of us, since we hardly get this chance now days."

"...Then where should we go?" said Shinji standing up and holding out his hand to Asuka.

"No clue, some food first I suppose," replied Asuka, accepting Shinji's gesture and placing her hand in his.

Shinji effortlessly lifted Asuka to her feet; she was really quite light.

"Hmm...I think I have a place in mind," said Shinji.

Asuka narrowed her eyes slightly in suspicion, "It better be good, for making up what happened earlier."

"You're saying you don't like Rebecca?"

"No I like her, but I don't like the fact that you two seemed so close."

"So you were jealous?"

Asuka muttered something unintelligible, which Shinji to mean she didn't want to talk about what she had said recently.

"So where is this place?"

"Where I used to live before I met Misato. Its a ways away, but it is good...italian food."

"Like I'll believe the Japanese even know how to make italian...but whatever, lead the way I suppose."

"Hmmm, okay then."

Strangely enough, since Shinji had lifted Asuka to her feet, their hands had not parted.

* * *

Gendo stood in his dark office, flexing his right hand and examining the way the new skin had flaked over the old. The dead skin cells were already starting to flake off, and he didn't know how long he'd be able to maintain his new right hand; the decay had already started to set in. After all, his body wasn't fit to contain an angels DNA. However...soon he would be reunited with the one he loved. But things were becoming more complicated. Seele was bound to interfere soon, as they have started to look into Shinji's back history, and then unconfirmed rumors of the fourth child being selected had reached his ears. The Eva series was nearing its completion, while Unit 01 had finally consumed the S2 engine...and yet something seemed amiss. Things had not gone completely the way his design of fifteen years had predicted. Almost as though some outside interference was changing the way things were meant to be.

'Lilith and Adam?' he thought silently. 'The harbingers of death and rebirth...'


	19. Continuation

**Longest chapter so far...phew. After that last one I was in such a great mood that I wrote this one a lot faster than I intended. On another note...THANKS FOR THE 100+ REVIEWS. Seriously though, I never thought this story would ever become this popular. Thanks a bunch to everybody who's given me support over the years. I'm hopefully finishing this by summer (I'm literally praying for it) because I'm so excited about the sequel, but of course I can't start that until this is finished. On a side note in response to Edopt90: As I was working on that last chapter phrases from Re-Take were coming to me, and I remember deleting some stuff because it felt _too_ similar to Re-take. Be that as it may I believe I do get some of my inspiration from Re-Take, having the entire series sitting in a folder on my desktop. Its a fabulous story and any fan of AsukaXShinji should check it out.**

**Okay I'm done...start reading.**

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but this place isn't so bad," said Asuka as she stabbed another piece of chicken with her fork.

...That was rather an understatement

Her and Shinji were sitting outside the Italian restaurant that Shinji had mentioned earlier. At first Asuka was rather reluctant about eating there, never caring much for Italian food. Though after they entered, and the aroma of rich garlicky food entered her nostrils, she quickly changed her mind.

The weather reflected there moods towards each other, which was significantly better than it had been in recent months. As such, they had decided that eating outside would be a nice change.

There was a small tile patio behind the restaurant in the shape of a small rectangle. Around the outer edges of the patio, a large hedge had been raised off the ground, supported by a brick layer all around the edges, with soil to hold the hedges in place. Small pockets of flowers lined the hedge rows around where Shinji and Asuka sat.

The table they were sitting at was made out of pine, while the chairs with the wooden backs were likewise made out of pine. Shielding them from the harmful rays of the sun was a large umbrella that completely covered the circular table, creating a sort of cocoon like environment that only Asuka and Shinji were present under. The tablecloth that adorned there table was simple cotton, with pictures of grapes placed sporadically around each other with increments of seven inches between them.

Not knowing specifically what to order, Asuka had left the decision up to Shinji and had been afraid that she would be regretting it. Her worries were unsubstantial, as the chicken Fettuccine Alfredo was quite good. Shinji had order some sort of spaghetti and meatballs, with ground up basil cloves sprinkled around the spaghetti sauce. She had an idea that no matter what he would have ordered for her, she would have enjoyed it.

"German food isn't the only thing in the world you know. Honestly, I don't see how you haven't gotten tired of all that fatty food yet," replied Shinji to Asuka's earlier comment.

Considering that they were on relatively good speaking terms, Asuka decided not to rebuke him for the fatty remark.

"Then do you hate Japanese food or something? You never seem to really stick with one thing."

"No, I've just tried many different types of foods and sorta built my own taste. Also, because of how much I used to move around, I ended up eating out a lot since I never had much of an opportunity to cook."

"So you consider it lucky that Misato is such a bad cook?" asked Asuka, inserting one of many jabs about Misato's cooking.

"Well, I won't deny that it wouldn't be such a bad change to have someone else do the cooking for once." Shinji said this with a subtle hint directed at Asuka.

"...What you want me to cook more often or something?" asked Asuka getting the meaning behind his words.

"...I can't deny I'd enjoy it...and not just breakfast."

Asuka thought about this for a moment with her arm propped up on the table and her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

"I'll think about it," she said eventually. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to remind myself a few things now and then. And I can also show you how to make a proper German dish."

'Wonderful,' thought Shinji silently, meaning both good and bad.

"But as for then and now," said Asuka turning back to her plate, "why haven't you ever cooked something like this?"

"...I figured you'd never eat it."

"Well before this I might not have...but I can't imagine your cooking is better than this."

"...Thanks"

"Anytime," replied Asuka heartily.

"So then what happens after this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...what should we do?"

Asuka paused here for a moment, but her mind went back to something she had said before, and she figured that since they had left Nerv, she had silently been thinking of this.

"I'm gonna take you up on that offer you made."

"What offer?"

"The one where I make you take me around Tokyo-3 and buy anything I want."

"...I'm fairly certain I never agreed to something like that...at least conscious. And I think that was something you just decided on the spot."

"Either way," Asuka paused and looked across the table into Shinji's eyes, "Consider it compensation for worrying me to death...and...about earlier." This last part was referring to her emotional outburst, which she still seemed somewhat embarrassed about. Some of the things she had said...well, they were things that she had kept bottled up for a while.

"So then its like a...date?"

Normally Asuka would have thrown herself across the table and strangled Shinji for even using that word in a sentence when it involved them, though she was in an unusually good mood right and simply said, "If thats what you want to call it, then sure its a date."

The fact that she had accepted it as something like a date completely threw Shinji a right hook, stunning him momentarily.

"Okay then," he said, trying to grasp control of the situation, while throughout it all Asuka was watching him silently with strange expression on her face. It was almost expecting.

"Then...what exactly did you have in mind for this..." Shinji still couldn't bring himself to think of it as a date.

"No clue," said Asuka idly. In truth, she just wanted to spend time with him, and frankly didn't give a damn where and what they did, as long as they were together.

"...Well there is the aquarium I suppose. I've heard its got some pre-Second Impact animals from Antarctica there."

"Where is it?"

"From here...a few miles I think. We can get a cab I guess or-"

"No, we walk," said Asuka, interjecting her own thoughts into the conversation.

"You sure? It might take us some time so-"

"We walk," replied Asuka stubbornly, slight irritation showing on her face.

"...Okay then...if thats what you want. But don't expect me to carry you if your feet start hurting."

Asuka let out an indignant, "Hmph," and looked down at her sure to be cold food now, her appetite slipping.

Dear God didn't he get it? Or did she have to write it down on a piece of paper for him?

'How did I end up stuck with someone like him?' thought Asuka moodily.

"Hurry up and finish then," she said, clearly becoming annoyed. "Its already past noon and I'd rather not be back at Nerv around midnight."

* * *

Ignoring the prospect of mousse chocolate cake for desert, they paid for their food and started walking in the direction of the museum.

They walked side by side, and to any normal passerby, looked like two teenagers simply enjoying the rare chance to see even a glimpse of the sun. To the two of them however, what they were doing was far from what they considered normal. Neither could help but steal glances at the other if they thought one was looking the other way, though when there eyes met, they became briefly flustered and tried to pass it off as random occurrence. If this had happened once or twice instead of ten times, the random occurrence explanation would have made sense.

After what felt like at least a mile, they were both starting to sweat openly, with the hot sun beating down on the backs of their necks. The temperature had to be pushing ninety at least, and Shinji momentarily felt that rain water would have felt extremely good when Asuka pointed out an ice cream parlor across the street.

"We really shouldn't," said Shinji quickly. "I don't know how much longer it'll take us to get to the aquarium, nor whether it will take time to get in."

"But it'll be cooler in there," said Asuka as she grabbed Shinji's hand and started tugging him across the street. "And I feel disgusting with all this sweat."

'It was your decision to walk,' thought Shinji silently, though Asuka gave him a look as though she had read his mind.

"C'mon...it beats standing out here and arguing about it in the baking hot sun."

'She does have a point,' a voice in Shinji's mind replied.

"Alright," said Shinji relenting to Asuka's request.

Inside the ice cream parlor was much cooler as Asuka had predicted and it looked as though they weren't the only ones with the same idea; a large group of people were clustered around the small shop, taking up so much space that Asuka and Shinji had to practically fight there way to get to the front counter.

"One strawberry vanilla for me...single scoop...and...Shinji what do you want," asked Asuka as she turned her head towards him, a slight smile threatening to part her lips. Shinji had to suppress the tingling feel in his stomach then, as her actions were so unlike her that they made his head hurt.

"Err...one vanilla for me, and single scoop as well."

"Coming right up," replied the cashier who looked as though he was about Rebecca's age.

Fighting there way back through the crowd, with their hands linked this time, they made there way to a small table at the back of the shop and sat down.

"We really shouldn't just sit here and eat these like this," said Shinji before he started licking his ice cream.

"What? And let it melt outside? Not a chance," replied Asuka who had already started on her ice cream.

For a second, Shinji couldn't help but gaze at her, unable to look away from the cute face she made as she ate her ice cream. To Shinji, it was like a blessing from the gods. To think that he'd be happily sitting here with Asuka, acting as though they were normal, and eating ice cream. He half expected the front door of the shop to explode outward and a scattering of bullets to come pounding through the windows. It felt too serene.

"Whats up?" asked Asuka when Shinji still hadn't started his ice cream and she was already half way done with hers.

"Just noticing how weird it is to be out here...with other people I suppose. Its almost like we're...normal."

"Really? I've never had that impression before."

"Just seeing all these people around...I guess we are just a small part of the world when you think about it."

"Well of course, there's something like ten billion people on the planet."

"No I know...just that what we've been doing with Nerv...I wonder how much it affects other peoples lives, not just inside Tokyo-3...but outside of Japan."

"Why worry about it?" asked Asuka almost bored. "We have a job that only we can do, while other people have a job that only they can do also. Its pointless worrying about what tomorrow might bring."

"No...I suppose that you're righ-Isn't that Touji and Hikari over there?"

Its a good thing that the shop was so crowded and so many voices were echoing off the walls, because Asuka spun in her chair so quickly that the sound of the legs screeching against the floor sounded like fifty nails on a chalkboard.

Shinji didn't have nearly the same reaction as she did, and found it rather comical that she was so intrigued by this so suddenly. Even so, he couldn't help but wonder what those two unlikely people were doing sitting across a table from each other. Then again, him and Asuka were doing the same thing so he supposed it wasn't his place to speculate.

"Its about damn time," whispered Asuka to herself more than ever, though of course Shinji had no trouble picking it up.

"Whats about damn time?"

Looking back at him, Asuka didn't see the harm in telling him...so she did.

"Hikari has liked that idiot for a while...why I can't possibly imagine, but it looks as though they've finally gotten together."

"Touji and Hikari? I don't know...doesn't seem like a very likely pairing."

'And yet here you and I are, talking with each other,' thought Asuka.

"Hikari's been slowly making advances on him, making his lunch and what not. I guess she finally called him out today."

Shinji paused for a minute before saying, "So...how long exactly was I gone from school?"

Asuka did her best not to laugh but ended up failing miserably.

"So are you going to walk over there or not?" asked Shinji.

"What are you stupid? Of course not. I don't even want them to know that we're here." Little did Shinji know, her words held a double meaning.

"Then lets leave...I was never one for ice cream anyway."

* * *

Back outside, the sun had not relented it scorching hot mercy on the residents of Tokyo-3 and Shinji and Asuka were now subjugated to those same harmful rays.

"I know I was sick of all the rain we'd been having, but this burning hotness is just ridiculous," complained Asuka as she fanned her face with her hand. Shinji on the other hand simply smiled and decided not to comment. The sun gleaming off Asuka's bright red hair was about as blinding as directly looking at the sun.

"How much longer is it?"

"I've no idea...just know where its located is all."

"How can you know where it is if you've never been there?"

"I've passed it many times before."

"When you used to walk a lot?"

"Yeah...and I remember that I had wanted to visit it at least once...with my father actually." Shinji even surprised himself by saying this and his face darkened slightly at the thought of his father.

Asuka couldn't help but notice the change in his face and asked, "You really hate him, don't you?"

"...Yeah, I do...for everything."

"...I suppose it must be hard...knowing that he's so close but so far away."

"...Not really. I got used to his absence so much after my mother died that sometimes I completely forgot about him."

"Wish I could have done that," mumbled Asuka quietly in reference to her own father.

Shinji's face, if possible, darkened even further at the mention of Asuka's father and his teeth clenched together tightly. He supposed that even after Asuka had left her father for college, there was still that shadow of him constantly there in the back round of her life. Though he supposed he had permanently put a stop to that.

"Lets not talk about that right now," Shinji whispered.

Asuka, in response to his whispered response, decided to remain silent and drop the topic altogether. Fathers weren't something that either of them had ever had.

They walked in silence for the majority of the rest of the time, glancing at each other every so often in hopes that the other would start up a conversation. Ironically enough, during this time of silence, they felt that they were becoming closer to each other...in a physical sense. There hands kept on bumping against each other as though both their bodies were telling them to take action of some kind. Of course neither were really able to accept that innate feeling that they were sharing.

After what felt like hours, and gallons of sweat shed, they finally found themselves standing in front of the cool shade of the entrance to the aquarium. There was a small line at the front of the entrance with a ticket booth on either side of the entrance so the line would move quicker. The entire buildings was rather large, while a small cloth like canopy streaked with green and white stripes jetted out from the front entrance, under which Shinji and Asuka were standing. The outside walls were painted a dark blue while posters of marine animals were plastered all along the walls like at a movie theatre. Shinji found the whole presentation rather stupid, as though there was some Broadway show going on in there.

As Shinji thought this last bit, Asuka turned to him and asked, "Err, this is the right place...right?"

"I think so," replied Shinji looking around as though expecting to see a sign that said, 'yes this is an aquarium.'

"Well lets go then," said Asuka.

The line quickly shortened, and in all most no time at all, Shinji and Asuka found themselves at the ticket booth.

"Just the two of you?" asked the ticket handler when they walked up to the booth.

"Yeah," said Shinji. "Ten dollars right?"

"Five for kids and teenagers yeah...unless wait, are you guys a couple?"

Before Asuka had even a chance to retort angrily, Shinji interjected in front of her.

"...Why?"

"Discount," the guy responded in a gruff voice as though this was common sense. "Normally its ten dollars, but if you two are a couple I can knock off two dollars."

"Whys that?" asked Shinji, hesitating slightly as he could tell that the girl standing beside him was starting to fume angrily.

"Its the special of the day. Sometimes its a discount for old people, sometimes for married grownups with their kids, today its for teenage couples."

"We're not-" Asuka said hurriedly, though Shinji cut her off.

"Yeah we are."

"Eight dollars then."

Shinji nodded and wordlessly handed over his Nerv card, during which the ticket handler glanced at it and snorted slightly, not understand how the kid how gotten a debit card such as this.

Tearing apart two tickets, he handed them to Shinji who in turn passed one wordlessly to Asuka.

"Just continue on through and make your way towards the right...there'll be arrows pointing you in the direction you should take for full exhibit. If you want brochures there are some before the first exhibit, and theres a gift shop at the end of the-"

Asuka had long ago dragged Shinji wordlessly towards the entrance, leaving the ticket handler rambling on in a business like tone.

After getting far enough in the aquarium, in which a faint blue color could start to be seen dancing off the walls, Asuka pushed Shinji against a black concrete wall so hard that Shinji thought he had thrown his back out.

Snarling at him hatefully, Asuka said, "What exactly was that all about!"

"What?" said Shinji innocently, knowing full well what she meant and knowing that he would have had to deal with this when he had said what he said at the ticket booth.

"You know damn fucking well what I mean! Us being a couple? The hell is this shi-"

"This is a date...which you yourself even said, and besides it doesn't matter whether we are or not because we only got a discoun-"

"We are not, and who cares about the stupid discount! Nerv pays off our cards every month anyway!"

"Give it a break Asuka, that guy obviously thought we were a couple anyway so-"

Asuka's face got so close to Shinji that he was afraid at first that she was going to head but him.

"We are not a couple, nor will we ever be one!"

Shinji was silent for a moment. Did he himself think they were a couple? Well maybe the constantly arguing part, though admittedly, they had shared some rather heartfelt moments with each other.

"Okay then I get it," said Shinji hurriedly. "But you didn't have to get so upset about it."

"I'm not upset," said Asuka indignantly. "Its just stupid," here her voice started to get quieter and quieter as she continued saying, "to think that you and me...being a couple...and-"

She suddenly had a mental image of herself and Shinji stepping out of a Nerv owned vehicle on there way to dinner. Shinji would get out first wearing a tuxedo and turn to her and hold out his hand for her. She would take it and slowly step out of the car and the light would fall on her. Her fiery hair would be tied back and twisted into a tight bun at the top of her head. Her lips would be rosy red and possibly preparing for the evening. The dress she would be wearing would be blood red with laces at the hem of the dress and her hands would be adorned with white gloves. Shinji would hold out his arm and she would take it and together they would walk up the red carpeted stairs into the lobby of some fancy restaurant with a gold chandelier and-

If this was what alcohol was like, than Asuka would have been considered way over the limit as her entire face lit up like the color of the dress she had been imagining. Shinji didn't even seem to notice her lapse in reality as he had already started walking ahead of her.

Asuka placed both her hands on her face in an embarrassed gesture that together with the rapid blush that was spreading across her cheeks, would have been too much for Shinji's mind to handle. Simply put...it was beyond cute.

'M-me a-and Sh-Sh-Shi-Shinji?' she stammered in her confused mind. 'Impossible, we can barely even get along properly to be considered friends.'

'But you care about him,' said another voice in her head.

'Of course I do...but not like that. Never like that...'

The voice in her head didn't bothering responding back, as though it knew how pointless the conversation would end up.

Trying to look as though she wasn't momentarily distraught by her daydream, she started walking faster to catch up to Shinji, who had just plucked a brochure off the wall they were mounted on.

"So what does this place have exactly," she asked in a tone that she felt was relatively passive.

Shinji glanced at her briefly before flipping through the brochure.

"A lot really."

"...So?"

"...You'll see."

"Moron," Asuka said annoyingly.

Shinji simply smirked and led the way towards the exhibits.

* * *

Arrows pointed them further into the museum, during which the faint blue color started to get more profound until they were standing at the top of some stairs that led down into a wide expanse of a room. Along the right hand side of the wall were large tanks filled with water filled with an assortment of rightly colored fish. As Shinji and Asuka started descending the stairs, they looked above them and saw that another aquatic tank was embedded right into the ceiling above them and housed more colorful fish.

Asuka opened her mouth with surprise at the sheer largeness of this one room. If she was correct in her reckoning, most of the apartment complex they lived in with Misato would have fit quite snugly into this one room.

As Asuka was visibly showing her surprise, Shinji said, "This first room is filled with nothing but fish from the Great Barrier Reef...or whats left of it I suppose. Apparently after Second Impact, many coral reefs died off because of the vast change in ocean temperatures."

Turning towards him, Asuka asked with a raised eyebrow, "How do you know that?"

"This thing," said Shinji waving the brochure in front of her face.

As Shinji waved it in front of her face, Asuka made a quick swipe for it with her right hand, but came up empty as Shinji was too fast for her.

Visibly angry at his childish ways, she turned away from him, her brightly colored hair flowing behind her, and stalked off to the far tank on the right side of the room.

Shinji wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt like laughing. He had to agree with her though, because he was also being absurdly childish. But he felt that he was acting partly because of how she had reacted earlier with the whole couple thing. I mean...maybe it was because she had refused to even think about it, because quite frankly, he wasn't _able_ to think of anything else.

Sighing heavily, Shinji started plodding along the right hand side of the wall, examining the tanks as he went, but always making sure that he kept Asuka in his peripheral vision.

They were distant from each other for a while after this, both a little embarrassed at how they had acted.

After the room with the brightly colored fish and the dancing blue lights, the next room couldn't have been more different. When they each walked into the next room, it was first apparent that they weren't walking on the blue carpeting from the previous room, but some sort of reinforced glass. Underneath them, were two baby dolphins that were probably about a fourth the size of an Evangelion's arm. Shinji had to wonder though...how enjoyable it was to have thousands of people starring at you every day while you swam around in something little more than a prison.

Even though both him and Asuka didn't speak to each other about this, they both glanced at each other as the confirming what they each thought. What exactly was the entertainment value in this? It was downright cruel is what they thought.

They didn't stay very long in the dolphin room, and briefly passed through the next room which housed a single great white shark. They didn't like the idea of thousands of razor sharp teeth mere feet away from them.

The next room...well wasn't really a room. After the great white shark exhibit, the tour continued through to the next exhibit which happened to be outside. The sun was still high in the sky, but after being in the dark with no light but that eerie blue glow, ninety-six degrees felt pleasant.

The outside exhibit was much larger as you would expect. As you left the shark exhibit, you would step into the sun, while the carpet had all but disappeared, being replaced with white concrete, porous with many holes. Following the concrete path, you'd walk around in a half circle while a black railing on the right hand side would prevent you from falling over the side and into the freezing water. In the middle of this pool of water was a large structure, designed to look as though it was a large block of ice, though it was the same concrete that you'd been walking on. Situated around this structure, and shooting in and out of the water were of course penguins.

As Shinji walked up to the railing his first impression was one of surprise. He knew about Pen-Pen of course, but he didn't think that he'd see other penguins.

As Shinji continued watching, a penguin shot out of the water in front of him and did something like a somersault in front of him. Shinji couldn't help smiling as he thought about Pen-Pen's reaction to this.

Glancing to his left, he saw that a wall of people, some of them couples, separated himself from Asuka. A frown passed over his face as he wondered how much longer this silence was going to continue between them. He wanted to talk to her of course, and he had to assume that she felt the same, but it was almost like he couldn't muster the nerve. Its like a boy that has a crush on a girl and stumbles over his words every time he tries to talk to her. Was that how it was?

Shinji didn't really think so. He'd like to think that his and Asuka's relationship wasn't a simple crush, as childish as the thought of it seemed to him. But he still liked her, couldn't get the image of her face out of his head for that matter. And then there was of course what he had done earlier.

What had he thought when he had kissed her forehead? ...Nothing really, it had just seemed so normal, almost right in some way. Then did he have feelings for her...or had he had feelings for her long before this, and they were only now starting to surface? A nagging suspicion in the back of Shinji's own head told him this last part was true. But then should anything change? But he didn't _want_ anything to change. Things were perfectly fine the way they were.

'Are they really?' he thought. 'How much longer are you both going to keep deluding yourselves? Until what you had is long lost, and you start to regret the decisions you made? Enjoy the time you have together, for it may be just like the sun overhead...a fleeting moment in the wide expanse of the sky...'

This last part sounded a lot like something Rebecca would have said, as though she was standing right next to him and telling him this. But she wasn't, and as much as he admired her, he couldn't turn to her for this.

Almost at this very thought, the sun finally clouded over, as though foreboding times to come...

* * *

Though it never did rain, it became overcast quickly, and soon it felt that all the happiness was sucked out of the world in the instance that the sun left.

After leaving the penguin exhibit, there was a short break that people could take at some picnic bench's where you could eat food that you had brought, or order food at the nearby shop. Having eaten just under an hour ago, Shinji and Asuka saw no reason to even consider sitting down, but through there glances towards each other, they knew that they had something to resolve.

Choosing a spot aways away from everyone else, they plopped down on a picnic bench and sat across from each other, while cherry blossoms fell around them from a nearby tree. If not for the topic of discussion, it would have been fairly romantic.

Asuka started first, wordlessly putting her chin in the palm of her hand and resting her arm on the bench as though saying, 'Well? What do you want to say?'

Shinji who had been looking at a point just over her shoulder hesitated momentarily, but seemed to hold himself together as he said, "I don't want things to be like this...this silence; its too painful."

Asuka let out a low, 'Hmph,' in response, though Shinji was at least glad she had listened.

Continuing, he said, "Look, I'm sorry for what I did earlier...it was stupid and childish."

"Idiot," Asuka harshly said back.

Shinji winced at this but didn't retort back, she was technically right.

After waiting a few seconds Shinji said, "...I don't want to lose what we have Asuka..."

It was this last part that made Asuka finally look at him, and when she did she felt that she had suddenly swallowed ten butterflies and they were now fluttering around in her stomach. Shinji was sincere, truly sincere about how he felt and that he didn't want to lose the bond that they had developed. Well that was exactly how Asuka felt as well. But even so...just the look on Shinji's face of remorse made Asuka want to throw herself at him and tell him she forgave him. Unfortunately being out in public as they were, her normal abrasive behavior kicked in and she instead said-

"Fine, I'll forgive you."

Shinji's face relaxed immensely and he was about to saying something else when Asuka cut in.

"But...you're gonna have to make up for it by buying me something at the gift shop."

"No problem," said Shinji hurriedly. Honestly, he didn't care if Asuka wanted him to buy the whole store, anything to just gain back her trust.

"So whats next then?" asked Asuka in a friendly tone, as though there past argument had all been a hallucination.

"Umm...after the penguin exhibit I think there's a polar bear one...and then some fish from other parts of the world. I think theres some video at the end also, where it talks about Second Impact and how its affected each animal at the aquarium."

"We can skip that. It'll be the same bull shit that governments have been feeding the general public anyway."

"...I suppose."

Asuka was somewhat surprise at the reluctance in his voice and asked, "Why, did you want to watch it?"

"Not really...but." The thought of sitting with you in a dark room isn't so bad, though he'd never come right out and say that.

"Well if you don't have a reason then theres no point to watch it," said Asuka as she stood up.

"Right," replied Shinji distractedly.

Standing up also, he looked across at her for a moment, before Asuka turned away from him with a slight smile on her face, and started walking back towards the path they had left.

As Shinji watched her leave, his head was suddenly assaulted by a brief vision of her walking into a blinding white light with her back turned towards him, but he brushed it off. It wasn't like one of his normal visions anyway, just something his mind thought of on the spur of the moment, and he realized at that moment how much she really meant to him.

'We'll stay together,' he thought. 'We'll stay together until the world ends...and even after.'

Shinji hurried after her then, without a second thought to what he had thought momentarily ago, not knowing how right his thought was.

Above them, the sun came out from behind the clouds, but the clouds lingered thereafter.

* * *

The exhibit for the polar bears was much like the one that housed the penguins, though much larger, and a viewing room was placed under the water for when the polar bears dove in. Unfortunately for Shinji and Asuka, the polar bears weren't nearly as active as the penguins, and slept soundly on the hard concrete structure in the middle of the water. Shinji supposed even concrete felt fine for sleeping on...if you had a mane of fur as a pillow.

The next was the same as the first, though without the brightly colored fish. They were largely a dull grey color with a few light shades of pink mixed in, though Shinji thought he saw one with a pointed nose.

As they left this last room, they both briefly glanced at the door leading into the makeshift theatre where the video was presented.

"Wanna take a guess at how many Americans are in there?" asked Asuka.

"After all this walking...I'd guess that theres fifty Americans, six Europeans, and a lone Chinese man."

Asuka had to stifle her laughter as a family with two kids went by them, glancing at Shinji and Asuka as they passed.

"So then...gift shop?" asked Shinji after the family went by.

Looking towards him, Asuka nodded and said, "Yeah, because you're gonna buy me something, and it better not be a cheap keychain or some shit."

"I'll keep it in mind," thought Shinji, who had briefly thought of that very thing.

Turning towards there left instead of the right, which was where the theatre was, they followed a hallway with many signs and pictures of marine wildlife taken apparently by well known photographers. As they reached the exit sign, Shinji thought he heard Asuka mutter a barely audible, "Finally." He understood what she meant and couldn't really blame her, it certainly hadn't been the best time they'd ever had.

As they entered the gift shop it was clear just how right Shinji's assumption that most people had stopped at the theatre first and he was glad he had listened to Asuka. Just them two and another teenage couple were standing inside the small gift shop. Shinji couldn't imagine what it would have been like with fifty plus people in there.

Turning to Asuka, he asked, "Do you want to choose something, or should I?"

Asuka tried to act as though this was a difficult decision, even though she had long ago decided.

"You decide...surprise me, and make it good. I don't want something cheap as compensation."

"Look around a bit, and then wait outside...I'll be out shortly."

Asuka raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You sound as though he already have something in mind..."

"Not really," said Shinji lamely, making it all to obvious that he did. In fact, the moment they entered the shop, his eyes had been drawn to a specific thing.

"Okay then," said Asuka slowly. Next second she looked wildly around, looking at all the things Shinji might have decided to get her.

After looking over a necklace that was set with bright blue stones that supposedly reflected the suns rays, she gave up and went outside to wait patiently.

After making sure that she really had left, Shinji walked over to the counter where the cashier stood and asked, "How much for those?" He said this while pointing at two exact objects that were sitting on a cushion inside a glass case behind the counter.

"Ah one of our more popular items with young couples. Imported all the way from France, woo your beloved with these lovely golden-"

"Can I just know the price?" repeated Shinji.

"-and lets not forget about the blue eyes, embedded with a precious stone found only off the coasts of Hawaii-"

"The price," Shinji said, putting a little more force than he had intended in his voice.

"Ah yes the price," said the cashier who seemed to not have noticed Shinji the first few times. "This can be yours for a very reasonable price of twenty US dollars."

"I'm Japanese in case you didn't realize," said Shinji, becoming increasingly annoyed.

"Of course you are...now are you buying or-"

"Yes I'm buying." Shinji refrained from adding on, 'damn it,' at the end of his sentence.

"Splendid! Now, is this for a special someone of yours, because if it is I can wrap it up nice and neat for a healthy price of-"

'Did this guy live in England for a few years?' wondered Shinji.

"Yes, wrap it up and...whatever," said Shinji, cutting across the mans rant.

"Al-righty then I'll have it all wrapped up in a minute and you can be on your-"

"Thank God," mumbled Shinji.

* * *

Asuka was disgusted by herself, or rather at the way she was feeling right now as she leaned against a tree just outside the gift shop exit. Unfortunately she couldn't see or hear Shinji from where she stood and wouldn't be surprised if even he couldn't have known what was going on in the shop if in her position.

Really why had she asked him to buy her a gift, it was a stupid decision on her part. Or did she just want something to remember the time spent with him today? She was acting as though this was a date for them, and even though she had said, 'Sure why not,' she hadn't actually meant it. She had just been humoring Shinji. Now though, it did feel like a real date to her.

How was she supposed to react when he came back with some gift? Should she act happy? Excited? Or should she be passive until she discovers what it was he bought her. Surely if wasn't that necklace she had looked at. She knew she said to not buy her some cheap junk, but she hoped Shinji hadn't bought her some eighty dollar necklace. She would feel bad about something like that.

As she thought this, she suddenly saw him walking towards her out of the blue.

'How the hell does he do that,' she wondered as she watched him draw closer.

"Took you long enough," she said as he got nearer, falling back on her usual behavior.

"Sorry, the cashier was rather talkative."

"Whatever...so, what did you get me?" she said trying to not act too excited.

In response, Shinji brought a hand that had been resting in his pocket out, and held out a small package in the palm of his hand. It was a case, simple enough, the kind you'd keep a ring in when not wearing it. However, it was still surprising enough for Asuka to have to stifle a gasp with her hand.

"I saw it when we first walked in and thought...well open first I guess."

Throwing off the facade she normally wore, Asuka took it wordlessly and glanced at it for a moment before saying to Shinji, "Look, if you spent to much on this go in and give it back. I didn't really mean when I told you I wanted something expensive. Anything will be find, so just-"

"Asuka..."

"What!" she snapped back without meaning to.

"Open it..."

"But-"

"Forget about the price and open it."

Asuka frowned at him and bit her lip silently.

"Oh fine. If you insist."

And so she opened it.

Her face didn't really change at all for the first few seconds, but slowly a look of surprised astonishment showed on her face.

"Shinji...this-"

"As I said...I saw it when we first went in, but wasn't sure if you'd be able to wear them or not."

"...No, I can," she whispered quietly.

Slowly reaching into the case, she drew out two golden earrings, both in the shape of dolphins with eyes that gleamed blue like the ocean. Holding both of them in the palm of her hand she blinked several times as she felt tears starting to well at the corners of her eyes.

"Shinji...I mean...its great but..."

"If you don't like it I can take them back and get them returned, and then-"

"No its not that...but it is, I mean...you shouldn't have gotten me this."

"Why not? You said that you can wear them so I'm guessing your ears are pierced."

"No, thats fine. I got those done a long time ago. Its just...do I really deserve something like this?"

"What?"

"I don't like it," she whispered. "I'm always mean to you and yet you put up with me all the time and here you just bought me...one of the best gifts I've ever gotten."

"Asuka..."

"I'm serious. Why should you do this for me?"

"Because I value our relationship."

Asuka opened her mouth and closed it wordlessly. Looking back at Shinji, her face gleaming in the sun from the tears no longer held back she said, "Thank you..."

Shinji opened his mouth to say, 'Your welcome,' when Asuka took several steps forward and practically fell into Shinji's chest. There height was never more profound as it was in this moment, and if Asuka didn't know any better, she would have guessed that Shinji had grown several more inches since last time they had been this intimate with each other. Her head came to just below his neck line so that if she were to look up, his lips would be a second away from hers. There bodies were perfectly alined as they stood like that, with her head resting against his chest, silent tears still streaming down her face while her hands she kept pressed against the soft fabric of the shirt he was wearing. Shinji on the other hand still stood surprised at her sudden forwardness. Slowly though, the situation seemed to dawn on him, and both hands rose from his side and wrapped around Asuka's back, pulling her closer to him. Asuka didn't even relent to this new closeness, and the hands that she had pressed against the cloth of his shirt, suddenly grabbed the shirt and entwined themselves in the cloth, as though finding comfort in the fact that all that separated her skin from his was a thin layer of cloth. Shinji then looked down at the girl who only knew how to express herself through her actions and buried his face in her hair, enjoying her unique smell as it filled his nostrils, and the feel of her silky hair as it passed over his lips. Asuka let out a small sigh into the fabric of his shirt as her eyes started drying, pressing herself further against Shinji trying to get the feeling of how happy she was across to him. All in all, they felt as though they were floating on cloud nine.

"You're welcome," Shinji finally managed to whisper, his face still buried in Asuka's hair. Asuka mumbled something inaudible as she shifted her head against Shinji's chest, finding a more comfortable spot to lean against.

Its probably a good thing that there was a hard concrete walkway next to them, because if given the chance, and a bed, they probably would have fallen down like that, there bodies still entwined. Be that as it may, something possibly better happened to interrupt them.

"Err Asuka...Shinji. What are you guys doing?"

Neither of them really recognized the voice at first, still too absorbed in the moment to give a damn about anything else when another voice spoke up.

"I told you something like this would happen." This last voice almost sounded as though it was holding back a laugh.

"You can't really blame them," said another, male this time. "They haven't had anytime by themselves recently.

It was this last voice which got both Shinji and Asuka to turn around, though it was oddly funny. Both of them simply turned there heads, still not letting go of the other and almost fell over at the sight of the three people who were standing there in shorts watching them.

"Well, I suppose I can't say I'm honestly surprised since I was expecting something like this," said Misato who had sun glasses on her head.

"But to think we'd meet them at a place like this," said Ritsuko this time, chuckling a little bit.

"Ah to be young again," replied Kaji. "Reminds me of our college days Misato."

Misato openly threw him a dirty look and turned back to the two teenagers, still gripping each other and not really registering what was happening.

"Well you're young and it happens to everyone so I suppose I can-"

Misato was cut short however when Asuka's hands that had seconds ago been holding onto Shinji's shirt in a way that suggested deep affection, suddenly jerked backwards and slammed into Shinji chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending him spiraling backwards.

"Wha-Wha-Wha-What are you doing you pervert?" she stammered nervously as the warmth between them disappeared in an instance. Asuka was completely unaware that she still held the earrings in her hand, nor that the corners of her eyes were starting to water again.

In response, Shinji glanced behind himself at the trio who had interrupted them and frowned, as though it was entirely there faults.

Meanwhile, Misato and the other two were starting to feign ignorance over Asuka's delayed reaction to being seen like that with Shinji.

"So, what are you doing here?" asked Shinji, clearly grumpy about present conditions. Behind him, Asuka looked as though she'd like nothing more than to sink into the ground.

"Some research on how marine animals have adapted to a harsher environment," replied Ritsuko.

"Sounds fascinating," said Shinji, sarcasm only too obvious.

"Were you two on a date?" Misato finally managed to blurt out, causing both Kaji and Ritsuko to look at her rather surprised. Shinji was about to shrug as though it was whatever she thought, when Asuka hurriedly spoke up.

"Absolutely not! No way! I just dragged him around as compensation for...for annoying me, about some things."

"Then whats that in your hand?" asked Misato suspiciously.

"What this?" Asuka responded, looking at the earrings, "Just some cheap souvenir that I made Shinji buy for me."

Shinji openly flinched at that, but only Asuka seemed to notice, whereas Misato didn't look as though she believed her in the slightest.

"A huh...well just don't stay out too late, and don't forget that you're returning to Nerv and not my apartment."

"Right," said Shinji, trying to keep the anger in his voice in check. Misato seemed to notice though and tried giving him a weak smile which turned into a grimace.

"See you two back at Nerv then..."

"Yeah see ya," responded Shinji.

As Misato and Ritsuko passed Shinji, Kaji paused for a moment, clapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Trust when I say I know the feeling of being interrupted like this. Don't let it bother you too much though."

He didn't even bother responding, shrugging Kaji's hand off his shoulder and digging his hands deep into his pockets.

Kaji frowned at the adolescent in front of him, hoping that he wouldn't make the same mistake he did when he was a teenager, before he nodded his head slightly, and walked towards a door that Misato and Ritsuko had disappeared through marked with, 'authorized personal only,' plastered above the door frame.

After Kaji left, nothing remained but a frosty like atmosphere in which both Shinji and Asuka were absorbed in their own thoughts. Eventually though, Shinji started walking towards a sign that read exit and would take him out on the streets of Tokyo-3, his hands still deep in his pockets and his pointed towards the ground.

Seeing what he was doing, Asuka took several steps towards him when she paused and waited until he was a good distance ahead of her before she started walking. After the way she had reacted, she could understand if Shinji didn't want to talk with her, and respected his wishes...even if they were painful.

As Shinji stepped onto the streets of Tokyo-3, he looked both ways, trying to decide which way would most likely burn the rest of the day away. He felt empty right now, more empty than he had felt in a long time. It wasn't so much being interrupted that bothered him, but how reluctant Asuka had been to be seen with him like that by other people, and specifically, people she knew. Then there was what she had said about the earrings he had gotten her. He was angry when he didn't want to be, but he was, and it bothered him that he was angry at her. Right now he didn't want to talk, even though he could sense the fall of her foot steps behind him. He was afraid that he'd fly off the handle and hurt her...in an emotional way. He'd sooner cut his own arm off with his AT-field than cause her physical harm. Maybe later they could talk...but not right now.

As Shinji turned a corner, he glanced around, trying to pick out where he was located in Tokyo-3. He had been almost everywhere in the city in his relatively short time in Tokyo-3, and could recognize where he was almost immediately, but right now he just let his feet take him where ever they pleased.

And so it was that they returned to there first encounter.

* * *

Though relatively different from how it had been before, it was technically still the same as Shinji gazed out across the beach from where he had first seen Asuka those many months ago. The sun wouldn't set for another five hours at best, but Shinji felt as though waiting wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Following along the edge of the hill, he reached the cement staircase and started climbing down to the sandy beach below. Small pieces of driftwood littered the beach along with smoothly shaped stones, but other than that little else was on the beach. Shinji was glad that people had refrained from littering on it. It was something of a special spot for him, both for the first time he saw Asuka, and also for the time they fought there first angel together.

Looking out towards the ocean, he watched as wave upon wave crashed towards the shore before slowly dissipating to almost nothing. In some ways, it reminded him of his own life.

Suddenly a strong sea breeze hit him, sending his hair whipping around his face as the smell of salt filled his nostrils. Above him, the sun was still burning a hole through the ozone layer, sending waves of heat onto the back of his neck, but the sea breeze felt nice and cool at least.

Having a sudden inclination to feel the soft crunch of sand under his toes, and the touch of the cold water as it hit his skin, he untied his shoes and pulled off his socks, throwing them in a heap. Rolling up his pant legs, he slowly walked out into the surf.

He felt oddly relaxed as he continued walking through the water, almost serene, as the water splashed around his pants, slowly soaking them and his shirt as the spray from the waves flew around him. Suddenly having an urge to completely soak his body, he turned around and let himself fall slowly backwards, just as a large wave came crashing into him, propelling him forward several feet. With his entire body soaked, his head broke the surface of the water and he let himself float there for a few seconds before he placed his feet down on firm ground.

With his body now facing the other way, he could see a figure standing exactly where he stood those many months ago. Her fiery hair flew behind her as the sea breeze splashed over her face, making her already over saturated eyes produce more tears. Unfortunately, she wasn't wearing the sun dress that he had first seen her in, but even so...

She stood there for a few minutes, as though unsure whether Shinji was ready to talk yet. But as Shinji continued to gaze at her, she took that as an unspoken that, 'Yes...it was fine...'

Turning towards the cement stairway, she jumped the stairs two at a time before landing with a thud on the soft sand and started running towards him, but slowed as she neared him before stopping all together at the edge of the water.

Shinji meanwhile sat in the water several feet away from her, ignoring his water logged pants and the feel of the water as it splashed against his back. Smiling slightly at the expression that now showed on her face as though she wasn't really keen to get wet, he threw her a look that said, 'C'mon, its not that cold really.'

Asuka frowned at his expression but eventually knelt down and slipped the sandals off her feet that she had been wearing and kicked them next to Shinji's discarded shoes. Rolling up her own pant legs, she started wading out to where Shinji waited for her.

As she slowly got closer, Shinji finally broke the long silence, "Took you long enough."

Asuka was silent as she couldn't walking towards him, being careful to avoid any small rocks or shellfish.

"What happened? Why'd you wait so long to come down here?"

"I didn't want to intrude," mumbled Asuka in a very sincere, and un-Asuka like way as she neared him.

Shinji frowned at this depressing response and with a sudden thought, leaned forward and grabbed Asuka's arm, pulling her towards him.

"Shinji what are yo-WAAHH!"

Shinji accidentally pulled a little too hard, sending her cascading into him, pushing him backwards in the process so that she fell on top of him. Shinji's head hit the soft sand and soon he felt it cake on the back of his head. Well he'd just take a shower later.

Water flowed around his hair, turning it wavy while Asuka's pants unrolled themselves and got soaked everywhere below the knee.

"Shinji you idiot," said Asuka, as she pushed herself off of him. "Why'd you go and do something like that?"

"Because you didn't seem to want to get wet."

"Of course not! We do still have to walk back to Nerv and-"

"We can let them dry out in the sun."

"I don't want to walk around Tokyo-3 looking as though I jumped into a swimming pool fully clothe-"

At that moment, Shinji chose to sending his right hand soaring upward through the water, splashing water across the left side of Asuka's face, cutting her off instantly.

As the water slowly dripped from Asuka's wet bangs, Shinji could see a vein pulsating in her temple and knew that he was in for it.

"Moron," seethed Asuka as she pushed Shinji down into the water, creating an imprint of his body in the wet sand. Shinji retaliated by splashing water across the rest of her pants with both his hands, creating an anchor of some kind to weigh her down. Not much is left to be said besides the fact that for the next ten minutes they engaged in a very heated water fight.

As the splashing of water died down though, and both became visibly exhausted, they let themselves fall down to earth and lay in the surf for several minutes before Asuka finally spoke up.

"I'm really sorry for earlier," she whispered.

Shinji had been waiting for this sometime or another and simply said, "You were surprised is all, I expected that."

"No, it was rude for me to call you a pervert after what we...well shared together. And what I said about the earrings, I'm sor-"

"You're starting to sound like me you know."

Asuka rolled over on her side so she could see him better and said fervently, "I'm serious. I don't like acting all abrasive when I'm around you, I wish I could just be myself."

"But you are being yourself Asuka...moodiness and all."

Silence greeted his words and Shinji was momentarily waiting for a backlash when Asuka smoothed it over by saying, "I suppose you're right."

Shinji nodded silently up at the sky in response.

"But it was embarrassing to meet Misato, Ritsuko, and Kaji there."

"Really? I think I might have been more angry at them then you actually."

"For what?"

Shinji shrugged. "Interrupting I suppose."

Asuka raised an eyebrow and said, "Why? Did you expect anything else to happen?"

"Well..."

"Forget it," replied Asuka, wishing she hadn't asked. After a moments pause, she add, "Though I did have fun overall...it has been a while since we could relax."

"...So it was a successful date then?" asked Shinji hesitantly.

Asuka paused for a moment before she said, "Yeah...you could say that I suppose."

They continued laying like that in the water for several minutes, there previous discussion forgotten.

"Hey Asuka?" asked Shinji suddenly.

"Hmmm, what?" she replied with her eyes closed.

"I never told you that I had met you before we actually saw each other at school did I..."

Asuka repositioned herself so fast that Shinji felt the water ripples from her movement hit his arm. She was now sitting up with her mouth slightly open and a surprised look on her face. Shinji noticed then that part of the Nerv shirt she was wearing was pulled down over one shoulder, while large splotches of the shirt were virtually see through. Not to mention the A10 nerve clips she normally wore were lost sometime during the water fight and her hair now hung in two large bunches over each shoulder.

"What did you say?" she asked completely stunned.

"Well...we didn't really meet, but I saw you, though you didn't see me."

"When? Where?"

"Err...right here actually."

It took Shinji's words a few seconds to register before a puzzled expression passed over her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"It was...the day before I met Misato and you were here looking out across the sea. The sun was setting and I remember you were wearing that summer dress of yours."

Asuka paused as she tried to remember what he was talking about.

"I think I remember something like that...but what were you doing out?"

"Walking and thinking. I always did a lot of that then."

"And you saw me? And I was looking out across the ocean?"

"Yeah...and I remember thinking that I should have talked to you then, but I was supposed to be leaving the next day. But of course I met Misato and I remembered you and how I should have talked to you. Then of course you show up at school and...well the rest is obvious."

Asuka continued looking at him for several seconds before she said, "Why didn't you ever tell me that before?"

"Didn't remember it until just now...everything else just sorta eclipsed it."

Asuka continued to look back at him utterly dumbfounded by the fact that she could have met him before the Evangelions and everything else.

"Actually I've always wanted to know what you were thinking that time when you were looking at the ocean," said Shinji, pulling Asuka way from her train of thought.

"Thats," she started, but didn't really want to finish.

"What?" he asked after she didn't respond after a few seconds.

"Its stupid..."

"I doubt that."

"No, it really is."

"I don't care, and its not like I'd laugh or anything."

"If you do I'll kill you."

'How many times have I heard that,' thought Shinji.

"Yes, I know...now tell me."

"Fine...I was talking to my mother."

It was Shinji's turn to look surprised and he had to do a double take at that. Looking at her, he could see that a steady tinge of pink was starting to creep into her cheeks.

"Go on...laugh."

"I'm not...but Asuka isn't your mother...dea-"

"Yes, she's dead. I know she's dead. But I don't know...maybe it was because I'd finally moved to Tokyo-3 after all the training to become an Eva pilot...I just felt like talking...and I just sorta thought of her then. I never knew her very well...being too young to remember much but I sorta conjured up a mental image of what she looked like. I think a part of me just wanted to be praised for what I had accomplished."

Silence ensued between them at Asuka's finally words, and Shinji wasn't really sure how he should respond. In truth, Shinji had never thought of speaking to his mother...well he supposed he had inside Unit 01, but in the sense Asuka was talking about. Maybe it was because he'd never had anything substantial that he could talk about, before he met Asuka, Misato, and started piloting Unit 01.

"You must think I was acting childish," mumbled Asuka, interrupting Shinji's thought.

Turning towards her, his hair dripping wet from the surf he said, "No, I don't. If I had something to talk about with my mother I'd probably do the same. And don't call it childish...its perfectly reasonably to want to talk to your mother, and besides," here Shinji looked up into the blue sky and said, "we're still children after all...so its okay to want the love of a parent."

Asuka scoffed lightly at his comment, but understood what he meant. They were still kids and had a kids outlook on life, even if they were forced to shoulder an adults responsibility at a young age.

"Thanks," Asuka whispered.

"...For what?" he replied.

Asuka laughed lightly and said, "For everything I suppose...I'm glad that I met you."

Asuka smiled here and it was like the sun suddenly came down from the sky and greeted Shinji's face. He had to openly turn away from her.

Looking up in the sky he briefly reflected on everything that had happened to him. Did he consider himself happy? Well, he supposed that this was the happiest he had ever been in his life, even with the prospect of fighting another angel soon. But he supposed that he had to be thankful for piloting Unit 01, because in someway, it had changed him as a person, and he felt that this person was different that his old self.

"We should probably head back to Nerv," he said suddenly, still looking at the sky.

"What happened to laying out in the sun waiting for our clothes to dry?" asked Asuka.

"Do you want to stay out here and steadily get colder? Or would you prefer to hurry back to Nerv and take a shower?"

Briefly looking at herself, Asuka understood what he meant. In simple terms, she looked worse than when she usually woke up.

"I guess you're right...even though you were the one that suggested staying out in the first place."

Placing his hands behind himself, Shinji pushed himself up in a sitting position and then reached a hand out to Asuka.

"C'mon, lets go before we start shivering."

Asuka looked at him blankly for a view seconds with his hand outstretched towards her, before she said very quietly, "One last thing Shinji..."

Shinji was rather taken aback at this and drew his hand back to his side.

"Whats up Asu-" but thats as far as he got before she reached out with her right hand and pushed roughly against his chest, sending him back into the water.

Shinji at first thought this was retaliation for earlier when he had splashed water across her face during there water fight, when he noticed the sun being blocked out through his half closed eyes. As he opened his eyes, he saw that Asuka was kneeling beside him on his left, biting down on her salty lips.

Shinji blinked several times, under the impression that this was some strange illusion that his adolescent mind had conjured up in the span of four-seconds, when he noticed a weight pressed against his chest. Realizing this wasn't an illusion, he looked up into Asuka's face, which had drawn exceedingly close to his own, while both of her hands were resting on his soaked shirt.

"Asu...ka...what are you-"

"Returning a favor," she said through half closed lips.

'Oh God,' was all Shinji was able to think as Asuka drew closer.

Like a tire rupturing on a freeway, Shinji's brain all but imploded on itself as Asuka's lips came into contact with his skin. His body, already starting to shiver from the lukewarm water, suddenly heated up and boiled over to the point where people would think he had a fever. Shinji suddenly felt small droplets of water hit his face and momentarily thought that Asuka was crying, when he looked up and saw that water from the surf still on her face was steadily dripping from her chin and falling around the corners of his lips. Moving his lips slightly, the droplets which had built at the corner of his lips fell between them, spilling across the inside of his mouth. Salty...but pleasant nonetheless. Her hair, drenched with there past water fight and laying in the surf, hung limply around his face, creating a sort of curtain, shielding them in case other people saw them. He could smell the salt of the ocean mixed in with the normal flowery smell that seemed to radiated off her hair. It was enough to make his head spin. Her lips...well those were currently pressed against his forehead, as his had down earlier that the morning. He felt the softness of them against his forehead, there own moistness mixed in with the ocean water, the feel as she parted them slightly as he himself had done. What he wouldn't give to let this last a little longer...

And then it was gone.

Asuka lips along with her hands, left his body all at once, creating the impression that they had never been there. Still kneeling next to him, she wasn't really looking at him, more like a point directly past his shoulder. She thought she had surprised him, and that was part of it, but she wanted to see his response to what she had just done. Honestly, she couldn't believe what she had done herself...and yet it had felt oddly pleasant.

Shinji continued laying there, his face completely passive as though nothing had happened. Suddenly though, he moved so fast that Asuka blinked and he was sitting up, a hand pressed against the spot where she had kissed him.

A moment of awkward silence passed between them before Shinji asked, "How come you did that?" It wasn't accusatory, just curious.

As Shinji watched out of the corner of his eyes, he was rather surprised that Asuka wasn't blushing. It was almost as though there places had switched since earlier. She had simply done it because she felt like, and she didn't feel embarrassed about it in the least.

"Not sure," she finally said. "Part of it was payback for earlier I suppose. Another part of me...just felt like it though."

Shinji nodded his head briefly at that, understanding what she was getting at. He had virtually felt the same thing when he had kissed her forehead earlier. As she had said, he had just felt like it...

"We should probably get going," said Shinji again, thinking of steering the conversation away from something they weren't quite sure of yet. They had taken a few steps...but things could wait.

Shinji made to stand up, but Asuka grabbed his hand and said, "Hold on...one last thing."

"Can't it wait till later...or were you planning to ki-"

"As if," she said getting annoyed, "I just wanted to ask you something that I thought would be...well, something that would be appropriate for right now."

Shinji looked at her evenly and even though he didn't know what she was gonna ask, he kinda understood what she meant. They both realized things then, things that didn't need to be spoken about where they were going, and what they would be doing in the near future.

"So...whats up?"

In response, Asuka steadily applied more force on Shinji's hand and he took that to mean she wanted him to sit next to her. Sitting down next to her again, he felt water trickling around his feet but ignored it and turned to her wordlessly. Looking back at him, Asuka hesitantly for a second before she took a deep breath and said...

"Have you ever kissed somebody?"

Asuka caught Shinji so off guard that he almost fell over.

"What! What do you mean have I ever kissed somebody...when I've-"

"Not like that," Asuka said hurriedly, shaking her head, making her hair even more unruly then it already was.

"I mean _actually_ kissed somebody."

Shinji opened his mouth when he was still confused, but suddenly understood what she was getting at and let it hang open.

"Oh...that," he said after finally closing his mouth with a snap. Swallowing loudly he finished, "No I haven't..."

"I see," said Asuka as though finally coming to some conclusion.

"You?"

"Nope...never really thought about it much..."

"And exactly why did you want to know that?" asked Shinji a little smugly.

Asuka blinked openly for a second before she grimaced and said, "Not telling you anything."

'Figures,' thought Shinji.

"So whats next," he asked, poking fun at her sudden inclination to get all affectionate, "Wanna know what my-"

Asuka elbowed him none to gently in the side and said, "Say anything else and I'll hit you idiot."

Shinji smiled at that. Things had somewhat shifted to what they were normally used to. Though what they felt for each other still lingered.

"Fine then," said Asuka standing up and trying to ignore how water logged she felt. "Lets get back to Nerv...you're were right, I do need a shower."

"Should we take the tram or call a cab?"

"How far is the tram?"

"A few blocks that way," said Shinji pointing to his right.

Asuka thought for a moment before she said, "On second thought, lets walk. It'll dry us out some and I don't really want to be gawked at by other people right now."

Shinji understood what she meant and briefly looked at her chest where a white bra could be seen underneath the faded shirt.

"C'mon on then lets go," Shinji said for what he hoped was the last time.

Not having anything else to add, Asuka nodded wordlessly at Shinji and together they walked away from there first encounter.

* * *

"I don't even want to know what you two were doing or where you went...but for Gods sake refrain from embarrassing Nerv already," said Misato harshly.

Her, Shinji, and Asuka were standing inside her office. As it turned out, Shinji and Asuka had ended up taking the tram when they realized how long it would take to return to Nerv with their water logged clothes. In the end, many people had gotten an eyeful of Asuka's semi nakedness and Shinji had threatened to bight off a few many teenagers heads in response. Asuka however was oddly touched by Shinji's protectiveness over her, even if it did annoy her at the same time.

Misato faced planted on her desk after her rebuke over their behavior.

Shinji, unable to hold back the subject any longer finally said, "If you must know we went swimming."

"Swimming?" asked Misato as she raised her head off a stack of papers that were resting on her desk.

"Yeah, down on the beach."

"And you didn't think to take your clothes off first?"

Shinji raised an eyebrow at Misato and glanced briefly at Asuka who was determinedly not looking at either of them. Realizing the problems that would have been involved with her suggestion, Misato mumbled, "Oh right...didn't think about that."

"Its fine," said Asuka, surprising both Shinji and Misato. "Are we done, because I do need to take a shower?

Leaning back in her chair, Misato sighed and said, "Yes alright, go take a shower. Shinji?"

"...Yeah I need one also."

"Fine, Asuka you know where they are right?"

"Yeah, I'll show him."

"Great, because I've got a lot of stuff to finish before tomorrow. And Asuka."

"Hmmm?"

"There is a synchronization test scheduled for you tomorrow...I know its rather sudden but-"

"I'll be fine," said Asuka without any hitch in her voice.

Misato looked at her for a view more seconds, looking for any sort of fear or resentment in her voice. Not noticing any such thing she said, "Okay get going...the smell is starting to get to me."

Shinji and Asuka nodded and left silently together through Misato's office door.

Out in the hallway, they walked silently together for a while until they reached the fork where there respective showering areas were.

"Its through that door," said Asuka pointing towards the mens showers, obviously weary of the days events and looking forward to crawling into bed. As she turned towards the woman's bathroom however, Shinji grabbed ahold of her hand and asked quietly, "About what Misato said back there...are you really okay with the synchronization tests, because if not I can go back and-"

"No...I'll be fine," Asuka whispered.

Shinji hesitated, not sure how far he wanted to go with this. Asuka however sensed his uneasiness and said, "I'm fine...really. Today made me...think about a lot of things that I had never wanted to think of, or acknowledge for that matter."

"So then you're okay with this?"

"Its fine," she repeated.

"If you...need anything...you know I'm here."

Asuka turned towards Shinji and said, "You just being here is why I'm still able to continue."

Without another word, she pulled her hand away from Shinji's grasp and walked into her own shower rooms.

Shinji stood there in the corridor for a few minutes before he himself walked into the mens shower room.

Pulling off the his wet clothes, he tossed them in a heap next to the shower, and walked in. Turning on the water, he let out a low sigh and relished the feel as the hot water fell around his body.

Unsure how long he stayed in there, when he eventually got out his fingers and toes were completely pruned. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he walked up the mirror and examined himself briefly. His own reflection blinked blankly back at him.

'Whats changed?' he thought.

In response, a brief flash of scarlet flickered in his eyes, unnerving him slightly but still reminding him that he had angel blood flowing through his veins, and no matter how much he wished it, his future was different than Asuka's...

* * *

Whiteness filled this world, with nothing but the sky and the white sand. Yet a different type of whiteness filled this world, a whiteness that would have been consider nothing but a large mass of energy. Currently, three masses of this white energy were gathered around the only object on the planet that casted a shadow. A large tree, devoid of any fruit stood in the middle of the infinite mass of sand, on what would have been considered the equator of the planet. The tree was a light grayish color, with many branches that forked off in many directions. This tree, according to the knowledge of the white masses, had been here for as far back as they could remember. But nothing had been born from the branches of the tree for many years. Hopefully that was about to change soon though.

All three white masses sat on the branches of the tree, and to normal people, they would have considered the tree to be extremely brittle, and the branches to snap easily. The white masses seemed to not care about this though, or knew that no amount of weighed could ever cripple this tree.

The white masses each had there own place on the tree, each governed a branch, and the one above them governed another branch until the last branches at the top opened up to the wide sky above them. However these last two branches were devoid of anything, for those white masses had long ago usurped there place here and chosen to remain on Earth until a human worthy enough to rebuild the tree could be found.

The white mass at the top of the branches governed to him was looking up at the sky, as though pondering about the future of things to come. Below him, his brother and sister were talking about things to come. Unfortunately for him though, he saw the end of there lives, yet was expressly forbidden from deterring them from the chosen path. He was the last part of the objective, the last obstacle for the human chosen to overcome, the last thorn in the side for all of humanity for that matter.

As he continued looking up at the sky, he placed a formless hand over the branch and thought, 'Soon the Tree of Life shall be restored and all of humanity will revert to the substance from which they were born from.'

As almost a parting thought, Tabris said out loud, "Ikari Shinji...I wish to meet you again..."

* * *

**Final thing I wanted to add...you could probably just call this chapter Small Steps Part2, but I hate it when authors do that as if they aren't creative enough to think of a different chapter name. Just a pet peeve of mine I guess**


	20. Contact

**Don't have much to say except spend time with your moms today...after you finish reading this of course.**

* * *

Shinji raised an eyebrow at what Misato had said.

It was the next day and just several hours away from Asuka's synchronization test.

"What do you mean I can't be there during Asuka's synchronization test?" asked Shinji.

Misato let out a sigh and said, "Shinji you must know why I can't allow you to be near Asuka while she does this."

"No I don't understand!" said Shinji, his voice starting to bristle with anger. "Why shouldn't I be in there! She'd feel better if she knew I was close to her!"

"Thats exactly why I can't let you be there. We don't...know if she's able to pilot, and you being there will certainly cause her synchronization to fluctuated randomly. While she's confident in her ability to pilot, and I myself am confident that she's ready, we wont know for certain until she steps inside Unit 02." Here she paused and frowned at Shinji until she finished with, "And you two seem to have...gotten closer this past day. I'd prefer to not have to restrain you incase something _does_ happen with the test..."

"As if you could restrain me," mumbled Shinji.

Misato frowned at him, knowing that he had said something negative but not quite able to hear what it was.

"I'm adamant about this...don't make me have to confine you to-"

"Fine I get it," snarled Shinji.

Without another word, he stormed out of Misato's office, leaving Misato briefly wishing that Shinji and Asuka had never met.

* * *

Shinji's fist collided against the sheet-rocked wall the second he slammed the door closed with his foot, punching a hole straight through the wall and connecting with the hard metal beyond it. Adrenaline surging through his body, Shinji yanked his fist out of the hole, sending bits of white sheet rock and flecks of blood from his split knuckles flying through the air. Breathing heavily, adrenaline still flowing through him, he looked down at his torn hand as blood continued flowing from the split skin, and started dripping onto the ground.

"Damn it," he swore openly into the empty bedroom that was currently designated to him.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed that him and Asuka had recently shared, he continued staring at his bleeding hand, making no apparent effort to stem the flow of blood.

"What am I doing?" he wondered.

Asuka was going to pilot again, and his mind couldn't fully grasp that concept. He hated it when she stepped into her Evangelion, not only because it completely changed her, but largely because he wasn't able to be there and comfort her. She completely sectioned herself off from the rest of the world when she was incased in the entry-plug.

Then he had to wonder about her own Evangelion, Unit 02. If he was correct in his assumption, that a human soul resided in the Evangelions, and that the souls were somehow connected to person who pilots it...then who's soul was in Unit 02. As much as Shinji knew about Asuka, he couldn't think of anybody in her life who would have been considered applicable.

'Maybe she wont be able to pilot though,' he thought suddenly. 'If she can't, then how will she react? She felt confident about it, but I don't think she was telling me the entire truth. Certainly she has to feel some anxiety over this. Then what should I do if she can't pilot? Comfort her for starters I suppose...but then what, living here will be too painful for either of us. So then should we run away? Start a new life?'

The immediate thought of that put Shinji off. He hated it here, felt as though he was a pawn under his father, but he also had something that he and only he could do. That gave him a purpose in life which he had never had. No, he didn't think he'd be able to leave. Even so...if she isn't able to pilot.

The adrenaline started to wear off from his cold fury earlier and his hand was starting to throb like crazy now. Bitting down on his lips, he stood up and walked to the bathroom down the hall to his right. Entering the bathroom, he turned on the faucet to one of the sinks, and submerged his hand in lukewarm water. It stung slightly, but he supposed this was better than letting it get infected.

Even as he thought this, he saw the blood dripping from his hand into the sink suddenly stop, and next second, start to reverse itself as it traveled back into the open wound. Shinji's eyes widened as the blood continued flowing back into the wound, before the folds of skin that had been torn apart and left dangling across his knuckles, suddenly moved as though an invisible hand was guiding them, and placed themselves over the wound. Billions of cells worked in conjunction with each other to connect the flayed pieces of skin, until Shinji was able to look down at his hand and only see white scars where the wound had been.

Trying not to panic to much, Shinji looked at his own reflection in the mirror and was unsurprised to see that his eyes had turned a blood red. Looking back down at his hand, he turned it over and examined the other side, wondering if the wound hadn't been transferred somewhere else.

"So looks like I can heal myself somewhat now," Shinji mumbled as his blood red eyes slowly changed back into the brown color that he was normally used to looking at.

'Probably best to not let anybody know about this...including Asuka,' he thought.

Turning off the sink faucet, he continued looking at himself in the mirror for a few more seconds before he slowly plodded out of the mens bathroom.

At first he thought about simply going back to his room and sleeping, but he found that his feet had a mind of there own.

After walking down many hallways, during which he thought of little else but Asuka, Shinji found that he was standing in the elevator that would take him down to Unit 01 chamber.

He had never done something like this before, having trying to avoid anything to do with Unit 01 unless it was related to battling the angels. Part of it was because deep down, he still resented Unit 01 and everything that it represented, both his fathers part in the creation of the Evangelions, and because of Asuka's long involvement with them.

As the doors opened, Shinji glimpsed around briefly, taking in the environment. The first thing he noticed, was that a metal walkway going outward from the doors was floating on what appeared to be LCL fluid. In fact, half the chamber was filled with LCL fluid.

As Shinji stepped out of the elevator and onto the walkway, he immediately saw Unit 01 in his peripheral vision. As he continued walking, he kept his eyes focused on Unit 01, and if somebody was standing in front of him, he probably would have run into them.

Now as he stood in front of Unit 01, he walked slowly forward and placed his hands on the railing that prevented him from falling into the sea of LCL fluid. As he stood there, he felt that he knew why he wanted to be here. The fact that his mother was so close comforted him ways that he realized Asuka couldn't. As he continued looking up at Unit 01, he briefly thought where he would be if his mother had still be alive. He supposed that he never would have met Asuka, which irked him somewhat, but even so...the prospect of a mother in his life still tugged at his heart.

Shinji must have been in a daze for a while, because he didn't hear when the elevator doors on the opposite side of the walkway opened with a snap.

After a few seconds though, as the sounds of footsteps started to register in his head, he spun his head around, cricking it in the process, and was surprised to see Rei walking towards him.

'Ayanami?' he thought.

As Rei continued walking towards him, Shinji let his hands off the railing and turned towards her. At first he thought she was going to walk by him, but was openly surprised when she turned towards Unit 01 and gazed at it just as he had done moments before.

After a few minutes of silence, during which Shinji continued looking at her and Rei continued looking at Unit 01, Shinji was about to start a conversation which would have surely dissolved into thin air when Rei surprisingly asked him something.

"I'm surprised that you are here Ikari-kun..."

If Rei was surprised to see Shinji here looking at Unit 01, it was nowhere to how Shinji felt about hearing Rei speak first.

Shinji had always been...well not afraid, but...Rei had always seemed strange to him. First he knew about her relation with his father, which he couldn't understand. Though admittedly he had never really thought of trying to know why she cared for him so. Second...well he honestly never got to know her very well, being so absorbed in living with Asuka and his own problems. But he was also...curious about her, because she felt different to him than anybody else who he had ever met, as though she was like _him_ in some way.

Coming out of his sudden thoughts, he turned to her with a blank expression on his face and said, "What I'm...doing here..."

Rei continued looking back at him with the usual expression on her face.

Feeling slightly embarrassed by his response to her question, Shinji turned away from her quickly. How was it that it was harder to talk to her then it was to Asuka?

'Well thats simple,' he replied to his own question. 'You can easily talk to Asuka because you've been around her so much. Ayanami...not so much.'

Continuing to look away from her, Shinji glanced briefly at Unit 01 out of the corner of his eye and wondered what Asuka would have said if she could have seen him all flustered.

'Probably would have become jealous and hit me,' he thought as a smile started to spread over his face.

Feeling slightly better, he turned back to Rei and said, "I've never been here before, trying to forget about Unit 01 as much as possible when I wasn't inside of it. I suppose I...well Asuka's of course taking her synchronization test right now, and Misato didn't want me there, so I just sorta...ended up here."

Rei was silent as Shinji finished.

"How come you're here though Ayanami?" asked Shinji suddenly.

Rei seemed to pause for a moment before she said, "I sometimes come here by myself," she said quietly.

Shinji was rather surprised at her response and raised an eyebrow.

"How come? Isn't it kinda...lonely?"

"...Lonely? No...not really. Unit 01 is here after all," she said while gesturing towards the giant head of the Eva that was perturbing out of the LCL fluid.

"Unit 01?" asked Shinji surprised that she would say such a thing. Did she know what the Eva's contained? And speaking of which...what soul was inside her Eva, Unit 00?

"Yes," said Rei emotionlessly as she continued looking at Unit 01.

Shinji follow her gaze, and looked into the eyes of his Eva, wondering if his mom could see him.

"Hey umm Ayanami...?"

"Yes Ikari-kun?"

"...You can call me Shinji you know...everybody else does."

Shinji tore his eyes way from Unit 01 and directed them at Rei, who he was surprised to see was also looking back at him.

"Err...Ayana-"

"Shin...ji...kun."

"You can drop the 'kun' you know," Shinji said quickly. "We know each other and...well as I said, everybody calls me just Shinji so...

Rei nodded slightly to indicated that she understood. Turning back to Unit 01, she said, "You wanted to ask me something?"

Shinji started, momentarily forgetting what he had originally wanted to ask her before they got sidetracked with the way she addressed him.

"How do you...get along so well with my father?" he finally managed to say.

"Your father?"

"Yeah," said Shinji as he nodded.

Rei seemed to think about that for a moment before she said, "I don't understand what you mean by that. The commander is...kind to me, and so I am also kind to him."

"But I mean...I've seen you talking to him, more adamantly then you normally do."

Rei was silent for a moment as she pondered what Shinji meant, and after giving her a few seconds Shinji continued.

"Myself, I've never cared for him. He abandoned me when I was a kid, went to work with Nerv I suppose now that I think about everything. Part of me always wished that I had his love...or at least his respect. I suppose you could say that I'm...envious of you, because he seems to care for you more than he does me, his own son."

"I don't think thats true," said Rei quietly.

Shinji glanced back at her and said, "I don't know what to think about him anymore, nor do I think I really care."

"Do you mean that?"

"Why shouldn't I? He's been absent in my life for so long, even if he were to make amends for everything he's ever done...I still couldn't forgive him."

"Because you hate him?"

"Correct..."

"But you don't know how he feels about you."

"Does it really matter? Its enough that I don't want any part of him in my life."

"Then why do you pilot Eva?"

Shinji's head swiveled so quickly to look at her that he suffered whiplash as though Misato had just slammed on the brakes of her car. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked back at Rei only to see that her eyes were fixed unblinkingly on his own.

"Why I pilot...I have my own reasons, as I'm sure you do also," he said trying to avoid the question.

Rei continued looking at him unblinkingly for a few more seconds before she turned her eyes back to Unit 01 and said, "A person without a purpose isn't a person."

Shinji blinked several times, trying to decipher what she meant by that. After several seconds of failed attempts, Shinji instead asked, "Then why do you pilot?"

"Me? ...I pilot to discover who I am..."

"Who you are? Aren't you Ayanami Rei? Is there anybody else you could be? I mean...well...I know who you are at least."

Rei looked back at him, and if Shinji was correct in his assumption, her face seemed to show genuine surprise.

"Who am I to you?"

"Well...one of the few friends of mine first and foremost, then I suppose that we're both Eva pilots...and we are...somewhat alike."

"Alike?"

"I mean..." Shinji trailed off, unsure exactly what he had planned on saying. The honest fact was, that on some level that he could never reach with Asuka, him and Rei were alike in certain ways.

"Never mind," said Shinji, quickly forgetting what they were talking about.

Rei nodded slightly and continued looking at Unit 01 for a few more seconds before she said, "The fourth child is supposed to be found."

Shinji whipped his head around for what felt like the umpteenth time and was about to ask her what she meant by that, but she was already walking past him to the opposite end of the walkway.

"Ayanami...what did you mean about the fourth child being found!" he yelled at her retreating back.

He may as well have shouted at the sky, for all the answer he got.

* * *

Eventually the hours passed, during which Shinji curled into a ball and fell asleep in front of Unit 01 dreaming about his mother materializing out of Unit 01, Rei's eyes suddenly glowing a bright blood red as she told him his father was dead, Asuka being trapped inside Unit 02 forever, and something that he wasn't able to remember to clearly. For some reason it maybe him think of the fourth child. All to soon though, he felt himself being roughly awakened by hands that were nonetheless smooth, but could cause he great pain at the same time.

"So this is where you've been the entire time," grumbled Asuka the second one of Shinji's eyes twitched open.

"Test go smoothly then?" asked Shinji, trying to keep the worry in his voice to a minimum.

"Without any problems," she said in such a way that seemed to adhere back to her old self.

A feeble smile flickered across Shinji's features during which he said, "Glad that you're fine."

"Like anything would have happened," she countered. "I'm the best there is. ...So? What were you doing around this pile of scrap metal?" she asked while pointing at Unit 01.

Shrugging, Shinji said, "Not sure, Misato said that I wasn't allowed to be there for your synchronization test, so I kinda...ended up wandering here."

"Yeah I heard that she was afraid that you would affect my concentration somehow. How utterly ridiculous. As if something like that could have broken my concentration." Asuka said this last part a lot less smugly then she had said the sentence before, and they were both briefly reminded of the previous day and everything that had happened between them.

"So," said Asuka trying to pull not only herself, but Shinji away from yesterday's events, "Misato wanted me to find you and take you back to her office."

"Why?"

"Not sure, she told me that she had something to tell both of us, and that it was quickest to do it together."

Shinji hesitated for a second before saying, "You don't think she's gonna like...give us a talk or anything...like about-"

"As if I want to hear a woman in her late twenties talking about that kind of stuff," said Asuka with disgust on her face. "And besides...why would you even think she'd want to talk to us about that?"

"No reason," said Shinji hurriedly.

Asuka looked at him mildly for a few seconds before she sighed and said, "Pervert," hitting him on the head with her fist.

* * *

"School?" asked Shinji with a confused look on his face.

"Did you not think that you'd have to continuing going or something?" replied Misato with a surprised look on her face. Asuka, meanwhile, who was standing next to Shinji looked as though she had just swallowed antifreeze. They were again back in Misato's office, having just heard that they were supposed to return to school...today.

"No, not really," said Shinji in all honesty. "I didn't think that I'd be allowed to go back...not that I ever really wanted to."

"You're still children and as such your education is still important."

"I've already been through college," argued Asuka, "and the Japanese school system sucks anyway."

"Yes, but you are still woefully inadequate when it comes to recognizing modern kanji. Typical Japanese students know upward of two thousand different kanji characters by graduation. In fact, Shinji knows more characters than you."

"So, he is Japanese. If he didn't know more kanji than me, I'd consider him retarded."

"Thanks," whispered Shinji feeling slightly annoyed at her insult. "But isn't school closing soon? Would there be much of a point in going right now?

In response, Misato held up two bags that she had apparently prepared ahead of time.

"I'm your guardian, so if you think about skipping I assure you that I will hear of it. And it wont be just you two either, Rei is returning today also."

"The pet?" asked Asuka with a raised eyebrow. "I thought she was too important for school."

Misato chose to ignore her comment and continued.

"While it is almost noon, I thought that it would be good to go anyway since you need to get in the habit of learning again."

"This is stupid," said Asuka with no attempt at hiding her displeasure.

Again, Misato ignored her comment.

"On another note...well this is more for Shinji, but you've been cleared for returning to our apartment for the time being."

Shinji felt Asuka stir next to him and had to hold back the urge to turn and grin at her. Instead, he settled on looking mildly puzzled while he asked, "Why the sudden change in...the way I'm viewed?"

Misato paused for a moment, wondering if he was angry or not before she said, "For now, its been determined that you're able to return to the apartment...and school. Though I must express you to never use your...AT-field, around other humans."

Shinji frowned at her saying, "I have enough common sense to know that already. And its not as though I'm blatantly using it."

"I know but...it is a rather delicate situation. To be honest, Nerv operatives will be maintaining a constant watch on you in case something ever happens."

"Which it wont," mumbled Shinji under his breath, clearly annoyed at the sudden intrusion into his life...not to mention his time with Asuka.

After that, Shinji wordlessly grabbed one of the bags out of Misato's hands and left the room, leaving Asuka and Misato looking at each other.

Sighing lightly, Asuka said, "Sorry about that. I'll berate him later for this."

"Don't bother," said Misato as she sat down in her chair and leaned back. "I don't really blame him for feeling annoyed about all this. If I had people watching me every second of my life I'd probably go insane. Honestly, I'm impressed at how well he's handled everything...though I should attribute some of that to yourself. Great job on the test today by the way. Your sync ratio was well above normal values...its better than when you first arrived here actually."

Asuka tried to not looked too pleased with herself, but her cheeks did turn slightly pink at what Misato had said about her and Shinji.

"Well I suppose that you should be leaving also," said Misato as she handed Asuka her bag. "Rei will be waiting for you guys at gate four. I'll be back at the apartment between five and six or so, and I'll want an accurate account of what you did at school today."

"M'kay," nodded Asuka as she took the bag out of Misato's hands and started walking towards.

"And Asuka," said Misato calling after her.

"Huh?" asked Asuka as she turned around, her flaming red hair spilling over her shoulders.

"Look after Shinji when you can...he's rather hard headed sometimes. But I feel as though you're the only one that he'll listen to."

"Will do," said Asuka, anxious not to let Shinji spend more than a few seconds alone with Rei.

* * *

"So you finally get to leave that stuffy place after being there for so long," said Asuka with a slight smirk on her face.

"I suppose," replied Shinji, "though being followed around doesn't feel like very much like freedom." As he said this, he had to hold back the urge to look all around him, trying to find anybody that he thought in the least bit suspicious.

Shinji, Asuka, and Rei were walking together down the sidewalks on there way to school. Shinji walked in the middle with Asuka on his right and Rei on his left. Asuka didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact that Rei was with them, trying to always keep Shinji looking at her. Unfortunately for her however, Shinji purposely kept trying to draw Rei into conversation with little success. The most she said was like six words, which he supposed was a considerable amount considering who he was trying to talk to.

"That means you can cook again," said Asuka, in what she hoped wasn't too excited a tone.

"What? Nerv food not quite up to your standards?" he asked, completely seeing through her vague statement.

"Well its not that its bad or anything...you're just a better cook is all," said Asuka, mumbling the last part of the sentence.

Shinji laughed lightly at that. "Well I can't deny that I'd like something that didn't come in a tray that looked as though I was in the military...which I suppose is kinda ironic. But I suppose its fine...anything you want specifically?"

"Nope," she said. "Whatever you decide on is fine."

"I suppose that I should grab a few things after school then. I can't imagine Misato has much in the way of ingredients after me being gone for almost two weeks."

Asuka hesitated for a second before she said, "I'll come with you."

Shinji thought about that for a moment. As much as he'd enjoy spending time with Asuka when nobody was around to interfere, he kinda wanted to do the shopping himself. That and he had something else on his mind.

"No...I think I'll go by myself this time."

"Oh...okay," said Asuka quietly, not entirely happy with his decision.

Shinji heard the downheartedness in her voice but tried to ignore it.

"C'mon," said Shinji. "If we don't hurry we'll miss class altogether."

* * *

School was much the same as Shinji had remembered it...stupid and tedious. The only thing that he was grateful for was that he only had to sit through an hour before the final bell rang. Kensuke and Touji were both glad to see that Shinji was back and seemed to be intact. They seemed to have been under the impression that with the last angel attack, he had lost several limbs. Though of course as they saw him it was obvious they were poorly informed. Even Asuka seemed to have hit it off quickly with Hikari and they were both chatting animatedly through class, though Shinji couldn't help notice the quick glances from Asuka directed at himself. It even seemed that they might be going somewhere after school for a bit. Shinji didn't mind that at all, because considering what he was going to do...well...she'd bight his head off for sure.

After school, Shinji parted with Asuka quickly and shrugged Kensuke and Touji off who had planned on going to the arcade. As if he had time for something like that. Besides, his chief concern right now was Rei.

He wasn't sure if it had something to do with what she had said about the fourth child, or because after there brief conversation earlier, he felt drawn to her in some way. Either way, he felt as though he needed to have a long talk with her. So after standing outside the school gates for what felt like an extra hour, he finally heard footsteps behind him and turned to see her walking towards him.

"I had thought that you might have left," said Shinji naturally as though she was a good friend that he often hung out with.

Shinji waited for a reply from her but didn't get it until she was walking past him.

"I was asked to stay behind to clean the classroom," she said quite unnaturally

"If I'd known that I would have helped. You should have asked me."

Rei was silent as though she hadn't heard him.

"Were is the pilot of Unit 02?" she asked instead.

Shinji raised an eyebrow at her, surprised that somebody could address a person they worked with in such a formal way.

"Who Asuka? She went with Hikari, the class rep."

"Why are you not with her?"

"I-" Shinji hesitated. "Well I had some other things that I needed to take care of. I need to get some food for dinner tonight...and I thought I'd talk to you about some...things..."

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah...like what you said about the fourth child."

"The fourth child?" asked Rei

"You said that that might have been found."

Rei paused for a moment before she said, "Captain Katsuragi may know more."

"Who chooses us?"

"Us?"

"People like us...children pilots I mean. I had heard before that Touji had been a candidate at one point, but nothing ever came of it."

Rei continued walking down the sidewalk in silence, ignoring his question if that was even possible with her.

Feeling slightly annoyed Shinji instead said, "What is my father planning?"

Rei paused again, but this time Shinji thought he sensed a slight change in her. Almost as though something was seeping through the cracks of armor that she had erected against her emotions.

Turning around she said, "Your father? The commander?"

"I know he's planning something with me...why else would he let me roam freely like this. Though of course he does have people nearby to watch."

"I do not understand," she said truthfully.

"You don't understand? How could you not, you're always around him?" said Shinji letting his anger towards his father get the better of him. "Why else would he bother running all those tests on me? He doesn't care about me, all he cares about are his stupid projects."

Rei blinked once as though she was showing surprise and walked slowly towards Shinji who had stopped walking.

As Rei got closer, almost as close as he and Asuka had been recently, he noticed that her eyes boor a strange resemblance to his own when he was influenced by his angel self.

'She has the same red eyes I sometimes do,' he thought. 'Almost as though she's-'

Rei drew her hand back and whipped it forward with a sudden rush of wind, striking Shinji across his left cheek, leaving the skin raw. It was a matter of Rei doing something so completely out of character that Shinji's head didn't spring backwards after she hit him, but instead leaned to the right and stayed there for a second. Shinji's eyes then slowly traveled away from the sidewalk and focused on Rei instead, and if Shinji didn't know any better, he would guess that Rei was shocked by her own actions.

Clearing his throat loudly, Shinji said, "Um...Ayanami?"

At first she didn't reply, still confused at how she had reacted. But slowly, she looked at the palm of her hand which had struck Shinji and said quietly, "Your father isn't like that."

Without another word, she bowed before Shinji, turned around, and walked away at a brisk pace. As Shinji saw her leaving, he quickly stretched out his hand in gesture for her to stay, but he would have had better lucky shouting. Slowly his hand dropped down to his side while he quietly rebuked his rash actions.

'Damn it...well this sucks,' he thought.

Burying his hands in his pockets, he continued standing on the sidewalk for a few minutes, until he finally turned around and decided that he may as well get the groceries for dinner tonight. Though as he started walking in the direction of the nearest supermarket, he paused and looked outward towards the waterfront of downtown Tokyo-3. In the distance, the damage that the angel had managed to inflict could still be seen. The shipyards that littered the Bay of Tokyo-3 were crumbled and the concrete slabs had been tossed to and fro by the angel. Even smaller office building had been completely ripped apart by the angel AT-field and left floating in the water. Shinji couldn't help but be surprised that people hadn't caught onto Nerv's true agenda before this. But he guessed it just proved that people didn't like their daily lives to be interrupted.

'Why do I feel as though I should walk down there?' he wondered. He'd never had any urge to see something like this before. It was the type of thing that Kensuke would enjoy.

"Well whatever," he said into the open air. "I suppose Asuka and Hikari will hang on for a while so I guess I have time to kill."

* * *

He had rarely been down to the waterfront where the ships docked and supplies were sent to other parts of Japan. He'd never really had a reason until now.

As he turned the corner around a small office building, he could see the devastation that lay just ahead of him. Much of Tokyo-3 rested on sedimentary rock, meaning that the ground was rather unstable in certain parts. The waterfront in particular had been created by moving dirt from many of the mountains that littered the landscape of Tokyo-3. Something of a makeshift offshoot of the mainland had been created specifically to transport goods and maintain the growing need of supplies as more and more people moved to Tokyo-3. Needless to say, the instant the angel attacked this part of Tokyo-3, the entire infrastructure crumbled. While much of Tokyo-3 rested on moving metallic plates which could retract inside the Geofront if need be, the waterfront had not had this security measure installed.

Standing several blocks away from the waterfront, Shinji could just see towering pieces of metal which he guessed were once part of large warehouses. Continuing to walk downward, he saw several cars pass by him, but didn't take any notice of him. Along the waterfront, a strip of pavement ran along the waterfront, making a half circle around the entire city before disappearing through a tunnel and into the mountains where it likely joined up with Tokyo-2.

As Shinji reached this road, he crossed and looked over the embankment down into the ruin of the waterfront. Twisted pieces of metal stuck out of the water on what the docks used to rest on. Much of the bay was congealed with loose pieces of wood that were splintered on both ends. Several craters littered the embankment that Shinji was standing on, and he took several hasty steps back in fear of the dirt giving way. Outwards a ways into the bay, a large barge lay tipped on its side while a large hole in the aft end of it leaked oil and took on water. All that was left of the large warehouses were the foundations, as the concrete had flown through the air and sunk to the bottom of the bay. Overall, it wasn't a very happy reminder of what could have been.

Walking closer now, Shinji peered over the edge and thought he saw a way to get down without sinking into any of the pits. And so, ducking under the yellow security tape that he completely ignored, he slowly made his way down the embankment.

Reaching the bottom quicker than he intended, he hit the hard ground and ran forward, the speed that he had gain going down the hill still present, before he slowed to a jog and finally into a walk.

He supposed that what he saw intrigued him in someways. The sheer devastation that the angels (and himself) inflicted on the landscape hardly ever crossed his mind. And here, he hadn't even been involved with the battle yet.

Walking forward a little more, he grabbed a small piece of what he guessed at one time had been a slab of concrete, and threw it with all his might through the air until it eventually dropped and splashed into the water.

"I wouldn't do that...you'll disturb the fish," said a voice to his left.

Shinji jumped so badly that for a second his feet left his shoes. Spinning around to his left, he saw what he had missed before. A twisted piece of metal was standing erect out of the water. It twisted straight upwards for a while until it curved inward, creating a C like shape. Sitting with his back again this C shape was a boy of around Shinji's age. His hair was white, tinged with very small strands of grey. His clothes were much the same as Shinji's: boring white with matching black pants. But his eyes, thats what first put Shinji on guard. His eyes were the same as Rei's, the same as his sometimes. But for all Shinji's sudden skepticism, he was still curious. He was certain he had not sensed anybody else's presence except his own until just now. It was almost as though this boy suddenly appeared out of thin air.

"Why?" asked Shinji.

"Because they're living on this planet just as you and I are."

Shinji was silent for a second after this vague explanation until he finally asked, "Who...are you?"

The boy turned to him and with a small smile said, "Me? I am Kaoru, Nagisa Kaoru."

Shinji frowned at the name. It was Japanese, but the boy didn't look the least bit Japanese.

"...What are you doing here?" Shinji asked.

"The same thing you're doing I suppose," he replied, still smiling away. "Enjoying the time you have to yourself."

Shinji was rather surprised at that. Was that why he had taken this unexpected detour? To have some time by himself?

"How do you know that?" asked Shinji.

"I can't think of any other reason a person would be here."

"...But you're here?"

"Yes I am. Just as you are here. Just as the fish are here. Just as everything will be here when the Lilim are gone."

The word seemed to jog a memory in his mind, a very pale memory for some reason, as though he was seeing it through very foggy glasses.

"Lilim?"

Kaoru was silent for a minute in response to Shinji's question, while Shinji started thinking, 'This is kid is kinda weird...'

"Humans if you prefer then. Humans will be gone long before anything else disappears."

"...But you're a humans yourself."

"True...very true," mumbled Kaoru more to himself than anything.

Standing up suddenly, he jumped down from the metal beam he had been resting on, turned towards Shinji and said, "Everything passes by sooner or later...Ikari Shinji-kun."

Shinji's eyes widened at that, but suddenly he felt like he had known this person for a long time.

"How do you know me?"

Kaoru laughed lightly at that. "You don't set much store by you...do you Ikari-kun?"

Shinji narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "Its Shinji, and where have you heard of me?"

"Where else but Nerv," said Kaoru as he smiled. "I'm the fourth child after all."

Shinji had to do a double take at that.

"...What did you say?"

"I am the fourth child. I am a pilot like you."

Walking towards him, Kaoru stuck out his hand and said, "I look forward to working with you Shinji-kun."

Shinji continued looking at him for a few seconds longer, before he unclenched his right hand and placed it in Kaoru's right hand.

"Likewise," mumbled Shinji, never taking his eyes off of Kaoru's blood red eyes.

* * *

"What happened?" asked Asuka the minute Shinji walked over the threshold of Misato's apartment. "You took forever to get back home."

"Sorry," mumbled Shinji. "I got...sidetracked."

"Misato was wondering where you went...well, both of us were I suppose."

"Sorry," mumbled Shinji again.

It was well after five o'clock and already passed dark when Shinji finally made his way back to the apartment. After his strange conversation with Kaoru, he had a lot on his mind and ended up wandering the streets of Tokyo-3 for several hours. But no matter what Kaoru had said, Shinji kept on returning to the eyes that were so much like Rei's...so much like his own.

Walking into the kitchen, Shinji saw that Misato was already sitting there in a tank top and shorts and was drinking a beer.

"What happened to dinner?" asked Misato with a raised eyebrow.

Shrugging Shinji said, "I lost track of time."

Sighing Misato said, "Well its a good thing that me and Asuka ate already."

Turning around to face Asuka, Shinji asked, "You ate already?"

"Well...me a Hikari went out shopping and she was kinda hungry after a while, so we both got something to eat." After a few seconds in which Asuka saw the look that Shinji was giving her she said, "What? Its not like I was bound by what I said earlier."

"Well no but...what about you then Misato?"

"I ended up eating with Ritsuko and...Kaji while at Nerv."

"Well at least I don't have to worry about running down to the convenience store and getting anything," mumbled Shinji as he sank into one of the kitchen chairs across from Misato.

Walking around to the other of the kitchen table, Asuka sank likewise into a chair and asked, "So where'd you go."

"I...actually went down to the waterfront..."

Misato who had been halfway to taking a sip of her beer suddenly lowered it from her lips and asked, "Why'd you go there?"

"Not sure...just wanted to think about some things I guess."

"Well its not safe down there...didn't you see the yellow security tape."

"Yes, and I can handle myself."

"Thats what I'm afraid of," sighed Misato as she took a large gulp of beer.

"So we have to go to school again tomorrow?" asked Asuka without much hope.

"Yes, and while we're on the subject, Shinji you still haven't told me about your day at school."

"Won't it just be the same as Asuka's..."

"Not necessarily."

"Just tell her about it already!" said Asuka becoming annoyed as she stood up and vacated to the living room.

Shinji waited until Asuka was out of ear shot and until he could hear the T.V. blaring before he said, "Misato I have something else that I wanted to tell you."

"Without Asuka here?"

"Preferably...yes."

"...So what is it?"

"Have you...heard anything about the fourth child?"

Misato blinked several times before she drained her beer and slammed it down on the kitchen table. Thankfully, Asuka didn't think anything of it since Misato normally did that after drinking a beer.

"...Why do you want to know?" she asked hesitantly.

"Because I...well I met him," said Shinji throwing caution to the winds.

"...And? How did he seem to you?"

"I don't know...he's different then the rest of us...even Ayanami."

Misato then sighed, standing up and taking her beer with her. Tossing it in the recycling bin next to the kitchen she walked over to the sink and turned to faucet on full force. Turning back around, she said to Shinji while leaning against the counter, "I don't know much about him...but be wary of him."

"...Do you know something about him that I don't?"

Misato paused for a minute before she said, "Do you know about Seele?"

"Vaguely," replied Shinji.

"The fourth child comes directly from them...they chose him. All records of a life he may have had have all been erased. He is certainly different then Asuka...but..."

"...Is he like me then?" asked Shinji, clearly voicing what Misato had been thinking.

Misato shook her head in response. "I don't know for sure. I've heard that his sync ratio is abnormally high like your own, but as for any...exhibition of angel powers I'm not sure. Ritsuko is supposed to run tests on him tomorrow, but I don't think she'll find anything suspicious. The fact that he is directly backed by Seele is what makes me suspicious."

"So be careful in other words."

"Correct..."

"And could you not mention any of this to Asuka?"

"...Why?"

"I don't...want her involved in this anymore than she already is."

"Shinji she's-"

"I know! She's an Evangelion pilot like me...but even so, certain things she'd be better off not knowing."

"Shinji...I mean...you two are so deeply involved with not only each, but Nerv also, that I can't see the reason in not telling her this. She's gonna find out about it eventually."

"I know but..."

"Then if you want some personal advice...don't keep secrets from each other."

"Is that why you and Kaji split?" asked Shinji.

"...No. If our problems were as simple as that...well this isn't about me and him anyway. Trust comes in many different forms, and keeping secrets is one of those things that can destroy a relationship."

Shinji was silent for a moment while he contemplated Misato's words.

"And you'd better tell her before tonight ends," said Misato as she walked by Shinji, heading towards her own room. "Because chances are that they'll meet tomorrow."

As Misato closed the door to her room, Shinji stood up and turned off the faucet that Misato had left running. Turning around, he glanced at the opening to the living room where he could see the glow of the T.V. and hear the blaring of German coming out of it.

'Maybe later,' he thought, as he walked towards the bathroom, intent on taking a shower.

* * *

His 'maybe later' thought turned into 'several hours later' as it was well after eleven by the time Shinji got around to telling Asuka about what had happened between himself and Kaoru.

After his shower, Shinji felt so relaxed that he had completely forgotten how hungry he was and went straight to his room and eventually fell asleep listening to his SDAT. When he awoke though, the first thing he checked was his alarm clock. Suddenly he scrambled out of the covers that covered his body, and sat bolt upright reaching blinding for the light switch.

'Damn it...I overslept,' he thought as he opened the sliding door quietly, so as not to wake anybody that might be sleeping. Peering out, the first thing he noticed was that the T.V. was still on, and yet all the other lights in the apartment were turned off.

Tiptoeing out of his room he reached the entrance into the living room and looked in. A late night Japanese game show seemed to be on and a contestant had just won some prize money it seemed, though this was only the second thing that Shinji recognized. On the couch against the left wall was a small figure that was curled into a ball and clearly sleeping. Trying to suppress the laughter that was threatening to explode out of him, Shinji crept a little closer.

Asuka had fallen asleep watching T.V. which didn't surprise Shinji that much since it had happened before. Looking down at her peaceful sleeping face, he couldn't help but smile at how serene she looked. But as he continued watching her sleeping face, he noticed that she wasn't wearing the warmest of clothes.

'I should get some blankets for her,' he thought before he quietly walked out of the room and opened the small closet that was next to the bathroom.

Fishing one of the larger blankets out of the closet, he walked back into the living room and covered her with it, tucking the corners under the couch cushion. Standing there for a few seconds longer he thought, 'I suppose I can tell her tomorrow anyway...before we go to school.'

Turning around, he intended to go back into his own room and flop down on his futon when he felt light pressure against the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. Looking down at the hem of his shirt, he saw that a hand was holding onto it. Trailing up the arm to the face, he saw that Asuka was looking groggily back at him.

"What are you doing?" she managed to spit out while her eyes remained half closed.

"Sorry...I thought you were asleep."

"Well I _was_ until somebody decided to make a racket and cover me with a giant blanket."

"I figured you were cold..."

"Forget it," said Asuka as she sat up. "I'm awake now and I assume that you didn't just come out here in the middle of the night to watch me sleep."

"You're the one that decided to fall asleep while watching T.V."

"I only fell asleep because I was waiting for you!"

It took Asuka's words a few seconds to sink in before Shinji asked, "What?"

"Are you deaf? I said I was waiting here for you...why didn't come in here after you took your shower?"

"I...I don't know really. I guess I felt tired."

Asuka had to refrain from snorting.

"So...why were you waiting for me?" Shinji asked in attempted conversation.

"...Because we hardly talked to each other today. First it was the test, then we had to walk to school together with the pet, and afterwards we both did our own things after school."

"Err...am I understanding that you missed spending time with me together."

"Is that a problem?" asked Asuka with a trace of anger in her voice.

"Not at all," replied Shinji hurriedly. "Its just...the old you never would have said something like this."

"Whats that supposed to mean!" she asked getting sincerely angry this time.

"Just that you're more opening towards me than you ever used to be."

Silence ensued between them at Shinji's last words.

"I suppose I am more open than I used to be," said Asuka as her anger subsided. "Though I think the blame has to be laid on you." Turning towards Shinji, she said, "Annoying as it has been sometimes having to deal with you every day...I'm different because of you...and its made me a better person."

"Thanks...I think."

"...Moron," sighed Asuka as she hit him lightly in the shoulder.

"I do have something to say to you actually, instead of just staring at your sleeping face."

Asuka narrowed her eyes and said, "Watch it. I may be less abrasive, but I don't want to hear crap like that."

Shinji rolled his eyes slightly before he continued.

"Anyways...well I want you to promise me that you'll keep in mind what I'm about to say."

Asuka frowned at him for a second before she said, "Is this really necessary?"

"I wouldn't have woken you up if I had thought this was important..."

"So tell me what it is already?"

"Asuka...you have promise me first."

"Okay fine! I promise to keep in mind whatever you're about to tell me," said Asuka with about as much enthusiasm as pulling teeth.

Shinji looked at her for a while longer, determining whether she was serious over what she had promised.

"Well...I wasn't entirely honest earlier...about being down at the waterfront."

"So what? You were doing something else then?"

"Well no...I mean...I was down at the waterfront, but I met somebody there."

Asuka paused for a second before she asked with a frown on he face, "You weren't with the pet were you."

"No, of course not," said Shinji hurriedly. Though he'd no sooner tell Asuka that he talked with Rei after school then ask his father for an increase in his wages.

"I met...well I met the fourth child."

"...The fourth...what?"

"Kaoru...Nagisa Kaoru is his name..and he's like us. A pilot I mean."

"Why are you telling me this exactly? This is something that I would have found out for myself eventually you know."

"He's...I don't know how to describe him really. He's not like you...but he may be like me."

Asuka hesitated for a second before she asked, "What do you mean, 'he may be like me?'"

"He may be able to use an AT-field. I don't know for certain, but Misato seemed to think he was strange."

"You told her about this before me?" asked Asuka slightly accusingly.

"I wanted to know what she thought..."

"And so what you made me promise..."

"That you'll watch out for him...just...be careful when around him. I don't...trust him."

"Why though? Why go to all this trouble to just tell me this? You could have done it anytime really."

"I just...I didn't want to keep this from you," said Shinji not entirely truthfully. "And I don't want anything to happen to you because I wasn't honest."

"Shinji, how many times do I have to tell you, I can take care of myself."

"Yes, I know Asuka...but, the thought of anything happening to you..."

Shinji petered off at the end of his sentence, but he didn't really need to say anything. Asuka understood what he was getting at.

"I'll be fine," she said as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Nothing is going to happen to me."

Shinji nodded, but at the same time felt an unexplainable uneasiness that he could ignore. Placing a hand of his own over Asuka's which was resting on his shoulders, he squeezed her hand gently in understanding.

"C'mon...we should probably get to bed," said Asuka the second Shinji's hand left hers.

"Right," said Shinji, recognizing the subtle hint that Asuka was getting at.

Getting up off the couch, Shinji and Asuka walked towards there respectable rooms where they both parted with a brief, 'Night.'

Inside his own room, Shinji flopped down on his futon and briefly wished that Asuka was sleeping next to him.

* * *

Kaoru sat on top of the tallest building in Tokyo-3 with his legs outstretched and hanging over the side.

"So thats Gendo's son...Ikari Shinji huh?" he said to no one in particular. Though someone did answer.

"Correct," said a deep male voice.

Suddenly from all around him, twelve large black pillars appeared each with the words SEELE and a number written underneath.

As the black pillars fully materialized around him, Kaoru thought, 'All things must pass Shinji-kun...including your own existence.


	21. Severed Memories

**Don't have much to say about this one really. Just read it and tell me what you think.**

* * *

"I don't care what you say," replied Touji gruffly at Hikari's suggestion. "Cooking is not something a guy should know. Thats a woman's job."

"Fine then! I hope you starve when you start living on your own," retorted Hikari angrily.

Shinji, Asuka, and Kensuke simply sighed at the two's usual bickering. In fact, they were something of the new Shinji and Asuka pair.

The six of them: Shinji, Asuka, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari, and even Rei, were sitting together on top the roof of the school. After much asking from both Touji and Kensuke, Shinji had relented and made a large boxed bento that had something that everybody liked, including Rei, who Shinji had learned was not fond of meat. It had now been several days since Asuka and Shinji returned to there somewhat daily lives, and they were just starting to get used to being back at school.

"Touji wont be living on his own anytime soon," said Kensuke. "Most likely he'll live with his parents years after he finishes middle school."

Seconds later, Kensuke was forced to run around the rooftop, as Touji chased after him.

"I have to say Asuka," said Hikari as she grabbed another piece of Takoyaki, "living with Shinji must not be that bad if you get to eat food like this everyday."

"Its really not that great," said Asuka, hiding her true feelings.

"How did you learn to cook like this Shinji?" asked Hikari.

Shrugging he said, "I've had a lot of experience. Ah...Ayanami, more miso soup?"

As Shinji leaned towards Rei with the canister of soup in his hand, Asuka couldn't help but frown at the two. Since there return to school, Shinji had been increasingly interacting with Rei more than he ever used to, and quite frankly, it was starting to annoy her. She didn't mind so much if they walked to school together, since her and Shinji usually just talked to each other anyway. But when he asked her if she wanted to have lunch on the roof with the rest of them...well, she showed her displeasure about it.

"...Thank you," replied Rei seemingly unsure of herself, still getting used to being included in the group. Since she had slapped Shinji, he had not broached the subject of his father at all towards her. Meanwhile, she was still confused over how she had reacted.

"Did you hear that we were supposed to get a new transfer students today?" asked Kensuke, sitting down now that Touji had worn himself out.

"Isn't a little late in the day? Schools already half over," said Asuka.

"Well, thats just what I heard," replied Kensuke quickly, not wanting to upset Asuka in any way, seeing as though she wasn't in the best of moods.

Huffing slightly, Asuka mumbled, "Whats the point of getting a new student this late in the year."

Not quite surprising that he managed to hear her, seeing as how he was right next to her, Shinji said, "I wonder if its a boy or girl?"

Before Asuka was able to retort angrily at his remark, Touji managed to beat him to it.

"I hope its a girl. All the girls in our class are either psychotic, a mother hen, or have horns growing out of their head."

Shinji was able to hold back a snicker, but he wasn't able to do anything for Touji, for both Asuka and Hikari punched him in the gut. Asuka however continued glaring at Shinji, wondering what his opinion on the whole thing was, and constantly flitting her eyes between Shinji and Rei.

"Well, thanks for the lunch anyway Shinji," said Hikari as she stood up, dragging an unconscious Touji with her as she went. Kensuke followed shortly after then, giving Shinji a little mock bow and whispered in his ear his regards over having to deal with Asuka the rest of the day. Shinji simply grimaced back at him, only too aware of scathing look that Asuka was throwing in his direction.

"Well there gone finally," said Asuka as Kensuke closed the door leading back towards the classrooms. "Remind me to kick you if you ever decide to make a lunch everybody can share again."

"I thought it was best to just get it out of the way, since Touji and Kensuke weren't gonna let me live peacefully unless they tried my cooking."

"Well, don't do it again," said Asuka as she stood up.

"What?" asked Shinji slightly smug, "want to keep my not so great food to yourself?"

Trying to keep her blush at a minimum, Asuka managed to say, "What was I supposed to say? That it was to die for. Its good, but not that good."

"Yeah, yeah," said Shinji as he stood up. "We should probably start heading back to class. Ayanami ready?"

Asuka's features immediately scrunched up the second Shinji addressed the fact that Rei was still there with them. She had been trying her utmost to ignore her.

Shaking her head slowly, Rei said, "I think I'll stay out a while longer."

"You sure?" asked Shinji, his prior hesitancy over talking to her mostly gone.

Rei simply nodded her head.

"Well..okay. See you in class then."

Gathering the boxed lunch and chopsticks they had used, he placed them all in a bag he had brought and hoisted it over his shoulder.

"Ready?" asked Asuka as she held the door open, revealing the staircase behind.

Sighing slightly, Shinji said, "...Whenever."

* * *

After school, Shinji and Asuka ended up walking home alone. Recently, Shinji had convinced Rei to walk home with them, since her apartment was on the way towards there's. But today she had stayed back because of cleaning duties. Normally, Shinji and Asuka were able to talk about almost anything, but Asuka's mood had steadily deteriorated as the day continued, until she lashed out at him with a quick remark, stingy him significantly. Now they walked home as if they looked like an old married couple, conversation having been exhausted long ago during the springtime of their marriage.

But Shinji had more on his mind, and oddly enough it had to do with the transfer student thing. Asuka needn't worry about whether Shinji thought it was a boy or girl, because he thought it could only be one person...Nagisa Kaoru.

Since that day Shinji had met him, both him, Asuka, and Rei had had two synchronization tests, neither of which they heard anything about the fourth child. Above it all, he had a nagging suspicion (based on what Misato had said) that his father was silently worrying about Kaoru. If he came straight from Seele, and if his assumptions about Seele were correct, Kaoru had been sent as something of an agent to check up on his father and himself. No doubt word of Shinji's...odd prowess would have reached the ears of Seele...whoever they were exactly.

"Hey...Shinji?" asked Asuka suddenly, pulling Shinji out of his train of thought.

Shinji ignored her for a minute, but found that it was virtually impossible when she was walking directly beside him, her eyes focused on his face.

"Hmmm?" he decided to reply, not quite ready to say anything.

"Why...why...why are you talking to the pet so much!" she managed to yell, voicing what had been troubling her these past few days.

It was a matter of Asuka asking him something so strange that Shinji didn't immediately start laughing.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...you've been talking to her more, including her in stuff we do together, and today; why did you ask her to have lunch with us!"

"Why not? She's like us. She's a fellow pilot."

"No, she's not like us," said Asuka, shaking her head splendidly. "She's different than us!"

"Then I'm different than you!" yelled Shinji, his anger suddenly flaring up.

"Shinji wha-"

Turning away from her, Shinji said, "You wouldn't understand what its like to be shunned, to be ignored by everybody. You've always craved attention, and you got it. She's the same as I was...all alone. I can't help it if I want to be her friend, because we both know the pain of loneliness."

"Shin-"

"What!"

"Don't...don't do that to me."

"Do what?"

"Saying I craved attention!" she spat out. "That I don't understand what you felt! I know plenty well what it feels like to be isolated!"

"Asuka I didn't-"

"Forget it," she said as she stalked past him. "I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Asuka wait!"

"No I won't," she said as she started to break into a run. But Shinji wasn't going to let her go.

"Asuka!" he said as he grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"What!" she snapped at him as she turned to face him. "Let go of me you moron before I kick you in the-"

"Asuka listen for just a sec-"

"No I wont ass-hole!"

"Asuka, Ayanami's like me, she's-"

"You already told me that you moron!"

"No...I mean-"

Asuka yanked her hand out of Shinji's grasp and took several steps away from him. Rubbing her wrist slightly she glanced back at Shinji who was staring down at the sidewalk and thought, 'God...when did he get so strong?'

"So what _did_ you mean then?" asked Asuka, her voice filled with spite.

Shinji looked away from the sidewalk and back at Asuka with a glum look on his face. Running a hand through his hair, he looked as though he was preparing himself for something. Asuka was so shocked at the sudden change in his demeanor that she was about say she was sorry, when Shinji brought his right hand up and seemed to place it over an invisible wall to the right of him. Asuka's mouth opened with a gasp as a brief flash of orange light lit up the sidewalk they were standing on. As her vision returned to her though, she saw that an orange like triangle seemed to be frozen in midair directly where Shinji's hand was placed palm outwards.

"Shin-"

"I don't know for certain," he replied quietly, cutting her off, "but I think she can create an AT-field also. Me, Ayanami, and Kaoru. We're all linked in someway...I just don't know how."

As Shinji turned towards her, Asuka couldn't help but feel a little afraid as his blood red eyes stared back at her.

"This is only your second time seeing me like this," Shinji said, "so I can understand if you're afraid. Last time you saw me like this I killed someone."

"Shinji...you shouldn't," she attempted.

"If Nerv agents are watching right now...I don't care. Its progressed though...the eyes only used to change sometimes, and they only ever flashed a brief scarlet. After the previous angel battle though, I think my angel half started to gain more control. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, only to find that my eyes have changed colors."

"Shinji..."

"Hmmm?"

"Do you...feel different."

Shinji took a few seconds to reply before he said, "A little I suppose. My body temperature seems to be warmer when I'm like this. And my senses are certainly heightened, but I think the same and feel the same."

"Can I...I mean..."

"What?" asked Shinji rather skeptical, but Asuka was already taking several tenuous steps towards him, still feelings unsure of herself. Though as she got directly in front of him, her head tilted up to see him, and Shinji had to look away.

"I should dissipate the AT-filed," he said hurriedly, "My eyes should revert to their normal color shortly after."

"One-second," said Asuka as she slowly reached a hand up and placed it against Shinji's cheek, making him flinch.

"Asuka...what are you-" But she completely ignored him, continuing to stroke his cheek with her hand.

"I shouldn't have shown you this," he finally said. "I told myself that I wouldn't let you be anymore involved with Nerv and everything else than you already are."

"A bit late for that," replied Asuka softly. "In fact, I think it was a bit late the moment a met you."

"Well...maybe," said Shinji slightly sheepish. "We should stop this though...who knows when someone will come around the corner," he said while gesturing behind them at the corner they had rounded earlier.

"Right," said Asuka, taking a step away from him.

Shinji then lowered his right hand and dissipated the AT-field, and shortly after, his eyes turned back to the normal brown.

"Why do you care for her all the sudden?" asked Asuka suddenly.

"Who?"

"The pet...Rei, I mean."

Shinji was rather surprised that she had called Rei by her name. He had never heard her call Rei anything other than 'the pet.'

"Because...she's alone like I was, and I don't want anybody else to have to feel that."

"Did you ever think how I felt about that? That you're suddenly talking to her...I mean...how I feel about you...and-"

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "Its not like that, and it never will be Asuka. You know how I feel about you as well..."

They had rarely talked about their feelings for each other, and suddenly because of Asuka's jealousy it came bubbling to the surface.

"This isn't something we should talk about...especially right here," said Shinji finally

Asuka continued gazing at him for a moment, looking rather forlorn until she said, "We should probably get back to the apartment."

"Yeah...probably," replied Shinji, suddenly feeling like taking a stroll around Tokyo-3 with Asuka. Though as they started taking a few steps forward, Asuka's cell phone rang. Fishing it out of one of her pockets, she flipped it open, listened to the person on the other end for a few seconds and closed it with a snap.

"Whats up?" asked Shinji, knowing to well what the response would be.

Frowning down at her cell phone, Asuka said, "That was Misato. It seems the next angel has been detected just outside the earths atmosphere."

"...What?"

"I know...I don't see how we destroy it if its all the way up there."

"Well...lets not keep her waiting at least."

"...Yeah..."

* * *

"Any idea on how we're supposed to destroy that thing yet?" asked Shinji.

Him and Asuka were already dressed down in there plug suits, and waiting on standby for the go ahead to attack the angel. So far though, no such order had come. The original plan was to attack the angel with the positron rifle used against Ramiel, but that plan was scraped, since somebody had to open a hole in the angels AT-field first.

"No, we haven't," said Fuyutsuki, who was surprisingly in charge of the operation this time. Misato stood behind him, looking rather annoyed that her position had been briefly usurped.

"We should have visual in a minute or so; the satellite should be making a pass soon."

'Just as long as it doesn't destroy the satellite first,' thought Misato.

"What about Ayanami?" asked Shinji as he looked around the command center. "Shouldn't she be here?"

"Rei arrived earlier," said Misato, but she wouldn't add where she was or what she was doing.

Asuka clicked her tongue loudly, clearly annoyed that Shinji had even brought up her name, when the subject of their earlier argument on been largely based on her.

"Visual confirmation coming on in...three..two..one. Pattern blue confirmed, no changes in energy read out...AT-field still up."

Shinji and Asuka turned towards the large screen to there left and looked at the giant object floating seamlessly in space. The entire body of the angel was purely white, while several forks that looked similar to tree branches jutted outward of the main body.

"Everything is the same as it was when it first appeared, and we're not sure what its objective seems to be. But in the mean time we want you two to wait for orders to deploy. Rei should be with you shortly."

"Fine then, lets go Shinji," Asuka said as she linked her arm around his and started dragging him towards the elevator where it would take them to the Eva chambers.

"Hold on," said Fuyutsuki quickly. "Unit 01 is to remain in the chamber unless different orders come down from the commander."

Spinning around and taking Asuka with him, Shinji retorted angrily, "What! Why am I not deploying!"

"Because after the last angel battle Unit 01 absorbed the S2 engine and we don't know what adverse effects it may have on the unit or you."

"Bullshit! I'm not letting Asuka and Ayanami fighting the angel alone. Get my father on a separate line and I'll-"

"Its your father, the commander, who expressly told me that under no circumstances were you allowed to participate in this battle. We have no idea what this new angel is capable of, and after that last we aren't taking any chances."

"So Asuka and Ayanami are just throw away lab rats!" Shinji roared. "And that you send me in after the angel is done with them!"

"You have to realize the position you're in Shinji-kun. You're unique and have the most raw potential as an Evangelion pilot...and I'm not talking synchronization tests."

"I don't care about that! What I care about is you using Asu-"

"Don't make me confine you," said Fuyutsuki with a sigh. "I don't want to resort to something like that."

"Why? Because then you'll be just like my father?"

Fuyutsuki continued staring at him until Shinji turned away and said, "Do what you want, and I'll do what I want. But remember that I wont hesitate to rip apart this facility if I think Asuka is in trouble. And that goes for Ayanami also," he added as an afterthought.

Without another word, he walked towards the elevator, slammed the down button, and disappeared.

Misato and Asuka continued looking at the elevator where he vanished while Fuyutsuki returned to the monitor and said without looking at Asuka, "Unit 00 will provide long range back up for Unit 02 if necessary. This is simply surveillance of the angel to see if it reacts to the Evangelions at all."

"And what happens if it does?" asked Misato quietly.

"Then we'll think of something," replied Fuyutsuki. Though in truth, a plan had already been decided upon, even if he didn't agree with it...

* * *

Eventually Units 00 and 02 were given the order to deploy while Shinji was left behind inside Unit 01, the freeze still in effect. When Asuka had come down the elevator, she had attempted to talk to Shinji, but he wouldn't listen. He brushed her off saying that he didn't want to talk with her right now. Asuka, however, felt as though an invisible wall had come between them.

Now though she had to attempt to clear her mind of everything related to Shinji, which was proving difficult, since he had recently been occupying most of her thoughts.

'Damn it,' she thought, slightly annoyed as she made Unit 02 crouch behind a nearby building, looking up at the small ball of light that was the angel. 'When the hell did I get so sappy?' she wondered.

She didn't have time to reflect on her feelings though as Fuyutsuki ordered her to move closer to the target.

Asuka then moved Unit 02 out from behind the building that she was currently crouched behind and started counting down the range to the target. After she reached five, she paused and ducked behind another building, wiping some sweat off her brow in the process.

'Damn...I'm gonna need a shower after this,' she thought silently.

"No change in the target," she said. "...Pe-I mean Rei, how does it look from back there?"

"No change in the target," she said repeating Asuka's words.

Asuka frowned slightly at Rei's mimicry of her words and looked back at the target.

'Just a little more,' she thought.

Rei meanwhile was many meters behind Asuka, providing cover with the positron rifle. While it was nowhere near powerful enough to destroy the angel while it stayed in space, the theory was that the angel would have to bring down its AT-field in order to attack. Therefore, Rei was providing substantial cover fire in case anything happened.

Taking a deep breath, Asuka said, "Heading towards final point, energy readouts still nominal, no change in the target."

"Proceed then," said Fuyutsuki.

Keeping low to the ground, Unit 02 ran the rest of the distance before it stood directly underneath the angel.

"Target point reached," said Asuka letting out a low sigh. "No changes...it doesn't even seem to know I'm here."

"Dr. Akagi?" asked Fuyutsuki back in the command center.

"Unknown why the angel isn't attacking," replied Ritsuko. "Perhaps it has something to do with Unit 01 and Shinji not being here. If you remember, the previous angel seemed to react when it saw Unit 01 and Shinji."

"Even so, we can't send Unit 01 out. Its too much of a risk."

"Then I suggest we have Units 00 and 02 retreat for the time being...unless you have any other ideas."

"For the time being, I don't. Unit 02 will retreat to the eleventh defensive line while Unit 00 will provide cover if necessary."

'Tch,' thought Asuka as she heard the orders. 'What the hell was even the point of this operation?' Though as she made Unit 02 turn around, the angel struck.

"Sudden spike in energy readout."

"What?" asked Fuyutsuki.

A multicolored beam suddenly shot from the white branches surrounding the angel and shrouded Unit 02.

"What is this!" asked Fuyutsuki quickly.

"The computer can't read the energy pattern, but it bears certain similarities to an angels AT-field. It seems as though the AT-field has been reversed, creating an inverse wavelength."

"Fluctuation in the pilots mental graph, synchronization down twenty percent, heart beat irregular."

Ritsuko then looked at Asuka's brain waves and said, "Is the angel trying to examine the human mind?"

"Asuka get out of there!" yelled Misato suddenly, bypassing Fuyutsuki's orders.

"No! I can still fight!"

"This is an order retrea-"

Before she could finish however, Fuyutsuki cut her off and gave orders to Rei.

"Unit 00 prepare to fire positron rifle upon target. Correct for distance...minus eight degrees."

"Understood," she said as she quickly adjusted her aim and pulled the trigger.

Almost like a bolt of blue lightning, the positron rifle discharged and fired at the angels, piercing the stratosphere of the planet. The beam rocketed toward the angel, flying straight through the seemingly transparent colored beam. Though as the beam reached the angel, it was met by an invisible wall, and suddenly it split, ricochetting to the left and right of the angel.

"The angels AT-field is still up. There's not enough energy to break through it."

'Damn,' thought Fuyutsuki silently.

"Heart beat of the pilot of 02 is still raising."

"Transfer all available power to life-support systems," said Ritsuko hurriedly.

"And have Rei get Asuka out of there!" yelled Misato, ignoring the fact that she wasn't in charge of this operation.

"No!" Asuka suddenly screamed back. "I don't want her rescuing me! Anything but her! I'd rather die than have her protecting me!"

"Asuk-"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" she suddenly screeched. "DON'T LOOK INSIDE MY MIND!"

"Mental contamination setting in."

"Forcefully eject the entry plug, get her out of there," yelled Misato.

"Unit 02 doesn't recognize the signature. The pilot has locked it from the inside."

"Heart beat continuing to rise. Vice Commander," said Ritsuko suddenly. "If this continues, the increase in the pilots blood pressure will kill her."

"I know but-"

"Kozo," said a voice suddenly behind everybody.

As everybody turned around, they saw that Gendo Ikari, the commander, had come to overlook the operation.

"Have Rei retrieve the Lance of Longinus."

Fuyutsuki blinked once to show his surprise and asked oblivious to everybody else in the room, "Isn't it to early to use it?"

"The only way to defeat an enemy from outside our atmosphere is to use the Lance of Longinus. Have Rei descend to Central Dogma and retrieve it."

This was what Fuyutsuki had feared ever since he heard the angel was outside the atmosphere. The Lance of Longinus, that which Saint Longinus pierced the side of Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God, was capable of piercing an angels AT-field.

"Very well...and what about Unit 02?"

Gendo stood still for a second before he beckoned for Fuyutsuki to follow him towards the chair that he normally sat in while overseeing any of the battles.

"Unit 02 still has its uses to us."

"And what about the pilot."

"Have Dr. Akagi prepare a replacement if need be."

"Very well," said Fuyutsuki standing to his rightful height. Turning towards the monitor, he said, "Give all priority to retrieving the Lance of Longinus. When the angel is destroyed, start the decontamination of Unit 02 and its pilot."

"Uh...sir, I have the pilot of Unit 01 on line three."

Fuyutsuki let out a sigh, he knew that this conversation would have to happen eventually, but he didn't like it anymore so. However, it looked as though he had a way out since Gendo said, "I'll receive the communication. Switch the audio control over to me."

Nodding her head, the operative differed all audio over to Gendo.

"This is the commander..."

Shinji who had not realized what was going on until just recently was rather surprised to hear his supposed father talking to him. Though as Asuka's scream replayed in his head, he said with as much strength as he could muster, "I'm deploying with Unit 01 and helping her."

"And how do you suppose you'll do that? The angel cannot be destroyed in any way you understand."

"Even so...Asuka is-"

"We cannot risk the chance of putting Unit 01 in danger."

"So you're just going abandon her!"

"I did not say that. Rei is retrieving the Lance of Longinus as we speak, but until then we can't do anything for her."

"Thats just how you feel! I'll go there if I have to with my own two legs!" yelled Shinji.

"In which case I shall have you confined to quarters."

"I'll just break out!"

"Sever all communication with the pilot of Unit 01 and forcefully eject the entry plug from Unit 01."

"You fucking bast-"

Shinji last words were cut off however as the communication was severed.

"Status of Unit 00?" asked Gendo

"Passing levels fifteen through twenty now. Continuing descent."

"Prep elevator shaft number nine for the return of Unit 00."

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Who are you?"

"I'm you."

"No your not!"

"I'm the you that you sealed away."

"No thats not me!"

"Then who are you?"

"Wha-"

"If I'm not you...then who are you?"

Asuka's mind had been violated. Everything she had ever experienced, good and bad, had been laid bare for the angel to see. It felt as though she was in an open room, completely naked, while hundreds upon thousands of people stared at her, examining every aspect of her being.

"No! Thats not who I am! I'm different!"

"Why do you believe you're different?"

"Because I have to! I can't be them!"

"Who is them?"

"Everybody! I hate them!"

"Why do you hate them?"

"Because they don't acknowledge me!"

Suddenly she saw flashes of her hateful childhood. Her father coming home drunk, and whipping her with his belt. All alone at middle school, because people thought she was a freak with her shabby clothes and strange colored her. At college, where she shinned above everybody else, but was shunned because of that same shine.

"I don't need them! I'm fine being alone!"

"Liar..."

She stood by herself in a pitch blackness, with nobody around like she wanted it. But somebody else was there with her. Suddenly a spotlight shinned down from above and bathed her in light. While another spotlight did the same to the Asuka standing next to her.

"What is this?" she asked.

"This is you, with everything you've ever thought out in the open."

"No! Don't look at me like that."

"Then how do you want me to look at you?"

Another Asuka suddenly appeared before her, one that was grossly different than how she herself looked. This Asuka's hair was incredibly short, like how Rei kept hers. But it was how she acted that was different. The personality was too upbeat, similar to how Hikari acted sometimes.

"I'm Asuka Soryu."

"No, thats not me!" Asuka yelled, shattering the different personality.

"Then is this you?"

The Asuka that appeared before her now had much longer hair that reached to the waist. However her demeanor was much different. She was wearing white high heels with a blue skirt and matching white blouse. In her hand she held a cigarette.

"No! Thats not me either!"

"How are you different then the others? Aren't you just like them?"

"No! I can't be just like them! I refuse."

Suddenly Asuka was assault with a flood of memories so strong that it made her choke momentarily. She watched as she got off a Nerv plane and took her first step in Tokyo-3. Meeting Misato and shortly after, finding out that she would be living with the stupidest guy on the planet. Her normal interactions with Shinji, day in and day out. There experiences together, both as pilots and confused teenagers. The rape, and subsequent reveal of his abnormal self. The date and everything that had transpired that day.

"This is you. These are the memories that make up the person who is Asuka Soryu."

Everything with Shinji, everything she had ever thought of him. Every word she had ever called him. Every feel of his skin, every touch of his hair, every beat of her heart when around him, and every unique emotion she had always felt while with him-

'Ah...this is me, and everything with Shinji is also me. ...I just wish I would have told him how I felt sooner...'

-Suddenly broke and shattered around her.

* * *

"Change in pilots mental graph...there's...nothing?"

"What?" asked Ritsuko as she spun around in the direction of the operative.

"Pulse suddenly dropped, and heart rate suddenly slowed to normal."

"What happened? Did the angel stop?"

"No pattern blue is still...wait...pattern blue detected...inside the entry plug of Unit 02."

"Where did it originate?"

"Thats the problem...it originated inside Unit 02."

"What?"

"Pilot life signs continuing to drop, life support systems forcefully stopping."

"Damn it! How soon will Rei reach the surface!"

"She just retrieved the lance and is now proceeding up elevator shaft number nine."

"Isolate that signal inside the entry plug of Unit 02. We have to keep her alive!"

"Computers have not found the signal...wait...it suddenly disappeared?"

"Wha-"

"Pilot heart rate plummeting! Brain waves ceasing...reaching a comatose like state."

"Revert power to nerve impulses two hundred and eleven through two hundred forty-four. Keep her heart beating damn it!"

Misato watched helpless as everything seemed to be falling apart. Even Ritsuko was starting to lose it. If Asuka died...then she would be partially responsible. And what about Shinji?

"Shock seems to have no effect."

"Then increase the nerve impulses damn it!" yelled Ritsuko.

"Pilot mental graph still showing nothing. Possibility of mental contamination high."

"Increase the LCL fluid to the limit," said Gendo suddenly speaking up.

Surprised that he would suggest such a thing, Ritsuko turned towards him and asked, "But wont that-"

"If the LCL fluid is increased to the limit, the connection between the pilot and Unit 02 should cease. After such we can take control of Unit 02 and eject the entry plug that the pilot locked from the inside."

"But the resounding pressure on her weakened heart could kill her."

"Bring the concentration of LCL fluid up to 16.7%, it wont be enough to kill a human being, but it should be enough to knock the pilot out. And raise areas thirteen through twenty of the down Tokyo-3 area. Rei will need some room for the lance to have a desired effect."

Ritsuko scrutinized him for a moment, but realized that time was of the essence.

"Do as he says," she replied to the operational room.

Unit 00 opened up into the wide expanse of the sky, and for a moment Rei continued looking at the sun before her immediate task drew her away. With the Lance of Longinus in hand, Unit 00 leaned backwards a little, before it took several running steps along the raised pavement, and threw the lance.

The Lance of Longinus was duly named as the spear that could pierce heaven and earth, as the heavens parted in its path. Clouds looked as though they ran away from the lance, as it soared upward through the sky, creating a massive hole in the sky that stretched for thousands of miles without a cloud in sight.

As it passed out of the atmosphere of the planet, it flew towards the angel waiting patiently in space. The lance struck the angels AT-field, pausing momentarily, as the tip of the lance pierced through the angels AT-field and ripped through the rest of it. What came next could only be described as the angel seeming to be sucked up by a massive black hole. The lance seemed to fly right through the angel, but as it hit the angel, a small vortex appeared where the lance had struck. Not even a second later, the vortex encompassed the entire angel until a reverse effect started, where the main body of the angel started to getting sucked into the vortex, while the forking branches slowly were drawn in also. In the span of two seconds, the entire angel had disappeared, leaving little to suggest its existence, except for the shattered mind of Asuka that remained.

"Pattern blue has disappeared."

"What about the Lance of Longinus?" asked Fuyutsuki.

"Unknown."

"There is currently no known way of retrieving something with that amount of mass," said Gendo suddenly. "And something of that nature should not be in the hands of humans in the first place," he finished.

Nodding his head slowly, understanding the inner meaning of his words, Fuyutsuki said, "Give all priority to the retrieval of Unit 02 and its pilot. Dr. Akagi, you're in charge of this. Isolate the pilot if need be and...prep a medical team of what they might expect. Mental contamination, cellular contamination, irregular brain patterns..."

"And what are you going to do?" asked Misato, anger slowly seeping off her in the way the operation was handled.

"...The pilot of Unit 01 may have to be confined because of circumstances. I suppose that I'll have to-"

"No, I'll do it," said Misato. "I know him better then you do."

Fuyutsuki eyed her for a moment before he sighed and admittedly said, "I suppose that you are correct about this."

Misato bit back her retort and looked towards Ritsuko, signaling that she wanted a full report of Asuka's condition later. Without so much as a glance at commander Ikari, she proceeded to the elevator, and went to the lower levels of Nerv, anticipating what would be her worst talk with Shinji yet.

* * *

After the entry plug of Unit 01 had been forcefully ejected, Shinji couldn't remember anything until moments ago when he woke up in a room that seemed to be little better than a cell. The room was virtual pitch black, except for a door at the far end of the room where a small window was placed towards the top of the door. A small glow of light could be seen out in what he guessed as some sort of corridor. He suspected that they had tranquilized him with something, knocking him out momentarily so he wouldn't be able to resist. But now, blinking the feeling of nauseous and dizziness away, he stood up and walked to the door, and looked out through the small window. What he saw didn't really surprise him. Two armed guards seemed to standing on either sides of the door, guards which he supposed wouldn't hesitate to shot if they felt like it.

Turning around, he let his entire body weight press against the door with his back, and slowly slid down onto the cold, hard, concrete floor. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he rested his head on them and started wondering what his first step should be.

His first thought was to break out and find Asuka, but a small part of his mind felt that wouldn't be the smartest. He wanted to see Asuka, to know that she was all right, to simply embrace her tightly and run a hand of his through her hair. But he knew that he couldn't...not now.

Before, when they had argued, Shinji had no idea what was to come. Now he would give anything to take back the hurtful words he had used against her. And then when she tried to talk with him later, inside the Eva's chamber, he had shrugged her off, saying that they would talk later.

He was ashamed of his himself, on how he had reacted. He had shown Asuka something that she should never have seen again, but he was trying to make her understand why he suddenly associated with Rei who he had rarely talked with before. He didn't blame her for her jealousy, it was rather expected at some form or another. God knows he'd feel the same thing if he saw her talking with some other guy that he'd never met before.

"Even so though," he said speaking to the small room. "If I could at least know how she was...it'd ease my mind a little."

Almost as though in response to his wish, the metal door opened with a creak, and in walked Misato.

"I'm sorry about the way you were treated," she said upon entering, not letting Shinji open his mouth. "I'm moving you to a different room."

"What about the guards?" asked Shinji.

"I know I can't do much to ease your pain, but I can do this much at least."

Holding out her hand, Shinji took it unhesitatingly, and they walked out of the room, which seemed to be vacant of the guards now.

"What did you-"

"Forget about it."

"...Okay then...where are we going?"

"I'm not sure about that myself. I can't think straight right now. All I know is that I'm extremely displeased on how this entire ordeal was handled."

"...Ordeal?"

"The operation! It was as though they had planned to use the Lance of Longinus since the very beginning."

"And what is the Lance of Longinus exactly?"

"Its supposedly a holy relic that was used in the crucifixion of Christ. Though its also able to penetrate an angels AT-field."

"Something that even I can't defend against," mumbled Shinji. "Great."

"Well its floating in space now, so at least it can't be used again."

"Misato...I know that you're probably trying to avoid this...but how is Asuka?"

His blunt question suddenly made Misato freeze in mid-step. Turning slowly towards him, she said, "That is essentially why I'm here. I've been...designated as the person to tell you."

"Tell me what?" said Shinji, his eyes instantly narrowing.

Misato hesitated for a second but said, "Asuka's condition is...unknown right now. The decontamination procedures may take several hours before a report is even sent in about her physical condition. As for her mental condition...well its almost certain that there was a high level mental contamination."

"Meaning what...exactly!" Shinji's voice growing louder even when he didn't mean it to.

"Shinji...the angel seemed to be analyzing her mind. Her mental graph starting going sporadic, as though she was being forced to see many different things at once and process them all. Its unknown what state of mind she may be in because of this."

"So what! It'll just pass right?"

"Shinji...her mind may be broken. She'd be in a comatose like state where her body functions properly, but her mind doesn't respond. She'd no longer be able to recognize people, she wouldn't be able to learn, essentially...the person known as Asuka would cease to exist. She wouldn't have any memories."

Shinji stared blankly back at her for several minutes, her words unable to click with what his mind was screaming. Asuka not recognizing him? Bullshit! Not after everything they'd been through.

Shaking his head determinedly, Shinji said, "I don't believe you. You're saying something like that without any knowledge of whats actually happening."

"Shinji...we don't even know if she's alive. Her heart...stopped, before contact with Unit 02 was lost."

This last sentence penetrated Shinji so badly it felt as though a thousand needles had torn into his heart. Asuka...dead? No, thats not possible. First and foremost...she's Asuka. She's the unrivaled Evangelion pilot who can accomplish anything. She's somebody who would fight till the last second.

"I can't believe that," said Shinji instantly.

"Shinji liste-"

"No! You listen!" he shouted. "Asuka is not dead! There is no fucking way that she could be dead! Sh-She's somebody who can't die! And we...haven't"

"Shinji...this isn't any easier for me. I had to stand aside while somebody else did my job. How do you think I feel? Hearing Asuka's screams yet unable to do anything to help her."

"You could have-"

"I could have! Shinji? Could you have done anything yourself?"

Her words hurt, because they were the truth. No, he couldn't have done anything to help her, and that was the most painful of it all. To realize just how helpless he was in this situation, even when he promised her he would always be by her side, in turn helping each other when they stumbled.

"And I think I understand more than you yourself realize Shinji."

"What do you understand! You're a grownup! How could you possibly-"

"Because I know what the hurt of separation feels like! When me and," her words choked a little here, but she continued. "When me and Kaji split, do you know how painful that was? I thought that we were always going to be together, but that was just the naivety of my adolescent mind fooling me. Shinji, how does your hurt feel like right?"

"Like it was cleaved in two with a blunt ax. But what does-"

"Shinji, you love Asuka..."

...Nothing else but these words could have silenced him. Turning away from her briefly, he didn't even seem to have the capacity to blush at her remark...no, it was a mark of how correct she was that he didn't blush. Because he had long figured this to be true, even if a small part of his mind denied it.

"You do...don't you? And she does too."

Shinji was still silent, completely passive now as if they were talking about the weather.

"Shinji?"

"...What," he finally said.

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to run to her. To hold her. To take her away from this damn place!" he said his voice growing louder with each sentence. "I want to tell her that everything will be all right! That I'll always be by her side! I want to run my hands through her amazing hair! I even want her to call me an idiot, just so that I can hear her voice! But...I can't...not now," he finished, his voice growing quiet.

"...Why is that?"

"Because she's too dear to me...too important."

"I don't-"

"Because I'm afraid if I see her...we will hurt each other. She's not dead...that I know of...I don't know why, but I think I would have felt it. But...I don't think she knows me anymore."

"How can you?"

"Know that? I don't rightly know. Call it intuition. You said the angel seemed to be analyzing Asuka's mind...I think it was searching for memories of me, just as the previous angel seemed to be waiting for me. There gone though...those memories, and they may never come back. I think...that they probably wont."

"But Shinji..."

"Hmmm?"

"Just as you told me before...that I can't possibly know that. Even so...you can't either."

"Thats where you are wrong, Misato. I have a corporeal AT-field that has an actual shape. Ever since the previous angel battle...I've become more attuned to peoples AT-fields so much that I can feel them. An AT-field is in essence, what a makes a person themselves. The second the pieces of Asuka memories broke, I felt the subtle difference in her own AT-field. But I didn't want to admit it...even after what you told me. She changed after she met me, she's admitted it herself. But now that the memories we built together are gone, its as though the different her never existed."

"..."

"It hurts...and I understand you trying to console me...but you can't understand the hurt...its too deep, and especially after recent events."

"Shinji..."

"It may take her time to recover...certain parts of her mind have been fragmented."

"...What?"

"I can't tell rightfully what those parts are though, since they don't include me."

"Then let me ask you this Shinji?"

"What do you plan to do?"

"I'm...going to remain here at Nerv, while when Asuka recovers she'll be living with you again."

"But what about everybody at school? Wont they know...that somethings wrong when you and Asuka aren't talking at school."

"Thats a complicated matter. If Asuka and I never met, then I'd never end up talking to Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, or anybody else. I'd still be the misunderstood transfer student. It'd be unnoticed if I suddenly dropped out of school,"

"Shinji, you just started going back though."

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "Its better this way. If I start associating with Asuka too much, the memories may resurface and this time really destroy her mind."

"But Evangelion tests...and everything associated with work. Everybody here at Nerv already knows you and Asuka, and how were."

"And I can't change that. I got to know everybody through my own means, not through Asuka like the kids at school."

"Shinji this is too cruel."

"...I suppose it is."

"If you just talk to her..."

"...I can't...if I did I wouldn't be lead this fake life."

Fake life. The fact was that he would be leading a fake life, one completely devoid of Asuka.

"I'd like to ask one thing of you though. If I'm correct...she shouldn't wake until tomorrow. I'd like...to say goodbye I suppose."

"Shin-"

"I'm very serious about this Misato, although every cell in my body is screaming against my decision."

"Shinji...what I want to know is...why?"

"Why are you doing all this for Asuka?"

"Well, you said it yourself...I love her."

Misato was rather taken aback by this simple answer.

"Though if you want another explanation...I do have one. Someone once told me about the concept of time...and more importantly humanities ability to control their own time. I've never told anybody this except Ritsuko in very small bits, and always away from actual truth. First I have angel DNA in me, why I have no idea. Probably an experiment by my father or something. But I sometimes have...visions of people, like possibilities of their future. Asuka's father...the rape, all I had foresight because of these visions, and the rape in particular, I was able to prevent because of these visions. I've seen...more than my share of gruesome things because of these visions, all with their own possibilities. But they've helped prevent things...that I can't deny. All these things have one thing in common...based on what actions I take after seeing these visions, I can control a persons time...and not just people...the world also."

Misato mouth was slightly gaping during his explanation.

"I still don't rightfully understand it myself, and the futures of people keeping changing based on the simple actions they perform in there daily lives, so it is sometimes difficult to discern what the correct path, so to speak, to choose is. This last week...I've been thinking about Asuka more than normally, which is saying something. And I started thinking...would she have been better off if she had never met me? Well, I certainly hated the thought, but after thinking about it, many of the things that happened to her were indirectly related to me. I didn't have any foreknowledge of this happening though...but I feel as though this is a better outcome then what was waiting for her."

"And what was that?" asked Misato, her voice trembling slightly.

"Death," said Shinji simply. "As long as I know that she's alive, I feel as though I can continue."

"But what about her? Did you ever think how she felt about this. You could have prevented this couldn't you?"

"No, I couldn't...I really couldn't. I may have been able to help her regain her memories by using the part of my AT-field that houses my memories of her. But its too dangerous with her weakened mind. As I said, it might truly destroy her. No, for her, this is the safest option."

"Shin-"

"I'm sorry Misato...I don't think I can continue. I've said more or less everything that I needed to."

"But-"

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "Without me in her life...its safer."

"But-" she tried again, however Shinji was already walking past her.

"As I said, I'd like a final goodbye I can say...so if you could find out where she'll be kept...I'd much appreciate it."

Without another word, Shinji walked past Misato, leaving her rooted to the floor. However as soon as Shinji rounded the corner, Misato sunk to her knees, and placed the palm of her mouth over her hands.

'I didn't know,' she thought. 'I didn't know the half of what he had gone through. And he kept it all bottled up inside him this whole time.'

"Shinji," she mumbled as she continued sitting on the floor with her knees under her. "Is this really the right decision though?"

* * *

If this was the wrong decision, then Shinji may as well be damned for life.

But he didn't care, as long as she was fine.

It was dark in the hospital room, but not so dark that he couldn't see the outline of her body laying in the bed. Her body was covered in strange devices, monitoring almost every known function of the human body. He'd have to thank Ritsuko sometime for the thoughtfulness she put into this.

As Shinji walked towards Asuka's bed, he couldn't help but have second thoughts about this. He didn't want to leave, more than anything he just wanted to sit there and hold her hand while he waited for her to wake, but he knew that wouldn't be right. If she saw somebody totally unfamiliar to her stroking her hand, she'd certainly lose control.

"'I know I can't do much to ease your pain, but I can do this much at least' huh?"

At this thought, Shinji moved closer to her bed and looked down at the beautiful face of Asuka Soryu. She looked incredibly peaceful, laying there without a trace of pain on her face.

'Lets keep it that way,' he thought.

Sighing lightly, he looked down at her face for a few more seconds before saying, "Odd way to say goodbye to each. I always thought it be something along the lines of you kicking me out of a house sometime in the future...ahhh that was stupid. Ignore that..."

He suddenly felt oddly stupid talking to her unconscious body.

"What I guess I want to say is, even if you don't remember the times we had together. I'll always remember them. Your face, your smile, your laugh, that annoyed expression you got every time you looked at me. I'll remember them. If theres one thing I'll always regret, is that we didn't realize are feelings for each other sooner. Just being stubborn I suppose. "Anyways...I'd like to stay longer...but I think if I do, I'll never leave. However...if theres one thing I'd like, whether in a dream or not, is if you would remember this."

Without another word, he kissed her.

And afterwards, passed out of the room as if he were a breeze.

* * *

**And so we head into the final chapters.**


	22. Rebuild

**Calm before the storm you could say for this chapter, though it was a lot of fun writing it. I'm hoping to get three chapters out a month so as to speed it to the end of summer. (But lets see how June goes now…) **

* * *

Asuka opened her eyes groggily into a room which was completely unrecognizable to her.

'What am I doing here?' she wondered as she turned her head to and fro, looking every which way. As she tried raising her right arm though, she felt a sharp pain at the joint connecting her forearm and upper arm. Looking down at it, she thought she saw something that looked similar to a needle. Feeling rather claustrophobic, she pushed herself upwards, wincing at the creak in her joints, until her back was propped against the pillow she had been resting on.

The room she was, was like nothing she had ever seen before. The walls and ceiling were white with only a single lamp hanging from the ceiling, creating the only light in the room. All around her, an odd assortments of bags filled with some clear liquid and another which looked like blood, hung on plastic cords. Computers lined the wall along the far side of the room, directly across from her, and Asuka could see several windows open filled with strange formulas and numbers.

"Where in the hell am I?" she wondered openly this time, her frustration starting to become apparent.

"In a hospital room at Nerv's research facilities," said a voice to her right.

Asuka turned her head towards the sound of the voice, cricking it in the process, and stared back at the woman standing in the doorway. Very briefly however, a shadow of confusion seemed to pass over her face before she asked, "Ritsu...ko?"

"Glad to see that you still remember me," she replied as she entered the room and sat down on a chair next to Asuka's bed.

After a moments pause she asked, "How do you feel?"

Asuka took a second to reply as she looked down at her hands clasped together in her lap before she said, "I don't...really know. Everything feels...hazy. Why am I here? What happened?"

"All in due time. First I need to ask you some quick questions. You obviously know my name already, so then do you remember your own name."

"Asuka Langley Soryu," she replied without hesitating.

"Good. Now can you tell me what month and day of the week it is?"

"...Err...no, I can't remember it for some reason."

"Thats okay. If you knew what day it was I would have been astounded. Now...I told you are in a research facility in Nerv. Do you know what Nerv is?"

Almost as though she was reading out of a textbook, Asuka replied, "Nerv, as it is known by the general public: is a union of companies tasked with the remodeling and reshaping of the entirety of Japan, and the slow shift of the capital city to Tokyo-3. This however is just a pretense for what it really does. Nerv is in fact tasked with the defense of humanity against an invasion of beings known as angels, using giant humanoids known as Evangelions."

"Almost word for word of what you wrote down for your section three test," replied Ritsuko while beaming.

"Of course, as if I could forget something so fundamental as that."

"Then what is your function at Ner-"

However before she could finish, Asuka said with a slight smirk, "I am the designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, while my sync ratio has an average of 88%. I'm German, though one-fourth Japanese on my mothers side. I was born on December 4, 2001, and am fifteen years old. Anything else you'd like to know?"

Ritsuko slightly frowned at Asuka's attitude but accepted it for what it was.

"It seems like you remember everything."

"Great. So then why am I here?"

Ritsuko continued looking at her for a moment, before she stood up and walked over to the computers on the opposite side of the room. After looking at many numbers on the screen with regards to Asuka's brain waves, she fished a cigarette out of her pocket, lit it, and said without looking at Asuka, "Do you remember anything about battling the angels."

Asuka paused and seemed to search her mind.

"I do," she finally said. "But certain parts are...just blank. I defeated them all by myself though it seems like."

'As I figured,' thought Ritsuko. 'Every battle with the angels that she had with him has been replaced with herself fighting alone, thus creating the illusion of herself beating them all alone.'

"Good. The blankness is to be expected however with certain events. But it seems that no lasting mental contamination has effected you."

"Mental...contamination?"

"Yes...you're mind was invaded by an angel and analyzed several days ago."

"Several days...ago?"

"Yes...three to be exact. We were afraid that you're mind might have been broken, however it seems that you recovered miraculously well. We've been monitoring your life signs ever since then and its just now that you've awoken."

"By the angel invaded my mind...what do you mean?"

"They angel used an energy pattern with a similar signature to that of an AT-field, but as though it were in reverse. It seemed to pick apart your memories and mind, so having some stuff thats rather blank isn't too unsurprising."

Asuka was rather stunned after realizing that her mind had been sullied and opened her mouth slightly.

"I know this is rather a lot to take in Asuka, but I can guarantee you that nothing has changed."

"...What happened to the angel?"

"It was destroyed...by Rei."

"The pet! Did she also rescue me!" asked Asuka, her anger only too apparent.

"Well yes. But Asuka, if she hadn't destroyed the angel when she did, the damage you incurred may have become permanent."

"I don't care! Its too humiliating being saved by her or anyone!"

Ritsuko had forgotten just how much Asuka had changed in these past months.

"I can understand your need to prove yourself, but you're alive, and you should be grateful for that."

"I don't care," Asuka said, turning her head away from Ritsuko. "I'm not gonna grovel in front of somebody who has no human emotions."

"Well at least you seem to be yourself," said Ritsuko, ending the conversation instantly.

"Great, so when can I get out of here?"

"Soon most likely. I have to run a few more tests to be positive that there's no contamination before you move back in with Misato."

"Oh...thats right," Asuka said with a rather surprised look on her face. "I'm living with her."

"Yes you are, and she's been asking me every day about updates on your condition."

"So she was worried huh?" wondered Asuka, feeling sorta touched.

"Yes, she...blamed herself partially because of your condition."

"Why?"

"Because she relies on you so much."

Asuka's pride, already swollen to begin with, seemed to swell to the size of a small elephant.

"Well," she said with an arrogant look on her face, "everybody _does_ rely on me."

"Yes, well...I'll be back later to check your reflexes and any physical changes that may have happened to your body, though its not expected that I'll find anything. You should be discharged later today."

"Okay...um what time is it?"

Looking at her watch, Ritsuko said, "Just before noon. You should be in your own room before five."

"Great, because this bed isn't anything like my own."

"Yes...well, I should get going."

Before Asuka was able to ask her any more questions, Ritsuko left, closing the door behind her, and turned towards her left where she knew somebody would be waiting for her.

"How is she?" asked Misato while she continued looking across the hallway, her back resting against the white sheet-rocked wall.

"Fine, in the normal sense of the word. No mental contamination and it seems that her memory seems to be mostly intact."

"Mostly?"

"Everything relating to him has been replaced with the illusion of things she did alone, including the angel battles they participated in."

"I thought as much...what about-"

"There is no lasting impression of that incident. The body...may remember it, but the mind wont. From what I understood, if she had never gone to that grocery store, it would not have happened. Since in her mind, she never went to the grocery store, it never happened."

"Thats a relief I suppose," said Misato thinking that at least something good had come out of this.

"And what about her father?"

"I am not sure what happens with that. Of course, he's disabled so its rather irrelevant whether it effects him or not. His damaged brain does not remember how he ended up in that state in the first place, so its unknown if he did remember, whether those memories would have been erased or not. But as for Asuka, my guess is she does not know about her father, nor do I think she would really care.

Misato hesitated for a second before she asked, "Does he know that Asuka is awake yet?"

"No...I thought I would let you break the news to him, though last I heard he was in Unit 02's chamber.

"...Again?"

"Yes...and we still aren't sure about the pattern blue that was detected inside Unit 02, however we know that the pattern blue detected before while we were doing the test of Unit-03 is the same as was detected three days ago."

"So it had nothing to do with the psychic attack against Asuka by the angel."

"No...it didn't, which makes me worried about some sort of outside interference. But its best if we don't talk about that...I'm sure you realized about the tightening of security."

"I have, and hope that I'm not feeling paranoid or anything."

"You'd have a right to be. You already heard about the fourth?"

"Yes...they met not to long ago."

Ritsuko bit down on her lip slightly before saying, "His first synchronization test is supposed to be today."

"How? He doesn't even have an Evangelion thats his."

"Thats...supposed to not matter. He seems to be able to freely synchronize himself with almost any Eva."

"Any?"

"Unit 01 will most likely refuse the synchronization, since only one person has ever been able to pilot it effectively. Most likely Unit 02 will be chosen as the replacement since we're still unsure whether Asuka will be able to pilot again, or if any mental trauma makes her unable to pilot."

"But what about the pattern-"

"The commander knows where the fourth comes from, as I'm sure you do too. He knows that the fourths an agent sent to spy on him, and the loss of the Lance of Longinus is a blow that they were unable to foresee."

"Seele," whispered Misato, more to herself than at Ritsuko.

"Anyway...you can go in and see her if you want, just watch what you say if we intend on continuing this ruse."

"I don't...think I can yet."

"Still holding regrets?"

"No but...I feel that this could have been done differently."

Sighing lightly, Ritsuko passed Misato before whispering in her ear, "Just remember that we're not the ones hurt most deeply by this. And he wouldn't want you feeling sorry over something that isn't your fault."

Smiling briefly at Misato, Ritsuko passed her, fishing another cigarette out of her pockets and lighting it quickly, before she rounded a corner and passed out of sight.

Misato stood still for a moment, debating who she should talk to first. Asuka was her immediate choice, but she felt he deserved to know she was awake.

"Right...I suppose I should find Shinji then," she said openly, not caring whether anybody heard her or not.

However, behind her a door closed with nothing but a snap.

* * *

Asuka stood with her back to the door she had just closed. After Ritsuko had left, she had grabbed the wires and cords that were connected to her body, and ignoring the sharp pain, had pulled them off herself. Everything still felt like a dream, but she found that her balance at least was still in tact, and she was able to plod slowly towards the door where she could hear Ritsuko and Misato talking behind it. A lot of things that they said didn't really register with her brain. She heard something about the fourth child, her father, something to do with her own Evangelion, and Misato had mentioned somebody by the name of Shinji just now, who she had never heard of in her life.

"...Shinji," she mumbled to the empty room, running a hand through her hair as she said.

"Hmph...sounds like an idiot."

* * *

While Misato went to Unit 02's chamber to look for Shinji, the boy in question had already long left the Nerv facilities and ended up walking around Tokyo-3, in fact, he found that he was doing this more and more lately.

The past three days for Shinji, well, he simply was surprised he had made it this long without going insane. Each day was a simple fight to not rush to Asuka's bed side. He found though, that these walks that he had now started to take cleared his mind exceptionally well, and he was reminded of why he used to walk so much. It was to get away from everything. But didn't that also mean he was running away from his problems? Also, these past few days he had noticed something which he had already been afraid of ever since he had promised himself he would never try to redevelop the relationship him and Asuka had. But it wasn't any easier to admit that his feelings were-

"Shinji-kun, I'm surprised to see you here."

Shinji spun around so quickly that for a second his hands seemed to be blurred as he brought them up to generate an AT-field, briefly thinking of decapitating the person who interrupted his thoughts, when he saw that it was Kaoru.

Freezing his hands in mid swing, he glared back at Kaoru before snarling, "What'd you want? I'm not in the mood to talk right now!"

"Talk? No, I'm just surprised that you're not at Nerv."

"Whats there for me?" grumbled Shinji.

"True...well I suppose that I'll see you later Shinji-kun."

As Kaoru walked past him, Shinji noticed that he seemed to be heading towards the Nerv elevator he had just come up.

"Are you...going to Nerv?" asked Shinji hesitantly.

Turning around, Kaoru said with a smile, "Yes, I am. I have a synchronization test in an hour."

Still hesitating, unsure how much he cared to know, Shinji eventually asked, "How? There isn't an Eva that would respond to you."

Shrugging slightly, with a smile still seemingly plastered on his face, Kaoru said, "No, there shouldn't be. However they still want to run some tests."

"Why bother?" said Shinji still feeling like shit.

"My synchronization rating is abnormally high like your own, they probably want to...find out why."

At his words, Shinji narrowed his eyes slightly. Since his first encounter with Kaoru, he had never really liked him. He always wore that smile on his face, but the eyes were different: cold and mocking. Then there was his suspicion about him having an AT-field such as his own, and now he learns that he has a strangely high synchronization also.

"I doubt they'll learn anything they didn't already from testing me," Shinji eventually said.

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm not you, so things will not be the same. Where were you going though, if you don't mind me asking?"

Sighing heavily, Shinji said, "I don't rightly know myself."

"Well, if you decide on returning before my test, you can see everything with your own eyes."

Smiling again, as though he was inviting Shinji to go with him, Kaoru continued walking down the sidewalk, hands thrown behind his head, leaving Shinji standing there, confused about his last words.

'He knows something about me,' thought Shinji as he watched Kaoru's retreating back. 'And he supposedly came from Seele, so he's watching both me and my father.'

Shinji continued standing still for a minute until Kaoru had rounded the corner at the end of the block.

'Well, at least I think I know where to go now,' thought Shinji as he turned his head towards the most inhospitable part of Tokyo-3.

He was going to see the one person who he felt could give him some good heartfelt advice.

After walking for almost an hour, during which he reminded himself that Kaoru's synchronization test would be commencing, he gazed at the sign above the shop that read, '_Cafe.' _ Nothing seemed to have changed since his last visit (which sorely reminded him of Asuka) of which he was rather thankful for. He wasn't sure how much change he could take in a week. Though as he placed a hand on the door nob, several things happened. First: he felt a vibration in his pocket meaning that the cell phone he had borrowed from Misato was going off. Second: he could see several large silhouettes inside the small cafe, all crowded around the counter. Instantly forgetting about the cell phone in his pocket, he threw the door open with such force that for a second, he thought he had forced the glass panes out. What greeted him was not an endearing sight.

The two he had met before, Eein and Gonzo, were both leaning across the counter and seemed to be grappling with somebody, while two other thugs seemed to be jeering and laughing at the sight before them. It took Shinji all but half a second to move.

The two thugs were just turning around as the ringing sound of the bell from the door met their ears, only to be face to face with a very angry Shinji; he had cleared the distance between the door and the counter in two fluid steps. As the two thugs seemed to realize this kid wasn't somebody that they had to pull their blows on, they both reeled backwards to strike him in the face, but were quickly met with two palms smashing into their chins. Shinji, who may have been considered tall by Asuka (who was actually rather short), was still shorter than these two. However, pushing his feet upwards, he managed to thrust a palm against both of the thugs lower jaw. Adding way more force that he had intended, Shinji felt sooner than he heard, the crunching and grinding of the upper and lower jaw bones as they collided. Trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach, and the way a cold shivered traveled down his spine he let the two drop on either side of him, both of them completely unconscious.

The noise though didn't go unnoticed from either Eein or Gonzo and soon they were both staring surprised at the teenager in front of him, pure hatred seeming to flow out of the pores of his body.

"Oh yes...I remember," said Eein finally as he recognized Shinji. "You're that kid that interrupted me before, when I was getting my cut of sales. Well, I suppose you weren't entirely bluffing with the way you looked at me last time." He looked grimly down at the two fallen thugs next to Shinji and sneered at there unconscious form.

"Tch, its so hard to come by decent body guards. Though it looks as those two dropped quicker than I had thought." Looking back at Shinji, he said, "You're an interesting kid. How about working for me-"

"I'd no sooner work for you than wipe my ass with your shitty money."

"Hmph, you don't know what you're missing. Whatever...if you won't listen then, I can just have you killed."

Gesturing to Gonzo, who had stood silent throughout the confrontation, he finally moved and seemed to draw something out from under the baggy sweatshirt he was wearing. At first, Shinji thought it was a knife, something like a switchblade, but next second as it came into better view, he realized that this wouldn't end well.

"Its amazing how many of these are floating around on the black market," said Eein as he eyed the Glock in Gonzo's hand. "It comes standard issue with most police uniforms and I've heard that there was a sudden stockpile increase on the black market. Their a dime a dozen now."

Shinji held his gaze at the gun in Gonzo's hand, ready to make a sudden move if need be. However, what Eein then ordered Gonzo to do next threw Shinji for a loop.

Reaching behind the counter, Gonzo seemed to grab something and struggle with it for a second before pulling it roughly onto the counter.

"Lets see whether you adjust that attitude of yours after this," sneered Eein as he ordered Gonzo to point the gun at the woman's head.

It took all of Shinji's control to not decapitate Gonzo right there as he saw what kind of condition Rebecca was in. Her lower lip was split, creating a small trickle of blood that dripped down her chin. Her right eye was slightly closed as though it was painful to keep it completely open. Her dark hair, which normally had a certain sheen, hung limply around her face and behind her while Shinji thought he saw more streaks of crimson then there should be. The amazing thing was, there wasn't a single streak of a dried tear on her face. She had not cried throughout it all, and even now a defiant look was still on her face as she gazed back at Shinji.

As Shinji took all this in, his mouth eventually opened slightly into something of shock, but then he closed it with a snap and turned towards Eein who was leaning against the counter and smirking.

"She got a bit too snappy and I thought I should correct her," laughed Eein. Apparently he thought that Shinji was powerless with a gun pointed at somebody he cared for.

Speaking very clearly, annunciating with each word, Shinji said, "Let her go...or even I don't know what you'll look like after I'm done with you."

"Ha! I'll admit, you're a strange boy," said Eein. "But nobody is above the power of a gun. You're still flesh and blood."

'Well he is right there,' thought Shinji.

"So I'll give you two options, back up and leave...or die," finished Eein. "I don't care either way honestly, and the world would probably be better off without people like you."

Shinji stood still with his hands hanging loosely at his side. He wondered how quickly Gonzo could turned the gun at him and pull the trigger.

'Probably not as fast as I could generate an AT-field...but its best not testing it.' He still never wanted to use his AT-field on another human being if he could help. But this was pushing him, and his angel self was starting to gain dominance over his mind.

"What did she say to you?" asked Shinji hesitantly, trying to delay the inevitable decision.

Eein paused for a second, as though trying to decide whether it was worth his time to answer the question.

"She asked why I took eighty percent of the profits even if it was only considered change to me. As if I needed to remind her that she was my property whether or not I took her earnings from her."

"But her mother," said Shinji still trying to delay.

"I don't give two shits about her useless mother. She's nothing but a useless piece of flesh that will die off eventually. I've actually been considering turning this into a whore house with Becca here as the main attraction."

If Shinji had been holding something, it would have snapped cleaning in two at Eein's words.

"I mean lets face it, there just aren't enough good fucks in this part of Tokyo-3. Now if I could get some of those overseas whores, that'd be good business. I heard that German red heads fuck like dogs."

...Shinji's angel half at his point, completely took over.

He stood still for a moment before he slowly fixed his eyes directly on Eein's and said in a whisper, "...Take that back."

"Hmmm? Whats the matter? Do you have a thing for German red heads or something? Or could it be that you know somebody that fits that description?"

Shinji retorted in a voice completely unlike his own. It was forceful, almost as though it where a command, "Take that back."

"And if I don't?" asked Eein mocking him.

Shinji's eyes, in reply, flashed a deep crimson.

Eein and Gonzo both saw this and for a moment seemed unsure of themselves, but in the end assumed it was a trick of the light.

"Fine then have it your way. Gonzo!"

For somebody so big and heavy, Gonzo was able to move his meaty arm quite quickly. Swinging the Glock around so that it pointed at Shinji, he pulled the hammer back and aim it at his chest.

"Cya kid," laughed Eein just as Gonzo pulled the trigger.

The Glock exploded, firing a three round burst directly at Shinji. The first bullet past directly over his right shoulder. The second bullet however found its mark, and buried itself into the shoulder that the first bullet had missed. His entire body was pushed backwards as the bullet hit him, jerking his body to the right. A crimson puff of mist seemed to explode outward from behind his shoulder, creating a one inch hole. The third bullet...never got very far past to chamber of the Glock.

With Shinji's angel self fully in control right now, he saw things differently. The first bullet he knew would pass directly over his right shoulder while the second bullet would hit his shoulder. The third bullet however would have ripped apart his right lung before burying itself in his spinal cord. No matter how abnormal Shinji was, he was still made of flesh and blood, as Eein had pointed out. He was able to regenerate the wound in the shoulder, but if the bullet exploded as it hit the spinal cord, he may as well be considered KIA. As such, he let himself be wounded before slicing the third bullet in two with his AT-field just as it left the Glock's chamber.

Eein and Gonzo both saw the second bullet hit him, but their vision was obscured briefly as a flash of orange lit up the room. This was of course the moment the third bullet was split.

"What happened?" asked Eein after a second when he saw that Shinji was still standing, completely ignoring the bullet wound in his shoulder. "Why isn't he dead? I though that thing was three round burst?"

"I don't know boss. I fired three bullets and that third one should have hit him."

"Well fire again you fucking retard!" yelled Eein.

As Gonzo aimed the gun again, there was another flash of orange light and this time, the gun seemed to be cloven from Gonzo's hand where it fell to the floor and shattered into several pieces.

"What the fuck!"

Eein asked this as he looked back at Shinji, who's eyes had become blood red.

"I told you to take it back," said Shinji in that same cold emotionless voice as he took a step closer towards the two.

"Stop him damn it!" roared Eein at Gonzo.

Hesitating slightly, as though trying to decide who was more dangerous: his boss or the kid in front of him, he eventually reached under his sweatshirt, and this time did extract a switchblade from underneath it. Charging straight at Shinji, who had not moved since he took that previous, he brought the knife up and swished it down, intending to stab it into Shinji's already wounded shoulder. However, he screamed in pain as the force he put behind the stab collided against Shinji's AT-field. It felt as though he had tried to stab a solid wall of concrete, sending vibrations up the fingers that were grasping the blade. Taking several steps back, he looked down at the blade which was bent in an odd direction, while his fingers were likewise in strange directions. Looking back horridly at Shinji, he mouthed like a fish out of water before the AT-field crashed against him, knocking the wind out and spewing blood out of his mouth as he went skidding across the floor.

Eein looked agape at Shinji as Gonzo came sliding to rest at his feet, and for the first time in his life, he looked scared.

"Yo-You...who are yo-you?"

Shinji was silent as he took another step forward, his eyes still blood red and the orange triangular like AT-field in front of him for all to see.

"Stay back damn it! I-I have friends high up that wo-won't let you get away wi-with this."

"Take it back," Shinji mumbled, all signs of his previous self gone.

"Okay...okay I take back what I said! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I won't ever bother Rebecca again! Just please don't kill me!"

Shinji continued taking steps forward until he was standing directly in front of this disgusting human being. If he was still in his right mind, this would have looked oddly familiar.

"You want me to forgive you?" he asked still not showing any emotions. "You sure? I think that the world would be better off without people like you actually," said Shinji, mimicking what Eein had said moments ago.

"I'm sorry! I'm Sorry!" he shrieked.

Shinji's gaze, which had seemed completely expressionless softened slightly as he watched this pitiful excuse of a human groveling in front of him.

'This isn't right,' a corner of his mind said to him, 'I promised not only myself, but Asuka that I would never use my AT-field against another human being...and yet look at me right now.'

'Who cares,' said another voice in his mind, 'he deserves it. Paint the walls and floor of this place red in his blood.'

'No...I won't,' thought Shinji a little more forcefully.

'Do it! He would have killed you! Every human being is scum! Every human deserves to be ground into the dirt from which they came out of! The Tree of Life shall regrow and Earth shall be rebuilt!'

'Enough!' thought Shinji silencing the other voice.

Almost as though he had just opened his eyes after sleeping for the past few minutes, Shinji regained control over his self. He looked around at the three bodies lying unconscious on the floor and then at Eein who was leaning against the wooden counter.

"I won't forgive you and you _don't_ deserve to live...in fact I think you know that. But I can't kill you. You're pitiful and a lousy excuse of a human. Go crawl back to your father, and don't let me hear of you hanging around here anymore. Consider yourself lucky...a few more seconds and I would have killed you. Now get out of here!"

Without needing anything further to persuade him, Eein pushed himself off the floor and scrambled to the door, slipping on the floor that was largely red from Shinji's own blood, before he opened the door and closed it with a bang.

As he left, the built of tension still remaining in Shinji seemed to evaporate out of him. Looking down at the three unconscious bodies around him, he decided that at most he should get them out of the cafe. Using both his AT-field, and his own strength, he managed to haul the three of them into a pile around the side of the cafe where an alley ran in between the two roads. Walking back into the shop, he wasn't entirely surprised to see that Rebecca was still in the place Gonzo had left her. She seemed too shocked to speak right now.

Stepping over the broken glass from the door frame that was created by the first bullet, Shinji walked around the side of the counter and was about to put an arm on Rebecca's shoulder when she seemed to collapse from shock. Reaching out for her shoulders, he managed to keep her upright and slowly she seemed to regain control of her feet. Looking around quickly, he found a wash cloth used to clean tables and ran some water over it from the sink before passing it to her.

"Here," he mumbled dejectedly, unsure how much longer he'd even be here before she started shrieking about what a freak he was.

However, she did no such thing.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she took the wet cloth from him, running it over her face slowly. "But really this should be for you," she said as she turned towards him.

Looking back at her, he asked without much hope in his heart, "Why?"

"That wound of yours...you should really go to the hospital. You were shot."

"Its nothing," said Shinji hurriedly.

"Nothing! You're still losing blood! You're-"

She froze mid sentence though as she saw the strangest thing she'd ever see. Almost as though she was watching a movie in reverse, the blood flowing from the inch wide hole in Shinji's shoulder suddenly stopped. Next second her eyes widened, as the flesh around the wound started to swirl inward as if billions of cells were reconnecting the tissue at high speed. Eventually, the wound on Shinji's shoulder was completely sealed up, leaving it slightly raw as though he had just received an Indian burn somehow. That entire right side of his body, including his cloths, was still drenched in blood though.

Shinji knew this would happen sooner or later, and he had rather wanted it to happen without Rebecca having to witness it, for certainly now, she thought he was freak.

"Shinji...you left some things out when you visited last time...didn't you?"

Shinji who had not expected this answer at all, took several seconds to turn to her. It was then that he saw his own reflection in the coffee pot just behind Rebecca, not realizing just how bad he looked. His eyes were of course still blood red, while he had blood splattered over most of his clothes and small streaks of it on his face

"Thats...not the answer I expected to get," said Shinji in all honesty, still not really looking at her.

"Whats that supposed to mean?" asked Rebecca.

"Just that...you see what I am now."

"What you are? Well I don't rightfully know that still. You're different than me certainly, in more ways than one. But does that matter...you've helped me twice now."

"Yeah but...weren't you afraid?" This was what he had been most worried.

"Of course I was. Seeing you like that...it was like I was looking at a different person. What was that orange triangle thing that I saw?"

"That...its called an AT-field...and thats all I can tell you. You already know too much as it is."

"Shinji...what happened to you? You seemed perfectly fine last time I saw you-"

"Last time? Well things have happened since then I guess. But this...its been going on for a while, just...that its been getting stronger recently."

"Why?"

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "I don't even know. There are a lot of theories as to why I have this...power. But I still don't know myself. And I hate it!"

"Well I can understand that but...I mean...you just helped me get rid of Eein for what looks like that last time. So it can't be all that-"

"Rebecca...I killed somebody with this power before." It was only then did Shinji finally look her in the eye, as though trying to get across how serious this was.

"...Oh...what...happened?"

"...Its...too painful. Even now I hate to think about it. Basically I lost control, because it was the first time I had gone into that state where I didn't think of anything except killing the person in front of me...because they harmed somebody dear to me. Usually its my anger that sets it off. The person was even more loathsome than Eein...but even so...I killed him with my own two hands."

"Shinji...I-I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I've been dealing with this for a while now...and I promised that I wouldn't kill anybody with my AT-field ever again...it was only because of that promise that I didn't kill Eein."

"So then...what Asuka asked you before...was she referring to this...AT-field of yours?"

"When we were here last time? Yeah, she was afraid that I had used it against Eein and Gon...wait...you remember Asuka?"

Rebecca blinked back at him, thinking that she had misheard the question.

"Why wouldn't I remember her?" asked Rebecca skeptically. "I'd be hard pressed to forget the annoyed looks she was sending me."

"...I know. But wait, no! How are you able to remember her?"

"What do you mean? ...Did something happen between you?"

Shinji opened his mouth as though he was going to say, 'no,' but instead closed it and turned away from her. Eventually he started very quietly.

"It happened a few days ago...another angel showed up and Asuka...her mind was damaged, her memories of me to be precise. She no longer remembers who I am."

Even though he had promised himself that he wouldn't cry over this, speaking it out loud for the first time made him seize up for a second.

"Shinji...I...Oh my God...isn't there a way to...fix them...or...for her to regain them."

"There is but...its too dangerous, and if it fails her mind would be broken permanently."

"Shinji...are you-"

"I'm fine," he said a little too forcefully. Though seeing that hurt look on her face he sighed and said, "I'm dealing with it okay. But every things...just been happening so quickly. First the fourth shows up, and then Asuka just...disappears from my life."

"The fourth?"

"...Never mind. But anyway, why are you able to remember Asuka, but a bunch of kids at my school aren't able to remember me?"

"Why don't they remember you?"

"Because I met them through Asu-"

'Wait,' he suddenly thought, cutting himself off mid sentence. 'I met Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari through Asuka essentially. If Asuka had never been there, I never would have gotten to know them, because I had never talked to them before. But then what about Rebecca? I introduced Rebecca to Asuka and vice versa...so then...what? Because my memories of Asuka still exist...Rebecca still remembers her?

"Rebecca...how well do you remember Asuka?"

"...I don't under-"

"Clearly, how clearly do you remember her. Features, personality, anythi-"

"Yes, I remember her very clearly, even though it was the first time I'd met her."

"So you could pick her out in a crowd based solely on how she looks."

"Easily...and she doesn't look Japanese at all in the first place."

"True," mumbled Shinji.

"Why do you seem so anxious though?"

"What? Oh nothing...never mind," said Shinji not entirely truthful.

"Shinji...have you seen her at all yet...or talked with her?"

"No...and I don't intend to unless its part of working as an Eva pilot."

"What? Why? You could rebuild the relationship you had before."

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "It doesn't work like that. If I were to try and rebuild my relationship with Asuka, and she remembered everything in the process, it'd be possible that her mind would break...permanently."

"But doing this! Doing absolutely nothing about this and acting as though its fine! Isn't that even worse!"

"I don't care...if she's alive and fine then I can live with simply the memories that I have."

"But they're simply memories, and not a reality!"

"But I can still remember...and thats enough for me."

"You don't believe that do you?"

It took Shinji a few moments to reply, but when he did, she only caught every other word, "I can't afford to _not_ believe that. Because if I don't...I'll end up hurting her."

"But you haven't even tried!"

Shrugging, Shinji mumbled, "No, I haven't...but even if I did it wouldn't make a difference."

Turning away from her, he walked around the side of the counter and started walking towards the door when she shouted, "You're just running away from it all! Can't you see that!"

Shinji seemed to pause for a second and flinch at her words, so like that of his father and for a moment Rebecca thought that he would yell at her, when instead he turned his head towards her and said, "I'm running away for her sake...so its fine. And I probably won't see you again after this, unless its in the sea of LCL fluid. If you'll take my advice, you'll move out of Tokyo-3 and find somebody that cares for you. Goodbye Rebecca.

Shinji turned and grabbed the door nob, ignoring the pane of glass that still hung in the frame, and walked out in the open sun, leaving Rebecca still standing behind the counter.

"'Find somebody that cares for you,'" she mouthed. "As if anybody could care for me as you did."

Finally, a single tear streamed down her face.

* * *

Shinji flipped open the cell phone, when he remembered that somebody had tried to call him before he had entered the cafe and everything else had been blown apart. Two missed calls and a voicemail were waiting for him, both of them from a phone line that he guessed was a Nerv number. Navigating to his voicemail, he pressed the select button and held the phone up to his ear as he listened to the voicemail.

After a moments pause of nothing but silence as though the speaker was unsure whether what they were doing was wise or not, a female voice came on the phone.

"Hey Shinji...its Misato. I guess you left a while ago, because I went to Unit 02's chamber earlier but you had already left. I'd heard that you met the fourth, Nagisa Kaoru I should say, earlier and learned that he would be taking his synchronization test today. He seemed to wish you had been there to watch."

Removing the phone from his ear, Shinji looked down at it while Misato kept talking away about stuff he didn't really care about.

"Call me when you actually have something to say," murmured Shinji as he made to close the phone.

"Asuka woke up...Shinji."

Shinji paused as he was half way through closing the phone, and did a double take. He didn't hear anything for a long time though and thought that Misato had hung up before he heard several quite words.

"Just thought you should know."

A quick click followed shortly after ending the voicemail. The operator started asking the usual questions of saving the voicemail or replaying while Shinji continued looking down at the phone, replaying Misato's last words in his own head. Eventually he closed the phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Thanks Misato," he whispered, before he continued walking down the sidewalk, and back to his cold hard bed waiting for him at Nerv.

* * *

"Dear God its good to be back," jeered Asuka as she threw open the door to Misato's apartment and seemed to parade in.

"Glad you seem so excited," laughed Misato as she walked in behind Asuka, carrying the nights meal with her. She now wondered how she was going to live without Shinji's cooking, but rebuked herself for how selfish she was being.

"After being stuck in that room for three days, even if I can't remember any of it, it just feels good to be back here. Hey can I take a shower first? Ritsuko wouldn't let me for some reason."

"Go ahead," said Misato as she took of her shoes, "you remember where it is right?"

"Of course," replied Asuka, looking at Misato rather shrewdly.

Half an hour later, Asuka walked into the kitchen, drying off her hair with a red towel, effectively matching her fiery hair. She had thrown on a loose, bright yellow tang top and low cut pair of shorts giving every inclination that she didn't care how she looked once she was inside the apartment. Misato was at the table, wearing something similar, and drinking a can of beer, having already finished her dinner.

"Phew...now I feel more like myself," sighed Asuka as she sat down in a chair across from Misato. Looking at the fast food that Misato had just gone through, she scrunched up her face in disgust.

"I had forgotten that you can't cook anything," said Asuka.

"Don't remind me," replied Misato as she took another sip of beer, "And its not as bad as it could have been."

"...What is it exactly?"

"No clue...yours is sitting in the microwave waiting for you to reheat it."

"Thanks," scoffed Asuka not really meaning it.

Misato frowned at her, forgetting how much of a change had happened to her when Shinji entered her life.

Standing up, Asuka walked over to the microwave and punched in some numbers, warming it up quickly, all the time muttering how this was little better than Nerv's food.

'If you don't like it, why don't you cook,' thought Misato. 'Its not like you can't.'

As Asuka sat down back at the table, Misato finally decided to ask, "How do you feel?"

Asuka, who was just about to take her first bite of the lackluster meal, paused and looked up at Misato. Looking back down at her food, she pushed it away from her, suddenly feeling her appetite slip away. Shifting rather uncomfortably now from one side of the chair to the other, she finally said, "I don't...really know. Its a lot to take in all at once...and I don't quite understand the whole memory thing...I mean," she swallowed. "Why did the angel search my memories in the first place...it had to be looking for something, right?"

"Thats what we guessed," said Misato, "but we don't haven any idea what it was looking for," she finished. However, this was a downright lie. Ritsuko had very expressly told her that the angel was searching for anything relating to Shinji, and Asuka seemed to be the person that knew him the best. Or did, at least.

"And things are still...entire blanks. Its like...I can remember myself doing things...and some of it makes sense...but other times its like as though somebody was missing. I asked Ritsuko about these lapses in my memory, but she didn't really say anything. I feel like...there is too much gone, like something was cut out."

Misato looked back at her for a moment, surprised at Asuka's deductive reasoning. Well, she had always been exceptionally smart, so this was somewhat expected.

"I can't explain it any better than Ritsuko can...probably worse for that matter. Memory of course is stored in the brain, and even with all our technological advances in the twenty-first century, we still don't fully understand how the brain works. Maybe everything will just come back to you," said Misato.

"Yeah...maybe," said Asuka rather glumly, not at all in the mood to eat now.

"Well you're alive and well, and you survived a traumatizing experience, so we can be thankful for that. I was worried about you Asuka."

"...Thanks...I know I don't say that often, but when Ritsuko told me..."

"I understand, and you should probably get some rest. Ritsuko wants to do another physical examination on you tomorrow and she doesn't want you moving around too much today."

"Mmm...okay. I'm still a little groggy I guess."

Standing up and completely ignoring the food that was still sitting on the kitchen table she turned towards her room and started walking towards it.

'Why do I feel like Misato wasn't entirely truthful about my memories?' thought Asuka. 'I can understand the brain thing, having taken a class on the study and functions of the brain, but...I don't know, I just feel like she left something out. Eh, whatever, I'm sure I'm just over thinking thi-'

Asuka had thrown open the door to her room only to find it completely empty. After a moments pause, Asuka opened her mouth and...

"THE FUCK! WHERE IS ALL MY STUFF!

From the kitchen could be heard the sound of Misato spilling her beer and a string of cuss words at Asuka's sudden outburst which surprised her.

"Asuka what are you-"

"WHY IS THERE NOTHING IN HERE! WAS I EXPECTED TO DIE OR-"

"Asuka thats the spare room, you're room is next to that one!" yelled Misato.

It took Misato's words a few seconds to sink in until Asuka opened her mouth in a comical, 'O.' Turning back to the empty room, she looked it over and realized that it was slightly smaller than her own room.

'How did I mistake this for my own room, and why did I go here in the first place?'

Sticking her head back into the hallways, she shouted towards Misato, "Has this room always been empty!"

"Of course...why?"

"No...I was just thinking, why I never used it to store my stuff that couldn't fit in my first room. Is it alright if I use it for that?"

Shrugging, Misato said, "Go ahead, nobody else is going to use it."

"Good, because I don't like half my things sitting in the Nerv storage."

As Asuka walked back into the empty room, she didn't see the forlorn look that seemed to pass over Misato's face.

'Yeah, this should be enough room to store everything else I own, since it is only boxes,' thought Asuka back inside the room as she took another look around. 'But why...I don't ever remember being in here before, yet Misato said its been empty this entire time.'

Suddenly, and at this very thought, her mind was hit by such a severe headache that at first she thought something had ruptured inside her brain.

'No...I've been in here before...but...I can't remember. Why can't I remember? I feel as though I should...'

"Asuka? You okay in there?"

"Fine," Asuka heard herself reply, but in truth she wasn't sure if she was fine. This room bothered her for some reason, and she didn't like how she felt standing there.

'Maybe I wont keep my stuff in here,' she thought as she turned around and left Shinji's room.

After closing the door to the empty room, she looked across the hallway at Misato and saw that she was watching her intently. Frowning slightly, she brushed off her miss givings and turned towards her own room. However, she paused as she remembered something.

"Misato...has the third child arrived yet?"

Asuka could have asked anything relating to Shinji, but in Misato's eyes, she couldn't have asked something so hurtful. It showed just how far apart Shinji and Asuka were.

Trying to keep the trembling and hesitancy in her voice to a bear minimum, Misato said, "Yes...both him and the fourth arrived while you were unconscious."

"Both of them...at the same time?"

"It was rather...unexpected. The fourth actually started at your school a few days ago."

"...What about the third?"

"He's...staying at Nerv for certain reason."

"Hmph...sounds like another pet to me. So what are their names?"

Misato blinked several times in response to Asuka's question.

"What? I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that."

"Their names, what are their names," repeated Asuka, looking a little annoyed now.

Misato paused for a second, trying to determine how much damage she would do if she said Shinji's name, when she decided on-

"You'll see them tomorrow no doubt. You can ask them yourself."

Asuka looked at her evenly for a second, before she nodded and said, "Okay...well I suppose I'll go to sleep. Thanks for letting me use the extra room again."

"No problem," mumbled Misato as she looked down at the table, anticipating for when Asuka went into her own room, and sure enough, the moment Asuka's door closed, Misato brought her head down on the wooden table and banged it lightly against it.

'Damn it,' she thought silently with her head still pressed against the table. 'I knew that living with her would be challenging...but...I hate lying to her like this.'

Bringing her head off the table, she drained what remained of her beer and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in.

'What was it that Ritsuko said?' she wondered. 'The body may remember it, but the mind wont? Is it possible that...no, I'm probably over thinking this. But I do need another beer now...'

* * *

Asuka had her back pressed against her door, listening for any sounds coming from the kitchen. She did hear some light thumping sounds, and then it seemed that Misato left her chair and grabbed something out of the fridge.

'Probably another beer,' thought Asuka. 'But what was up with her? She was so...evasive about the third and fourth child. Why though? Unless it has something to do with my memory loss. But no, thats impossible. They were just found two days ago so theres no way they'd have anything to do with...whatever happened to me.'

'But the third child was supposed to be found around the time you arrived in Tokyo-3,' said a small voice in her head.

'Well, yes but, it could have always taken them longer to find him then initially intended,' she replied.

As to that, the voice in her head didn't have anything to reply.

'Well whatever, I'm sure I'm just being paranoid anyway.'

Walking over to her futon, she flopped down on it and buried her hair, still slightly damp from her earlier shower, into her pillow. Nothing felt as good as returning home to your own bed.

'Much better,' she sighed into the pillow, relishing how soft it was against her cheek. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Misato's apartment had fast become a place where she considered home, more so than any other place before then for that matter. However, as memories of the Nerv facilities in Germany, and her own days downtrodden under her father hit her, she rolled to her right and thought, 'Those days are behind me, and I'm an Eva pilot now...the best for that matter. I shouldn't be worried about those things.' But no matter what, they would still hang over her head.

Suddenly yawning widely, she mumbled, "Maybe I should get some sleep, I guess I've still not fully recuperated since I woke up only a few hours ago."

Pushing her head into a more comfortable position against the pillow, she closed her eyes slowly as her last vision was that of the nightstand next to her bed with the lamp on it and-

'What was that?' she thought as her eyes flew back open and fixed themselves on an object resting on the nightstand next to her bed within reaching distance of her arm. It was almost as though it had been placed there on purpose, so that it was easily reachable.

As she reached for the small square box, she thought, 'Did I have something like this? I can't remember ever seeing it before.'

Rolling over onto her back, she held the small box covered with purple velvet above her.

'Is this...mine? But its...'

She trailed off here and decided to just open it.

Bringing it closer to eye level, she snapped open the small box and pulled the hinge back all the way.

"Wha..."

Starring back at her, were the two golden dolphins earrings with the ocean colored eyes that Shinji had gotten for her at the souvenir shop.

"What...this is..."

Reaching into the box, she slowly drew the earrings out and setting the box besides her, held them in the palm of her hands.

"This...is mine? But where...did I get them?"

As she continued looking at them though, two things happened. First: a wide range of emotions hit her. Feelings that she had never expected to know suddenly coursed through her. Longing, sadness, happiness; things that she had never felt before, and it was...pleasant?

Second, however, a splitting headache, far worse than the one a little while ago seared her forehead and she had to bite down on her tongue so that she didn't scream. Though, just as suddenly as it appeared, it disappeared.

'Why? Why do I feel this...over these...but I don't even know...'

As she continued looking at them however, she felt something streak down the side of her face.

"..."

Pressing the hand not holding the earrings to the side of her face, she drew it back only to see something sparkly shining on her hands.

"Am I...crying?"

She was. Pearly white tears streaked down Asuka's face of which she had no control over, and the problem was, she didn't know where they originated from. Now, stronger than before, a feeling of longing swept over her so powerful that for a second she felt like the world had ended.

'What is this?' she wondered, with tears still streaking down her face, before pausing at her chin and falling onto her chest. 'Why am I crying? I don't even know where these came from. But...I feel sad. Why? I don't understand. I-'

But they meant a lot to her, that much she couldn't ignore. She couldn't throw them away, even if she tried. They felt almost like-

'A memory?' she thought. 'Is this...something that has to do with my lost memories?'

As she thought this, almost unbidden, came into her mind an ocean with a large beach in front and a setting sun behind everything. No matter who Asuka was right then, these simple objects clasped in her hand held such a special memory that blankness of mind, or time couldn't destroy it. Because the body remembered.

Closing both her hands around the earring now, she pressed her clasped hands against her chest and thought, 'I don't know why...or even how...but these simple earrings mean more to me than anything else. And yet...they make me incredibly sad. Its weird...I hate feeling sad to the point I forced myself not to cry or feel remorse over anything. But this is different...its like a lost something precious to me that can't ever be replaced.'

Closing her eyes, she tried to conjure up a mental image of how she would have gotten them. A dear friend maybe? An heirloom from her deceased mother? Well, that last part was rather unlikely. But...what about a boy?

'Unlikely,' she thought rather haughtily. 'I've don't even know many boys, and all the ones I do are morons.'

Looking down at the earrings for a moments longer, she grabbed the case beside her which she found them, and carefully placed them back inside. Placing the case back on her nightstand, she arranged it so that it was with reaching distance as it had been before.

'I don't know what significance it played...before, but I feel as though that hasn't changed at all.'

Closing her eyes, she dropped into a peaceful sleep as weariness overcame her such as she had never felt.

* * *

If only Shinji's sleep could have been that peaceful.

He woke up well into the night, having slept earlier after returning from seeing Rebecca, and he now saw that resting those extra few hours had been a mistake. Though with his eyes fully awake, he felt like going to Unit 01's chamber for some reason.

Remembering the familiar path that he had taken the first time, he entered the elevator, and slowly descended into the heart of Nerv. Though as the elevator door opened he intended to step out onto the walkway, but drew back suddenly as he saw to figures already standing in front of Unit 01. Peaking around the corner he saw two of the unlikeliest conversational partners talking to each other, and whats more, it seemed that they appeared to be arguing.

"Ayanami and...Kaoru?" he mumbled.

They were standing on the walkway facing each other and seemed to be talking as if they knew each other, but Shinji wasn't mistaken in the tone of their voices. Rei, who very rarely showed emotion but had slowly improved was clearly showing an emotion that Shinji had never expected to see. She almost looked...angry? No, that wasn't quite right. It was more like she disapproved. Kaoru on the other hand was still smiling as if everything was perfectly fine, but it was his eyes that gave him away. They were cold and hard as he stared back at Rei.

'I feel like I shouldn't be watching this...but I also feel as though it has something to do with me. Why else would they be in Unit 01's chamber?'

Watching for a few minutes longer, Shinji was tempted to step out and interrupt them when the two of them seemed to reach a conclusion to their discussion and Kaoru gave one last smile before he walked away. Shinji was glad that he had not decided to walk to the elevator that he was standing in.

Thinking about the best course of action, Shinji found that he couldn't ignore Rei standing there any longer and walked out on the walkway. Though as he reached her back which turned was towards him, she said, "What are you doing here." It wasn't accusatory or curious. Simply a statement.

As Shinji walked past her, he looked up at the face of Unit 01 and said while shrugging, "Couldn't sleep...and I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing here?"

"I was ordered here."

"By who?"

"The commander."

"My father? Why?"

"I'm on standby incase the next angel decides to attack suddenly."

Shinji sighed and said, "I had heard that Nerv was tightening security, but I didn't think that we'd have to remain on standby into the night also."

"I do not mind."

Shinji turned his gaze away from Unit 01 and instead looked at Rei out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to ask what she was talking about with Kaoru, but figured she wouldn't answer.

"You go," he said instead. "I'll stay here on standby since I can't sleep."

Rei looked at him rather questionably for a second before she asked, "Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about it...I need to think about somethings anyway."

Rei looked at him for a moment before she said, "Okay...let me know if you desire to switch later in the night."

"Okay," mumbled Shinji not really listening to her.

Rei then turned and walked towards the elevator which Shinji came down and ascended back into the uppermost levels of Nerv, leaving Shinji to his own thoughts about what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

The elevator doors opened for Kaoru and he stepped out.

As he walked down the long dark hallways of Nerv, he replayed the conversation he had just had with Ayanami Rei.

'Or at least as she calls herself,' thought Kaoru.

They had recognized each other for what they were immediately upon seeing each other. It was during his synchronization test that they had seen each other. He, as he climbed out of the entry plug of Unit 02, having achieved a virtually perfect synchronization, though admittedly he could have gone higher. And her, as she watched from the control room.

"Ayanami Rei as the embodiment of Lilith, and Nagisa Kaoru, myself, as the embodiment of Adam. ...Then where does Ikari Shinji fit into all of this?"

However something else was troubling Kaoru, something that having the soul of Adam resting inside of him could only detect.

"Where is the soul of Lilith?" he whispered.

He did not know this, and it troubled him. Ayanami Rei did not have the soul of Lilith residing in her, which didn't make sense. Unless the persona of Ayanami Rei had developed a soul of its own, but the foundation of her existence was still that of Lilith. As the embodiment of Adam, the only thing that could trouble him was this. But he still had time to think of this, for something else would be coming soon.

Looking up to the ceiling of the hallway he was in, his red eyes seemed to pierce through it and look off into the far distance.

"Looks like my brothers time is almost here."


	23. Meeting

**Well...it hasn't even been a week since the last chapter was posted, so at this rate it should be finished by...mid July or so. Many things are going to be coming out in the next two chapters, and one major thing will be revealed. So stay tuned!.**

* * *

Shinji could almost feel the impeding danger before it happened, which is why he was ready before the alarms were even sounded.

He had ended spending the entire night in Unit 01's chamber, rotating between sleeping and thinking, though admittedly, he spent more time just sitting there and staring at Unit 01 without any clear thought in his mind. However, almost as though he had been waiting for it, the second that the alarms started, he was already moving and changing into his plug suit. Though he wasn't the only one.

As Shinji pressed the button on the right wrist of the plug suit that tightly pressed it to the rest of his body and clipped the A10's to his head, Kaoru walked in to the changing room as though this was a drill they ran every day.

Shinji and his eyes met for a minute, during which Shinji didn't give an inclination that he wished to talk, though Kaoru didn't seem as though he shared the same desire.

"Shinji-kun. You sure got here earlier."

"As did you," replied Shinji, knowing that ignoring someone like him would never work.

"Me? I was walking around the Geofront, examining the lake and the trees when the alarms sounded."

"Err...I don't mean to be rude, but do you honestly expect to sortie today?"

Laughing lightly, Kaoru said as he dawned his own plug suit (which like Shinji's was colored blue on the bottom half, but on the upper half was a dark shade of gray), "I don't know if I will, but if I do I'll be sure to help. I may not have as much experience as you and Ayanami Rei does, but I hope that I can learn. At most I'll be put on standby."

Shinji ignored the fact that he had neglected in mentioning Asuka's name. The fact that he would be piloting Unit 02 was already bad enough.

Continuing to look at him for a brief second longer, he thought of asking him how his synchronization test went, but decided better of it.

"Do we know anything about this angel?" asked Shinji as he made to leave the locker room.

Shaking his head, Kaoru said, "No, it just descended through the atmosphere minutes ago and seems to be simply hovering in place. It looks just like a halo."

'Rather fitting in a way,' thought Shinji.

"Well I'm going, cya out there if you make it," said Shinji as he left through the sliding door.

He missed the smile that Kaoru sent in his direction.

* * *

Asuka would have dearly liked to have slept longer, still feeling slightly weary about the previous day, but Misato had other plans. Almost at the crack of dawn, just as Shinji was dawning his plug suit, she walked into Asuka's room and quickly roused her.

"...Misato? What time is it?"

"I've no idea but we need to leave for Nerv right now. Just throw on some clothes."

"But what about a shower? And I look terrible," replied Asuka as she looked in the mirror across her room that rested on her dresser.

"No time," said Misato, clearly desperate to leave. "An anxgel just descended on Tokyo-3 and I have to go in, and I can't have you staying here alone without annoying watching you."

"I don't need a baby sitter," mumbled Asuka feeling slightly disgruntled.

"Asuka!"

"Fine I get it," she said as she tossed the covers off herself, and slowly walked over to her dresser.

"I'll give you seven minutes," said Misato as she turned around and closed the door to Asuka room.

'I see you had plenty of time to fix yourself up,' thought Asuka feeling annoyed as Misato left her room, already having taken a shower earlier.

Opening several drawers to her dresser, she went through a lot of the different clothes she had worn, wondering why she hadn't bothered buying anything new while here in Tokyo-3. Finally deciding on something incredibly simple, she threw the clothes she had fallen asleep in into a corner and undid the clasp on each of the shoulder straps that held her bra against her chest. Pausing here though, she looked at her semi naked self in the mirror and then turned around to look at the nightstand next to her bed where the case holding the earrings still rested. Shaking her head though after thinking about it, she turned back to the mirror and said to her reflection, "No, I shouldn't wear them. Its something too dear to me."

"Asuka? Are you done yet?" came Misato's voice just outside her door

"Almost," said Asuka untruthfully.

After several more minutes though, which Misato spent most of her time tapping her foot on the floor, Asuka finally opened the door to her room. As before, she had decided on something simple, this being a pair of dark blue jeans that was cut off just above the knees, and a bright red shirt, one of her favorites. And as usual, she had the A10 nerve clips holding her hair up. Though as Misato saw these, she hoped that Asuka didn't expect to pilot, even though she did wear them everywhere she went.

"Hurry, we need to go. I was supposed to be there half an hour ago."

'Like thats my fault,' thought Asuka.

"Well with your driving we'll be sure to make it in record time," said Asuka smugly.

* * *

The elevator doors opened for Shinji and he walked out into the command center. Both Rei and Ritsuko were there, but he didn't see any sign of Misato, but then he did a double take as he saw that somebody else was there.

"Father?" he mumbled.

Gendo Ikari was sitting in his usually chair with Kozo Fuyutsuki on his right side. Apparently he was overseeing this operation as well as the last. Shinji narrowed his eyes as he remembered the complete screwup that was the previous operation and hoped that there wouldn't be a repeat. Now trying to ignore the presence of his father, he walked over to Ritsuko and Rei, saying a brief hello to Rei before he asked Ritsuko, "How come Misato's not here yet?"

"She slept in late, or at leasts thats her excuse. Though I imagine she had a rough time last night."

Shinji then looked at Ritsuko rather skeptically and asked, "...Why?"

"...You heard that Asuka is awake and all?"

"Yeah, and that she's living with Misato again. I already had all my stuff taken out of there and moved to storage two days ago, so there shouldn't be any-"

"How do you rate Asuka's level of intelligence?"

Shinji had to hold back a mocking laugh here.

"She went to college...so what do you think?"

Ignoring Shinji's remark, Ritsuko instead said, "Then how do you think Misato dealt with the bombardment of questions that Asuka was sure to ask her?"

As realization seemed to dawn on Shinji, he hung his head slightly and said, "Oh...I see what you mean. Though I don't think she would say anything too...damaging."

'To Asuka or to you,' thought Ritsuko silently.

"Thats not all though. Asuka had another physical examination that I had scheduled, but it doesn't look as though that will happen because of this," said Ritsuko, gesturing to the floating halo like angel on the screens. "And Misato wont let her stay at the apartment alone, so Asuka will be coming in...and soon most likely."

It took Shinji a long time to reply or even move after what she had said. A million things were running through his mind then. How should he react when he first see's her again? Should he ignore her? Act as though it was there first time meeting? Maybe he should adopt her own attitude, and be abrasive and rude, that way she'd hate him from the go.

"Shinji...are you okay?" asked Ritsuko, pulling Shinji out of his train of thought.

"What? Yeah...fine. Thanks for telling me this."

Ritsuko looked at him passively for a second before she said, "Do you want to stay or-"

"I can't keep ignoring this," said Shinji not showing much emotion now. "And sooner or later I will have to talk with her."

"Well yes, seeing as how you work together. But are you okay mentally? These past few days I've noticed that you've become increasingly erratic...and yesterday you came back soaked in-"

"What I do outside of Nerv is none of your business," said Shinji harshly.

"Shinji, I understand that this is hard, putting on this face and-"

"What would you understand?" he replied, rebuking her angrily. "You understand even less then Misato does, because you can't even understand how I felt!"

That shut Ritsuko up instantly, but his last sentence suddenly confused her. Why had he used the past tense of 'felt?' Unless his feelings had-

Suddenly, the clearing of a throat was heard from above them and Ritsuko turned to see the commander looking at the angel on the screen, but she could almost swear that behind his glasses, his eyes were looking down on them.

'Best to end this I suppose,' thought Ritsuko.

"The pressing problem though," she said now, forgetting there argument, "is how to deal with this angel. Its AT-field has not subsided since it assumed its current position, nor do we have any idea what its capable of. The possibility of it being able to change its form is very high."

"Send Unit 00 out and Unit 02 out as backup," said Gendo from up high.

Shinji, rather reluctant, turned to his father and asked, "Why not Unit 01?"

"I have not removed the freeze that has been placed upon Unit 01," replied Gendo, looking down at Shinji. "Unit 00 will disrupt the angels AT-field while Unit 02 will destroy it with the rifle. Is that acceptable?" said Gendo, looking towards somebody leaning against the wall directly to the left of the elevator doors. Shinji was rather surprised that he was asking for affirmation from somebody other then himself.

Now Shinji turned in the direction his father was speaking of, and saw that sometime during his and Ritsuko's conversation, Kaoru had entered the command center.

"More than enough," said Kaoru smiling. "If I'm given ample time and if Unit 00 can hold off the angel long enough."

"You're...sortieing Kaoru?"

"Well of course he is," said Ritsuko. "He scored nearly as high as you've done, and during his first synchronization test."

Shinji looked shocked at this sudden revelation. He had always known that Kaoru was different in some way, and that he would most likely have a high sync ratio...but one to rival his own?

"What...you said before," mumbled Shinji, in reference to there talk in the locker room.

"I was being modest, since I knew you wouldn't be able to leave."

Here his smile stretched so wide that it almost looked as though he had dislocated his jaw to achieve it. But his eyes still seemed cold, at least to Shinji. But even so, everybody else, excluding Rei, seemed to think it was creepy.

"Units 00 and 02 will proceed up shaft three and eight, surrounding the enemy effectively. Operation time will be set to ten minutes, to start as soon as Major Katsuragi arrives." Here he turned to Rei and said, "I'll be counting on you."

Shinji couldn't help but feel a little jealous as he saw the look of care pass over his fathers face, something that he would never see in one hundred years. But he was even more surprised as Rei's mouth seemed to draw up in a smile.

"What about me?" asked Shinji, not caring whether he got an answer or not.

"Standby in Unit 01 until the operation is over," said Gendo without looking at him.

'How about I get in Unit 01 and tear of your fucking-'

But he had to calm himself down, getting any more angry than he already was, and his angel self might just come boiling to the surface. Then he'd be in solitary confinement for the rest of the day.

"Fine," said Shinji, not bothering to hold back the sneer that escaped his lips.

Walking away from everybody, he though that at most he'd be able to mull everything over inside of Unit 01, since it seemed that was the only place he could escape everything now. Though as he walked to the elevator, they opened of there own accord and two people stepped out.

No matter what Shinji had said to Ritsuko, he had hoped that he would be able to put off this meeting for at least another day, but found he had no other choice, as Misato stepped out of the elevator with Asuka in tow, who was looking extremely stunning with the dark blue pair of jeans and red short sleeve shirt she was wearing. Shinji couldn't but feel slightly glad to at least see her and know that at most, she still looked the same, but it was underneath all that that worried him.

He had rehearsed this conversation many times before, with varying people present at the time, but now felt that it was impossible to truly prepare himself for this, so deciding to blow caution to the winds, he said, "Oh, hey Misato. Glad to see you made it. Ritsuko said that you would be late."

"...Yeah," mumbled Misato, just as clearly shocked about being suddenly thrust between the reunion of Shinji and Asuka, one of which had know idea that the boy standing before her was the boy that she had once had feelings for and had given her the earrings.

Asuka however looked around Misato to glance at Shinji, who she of course didn't know the name of. But her first impression was, 'Another dork, just like the two stooges back at school. He'll soon be fawning over everything I do, just as all the others.'

Shinji was trying to ignore Asuka as much as possible, but found it difficult with her looking him over, since to her, it was her first time seeing him. He found this increasingly difficult as he hadn't seen her face since he had left her hospital room those many nights ago, and knew that if he pushed his resolve too far, he'd possibly break down and start crying.

"You heading down to Unit 01?" asked Misato.

"Yeah, but I probably wont be sortieing," said Shinji, praying to God that she wouldn't mention anything about the freeze, or how high his sync ratio was. That was sure to get Asuka angry, and curious about him.

"Kaoru and Ayanami will be fighting this time." Shinji purposefully left out the part about Unit 02 being piloted by Kaoru. Call him a coward or whatever, but he was not going to be the one that broke the news to Asuka that her Eva was being piloted by somebody else.

"Well, be careful if the commander does send you out," said Misato, only too eager to end the conversation. "You are a promising pilot, and we wouldn't want to lose you."

Shinji was rather surprised at how cool Misato had played that, and had to assume she had spent last night working on what he himself had tried to do.

"Will do Misato...and thanks."

Shinji now started walking towards the elevator, where he of course would have to pass by Asuka, though Misato turned towards him and said quite clearly, speaking in the voice she normally wore for battles instead of the fake one she had been using.

"Shinji...be careful..."

Shinji seemed to pause as his own name was mentioned and thought briefly about how he should reply, when he released his tension that had skyrocketed the second he saw Asuka and said, "Right...thanks Misato." He meant it in more ways than one.

Turning towards the elevator, he also reluctantly turned towards Asuka, and in the brief second he looked at her face, he saw several things. First: she had a slight frown plastered on her beautiful face, something that did not suit her, at least as far as Shinji thought. It was then that he thought, 'She's already heard my name before?' But it wasn't that surprising that she would have heard him mentioned sometime yesterday. Second, however, something else happened, though it was more readable in her eyes, and only Shinji could have picked it up. It seemed like something had...pained her. He thought he saw her briefly wince as though some sort of pain had hit her that lasted less than a second. But what on earth could that have been?

All this happened in almost less than a second, before Shinji passed Asuka without even a single word directed at her, which struck Asuka as very odd, seeing as how every boy she had ever met had been stricken dumb at the sight of her. Yet here was a boy that didn't even pass a glance at her.

'And why did I suddenly have a splitting headache?' thought Asuka.

After Asuka heard the sound of the elevator leaving the commander center, she hurried to Misato's side who had already walked over to Ritsuko and was talking to her hurriedly, asking for any updates or information acquired from the angel.

"Misato...who was that?"

"Who was what?" replied Misato, not really paying attention as she read over several papers detailing the angels AT-field.

"That boy that you talked to...Shinji...or whatever the hell his name was."

"Him? He's the third child," said Misato, still not looking up from her papers. "He's Shinji Ikari and the pilot of Evangelion Unit 01."

"Ikari...so he's related to-"

"Yes the commander...he's his son actually."

"Hmph, explains how he got to become a pilot," said an annoyed Asuka.

Asuka then turned and looked behind her where she had thought the pet and the other boy had stood, only to see that they had also left.

"So the other one...he's the fourth?"

"Yes, his name is Nagisa Kaoru, and he's your classmate."

"I see," said Asuka. "Well I should probably get ready myself."

This time, Misato did turn toward her and said, "We can't have you pilot yet."

"What? Why not? I feel fine."

"I'm sure you do, but we wont know for sure until we run synchronization tests with you and Unit 02."

"I know myself better than anyone. And besides, they need me out there. The new idiots wont even know how to fire their rifles properly."

"If they need help, Rei can give them some pointers," said Misato all the while thinking how both Kaoru and Shinji had higher sync ratios than Asuka.

"Tch, the pet? All she knows how to do is follow orders."

"Asuka, if you're finished I need you to find a seat and sit down. I can't be talking to you while I talk with the pilots."

"Who cares about them," said Asuka stubbornly as she found a seat as Misato had suggested.

After being certain that Asuka was sitting, Misato turned back to the screens and said to Rei and Kaoru, "The angel still hasn't made a move, but the moment you leave the Geofront, be prepared for interception. As planned, Unit 00 will open a hole in the angels AT-field, while Unit 02 provides cover fire and eventually destroys the angel."

Asuka's head whipped around the second she heard Unit 02 mentioned.

"Okay, you have your orders. Unit 00, Unit 02, operation commen-Asuka what are you doing!"

Asuka had pushed her aside and looked up at the screen showing the Eva's standing side by side on the catapult, ready to be sent up. To the right of Unit 00 stood-

"WHY THE FUCK IS MY EVA OUT THERE! AND WHO THE FUCK IS PILOTING IT!"

Misato, shaking herself off from being pushed fairly roughly by Asuka, hurriedly said, "Asuka, this is only a temporary thing and-"

"I DON'T CARE IF ITS EVEN FOR A SECOND! NOBODY ELSE IS ALLOWED TO PILOT THAT EXCEPT MYSELF! GET WHOEVER THE HELL IS IN THERE OUT!"

"Asuka we need Unit 02 and seeing as how you can't pilot yet-"

"CAN'T PILOT YET! WHO SAID THAT! I KNOW MY BODY PERFECTLY WELL AND I SAY THAT I CAN PILOT!"

"And I'm saying that its out of the question!" said Misato, speaking extremely sternly and only too aware that Shinji was probably listening to this conversation right now.

Asuka seemed to open her mouth in another angry retort, when she instead said, "Fuck you!" And ran towards the elevator, hammering the button until the lift arrived.

Misato frowned at her, guessing what she had said. But really, it was stupid of her to get so angry over this. But then again, piloting Unit 02 was how she proved that everything she's done before now, wasn't in vain.

"Let her go," said Ritsuko while looking at numbers that were flying over the computers. "We have enough problems to deal with," she said as Unit 00 and Unit 02 were sent rocketing up the gates.

"...I know," sighed Misato feeling slightly sad.

Turning around, she just had time to see the elevator doors close, sending Asuka back into the heart of Nerv.

* * *

Unit 00 came flying out of the ground on a near hill side to the north of Tokyo-3 while Unit 02 did likewise, though slightly to the east of Unit 00's position. As Rei had Unit 00 stand up to its full height, she got her first good look at the angel still hovering in the air. It looked exactly like a giant white halo floating in the air, except it looked similar to a DNA strand with they way the two different strand wrapped around each other.

"Rei," came Misato's voice over the intercom, "The angels AT-field is still up, so wait a moment while Kaoru draws its fire to himself before you move in."

"No," said Rei quickly. "Its coming."

Almost at her very words, the halo like DNA strand suddenly broke on one end, looked towards Unit 00 and then the entire thing suddenly rocketed towards it. Now it was a solid white object in the shape of a giant earthworm, but it seemed much more flexible, able to twist this way and that as it soared towards Unit 00.

"Rei deploy your AT-field!" yelled Misato.

Rei didn't need telling twice as she immediately generated Unit 00's AT-field at full power, but the angel amazingly soared right through, striking where the core of Unit 00. The AT-field that Rei had generated seemed completely useless, as the angel seemed to erode it almost instantly. Suddenly several shots of a rifle seemed to come from far away, striking the angel in its mid section. But it didn't seem to phase it all; the blows sunk right into the angel as though it had absorbed it.

"Status of Unit 00!" yelled Misato.

"AT-field seems to have been eroded almost on immediate contact with the angel."

"What about the rifle shots? Why didn't they damage it?"

"Unknown. The angels AT-field wasn't even up and it seemed to absorb the impact of the bullet. Though it may have completely eroded the bullet before contact was achieved," said Ritsuko as she examined the constant readout that the computers were supplying.

"Kaoru, get down there and help Rei," said into the intercom.

"I'm on it," said Kaoru, and for once he sounded serious.

"Update on Unit 00."

"Holding off the angel as best as possible."

Though the angel had struck its core, Rei had managed to grab what could be assumed as the head of the angel, and was not holding it at arms length. Though this was apparently the wrong move. Suddenly, the angel seemed to pass directly through the outstretched palm of Unit 00 as though it had turned invisible. Next, from the fingers to the wrist, every single nerve between those two points suddenly bulged forward as though the blood circulation had been cut off. The angel continued forcing its way through the flesh of Unit 00 as though it was fusing itself with the Eva

"Whats going on!" yelled Misato, worrying that by the end of the day she would be hoarse.

"The angel seems to be fusing with the bioparts of Unit 00. Pilot life signs are dropping and synchronization has been cut by seven percent. The pilot seems to be...experiencing something similar to the pilot of Unit 01."

"How? Rei's sync ratio isn't anywhere near as high as Shinji's."

"No," said Ritsuko in reply to Misato's question. "It seems to be an innate ability of the angel, its fusing with the Eva and taking control of all functions. Though the pilot seems to be experiencing the same as the Eva.

She was right. Inside the entry plug of Unit 00, Rei was wincing in pain as every nerve in her right arm was popping out of the plug suit she wore.

"Rei? Whats wrong? Rei!"

"Communication has been forcefully cut from the entry plug. Contamination is continuing to spread along the right vertebrae. Ten percent of bioparts have been completely fused."

"Bring the concentration of the LCL fluid to the minimum," said Gendo Ikari suddenly. "And eject the entry plug."

"LCL fluid able to lower, but the entry plug is refusing the signal. Umbilical cord detached, four minutes and fifty-eight seconds remaining of power."

"Kaoru hurry!" said Misato.

Unit 02 soared into the open sky suddenly, blocking out the sun briefly as it landed near the angel. Almost at the very feel of this sudden strange pressure, the angel seemed to change its attention to Unit 02. Next though, even the computers of Nerv couldn't have predicted what happened. The angel seemed to split itself into two separate halves.

Before, when it had looked like a giant halo floating in mid air, it had two strands woven together as though it looked like a DNA strand. Now, with a good portion of it already buried in Unit 00, the end of the angel suddenly split in two, before extracting one of the halves out of Unit 00. It didn't even seem like it was made of flesh, more like a mass of raw energy. Now turning its new head towards Unit 02, it flew to it in a straight line, preparing to crush this strange pressure.

'Bit ironic that I'd be fighting you brother,' though Kaoru briefly, 'but then again this is what was delegated to me.'

Quickly sidestepping the angel, he grabbed the prog knife in the shoulder of Unit 02 and brought it down into the angel. Though the knife did stab directly into the angel, it didn't seem to leave any visible wound, and next second, the knife slowly disintegrated before Kaoru's eyes.

'Well nobody said this would be easy I suppose,' he thought somewhat snidely.

Jumping backwards, he skidding across the earth, creating large tracks in the earth that looked like a hundred foot bulldozers had rolled over the spot.

'I suppose I can't use both the Eva's AT-field and my own, since that would give everything away instantly.'

Dodging the angel which almost seemed like a whitish blur now, he said over the intercom at Misato, "I can't get any closer at this rate with another of these things."

Misato bit her lip in frustration, unable to decide on a course of action. They had two of these things to contend with, while all the time Unit 00's situation deteriorated slowly.

"If I may make a bold suggestion, have Shinji-kun launch in Unit 01. With both of us, one can distract while the other helps Unit 00."

"Yes but...I don't have the authority to..." Misato then looked above her where Gendo Ikari sat with his hands clasped together as though thinking. Kozo however, who stood beside him, bent down and whispered something in his ears. Listening intently, Gendo mumbled something back which nobody was able to hear, but it seemed he had at least come to a decision.

"Very well, I give permission now to release the freeze placed over Unit 01."

"Shinji did you-"

"Got it," said Shinji who admittedly had been listening anxiously the entire time.

"Then proceed to elevator shaft three," said Misato hurriedly. "Unit 01 will hold off the remnant of the angel while Unit 02 assists Unit 00 in the extraction of the angel. Time until Unit 00 goes silent?"

"Three minutes."

Misato bit her lip furiously. Three minutes until all activity in Unit 00 stopped functioning.

"Shinji don't forget about the AT-field. The angel can erode them"

'Like I didn't already know that,' thought Shinji as he was sent flying up towards the battlefield.

* * *

Asuka sat in a corner of Nerv all by herself. Almost all personal not directly associated with assisting during the battles had been evacuated to shelters as safety procedures required, meaning that since she had left the command center she hadn't seen a single soul, and she was now feeling extremely lonely. But how could Misato have done that, letting another person pilot her Eva? It was down right unacceptable. What had they thought? That she was too damaged mentally to be able to pilot ever again?

'Its the fourth child...whatever the hell his name is; the other one already has his own,' thought Asuka savagely. 'I swear I'm going to drown him in a pool of his blood after this. And _he's_ my classmate. God!'

Even so, she felt a little remorseful in the way she had been rude to Misato. Misato after all let her stay at her apartment, and she was really the only person Asuka knew when she came from Germany, having met Misato several times before then.

'Maybe I should apologize.'

But in truth, she hated this waiting without knowing what was going on. For all she knew, the angel could be disassembling her lovely Unit 02 because of the retarded piloting inside of it right now.

'Right, I can apologize later, after the battle is over. Right now though, I just want to know whats going on.'

Standing up, she felt her legs stiffen slightly as she had been sitting in that position for a while. Suddenly though, she felt a vibration go through the floor and wondered briefly, 'Was that another Eva?'

* * *

Shinji flew out into the open sky and for a brief moment he reveled in the fact that he was under the bright blue sky, piloting Unit 01 again when reality came quickly back to him. He saw that Kaoru in Unit 02 had retreated a ways away from the separate half of the angel until Shinji had arrived. Though the angel didn't hesitated to take notice of this newcomer.

The separate half suddenly darted towards Unit 01, intending to fuse together with Unit 01, when Shinji had Unit 01 place its right arm outward, intent on generating an AT-field.

At that moment, as Misato realized what Shinji was about to do, several things happened. First, Misato yelled, "Shinji don't! The angel is able to completely erode the AT-field. If it comes in contact with Unit 01's bioparts it will fuse with you." Second, Asuka chose to return to the command center at that very moment, just to hear Misato's final words before Shinji generated Unit 01's AT-field.

But the angel was stopped dead the second it struck the AT-field.

Misato, completely dumbfounded by this, turned to Ritsuko and asked, "What happened? Why didn't the angel erode it?"

"You've forgotten that Unit 01 and its pilot is able to generate the strongest AT-field that we have every witnessed thus far. And also...he reinforced Unit 01's AT-field with his own at the last second. It was the correct decision on his part. The erosion is still taking place, but at a much slower pace. As Unit 01's AT-field erodes, he's able to reinforce the damaged parts with his own, significantly smaller AT-field."

"And he somehow came up with this in the span of five minutes or so?"

"It would appear so," said Ritsuko. "But I don't know how long he'll be able to keep this up. His sync ratio is lower than its been in recent memory. Barely holding at ninety-one percent, at equal level with Kaoru's."

'Considering everything thats happened,' thought Misato, 'its a wonder that its not lower.'

"Shinji, how long can you hold the angel off?" asked Misato.

Shinji's face suddenly appeared on one of the many screens in the command center and several people who had not become accustomed to his abnormal self, gasped as they saw his eyes had turned a blood red.

"I don't know," said Shinji truthfully, "All the wind was knocked out of me when the angel hit both AT-fields and the erosion is happening quicker than I had expected. Kaoru, can you get to Ayanami now?"

"Leave it to me," said Kaoru as his face appeared briefly on the screen before disappearing.

"Time till Unit 00 seizes movement?"

"Two minutes and counting."

"Shinji...can you?"

"I can hold it off, but I don't know what'll happen after Kaoru rescues Ayanami and I let the AT-fields down. Where the hell is the core in this thing even?"

"We're working on it," said Misato as she looked over at Ritsuko who was still examining the computers of Nerv.

"Right, then I'll-" But Shinji froze as he saw who else was in the command center, and he hadn't entirely banked on her seeing everything. Certainly some of it, but he had figured she'd get furious and stomp off once she learned her Unit 02 was piloted by Kaoru. Asuka instead was staring back at him, entirely focused on his face and the way his blood red eyes were gleaming in the LCL fluid. Misato seemed to notice something wrong also, because she spun around and saw that Asuka was looking up at Shinji, with a confused look on her face. Evidently, she could tell that something had changed with him.

"Asuka," Misato started, but fell short as she saw that Asuka had taken a step forward towards the screen, her eyes still on Shinji. Though as her lips parted slightly it seemed like she was going to ask him a question, when Shinji severed the connection.

Staying still inside Unit 01 he thought briefly 'I'd rather she had never seen that,' before he turned back to his own situation.

Back in the command center, everything had come to a frozen halt as they all waited for the hammer to fall; even Gendo and Kozo were silent.

Very slowly, Asuka asked, "Misato...what was that?"

Misato stood as still and silent as a stone statue, but found that she couldn't keep this from Asuka, because certainly she would find out about it eventually, either from some obscure person, or Misato's own mouth.

"That is Shinji Ikari...as his other self...his angel self. We don't know how, or why, but he has angel blooding flowing through him and his own DNA has several small strands of what appears to be an angels DNA. You may have wondered why, when you arrived in Tokyo-3 that the third was supposed to be found around the same time. Truth is...he was, but then we learned of this, and had to run numerous experiments on him. Considering everything that we've put him through, its a wonder he still cooperates. As for his sync ratio...well its holding at ninety one percent, but we've seen him go above four hundred before."

Asuka had noway of knowing that a large chunk of this was entirely false, and that Misato had made up a part of it on the spot.

Frowning now at Misato, Asuka asked, "Why didn't I know about this before?"

"Because...he's rather sensitive about the whole thing," said Misato, making something up again. "He hates the whole thing, but he also understands that he can help by exhibiting his angel powers."

"So...he can create an AT-field?"

"...Yes...and Asuka."

"...What?"

"Don't ask him about it."

Asuka continued looking at Misato for a second before she turned her head and said sincerely, "I wont..."

Misato was rather taken aback at how Asuka had handled this. She had been quite positive that Asuka would view him as a freak, furthering the gap between them, but it seemed as though she had shown compassion, if that was even possible for Asuka as she was now.

'Maybe she can understand,' thought Misato before she turned her head back to the battle. 'Since she herself was considered different by her past classmates and shunned because of it.'

Meanwhile Asuka was now watching the green and purple Unit 01 as it continued holding off the angels attacks. She had certainly been surprised about the whole thing, especially his sync ratio, which she wasn't entirely thrilled at. But she also felt that a part of her thought he was different from the moment she saw him. He had looked liked any boy she had ever met before, and if they had passed on the street she wouldn't have taken a second glance at him. But he didn't even spare her a single glance, almost as though she was part of the wall. And she had been...what? Hurt by it? That somebody hadn't accepted how beautiful she was, when she herself knew it.

'And what was that before?' she wondered. 'He seemed surprised to see me here?'

* * *

As Shinji continued holding off the angel, Kaoru in Unit 02 charged towards Unit 00 which still had the angel perturbing out of the palm of its hand. Most of Unit 00's nerves had by now been fully fused with the angel and large portions of Unit 00's body were oddly disfigured.

As Kaoru neared Unit 00 he realized that it would be almost impossible to rescue Rei while keeping Unit 00 in tact. Furthermore, if the angel reached the core of Unit 00, then it could either force the self destruct, or take full control of the Unit.

'Who would have guessed brother would have been so difficult to deal with. And he's usually rather shy,' thought Kaoru as he prepared to sever the right arm of Unit 00 with Unit 02's AT-field. If he was able to use his own AT-field, the battle would be over in seconds. Be that as it may, as he was about to bring the arm of Unit 02 down, the angel suddenly seemed to twist around and look at him, as though it new what he was. At this last instant, Kaoru hesitated ever so slightly, giving the angel time to move.

The end of the angel that was still perturbing out of Unit 00 suddenly elongated and shot forward, constantly expanding its reach until it reached Unit 02. Kaoru, realizing his brief feelings of remorse over his brother that he had felt moments ago, swore slightly and barely managed to miss the angel as it shot just under Unit 02's left arm. However Unit 02 didn't seem to be its target as it continued elongating, soaring towards Unit 01. As Shinji saw this happening, he had just enough time to register what was going to happen as the angel suddenly seemed to swallow the smaller split off version of itself, and crashed against the AT-field. Almost immediately, Shinji felt Unit 01's AT-field erode and he suddenly dashed backwards as he felt his own AT-field being eroded. He didn't want to think what would happen if he lost his own AT-field.

The angel continued soaring after him, twisting every direction that Shinji tried.

"Misato!" he yelled suddenly, ignoring Asuka's presence. "How much time does Ayanami have!"

"Just under a minute, but the life support systems have failed earlier then expected and over eighty percent of Unit 00 has been fused with the angel."

"Damn it!" Shinji swore. "Kaoru, get Ayanami out of there if you have to rip off the entry plug."

"On it said," said Kaoru, as he dashed forward towards Unit 00. Though just as he stretched out Unit 02's arm, part of the angel branched off of the main body, and the previous split off piece of the angel that Shinji had been battling flew towards Kaoru, still connected to the main body.

"Tch."

Kaoru had Unit 02 stretch out both its arms and generate an AT-field then, barely managing to hold back the branched off part of the angel.

"I can't get any closer than this!" yelled Kaoru.

Shinji swore again as he had Unit 01 duck under the angels attack. Following up with this, he ran in a parallel line directly to the left of the angels body. The angel them seemed to almost reel itself in, as the main body suddenly retracted so that it could catch Shinji and Unit 01 before he reached Rei and Unit 00.

"Forty-five seconds," said Misato's anxious voice.

"Damn it," yelled Shinji again as he stretched out Unit 01's right arm to Unit 00, but suddenly his entire body was jerked backward.

"What the he-AHHHHHHHH"

Suddenly Shinji screamed as though his insides were set on fire. The angel had managed to grab ahold of Unit 01's torso, and just like it had done with Unit 00, it seemed to pass directly through the armor and flesh of Unit 01, starting to fuse with it.

It started from his middle and seared through his lower body, just as it had happened with Rei. His nerves suddenly bulged outward from his body, clearly visible through the fabric of the plug suit, though in his case, it was much worse then the pain Rei had felt. His sync ratio, though considerably lower than it has been, was still high enough to cause him much pain, as he felt the pain of Unit 01. Any moment he felt as though all the blood vessels in his legs would rupture.

"Mi-sa-to!" he managed to say.

"Forcefully cut the synchronization down to fifty percent!" yelled Misato. "And lower the concentration of the LCL fluid."

"Unable to...Unit 01 is not responding to any of our commands."

"Thirty seconds until auxiliary power of Unit 00 stops."

'Now more then ever is the time we could have used the Lance of Longinus,' thought Misato as she glanced up at the commander. 'And we haven't even injured it.' Now looking over at Asuka, who was standing to her right and slightly behind her, she saw that Asuka was still looking up at the screen and frowning slightly.

'No doubt thinking that she would have been better off out there then Kaoru. And I have to agree with her...its almost as though he wasn't honestly trying. But damn it...what are we going to do.'

Shinji was thinking this very thing inside Unit 01. He couldn't create an AT-field using Unit 01, and he wasn't sure what would happen if his own AT-field was eroded, for certainly it still kept him who he was. And all the while Unit 01 was being slowly taken over by the angel.

"Damn it...what do I do-"

Almost in reply, he heard a voice speaking to him.

"Shinji..."

"Mother...no...Ayanami?"

"Yes...right now we are connected through the angel."

"Ayanami, how much time do you have left?"

"...It doesn't matter."

"What! Yes it does! If we work together we can get out of this-"

"Shinji...I'm going to reverse Unit 01 AT-field, and hold the angel inside. That should give you enough time to escape."

"But if you do that-"

"I'll destroy Unit 00, thus destroying the angel in the process."

"Ayanami don't! Just wait right there and I'll-"

Shinji could almost picture Rei shaking her head as she said, "There isn't another way."

"Yes there is!" yelled Shinji as he pounded the controls of Unit 01. "There has to be! Not again! I don't want to lose anyone else!"

If Shinji could have seen Rei smile at his words, maybe it would have comforted him slightly.

"I'm glad I got to know you better...Shinji," said Rei before the connection was severed.

"AYANA-"

Shinji however gasped as it felt as though somebody had just pulled a hand out of his stomach. Still gasping for breath, Shinji looked up then and saw that the angel was slowly being pulled back towards Unit 00.

"Whats happening," asked Misato inside the command center.

"Unknown at this moment. A reverse polarity effect seems to be happening to Unit 00's AT-field. Rei seems to be containing the angel inside Unit 00," said Ritsuko.

"But the amount of stress that that'll put on her-"

Misato however cut herself off as she saw what happened to Unit 00. As the last residue of the angel seemed to disappear inside Unit 00 it suddenly twisted into a grotesque shape. The stomach suddenly surged forward as though it was carrying a child and the core of Unit 00 suddenly seemed to exploded outward, as the body of Unit 00 and the angel mingled. Grey tissue erupted out of the core of the Eva and continued expanding upward into the air, until it formed a giant sphere.

"Core reaching critical levels, unable to contain the angel any longer. AT-field has reached its limit."

Suddenly, the core of Unit 00 seemed to implode upon itself as it slowly sank bank down into the chest of Unit 00.

"Shinji, Kaoru, get out of there!" yelled Misato just as Unit 00 exploded, engulfing everything within a twenty mile radius. A large fireball erupted into the sky, during which a brief glimpse of Rei, as tall Unit 00, could be seen going up into the sky.

Every all but disintegrated except for Unit 01 and 02, who's pilots had just barely gotten away in time. Pieces of Unit 00 lay now scattered in the large crater that it had left, covering part of Tokyo-3. Shinji had turned away during the explosion, and now realized that for some time, he had been crying.

"Damn it!" he yelled as he wiped the tears on the sleeve of his plug suit. "I couldn't do anything! I couldn't even help her!"

Inside the command center, the vibration from the explosion could be felt all the way in the Geofront, as the screen in front of them had turned completely white as the explosion had happened.

Misato continued standing, rooted to the spot where she had given her last order, where finally with a trembling voice she said, "Get a team down there...to inspect everything...and retrieve Rei."

"She couldn't have survived that," said Ritsuko with her hands in her pockets.

Misato rounded on her and would have thoroughly liked to have slapped her for the remark she had made.

Meanwhile, Gendo Ikari sat upon his high seat in the command center. Now leaning towards Fuyutsuki, he said, "Erase all records relating to Rei. We can't have Seele learning about this."

Fuyutsuki frowned at him and whispered back, "You can't honestly expect them to ignore this."

Gendo was silent, brooding over his own thoughts. Looking down at this right hand though, which was concealed by a white glove, he felt a strange sense of foreboding."

"Shinji...Kaoru," Misato now said, still trying to keep her voice at a normal volume. "...Return...you can both go on leave until we need you further."

Shinji, who was still crying silent tears, mumbled his thanks and turned in Unit 01 back to towards the nearest elevator shaft where a team would be waiting to retrieve him. But alongside him went Kaoru, who seemed to be absorbed in his own thoughts. Shinji then thought about all the times he had spent with Rei, which admittedly, were too few.

'Ayanami...' he mumbled dejectedly inside Unit 01 as his eyes slowly changed back to their normal brown color.

He then thought back to the last moments before...well, it was still to near to his heart and he didn't even fully understand what had happened. But he was certain he had seen a giant figure of Rei in the sky for almost an instant, almost transparent it seemed.

'And then,' he thought as his eyes turned towards Unit 02 and Kaoru.

Shinji had thrown up both his, and Unit 01's AT-fields at the last moment before Unit 00 had self destructed, so he hadn't taken the brunt of the damage. But also..from Unit 02 he had felt-

'I felt his AT-field,' thought Shinji. 'It was only there for a moment, but it was stifling, and cold.' And the thing that worried him, was it had been immensely strong to the point of suffocation.

'Kaoru...what exactly are you,? he wondered

* * *

Hours after the battle, and still Asuka hadn't seen him. She wasn't sure why she was looking for him even, and it bothered her greatly. She had wandered the halls after asking where the pilot of Unit 01 was (having already forgotten his name). But Misato had been evasive again, as though she didn't want to say anything. But also because everybody was still feeling the loss of Rei.

'Why is everybody so sad?' thought Asuka as she turned a corner, only to find this hallway also empty. She half expected to find out that they had had a service for her.

'Its not like she was that great of a pilot in the first place, its just that she followed orders without caring what they were. Well whatever, I never liked her much anyway,' thought Asuka.

But now she turned her mind to other matters.

'Why in the hell am I looking for that idiot,' thought Asuka furiously, as she had come to call Shinji, forgetting what his name was.

'I remember what Misato said...and I don't intend to ask him about _that_. But...Ahhhh, why am I being bothered over this. Its stupid! I just met him also...well met isn't right since we haven't talked. Ah thats why...as a fellow pilot I should introduce myself,' thought Asuka stubbornly.

'I'll admit that he did good for a rookie, but I could have done it so much better. Right, maybe I'll even give him some tips. I'm feeling a little generous right now,' she thought with a slight smile. 'But where the hell did he disappear to? Is there someplace that he go's when he's by himself, or maybe he went to his room. Didn't Misato say something about him staying here instead of living in Tokyo-3 somewhere?'

As Asuka thought this, she paused momentarily in mid step and put two and two together, eventually reaching the point of talking to him while enclosed in his room.

"NoNoNoNoNo! Definitely not what I was thinking,' she thought while shaking her head furiously. 'This is simply professional, what I'm doing. I've after all had the most experience dealing with these angels, and this was simply his first battle, so I'm sure that he'd be thankful for some advice.'

Suddenly laughing like a maniac, she rounded another corner and smacked heads with none other than the person she was looking for. They both didn't seem to notice each other though, as both fell down to the floor in a heap across from each other.

"Jeez, watch where you're going," said Asuka as she rubbed her forehead.

"I could say the same thing to you," replied Shinji, surprisingly not recognizing Asuka from the sound of her voice.

"Well sorry for-oh there you are idiot."

Shinji's head jerked upward at the sound of 'idiot' which he hadn't heard spoken with that type of inflection in a while. Looking up, he saw that the person he had knocked heads with was Asuka, and that she was slowly getting to her feet. Several emotions seemed to pass over Shinji's face, but try as he might, he wasn't able to keep them under control. Soon his face had turned paper white.

Asuka looking down at him, frowned and said, "What? Was the battle a bit much for you? Well be thankful, because I, Asuka Langely Soryu have graciously decide to give you some tips."

Holding out her hand now, Asuka waited for him to take it so she could pull him to his feet.

"Like I need help from you," said Shinji spitefully, as he slapped her hand away from him and stood up of his own accord. Asuka, extremely taken aback at his personality which she hadn't expected, was having trouble finding her voice. Nobody had ever said anything like that to her.

"And could you move," said Shinji, "In case you haven't realized, we aren't the only ones in the hallway."

It was then Asuka noticed Ritsuko, who was standing to the left of Shinji and had a frown on her face.

"Wha-Whats your problem! Here I try to talk to you as a fellow pilot and you-"

"Like I care about that," said Shinji as he turned his head away from her, keeping his emotions in check now.

"Idiot. God, I don't even know why I tried. It was apparent from the moment I saw you that you were a complete moron."

Shinji snorted, giving all pretenses that he didn't care what she called him.

"Well don't let me keep you, Mr. High and Mighty," scoffed Asuka. "If you ever get into trouble, I'll just be sure to laugh and then you can remember that you brought it upon yourself."

"I'll try to remember that," Shinji replied, pushing past Asuka now, all the while trying to ignore the fragrance that was emitting of her strawberry colored hair.

Turning towards his retreating back, Asuka was determined to get the last word in.

"Oi, don't just ignore me like that!"

"I'll ignore you anyway I want," replied Shinji, feeling actual anger. God, couldn't Asuka get the hint?

Not used to being ignored this much by somebody, Asuka yelled back, "Baka, Jerk, Moron, I hope you go to hell."

"Theres a good chance of that," said Shinji now, and meaning it. He was even shocked that it had come out of his mouth, but he continued anyway.

"Unlike you, I've killed another human being."

Asuka blinked several times in surprise to this statement, but she nonetheless retorted fiery, "What the hell would you know about me! You don't know a God damn thing about me! So don't go spouting that kind of shit!"

Shinji stood in the hallway for a second, with his back turned to her, until he finally turned his head towards her and said, "No, I don't know about you, nor do I care. We are fellow Evangelion pilots, but I don't even see us as comrades. You're sync ratings can't even come close to matching mine."

Asuka had had quite enough of this brats insensitive talk, and so she strode up to him and drew her hand back, intending to smack him, when he caught it just before she struck him. For a moment, she was surprised at how strong he was, but her surprise gave way to anger.

"Let me go," snarled Asuka directly into Shinji's face.

Shinji stared back into Asuka's blue eyes, all the while glaring at her, but he felt something stir within him.

'What am I doing?' he thought suddenly.

Turning his head away from her, he dropped his gaze to the floor and let the hand that he had become so familiar with, drop out of his grasp. Asuka was rather surprised as she could almost feel the fight evaporate out. Certainly his strength seemed to have left him. Looking back at him now, she was almost curious about what he was thinking about. Taking several steps back now, she continued looking at him with a quizzical expression on her face, when suddenly Shinji turned away from him.

'Tch, fucking jer-'

"Sorry," Shinji mumbled with his back turned to her and his hands deep in his pockets. "But its not smart to directly associate with me, as I'm sure you saw today."

"Whatever," Asuka said with her arms folded in front of her chest now, looking at him with her peripheral vision. "And I don't care about that shit I saw earlier either."

Shinji couldn't tell Asuka how much that meant to him.

"Ritsuko," he suddenly said, "we should get going if you plan to show me what you promised."

"Agreed," said Ritsuko as she hurried past Asuka who had momentarily forgotten about her presence.

Shinji now walked ahead of Ritsuko slightly, as if he was the one leading and she was the one following. Asuka continued watching his retreating back for a few seconds before she took two steps forward, and planted her feet loudly on the ground. Hands on her hips, her hair seemed to crackle with electricity as she yelled down the hallway, "Whats your name idiot!"

Shinji step hitched then as he paused with his foot not firmly planted on the ground. Turning back towards her, he smirked and said, "What? You haven't remembered it yet?"

Asuka's eyebrows twitched slightly as she said, "Moron. If you don't tell me I'm going to come over there and hit you for sure this time. And if you touch me again I'll kick you in the balls. Besides, I've already told you my name..."

Shinji seemed to think about this for a moment before he shrugged and said, "Its Shinji, Shinji Ikari."

"Oh right, now I remember Misato saying that. Shinji...huh? Okay then, I'll give you permission to call me Asuka, while I'll call you Baka Shinji."

Shinji couldn't help but scoff at the name she had given him, identical to the one she had used before they had become close.

"...Okay," said Shinji trying to put on an air of somebody not caring, but he couldn't suppress the smile that had formed at the corners of his mouth. Turning back away from Asuka, Shinji and Ritsuko disappeared around the corner, unable to see the expression that passed over Asuka's face as they rounded the corner.

'God, what the hell was that all about? And why did I asked for his name? Normally I would have kicked him without even saying anything. Maybe I'm getting too soft. ...Shinji...' She whispered this last.

Standing silent in the hallway for a few seconds longer, she turned around, her brightly colored hair swinging behind her and thought, 'I suppose I should fine Misato and head home.'

* * *

"You handled that rather...interestingly," said Ritsuko as they stood in the elevator descending deep into Central Dogma.

"I wasn't sure how it came across. I wanted to be rude, and make her hate me, but I almost feel as though the opposite happened," said Shinji glumly. 'Why did she have to show up then of all times?' he wondered.

"Anyways, you wanted to show me something."

"Yes, I believe that you deserve to know this, just as you deserve to know about Lilith."

"...Does Misato know?"

"She knows about this secret even less then she does about Lilith."

"So...what is it?" asked Shinji.

Ritsuko stood silent as though she was pondering something, until she finally said, "Artificial Human Evolution."


	24. Revelations

**Just gonna say now, that Shinji and Asuka's relationship gets a lot worse before it gets better, as is starting to show in this chapter. I know that after them getting so close, and understanding each other, there's the giant, "well this sucks," feeling that everyones gonna get as this story starts to come to a close. This has been my intention since starting this story, that Shinji and Asuka would finally start to accept the feelings they have for each other...and then in a moments notice lose it.**

* * *

Shinji and Ritsuko continued descending into Central Dogma, having left Asuka in the upper branches of Nerv. Shinji had his hands dug into his pockets, and for some reason, felt rather awkward right now. The last time him and Ritsuko had really talked, besides the conversation that led them here, Shinji had been rather harsh with her, and he felt a little ashamed of himself looking back on it. But he was right; nobody could understand how he had felt, as he feels now when he looks at Asuka and the confusion that-

"Shinji, you told me earlier that you had wanted to know more about Rei...correct?"

"Wha...Oh...yeah," said Shinji distractedly as he pulled his mind away from other matters. "I do...or did I suppose, since that is no longer possible, and I feel like I'll forever regret it."

Ritsuko was silent in response to his statement.

"So I have to assume that this is something relating to that, but as for what it is...I have no idea," said Shinji as he finished.

Ritsuko paused for a second before she said, "This is something which I believe you need to see, as I believed you needed to see Lilith, and if I am going against your fathers wishes...then so be it."

Shinji was rather taken aback at how bitter her voice sounded, and he noticed that she hadn't used the title 'commander,' but instead just said, 'your father.'

"...You said before about Artificial Human Evolution...what is that?"

"Just as it sounds: the creation of a human being based on artificial means inside of a closed evolutionary environment."

"...Is that even possible?" asked Shinji with surprise.

"On a theoretical base it is, since the compounds that make up every human being are easily acquirable and accessible in most lab scenarios. The soul is the problem. A soul has no substance, science cannot be applied to it, but they are regarded as a necessary material in defining a human. That was the problem...but we found a way around that. Shinji, have you heard of Gehirn?"

Shinji paused here and searched his brain. Admittedly, he had been involved with so many things relating to his fathers work that things were starting to become jumbled in his mind.

"No...I haven't," he eventually said.

"Thats not surprising," replied Ritsuko. "Gehirn...you see, is something like the forefather of Nerv. Your mother and father, Asuka's mother, and my own mother were all personal that worked within Gehirn."

"...I didn't know that your mother worked with Nerv." said Shinji in surprise.

"Yes," said Ritsuko in a voice that made it clear that she wasn't keen on the subject. "Gehirn was originally involved with the creation of the first Evangelion until it was transformed into Nerv. During that time, another project was being conducted on the study of human evolution, and even more so, to create an artificial human, and have them evolve as a normal human."

Suddenly the elevator came to a jolting halt and Ritsuko stepped out first, followed by a rather slow Shinji. But this place...it looked familiar to him.

"This is...the Evangelion graveyard?" he asked as he looked across the wide chamber where giant pits opened up in the floor, revealing the decayed remnants of failed Eva Units.

"Right. Gehirn was the first that attempted to create the first true Evangelion. These are of course the failed attempts at them," she said while gesturing at the giant pits around them.

"So how come we're back down here then?" asked Shinji.

"The place I am taking you to is on the same floor."

Ritsuko suddenly turned towards her right and started walking along a narrow walkway that hugged the right side of the wall. As Shinji stepped onto the walkway himself, he couldn't help but shudder as he looked at all the failed attempts at the Eva's around him. It was truly an example of the selfishness of humanity.

As they continued walking on the right side of the graveyard, Shinji noticed a little further ahead of them what seemed to be a side passage forking off to the right. Assuming that this is where they were going, his assumption was confirmed as Ritsuko turned into the dark passage, disappearing from his sight momentarily. Picking up his pace a little until he was directly in front of where she had disappeared, he looked down a long corridor with fluorescent lights that pocketed the ceiling, but seemed to be failing. Taking a few hesitant steps then, he slowly walked into the corridor.

After some time had passed however, the corridor became almost completely black, and all Shinji could see was the occasionally wisp of Ritsuko's lab coat in front of him, as though egging him on. Now though, as he looked far ahead of him, he could see a blinding light at the end of the passage.

"What is this exactly...Ritsuko?"

Silence greeted his words for a second before Ritsuko said, "The birthplace of Ayanami Rei.

Shinji stumbled over his own feet at her words.

"The birthplace of...what, excuse me!"

"You'll understand in a minute," said Ritsuko as she stepped into the blinding light and disappeared for a moment.

Frowning slightly, Shinji hurriedly jogged towards the end of the passageway and entered the blinding light himself.

He entered a large room, with overhead lights that looked as though they belonged in the ER of a hospital. The walls were a dull grey color, while what appeared to be strange formulas and algorithms littered the floor and walls. Though on the far side of the room opposite of where he stood, he saw coherent writing on the walls.

'Artificial Evolutionary Laboratory,' he mouthed. 'But this room...it looks like-'

"As you have no doubt guessed by now," said Ritsuko, "this is an accurate replica of Rei's room...or I should say, that the apartment she lives in is a replica of this room. This is where she was born."

Shinji then looked towards the cold hard bed against the far left wall and the table that sat next to it, filled with an assortment of pill and medicine bottles. Just like in her own apartment, the bed here looked as though it had never been slept it.

"This...what is this? You say this is where Ayanami was born...but I don't-"

"You don't understand yet?"

"I don't get what there _is_ to understand. You've shown me a room here that looks as though it belongs in some horror film, and you say that Rei was born here. Why? Why not a real hospital? Who are her parents anyway? I never really thought to ask...and now..."

"You don't understand yet...even though I've shown you these things?" asked Ritsuko.

Shinji hesitated with the question that had been bothering him for a long time now.

"Who is...Ayanami?" he finally asked.

"She is...the byproduct of a scientific endeavor to reproduce a human being."

"But I don't quite understand what you mean by that."

"No, you don't? Maybe not, but there is something else that I want to show you, and things that still need to be explained to you."

"What if...I don't want to know."

"That is your decision Shinji. We can leave now and forget that we ever had this conversation, or were ever here for that matter. But you are now rooted so far in with Nerv that this is something that should not be kept from you...no matter your age."

"But why can't you just tell me?"

"Because it wont be enough. You have to see this to understand everything. I've already shown you Lilith, and that is still a part of this, and you yourself are wrapped up in all this. You can take it or leave it, and you may be better off without knowing this long kept secret, but whatever you decide to do with this information is up to you."

Shinji continued looking at Ritsuko for a while before he looked around the emotionless room again.

"...I'll see everything..." he said while looking down at his own feet.

Nodding her head slightly, Ritsuko then turned to a side door that Shinji had not noticed before. Standing in front of it, Ritsuko reached into her lab coat pocket and brought out her Nerv authorization card and swiped it through the scanner that was placed next to the door. After that, she punched in the four code combo releasing the lock on the door so that it slid open to admit her.

"This has the highest level of clearance just as Lilith's chamber does. Only myself, your father, and the vice commander are allowed in here," Ritsuko said.

Shinji could only imagine the backlash that Ritsuko would receive if the afore mentioned learned of this.

Following her lead, he stepped into another room that from the outset, felt much more open and airy than the previous room did, but what was it...he felt something eerie in this new room. All around him was darkness, even worse than the corridor before. However he found that there seemed to be some sort of walkway that was rather large and had a railing on each side, so as to that, he was rather comforted. From all around him though, he could smell a very ironlike smell. Almost as though he was surrounded by LCL fluid.

"While the previous room is where Rei was born...this is where she has spent much of her life. The apartment is simply something as a pretense, so that nobody will suspect anything happening below the surface."

Suddenly from in front of Shinji, a bright orange light glowed outwards, revealing something in the middle of the room. As Shinji saw that Ritsuko had moved towards this object, he himself did likewise.

In the middle of the room was a glass cylinder, big enough to fit a human and filled with an orange like liquid. The floor of this room seemed to be made out of some black marble like material. As Shinji stood in front of the glass cylinder which looked like something only found in science labs, he looked above him and had to contain his surprise as above him, many crisscrossing tubes intersected before they finally connected with the glass cylinder resting on the floor.

"Is that...LCL fluid?" he asked.

"Yes...the LCL fluid that nurtures Rei."

"Nurtures...then you mean Ayanami...used to be inside that thing?"

"Yes," she said after a short pause. "...Shinji, I told you before that the components that make up a human body are easily accessible for scientists like myself. However, it is something known only within Nerv and a rare select few such as myself, your father and deceased mother, that humans were created from the combined efforts of Adam and Lilith. Yet, it is said that humans are the failure of the black moon...Lilith. For humans were formed from LCL fluid, because every material, every compound, every definable substance can be broken down into LCL fluid, whether it be a single molecule of it."

"I know that already," said Shinji, "but I don't remember where I heard it. But what does this have to do with Ayanami. If all humans are formed from LCL fluid, that she's no different then anybody else."

"But she is. The first humans were created by Adam and Lilith, but afterwards we created our own offspring. Rei was not 'born' in the usual sense of the word. She was created in a laboratory, that which we saw in the previous room."

Silence greeted as Ritsuko ended her sentence, however, she wasn't done yet.

"Rei was created from Lilith, using the LCL fluid that leaked from Lilith's abdomen. Your father was in charge of all this, and though Gehirn had been transformed into Nerv, shortly after your mothers death, and directly after my own mothers death, he continued working on it in secret. Artificial Human Evolution...the outcome was Rei, created by humans, even though she is closer to an angel, for she has her own AT-field such as yourself. In a way, she is the embodiment of Lilith."

"Ayanami is...like me? Part angel?" whispered Shinji.

"She is closer to an angel than you are. You are a human, though with angel attributes. She was created from Lilith."

Shinji stared at the glass cylinder filled with LCL fluid in the middle of the room trying to imagine Rei floating seamlessly in the middle of it.

"I'm surprised that you took this so well," said Ritsuko after a few seconds.

Frowning slightly, Shinji said while still staring back at the glass filled with LCL fluid, "I had known she was different, but I didn't know how much. But...I knew that she was like me in a way."

"Do you hate her for that?"

"No, of course not," said Shinji shaking his head. "But my father...he used her, even though she believed in him."

"Your father used Rei to replace your mother," said Ritsuko a tad bit bitterly.

Shinji heard the tone in her voice and was rather surprised at it. Turning towards Ritsuko, he said, "Do you hate Ayanami?"

"Do I hate her...yes, I suppose that may be the case. I told you earlier that my mother worked for Gehirn before her death, which afterwards became Nerv. The computers here were designed by her, the Magi they are known as, and I say them, because there are three of them. Melchior, Balthasar, and Casper, each of them were developed based off of certain traits that my mother possessed. They are really the driving point behind Nerv, and if not for them, we would have lost against the angels long ago. However...my mother loved your father, even though he gave no love for her in return, having it all devoted to your mother, and then to Rei."

"...So you hate Ayanami because of that?"

"No...I hate her for a different reason," whispered Ritsuko.

Suddenly, from an inside pocket of her lab coat, she pressed a button on an LCD type pad. From the outside walls, which had looked black this entire time, orange light exploded outward, lighting the rest of the room up. All along the walls, wrapping around the entire room until it stopped at the walkway, were the same glass cylinders with LCL fluid in them. However in the cylinders were-

"Ayanami..." gasped Shinji as he took a step back, finally startled.

"Correct," said Ritsuko.

Floating inside of the many glass cylinders were identical replicas of Ayanami Rei completely naked. However, something was off about them. Their heads moved from side to side without any perceivable form of thought, while their arms and legs did likewise.

"This is the core of the dummy plug system, which you have witnessed first hand while battling Unit 03. This is the dummy plug manufacturing facilities."

"Then...Ayanami is..."

"The prototype of the dummy plug you could say. But the Rei you know is the second to be created. The first died along with my mother."

"But why...why did my father do this? You said it was to replace my mother but-"

"Shinji, your father created Rei as replacement for your mother, but in truth, she is a clone of your mother created artificially."

This was all to much for Shinji to take in, but as he took another step back, the Rei's floating in the LCL fluid along the walls turned there heads towards him and seemed to looked straight through him.

"My mother...no...that can't be..."

"It is...your father couldn't bear the death of your mother and created a clone of her, a clone which was created from Lilith, and in turn developed into the dummy plug. The Rei's you see along the wall have no soul, they simply act as programmed. Such is the way the dummy plug works, and truthfully, it is less cruel then having children pilot. But the Rei that you knew did have a soul...the soul of Lilith, the second angel. It is impossible to create a soul, so the only thing we could do was contain it inside a human form. That is who Rei is...and yet I was a fool just like my mother, because I sought your fathers love just as she did, and got nothing but spite and hatred."

Shinji opened his eyes wide at that. Out of everything that he had heard today, this was the most ridiculous thing.

"Shinji," said Ritsuko suddenly turning towards him with her right hand in a pocket of her lab coat. "You told me earlier that I couldn't understand how you felt; that I didn't know what love felt like. That is not true, because I loved your father. But he didn't care for me, and only looked at Rei, the clone of your mother. And so I hated her, and was even glad when I knew that she had died. But that doesn't matter, because she can come back, in fact has probably already come back. Your father was here earlier, preparing another...the third now. Though she will have no memories of the one before her."

"Ritsuko...what are you-"

"Rei is back, probably being prepared right now," said Ritsuko bitterly. "And I've helped with the development of the dummy plugs myself, since my mother also had a part to play. But I don't care anymore! I hate the mere sight of that being, ever since she was only five years old! So I don't care, even if I'm labeled a traitor and killed, I'll erase the existence of such an unnatural thing!"

From her inside pocket, she pressed another button on the LCD screen, and all around them, the LCL fluid suddenly turned a bright red.

"What are you-" yelled Shinji as he looked around, but next second froze as he saw the bodies in the LCL fluid suddenly break apart.

Flesh seemed to fall directly off the bones, while limbs and torsos were separated from the main parts of the body. Internal organs suddenly floated out from inside the body, creating an even darker color than before. Eventually though, the flesh and tissue dissolved into the LCL fluid, as though it had never existed. All around Shinji, now stood empty containers of nothing but LCL fluid.

"You...you..." stammered Shinji as he tried to come to terms with what Ritsuko had just done.

"The bodies were of course created from LCL fluid," said Ritsuko with a slight laugh, "so its only natural that they would return to the stuff they were created out of."

"But they were still Ayanami Rei!" yelled Shinji as he felt the anger burn inside him.

"But can she be considered a human? Certainly what I just destroyed cannot be considered human. They were lifeless dolls."

"But they were still her!"

Shaking her head, Ritsuko said, "You don't understand, you're too young."

"Misato wouldn't have agreed with this!"

"No, she wouldn't have, which is why I made sure she did not suspect anything. But I wanted you to see this before I destroyed it, because I felt that you could at least understand, since she was like you. But maybe I was mistaken. Humans should not tamper with such things."

"Is that why you wanted to show me this? Because of who I am! Because of what I am!"

"Shinji, do you know why humans wanted to create the Evangelions?" asked Ritsuko suddenly.

"Of course! It was to combat the angel-"

"No, that was not it," said Ritsuko. "Humans encountered the angel Adam, and even though the contact experiment failed, they still wanted its power, because they saw it as something equivalent to God. So they created the Evangelions to contend with that power, but in truth it is just a child's imitation. Humans must always have a higher power that they can believe in; it gives them hope for a better future. The Evangelions, and in particular Unit 01 is the closest thing to that desire. Unit 01 is both angel and human: human for the soul inside of it, and angel for the S2 engine that it swallowed. And then what of its pilot? You could say that you are the perfection that was impossible to achieve with Rei, because you have a human soul, yet you are also part angel. Human Instrumentality...you are the closest being able to achieve that."

"And why is that!" yelled Shinji suddenly. "Thats what I want to know! I don't care about all your theories! I want to know who I am!"

Ritsuko looked at him rather mournfully for a second before she said, "As to that...I don't know. In truth, I have looked into as much as I could for hope of telling you, but almost all traces of your past have been erased, which isn't terribly unusual, since both yours, Rei's, and the fourths have been erased."

"But not Asuka's!"

"No, though it is kept under strict security because she is an Evangelion pilot."

Shinji looked at her shrewdly for a minute before he said, "Why did you bother showing me this?"

"Because deep down, I wanted you to kill me. I thought that you're anger would take over."

Shinji was startled at the expression Ritsuko showed on her face. It was that of somebody who has no hope left.

"I already promised I wouldn't kill another human being," said Shinji.

"Do you think you can keep that promise for long?"

"Of course! I-"

"Shinji...I know that ever since the battle with the angel Zeruel, you have been exhibiting angel powers more often. That blood soaked shirt you came back with, you had been shot in your shoulder, but didn't show any trace of a wound, not even a scar."

"Thats-" tried Shinji.

"And with Asuka no longer in your life, it seems that you've been changing even faster."

Her words seemed to strike a nerve in Shinji, because next second he was directly in front of her, with his eyes flashing scarlet and yelling, "Don't talk as if you know me! For all your scientific knowledge you don't know the first part about human emotions! You say you loved my father, yet you don't know the first part about love! Don't psycho analyze me as if you-"

"Shinji...you said you 'felt' before, meaning the past tense," said Ritsuko curtly. "What has happened in these past days since Asuka lost her memories of you? Did you also-"

"Don't say anything!" yelled Shinji, spittle flying from his mouth. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Ritsuko frowned at Shinji before saying, "No, you're right, I won't understand how you feel...or felt whichever you prefer, because I'm not you. But even so-"

"Stop it Ritsuko," replied Shinji while looking the other way.

"The fact that the love you once felt for Asuka is disappearing, doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Shinji felt shell shocked at her words. He had realized it himself, but that didn't mean he had to accept it for what it was.

"I don't know what you're talking-" but Shinji voice broke before he could finish his sentence. Though Ritsuko seemed to understand what he was saying.

"No, you do, because you understand it better than I could. What I want to know is...why? You're memories should still be intact, if what I heard from Misato is correct. So then why are you feelings disappearing?"

"I don't-" started Shinji, but no, that wasn't right. He did know, because as Ritsuko had said, he was himself. He had just never wanted to accept it, because in a way, it was even worse than not having the memories. Having the memories only made it more painful to bear, because he had to look at her every day and know that, while he could remember everything, he didn't feel anything from those times. They were just like an empty basin of water.

"Its..." he tried again. "Its difficult to describe. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but eventually it felt like I was trying to keep water in my cupped hands, while it constantly fell between my fingers. You said before, that after the battle with the angel Zeruel, that my angel self was starting to become more dominant over my human self. I had noticed it before, and especially after I realized that I can regenerate damaged tissue. But Asuka was like...something to hold that part of myself back, a dam I suppose. When I was with her, I was happy. Even now, its only something that I can barely recall, but I know that I was happiest when I was with her, and I forgot my own questions about who I was, and what I was."

"But stuff leaked through nonetheless, and during that day that...it happened, I had shown her my AT-field again without thinking about it. I don't even know what I was thinking. I constantly tried to steer her clear of everything related to Nerv, or the Evangelions, but that would mean distancing myself from her. I found I couldn't do that...because she meant too much to me. I guess it was...our love that kept my angel self at bay, and I say 'our' because I know she felt the same, even if she never told me. Now though...everything is just starting to disappear, as my human half starts to diminish. I keep thinking that one of these days, I'll wake up to find that my eyes just permanently stay red."

After Shinji finally finished his last sentence, both him and Ritsuko stared at the cylinder in the middle of the room for a minute.

"You said that Ayanami is back?" asked Shinji, not wanting to have to say anymore about his diminishing feelings.

"Back? I suppose that would be the best way to describe it, even though she really never left," said Ritsuko. "What do you plan to do though? Are you going to confront her?"

"I...don't know," said Shinji. "If what you said is true, and that she doesn't remember who I am, than isn't it all together pointless?"

"I told you that you could do whatever you wanted with the information I had to show you today. You can talk to her, or tell your father about this even."

"Wont that...harm you though?" asked Shinji.

"Most likely yes. I'll be thrown in confinement until the Human Instrumentality is completed."

"I wouldn't do that, nor would I have killed you, even if you have begged."

Ritsuko looked at Shinji rather curiously then, and seemed to smile slightly.

"You may say that you're human half is being conquered by the angel half, but I think that at your core, you won't change, if you can still show compassion after what I've done here."

"I don't like it, but nor will I tell anybody about it. I think that you trusted me enough to show me this, so that at least, I will respect."

"Shinji, you understand what your father is trying to do correct? About the Human Instrumentality project?"

"Sorta...I understand that he wants to be rejoined with my mother, and for that he'll turn all of humanity into LCL fluid because of that."

"That is a part of it, but he also wants humans to understand each other, as difficult as that is for you to believe."

"He should have started by trying to understand me... And I don't think that having everyone's AT-field dissolve is the right thing. The AT-field is what makes people unique."

"He loves you...in his own way, I think."

Shinji wasn't sure how he should respond to her statement, so he just kept his silence.

"Seele has a goal also though, and that is to become the gods of the new world, and fashion everything as they see fit. The fourth child is somebody who will most likely further their goals."

"Ritsuko...who do you think Kaoru is?"

"Who he is...I'd imagine you have a better guess at that then I do."

"I don't...he's like me and Ayanami, he has an AT-field, more powerful than my own."

Ritsuko's eyes widened at that.

"Then he is possibly the last angel," she said.

"I thought as much," mumbled Shinji. "But I don't know if I can beat him."

Clapping him slightly on the shoulder, Ritsuko said, "Remember that everybody is standing behind you, even if you can't see them. We may have doubted you before, but we believe in you now."

"Thanks...Ritsuko," said Shinji, meaning it greatly.

"I have something else that I need to tell you, and I don't understand it completely, but its something that your father asked me a while ago."

"Why, what is it?"

"During your week long stay at Nerv, before you and Asuka had your brief vacation time, your father asked me to get a sample of your DNA. I extracted it easily and gave it to him, but I'm not sure what happened after that. That strand of your DNA was of course implanted with an angels, but I have no idea what he plans to do with it."

Shinji pondered this for a moment, but no matter what he thought, he couldn't think of what his father would use his DNA for.

"We should probably head back to the surface," said Ritsuko suddenly. "We've been down here for almost an hour now."

"I suppose," said Shinji as he took another look at the empty glass cases filled with LCL fluid.

Turning around, him and Ritsuko walked back across the walkway and into the room where Rei was born in. Taking another look around, he realized just how similar it was to her room at her apartment. This, more than anything solidified what Ritsuko had told him. But oddly enough, the thing about his mother didn't disturb him as much. It was more the fact that his father had done this, which angered him even more. Rei was her own self, even if she was a copy based off of another human being. It hadn't been her decision after all. And then there was the soul of Lilith, which Rei supposedly kept. Well, that could explain somewhat of her lack of emotions he supposed. But why...it was almost as though he felt that wasn't quite the case.

"Lilith," he mumbled, feeling the word slide of his tongue.

"Hmmm? Did you say something Shinji?" asked Ritsuko.

"No, never mind," said Shinji hurriedly, before following her back down the long corridor and out into the Evangelion graveyard. However, as he stood before the elevator that would take him up into the higher levels of Nerv, he looked across the graveyard and in the direction where he knew Lilith rested.

Almost as he looked directly across the many pocketed pits, he thought he heard a voice calling to him, as though beckoning him to come.

'No...I must be hallucinating,' thought Shinji. For a moment, he thought he recognized the sound of the voice, but that wasn't possible.

Shaking off his worry, he walked into the elevator alongside Ritsuko, and waited in silence as the elevator shook and rattled, bringing them back into the heart of Nerv.

* * *

Misato was having difficulties already with Asuka...and they had just arrived home. First Asuka started a rant about Shinji, (or as she called him 'that idiot') complaining how rude he was and the like. Second, she had asked Misato why she seemed to be on such good terms with Shinji, and why it sounded as though they had known each other for a while. Misato had to unfortunately relent and tell another lie to Asuka, making up stories about how she visited Shinji sometimes while the science department was running tests on him. So at least in part, this accounted for times she hadn't been home, which according to Asuka's memory, were quite often. Asuka then continued on, asking about her own Eva, Unit 02, wondering when she'd be able to pilot again and when the next synchronization test would be. Misato, hadn't known herself, leaving most of the decision making up to Ritsuko, and just nodded her head a bunch. Currently though, Asuka seemed to be back on the subject of Shinji.

"And that idiot, after I kindly asked if he needed any pointers, he completely brushed me off, saying that I wasn't even close to his sync rating."

"Well thats just the way he is," said Misato idly, hardly even paying attention to the conversation anymore, being already into her fifth beer.

"Why is that?" asked Asuka.

"Why's what?"

"What I just said! Why is that moron like that?"

Misato seemed to drink a larger gulp of the beer than she had intended, and started choking on it. Asuka meanwhile, narrowed her eyes slightly, clearing wondering about this abrupt shift in her attitude.

Getting herself under control though, Misato said after a few seconds of thought, "I suppose part of it is because of his father."

"The commander? It seemed like they didn't really get along very well."

"Thats putting it mildly," said Misato. "Shinji hates his father."

"Why?"

"Because he abandoned him when he was only a kid," said Misato, getting rather carried away.

"He did?" asked Asuka rather surprised, not expecting this sort of reply.

"Yeah, sorta the same as your own father," said Misato, any clear sign of a thought process already slipping. However, this seemed to shut Asuka's mouth almost instantly. Misato noticed this though, and looked at Asuka who was trembling ever so slightly now. Putting down her can of beer, she said, "Sorry...I shouldn't have said that."

"Its fine," said Asuka standing up so abruptly that the kitchen chair she was sitting in fell over.

"Asuka wait I-"

However, Asuka had already retreated to her room and closed the door with a snap.

'Damn it,' thought Misato as she put the can of beer down on the table. Covering her head with her hands, she thought, 'I can't do this by myself. And dinner is rather...' She didn't even know what to do as far as that went. It seemed that Asuka's pickiness when it came to food had not subsided in the least.

'What am I going to do?' she wondered.

Asuka was wondering that very same thing in her room which she had vacated to. Misato's words had stung her greatly, because she didn't want to have to think about...that person. And yet she recalled Misato mentioning...that person before, when she had been listening at the door at the Nerv hospital ward. Well, maybe she'd ask her about it later. But what Misato had said about that idiot and his father had surprised her, because she had immediately thought about her own situation with...somebody who she wished she'd never have to meet again. So in a way, they were alike, as odd as that sounded to her. But they were so different at the same time, excluding the whole angel thing, which she found she didn't give two shits about.

"Ahhhh, why am I thinking about this so much," she mumbled, as she pressed her face closer to the pillow. "Its not like I care about that idiot either way."

'Then why did you seek him out in the first place?' asked a small voice in her head.

'Purely professional,' was her harsh reply. 'Thats it!'

'Then what of the headaches?'

'Big deal! People get headaches all the time.'

'But as often as this?'

'Shut up! I don't want to hear any of this.'

Pushing herself off her pillow, she walked quickly to her door and threw it opened, only to have it bounce back and almost smack against her right shoulder.

"Misato I'm taking a shower!" she barked. However, Misato seemed not to realize that she was yelling at her, since she was talking on the phone.

'Probably to Ritsuko or whoever that guys name was that she dated in college,' thought Asuka. The only reason that Asuka bothered telling her this, was because Misato had walked into the bathroom several times while Asuka had been taking a shower. This, was a memory that was very clear to her.

'Just as long as she doesn't bother me,' thought Asuka, as she walked into the bathroom, closing the sliding door as she went.

"I suppose that I've gotten used to bedrooms without locks on them, but bathrooms without them? Is there no sense of privacy among Japanese people?" she mumbled as she closed the door, wishing certainly not for the last that a lock could be installed on the door.

Walking across the marmoleum floor, she pulled off the clothes she had been wearing and tossed them all in a pile, knowing that she'd have to wash them later.

Stepping into the shower, she closed the door made of glass and turned the shower head on, before stepping out of the spray of water, letting it heat up a little before she allowed it to cleanse her body. Pressing her back against the cold green tile of the shower, she drew her right leg up, tilting her knee down slightly while her toes pressed against the plastic bottom of the shower; her left leg, she put most of her body weight down on.

Feeling the mist of water hit her body, she tilted her head up to look at the shower head, and without really looking at it thought, 'So he doesn't get along with his father either, huh?'

Now frowning slightly, she reached her hand out to test the temperature of the water. Deeming it warm enough, she submerged her hair in it, enjoying the feel of the water as it flowed through her hair and traveled down her back. Opening her eyes now, which she had closed when she stepped into the water, she muttered, "I shouldn't worry about it. We're fellow pilots and nothing else..."

After half an hour later, and with the hot water tank depleted, Asuka finally stepped out of the shower, and reached for a towel hanging on the wall next to the shower. Wrapping one towel around her body, and running another through her hair, she walked to the sliding door of the bathroom, and slid it open.

"Hey Misato's whats for dinner?" she asked without looking at the kitchen.

Misato, who was still sitting at the table and now had a stack of empty beer cans in front of her, mumbled something unintelligible and pointed towards the kitchen.

As Asuka then turned towards the kitchen, she just noticed the aromas smell of something coming from the kitchen.

'What is that?' she wondered as she craned her neck further to peer into the kitchen, but only too quickly all the color left her face, leaving it pasty white, and then moments later, turned the color of maroon.

"Hey Misato, where did the egg beater go?" asked Shinji as he turned towards the corpse that was occupying the table. Unfortunately for him, that also meant that he turned towards Asuka, who of course had just stepped out of the shower...in nothing but a towel.

One-second lasted an eternity as the two of them stared back at each other. Shinji, who of course had expected this sooner or later, was still not prepared for it in anyway. Asuka was standing in the opening of the bathroom, her hair still dripping wet from her shower. Misato meanwhile, sat at the kitchen table, completely oblivious to the surprise of the two teenagers seeing each other in such strange circumstances.

Shinji, not particularly happy about the current situation, opened his mouth to make a crude remark about Asuka's attire, desiring to increase the distance between them. However, he got no further than opening his mouth when Asuka shrieked at him...

"AHHHHH! BAKA! ECCHI! HENTAI! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Her shriek seemed to wake Misato up though, because she suddenly jolted upwards, sloshing the rest of her beer across the kitchen table.

"Wasrong?" she slurred heavily.

Asuka in response, pointed at Shinji with a wavering finger and shouted, "WHY THE HELL IS HE IN THE HOUSE!"

"Who's he?" asked Misato, still completely out of it.

Sighing slightly, Shinji shifted his gaze away from Asuka and turned to Misato.

"She means me Misato."

"Wha? Oh...right...I called you over didn't I?"

Shinji glared at Misato, wishing that she would hurry up and pass out before she said something detrimental.

"Yes...you did," said Shinji his voice laced with annoyance. 'And I wish I hadn't listened to you,' he thought silently in his head.

"Ah...thats right. I wanted you to cook...so whats the problem?"

"WHATS THE PROBLEM!" yelled Asuka. "NO WAY AM I LETTING THIS GUY STAY IN THE HOUSE!"

"Well if she doesn't want me here, than I suppose I can just leave," said Shinji making it quite clear that he was loathing just standing there.

Walking away from the stove which was still on and cooking eggs, he passed by Misato who frowned at his reluctance to stay. Downing the rest of her beer, she said now with some control over her voice, "Shinji...stay, at least for a little while since you're here. Even if you don't want to cook."

Shinji stopped just as he was about to pass Asuka and turned around to look at Misato who was wearing a very passive look on her face. Glancing slightly to his right, he saw that Asuka was mere seconds away from decking him in the face. Turning back towards Misato, he said while grumbling slightly, "Fine...I'll cook. But afterwards I'm leaving...and this better not happen again Misato."

"You have my word," muttered Misato, now going back into the coma that she had woken up from. Asuka however, was not about to let this happen, and retorted angrily, "Misato, are you so drunk that you're gonna let this idiot cook here!"

"Like I want to in the first place," muttered Shinji, his own anger starting to bubble up.

"As if anything you cook could ever satisfy me," retorted Asuka.

"Fine then, don't eat it," said Shinji. "Its a waist of ingredients anyway feeding your vulgar mouth."

"My vulgar...What!"

Asuka quickly strode over to Shinji with the towel still tightly wrapped around her body, and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.

"My vulgar mouth! You're the one that acted like an ass-hole after I tried being nice."

"Do I look like I care?" asked Shinji with a raised eyebrow.

Asuka seemed to shake with anger and suddenly drew her hand back.

"You fucking ass-"

"I don't care if you two continue like this into the night," said Misato, speaking up from where she sat at the table. "But do it after I at least have some food."

Shinji sneered slightly in response to Misato's comment, and took a step away from Asuka.

"Eat it or don't; I couldn't care less either way."

Turning back towards the stove, he grumbled as he turned the dials of the all too familiar stove. Asuka continued staring at his back though, still shaking with rage over the person that confused her so greatly right now. It only made it worse that he had gotten a glimpse of her without any sort of guard up.

Snarling at his back now, she turned around and stomped down the hallway to her door, before throwing it open and kicking it close with a loud 'bang.' Shinji, on the other hand, seemed to release a long held breath the minute her rage couldn't be felt vibrating behind him.

"You handled that interestingly," mumbled Misato with her head resting on the table.

Shinji was silent as he turned and looked down the hallway towards the door Asuka had disappeared through, and his own room, now used as storage.

"And you don't agree with how I'm handling this?" whispered Shinji, careful to be quiet incase Asuka was trying to listen to any conversation him and Misato may have.

"No, I don't," said Misato after a moments pause, "but of course you already knew that."

"And yet you asked me to come here immediately, making me worry that something was wrong. Though of course I learned that all you wanted was for me to cook," said Shinji somewhat bitterly.

Shrugging, Misato reached for another beer and said, "As I said before, you're here, so you may as well make the best of it."

'Or the worst,' thought Shinji as he turned back to the stove.

Even though he hadn't cooked a meal for himself in almost a week, he still found that his cooking skills had not deteriorated in the least. Knowing that Asuka wouldn't eat anything other than German food, Shinji had a major problem, because he didn't have any ingredients that he could make German food with. In the end, he settled on something simple: that being white rice with fried eggs mixed with soy sauce. Luckily for him, these simple few things even Misato seemed to carry. The majority of her grocery supplies seemed to have dwindled down to instant meals, bags of chips, and many pop cans. Even so though, he thought that it had turned out well enough.

Placing two plates on the kitchen counter, Shinji walked over to Misato and nudged her gently, as she had fallen asleep at the table waiting for him to finish.

"Hey, Misato. Its finished..." he said.

Misato stirred slightly and mumbled, "Huh...whats finished?"

"The dinner that you called me over to make," retorted Shinji, trying to keep the annoyance in his voice to a bear minimum.

"Oh right...what did you make?" asked Misato.

"Well, you don't have much in the way of ingredients, so its fairly simple. I've no idea what...Asuka will think of it though, since its not German food."

Misato snorted. She had eaten German food more often in the past few months than any other nationalities food. It was the last thing she wanted to eat right now.

"What? Did you want German food?" asked Shinji in response to Misato's snort.

"...I'm just surprised you made something that _wasn't _German food," sighed Misato.

Shinji frowned slightly, but remained silent. True, he normally wouldn't have made anything else, but he himself had gotten so used to German food that he found himself wishing he knew a restaurant in Tokyo-3 that he could go to.

"What is it anyway?" asked Misato as she leaned around Shinji and looked at the kitchen counters where two plates rested on them.

"Fried rice with fried egg and some soy sauce mixed in. I could have added some more seasonings, but I couldn't seem to find any."

Misato hesitated briefly, before she whispered, "I threw them all out after you left. I never figured you'd be cooking here again."

"Neither did I," said Shinji, his displeasure over this entire thing only too apparent.

"Well, whatever it matters...thanks."

"...Don't worry about it..."

"But you only made two plates. Unless you were serious about not making any for Asuka."

"...If she wants it, she can have it. I made it incase she changes her mind. But I'm not really hungry."

Misato watched him out of the corner of her eye before she mumbled almost inaudibly, "You can act the way you are, and make it seemed like you don't care...but you do still care about Asuka, Shinji."

Shinji chose not to reply to her statement, his conversation with Ritsuko still too near to his heart.

"You should probably eat it, since it gets cold quickly," said Shinji instead as he turned away.

"Are you...leaving now?" asked Misato.

"Yeah. I did what you wanted me to, so I have no reason to stay here any longer."

"But Shin-"

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "It isn't right for me to be here, and I shouldn't have even come here in the first place."

Misato bit down on her lips, trying to think of a reason to keep Shinji here longer. In truth, she hoped that by having Shinji here, Asuka might warm up to him, if just a little, and remember some of her lost memories. Though after seeing the brief shouting match between them just a little while ago, she wasn't too reassured.

"I know but...how are things fairing at Nerv?" asked Misato.

"Well enough," said Shinji evasively. Under no circumstances did he plan on telling Misato about his conversation with Ritsuko and everything he now knew about Rei.

"I need to get going," said Shinji suddenly as though it closed the subject.

"O...kay..." mumbled Misato as Shinji started walking towards the apartment's front door. Pausing momentarily at the door though, he looked behind him and in the direction of the door that Asuka was sure to be behind. Very briefly, his face scrunched up as though some internal struggle raged through him. But next moment it seemed to pass, and he slipped his shoes on, before passing through the door and out into the darkened sky.

Misato continued standing in the hallway for a few seconds after Shinji left, wishing that things could go back to how they used to, when Shinji still lived there, and admittedly, when Shinji and Asuka's feelings for each other hadn't blossomed. But things were as they were, and she'd have to cope with the current situation.

Turning back to the kitchen table, she looked at her hardly touched meal and was feeling her appetite slipping, when she heard Asuka's door come flying open.

"Did that ass-hole leave?"

"Yes," said Misato without much emotion in her voice, though Asuka didn't seem to pick it up.

"Well good! Just knowing that he was here was pissing me off," grumbled Asuka as she made her way over to the kitchen table. She seemed to have taken the time to put clothes on now, and was wearing a light blue tank top with matching panties.

Sitting down at the table across from Misato, she looked at the fried rice in front of Misato and glared at it briefly. Placing the palm of her hand against the side of her head she placed her elbows on the table and tilted her head to the right as she asked, "So what is this crap?" She was of course referring to the fried rice that Shinji had made.

"Hmmm? Oh, Shinji made fried rice," mumbled Misato almost inaudibly.

"So how come you're not eating it?" asked Asuka with a slight smirk, thinking that it was so disgusting that she didn't dare touch it.

"Not hungry anymore," said Misato. Suddenly standing up, she wobbled slightly from all the alcohol in her system and started walking to the bathroom.

"What are you-" but Asuka cut herself off when she saw Misato quicken her pace, and next second crash through the bathroom door.

'Oh...that,' thought Asuka as she heard retching noises coming from the bathroom.

Not bothering to hide her disgust from Misato's demeanor, she turned her grimace to the bowl of fried rice that Misato had left on the table. Several different emotions passed over her face as she continued staring at the plate of food. In truth, her stomach was grumbling so loudly that she was surprised the people next door couldn't here it. Even so though...the thought of eating anything that that idiot had made gave her a desire to puke.

Walking around to the other side of the kitchen counter, she opened the fridge, only to discover that it was almost empty except for a few beer cans and a gallon of milk which was almost gone.

'Damn it,' she thought. 'I guess there really isn't anything in the entire fucking apartment.' She didn't even bother checking the cupboards, knowing that she'd have even less chance of finding something in there.

Turning away from the refrigerator, the first thing her eyes set on was the second bowl that Shinji had made.

"Not a chance," she said as though the bowl of fried rice was trying to get her to eat it.

Hearing the sound of the toilet flushing then, Asuka turned as Misato came plodding out of the bathroom, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I think I overdid it a bit," mumbled Misato.

"A bit? Its disgusting watching a grown women puke like that," said Asuka in disgust.

Misato stared at her for a few seconds before she asked, "Are you going to eat?"

"No, not something that that idiot made. Besides half the reason you're probably puking is because of that slop."

Shaking her head, Misato said, "You should eat something, and he's actually a really good cook. Plus he came over because I asked him, so the least you can do is try it."

"Whatever!" snarled Asuka.

Misato sighed then, giving into Asuka's attitude.

"Do what you please then. I'm going to bed earlier. God I think I can feel the headache starting already," said Misato as she slowly made her way to her own room.

Asuka continued standing in the kitchen for a moments longer before she walked towards the living room, determined to forget about Shinji's cooking. Flopping down on the couch, she turned the T.V. on and started flipping through channel, though she wasn't really paying attention to what she saw. Rolling over on to her stomach, she buried her face into one of the couch pillows, trying to ignore the rumbling of her stomach, while in the back round some Japanese game show was blaring out of the T.V.

'...why the hell do I keep thinking of him?' she wondered.

It was more surprise than anything that had made her react that way, when she saw that Shinji was standing in the kitchen; that and the fact that she had just stepped out of the shower. His stupid face just kept entering her mind every time she let it wander though. But why was she thinking of him? He was annoying, an idiot, insensitive, and an ass-hole.

"Damn it," she mumbled as she turned her head to the left, now staring at the white wall across the room. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

Almost in response to her barely audible question, her stomach gave a tremendous rumble, sending a light blush across her face. Though her embarrassment gave way to anger, as she thought about the food sitting on the counter, just several feet away from where she lay.

"Oh...fuck it!" she yelled.

Pushing herself off the couch, she ran her hands through her hair to try to straighten out the loose ends, before she walked into the kitchen. Of course she froze as she saw the full bowl of fried rice just sitting on the counter, as though mocking her.

Narrowing her eyes slightly she first walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed the semi eaten bowl that Misato had barely touched, and placed it in the fridge.

'I suppose Misato will finish it later tonight,' she thought.

Now walking over to the kitchen counter she paused for a second as she looked down at the bowl of fried rice that Shinji had made for her. Hesitating for no more than an instance, her raging hunger won over her despise of eating something made by that idiot, so she picked it up and placed it in the microwave to warm it up.

Tapping her index finger against her bare leg, her willful pride slowly started to take over, and she was an instance from ripping the microwave door open, and throwing the entire bowl, food and all, off the front landing of the apartment complex, when the light inside the microwave went out, and the bowl stopped rotating.

Staring at the microwave for a second, she slowly stretched her hand out, and opened the door to it. She was assaulted by such an intense aroma that she almost fell over in surprise.

'What the hell was that?' she wondered. 'It actually smelled...'

Her face suddenly twisted upward as the thought crossed her mind, but she quickly banished it.

"Yeah right. As if that was possible," she said as she grabbed the bowl out of the microwave, and walked over to the kitchen table.

Sitting down with the bowl in hand, the aroma still wafting off it, she stared at the bowl for a second with a spoon in hand.

'Am I seriously that hungry that I'll even eat something such as this?'

Unfortunately, the answer came almost immediately as her stomach gave another loud rumble.

'This is simply because I'm starving,' she thought while shaking her head. 'No other implications besides those.'

But was that true? She honestly didn't know. Maybe she just wanted to try something made by his hands.

'If it tastes horrible, I'll immediately throw it out,' she thought lastly as she took a small bite of the fried rice.

Almost immediately, as the rice touched her tongue, her taste buds seemed to explode inside her mouth. It was impossible to describe the flavor accurately. It was incredibly simple, but just the way it had been assembled had made all the difference. Asuka knew how to cook well enough by most peoples standards, having to learn how to at a very early stage of her life, but she had never expected to taste something Japanese that she liked. This though...it was amazing simply put. The soy sauce was just enough to soak the rice adequately, while it also made up for the lack of salt that wasn't it in the house. The eggs were cooked perfectly; not too brown, nor to runny. The only thing that could have made this better, was some pork and a few vegetables. But even so-

"Why is this so good?" asked a startled Asuka as she let the spoon in her hand fall from her grasp and land with a 'clank' on the wooden floor. "Something...so simple...but its perfect." Asuka didn't even think she could have done this well, but oddly enough, it didn't make her anger as it should have.

"Damn it...why? Why...that idiot...I-"

Again with the strange emotions. She felt suddenly warm inside, and it wasn't just because of the steaming hot bowl in front of her. No...it was something else.

"I hate this feeling! But I can't...I don't understand it...why!"

Burying her face in both her hands, she tried to stem the flow of pearly clear tears that starting at the corners of her eyes.

"I'm crying...over something so stupid...but I can't...stop. And its almost like-"

Asuka froze instantly as that shocking thought crossed her mind. Drawing her hands away from her face, she didn't even seemed to notice that her eyes were still leaking tears. Now looking down at the bowl in front of her, she bent down while still looking at the bowl, and grabbed the spoon she had dropped earlier. Her hair a disheveled mess from earlier when she had been on the couch, and her eyes still crying silently, she threw all these things out the window as she took another bite. But she was positive this time...

"This taste...its unique...but, I've had it before."

This statement shocked Asuka, and for a moment it seemed that her tears stopped suddenly as though they were even shocked by this. How could she have tasted this before? Its completely impossible. That...idiot, she'd only met him today, so its impossible that she could have tasted it before then. Unless she had had it before at some place in Tokyo-3. But no, she would have remembered something like that, and besides, she hadn't even been out that much.

"Then why-"

But something stopped her.

What if this was another memory? But then...wouldn't that idiot have something to do with her memories? But she had just met him today! It didn't make any sense!

"Damn it...its all so confusing," said Asuka as she laid her head on the table next to the bowl. "But that idio-Shinji...he's so rude... But this...I hate to admit it, but it is good," she said while looking at the bowl of fried rice.

But she couldn't ignore this; it was something that she knew and recognized, but she couldn't remember anything about it. She knew enough about food, to know that it is very difficult to replicate the same taste of something twice over. So she had to assume that she had tried this before, or something incredibly similar to it, and most likely, it had been made by the same person.

"I hate it, but I'm gonna have to ask that idio-" she groaned as she corrected herself, "...Shinji, about this...if only to learn more about my lost memories, since both Misato and Ritsuko don't want to say anything."

She didn't know why, but at that thought, a small smile passed over her face.

"Well...I'll worry about that tomorrow I suppose."

Sitting upright again, she turned her attention back to the fried rice, and quickly devoured it, for a while forgetting how hungry she had been. Standing up, she placed the bowl in the sink, deciding to let Misato deal with the dishes since it had been her idea to ask Shinji to cook in the first place.

After entering her room, she laid down on her futon, and turned off her bedside lamp looking at the small box resting on the nightstand.

'Maybe I shouldn't ask though...' she thought in the end. 'It may be a complete happenstance.'

But she honestly didn't think that.

Rolling over onto her stomach, she buried her face in her soft pillow and quickly fell into peaceful dreams. Peaceful, because oddly enough, Shinji was in them.

* * *

The sun had set, yet Shinji still hadn't returned to Nerv. Simply put...he was lonely. No matter what he had told Misato, he missed living with her and Asuka. He missed making breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. But he knew that he couldn't live there, not anymore. He was all alone now, Misato had left him, Ritsuko had now sunken so low that Shinji wasn't sure if he'd be able to look at her again, he was unsure how he should act around Rei, and of course Asuka didn't know him anymore. But it was better this way he supposed. If he distanced himself from the people he cared for, then they wouldn't get hurt.

Looking up at the dark sky, the stars were almost impossible to see because of the many city lights of Tokyo-3. Placing his hands behind his head, Shinji thought, 'If I end of surviving...well, whatever happens in the end, I think I'd like to live in the country somewhere, so I can see the stars and constellations.'

But of course he would be alone even then.

Turning his gaze away from the stars, he looked in the direction of Nerv and said, "The last angel...huh?"

He knew that he had to confront Kaoru eventually, and very soon, but the idea of killing him still irked him. No matter what Kaoru was, Shinji still thought of him as a human, just as he thought Rei as a human.

"I guess I should get back to Nerv though, before anybody starts getting suspicious."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Shinji started walking into the heart of Tokyo-3 and eventually passed into the Geofront.

* * *

Kaoru sat up on the shore of the man made lake inside the Geofront.

The artificial lights that normally lit the Geofront at night were currently dimmed, attempting to conserve power. Costs had been cut, and the backing that Seele had been giving Nerv had slowly been taken away.

Propping himself up with his hands placed behind his back, Kaoru looked across the lake and said, "I guess I should start moving."

Standing up, he looked towards the giant pyramid like structure in the middle of the Geofront. Somewhere, deep beneath the bowels of Central Dogma rested the body of Lilith.

Now though, he moved his gaze to the East where he could feel a resonating AT-field slowly descending into the Geofront.

Smiling slightly, Kaoru said, "I'll be waiting for you...Shinji-kun..."


	25. Creation

**So this chapter and the next was supposed to be as one, but in the long run I realized that it would been way to big. So this is probably the shortest chapter that you'll see before this story ends**

* * *

In the far East of the Geofront, an elevator door opened and a boy stepped out.

In front of him, another boy stood blocking his way.

Shinji stood still inside the elevator for an undetermined amount of time. He had not expected seeing Kaoru this soon. However, before the elevator doors were able to close, Shinji took several steps out onto the paved path inside the Geofront.

While the Geofront was man made, to anybody from a western country, it would have seemed natural. The Geofront was designed like an octagon, in that it had eight corners and at each corner, an elevator taking you to the surface could be found. Each of these had a single path from there respected elevators, that eventually converged at Central Dogma.

In the center of the Geofront was the man made lake, though not everybody knew that the entire thing was really just a sunken in steel bowl. Along the shore line was of course sand, but if you dug down several feet you would hit a steel plate. The steel plate wrapped all around the shore line, though if you were to wade out into the water, before long you would meet a large drop off. At the bottom of the lake was a ventilation system which constantly filtered the water. At many times, the ecologists of Nerv tried to breed fish inside this soulless steel bowl, but they found that the fish could not properly adapt to the environment.

The Geofront and Central Dogma were of course built upon the Black Moon, Lilith's resting place, so in order to conceal this dark kept secret, Tokyo-3 had to be essentially built on top of it. Every piece of dirt inside the Geofront had been brought from an outside source during the building of Tokyo-3, while the trees, plants, and grass had been grown from another outside source.

Essentially, everything inside the Geofront had been grown by nature, but the landscape had been shaped by the humans.

The paved path that Shinji was walking down, was currently blocked by Kaoru, but it didn't seem like he wanted to fight. His hands were held up next to his shoulder, giving an impression that he was surrendering, and even though he was smiling, it didn't seem like his usual cynical one. Shinji wasn't going to take any chances though.

Pausing several feet away from him, though still adequately able to attack or defend himself if need be, Shinji opened his mouth and asked, "How come you're out here so late?"

Kaoru's hands dropped from the air as he replied, "You should already know that Shinji-kun..."

Shinji narrowed his eyes slightly as he murmured, "You were waiting for me..."

"Of course Shinji-kun," replied Kaoru as he spread his arms wide as though expecting a hug. "Though I just want to talk with you."

"Talk? Isn't it too late for that?" retorted Shinji. "I already...I mean-"

"Yes, you know that I am the final angel," said Kaoru was though he was talking about the weather. "And that we shall eventually have to fight, but I simply want to talk right now."

Shinji hesitated slightly. He didn't trust Kaoru, nor did he think he ever could. But he honestly didn't want to fight him, because in a way, he saw himself in him.

Sighing, Shinji folded his arms and asked, "Why do you want to talk?"

"Why not? It seems that you have been avoiding me ever since we first met, so I never got to know you very well."

'I wonder why,' thought Shinji sarcastically.

"And aren't you curious about myself, since you and I are alike," finished Kaoru.

Shinji whipped his head around and starred at Kaoru. He knew that they were similar, and that Kaoru possibly knew something about him. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to know about himself anymore.

"What...do you mean?" said Shinji slowly.

Smiling slightly, Kaoru looked over to Central Dogma and said, "You know about Lilith...and now about the first child..."

Shinji looked back at him, shocked that he knew about how he had found out about Rei.

"I've known about Lilith for a while now...as for Ayanami..." Shinji trailed off here, still unsure whether he should confront Rei or not.

"But you know, since Dr. Akagi showed you earlier."

"How do you know that?" asked a startled Shinji.

Shaking his head, Kaoru said, "It is enough that you know. Then what about me? Yes, I am the final angel, though that it only part of it. You could say, that the first child, Ayanami Rei to you, is the embodiment of Lilith on this planet, as I am the embodiment of Adam, the first angel."

Shinji blinked several times, unable to believe what he had just heard.

"Though that does not mean I am Adam. Each of my brothers and sisters is unique in there own way, as I am also. My angelic name is Tabris, created from Adam as the other angels were, but my soul is that of Adam's. You could say that this is a chance meeting of sorts."

"Then...you and Ayanami are alike?"

"Correct, just as you and I are alike."

"I'm nothing like you," said Shinji suddenly feeling bitter.

"Oh? How so? You are able to create a powerful AT-field, you can regenerate damaged tissue, and your eyes turn blood red if your angel self takes over. For all intended purposes, you may as well be labeled an angel yourself."

"I'm still human!"

"But far how long?" asked Kaoru with a slight smirk.

Shinji froze momentarily when he heard what Kaoru said, and next moment bit down hard on his bottom lip, drawing blood. He didn't know, and was always in fear of one day waking up and finding out that he had killed half of Nerv's personal.

"I can stay myself," Shinji said stubbornly.

"Maybe you can, maybe not," said Kaoru in a bored voice. "While Seele told me to kill both you and Gendo Ikari, I have found that it is more satisfying to watch and wait, because even after all this time, it is still hard to discern what you are, even with Adam's soul resting in me. Though I begin to understand it better."

Whiteness suddenly flashed in Shinji's mind then, as though the words Kaoru just said were similar to something he had heard before.

"Ritsuko said that you were sent from Seele...is that true?"

"Yes, but I have not kept strictly to the plan for Seele's version of Instrumentality. Seele desires to become the gods of the new earth. But there is a separate plan that Seele does not know about, that which us angels adhere to...and the Tree of Life."

"...I've heard that used before...the Tree of Life. What is it?"

Kaoru was silent for a minute, as though pondering something deep inside him. Seeming to come to a conclusion though, he smiled widely and said, "I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to tell you the story of Adam, Lilith, and the Tree of Life, for it involves yourself closely, all of humanity for that matter, and how you came to become drawn up in all this."

Taking a deep breath, Kaoru started.

"First and foremost, you have to understand human religion. Humans always want to believe that they originated from somewhere, they want to be able to believe in a higher existence then their own that watches over them. So, they created gods, an abstract entity that only exists in the believers mind. But humans were not created out of nothingness, nor did it take billions of years for single celled organisms to eventually develop into humans."

"I already know that," said Shinji hurriedly. "Adam and Lilith created the first humans."

"While true on that simplistic level, that intertwining story that revolves around Adam, Lilith, and all of humanity is much bigger than that."

"Adam and Lilith did not create the universe, nor do they know how it was created. Either it has always existed in infinite time, or it was created by an even higher being than themselves. Maybe it was created by one of your gods...maybe the Christian God. Adam and Lilith don't know, so I don't know. Us angels are able to share each others thoughts and knowledge if we so desire. But Adam and Lilith existed in this wide expanse of space, and after an untold amount of time, it came into their minds that they desired a place to settle down and live."

Sighing slightly, Kaoru stuck his hands in his pockets and said, "The White Moon and Black Moon, that which corresponds to Adam and Lilith. In the beginning, they were something of a separate plane, sectioned off from the rest of space. Adam and Lilith used them as a means of rest, hibernation I suppose. What you have to understand, is that how you humans view us angels, is not how we truly are. When we descend to earth, we give ourselves form, a body I suppose, for we our nothing more than energy beings, formless masses of energy that would seem like white static to humans. Adam and Lilith were no different, and existed without a body throughout there travels in the universe. The Moons though were a means of travel from one solar system to another, for even Adam and Lilith would become weary of moving through space without any means. However, they kept in contact with each through their thoughts, and even feelings for each other."

Here Kaoru paused though and a strange expression, almost one of confusion seemed to pass over his face.

"I don't know the entire details behind there travels, because I am the last of the angels brought about by the White Moon, but they eventually came to a small planet, which of course you humans know as earth."

Shinji was surprised at the tone of Kaoru's voice. It was much deeper and more methodical than his usual carefree voice.

"The Moons collided against earth, and while the Black Moon of Lilith crashed in what would later become Japan, the White Moon has never been found. Some personal from Nerv claim that the White Moon was found during the contact experiment with Adam in Antarctica, but it is unsubstantiated, and my knowledge does not support this hypothesis. It is likely that Adam moved it far away after the Lilim were created, fearing that they would learn its secrets.

Earth was young then, and is still young according to Adam and Lilith, but they were patient, and slowly, it seemed that the same force that gave birth to the universe created life on earth. Trees grew, plants grew, and Adam and Lilith grew along with them, for they had never seen such things on any other planet they had ever visited. And as there knowledge of living planets grew, so did their love for each other. Adam and Lilith loved each other, as a husband and wife do, but it was different than that, because they had been with each since as far back as they could remember. But they each had a different love that was unique to them. Adam gave the love not of Lilith to the stars and the sky, the feel of water and smell of the air. But Lilith gave her love not of Adam to all the plants she encountered, and delighted in naming them."

Sadness seemed to pass over Kaoru's face briefly, as thought he was remembering a particularly painful memory.

"As time passed though, they became estranged from each other, and no longer sought each other out and wandered the valleys in which the things of which they loved existed. But as it chanced, Adam wandered more than Lilith did, because he was able to view the stars from every place he pleased, desiring to see the stars in different locations. And he met Lilith among the trees and plants in a long forgotten location, and he was dumbfounded, for he had forgotten about her, which he had once loved, and desiring a body that would seem fair to himself, he created something akin to the bodily shape of a human, and caught her in the woods."

Shaking his head slowly, Kaoru said, "The long story of Adam and Lilith continues on for a while after this meeting, during which there is not much to say, besides the fact that Lilith desired a body similar to Adam and created one. The image of woman was born out of this. It is one of the reasons myself, and Ayanami Rei are as we are. We alone out of the angels appear in a human body, because we house the souls of Adam and Lilith respectively. However, the soul of Lilith..." Kaoru seemed to trail off, and didn't finished his sentence.

"Now though, we enter a new phase in the interaction between Adam and Lilith, that being the Tree of Life, and the coming of the Lilim.

After a time, Adam pondered the possibility of creating another being similar to himself, though with less power. He came to Lilith with this, and they collaborated with each other, both desiring children of sorts. That is how us beings known as angels were born, for though Adam and Lilith are counted among the angels, they are merely the forerunners. They are entirely different beings that are on a different level than us angels. But Lilith was not happy with this, having little to do with the creation of the angels. She kept her silence though, and feigned happiness.

After five millenniums though, she grew tired of the angelic beings akin to Adam more so than she was, and wandered far on the planet earth, no longer desiring to be with Adam. She went as a young woman, still loving the shape that she had molded for herself. But Adam had gone back to being a formless shape of energy, because the angels could not assume a human form as Adam and Lilith could. So his love grew for them, while all the while, Lilith slowly disappeared from his mind. But after a time she returned, and told him what she desired, and Adam took pity on her. Though she hated the pity he gave her, her desire for children of her own outgrew the scorn she now showed towards him, and eventually they worked together."

Sighing heavily, Kaoru said in a heavy tone, "Never was a graver mistake made in all the confines of the universe than the creation of the Lilim, for while Adam had created the angels, he had given them a certain level of power. But the Lilim where unique, because even though they lacked power, they were still able to seize it, and change there destiny's according to what they desired.

And so, Adam tore off a piece of his own body and molded it into a shape of his choice, and so man was formed. But Lilith tore upon her chest cavity, and from the fluid that leaked out, she created the soul of the man, and give him a self...the AT-field. Lilith wanted more though, and begged Adam to make a being in likeness to herself, and Adam tore off another piece of himself and formed it into woman. Lilith then gave woman a soul, and an AT-field to define her. Thus, the Lilim were created.

Now Adam saw the change in Lilith's demeanor, and was displeased by it, sensing the greed and hatred she now had for him, and in response, he created the Tree of Life."

"And what is the Tree of Life exactly?" asked Shinji, trying to wrap his head around this convoluted story.

"The Tree of Life...is essentially that which governs everything. The changing of the seasons, the rotation of the earth, the continued growth of all living things, but more so, it is the life force of earth. Adam created the Tree of Life so that earth would continue growing without needed assistance from himself, for after the many millenniums that passed, he grew tired of earth. But he still loved it nonetheless. But the Tree of Life had a secondary purpose, for in Lilith's thoughts which they still shared, he saw an unbidden desire blossom in her, and was afraid by it.

Now the Lilim grew and slowly populated the earth, having the power to create there own offspring, but in one thing did Adam expressly forbid Lilith to do, and that was to expose her knowledge to them. Lilith however, disobeyed him, loathing the way he was able to mingle with his own children, the angels, while she was forbade to. And so Lilith taught the Lilim much of her knowledge. They learned the names of the planets, living plants and the stars, and soon grew to be able to wield primitive tools. But in no worse thing did she do than envelop them within the Black Moon of Lilith."

Here, Kaoru paused for a minute and said something else, "You of course know the story in the Christian Bible how Eve was enticed by the serpent to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and thus discovered right from wrong. This is the truth behind that story.

The humans that followed Lilith into the Black Moon learned much about far away planets, mystical arts, and the like, but they also gained something unique that the angels did not possess, and that was the understanding of good and evil. The angels do not understand good and evil. Something either is, or it isn't. That is the way we define things. But Adam and Lilith understood the concept of good and evil, and Lilith immediately knew that what she had done was evil, but Adam also recognized this, reading Lilith's thoughts even though they were on separate sides of the planet.

Adam confronted Lilith about her decision to let humans learn the secrets of the Black Moon and at the same time removed the White Moon from the planet, fearing that humans would seek for it. Adam then told Lilith about the Tree of Life, prophesying that after many years of continued growth from the Lilim, they would eventually bring about the destruction of the Tree of Life, meaning the planet earth. Lilith rebuked him however, saying that she did not care about his own agendas, and only wished to be with her own children. Adam said that Lilith was a fool, and that every living thing was wrapped up within the Tree of Life."

Sighing heavily, Kaoru said, "The Tree of Life, the sustenance of earth, and that which us angels adhere to, for Adam gave us a purpose after the designs of Lilith were full wrought, and told us that after a time, we were to protect the Tree of Life, even if it meant the destruction of the Lilim.

Each branch of the Tree of Life governs something on earth, except for the Lilim which the Tree of Life is unable to interfere with, but the Lilim can interfere with it. As each branch of the Tree of Life governs something, so does each angel govern a branch of the Tree of Life. Each angel is set higher than the next on the branches, and each increasing branch upon which the angel rests on, he can read the thought of the angels below him, but not above him, if there is such a thing. Myself as being the last angel, I knew before hand what would transpire and while the death of my brothers and sisters saddens me, I still accept it. But I do not know what happens after this, only Adam and possibly Lilith know.

As you have now guessed, the time has come which Adam had prophesied long ago, that the Tree of Life would die out as humans consumed the life force of the earth, and that the angels would be sent to destroy them for the greed that they inherited from Lilith."

"But that was several thousand years ago!" complained Shinji.

"Yes," replied Kaoru, "and humans have not learned of their mistakes from the past. At first, us angels took pity on you, not desiring to destroy you, since we all originated from one being. But as time wore on, we learned of the cruelty that you showed to other living things and beings like yourselves. And we grew to hate you, being so wrapped up in the Tree of Life."

"So you hate me yourself!" yelled Shinji.

"I did not say that, nor will I ever say that," replied Kaoru. "You are different, because you are like myself. And you are unique as a human even with the angel half of you."

"So what! I don't want to be unique!"

"But you are, and you have to realize your importance in all this. But I am not done yet with my story."

"Now Lilith pondered everything that Adam had said and grew displeased by it, seeing the eventual destruction of her children. But her desire she still saw as a possibility."

"And what was that!" spat out Shinji.

Smiling slightly, Kaoru said, "I don't know, because it was never revealed to us by Adam. Only he knew what she wished for. But I have a guess, and that was that she wished to recreate the earth in a way she saw fit for humans."

"How though? The earth existed before Adam and Lilith I thought?"

"It did, and while I said recreate, I meant it in a way which removes the angels, Adam, and now also the Tree of Life from the equation. She would set herself as the heart of earth, creating and destroying things as she pleases."

Shinji frowned slightly, not thinking that this was a particularly bad idea.

"As it stand though, it seems that her plan is coming to fruition, since I am now the last angel."

"You guys attacked us first though," mumbled Shinji almost inaudibly.

"Yes, but it was to insure that we had a future, to insure that we would continue surviving, and if the Tree of Life dies, than so do you and all other humans. The Tree has long since been bereft of fruit and is now decaying rapidly. It will only be a matter of time before the planet starts dying."

"But killing us just because we made a mistake-"

"Which you continue to make," said Kaoru harshly.

Shinji bit down on his lips, unsure how he should take all this. If Kaoru was telling the truth about everything he said...then how exactly was Shinji supposed to react to all this.

"You haven't told me how I fit into all this," said Shinji suddenly.

Kaoru, who had been looking down at his own feet looked up and smiled while saying, "Well as for that, you hold a special place in both ours, and Lilith's plans."

"Why is that?"

"You are both simultaneously angel and human, meaning you can either rebuild the Tree of Life as an angel, or cast it down as a human. You could even chose your own path completely irrelevant to the others, but you can decide that when the time comes. And besides, it seems we will have guests soon."

As he said this, Kaoru seemed to disappear and reappear directly in front of Shinji. Stretching his index finger out, he pressed it against Shinji's forehead. The moment Kaoru's finger pressed against his forehead, a bright light seemed to enter Shinji's mind. All at once, a surge of memories hit him. A blue sky, white sand, a formless shape talking to him, everything from his previous encounter with the angel known as Tabris rushed back to him.

"You...you," said Shinji meekly. "Before...the test with Unit 01...and I met you."

"Correct," said Kaoru as he took several steps back. "That was me back then, the true me I suppose."

"That was...you told me that was earth."

"I did. It is the same earth as this, but it is altogether different, because of the choices you made. It was one of the many alternative choices you could make. One that is similar to letting the Tree of Life die, but also different at the same time."

"But then...was that reality?"

"Yes and no. It is the reality of the Shinji Ikari that chose that possibility, but you no longer have that possibility."

"But how...did I get...there in the first place, and why were you there?"

Kaoru paused for a minute in confusion, as though he didn't really know.

"I'm not sure why I was there, but I believe it was to find your wandering mind. As for you being there...it was likely the influence of Lilith."

"...Influence of...Lilith. What do you-"

Something whizzed through the tree around them and-

-Next moment, something orange flashed in front of him.

"What the-"

"Looks like they finally set up," murmured Kaoru as he tilted his head towards the North.

Shinji turned his head along with Kaoru, and next second caught what he had missed the first time.

From far away, Shinji was just barely able to see the glimmer of something like a scope before it exploded. The muzzle of the gun erupted as the armor piercing bullet came ripping through the air, aimed at Kaoru. Kaoru without hesitating, deployed his AT-field, and the velocity of the bullet was cut to zero as it came into contact with Kaoru's AT-field. The bullet immediately stopped, and fell to the ground without incident.

"I guess this is Gendo Ikari's message to the men of Seele," sighed Kaoru as he looked in the direction of the sniper. It was then that Shinji noticed Kaoru's feet seemed to have left the ground, and that he was hovering several inches above the paved path.

"Kaoru...what are you-" Shinji asked.

Kaoru had raised his right arm high above his head, and turned his entire body towards the position where the sniper was concealed. Without hesitating, he swung his arm down.

Shinji had known that his AT-field was powerful, but he never would have guessed something like this.

His AT-field streaked like a thing piece of wire almost touching the ground through the air, flying towards its target. The edge of blades of grass where severed off, while trees were decapitated at there base. It looked as though the place had just been deforested in a matter of seconds. And yet...

Shinji could hear the brief yell before it was brutally cut off as Kaoru's AT-field spliced the snipers body apart, cutting into the bridge of his noes, and continuing down until he looked like a hot dog. He had been laying down while sniping.

"...Kaoru...you," said Shinji, taking a few seconds to get his voice back.

"Hmmm? I did nothing but defend myself. You would have done the same thing Shinji-kun."

"No I wouldn't! Taking a persons life without a seconds thought. Its-"

"But he was prepared to take mine, and while he had been acting on orders, it was still ultimately his decision to fire."

"Kaoru!" yelled Shinji.

Kaoru smiled lightly as he started rising further in the air, his gaze now shifting towards Central Dogma.

"I'll await you in Lilith's chamber. There is one last thing that I haven't told you, but as for that, I am not sure myself."

Kaoru then turned, and glided through the air as he made his way towards Central Dogma.

Shinji meanwhile stood stock still with his eyes wide open as everything Kaoru had said coursed through his mind. Simply put, he didn't know what to do. Kaoru...was not a bad person, that was what Shinji thought, and so he didn't want to fight him. But if all of humanity was to be destroyed...then...

Shinji shook his head, unfortunately knowing what he'd most likely have to do at the end of it all. Starring in the direction of the giant pyramid shaped building inside the Geofront, Shinji mumbled, "Adam and Lilith...and I fit somewhere in between."

Making a decision, he started sprinting towards Central Dogma.

* * *

"What did you say!" yelled Misato as she sat bolt upright in her makeshift bed.

She had no idea how late it was, only that she had gone to bed heavily drunk, and at Ritsuko's words, she felt wide awake now.

"'Nagisa Kaoru has been classified as the last angel, and has been ordered to be killed on sight' is what the commander Ikari said a little while ago. Just thought I should let you know," said Ritsuko over the phone.

"So it is true," mumbled Misato. "Anyway, I'll be down there in a few minutes."

"Hang on Misato, thats not all. It was sometime ago, but Kaoru was seen talking to Shinji over at the eastern most gate. We sent a sniper to take Kaoru out, but we haven't heard from him so its assumed that he..." Ritsuko trailed off here, though Misato understood the meaning behind the brief silence.

"What did Kaoru talk to Shinji about?" asked Misato as she started looking for clothes that were acceptable.

"I've no idea, but it seems that Kaoru is heading to Central Dogma now."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," said Misato as she hung up the phone.

Walking to her door, she slid it open, only to come face to face with Asuka.

Misato opened her mouth in surprise, but Asuka cut her off quickly by saying, "Whats wrong? Has another angel appeared?"

Misato closed her mouth, and accidentally bit down on her tongue. She hadn't thought about having a confrontation with Asuka right now.

"Oh...um, no. I just...forgot to do something, and Ritsuko just reminded me about it," said Misato, not believable in the least.

"Hmmm...really?" asked Asuka with a raised eyebrow, not believing her for a minute.

"Ah, yeah, so I should really get-"

"Does that idiot have anything to do with why your going in?" asked Asuka in one breath.

The sudden jerk of Misato's head was really all the answer that Asuka needed, however, Misato tried to feign her ignorance as she said, "Huh? Idiot? What are you talking about?"

Asuka crossed her arms in front of her chest and said with a slight sneer, "Who else but...that idiot that was here earlier." Apparently, she had gone back to refusing to use Shinji's name.

"Oh...him," muttered Misato as her shoulders seemed to sag. She couldn't possibly brush of Asuka's question now with a simple lie.

Asuka then started tapping her index finger against her right arm, waiting for Misato to say something truthful, all the while becoming more annoyed as the seconds ticked by.

"He...most likely has something to do with this," said Misato only halfway telling the truth. "As you already guessed...an angel has appeared, the final one actually. Its Kaoru...the fourth child, he's an angel. A sniper was sent to kill him...but we haven't heard back from him...so most likely he's dead. But the last transmission we received from him, was saying that the third, and fourth children were talking to each other. It seems the fourth, now classified as the final angel, is descending on Central Dogma. Its likely that...Shinji will pursue him."

"In which case I can help out."

"Wha...Asuka?"

"I'll launch in Unit 02...we don't have the first anymore..."

Misato bit her tongue to hold her silence, but she had heard a strange rumor that Rei had somehow survived the explosion of Unit 00, if that was at all possible. However-

"I can't let you pilot yet Asuka."

"That again!" said Asuka suddenly firing up. "How many times do I have to tell you Misato. I. Am. Fine!"

"That remains to be seen," said Misato, "we still haven't been able to have any tests done on your synchronization with Unit 02."

"Then this can serve as a test, and actual combat," replied Asuka stubbornly.

"Absolutely not!" yelled Misato as she planted her foot firmly down on the hardwood floor.

Asuka seemed rather taken aback at Misato's sudden assertiveness, but stood her ground nonetheless.

"I'm piloting!"

"No you are no-"

However, a loud ringing could be heard from behind Misato. Turning back into her room, she grabbed the phone off the ground next to her futon and listened intently to the person on the other line. Asuka meanwhile, had propped her back against the door frame of Misato's room, and was frowning intently as Misato continued talking away into the phone.

After a few minutes, Misato slowly put the cordless phone back on the receiver and looked down at it for a few seconds. She seemed worried.

"Whats up?" asked Asuka from the doorway suddenly.

Misato turned towards her and said, "Ritsuko just called back. They found the sniper...but the description..." Misato shook her head, as she recalled what Ritsuko had told her on how he had likely died.

"Is that it?" asked Asuka.

"No, Kaor...the angel it seems has entered Central Dogma."

Asuka continued starring at Misato for a few seconds before the question that had been nagging at the back of her mind ever since Misato picked up the phone sprung forward.

"Did anyone...I mean...about that idiot..."

Misato was rather surprised at the tone in Asuka's voice.

'Did I just hear that right? Did she sound worried?' she wondered.

"No, nobody has seen Shinji since last at the East gate."

"I see," mumbled Asuka dejectedly.

Misato blinked openly at Asuka for a few seconds before she sighed and said, "Hurry and change. I'll take you to Nerv along with me, since something seems to be bothering you."

"Huh? What gave you that idea?"

"No...never mind then," mumbled Misato as she turned away from Asuka. "Just change into something quickly."

"Okay," said Asuka as she turned away from Misato, her fiery hair swinging behind her.

As Misato watched her leave, she briefly thought, 'I hope I don't regret this...'

* * *

The entirety of Central Dogma filled Shinji's vision as he looked up at it. He knew that Kaoru had entered it earlier, had felt his AT-field ripping apart one of the many entrances leading in. Shinji didn't know why though, but he didn't want anybody to see him. He had already hidden from several Nerv operatives as he made his way along the paved path from the East gate to Central Dogma. But he supposed that the second he entered Central Dogma, his position would be pegged.

Checking around carefully, he ran towards the concealed exit that was used for emergency access only. Normally, it was something only the workers that maintained the Geofront used, but Shinji thought they could make an exception to him. However, as he pushed against the bar that would open the door, he swore lightly.

"Damn it...locked."

Shinji bit down on his lip and thought about his options. He could go to one of the main entrances of course and get spotted immediately. Or he could...

Looking down at his right hand that hung at his side, he clenched it suddenly and thought, "They'll find out eventually anyway."

Thrusting his right hand forward while still clenched in a fist, he produced a cone like AT-field that smashed against the emergency door, forcing it inward, until the hinges holding it in place could no longer support the odd direction that door was being forced into. With a loud snap, and the sound of two large pieces of metal coming in contact with each other, Shinji pushed the door inward, until it looked like nothing but a crumpled piece of paper.

Ignoring what he had done, he ran past the crumbled door, and flew down the corridor until he reached a flight of stairs used for emergency purposes. Jumping them two at a time, he passed five flights of stairs before he reached a landing where a door with a push bar stood. Not dropping his pace for even an instance, he ran against the door, forcing it open. Though admittedly, he didn't think it would have swung open so suddenly.

Shinji seemed to fly out from this door and into a long corridor lined with many doors and rooms that had safety glass along the walls. It seemed he had crashed directly into the science department.

'At least I know where I am,' thought Shinji suddenly as he picked himself off from the floor. But behind him he heard an audible scream.

Spinning around, he saw a woman in a white lab coat running in the opposite direction, and papers spilling from her arms.

Frowning quizzically, Shinji walked over to one of the rooms with the safety glass along one of its walls, and examined his reflection.

"Ah, she must have thought I was Kaoru," mumbled Shinji as he looked back at his own reflection. His eyes must have changed blood red when he used his AT-field. But even so, he would have figured most people at Nerv, especially in the science department, knew now about his...condition.

Shaking his head, he thought, 'From here, the Evangelion chambers or still several floors down, so I should probably try to find an eleva-'

Something rocked the very depths of Nerv suddenly, and Shinji for a moment felt he was going to lose his balance. But without a doubt, it had to be-

"Kaoru," muttered Shinji softly. He had felt his AT-field then, and it was more powerful than anything he had felt before. He wasn't sure if he could beat him...

Scrunching up his face, he ignored the worrying feeling in his chest and sprinted down the hallway, where he remembered there should be an elevator. As he continued sprinting though, he said without caring whether someone heard him or not, "I hope to God Misato doesn't come here."

Unfortunately, that only made him even more worried, as the prospect of somebody else coming also entered his mind.

* * *

Kaoru had forced his way into the Evangelions chamber, and was currently standing in front of Unit 02 on the walkway. Smiling up at it, he said, "Shall we pave a path of destruction, Unit 02?"

Rising up in the air he hovered just in front of Unit 02's eyes and seemed to beckon to it. Unit 02's eyes suddenly opened as it shuddered against the bracers holding it in place. The walkway that Kaoru had been standing on split in half, as Unit 02 floating seamlessly upward, just as Kaoru had done earlier.

Smiling slightly, Kaoru looked down at the wide bottom of the Evangelions chamber where he could force his way into Terminal Dogma. Swinging his right arm down in an arc, the metal flooring was split in two, opening up a wide chasm so that Unit 02 could fit through.

Slowly descending now, with Unit 02 directly behind him, Kaoru started lowering himself into Terminal Dogma. However, out from the depths where the light of the sun could not pierce, a voice that was harsh one second, and yet pleasant the next seemed to vibrate around him.

Laughing lightly as the soul of Adam engulfed him and filled him with the knowledge of this voice, he said, "I suppose Lilith is expecting me."

* * *

Ayanami Rei stood alone in the chamber of Lilith.

No...not alone.

For the soul of Lilith was present also.


	26. Adam's Spawn

**Longest chapter to date...and boy is it a doozy. God that sounded lame. But really it is... **

* * *

Asuka gripped the handle on the passenger side door as Misato came swinging around the corner at fifty-five miles an hour while the sign seconds before had clearly said thirty. Now though, this being the fourth time they had hit a corner this fast, Asuka's heart rate didn't skyrocket like it had done the first time. Even so though, this speed was a little much.

"Uhhh...Misato," said Asuka after making sure that no more turns were coming for a while. "I know that your driving sucks, but isn't this...a little too fast..."

Misato continued staring out of the windshield while gripping the steering wheel tightly. Asuka frowned slightly at the expression on Misato's face. Simply put, she couldn't ever remember seeing her this worried.

Finally opening her mouth, Misato said, "Sorry. I know that I'm driving faster than normal, but..."

"But what?" asked Asuka.

"I'm worried about Shinji," Misato said simply. "And I'm worried about...what happens after this."

"Why?"

"This is the final angel...but what happens to us after all the angels are defeated."

"Go back to our normal lives I suppose," said Asuka with a shrug.

Misato held her tongue. Did Asuka honestly expect a normal life after all this? Even with the angels defeated, experiments would still be conducted, tests with the Evangelions would still continue. Most likely, Asuka would go back to Germany and continue living there, while Unit 02 would go with her. Shinji though... Misato wasn't sure what would happen to him. Then there was Seele, and she couldn't help but feel that they had a large part to play in the end of all this, since they were the ones that sent them the final angel apparently.

"How come you're worried about that idiot?"

"Who? Shinji?"

Asuka bit her lip, but nodded anyway, resigning to the fact that Misato had addressed him by his name.

Misato paused for a second before saying, "I can't help but feel, that whatever happens after the final angel is defeat, Shinji is going to change. But I don't...think it will be a good change."

"...You always sound like you know him well."

Misato glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Asuka watching her keenly while slumped against the side of the passenger door.

"I suppose that I do know him well," mumbled Misato.

'In fact, I probably know him best...besides yourself,' Misato said in her mind as an afterthought.

No matter what Shinji said or denied that it was impossible to replicate what him and Asuka once had, Misato held onto the hope that they would one day be able to rekindle the feelings they had for each other.

"You're gonna pass the turn if you don't slow down," said Asuka after a few minutes pause as she rested her head against the cool glass of the passenger side window.

Misato's response, was to swing the car in a half circle, making Asuka briefly wish that she hadn't come along as she gripped the door handle so hard that it was in danger of snapping off.

* * *

It seemed that he had been expected, since Unit 01's entry plug was ready to be inserted into the Eva. Shinji could only assume that he had been seen on cameras earlier as he had ran through the hallways of the science department searching for an elevator. He was grateful though that everything had been prepared for him.

Noticing the plug suit that hung on the railing in front of Unit 01, he quickly dawned it without any worry of someone watching him, and looked up into the face of Unit 01. He didn't know when it had happened, but he supposed that Unit 01 was something of his partner in combat. Though he himself had a certain power like that of an angels, he felt that he could always rely on Unit 01 if he got into a pinch. Part of that was probably the knowledge that every time he stepped into the entry plug, he knew that his mother was right next to him.

Climbing up the long the ladder, he lowered himself into the entry plug and instantly synchronized with Unit 01. Quite frankly, he hadn't felt this calm in a while. His worry about Asuka, Rei, what Kaoru had told him, and everything about his own mysterious powers were thrown out the window as he inhaled the LCL fluid.

Opening up a communication channel for the command center, he was surprised to see vice commander Fuyutsuki on the line.

"Fuyutsuki? ...What are you-"

"Major Misato is on her way," he replied curtly. "Until then, I will be in charge of this operation. The angel has started its descent into Terminal Dogma along with Unit 02. It is passing the eleventh gate right now-"

"Unit 02?" stammered Shinji in surprise at Fuyutsuki's statement. But he bit his lip in worry over Misato coming. In truth, he really didn't want her here when he-

"Unit 02 has been classified as an enemy with the control that the angel has over it. Thus you have been ordered to destroy it"

"But...another Evangelion...and its Asuka's," mumbled Shinji.

Fuyutsuki was silent for a minute until he said, "Be that as it may, the commander has said to treat Unit 02 as an enemy. And we can't know whether or not the angel has joined with Unit 02, contaminating it completely."

"Then have Ritsuko do a full diagnostic on its sys-"

"Dr. Akagi has..." Fuyutsuki hesitated here for a second, as though determining whether Shinji should know about this or not.

Only one thing passed through Shinji's mind though at what Fuyutsuki has said.

'Did they found out about Ritsuko showing me the truth of Ayanami and the dummy plug system?'

"Well...it doesn't really matter," finished Fuyutsuki with a frown.

'No, it really didn't matter,' thought Shinji. As long as he did what he was supposed to do, nothing else mattered.

As Shinji turned to sever the link between the two, Fuyutsuki halted him.

"Hang on Shinji..."

"What? I should be-"

"I know...just, don't push yourself. We all care about you...Gendo included."

"He doesn't give a da-"

"No he does...or at least...a part of him does."

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

Shaking his head, Fuyutsuki said, "Never mind, I shouldn't have said anything." After a few moments of staring at each other over the screen, Fuyutsuki sighed and said, "I don't think I ever told you, but your mother used to be a student of mine."

Shinji blinked several times at this sudden surprise and opened his mouth wide before saying, "My mom...what? Student?"

"I used to be a teacher at the university she attended; I taught Gendo also. Your mother was an extraordinarily bright and gifted student, so it pained me when I learned that she had died in the contact experiment with Unit 01. But as her son, I see that you inherited her kindness."

Shinji turned his head away from Fuyutsuki feeling oddly embarrassed by this compliment.

"Have Misato contact me when she arrives," said Shinji as he manually removed the safety locks binding Unit 01 in place.

"Will do, and Shinji..."

"Huh?"

"Trust in your own judgement."

Shinji's face was passive for a few minutes before he smiled slightly and said, "Thanks," before the connection was gone.

However, his smile fell moments after Fuyutsuki's face disappeared. A heavy sigh escaped his half closed lips then as he readied himself for what he was about to do.

Making Unit 01 walk forward, he proceeded to the only elevator that would take him into Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Tires screeched against asphalt as Misato's car skidded into a parking spot in one of the many parking garages of Nerv that littered the entirety of Tokyo-3. Before the car had even come to a complete stop, Misato yanked the key out of the ignition and threw her car door open.

Asuka, who's nails had been in threat of being torn off at this last harebrained turn, let go of the passenger sides door handle and seemed to twitch slightly. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of her face as she let out a sigh of relief.

'Dear God...I thought I was going to die,' she thought as she opened the passenger side door and stepped out of the car.

Standing to her full height, she looked around at Misato who had already started walking over to an elevator that would start there trip to Nerv. Asuka had never been to Nerv this way before, as it wasn't something Evangelion pilots usually took. It for more...well, less important people in her opinion. So she was rather surprised that Misato would take such a way.

Trotting over to Misato, who had already swiped her Nerv security card through the slot next to the elevator and was now waiting impatiently for the door to open, Asuka asked her the question she had just bee pondering.

"Hey Misato...how come we're taking this way to Nerv? Couldn't we have just taken one of the gates like we normally do?"

Misato seemed not to hear her though, as she was biting her nails absentmindedly and tapping her foot in impatience.

Asuka felt a trace of irritation at this, and if it had been any one else, she probably would have kicked them in the back of the leg. Certainly if it had been that idio-

'No, don't think about that,' thought Asuka as she shook her head frantically. But at this gesture, Misato seemed to realize Asuka was standing behind and turned asking-

"Huh? Sorry, did you say something Asuka?"

"Why are we taking the lowly employee route to Nerv?"

"Oh...good question actually," said Misato as she scratched her head in a confused gesture.

"You serious? You don't know why you went this way?"

"No...well, I was thinking about other things while driv-Oh...the elevators here."

Ending the conversation, Misato hurriedly stepped into the elevator while Asuka, with a frown on her face, did likewise. Punching in the very bottom number on the keypad next to the elevator door, the elevator took them under the streets of Tokyo-3. Even though Asuka had never seen this part of Nerv, she still understood that there was a tram of some-sorts that ran underneath Tokyo-3 that was strictly for Nerv's use.

As the elevator doors opened, it seemed that what Asuka had heard was true.

It looked more like a subway than anything really. Two trams sat on a metal rail, and Asuka guessed that one went towards Nerv for when people were going to work, and the other was for when people went home. Though she figured that these weren't the only two.

The open area they were in wasn't all that large, compared to what most of Japan's subway systems looked like. A low hung ceiling rested above there heads, while between the elevator they had just stepped out of, and the tram several steps away from them, there really wasn't much room in between. But then again, this wasn't the only parking garage that was used for Nerv, so rush hour shouldn't be too much of a problem. At least nobody else seemed to be heading towards Nerv like they were, though Asuka was sure this had something to do with it being the end of the work day.

The tram that they were hurrying towards was overly white with bright red trim along the very top of it. It was relatively small, looking as though somebody had cut a bus in half and called it good. Three windows were placed inches apart along the left and right sides of the tram, while a large window in the front and back could also be looked out of. The one thing that Asuka missed was the driver, but thinking about it, everything was automated now days.

"Oi Asuka! Hurry it up," came Misato's voice, who was standing in the doorway of the tram and waiting for her.

"Wha? Oh sorry."

Hurrying along, her bright red hair swinging behind her, she entered the tram just as the doors closed. She supposed that after somebody entered it, it gave a few seconds to see if anybody else entered before the doors closed.

Sitting down on one of the seats, she leaned her head back and asked, "Are we under the Geofront."

"Right now no. We're still a few levels above it, but it does start to slope down and go under the Geofront directly to Central Dogma."

"Hmmm...I see," mumbled Asuka, though she was honestly thinking that if she had to do this every single day, she'd die of boredom.

Several minutes later, Asuka could definitely feel the downward angle that the tram was going at, and then the tunnel they were in disappeared along side them.

Asuka knew that the Geofront was large, and that there were people who specifically maintained the environment of it, but she had never guessed that it was so vast underneath.

It couldn't be called a room, more like an area.

The tram now rolled along the metal tracks several hundred feet in the air, and Asuka looked out one of the side windows to peer down. Admittedly, there wasn't much to see. Just darkness really. She guessed now they were directly underneath the Geofront, and looking up out of the window, she saw the metal ceiling above them. Frowning slightly, she saw many tubes crisscrossing under each other, and wondered if this didn't have something to do with the man made lake.

"We're almost there," said Misato suddenly, pulling Asuka away from her thoughts.

"Okay."

Turning away from the window, she rested her elbows on her knees and placed her chin in the palms of her hands as she waited for the tram to stop.

* * *

Shinji didn't think this was an elevator. No certainly not!

In reality, it was just a giant metal shaft that descended into the lower reaches of Nerv and more importantly, Terminal Dogma. Shinji guessed that it had been built especially for the use of the Evangelions.

As he gripped the controls of Unit 01, he thought about what he was going to do.

Kill Kaoru.

He didn't see any other options than that simple fact. Yes he believed what Kaoru had said, yes he understood that humans were stubborn, selfish, and possibly evil at times. But exterminating the whole race just so that the Tree of Life, or whatever bullshit it was could stay alive? Fuck that! He wouldn't, and couldn't allow it. Maybe he was just like all the other humans: selfish. But he didn't want to lose anybody else dear to him.

And then there was the angel part of him screaming to not kill Kaoru. It told him to sympathize with the angels, and to listen earnestly to what they had to say. Shinji was afraid of this small voice in the back of his head, because as he was now, he might just listen to it.

His eyes had not changed back yet, and he was worried that his angel self might completely control him soon. And even if he killed Kaoru...then what? Seele surely wouldn't back down with the death of there agent. It seemed that Kaoru was going against what they desired right now, so Shinji supposed he would be killed by them anyway. But he didn't like it. He found himself wishing that him and Kaoru could have been friends, but because of who Kaoru was, and who Shinji was, it just never seemed possible.

"Is it completely pointless then?" asked Shinji to nobody in particular. "I've already lost Asuka, then I lost Ayanami. Who is next? Misato? Ritsuko seems to have been confined somewhere."

Shinji felt like all his hope was being swept away by some powerful force, but it was simply his own feelings of helplessness that were doing this. No matter what kind of power he had acquired, he was still Shinji Ikari, a fifteen year old boy that had been trust forward into a position he didn't want.

'I hate it all,' he thought. 'Everybody that pushed me into this. Father, Fuyutsuki, Ritsuko, Misato, Ayanami, Asuka...Asuka...'

He mumbled her name last, her of which he had connected, and then lost. What existed was now gone, and for fear of what might happen, he would never pursue that again.

But most of all, he supposed he hated himself. Who he was, with this disgusting feeling of being neither human or angel.

"Its there fault," he muttered, "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for them. I hate them..."

Though that wasn't true. Only Shinji Ikari could decide what Shinji Ikari wanted to do. What decisions led him to this point was something only Shinji Ikari had decided upon. Could he still be influenced by the people around him? Certainly! But ultimately, it was still his decision on what to do.

He blamed them anyway though, because it was easier than accepting the fact that this reality was something he brought about. Did he loath it? Maybe, but he didn't know what the other possibilities were. Were there just a billions different realities with a Shinji Ikari making decisions and changing everything based on these decisions? Maybe, but this was the reality of this Shinji Ikari, and not another. He had to except what it was. Even if everybody else threw him away, even if everybody else ignored him, even if everybody else shunned and kicked him, he would still-

"So it doesn't matter," said Shinji uncaringly as he regained control of himself, throwing away these thoughts. "I'm myself, myself as Shinji Ikari. Whatever people think about me...doesn't matter, because I know who I am. Even if everybody forgets me, I won't forget myself...so it doesn't matter."

Smiling slightly at this thought, he shook his head trying to rid himself of his weakness. But human weakness doesn't disappear, rather, people learn to cope with it. Since that is something unique to humans.

"The possibility to adapt, change, and understand themselves and others around them," said Shinji.

He had to reassure himself, for if he didn't, he would surely lose his humanity. Even with this angel half of him, he would stay human. He would learnt to cope with it, even if he has seclude himself off from the rest of the world for ten or twenty years, he would control it.

"So I'll believe that everybody can change, just as I believe that I myself can change."

Shaking off these worries, he plunged forward into the depths of Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Kaoru looked up almost as though he could hear these words spoken by Shinji.

Smiling, he turned towards Unit 02 and nodded slightly. Unit 02 suddenly stopped descending in and seemed to hover there, as though waiting for something.

Kaoru meanwhile, turned his back on Unit 02 who he had ordered to wait for Unit 01 and continued into Terminal Dogma. He could feel it now, before it had been brief, but certainly now-

"Looks like Lilith is getting impatient."

* * *

Asuka and Misato stepped out of the tram and hurried across the platform to the other side where Misato pounded the button on the elevator to take them to the upper floors.

'Jeez,' thought Asuka as she looked at her reflection of the elevator door, 'I really look terrible.'

Since Misato had told her to just throw something on before they had left her apartment, she didn't have time to do anything with her hair. Simply put, it looked like a mop after somebody was done cleaning up spilled juice that was bright red.

The door opened then though, so Asuka didn't get any more time to examine her reflection.

They both hurried into the elevator, and Misato hammered on one the button that would take them to the upper floors. Asuka didn't really pay attention to what button she had pressed, as she was leaning against the back wall of the elevator and looking up at the brightly lit ceiling.

'Why did I come along again?' she wondered.

Letting out a low sigh, she tried flattening her hair so that it wouldn't stick up as bad, but without a mirror in front of her, she had no idea how her efforts had faired.

As the door opened, Asuka expected to step out into the command center, but was surprised to see that she was standing in a long hallway with many doors along both walls. The flooring was tiled which made her realize.

"Why are we on this floor? Isn't this part of the Medical District?"

"It is, but I have something to take care of here first," said Misato while shifting her eyes slightly. Asuka however, didn't notice this.

"C'mon, its this way," said Misato encouragingly.

Asuka, not knowing what else to do, shrugged her shoulders and followed Misato without complaint.

After several minutes of walking along the right side of the hallway, Misato paused in front of a door that was slightly open. Asuka looked at the side of the door where names of the patients usually were, but didn't see one.

"Misato...whats this about?"

"Don't worry, this will only take a second," said Misato as she grabbed Asuka's wrist in a vice like grip.

"Misato what are you!"

Misato dragged Asuka into the room quickly and spun her around, making her fall on the bed against the far right wall of the room.

"Misato!"

"Sorry Asuka," said Misato glumly. "But I can't have you in the command center this time...so I need you to stay here until-"

"No! Absolutely not! Why the hell do you think I even came here-"

'No...wait...why did I-'

"I'm sorry Asuka. While I did allow you to come here contrary to what I said before, I can't allow you to be in the command center this time."

"And why is that!" Asuka yelled back at her.

Misato bit her lip in frustration as she stood in the door way, blocking Asuka. In truth, it was because she was unsure how Shinji would react if he saw Asuka at a time like this. She didn't want anything to happen to him because he was shaken about seeing her. Maybe after...he was all done, but not now.

"I just can't!" yelled Misato back at Asuka, startling her so much that she started moving a few seconds to late, during which Misato had already ran out of the room and closed the door, locking it from the outside.

Misato leaned against the door catching her breath as she felt Asuka smiting the door with her fist, screaming at Misato to let her out.

'I did the right thing...right?' thought Misato.

Even now, she wasn't sure, but she couldn't change her mind now.

Pushing herself off the door, she ran back down the hallway where the elevator was, preparing herself for whatever Shinji was dealing with.

Asuka meanwhile, had given up trying to break down the door and her string of cuss words aimed at Misato had long abated. Kneeling in front of the door, her fists were still pressed against the cold surface of the door, but she gave no sign of hitting it again.

"Why...why does everyone keep lying to me?" mumbled Asuka.

Pearly white tears starting falling from her eyes, and fell off her long eyelashes as she closed her eyes in depression.

"Everyone...everyone keeps lying to me...not letting me know whats going on and..."

She slowly unclenched her fists and let her hands slide down the smooth surface of the door. Sliding backwards, she pressed her back against the metal bars of the bed holding the mattress in place, and drew her knees up to her face. Folding her arms across her knees, she buried her face in them and quietly wept.

* * *

Shinji continued descending into Terminal Dogma with Unit 01.

In front of him was Unit 02.

'Damn it,' he thought. 'I don't want to damage Asuka's unit...but I don't think I have a choice.'

Making Unit 01 reach behind itself towards the shoulders holsters in its back, he withdrew the prog knife.

In front of him, Unit 02 mimicked his movements precisely.

'Tch, didn't think this would be very easy.'

Continuing to draw closer to Unit 02 as he continued soaring downward into Central Dogma, he made Unit 01 draw its right arm close to its body with the prog knife in its hand, ready to lash out in a moments notice.

Again mimicking his movements exactly, Unit 02 drew its prog knife close to its body with its right arm.

'Why is it mimicking everything I do?' thought Shinji. 'And where is Kaoru? Shouldn't he be here?'

Before he had any more time to think about this though, Unit 01 and 02 clashed.

The right arm of Unit 02 shot outward from the side of its chest suddenly and darted towards Unit 01, the prog knifes point aimed at Unit 01's chest cavity. Reacting instinctively, Shinji made Unit 01 turn its prog knife on its side, and brought it up in a defensive position in front of its chest. The two prog knifes collided amidst a shower of sparks. Unit 02's prog knife stabbed into Unit 01 prog knife, and Shinji could almost feel the sparks skipping off Unit 01's hand. Gripping the prog knife with the left hand of Unit 01 now, he threw both arms up into the air, sending Unit 02's prog knife spinning out of its grasp, and created an opening in Unit 02's defensives. Letting go of the prog knife in its right hand he continued holding onto it in his left hand and quickly drew Unit 01's fist backwards, and thrust it towards Unit 02's chest. Millimeters away from it though, Unit 02 generated an AT-field.

"AT-field?" mumbled Shinji, "but I didn't think the Eva's were able to create an AT-field without a pilot. Unless it doesn't need to because of Kaoru being an angel..."

Now letting go of the prog knife in Unit 01's left hand, he tossed it away to the side and let it fall at its own pace into Terminal Dogma. Generating Unit 01's AT-field, he slammed it against Unit 02's, destroying it instantly.

'I suppose its to be expected that Unit 02 wont have as strong an AT-field as Unit 01,' thought Shinji before he made Unit 01 pull back its left fist and swung it forward.

Unit 01's fist struck against the left side of Unit 02's jaw, snapping the cheekbone and spraying blood and gore out of Unit 02's mouth. Shinji felt a slight searing in his own hand in response to the force used by Unit 01 to strike Unit 02.

Still in a free fall, Unit 01 grabbed the shoulder holsters of Unit 02 and pushed it downwards, using it as something as a cushion for when the impact with the ground happened. Still seeming to function though, Unit 02 brought both its arms up rather shakily, and gripped Unit 01's throat with the remaining strength left in its body. Feeling the his own throat being constricted because of his synchronization with Unit 01, he oxygen to his brain started being cut off. Knowing he only had a few seconds before he lost consciousness, he briefly thought, 'Sorry about this Asuka...'

With Unit 01's hands still holding the shoulder holsters of Unit 02, like paper being torn down the middle, Unit 02's flesh was rent. The left hand of Unit 01 pulled the left shoulder holster outward as though trying to bend it, while the right hand did likewise on the other holster. Both holsters were pulled outward until the arms weren't able to contain the strain anymore. From the joint connecting the arm to the main body, a small tear opened in which blood gushed forth. Seconds later, both the right and left arm of Unit 02 popped off like a dolls. Blood and gore leaked out of the open wound while large chunks of flesh fell off the discarded arm as they were thrown to the side. Bone stuck out of both sides Unit 02 where the arms had been as small bits of yellow marrow leaked forth. Shinji had to look away at this sight, horrified at what he had done with his own hands. Unit 02's grip on Unit 01 throat slackened as it seemed to fall backwards, relinquishing its grip on Unit 01's throat, enabling the oxygen to flow to Shinji's brain again.

Watching the eyes of Unit 02 lose their green hue was oddly foreboding, as it made him think of how Asuka would react to this. Certainly it would take a while to have Unit 02 repaired.

'No, I shouldn't worry about that. Besides, its better that she never pilots again.'

Ignoring Unit 02 who continued falling beside him, he was just thinking about how he should confront Kaoru when he felt something beside him.

"What the hel-" was all he got out of his mouth before Unit 02's AT-field crashed into Unit 01.

Shinji coughed up blood as he felt as though a cinderblock had just been thrown at his chest. At most he hoped nothing had ruptured inside of him, but it felt as though a few of his ribs had been broken.

Looking at the reactivated Unit 02 who's eyes were radiating a bright green again, Shinji couldn't help but feel slightly afraid. Unit 02 was...different, it simply felt different then a few minutes ago. But it didn't feel like it had anything to do with Kaoru.

Blood continued gushing out of the sides of Unit 02, but it didn't seem to care as its AT-field continued pressing against Unit 01.

'Damn it,' thought Shinji, 'why is Unit 02 acting like this? Its like...it suddenly went berserk.'

Coughing up another fresh pint of blood, Shinji hastily wiped a trickle of it that slowly started cascading down his face. Grabbing the controls of Unit 01, he quickly generated an AT-field, and slowly managed to push Unit 02's AT-field.

'How is it that the AT-field is stronger than before?' wondered Shinji.

He didn't want to damage Unit 02 anymore, but he didn't see any other way of stopping it. Now raising Unit 01's right hand, he clasped it into a fist, and swung it at the gaping hole in Unit 02's right side. Like a cannon being fired, the air from the force of Unit 01's fist forced itself out the other side of Unit 02, spraying blood and tissue everywhere.

Even that didn't seem to stop the rampaging Unit 02.

Its head swiveled left and right without its muscles seeming to work properly, making it wobble from side to side. It seemed that most of its tendons and nerve endings had been severed.

"Stop it already!" shouted Shinji surprising even himself at this sudden outburst of emotions. "You can't even function properly...and I don't want to-"

Unit 02's AT-field shot outward again, but this time it was so weak that Shinji was able to brush it aside with nothing but a quick wave of Unit 01's right hand.

"I don't even know what you're trying to do! Kaoru's not controlling you anymore, and Asuka may not even be able to pilot again! So why are you going to such lengths to try and stop me!"

The only answer he got was Unit 02 feebly trying to create another AT-field.

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "Fine then..."

Raising Unit 01's right arm, he turned his gaze away as he brought it down moments later, intending to slice Unit 02's head clean off, making sure that it ceased functioning. The AT-field generated, and soared towards Unit 02, intending to lop of its head at the neck. But-

"Don't!"

Unit 01 instantly stopped when it heard that voice, because it was Shinji that had stopped it. He froze, and felt a cold sweat emanate throughout his whole body at the sound of that voice. Adrenaline surged through his body...but no, how could he hear that voice of all times.

"Asu...ka?" he whispered towards Unit 02, for he was sure that was where the voice came from.

Unit 02 had stopped moving however, and even though its eyes still seared with that green light, its entire body seemed to be frozen.

"Asuka?" Shinji repeated, a little more force in his voice this time.

Silence still greeted his words, but he thought he realized something then.

"Ahh...I get it...you hate me, don't you?" asked Shinji.

Shinji thought he understood a little. The Evangelions after all had human souls in them, and Unit 02 was no different. Somebody important to Asuka had to be residing inside Unit 02, at least he assumed. If that was true, he could understand how the remaining feelings of this person may hate him.

"For everything I did to her...I'm sorry, and I know that I can't take anything back...but-"

"Don't apologize..."

Shinji's eyes open so wide that they looked as though they might pop out. The voice again, which was almost exactly like Asuka's. But it wasn't...and this time he thought he saw something else. Maybe it was because of him being part angel, or having something to do with his strong synchronization with Unit 01. Or maybe it simply had to do with the relationship him and Asuka had had. But he saw somebody inside Unit 02...no, that wasn't quite right. It was more like he could feel it, even if it was just a brief glimpse.

It was a woman, in her late twenties by the look it. She had short red hair that reached just above her shoulders, while her eyes were a deep blue.

She looked like Asuka in certain aspects and sounded almost exactly alike, but Shinji could also see how they were unlike. But they were still related, because this woman was-

'You're...Asuka's mother...' mouthed Shinji, his voice apparently gone from his surprise.

He didn't get an answer of yes or no though, but it seemed that Unit 02 wasn't able to remain hovering any longer. Its eyes finally lost their green glow, and slowly, Unit 02 started falling backwards, gathering speed as it continued falling.

'Shit,' thought Shinji. 'I can't...'

Wincing slightly as pain coursed through him because of his broken ribs, he forced Unit 01 down towards the falling Unit 02. Throwing Unit 01's right arm forward, he tried grabbing onto on of the legs of Unit 02.

'After what I did,' he thought, 'and after knowing how important this is to Asuka...I can't just let this happen.'

Stretching Unit 01's arm further then it was intended to be stretched, Shinji could feel the strain it put on his own arm as his joints were screaming in pain. With one final lunge, Shinji managed to grab Unit 02's left leg with the right hand of Unit 01. Pulling the bloody and dismembered body towards Unit 01, he wrapped both of Unit 01's arms around its midsection.

Letting out a deep breath, Shinji relaxed his body as Unit 01 continued holding onto Unit 02.

'Why is it...that it almost feels like I'm embracing Asuka?'

He didn't know what it was, but he felt something. Maybe it was a small piece of his lingering feelings towards her, almost completely eclipsed by his angel half. Maybe it was remorse over what he had just done. Maybe it was simply that he was feeling lonely, and in a way, Unit 02 was a piece of Asuka's heart.

"I don't even know anymore," he mumbled, as he continued descending into Terminal Dogma.

* * *

Kaoru all but ignored the slot where a pass card was supposed to be swiped, and tore the door of its hinges with his AT-field, tossing it to the side. Hovering inches off the ground, he made his way into Lilith's chamber.

Before him rested a giant figure nailed to a cross as the Son of God had been. It was purely white except for a purple mask that it wore with an upside down triangle on it. However, the mask had a large crack in it travel from the top all the way down, splitting the triangle in half. The track seemed to be a simple of defiance.

As Kaoru continued hovering forward, looking up at the giant angel that was Lilith a wide smile spread across his face.

"We finally meet Lilith."

Surprisingly, a voice answered him.

"Tabris...or should I call you Adam?"

The voice that was pleasant one-second, changed to hostile the next as it mentioned the hated name of Adam. The voice didn't come from any particular place, it simply existed.

"Call me Tabris," said Kaoru, "since I am not Adam, but simply house the soul of Adam."

"Well you sure are arrogant like he was," scoffed the soul of Lilith. "So? Are you going to follow those geezers, or do you have a mind of your own?"

Kaoru continued smiling, but for a second it seemed to wane slightly.

"I've decided what I want to do on my own, and besides they don't factor into what the angels wanted."

"Still stubbornly following your father I see," said Lilith.

"The same could be said of you."

"I do everything for the Lilim. It is my own decision. Now...why are you here?"

Kaoru raised an eyebrow in surprise at that.

"Shouldn't Shinji be told everything now?"

If Lilith had eyes that could be narrowed, she would have narrowed them.

"That is not up for you to decide Tabris. You're purpose is almost done, for good or bad, I do not know. If you kill Shinji, then I will kill you. He still has a purpose."

"Is that why you manipulated him in everything he did?"

"I simply gave him hints on what choices to make, or showed him things that may change his path."

"Involving yourself with humans was one of the things Adam expressly forbade you to do."

"So I was supposed to just watch them die out, and if I didn't watch Shinji, then who would have? Not Adam certainly."

What Kaoru had guessed seemed to be true. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he asked, "Who is Shinji? He has an angels powers, but has no connection with us."

Lilith was silent for a while before she mouth a few silent words that were only heard by Kaoru.

At her words, Kaoru lowered his head and whispered, "So it is as I thought."

"You were in turmoil over having to kill him were you not? It is because you house the soul of Adam."

"What of your container, were is she?"

"Ayanami Rei? She left a while ago."

"How is it that you are able to move freely without a body? The second container...I didn't feel anything from her, so I had assumed."

"The second was unique. It gained some self recognition to the point that I could not inhabit it for long."

"Is it because of the contact with Shinji?"

"It may be, but it seemed that the DNA it received during the cloning process had a strong sense of self awareness."

"Then this one is-"

"It is new, so the process may be slower. As for why I can move freely without a container, it is because my body is close. I cannot move out of the Tokyo-3 area though."

Kaoru was silent and wasn't smiling anymore. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he looked up at the body of Lilith and asked, "Will you wait for him?"

"No, our meeting wont happen till everything ends. I was waiting for you."

"Then what if I tell him everything. His connection with Adam, that you've been controlling him since his angel powers awoke."

"I won't hesitate to kill you right now. You may be the final angel, but don't forget that I am a being above you, and as I said I still can use Shinji. He is important till the end of everything."

"Then let me ask you this...do you really intend to destroy the Tree of Life and rebuild the earth as yourself at the heart of it."

Lilith was silent for a minute before she said with something akin to a laugh, "Would it change anything if I told you yes or no?"

Kaoru supposed that it didn't really matter, it wasn't after all something that he would get to decide upon.

"So then this is it?" he asked.

"Unless you kill Shinji and we meet again...but I don't think that will happen, and I think you know that yourself. You are an angel gifted with a strong foresight because of Adam's soul, so you should already know how this will end."

Kaoru was silent as Lilith said this, but he did already know how it would end up. He had known since he had been born into this world.

"Then we have nothing else to say to each other," said Kaoru, a trace of anger in his voice.

"No, we do not," replied Lilith.

Almost as though somebody had opened a window in Lilith's chamber, something like an evil spirit felt as though it just vanished. The power of Lilith couldn't be felt anymore; only the body remained.

Kaoru meanwhile continued looking up at the body of Lilith, prolonging the short time he had spent on this planet.

Suddenly, he felt the life go out of Unit 02 and the control he had over it disappear. Looking up towards Central Dogma, he could tell that Shinji was getting closer. Shaking his head, he looked back at the body of Lilith and mumbled, "I can see my own death...so is that a blessing, or a curse? Well...I suppose it could be both. I wonder what Shinji's death will look like, or will he even be able to see it?"

Smiling slightly, he shrugged his shoulders and thought, 'Not much to do now except wait.'

Planting his feet firmly on the ground Kaoru remarked on how weird it always felt using his legs, as he had never needed something so rudimentary to move around before, but that was just how the Lilim were created he supposed.

Sitting down in front of the body of Lilith, he placed his hands behind him and said, "I'm waiting for you Shinji, so hurry up."

* * *

'The Black Moon of Lilith...huh?' thought Shinji as he reached the very depths of Terminal Dogma.

Shinji didn't know how, but as he reached the end of the long shaft where he had fought Unit 02, a large black hole opened up and seemed to have transported him. He had know idea if this was because he was inside an Evangelion, but he guessed that he was in the heart of the Black Moon. All around him was LCL fluid that seemed the stretched on for an eternity.

'I must be close now,' he thought.

He was still holding firmly onto Unit 02, as though his and its life was connected somehow, but now, he had to bid farewell to it, and Asuka's mother. He hoped that it would be recovered in due time...but as for now.

Gently laying it down in the LCL fluid, Shinji watched the red fluid wash around Unit 02's opens wounds for a minute until he turned and looked off in the distance. He could feel Kaoru's AT-field luring him onward...but the AT-field he had felt from earlier seemed to have disappeared. Well, whatever it was, it didn't seem like he'd have to deal with it right now.

Taking a few steps forward then, he suddenly heard static over the intercom and a very grabbled version of Misato's voice starting talking to him.

"Shinji...can...you...hear...me."

"Misato? Yeah I can, but there's a lot of static."

"It seems...that the angels...AT-field...is interfering...somehow. But what is...happening down there?"

"Kaoru seemed to be controlling Unit 02 somehow."

"Are you...still pursuing him?"

"Yeah...I am," replied Shinji rather glumly.

Misato, seeming to pick up the reluctance in his voice said, "Don't think about it...and just do what you think is right."

"I know...but..." mumbled Shinji.

"What happened...to Unit 02?" asked Misato.

"Its..." said Shinji as he turned to see it laying in the LCL fluid. Sighing slightly he said, "Its not in the best shape."

"Well...we can pick it up...later. And Shinji?"

"Huh?"

"Do you know...why the angel is...in Terminal Dogma, because I heard...what happened to Ritsuko."

"Was she confined?" asked Shinji.

"Yes she was, so I assume...that it has something to do you. What exactly is...in Terminal Dogma that an angel...is searching for."

"I'm sorry Misato, but I can't answer that right now. Ritsuko may tell you if you ask but-"

"It would be impossible...right now. They have her locked up in a...holding cell for the time being. Thats why I needed to ask...you."

Shaking his head, Shinji said, "As I said Misato, I can't answer that right now. Maybe later, but in truth, I don't know what may happen to me after this. So I can't make any promises."

Silence over the voice intercom for a minute before Misato said, "Okay...I understand. Please be...careful."

"Thank you Misato..."

With that, Shinji cut the communication channel between them and continued walking forward towards Kaoru.

Misato meanwhile slammed both palms of her hands onto one of the keyboards that littered the command center of Central Dogma. Beside her, Fuyutsuki watched in anticipation of what she may do next. Gendo had given him order that if Major Katsuragi were to start an investigation, then she was to be detained immediately, and while Fuyutsuki did not like the order, he did not have any choice but to follow it if need be.

"We should just let Shinji see this through Major," said Fuyutsuki in a calm voice.

Misato threw him a dirty look before turning back to the monitor screen. She had no idea that Terminal Dogma reached that far under the Geofront. According to the computers, Shinji was well below the final levels, so where was he exactly. She knew Ritsuko had showed him something, something that apparently the commander was not too pleased with, but what was it?

"Yes...I suppose there isn't anything else for us to do but wait," said Misato standing up straight.

* * *

Shinji broke through the wall that he knew Kaoru was behind and waiting for him. LCL fluid poured out of the large gap from Lilith's chamber as Unit 01 walked in.

Though it was only Shinji's second time seeing the body of Lilith, he showed the least amount of interest towards this strange being, and instead, directed his full attention towards the person sitting in front of it.

"I see you made it Shinji-kun," said Kaoru with a wide smile across his face. Shinji however, chose to remain silent.

Standing up, Kaoru spread his arms outward as though he was preparing to hug somebody and said, "Don't be silent like that Shinji-kun."

"I don't think I have anything else to say to you," said Shinji.

"Then will you kill me?"

"I," Shinji hesitated, "I don't know."

Kaoru watched before a minute until he sighed and said, "The Lilim really are indecisive."

"Then is it so easy to kill someone for you!" yelled Shinji.

"Of course," replied Kaoru, "it is as simple as moving my right arm."

"That is not me."

"Then you will not kill me?"

"I don't know damn it!"

"Would it make any difference if I told you I wanted to die?"

"Wha...Kaoru!"

"Would it make you feel better if you knew you were fulfilling my wish."

"But its still killing."

"But its not indiscriminate. It is something that I want you to do."

"You're not serious."

"And if I am?"

"Then I feel sorry for you," said Shinji.

"Haha! Well said Shinji-kun. It seems that no matter what, your angel half will ultimately be kept in check by your purer human self."

"...What do you mean?"

"I mean precisely this. Even if your angel half completely takes you over, at heart, you will still remain a human. Given the circumstances, it is rather surprising that you are able to remain so after everything that has happened to you. You have a strong recognition of who you are. I don't think I have to worry about you anymore."

"Meaning?" asked Shinji.

"Both Adam and Lilith want to use you, each of them have there own reasons of course. Myself...hmmm, you could almost say that I am following neither now. I simply want to see what choices you make."

"Why do you seem so interested in me?"

"Why? Maybe its because of the human body that I've become accustomed to. Maybe its because I lived with humans and got to know them better. Maybe its simply because of you. I don't really know to tell you the truth."

"I kinda understand why Lilith wants to use me...but why Adam? I mean...I'm human after all and-"

"Only part human," interrupted Kaoru. "Don't forget that you have angel DNA in you, and that is why he wants you, because you are at the same time angel and human."

"But why, and how did I even become this way?"

Kaoru was silent, debating whether he should tell Shinji about his connection with Adam.

"I still don't know the answer to that," lied Kaoru.

"Then why did you come here," asked Shinji.

"To see Lilith of course," said Kaoru as he pointed behind himself

Shinji looked at the giant body of Lilith that Kaoru was pointing at and frowned.

"So what...you were just talking to it...and was it talking back?"

"In a manner of speaking...yes," replied Kaoru with a slight smile.

Silence engulfed the chamber of Lilith for a minute before Shinji asked-

"What will Seele do about this?"

Shrugging, Kaoru said, "Kill me first most likely, then attack this place. They still wants to become the gods of this world."

"And what of my father?"

"Gendo Ikari? Well, he wants to be reunited with his loved one."

"My mother?"

"I did not say that, but essentially...yes."

Shinji hesitated for a second before he asked, "So then..."

"I will die soon, either by your hand or not."

"But you still want to live."

"Everything being wants to live and is afraid of death, it is no different for me. Shinji-kun, I am an angel, something which is the enemy of all humanity; your enemy."

"Then...you were serious before?"

"If given the choice, I would prefer to die by your hand."

"I won't kill you Kaoru!"

Kaoru smiled then, but it wained as though he was in pain. Sighing, he said, "Then I'll just have to kill you instead Shinji-kun."

Half a second later, Kaoru AT-field erupted, slicing into Unit 01's chest cavity.

At the same time, a large slash appeared on Shinji's own chest, spilling blood into the entry plug and mixing with the LCL fluid.

Lowering his right hand which he had raised upwards as he generated his own AT-field, Kaoru said, "Fighting you while your inside that Evangelion Unit is rather unfair though, so I think its better if we did this while facing each other. And besides, its time the Lilim learned how to live without the Evangelions."

At his very words, Unit 01 shuddered violently, and next second, the entry plug shot out behind Unit 01's head at the base of the neck. Teetering in place for a minute, Unit 01 fell backwards as it didn't have a pilot controlling it anymore, and with a loud splash, fell into the gallons of LCL fluid that floated around Lilith's chamber. The entry plug landed in the LCL fluid likewise, and within moments, washed upon the island thanks to the waves created by Unit 01's fall. Kaoru smiled widely as he walked towards the entry plug, but stopped as he felt Shinji's own AT-field ripping through the metal of the entry plug.

A square chunk of metal popped off the entry plug, sending it flying across the small island and out stepped Shinji. From chest high, almost all the way to his feet, a large patch of red seemed to have been painted onto his plug suit. Of course this was his own blood, but it didn't seem that it was flowing anymore. Wincing slightly as he took a few steps away from Unit 01's entry plug, he looked up at Kaoru who stood before him.

Smiling slightly, Kaoru said, "It seems that you regenerated rather quickly, quicker than I had expected actually."

Shinji winced slightly at Kaoru's words. It seemed that flesh wounds healed quickly, but his broken ribs that he had suffered earlier were still paining him.

"Kaoru...you..." wheezed Shinji.

"Yes Shinji-kun?" asked Kaoru as he smiled back, simultaneously raising his right arm.

Shinji blinked several times, not believing what he was seeing. Opening his mouth in another attempt to persuade Kaoru to stop what he was doing, Shinji was cut off as Kaoru's arm came crashing down through the air. Shinji dove to his left just in time as Kaoru's AT-field ripped apart the stone flooring, spewing it up and into the air so that rubble rained down around Shinji. Effortlessly generating his own AT-field, Shinji split the larger pieces of debris, while blocking the small pieces.

"Not bad Shinji-kun," said Kaoru as he continued smiling at him.

"Kaoru...why are you doing this!"

"I think the time for discussion is over with Shinji-kun, and besides, you said it yourself. 'I don't think I have anything else to say to you.'"

Dashing forward, Kaoru swung his right arm in front of him, generating his AT-field and formed it into a large square. Still utterly confused at what was happening when a few moments ago it seemed as everything would be glossed over, Shinji continued sitting on the floor, watching the raw mass of energy soaring towards him.

'Did I really think that everything would turn out okay though?' he wondered. 'Was it ever possible for me and Kaoru to be anything other then enemies? I don't know...but I feel that at another place, and another time...we probably could have been frien-'

Shinji's right fist ground against the stone flooring, splintering the knuckles and making blood flow out of the split skin.

"God Damn it Kaoru!"

Standing up promptly, he ignored his aching ribs and the new throb in his right hand, and quickly generated his own AT-field and formed it into the same square like shape as Kaoru's. Throwing it at Kaoru's AT-field, the two collided against each other with a sound like a cannon being fired directly into someones ear.

The air pressure exploded as the two AT-fields met, creating such a powerful gust of wind that Shinji thought that he was going to be blown backwards. The ripples that had finally subsided because of Unit 01's fall lit up again, as the LCL fluid crashed against the concrete walls of Lilith's chamber. Seismic waves shook the very foundations of Terminal Dogma, traveling up as far as the Geofront as well as parts of Tokyo-3. Inside the command center of Nerv, glasses, plant vases, and other assortment of breakable objects were in threat of falling over. Misato herself had to clutch onto a chair for support.

"What the hell is going on down there!" she shouted.

For an answer, you would have had to have been there to believe it, for no telling of a story could have left quite the impact as watching these two people clash.

Kaoru's AT-field was the stronger, and Shinji knew that, but he didn't care anymore. He simply wanted to punched Kaoru with everything he had, not caring about what the state of his own body looked at the end of it all.

Orange sparks surged around the center of where the two AT-fields had met, as though two steel beams were being ground together. Shinji gritted his teeth so hard that he wore out the enamel on them as he tried pushing Kaoru's AT-field back at him...but to no avail.

Moments later however, Kaoru's AT-field completely disappeared. Shinji, caught of balance unknowingly dissipated his own AT-field, leaving him to look across the strange battlefield at Kaoru who was standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"Kaoru...lets just stop this! Why does one of us have to kill each other!" yelled Shinji.

Kaoru wasn't smiling anymore, and if anything, he seemed to be radiating a killing intent that Shinji had never felt before.

"I thought I told you Shinji-kun using your own words, that I have no intention of talking anymore."

A cone like AT-field appeared in front of Kaoru similar to that of a drill. Pointing it directly at Shinji it charged at him as though Kaoru had thrown it like a javelin.

Shinji, seeing this clear act of hostility, and coupled with the killing intent he had felt from Kaoru moments before, lost all hope of ever stopping this battle.

'I guess he never intended it to be any other way,' thought Shinji as he generated an exact replica of Kaoru's AT-field.

Waiting a brief moment in hopes that Kaoru would stay his attack, Shinji shook his head then in resignation to what it was. Throwing his own AT-field at Kaoru's AT-field, he waited for the half second it would take for them to reach each other, and the ensuing explosion and attempt to block Kaoru's AT-field. In truth, he felt like the entire thing was hopeless. He could tell how much more powerful Kaoru was compared to him, but he had always known that.

Nothing of the sort happened.

Shinji blinked once, just as he saw Kaoru's cone like AT-field completely shattering as his own AT-field collided against. Standing motionless at what had just happened, he missed the brief instance were he could have corrected his AT-field.

Half a second later, Shinji blinked again, as his AT-field pierced Kaoru's chest cavity, exploding his innards out the back of his body in a red haze.

Two blinks from Shinji's eyes, and all this happened. Still standing motionless, he watched as Kaoru's body started falling backwards as bloody liquid fell out of the gaping hole that was almost five inches wide in diameter.

Taking one step forward, then two, then three and four, he was soon sprinting towards Kaoru's falling body.

"KAORU!" Shinji screamed with everything he had as Kaoru's body hit the stone cold floor.

Skidding to a halt next to the battered body of Nagisa Kaoru, Shinji kneeled next to him in a pool of blood.

"Kaoru...why did you...what the hell did you!" shouted Shinji.

Coughing up blood, Kaoru's normal smile couldn't help but resurface as he looked back at Shinji, "I knew that I couldn't physically kill you because of who I am...because of the soul of Adam that I house, so I had to make you think I was serious about killing you."

"But why die anyway!"

"Because it is better to die like this. Better to die by your hand then Seele's, or Lilith's."

Shinji had no idea where Lilith fit in, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Can't you just regenerate?" asked Shinji, "I'm able to...so shouldn't you be also."

"You actually hit my core Shinji-kun," said Kaoru as he pointed towards a spot on his body. Shinji looked down at the gaping hole in Kaoru's chest and saw that he was pointed at where his heart was supposed to be. What lay there now looked like a pummeled piece of meet you would see at a grocery store. Shinji couldn't help but feel sick at this thought, as bile threatened to surge up his throat.

"My core is my heart," said Kaoru. "Rather ironic that no matter how powerful humans get, they can still die so easily."

"Isn't there anything I can-"

"I don't want you to even try. Its better this way as I said."

"But why? Why did you dissipate your AT-field at the last second!"

"Shinji...you are gifted with visions are you not."

Shinji didn't see what this had to do with his question, but he nodded anyway.

"Like you, I also can see things...my own death for instance I saw. This...is something that have known for a long time, that I would die like this."

"And you didn't try to change it!"

"I saw no reason that I should try."

"You say that you don't follow Lilith and Adam, but in truth, you can't escape from them can you!" yelled Shinji.

"No, I suppose it is the truth," replied Kaoru. "I am an angel, born from Adam, and no matter what, I have to follow his will, but because I house the soul of Adam, I have more freedom then the other angels. I am more free to think, but in the end I am still an angel. The reason I was able to see my own death is because of the soul of Adam...I was also able to see the deaths of my many sisters and brothers, but was not allowed to interfere with any of them."

"I don't understand you..."

"You are human...so you would not. Humans are grossly different from angels. They follow no one, not even Lilith, there creator. They shape their own futures with their hands, something the angels are incapable of doing. In a way, I think I felt envious of that. But such is the destiny of Adam and Lilith's children.

Kaoru paused here as he coughed up more blood.

"Shinji-kun...I have said it before many times, but you and I are alike. Even back when I first met you as your subconscious I felt that we were alike, but I found out that it is only a feeling that the soul of Adam gives me. In truth, you and I are nothing alike. More so, I should say that you and Adam are alike."

Shinji blinked several times at the his strange statement.

"Me and Adam alike? How? Isn't he a being that far surpasses us mere humans," said Shinji.

"Yes but-"

Kaoru suddenly winced in pain as his right arm seemed to disintegrate on the spot. Shinji's eyes widened as he saw this, but Kaoru brushed it off as nothing saying, "This body is starting to decompose. Nobody called Nagisa Kaoru ever existed in the first place, so its only fitting that I should die in this way."

Looking up at the body of Lilith towering over him, he frowned briefly as he thought, 'Can you see me now Lilith? Are you pleased with the way things turned out? The last of the angels is dying, so Seele only needs to be dealt with and then-'

Kaoru's left arm suddenly disappeared, as the particles of LCL fluid that created his body evaporated into the air.

"Ahhh...this really sucks," he said, "dying does suck after all."

Blinking several times, he half expected tears to start to well up at the corners of his eyes, but of course no such thing happened.

"Kaoru...I," started Shinji.

"Don't apologize," sighed Kaoru, as both his legs started to disappear

Silence engulfed the two of them as time passed, though all the while, Kaoru continued disappearing.

"Hey Shinji," said Kaoru after a few minutes had passed. All that was left was his neck and head now.

"Hmmm?"

"Be careful about Lilith."

"...Why?"

"She is dangerous, and even I cannot fully understand what she means to accomplish."

"Is this Adam...or Kaoru?"

"A little of both I suppose. I can understand some of it, but the soul of Adam shuts other parts out. Bit annoying really."

"You know...you're starting to sound like a human."

"I am? ...Well, I guess thats what death will do to you."

Slowly his neck started to disappear.

"Kaoru...you never finished what you said before about me and Adam being alike."

"I didn't? No, I suppose I didn't," replied Kaoru. "It was something that I shouldn't have said in the first place.

His neck disappeared.

"So...are you going to finish what you were saying earlier?"

"I suppose. You and Adam...huh? Even I still have a hard time believing it to be honest."

"...What?"

His chin started to disappear.

"That you and Adam are connected in a way that seems almost impossible. A kind of connection that only a husband and wife could fully understand."

"Husband...and wife?"

"Your mother-"

His bottom lip started to disappear, making it increasingly difficult for him talk. Soon his entire mouth would be gone and he wouldn't be able to speak.

"My mother what!" shouted Shinji. "What about my mom!"

The speed at which Kaoru was disappearing at suddenly seemed to increase, either due to it being the last part of his body that remained, or because of what he was telling Shinji. But Kaoru felt a slight shift in Adam's soul then, almost as though it didn't want Kaoru to speak those words.

"In truth...Adam is your-"

Kaoru mumbled those incomprehensible words to Shinji, lost only to the ears of Shinji.

Moments later, the fourth child, known as Nagisa Kaoru vanished from the world. But not before he whispered, "Cya Shinji-kun," to a boy long ago lost in his own thought.

Shinji remained motionless long after the last angel disappeared, but eventually he did move...and when he did-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Shinji's AT-field erupted around him.

* * *

Misato stood in front of the door she had locked Asuka in those many hours ago, which in truth felt like years ago.

She was hesitant on how she should proceed. She felt ashamed for what she had done to Asuka, and had even been tempted to have somebody else let her out, but knew that it had to be her. She had betrayed Asuka's trust, and she was probably the only person that Asuka would trust right now. Asuka didn't like other people to know what she was thinking, didn't want other people penetrating her armor, because underneath it all she was simply a confused and scared fifteen year old girl. Misato understood all this, so she had to correct what she had done, and right now, if Asuka were to ask her anything, she was afraid she might just tell.

Unlocking the door with a 'click' she grasped the door knob and turned it, throwing open the door and revealing the person inside the room.

Asuka was laying on the hospital bed with her back propped against the wall and a pillow behind her back. Both her legs were drawn up to her chest, while her arms were wrapped around her legs. As she titled her head upwards away from her arms which her head had previously been buried in, Misato couldn't help but notice the lines on her face which suggested she had recently been crying. Misato felt even more ashamed for what she had done.

Walking over to the bed, she sat down on the far corner of it and said, "Asuka...I'm sorry for what I did...and-"

"I don't care," said Asuka bluntly and without emotion.

"You don't?"

"You obviously had something that you had to attend to and I couldn't be there for some reason."

Misato blinked a few times, surprised at how easy going Asuka was about the whole thing.

"Asuka...are you sure-"

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine," repeated Asuka now getting off the bed and throwing her arms above her head, stretching her stiff body. Turning around towards Misato, she said, "So are we done now?"

Misato hesitated for a second, but didn't see any reason she should keep this from Asuka.

"Not quite yet. I sent an evac team down into Terminal Dogma to retrieve Shinji, but it seems that the commander wanted a team supervised by himself sent down. I'm just waiting to find out...how Shinji is."

"What happened?" asked Asuka. "Earlier there was like...an earthquake or something."

"I don't know for certain, but most likely what we felt was the clash of two very strong AT-fields."

"So...he's okay then?" asked Asuka after a few seconds pause.

Misato guessed that she meant Shinji and nodded her head saying, "I don't know if he is perfectly fine, but I would like to hope so."

"...I see," mumbled Asuka as she turned her head away from Misato and looked out the door that Misato hadn't bothered to close.

After a moments pause, Misato asked, "Would you like to see him...if possible, I mean?"

Misato had expected Asuka to fly off the handle and start shouting obscenities, but Asuka's reaction was not something she had expected.

Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Asuka titled her head from side the side as she thought about the prospect of seeing that idiot.

"I don't...know," she finally said. "Maybe...why? Are you going to talk to him?"

"I plan on it, yeah," replied Misato. "If you want to come..." Misato trailed off then. Was what she was proposing really a smart idea?

"Okay...I'll see the idiot..." mumbled Asuka as she looked down at her feet. My the hell was her heart beating as though she had just ran a mile?

"Great, we should get going then. The team should be returning with him shortly so we can just-"

Misato's cell phone rang.

Looking at it rather apprehensively she pulled it off its clip where it hung on her pants. Looking at the number briefly, she flipped it open and said, "This is Major Katsuragi."

Asuka watched Misato listen to the person on the other line tell her several things, while all the while, Misato's face slowly became paler until it was the color of paper.

"What was that about," asked Asuka the second Misato had closed her cell phone.

Misato turned towards her, biting down on her lower lip in the process.

"That was the vice-commander," she eventually said after a moments pause.

Asuka waited for Misato to tell her what the phone call was about, but when she didn't, Asuka took matters into her own hands.

"So what was the call about? Is something wrong?"

Misato hesitated for a second before she said, "I don't know...but the team that was sent to retrieve Shinji hasn't been heard from and we can't contact them. The vice commander thinks that the angel might have killed them."

"The angel? But that would mean that-"

"That Shinji may have lost...but I don't think so...I think Shinji may have...done something to them."

"Like what?" asked Asuka.

Misato simply continued staring at Asuka, but Asuka took that to mean-

"He wouldn't...have killed them, would he?"

Shaking her head, Misato said, "I don't know. If he did...its because he learned something while in Terminal Dogma that drove him to killing. I don't believe that he could truly kill a human though."

"He told me he had before," mumbled Asuka.

Misato didn't know about the brief conversation Asuka and Shinji when they had first talked again after Asuka had lost her memories, so she was rather surprised that Asuka had known about that time.

"...He told you about that?"

"It was more like he briefly mentioned it, but I didn't press him about it," said Asuka.

"Its something that he deeply regrets," muttered Misato.

"So now what?" asked Asuka.

"I'm going back to the command center and you're coming with me. From there, we have the best chance of finding Shinji on any one of the security cameras in Nerv."

"Okay," said Asuka as she nodded and followed Misato out the door.

However, in truth, what Asuka had said earlier about being fine was a lie. She did care, and was still hurt by what Misato had said and done. Everybody continued lying to her, and even now, she wasn't sure if what Misato had said was entirely truthful. From what she had gleaned at Misato's surprised expression when she had told Misato about Shinji briefly mentioning he had killed someone, she could tell that Misato knew what circumstances had led up to him killing whoever it was. But Asuka didn't tell Misato about any of this, because she didn't want to be lied to again, so she kept these bottled up feelings inside of her. And yet-

'Why is it, that whenever _he_ lies to me, it hurts worst of all?' thought Asuka.

She didn't know...but she intended to find out.

* * *

A door opened and Shinji stepped in.

The door in question led into the commanders office...Gendo Ikari's.

Gendo stood behind his desk and looked out of the window directly behind his desk. The entirety of the Geofront was revealed before him.

As Shinji started walking forward, his footsteps echoed off the walls. It seemed that they were the only two people in the office.

"Is that you Shinji?" asked Gendo when Shinji's foot steps came to a halt.

"Yeah, it is," whispered Shinji.

Gendo turned around to see Shinji standing in front of his desk with his hands at his side.

"Why have you come here?"

"You should already know that...father..." mumbled Shinji.

Gendo gazed at him for a moment before he asked, "What did the angel tell you?"

"Enough to know that you've been lying to me all this time!" yelled Shinji, slamming his fist on the wooden desk, denting it. His eyes still glowed blood red.

Gendo who hadn't even flinched looked Shinji in the eye and asked, "What does it really change?"

"It changes everything damn it!" shouted Shinji. "And you knew about it the entire fucking time!"

"If you want to blame somebody, blame your mother."

"Don't you dare drag her name into this you bastard! She was...she was..."

Shinji just didn't know anymore. Why did his mother do such a thing?

"Are you going to cooperate with me? Or do I have to confine you for the time being?"

"As if you could confine me if you tried. I already dealt with the people you sent to capture me. I assume that you expected something like this ahead of time so you had people ready when-"

Shinji sensed movement behind him and turned as two armed guards with submachine guns stepped into the office with there guns pointed towards him. Without even so much as a passing glance at them, he swung his right arm down, slicing the barrels off both guns. Simultaneously the guards pulled the trigger, but the bullets exploded as they reached the sliced of gun barrel, shattering the guns instantly. The guards stood there in surprise at the boy across the room from them who's blood red eyes seemed to pierce through them.

As Shinji looked back at Gendo though, it seemed that he was legitimately surprised at the current situation.

"So your angel self has fully awakened it seems, but you still retain your human mind."

"I think I can thank Kaoru for that," said Shinji.

"I see," said Gendo as he placed his hands together.

Shinji watched as he slowly removed the glove on his right hand. As Shinji saw the disfigured hand that was underneath the glove, his face showed nothing but disgust.

As Gendo flexed his right hand, Shinji asked, "Is that the effect of having my DNA transplanted into you?"

Gendo smiled slightly as he replied, "Dr. Akagi didn't leave anything out did she. So am I assuming she also told you about Rei and the dummy plugs."

Shinji's scowl was all the answer he needed.

"Then that saves me the trouble of questioning her at least."

"What I don't understand is why though...why my DNA?" asked Shinji.

"I'm surprised you haven't been able to figure that one out yourself...after all, how else was I supposed to get Adam's DNA...your true father."

At these words, Shinji lost control of himself and the willpower it was taking him to not strike the man in front of him. Charging forward, he brought back his right hand intending to hit Gendo, but instead, his fist collided against something that felt like a solid wall.

'What the hell?' he thought.

A flicker of orange.

"I was rather surprised when I could do this also," said Gendo as he brandished his right arm, as though showing off his newly created AT-field.

"You can...create a visible AT-field?"

"Yes, but it isn't on par with yours. My body is constantly rejected that DNA of yours that I injected myself with. Eventually, this body will be destroyed because of the strain that is being put on it, but by then, it wont really matter."

"You bastar-"

Gendo's AT-field smashed against the top of Shinji's head knocking him out immediately.

"Put him in a holding cell," said Gendo gesturing towards the two guards as he turned away from the unconscious Shinji laying on the floor. "And give it maximum security. I don't want him breaking out."

The guard hesitated for a second, knowing that what he had witnessed here today was not something to be spoken openly...and yet...

"Understood sir," the guard said as he hoisted Shinji onto his shoulders. He couldn't understand half of what had been said, but he knew that this kid was in deep shit.

As the guards passed out of the room, Gendo put the white glove back on his hand as cold sweat passed down his face. He wouldn't be able to use his AT-field many more times, since it eroded his body all the more quickly. But even so...

'Only Seele has the power to stop me, and even now it is becoming to late. I hold all the cards,' thought Gendo.

Not once did he take into account what Lilith had planned.

* * *

"What did you say!" shouted Misato into the receiver of her phone.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to report it," said the guard who had taken Shinji away from Gendo's office hours ago.

"What do you mean he broke into the commanders office!" shouted Misato again. Beside her, Asuka was stock-still with her eyes wide, not believing what she was hearing.

"Just what I said. The commander gave us orders to wait outside his office and if we saw the third child enter, then we were to wait five minutes before entering it ourselves."

"I don't care about that part. What they talked about! Repeat what they talked about damn it!"

"Well, I didn't understand a lot of it. There was talk about the AT-field thing, which I sorta understood, but then the commander seemed to create one, and everything just became confusing afterwar-"

"Tell me again! What did the commander say about Adam!"

The guard paused here for a minute before he replied, "Something about Adam being the third child's father, which didn't make much sense to me but-"

Misato ended the call here, gaining the knowledge that she had needed. Biting on her finger nails, she ran over what she had just heard. 'The commander has an AT-field? Shinji is Adam's son? It doesn't make any God damn sense!'

"Umm...Misato, is anything wrong?" asked Asuka hesitantly.

Misato had momentarily forgotten about Asuka. Turning towards her, she realized how much danger she was suddenly in. If the commander somehow found out that she knew this information a cell with her name on it would be prepared. And then there was the matter of Asuka. Should she tell Asuka about it? It didn't seem like a good idea but what choice did she have. Both Shinji and Ritsuko were confined and she couldn't trust Fuyutsuki because of his connection with the commander. But if she was in trouble, then Asuka would certainly be also. The commander couldn't have failed to notice the bond that Shinji and Asuka had shared, and even though Asuka couldn't remember those times, and Shinji didn't feel anything for her anymore, he could still use Asuka as leverage.

Biting down on her lips, she grabbed Asuka's hand and dragged her towards the elevators so they could get away from the exquisite ears of the other personnel in the command center.

"Misato...what are you?" asked Asuka.

"Keep quiet...I'll tell you in a minute once the others can't here us."

Dragging Asuka into the elevator with her, she punched the button that would take them to the tram station so they could make there way back to where the car was parked. Misato wasn't taking any chances about being held up here. She had failed Shinji and Asuka too many times before, but she wasn't about to let that continue.

As the elevator doors closed, Asuka shook off Misato's grip and backed away from her.

"Misato whats going damn it! That phone call earlier and-"

"Hang on Asuka," replied Misato.

Sweeping the elevator with her eyes, she didn't see any cameras, but could only hope that there weren't any listening devices.

"Okay...Asuka, what I'm about to tell you can not leave this elevator, nor can we talk about it ever again.

"Misato, I've never seen you like this before. What happ-"

"Asuka, your word!"

Asuka opened her mouth in anger, but closed it when she saw the serious look on Misato's face. Seriously...what could make Misato change this much in such a short time...unless it had something to do with that idio-

"Fine, I won't say a word."

"Thank you," said Misato.

Not even two minutes later, Asuka felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the elevator, as Misato told Asuka what she had heard from the guard.

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes groggily in his cell, and for a moment forgot where he was. But as the confrontation with somebody who he had for fifteen years thought was his father came crashing back to him, he sighed and rolled over onto his side.

The room he was in was completely black and didn't seem to even have a toilet in it. His hands were cuffed behind his back, but did they really think that would stop him. Breaking the cuffs easily with his AT-field, he stood up and walked over to what he guessed was a door.

Now that he was fully awakened as an angel, he could feel everybody's AT-field no matter how small.

"Seems as though they posted guards outside my door," whispered Shinji as he sensed two people with automatic weapons stationed just on either side of the door. He could easily break out and escape, but what would be the point really. And right now, he knew that it wasn't just himself, but also Asuka and Misato that were in trouble, so right now, he elected to do nothing.

'That bastard still needs me, otherwise he wouldn't have kept me alive,' thought Shinji. He from now on would refer to Gendo as 'that bastard.'

Sitting back down on the cold floor, he rolled over onto his side and thought briefly how he had felt when Kaoru had told him that his father was not Gendo Ikari, but rather Adam. He was shocked of course, so that was probably why he wasn't able to control himself very well. The team sent to retrieve him didn't seem to have any life threatening injuries at least, but Shinji still hated himself for what he had done.

He wasn't sure how he felt, and even felt more confused about his mother. Had she known about Adam? Almost certainly, she was involved with the original contact experiment after all. But for some reason, deep down, he had almost expected something like this. It certainly explained everything about him. And he thought how he would have reacted earlier, if he had known about this. He would have reacted differently, and probably been consumed by hatred, leading him down a different path with different choices.

'I am the child of a human and a...well, whatever Adam is I suppose. What does that make me? I'm neither human...nor really an angel.'

'Does it matter?' asked a voice in his head that sounded oddly like Asuka. 'You are who are...Shinji Ikari, nobody else.'

"You're right," voiced Shinji openly into the empty room.

Placing his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes and thought, 'I may as well try to sleep for a while. God knows that they'll be running more tests on me then normal now.'

Rolling over onto his other side, Shinji quickly fell into a deep sleep that he had not felt since he had left Misato's apartment.

* * *

**SOOOOOO...DID ANYBODY SEE THAT COMING?**


	27. Calm

**I've been busy so this took longer then I intended. Anyways, after everything that came out in the last few chapters, I got back to the basics of ShinjiXAsuka, though its not very...endearing.**

* * *

Asuka didn't know what to think anymore.

Back in Misato's apartment, she lay on her bed with one arm draped over her forehead. The moment they had gotten home, Misato had immediately drunken five cans of beers, and promptly passed out on the kitchen floor. Asuka didn't even want to think what the kitchen would smell like in the morning when she woke up, that is, if she would ever fall asleep.

It was currently half past midnight, and with no sign of sleep coming to her any time soon, Asuka sat up on the edge of the bed, and grabbed a small case on her bedside table. Opening it slowly, she looked at the two earrings set inside the soft velvet. She wasn't sure why, but she was afraid that they would disappear one day if she didn't constantly look at them. Maybe that was a desire to know where she had gotten them from though. Closing the lid, she let out a soft sigh through half closed lips, set the case back on the table, and flopped back down on her futon. Rolling over onto her stomach, she punched her pillow in anger.

She kept thinking about everything Misato had told her in the elevator, which really hadn't been much. Misato had told her what she had heard on the phone, about the commander having an AT-field and Shinji's father not being the commander, but in actuality Adam. Then Misato had said something along the lines of-

"Asuka, when we get out of the elevator, I want you to stick close to me and don't talk to anybody, even you recognize them."

Asuka had asked, "Why?" but Misato only said.

"Its better if we get back to my apartment for the time being."

Asuka had looked at Misato's face then, and saw something she never expected to see before.

Fear.

Misato was fearful about what would happen if it was found out that she knew about these things. Asuka knew that now after thinking about it for some hours. So now she was in the same boat, having to worry about being called in for questioning. Asuka honestly thought that Misato was overreacting a great deal. Sure, she was rather startled when she heard everything, but she didn't think that they would be sent to prison or something just for knowing those things.

And yet, she couldn't fall asleep.

'I'm not worried in the slightest, so why the hell can't I fall asleep?' she wondered.

'You're not worried about _yourself_,' whispered a small voice in her head, 'but thats not to say you aren't worried about_ somebody_.'

'Thats stupid,' replied at once Asuka, 'why the hell would I be worried about that idiot?'

'...I never said anything about him.'

Even though it was technically herself that she was talking to, her face still managed to turn a faint shade of pink.

'Ridiculous...thats-'

'Precisely true,' said the voice.

Asuka immediately sat bolt upright, banishing the annoying voice in the process. Shaking her head, her hair whipped around her face, making it more messy then it already was.

"Damn it," she groaned as she stood up and walked towards her door. "I need some air."

Sliding the door open, she glanced towards the kitchen. The only thing she could see of Misato was her feet; the rest of her body was concealed by the kitchen counters.

Failing to conceal the looked of disgust that passed over her face at Misato demeanor, she turned away from this sight and walked towards the front door. Unfortunately, this apartment didn't have a balcony or veranda of any sorts, so if somebody wanted air, they had to go out the front door and stand on the cement walkway in front of the apartment. At least it had a metal railing that you could lean against though.

Misato's apartment was five levels above the ground floor, so when Asuka went outside and leaned over the railing, it was a good five stories down to the bottom.

Throwing her arms over the railing, she pressed her full weight against it, putting her faith in it that it wouldn't break, and breathed in a lungful of air. Letting it out in one deep breath, she looked up at the night sky.

'Don't know what I expected,' she thought as she looked up at the black sky. The stars of course were impossible to see because of the bright lights of Tokyo-3.

Turning around now, she pressed her back against the railing, placing both arms on either sides of the railing and titled her head upward. If she leaned back too far, she would fall head over heels and go crashing to the bottom, but that wasn't something she was really thinking.

"How in the hell can I be worried about that idiot right now?" she asked audibly. "He's most likely in some cell right now anyway like Misato said, so its not like I can even do anything about it. But even so-AHHHHH," she yelled in frustration.

'Stop thinking about him...right think of something else...umm...breakfast tomorrow. Right! I'm going to have Misato take me out some place tomorrow for penance.'

But thinking about food only made her remember the fried rice that he had made, and if anything, this only brought her thoughts back to him stronger then before.

'I can still remember the taste,' she thought miserably, 'and why does my hear beat like crazy every time I think of him?'

"Arghhhh!" she yelled up towards the sky. "This is so annoying, I just want to see him so I can punch his stupid face in and then forget about him. Idiot!"

As though this settled the matter, Asuka pushed off against the metal railing and stepped towards the front door of the apartment. Turning around one final time to look up at the sky, she thought she glimpsed the North Star, brightest of all stars in the night sky. Smiling slightly, she thought, 'In a way, its just like me...all alone with nobody around.'

But that wasn't true, because even if they couldn't be seen, billions of star littered the sky. Asuka however at this time truly felt the loneliness of her life, because it was true that she had nobody around her. Even Misato would eventually fade out of her life as time passed.

"I don't need anyone," she whispered. "I fight only for myself, and live only for myself. I don't need anyone..."

But wasn't she just lying to herself, just as everybody else was lying to her?

Ignoring this question, she walked towards the front door and silently opened it. Even though it was unlikely, she didn't want to risk waking Misato up. She was sure to berate her about leaving the apartment so late at night.

Walking into her own bedroom, she closed the door deafly behind herself, and threw herself down onto her futon. Rolling over onto her back, she pressed the back of her right hand against her forehead and let out a low sigh. Opening eyes that had been closed the minute she hit her futon, she didn't like the coldness that seeped through the loose tank top she was wearing and penetrated her skin. Her bed felt alien to her, like somebody else completely foreign to her slept in it each day.

'Maybe thats why I'm having difficulty sleeping, because I don't know myself anymore,' she thought.

Rolling over onto her side, she grabbed the small object on her bedside table, and clasping it in both hands, she held it against her chest.

Like this, she eventually fell into a troubled sleep, where everything was black, but she kept running through the blackness as though she was searching for something.

* * *

When Shinji woke up early that morning, it took him a while to realize he was even awake, as the darkness inside his cell was little different with his eyes open than closed.

Rolling over onto his side, he accidentally brushed against the cuffs that he had broken last night with his AT-field. At the feel of the cold metal against his skin, the memory of yesterdays events came rushing back to him.

Shinji wasn't honestly sure how he felt about o the whole thing. Yes he was still stunned and shocked by everything that had happened, but it was more like, he just didn't care who he really was anymore. So what if the person he thought was his father all his life turned out to be an impostor, an impostor moreover after nothing more than his DNA. So what if it turned out that he was the byproduct of a human and a being equivalent to a god. So what if he was all alone now. It didn't faze him; he would continue to push forward.

Standing up, he walked to the small crack in the walls were the door was and the only light the penetrated the darkness of his cell. Using his fully awakened angel powers, he could still feel the guards that were stationed next to his cell. If he had to describe their AT-fields, it would be something like a beating heart. But it went further than that.

Maybe it had something to do with his visions, which he somewhat understood better because of what Kaoru had said. He could see what they would do before they did it. The nerve pulses that were sent to the brain that made them live out their daily lives. But he could change all that if he pleased. It seemed that he had grown not only to shape the people that he knew's futures, but now also those that he didn't knew. If he chose to do one thing right then and there, like breaking down the cell door, their lives would be forfeit. They would not die by his hand, but by someone else's hand, by letting him escape. But they weren't the only ones that would be affected, and Shinji knew this, so thats why he decided to do nothing. Even as he thought of saying something through the thick metal doors that he was incased in, he saw the change of the guards life as though it was a pop-out picture book that folded out before him.

It would be better if he didn't interact with another human being for the remainder of his life.

Even as he thought this, he felt another AT-field nearing him, and a few seconds later, heard the hinges of his cell door creaking as it was opened.

Light pierced Shinji's eyes as the door opened, and for a moment, Shinji felt as though the sun had descended from the skies and blinded him. However, as his eyes became used to the light, he recognized the silhouette of Fuyutsuki standing in front of him. This only angered him, as it reminded him of that bastard.

Fuyutsuki stood in the opened doorway for a minute, looking at the boy in front of him. He had known about Shinji's true nature for as long as Gendo had, and had been at the hospital as Yui gave birth to Shinji. Though he held no blame in the matter, he still felt remorseful for keeping it from Shinji for so long. The boy in many ways reminded him of Yui.

"I am glad to see that you didn't try anything rash Shinji," said Fuyutsuki in an attempt to start conversation.

Shinji remained completely silent, staring back at him with those blood red eyes, the dark brown forever gone out of them.

"I'm sure that you are hungry by now...and thirsty. If you'll follow me, we can take care of some of the more essential things."

"And then what?" asked Shinji with as little emotion as was humanly possible.

Fuyutsuki seemed puzzled at his question, asking, "What do you mean?"

"I'm not being kept alive because I'm useful anymore am I? That bastard already has Adams DNA..._my _DNA, so why don't you just kill me."

Fuyutsuki was taken aback at the unwavering of his voice.

"Do you desire death Shinji?"

"No, but I do desire an end to everything, and if death can grant that to me, than I will accept it."

Fuyutsuki stared at him, but no matter how he tried to pick apart the expression on Shinji's face, he couldn't know if what he was saying was true. Shinji had become so different that Fuyutsuki would never have guessed that he had known the boy since birth. But somehow he had still managed to maintain his human mind, which by itself was astounding.

Sighing slightly, Fuyutsuki said, "As to your question, killing you would be nothing short of murder. As for whether you serve a purpose or not to Nerv, Seele will likely interfere with us very soon."

Shinji sneered, knowing that it was not really Nerv, but that bastard who decided whether he was usable or not. Seele however...

"What does Seele plan on doing?"

"Initiating Third Impact with the Eva series implanted with the S2 engines."

"Is that all?" asked Shinji as he raised an eyebrow.

Fuyutsuki frowned slightly but said, "It is speculated that they will try to capture you and forcefully use the DNA you were born with to help initiate Third Impact. Most likely, they will go after the other Eva pilots also, as the Evangelions can only hinder their plans now."

"Do they know about me?"

"Yes. Gendo was able to keep them in the dark for a while, erasing all of the original copies of your birth records and replacing himself as the father in the forged documents. But they were able to track down the doctors who supervised the birth, and unfortunately there were a lot of them."

Shinji wanted to ask what kind of pain his mother went through to give birth to him, and whether Fuyutsuki knew about how Adam had even come to impregnate his mother. But the thought put him off slightly, knowing that he wouldn't like the answer, and besides, now wasn't the time.

"The other Eva pilots? Asuka and Rei, what are you going to do with them?"

"Unit 00 is destroyed, and Unit 02 is badly damaged, but emergency repairs have started on it since last night. Rei will be kept in a secure location incase the Geofront and Nerv is infiltrated. With luck though, Unit 02 will be repaired enough to help defend the Geofront."

Shinji felt a small surge of anger deep within a closed off section of his mind as he retorted, "So you're going to use Asuka as a toy again, using her when you need her and then throwing her away."

Fuyutsuki was ashamed of Shinji's statement and it clearly showed on his face. But it was something the commander had ordered.

"She is an invaluable pilot to Nerv, and would help much with the defense of the Geofront. If Unit 02 is not restored however, she will be kept at a secure bunker deep under Central Dogma with Rei."

Shinji couldn't help but laugh inwardly. Asuka would relish the idea of being closed in a room with Ayanami.

"What of myself then?"

Fuyutsuki shrugged as he said, "That depends on your on decision."

Shinji paused for a moment, mulling over everything Fuyutsuki had told him in his mind. He knew Seele was still a problem, and that sooner or later, everyone inside Nerv would have to make a stand against them. They wanted to be the gods of a newly created world, created by them, and ruled by them. The freedom of choice would be gone, something that Kaoru had admired about humans. But still...that bastard was another problem...and Lilith...

"Any idea on when they may take action?" asked Shinji suddenly.

"I don't know," replied Fuyutsuki, "but the defense budget has slowly been cut, and the news of their agent dying should have reached them by now. We expect two days, maybe three at most."

"What can we do in that amount of time?" mumbled Shinji.

"Not much admittedly. With the angels now defeated, the Japanese government see's no reason they should continue backing us, but most likely its simply Seele interfering with the decisions of the higher ups in the government. Dogma has sufficient means of defending itself incase of attack, but the defense will not likely keep other humans out for long. Ironic that even though the angels are defeated, man once again becomes its own enemy."

Shinji snorted at that, knowing how true it was.

"And so, what do you plan on doing?"

"Its not like I really have a choice," said Shinji.

"You could leave Nerv if you really desired it. The angels are defeated, and you have no reason to fight other humans, nor do you wish it. You are not bound here anymore."

"But I am bound by the people here," said Shinji.

As to that, Fuyutsuki didn't have any reply to throw at Shinji.

Staring at his feet for a moment, Shinji shook his head briefly as though seeing the outcome of something in the future. Sighing slightly, he raised his head as he said, "I'm not promising anything, not to you, not to that bastard, but I do owe it to the personal that work here."

Even as he accepted this, he saw a brief vision of the destruction of Nerv, and the death of many people. He saw Misato dead, Ritsuko dead, Kaji dead, and so on and so forth. Everybody he had known, everybody he had shared a bond with in some way or another, he saw possible deaths of them. And Asuka...

Shaking off this last vision, he looked up to see Fuyutsuki frowning at him. His obvious lapse in silence seemed to not have gone unnoticed.

"Are you okay Shinji?" he asked.

"Fine," replied Shinji knowing that a dark shadow most have passed over his face briefly as he saw everything.

"Now if you don't mind, I'll take up that offer from earlier."

Fuyutsuki couldn't help but smile.

"I'll have it all arranged, and there is somebody who wants to see you also."

Shinji narrowed his blood red eyes in response to this statement.

"Who would care to see me?"

"You should be able to figure that out," replied Fuyutsuki as he left Shinji's cell, motioning to the guards on either side of the wall to relax.

Shinji followed Fuyutsuki at a few paces behind him, thinking about what he had said. He guessed who the person was, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

* * *

Maybe persons would have been a better phrase.

Shinji couldn't help but glare at the two people seated at the table in front of him.

They weren't in the cafeteria of Nerv, since his presence there would make most people nervous. No, they were in a separate room used mainly for conferences. In the middle of the room was an oval table with six chairs placed around it. Currently only two of the chairs were occupied, but Shinji was damn well determined to not make it three, even with the generous amount of food laid on the table.

'Isn't this a bit desperate?' he thought as he looked at the food. He guessed they were going to try and keep him here by starving him next. Honestly, he had rather hoped that when his angel half took over, the need to eat would no longer be necessary, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Standing with his hands at this sides, he addressed the two seated at the table.

"Exactly why are you two here?"

"I thought you would have been glad to see us Shinji," replied the woman with purple hair.

"If thats what you thought, you're sorely mistaken," replied Shinji gruffly.

"Shinji-" tried Misato.

But the girl next to her cut her off.

"Ah just leave the idiot alone Misato," said the girl with fiery hair acidly, "he obviously doesn't care whether we're here or not."

"You're right, I don't," said Shinji exasperatingly as he rounded on Asuka.

Asuka glared at him hatefully, staring back into his sunken eyes. After a few moments though, she had to turn her head away.

"God damn it, why the hell did I agree to come along," groaned Asuka as she crossed her legs in irritation.

Misato held her tongue, though all the while thinking, 'Weren't you just wanting to see him yesterday?'

Looking back at Shinji, she said, "How do you feel? Are you hurt or-"

"I'm perfectly fine," said Shinji with clenched teeth.

"You're lying. Nobody would be the same after what you've been through."

"And what exactly have I been through!" retorted Shinji.

Misato simply stared back at him before she said quietly, "I heard about everything...Adam...and the commander."

Shinji's eyes widened as Misato uttered this simple sentence. Shinij had never guessed that Misato would have learned about that.

"Where...did you hear that?" asked Shinji after a few seconds pause. All the fight and arrogance seemed to have evaporated out of him.

"From the guard that carried your unconscious body away. He told me only what he heard, but I understood enough to piece it together."

"So then you know...about me and Adam then," whispered Shinji.

Misato was silent, and really, words weren't needed anymore. Asuka meanwhile had uncrossed her legs and rested one arm on the table, placing her chin in the palm of her hand. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Shinji slowly seem to dissolve on the spot.

'God damn it! This idiot infuriates me,' she thought spitefully.

After a few seconds of waiting for Shinji to do something, Misato finally raised her chin and asked, "Shin-"

But Shinji took a few hasty steps forward and threw himself down on one of the plastic chairs placed around the table and grabbed every plate within reach of his arms and started devouring the food. He didn't realize how hungry his was until just then. Across the table from him, Misato let out a sigh of relief, while Asuka had to hold back the snide comment she longed to throw at his face.

Pausing for a minute from gorging himself, Shinji swallowed loudly and asked Misato, "I don't think its smart if you shout about it though, you weren't meant to know about this."

"I know," said Misato as she leaned back in her chair. "Yesterday, when I learned about it, I was afraid of what would happen if it was discovered that I knew. I left with Asuka hurriedly and didn't intend to come back for a week or so."

"That would never have worked," replied Shinji.

"No, I suppose it wouldn't. But I didn't want to take a chance nonetheless."

"So what did you plan to do with this information?" asked Shinji in between bites of scrambled eggs. Across the table from him, Asuka's stomach started rumbling. Breakfast wasn't very adequate that morning, but then again, it never really was.

"I don't really know," said Misato after she thought about it. "There was no way I could talk about it, and lets face it, nobody would believe me."

"So then why did you come back?"

"Seele," replied Misato simply.

Shinji paused as he was about to take a drink of orange juice, and lowered his glass.

"Fuyutsuki told me they would start moving soon, with there agent gone and everything."

"Yes, but they would have done something anyway. This just gives them an excuse."

"True," said Shinji as he drained his glass.

Misato watched him eat for a minute before she asked a question that had been nagging at her.

"How...different is it?"

"Different? What?" asked Shinji as he chewed his food.

"You're eyes for starters," said Misato as she pointed at Shinji's face. "And even your hair is a little lighter in color."

"It is?" asked Shinji as he looked around as though expecting to find a mirror. Knowing a mirror was anywhere close to him though, he sighed and said, "I'm still myself, that will never change. But I-" Shinji looked from Misato and then to Asuka who was staring at the food in front of Shinji.

"I can feel your AT-fields," finished Shinji.

"You can?" asked Misato while blinking her eyes.

Shinji nodded and said, "I could feel them before, just not as strongly. While every human has an AT-field, they're not as distinct as the angels were. If I had to describe it, it feels like a beating heart."

"But you feel no different?"

"No I do, but I'm able to control it."

Misato understood then that Shinji wished to end the conversation. It wasn't something that he was keen on talking about. Turning to her right, she almost laughed as she could have sworn she saw a small dribble of drool sliding out of the corner of Asuka's mouth.

"Asuka, if you're hungry, you can eat you know."

"Huh? What? No, I'm not hungry..."

"Then how come you're staring at the food?" asked Misato.

"Not hungry!" shouted Asuka as her stomach made a sound similar to that of a lion roaring.

Misato did laugh this time as Asuka's stomach gave a loud grumble; even Shinji was smiling slightly.

Feeling slightly embarrassed at her involuntary actions, Asuka felt her cheeks heat of slightly. Looking over at Shinji, she mistook his smile for a smirk and yelled, "Damn it...fine!"

Leaning over the table, she grabbed the plate directly in front of Shinji, and lifted it over to her side.

'See, you were hungry,' thought Misato silently as Asuka grabbed a knife and fork to the right of her.

Feeling content, Shinji placed both arms on the table and rested his chin in them.

"How long are you staying here for?" he asked Misato.

"I don't know. If possible, I would like to see Ritsuko...unless you're willing to tell me what I wanted to know now that the battles ov-"

"Not a chance," said Shinji quickly.

"So I figured," Misato said with a sigh. "I want to see the state of Unit 02 also though, so thats what we're going to do after-"

Beside her, the sound of a fork and knife clattering onto a plate could be heard.

Asuka turned to Misato and almost knocked Misato over with her shout.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY UNIT 02!"

'Oh shit,' thought Misato. She had forgotten to tell Asuka about the damages inflicted on Unit 02. Across the table, Shinji felt briefly ashamed, since it was his doing that had rendered the Eva Unit into a pile of scrap metal.

"Asuka hold on, calm down," said Misato in a desperate attempt to keep Asuka from breaking anything.

Asuka didn't bother listening though, and grabbed the nearest thing within her reach, which happen to be a glass, and flung it at Shinji's face.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT SOMEHOW YOU BASTARD!"

Without blinking an eye, an eruption of orange appeared in front of Shinji shattering the glass as it neared his face. The broken pieces of glass turned to fine dust as they came into contact with Shinji's AT-field. His AT-field blocked the large pieces so that they wouldn't cut him, passing over both his shoulders. Shinji never broke his gaze as he continued staring at Asuka, his blood red eyes unblinking as they bored into her own ocean blue ones.

Eventually though, Asuka had to break the contact with Shinji, but it wasn't the normal feeling that she felt when she looked at him. It was-

She suddenly felt scared of him.

She had never felt scared of anything in her life, but this boy who was her own age gave off such a feeling that her legs felt like they might collapse under her.

Misato sat still, her eyes shifting back and forth between the two teens, waiting for one of them to make a move. Even she was shocked by Shinji's reaction. It seemed second nature to him now to use his AT-field, like it was as normal as walking.

Shinji stood up then so suddenly that the plastic chair tipped backwards, falling over so that its legs pointed towards the ceiling. Looking over at Asuka, he could see that she was determinedly not looking at him. Her bottom teeth were biting down on her lower lip in frustration but also-

'Its better like this,' thought Shinji. 'If she fears me, then its only easier.'

Turning around, Shinji stuck his hands in his pockets and opened the door to leave. Pausing for a second though, he looked out of the corner of his eyes. Asuka had not moved yet, and with her fists clenched, she seemed to be trying to muster up the courage to say something...or even do something.

Shinji thought it was oddly funny to see Asuka in a situation where she was afraid. But he knew that if she acted on her thoughts, and tried to hit him, he wasn't sure what would happen. Likely something that he regret for the rest of his life.

Feeling himself calm down, he uttered a few words which he hoped would make things a little better.

"I'm truly sorry for what happened to Unit 02," said Shinji as he stood in the open doorway.

"Do you think you can just say sorry and everything will be better!" Asuka screamed after him.

Shinji shook his head for a second before he said, "Saying sorry is the first step towards forgiveness...but I don't really expect that from you."

"You're right! I won't ever forgive you!"

But Asuka may as well have screamed that out of the window of fifty story building, because Shinji had already disappeared through the doorway.

Asuka stared at the doorway for a while, before she slammed her right fist on the wooden table, upending a plate near her fist and spilling food onto the floor.

'God damn it,' she thought. 'I should have just hit him...'

* * *

"Its not too bad," said Misato as they stood in Unit 02's chamber.

Asuka threw her a dirty look before she turned her attention back to her Unit 02.

Both arms where missing, the head was smashed in, and according to the engineer, the chest cavity was filled with blood. How could this be considered as 'not too bad?'

Turning towards Misato, Asuka groaned, "Are you kidding? It could take weeks to return it to what it looked before."

Misato sighed inwardly, thinking that Asuka only cared about the appearance.

"And you heard what the engineer said," continued Asuka, "at most, they may able to repair an arm only."

"Well its better then what I had expected," said Misato.

Asuka was silent as she continued staring back at Unit 02.

"I am going to kill him," she mumbled.

Misato turned toward her and said very bluntly, "Don't get in his way."

"And why is that?" asked Asuka snappishly

Did Misato really need to spell it out for her?

"You should know, after seeing what he did early. And the expression on your face..." she finished, letting her voice die out.

"He just caught me off guard is all," replied Asuka stubbornly.

Continuing to stare back into the blank eyes of Unit 02 she couldn't help but feel like her pride had taken a sudden spiral downwards. Unit 02 was, and had been for the longest time, her life. It had been defeated though, and she felt like a piece of her heart had been broken. If she wasn't able to pilot Unit 02, then what reason did she have to exist?

"Asuka?" asked Misato, who had been worried about how Asuka would take this shocking sight, "You okay?"

"Fine," mumbled Asuka as she continued staring back at the dismembered Unit 02. "Perfectly fine."

Misato knew she was lying.

* * *

Shinji was mad at Misato for bringing Asuka along, but not nearly as mad as he was with himself.

After storming the halls of Nerv without any clear objective in mind, during which he scared several personal so bad that he thought they may need therapy, he eventually wandered outside Central Dogma and into the Geofront. Walking aimlessly to the man made lake, he threw himself down on the ground and spread his arms and legs outward. Looking across the lake, Shinji could descry the elevator that he had taken down into the Geofront when he met Kaoru. It felt like an eternity ago that that happened.

Raising his right hand into the air, he turned it over several times as though expecting it to look similar to that bastards hand with dead pieces of skin falling off it. Of course, no such thing happened.

'If its true that I possess the DNA of Adam, because he is my real father, then I suppose my body wouldn't degrade, and I've used my own AT-field way to many times as it is.'

That was something he wondered about. Were there negative effects happening to his body because of his AT-field? He had numerous tests done on both his body and while he was piloting Unit 01, but nothing had ever been wrong, that he knew at least. Now though, with his angel genes completely dominant instead of recessive, he wondered if anything had changed inside him?

Then there was the matter of his regeneration. He had heard that every cell in a humans body has a limited amount of times it can reproduce itself, or divide as it is better known as. So every time he got heavily injured and his damaged tissue repaired itself, it was logical to assume that his life expectancy was reduced every time his cells divided.

He even remembered what Ritsuko said about the possibility to pass on the gene, but that was the last thing he was thinking about right now.

No! Right now, and annoyingly enough, he couldn't get a certain red haired girl out of his fucking head.

He thought that it would have been easy enough forgetting about everything that they had been through, but the memories that he had of their time spent together was now just tormenting him. Before, he had cherished the memories, since that was really all he had with his feelings completely gone. Now though, and he suspected it had something to do with his angel self, every time he saw Asuka or even thought of her, he wanted to break everything in sight. The barrier that had kept his angel self at bay was gone, and all that remained were memories turned bitter. He even found himself wishing they could all be erased, so he could blissfuly go through the rest of his probably short life without them.

He had somewhat expected to see her today, and had even prepared himself mentally before walking into the conference room, but the simple sight of her made him wanted to generate his AT-field and slice the entire table in half.

He was angry at himself for lashing out in anger when she had thrown the glass at him. He had created his AT-field without a second thought, like someone else was controlling his body within those few seconds of time. But he also wished that what he had done would distance herself from him. He knew that Asuka was incredibly stubborn though, and would be determined to put Shinji in his rightful place, namely with him on the ground and her foot pressed down over his face.

Above all else though, he was afraid that the bitter memories that he now held would surface themselves physically, and he would strike her, who he had said before he would never hit, even if it meant he killed himself. He wasn't sure though anymore. His angel self fueled itself on anger and hatred, and unfortunately for him, he had plenty of that. The angels were created to protect the Tree of Life and kill off all humanity of if it came to that...but technically he wasn't an angel. Adam was a being similar to that of a god, he had only created the angels. But in a sense, he had created Shinji also...so then, maybe he was an angel?

'Damn it,' yelled Shinji inwardly, 'everything's just too confusing now. I don't even know whats right and whats not!'

Feeling anger suddenly surge through him and everything that had happened, not just in the past twenty-four hours, but over the course of his involvement with Nerv, he swung his right arm down bitterly in front of him.

His AT-field shot outward, parting the lake as Moses had parted the Red Sea. Water shot upwards to the left and right of Shinji's AT-field, revealing the metal surface underneath all the water. The gap was so wide, that four men could walk abreast with relative ease.

Shinji was relatively shocked, as he knew that his AT-field before was nowhere near powerful enough to create a miracle such as this. Now though, even miracles like this were possible.

All at once, the water that had been raised up to twenty feet alongside Shinji's AT-field crashed back downwards into the large gap that Shinji had created. The water filled back up quickly, creating large waves that crashed amongst one other. Eventually though, the water returned to its normal calm demeanor.

After the waves subsided, Shinji looked down at his right hand, surprised at how powerful his AT-field had become. If what he did was any indication, he probably wouldn't have much problem slicing a building cleanly in half. Not that he'd ever consider that of course.

'By all rights, this level of power shouldn't even exist,' he thought. At the same time though, he was not only rejecting the Evangelions, but himself also.

'Strangely enough though,' he thought, 'if I had never met Asuka, I wonder if any of this would have ever been possible? I'd still be the son of Adam, but would anything have ever come out of it if I had never met Asuka?' But when he thought about it more deeply, he realized that he had met Asuka through a chain of events. Leaving his old roommates place, moving in with Misato, hell, even moving to Tokyo-3 started everything in a sense.

'Its our choices that change our futures,' thought Shinji, 'that I understand well enough. But its not just our choices, but the people around us who's choices can also change our futures. I suppose I'm the most clear example of that.'

Everybody has the possibility to change anybody else, but Shinji is unique in that he can see the outcome of a choice. He can intervene and save somebody, or he can standby and watch them die, and so, he can shape peoples futures. And if he ever came into a position of power...

'Thats not something I should be thinking about,' he thought.

What he wondered though, is how his visions related to Adam. Kaoru told him that he had something similar, and he mentioned seeing his own death as something of the sort. Shinji however could not see himself by himself, only in the futures of the people around him, and the reality of that was starting to fade away. It was almost as though he simply didn't exist. Adam had something to do with his visions, as did the fact that he's also a human. He knew humans could shape their own futures, but it was because of Adam that he was somehow able to see the possibility, and or outcome of that future.

'When did I become an intellectual?' thought Shinji, laughing inwardly at himself.

Standing up, he ignored the sand that clung to his pants and looked back towards the giant pyramid in the middle of the Geofront that was Central Dogma.

"Seele will take action soon," said Shinji as he gazed at Central Dogma. It looked so strong from here, but he knew that it couldn't hold out long against a siege. It had never been built with the idea of other humans attacking it.

A storm was coming, but he didn't know what it would bring.

* * *

Asuka picked idly at the food in front of her.

She was in the one of the many cafeteria's of Nerv, though admittedly, she wasn't sure what she was doing there. She had eaten hardly two hours ago, but Misato said that she had something to do, and that it wouldn't take long. Asuka didn't know how long ago she had said that, but she knew that it was taking way longer than it was expected.

She felt useless, like a throwaway toy that once it outlived its usefulness, it was replaced by the new and improved version. In this case, she felt that _he _was her replacement.

She felt like her life held no meaning right now. Being an Eva pilot was the only thing that proved that she existed, that she had a purpose; it was the only thing that proved the first ten years of her life weren't wasted. Everything that had happened to her with her father and her college days in Germany rushed back to her as bitter memories filled her head. She had been able to find sanctuary in being an Eva pilot, but _he _had taken all that away from her.

She blamed it all on _him. _If _he_ had never shown up,then she would still be the number one pilot. And earlier, what had happened when she had thrown the glass at his stupid face... She had never really thought of him as dangerous, even when she had heard that he had killed somebody before. But, when he had generated his AT-field to destroy the glass she threw at him without any hint of hesitation, she realized how different he really was. Was she really afraid of him? Asuka thought about this for a moment and didn't really know. He was just so...different compared to when she had first met him.

Dropping her fork onto the tray of food, she pushed it away with a disgusted look on her face. She wasn't even sure what she was doing here, after all, she had eaten earlier. But it was more like, the food from Nerv just tasted terrible now. She supposed that it was because of that stupid fried rice, though this thought only infuriated her even more.

Standing up suddenly, she knocked her elbow against the edge of the table and winced slightly as a sharp pain coursed through her for a brief instance. Looking out of the corner of her eye though, she caught a brief flash of something coming from the double doored entrance to the cafeteria. When she completely turned her head in that direction though, she didn't see anything or anyone.

Hesitating slightly, she made up her mind though in the next second, and forced her feet to move. Walking rather fast, with her hair swinging behind her and her hands clenched into fists, she stormed through the cafeteria. Heads turned as they thought they saw a red headed demon storm past them, as though the apocalypse had come.

Coming to a halt outside the cafeteria doors, she turned to her left and looked down the white hallway just to see someone walk around the corner at the far end of the hallway. Feeling a smile stretch across her face, she started walking at a brisk pace to the corner she had seen the person disappear around.

Peering around the corner, she caught the back of the persons head and couldn't help but smile.

'That bastard...' she thought.

Walking at an even pace, she evenly matched her foot falls with his and silently followed him.

Shinji of course, on the other hand, already knew that she was following, and he laughed silently at that thought. It was amazing how arrogant Asuka could be at times.

'How did I ever like someone as crude, abrasive, and unloving as her?' The mere thought of what he used to think of her made him want to puke. The question however was: 'how long do I play this stupid game?'

Shinji was amused by it. He knew that Asuka was behind him because he could feel her AT-field; the subsequent movements as she shifted from one foot to the other as she matched her pace with his. What he was curious though, was whether if he stopped, if she would do the same thing.

'May as well find out,' thought Shinji silently.

All at once, his footfalls came to a sudden stop and no more than twenty feet behind him, he knew that Asuka had come to a similar stop.

'I never knew she could be this childish,' thought Shinji. 'Now...should I continue walking...or not?'

He knew that Asuka wanted to say something to him, and he rather regret his actions from a few moments ago, but unfortunately, he couldn't help himself when he had seen her alone in the cafeteria, so he had paused for a moment and watched her. He understood that she was feeling lonely and without a purpose because of Unit 02 being so badly damaged, but she looked completely pathetic sitting there and playing with her food. Maybe a part of Shinji laughed at that, amused that she could be hurt over something so stupid. But it wasn't stupid to her.

'Of course not,' replied the most human part of his mind. 'Being an Eva pilot was everything to her. Everything until-'

"I showed up in her life," Shinji whispered quietly. At the same time, the human voice inside him disappeared and he thought he felt Asuka shift uncomfortably behind him.

"Why are you following me?" he finally asked, addressing the person behind him.

Shinji didn't need to turn around or have an AT-field to know that Asuka sneered at him.

"And who was the one that watched me while I was in the cafeteria?" said Asuka, trying to keep her voice at a normal volume...for now.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," lied Shinji as he turned to look over his shoulder. "Most likely you are imagining things."

Asuka flinched openly at that and unclenched and then re-clenched her fists as though she longed she punch his stupid face in.

"Ha, idiot!" laughed Asuka as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You are the one thats imagining things. The commander has an AT-field? You're the son of an angel? Don't give me that bullshit."

Asuka wasn't sure whether she believed it or not, but she really didn't care much either way. Shinji however seemed too, because he turned all the way around and faced her.

"So what you're saying is you don't believe me?" asked Shinji in a completely normal tone of voice.

"Essentially...yes."

"I see..." mumbled Shinji, as he slowly took his right hand out of his pocket and let it dangle limply at his side. Asuka meanwhile followed his hand with her eyes as he lowered it to his side.

"Even after earlier...you don't believe me? Even though Misato believes me? Even if what I told you before to not associated with me still applies...more than ever for that matter."

"So what! For starters we are both Eva pilots."

"I don't think that applies to you anymore," replied Shinji coldly.

Asuka clenched her teeth at that, but her eyes still trailed to his right hand.

"You're the one that appeared before me in the first place! You're the one that destroyed my Unit 02. You're the one that ruined everything! If it wasn't for you...I wouldn't be like this!" Asuka screamed at him.

Shinji looked back at her cooly and said, "Do I look like I care about your problems? In case you didn't realize, I have my own problems!"

Asuka took a step backwards from him then. Couldn't he understand what she was feeling right now?

"You don't...but you-"

"I what?" asked Shinji snappishly.

Asuka bit down on her lower lip. A far corner of her mind still thought that he had something to do with her forgotten memories, but because of his personality, she wasn't able to bring the subject up. She didn't even fully understand the feeling herself, but she felt even lower than when she had been sitting alone in the cafeteria.

Shinji however thought that he may have gone a step to far. What he had said wasn't necessarily true.

Turning away from her, he sighed and said, "I told you I was sorry about Unit 02..."

"But its not like you cared one way or another," retorted Asuka with an empty voice.

Again, this wasn't true, but there was no way Shinji was about to brooch the subject of Asuka's mother. That would lead to a number of awkward questions.

"I can understand the connection between an Eva and its pilot. I did not want to damage it at all, but truth be, Unit 02 was rather...overbearing. Stubborn you could say."

'Like yourself,' finished Shinji in his own mind.

Asuka was silent for a moment before she asked, "I thought that the angel...Kaoru was controlling my Unit 02? Why would it be so...difficult..."

"True," said Shinji while shrugging, "but Kaoru only had control over it a certain amount of time...afterwards Unit 02 started...acting on its own." Pausing for a minute, he turned back to her and looked her in the eye saying, "I think that Unit 02 was...protecting you in some way."

Asuka blinked several times back at him before she asked, "How could my Unit 02 be trying to protect me when I wasn't even in it?"

"No clue," replied Shinji. "Why don't you ask it that?" he finished sarcastically with a slight sneer. This brought Asuka quickly back to the fact that she wanted to punch his stupid face into jelly.

"Tch, idiot!" she replied feeling annoyed as she turned her head the other way. Though as she peeked out of one of her eyes she saw that he had already walked ten feet away from her.

"Ahhh...where are you going!" she yelled fervently.

"No clue, but where ever it is, I don't want you following me to it."

"As if I would moron!"

Shinji however didn't seem to have anything further to say to her, and continued walking down the hallway. Asuka however was determinedly trying not to watch him, and failing miserably. Eventually uncrossing her arms, she stared after him for a few moments before she took one small step forward as Shinji yelled behind him.

"I thought I told you not to me follow me!"

"I'm perfectly inclined to walk anywhere I damn well please!" replied Asuka hotly.

Shinji turned around and glared at her, hoping that his gaze could break the arrogance and stubbornness inside of her. Asuka glared back with about as much intensity. Reluctantly, Shinji was the first to break his glare.

"Fine, do whatever you want."

"Okay then, do you know anything about my lost memories?"

The words were out of Asuka's mouth before she even managed to wrap them around her tongue. Realizing what she just said, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand and repeated over and over in her mind, 'What the fuck did I just do?'

Even so though, she waited with bated breath for Shinji's reply.

Shinji meanwhile felt a very unpleasant chill travel up is spine at her words. He knew Asuka was sharp, but this...he never expected something like this. First and foremost: how could she remember anything in the first place, and second: could she remember anything specifically?

Feigning ignorance, he said, "I've no idea what you're talking abou-"

"Don't lie like Misato and the others," said Asuka, cutting him off. "I'm sick of being lied to..."

"I've really no idea what you're talking abou-"

Next second, an angry demon was in Shinji's face, and yelling at him. Asuka had taken several quick strides towards him and without thinking, started shouting at him.

"You have no idea what you're talking about! Really! Because every single fucking person besides me seems to know whats going on! What the fuck happened while I was hospitalized? Did the First grow a personality? Did my bastard of a father show up? Did Misato get wasted and end up in an orgy! I want to know why everyone is keeping something from me! And you! I want to know what you have to do with it all!"

"What the hell do I have to do with your fucked up mind!" shouted Shinji with equal volume back at her face.

Asuka, already reaching a breaking point emotionally, grabbed Shinji by the scruff of his shirt and threw him against the sheet-rocked wall, and continued yelling at him, bits of spittle flying out of her mouth and landing on his face.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO WITH MY MEMORIES DAMN IT! BUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING FACE! AND THERE WAS THAT FRIED RICE YOU MADE...AND...AND THAT FUCKING CASE THAT I CAN'T EVEN GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT HOLDING!"

If there was ever a moment for Shinji to have an aneurism...it was then. How the hell could he have forgotten about something so memorable as that particular item? He should have thrown it away like everything that had been in his room. Thankfully though, the blankness of his brain didn't seem to show on his face.

Looking back at her passively for a minute, he said, "As much as I enjoy listening to the drabber of a fifteen year old, I really don't care about that stuff."

Asuka couldn't take anymore, and let get of his shirt, before swinging her right fist forward and striking him across the bridge of his noes.

Whether she intended to apply that much force, it certainly reached the desired effect. The bridge of Shinji's nose bent in an odd angle as Asuka's fist made contact with it. Blood spurted out of both his nostrils, while Asuka felt the sensation of bone breaking. Since Shinji was backed up against a wall, his head smashed backwards into the hard wall, though leaving a sizable dent where is head had hit it. A blood lump appeared just at the back of his head.

Momentarily stunned at what she had done, Asuka regained control of herself, and drew back to hit him again, when Shinji grabbed her fist as it swung forward.

"LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD," Asuka shrieked at him.

Shinji simply stared back at her as blood dripped down his face, pausing at the corners of his lips before staining his white shirt.

"I SAID LET GO OF ME YOU BASTARD," Asuka repeated herself.

Shinji did just that.

But he also push her forward slightly so that Asuka fell backwards a few steps.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU-"

Shinji's right hand came slicing downwards through the air, tearing the wind apart and effectively cutting Asuka off mid sentence. His AT-field came mere centimeters from slicing off Asuka's right arm. His AT-field slice in the wall, destroying the sheet-rock and sending white ponder into the air. Thankfully enough, there was no office or other room on the other side of the room, but Shinji had purposefully controlled it so it didn't travel far. A large crack travelled up the wall where Shinji's AT-field had hit and along the ceiling before large chunks of the wall fell in the hallway where the were standing. Electric circuits fell from the ceiling where they had been placed and now hung into the hallway as though they were fines.

Shinji continued his silence, with his right arm halfway at his side. He simply continued staring at Asuka, waiting for her reaction.

Asuka's entire body seemed to have seized up. A cold sweat developed all over her body, instantly lowering her body temperature and sending a cold shiver down her spine. Her bottom lip trembled with fright while her eyes remained as wide as dinner place. The last bit of her words before he had used his AT-field seemed to have been caught in her throat, but she wasn't able to say them...not now, not ever. Lastly, her eyes trailed on a lock of bright red hair that seemed to be floating through the air as if a breeze had entered the hallway. Shinji had sliced off a lock of her hair as he had shoved her backwards.

"Now do you see what I mean," said Shinji in a low voice. Asuka looked back into his blood red eyes and saw cold contempt. She unconsciously took a step back.

Continuing, Shinji said, "I don't care about what you're problems, I don't care about your stupid memories, and I certainly don't care to listen to the sniveling sorrows of somebody unfit to even pilot Eva."

Shinji smiled slightly at his own words. He had hit the nail on the head in a sense.

Shinji's words froze the already frost bitten Asuka's heart.

"Furthermore, I could have instantly killed you, but I believed that scaring you would be a better solution. I don't like the sight of blood and probably you don't either. This is a proper trade. Don't associate with me anymore. I have my own things to worry about as it is."

As Shinji turned away from her, Asuka caught a glimpse of Shinji's face, and saw that his noes had snapped itself back into its rightful place. Her legs started to loose there strength. How could he have done such a thing?

As Shinji continued walking away, he turned one last time and said, "I never thought the high and mighty Asuka would ever look so pitiful."

Asuka's head jerked at his comment. The way he said her name so casually...she felt a cold rage building up inside of her. Willing her legs to stay upright for a little while longer, she shouted back at him while trying to keep the sob in her voice at a minimum and the tears from spilling forth from her eyes.

"I...hate you...bastard!" I thought because you were different...that you could maybe at least understand. But you're...not even a human anymore. So how could you ever understand... I hate you..."

Shinji paused for a second, forcing himself to not looked back at her. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him right now, but he would rather destroy his own mind then have to look at Asuka right now.

Whispering quietly, so that she wouldn't hear him, he said, "Good...because if we ever were to reach an understanding between each other...again...I believe that both of us will die. At least this way...you'll survive."

Shinji continued walking forward, as everything inside of him threaten to spill forth. He knew he had done more damage then he had meant to, but he didn't care anymore. It was better this way; better for her to hate him and curse him then to try to become closer. If he was perfectly honest with himself, he wanted nothing more to embrace her right now, even if it meant that he would be on his knees with severe pain in his groin, but the possibility of that had disappeared. He couldn't see himself in Asuka's future anymore.

'And it hurts,' he thought before he disappeared out of her sight.

Asuka's finally collapsed under her own weight as Shinji rounded the corner and sank to the ground. Placing her head over her knees she wept silently in the hallway. She had thought he knew something, even hoped on it, but the reality was that he didn't care about her one way or another. Even if he did know something, he would never tell it to her. Asuka wept not so much because she would never remember her past life, but because Shinji had ignored her cry out for help; him who should understand her the best.

She hated him, but she wished that she could have known him. Now though, it seemed like nothing more than a disappearing dream.

What she didn't understand thought was what he had said at the end. The majority of it she didn't catch, and she sorta thought he never wished her to here it; that was why he said it so quietly.

"Why did he say, 'at least this way you will survive?'"

Asuka had heard that last of Shinji's whispered words.

Continuing to stare at her keens while her tear stained face started to dry up, she pondered his mumbled words, but she couldn't figure out what it had meant.

"Stupid idiot," she mumbled, "Why the hell did you say something like that."

Looking towards the corner where he had disappeared around, she was tempted to follow after him, but something held her back. Was she honestly scared of him? Maybe scared yes, but she never thought that he would have actually killed her. He said he hated the sight of blood, so it was reasonable to assume that he would not have killed her.

"So then why did he do what he did? Why did he try to make me avoid him?" she wondered out loud.

But only one thing came to mind, and that was that he knew something about her memories.

"Stupid bastard," she swore.

Forcing herself to stand up, she wiped the remaining tears off her face with the back of her left hand.

"I don't care how long it takes," she said, "I swear I'll beat my memories out of you even if I have to break a two by four over your head."

Taking one last look down the hallway at the corner where he had disappeared around she sighed and said, "Stubborn as," before walking the opposite way.

Asuka didn't really realize, but she was being just as selfish and self-centered as Shinji was.

* * *

Twelve people sat around a large oaken table. Each of them was an old man in his late eighties.

The oldest of the twelve spoke first.

"The last angel Tabris has been defeated by the child of Adam. The appointed time is upon us."

"But what about Gendo and his plans?" said the man next to him.

"Let the fool think what he will," said a man on the opposite side of the table. "The Eva series is completed, and the JSDF only need to be bought."

"But what of the child of Adam? Surely he will not listen to us."

"He will not have a choice in the matter. His destiny was appointed at birth. The Spawn of Adam will pave the way for the future that we the chosen people of Seele have decreed. There will be no mistakes in the matter."

"What of Lilith then," one the men asked after a short pause.

The oldest of the them smiled slightly as he said, "Lilith will always do what is best for the humans, for us. She will not hinder are plans."

Some of the other men were rather skeptical at this, but didn't voice there opinion. The Dead Sea Scrolls held by the number one were an absolute.

"In three days time we assault the stronghold Tokyo-3 and destroy the Geofront."

"What of the surrounding civilians and personal of Nerv though?" as one of the men at the corner of the table.

Seeming to shrug slightly, the oldest of them said, "Leave none alive."


	28. Goodbyes

**Well finally got this one done. It took a lot longer than i expected because I had a hard drive failure...meaning I lost the original draft of this and had to start from scratch...along with the other 60GB of stuff I had. So things are moving slow right now. I gotta redownload all my Evangelion stuff, and trust me, its a lot.**

**Not sure if I'll manage to get another chapter posted before college starts, but lets see...**

* * *

The third day since the last angel Tabris died.

The third day since Shinji discovered he was the child of the being known as Adam.

The third day since the conference of Seele, in which the number one gave the order that no man, woman, or child would be left alive in Tokyo-3.

The third day, the ending of the old age, and the beginning of a new….

* * *

"Damn it, I almost wished that they would hurry up and attack," mumbled Shinji as he threw the stone from his hand into the lake.

Since those three days prior, Shinji had spent little time around anyone else, which suited him just fine. He had briefly talked to Fuyutsuki about where he would be when Seele attacked, but Fuyutsuki had told him they'd discuss it at a different time. Instead, he had given Shinji a cell phone which would automatically have a text sent to it if they needed him at the command center. During there discussion, he had been rather tempted to ask about that bastard, but figured he wouldn't get an answer either way. He had talked to Misato though, but that wasn't really worth mentioning.

Bending down, he chose another smooth stone among the many littering the shores of the man made lake inside the Geofront and picked it up. Turning it several times in his hands, he smirked slightly as he threw it outward like a Frisbee, making it skip several times across the water before it finally sunk.

"All this waiting is making me impatient," he said, finishing his earlier thought.

Picking up another stone, he threw it with his left hand, while simultaneously slicing his right arm through the air. His AT-field shot outwards, cleanly slicing the stone in half so it that it dropped into the water with a plunk. Feeling somewhat satisfied, he threw his arms behind his head and turned around to walk back up the embankment he had slid down to get to the shore. As he did this though, he descried the elevator far off in the distance where he had talked with Kaoru those few days ago. It all seemed like a distant memory now.

Reaching the top of the embankment he turned and looked at the giant pyramid like structure in the middle of the Geofront. The headquarters of Nerv seemed so impenetrable and formidable, but Shinji knew otherwise. They could not live long against a siege, which he wouldn't be surprised if that actually happened. After all, it had never been created with the intention of fighting other humans.

Walking down the paved walkway that circled around the Geofront, he kicked randomly and several stones he had seen of his earlier walks. He had spent most of his time walking around the Geofront, but he was strictly forbidden from entering Tokyo-3 for obvious reasons. It had come to the point now, that when he walked; he was able to recognize cracks in the asphalt that he had seen at earlier times.

It was almost as though he was thinking these things, so as to not let his mind stray to other matters. But unfortunately they seemed to be.

He hadn't talked to Asuka once since he had essentially rejected her those three days ago. Though they saw each other often enough in the hallways, Asuka acted as though Shinji was part of the wall, which Shinji was perfectly fine with. Misato was supervising much of the defense that would be in place to stop Seele, so Asuka was stuck at Nerv almost as frequently as Shinji was. But if Asuka ignored him, then he would reply the exact same.

Shinji couldn't forget what he had said to Asuka, nor could he forget the desperation that she had shown on her face, as though he was the last person that she had expected…believed. It hurt Shinji to do what he did, but it was better this way. He hated Asuka, so that he could protect her. He didn't want to see her hurt anymore. What he had not expected though, was for Asuka to ask him about her memories.

He had always known that Asuka was exceptionally bright, even if she didn't show it often, and that he was comparatively dumb, but what she said threw him for a loop. He had never in his craziest dreams thought that she would ask such a thing. But she had, and for a brief instance, he had wondered whether some portion of her memories remained intact. What she said about the earrings he had given her though…he had honestly completely forgotten about those. When he had thrown all his stuff out when he ceased to live in Misato's apartment, he should have thrown those out along with the rest of his things. But it wasn't just that, small things seemed to trigger memories about the times they spent together.

Shinji also supposed though that it wasn't just his fault that Asuka seemed in such a bad mood. The report on her Unit 02 had come back, and it hadn't been pretty. Though the right arm had been repaired, it was only possible because they neglected the other damaged areas of Unit 02. Because of that, it was impossible to consider it battle ready…no matter how much Asuka screamed and yelled at the technicians in both German and Japanese. Instead, both Asuka and Rei would be kept at a secure underground bunker deep inside Terminal Dogma.

The Evangelion pilots would be targeted first; everyone knew this, which was why Misato had decided on a possible escape plan. During the creation of the Geofront, many tunnels had been delved underneath the mountains surrounding Tokyo-3. With these tunnels a group of guards had been given the task of escorting Asuka and Rei to The United States. It seemed to be the only safe passage for now, since it seemed likely that other nations would partake in the attack.

Shinji though, on the other hand, had no intentions of running away.

"It's not my place to do such a thing," muttered Shinji

As he said this, he felt a vibration in his pocket. Reaching into it, he pulled out the cell phone and read the text message displayed across the screen. Frowning slightly, he looked towards the large pyramid and thought, 'A chance to surrender?'

* * *

"Correct," answered Misato as Shinji asked his question.

Shinji looked back at Misato with a surprised look on his face before he folded his arms and asked, "What exactly is this bullshit?"

"To be honest, we rather expected this," said Fuyutsuki as he turned away from the monitor displaying the entirety of Tokyo-3.

Shinji had come to the commander center as he had been instructed to, but he didn't expect this. Looking around at the many faces inside the command center, he saw that most of the faces looked hopeful, as though they expected Fuyutsuki to accept the terms of surrender, whatever they may be. Shinji didn't think they had an inkling about how ruthless Seele was.

"What do you mean you expected this?" asked Shinji

Fuyutsuki paused for a minute before he said, "Earlier today, the government of Japan issued a statement saying that the city known as Tokyo-3 was no longer part of their nation, and that it should be viewed hostilely, and that the Evangelions were a threat to mankind."

Shinji blinked several times; this statement seemed like such a contradictions compared to three days ago.

"But they completely supported us three days ago," he said, speaking his thoughts.

"It just goes to show how much influence Seele has on the nation of Japan. But that's not all," said Misato. "We were right in assuming that other nations would partake in the attack, since each member of Seele is a well known person within their nation, some even within the cabinets of foreign nations. Many nations have given their support to Japan, including armed troops. The United Nations themselves sympathizes with the government of Japan, and fully supports them."

"But the bad news doesn't stop there," continued Fuyutsuki. "The United States is no longer an option to send Asuka and Rei to."

It was then that Shinji realized that both Asuka and Rei were present in the command center. He was rather surprised that he had missed their faces earlier. Asuka was ignoring him as usual, but Rei was looking straight at him. Shinji tried to smile, but found that he couldn't force it no matter how hard he tried, but Rei didn't seem like she cared. Shinji then remembered what Ritsuko had told him before, and knew that Rei didn't even remember who he was anymore.

Turning back to Fuyutsuki, he asked, "What happened with America?"

"We don't know what changed their minds so suddenly, but they have decided to back the efforts of many countries financially. The only plus is that they wont be sending armed troops."

Shinji couldn't help but laugh inwardly at that.

"So now what?" he asked finally after Misato and Fuyutsuki were done talking. "Don't tell me that you plan to accept this surrender?"

"Don't be absurd," scoffed Fuyutsuki in nothing like his usual manner. "They wouldn't give us a chance even if we did surrender. We have already given our answer, but they gave us an hour to rethink it."

As Fuyutsuki said this, Shinji looked around at the faces that had been full of hope minutes ago. They seemed depressed and dejected now.

"What about the mayor of Tokyo-3?" asked Shinji. "Didn't he comment on this whole thing?"

"It seems like the mayor has been in the pockets of Seele for a while now," said Misato. "He moved to Tokyo-2 yesterday."

"Great…just great," muttered Shinji as he ran a hand through his hair. "And…so? Where exactly should I be?"

"…What do you mean Shinji?" asked Misato.

"For the defense! Won't they hit hardest at Gate 1?"

"Well, that is what we expect but-"

"Great, then I'll go there now."

As Shinji turned to leave though, Misato shouted after him.

"Hold on Shinji! I have something else I want you to do first!"

Pausing for a minute in mid step, Shinji asked without turning around, "What is it?"

Misato hesitated for a second. She knew how against this Shinji would be, but she couldn't turn to anyone else.

"Shinji…I need you to escort both Rei and Asuka to the elevator that will take them into Terminal Dogma."

Shinji heard her words, but they didn't really register with him.

"What did you say Misato?"

"…You heard exactly what I said Shinji," she replied simply without a hitch in her voice.

"I did…and so? Why me exactly?"

"Because I can't entrust this to anyone other than you Shinji."

Shinji finally turned and looked at Misato, before settling his eyes on Rei…and then Asuka. Finally resigning himself to what Misato had asked, he said, "Fine…whatever."

Turning around, he didn't even bother to check to see if Rei and Asuka were following him. Misato however, motioned to both Asuka and Rei to follow Shinji. Rei followed obediently, but Asuka threw Misato a dirty look as she remembered their conversation from earlier.

Rei entered the elevator first, with Asuka shortly behind her. Asuka then backed herself up against the furthest wall away from Shinji and crossed her arms so tightly it looked as though they'd be stuck that way. She didn't see the need for precautions like this, and thought Misato was being too paranoid.

As Shinji pushed the down button on the elevator, he looked straight ahead to Misato who was watching him. He knew that she had heard about what had happened between him and Asuka, so he wasn't pleased about having to do something like this. But since she had asked him, he supposed he had to. And he didn't think she would ask if she didn't have a very good reason.

As the doors closed in front of him, he watched as Misato's face disappeared in front of him.

With the doors closed, and the noise from the command center silenced, the silence in the elevator started. It was rather difficult to decide who was giving off the stronger feeling of loathing: Shinji or Asuka? But the tension in the air was stifling.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Asuka darted forward. She didn't want to spend anymore time with this bastard than what she absolutely had to, so she intended to make a beeline straight for the elevator to take her down into Terminal Dogma. But surprisingly Shinji stuck out his arm to stop her.

Turning towards him, Asuka snarled as she talked to him against her will, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Misato had a reason that she wanted me with you two," said Shinji, his voice laced with annoyance towards Asuka, "but I don't know why. So I don't intend to let you barge ahead of me."

"Do I look like I care?" asked Asuka angrily.

"No, you don't. Nor do I honestly care what happens to you, but it's not just you, its Ayanami that's here also. So I'm only going to say this once…stay right behind me…both of you. You first," he said pointing at Asuka, unwilling to speak her name. "And then you Ayanami. And Ayanami-

Since she was being addressed, Ayanami turned her head slowly to Shinji and looked at him.

"If you feel like someone is behind us, let me know immediately. If you hear something like a click…don't hesitate to deploy your AT-field."

At Shinji's words, Asuka wheeled around to stare at Rei. She had always known that Rei was different, but an AT-field? Even Rei seemed somewhat surprised at Shinji's statement, because her eyes widened slightly, but she simply nodded her head instead of saying anything.

"Good. Glad we got that out of the way," said Shinji as he turned away from both of them and peered out of the elevator. After being sure that he didn't see anybody, or feel someone approaching through his AT-field, he walked swiftly out of the elevator and turned to walk down the hallway.

He could feel Asuka and Rei walking behind him, but he could almost feel the anger emitting off of Asuka. He was rather surprised she hadn't bitten his head off. But maybe the events from before were still weighing heavily on her mind.

'I wonder what everyone will do after this is all over?' Shinji suddenly thought.

As he thought this, he stopped in the middle of the hallway, meaning that Asuka almost crashed into.

"Why the fuck did you just stop moron!" she yelled at his back.

Looking over his shoulder at the angry Asuka and passive Rei, he said, "Sorry…I was just thinking what everyone would do after this is all over. Well, at least is if everyone is alive after this I suppose."

"What kind of a question is that?" retorted Asuka. "I'm not dying!"

Shinji watched her for a few seconds, during which Asuka realized that he was staring at her, and quickly turned her head away from him.

'What an idiot,' she thought while staring at the blank wall next to her.

"What about you then Ikari-kun?" asked Rei surprisingly speaking up.

If Asuka was surprised at the way Rei addressed Shinji, it was nothing compared to what Shinji felt.

"I honestly don't expect to make it through this," said Shinji without bothering to pause.

"What? So you expect to die?" asked Asuka with a slight laugh.

"I do actually," replied Shinji without any sign of hesitation. The smile on Asuka's face however dropped when she saw how serious Shinji was about dying.

'What do I care though,' she thought. 'It's not like it matters to me one way or another.'

Though as Shinji started walking forward again, it was Rei who stopped him this time.

"I do not think you should be thinking about dying Ikari-kun," she said

Shinji stopped in mid step as Rei said this, but didn't turn around. Asuka however who stood between them was turning from one to the other with a suspicious look on her face.

'Since when were they able to talk to each other in such a fashion?' she wondered.

"Never mind," said Shinji eventually, "just forget I said anything."

An indignant 'humph' escaped Asuka's lips as Shinji said this. Muttering slightly, she said, "Then why the hell did you bother stopping us for in the first place? Idiot!"

Many more minutes passed, during which they came closer to the elevator which would take Asuka and Rei down into Terminal Dogma.

"We should just continue on ahead," said Asuka, interrupting the silence from the last few minutes. "It's not like we have far to go anyway."

"Misato wanted me to escort you two, so that's exactly what I'm doing," Shinji replied.

"What part of 'I can't stand another minute with you' do you not under-WAHH!"

Shinji suddenly grabbed Asuka's right wrist and dragged her to the far right of the hallway. Many doors lined the hallway on either side, though Shinji had no idea what was concealed behind them. Thankfully though, the wall jutted out slightly so that three people could lean against the door and remain concealed from anybody walking down the hallway.

As Shinji pushed Asuka against one of the corners of the door he looked beside him to see Rei there. It seemed that she had seen his brief gesture before he had grabbed Asuka.

Spitting hair out of her mouth, Asuka scowled at Shinji as she raised the volume in her voice.

"What the fuck are you do-"

But Shinji cut her off with a sharp hiss that escaped between his teeth.

"Shut up for a minute," Shinji said quietly.

"What the fuck are you going on abou-"

But then Asuka heard footsteps coming from down the hallway. Thinking of peering around the corner silently, Shinji stopped her though as he tightened his grip on her wrist. He hadn't bothered to let go yet. Asuka glared back at him, but remained silent. Shinji meanwhile inhaled deeply before he looked carefully around the corner.

Far down the hallway were two security guards with submachine guns. They were walking towards Shinji and the other two.

"There are two security guards walking towards us," said Shinji the second he leaned up against the door again.

"So? Then they can help us," said Asuka.

Shinji was silent though. He didn't know why, but he was feeling paranoid all the sudden. Earlier, just before he grabbed Asuka's wrist, he had had a brief flash of a vision. It wasn't something he'd care to see happen. And Misato's words were weighing heavily on his mind.

Asuka, however, thought otherwise.

Breaking free of Shinji's grip on her, she darted out into the open hallway and stood in front of the two guards. If they were surprised to see her, Shinji felt equally surprised at how stupid a thing Asuka had just done.

"Dear God am I glad to see somebody helpful," started Asuka. "I'm the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 and with me is the First. We were ordered to head towards the elevator that would take us to Terminal Dogma. However, our escort is rather retarded, so I was hoping that you could lend your assistance."

It was amazing how formal Asuka could be while talking to an adult.

The soldiers looked at each then and nodded their heads as though coming to an agreement on something. Asuka, however, took that as them willing to help her.

"Thanks a lot. You have no idea how much help this-"

Both of the guards simultaneously raised their guns and pointed them at both her eyes, so that the crossfire would explode out different sides of her skull.

Asuka had just enough time to realize her mistake before she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. Hearing the sound of the discharged bullets leaving the barrel of the guns, she opened her mouth to scream, but when she opened her mouth, it was not her voice that resonated through the hallway, but the voice of a male in his early thirties.

As Asuka slowly opened her eyes, she saw a strange scene in front of her. Shinji was standing directly in front of her, being so close that she could have reached out and placed both her hands on his back. Rei was standing slightly to the right and in front of him; both of them had their AT-fields deployed, while the guards were on the ground with bloody stumps for their right hands.

Shinji winced as blood trickled down his right shoulder and left arm, staining his white shirt. He had almost been too slow. As the guards fired their weapons, Shinji moved directly in front of Asuka while deploying his AT-field. Shinji had managed to split the bullets in half, but the velocity from the front part of the bullets still managed to lodge themselves in his upper shoulder, and lower arm.

Rei had actually been the one that had disarmed the soldiers. As she saw what Shinji was doing, she reacted also. Moving in front of Shinji, seconds after he deployed his AT-field, she deployed hers. She had sliced the right hands off both the guards, making them drop their guns and rendering themselves useless.

Shinji now walked away from Asuka who was still standing shell shocked where moments ago, she had almost been shot. Standing beside Rei, Shinji looked down at both of the guards. One of them seemed to have already passed out from the blood loss, but the other still seemed to be conscious. Shinji quickly remedied that by smashing the heel of his shoe on the face of the guard, sending him quickly into unconscious. Shinji now understood why Misato had wanted him with these two. Rei could take care of herself, but Asuka was a different matter.

"It seems that the enemy has already infiltrated," said Rei, surprisingly speaking before Shinji.

"Yeah, and they've placed spies on the inside that carry guns. I just hope that not many more of them have been bought."

It was strange how easily money and a promise could change the allegiance of someone.

Turning around to face Asuka, Shinji couldn't hurt but feel a little sorry for her. However, it had entirely been her fault.

Walking up to her, he waited till her face was not pointed to the ground. Eventually, she raised her head up to look at him.

"Are you hurt?" was the first thing that came out of Shinji's mouth. But it didn't sound worried or sincere.

"No…I'm not," said Asuka after realizing that she was not

"That was very stupid…what you did. Didn't I say earlier not to barge ahead of me? If I had been one second late, you would have died."

"I know…" said Asuka as her face dropped back to facing the ground. "Sorry," she eventually mumbled.

Though Asuka didn't see it, relief seemed to wash over Shinji's face. Choosing that it would be better not to say anything, Shinji turned away from her and started walking towards there destination when he heard Asuka mumble words that were barely audible.

"Thank you…"

Shinji ignored her, knowing that it was better not to reply. Asuka however wasn't done talking.

"Misato told me something like this would happen…"

Shinji, against his will, turned around to face her and asked, "What did she say?"

"That Seele may have placed spies within our own ranks to find out what we were planning and the passages of Nerv."

"You should have told me this earlier, we would have been more careful."

"I know," mumbled Asuka.

"Forget it…it's in the past. Anyways…let's go already," said Shinji.

Rei nodded and started walking in step with Shinji, leaving Asuka to watch both of their retreating backs. She didn't know why, but she felt oddly resentful towards Rei. Maybe it was because she and Shinji were similar; that Rei was able to walk beside Shinji because she understood him.

'What kind of bullshit thinking is that?' wondered Asuka.

Hurrying up so that she was directly behind Shinji and Rei, she said, "I thought we were supposed to go in line?"

"You're right," replied Shinji without thinking about it for a minute. Nodding towards Rei, she paused to let Asuka in front of her, and resumed her position in the back.

"Much better," said Asuka as though she was mocking Rei. Shinji frowned inwardly at her superior attitude, but next second winced as he felt several sharp splinters of pain hit his body.

"Oi, move forward idiot! Can't you see I'm ready?"

But still Shinji didn't move as the bullets were forced out of his body as new flesh caked over the wounds. The ends of the bullets fell to the floor with a clatter, making Asuka jump slightly.

"What was-" but then she looked down at the floor and saw the bullets. Though she couldn't see the front of Shinji's face, she saw that he had been in pain moments before.

'Idiot,' she thought. 'If he was hurt, he should have just said something…we could have waited.'

Without saying anything about his wounds, Shinji continued walking towards the elevator with Asuka and Rei behind him. Though nobody talked, there was an air of understanding between the three of them.

As they neared the elevator, Shinji became increasingly anxious. Several times he had them pause and hide somewhere as he felt the AT-fields of people near them, but nothing like before happened again.

Finally reaching the elevator, Shinji paused for a minute to be sure that nobody was around before he pressed on the down button that would take Asuka and Rei down into Terminal Dogma. When the elevator arrived, he nodded towards both Asuka and Rei while mumbling, "Get it."

Rei followed obediently, but Asuka for some reason stayed back. Shinji was rather surprised by this, considering she had been desperate to get away from him earlier. After waiting for a few minutes though, he said, "Get in already. Weren't you just wanting to get away from me a while ago?"

Asuka frowned at him and said, "Why should I really? I'm an Evangelion pilot like yourself. I can help!"

"First and foremost," started Shinji, "your Evangelion is out of commission, and you are nothing like me. I am able to help in different ways because I am not entirely human."

"I can still help other ways!" shouted Asuka. "I learned how to fire a gun and had hand to hand combat training at the Nerv headquarters in Germany."

"Can you kill somebody up close with a gun? Can you choke away the life of another human being?"

Asuka opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She was rather startled at Shinji's question, but it was all the hesitation he needed. Grabbing her again by her right wrist, he dragged her in front of the elevator before pushing her roughly through the door where Rei surprisingly caught her by the shoulders.

"What are you-" Asuka shouted at both Shinji and Rei.

"You'll be too much of a nuisance if you stay here and try to help. Its better if you go down into Terminal Dogma," said Shinji.

"You bastard! Just because I'm not you-"

"You should be glad you're not me," retorted Shinji angrily. "As I said, you can't be of any help. So just say down there until somebody either calls you up, or until…"

Shinji didn't want to think of that possibility, but it wasn't as though he could rule it out.

"Forget it," he said hurriedly.

Though as he stepped back so that Rei could push the button that would close the doors and send them on their way, Asuka suddenly drew her fist backwards and shouted with every intention of hitting Shinji, "Just because I'm not special like you doesn't mean I can't help you…you…YOU IDIOT!"

Swinging her fist forward, Shinji easily caught it without batting an eyelash and twisted it upwards, making Asuka's eyebrows twitch with pain.

"I don't have time to deal with this," mumbled Shinji.

Leaning down next to Asuka's ear, he inhaled her scent which he had been so accustomed to smelling early mornings in Misato's apartment just after she took a shower.

"If you tried to do what I'm going to do, you wouldn't last a second moron." Though he said moron, his voice held no malice or spite in it.

"Furthermore…I couldn't be looking over my shoulder every second to be sure you were okay."

"You wouldn't have to, I'd-"

"Enough!" said Shinji silencing her quickly.

Placing both his hands on her shoulders he pushed her back into the elevator. But it was different than the other times he had pushed or shoved her. It was both caring and gentle, something Asuka had never felt before from him. And something else…it was almost…pleasant?

Feeling as though she was walking on air, Asuka fell back a few steps before she caught her balance and looked up into Shinji's face. He was smiling.

"See Ya….Ayanami…Asuka…"

Asuka's eyes widened as he spoke her name. She was certain that he had never used it before, and without knowing it herself, her feet started to carry her forward, as though they longed to be on that side with him, even if it put her in danger. But before she could get to him, the elevator doors closed in front of her, cutting off the boys smiling face in front of her.

Wheeling around to one side of the elevator, Asuka saw that Rei was standing next to the elevator and had her forefinger pressed down on the down button.

"Bring the elevator back up this instance!" Asuka shouted angrily at her.

"I am unable to do that," replied Rei.

"Why the fuck not?"

Rei was silent for a minute before she said, "Because Ikari-kun has made his decision."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" yelled Asuka. "You know what, I don't care. I'll bring the elevator back up there myself and drag his sorry ass down here with us."

As Asuka reached for the control panel though, Rei stopped her by grabbing the same wrist that that boys hand had held onto moments before.

"LET GO OF ME DAMN IT!" Asuka roared back at Rei

"I can't do that," replied Rei simply, not even raising her voice at all.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?"

"Because Ikari-kun has made his decision."

"Who the fuck are you to decide what his decision is. How could you….but I…"

It was then that Asuka finally understood something. What Shinji had been talking about earlier…about dying…and what the First had said.

"Don't tell me…that idiot…plans on dying?"

Asuka stared back at Rei, waiting for her to give some sort of answer, but when she didn't, Asuka grabbed her by the front of her school uniform and shouted at her-

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT!"

Just as she said this, the elevator doors opened, revealing many soldiers with assault rifles watching the confrontation in front of them. Asuka however seemed to notice that they had a group of people watching them now, because she let go of Rei's collar and took several steps back before turning around, making her hair whip across her face.

As she walked towards the soldiers, they created a path for her, as though Asuka had just created an invisible wall between her and the soldiers.

Continuing to walk down the corridor, she eventually saw an orderly waiting for her and nodded slightly towards him. He understood, and pointed in the direction of the bunker she and Rei would be residing in until further notice.

However, as Asuka neared the door at the end of the hall that was slightly ajar and leaking white light into the darkened hallway, she only thought one thing.

'I won't ever forgive you if you die Shinji.'

Though she didn't know it, she had spoken similar words before, but she couldn't remember them.

* * *

"Was there any trouble?" asked Misato.

"There was, as you thought," replied Shinji.

He was back in the command center and just telling Misato about the run in with the two 'guards.'

"And? What happened? Was anybody hurt?"

"Meaning Ayanami and Asuka? No, neither of them were hurt, but there are two guards who will have to learn to eat with their left hands most likely.

Misato smiled slightly at Shinji's joke, but continued on in a business like tone. This was after all not a time to be making jokes.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that, because I have another job for you to do."

Turning away from Shinji, she crossed her arms and bit her lip as she looked at the monitor.

"I was right in guessing that they had placed spies on the inside a while ago," said Misato, "but I hope that my next hunch is right also…"

"…Meaning?" asked Shinji after Misato didn't continue talking for a few seconds.

"We never expected them to give us the full hour to rethink the surrender, and this attempted attack as you were escorting Asuka and Rei is understandable now. I'm guessing they planned to catch us off guard, though I can't understand how they expected that to work."

"What does this have to do with me exactly?" asked Shinji.

Misato turned back around and addressed him as she said, "You said before that Gate 1 would most likely be the first to be attacked, and while this is true, I am more worried about Gates 5 and 6."

"Is it because of the Evangelions?"

"Precisely! Gates 5 and 6 are closer to the Evangelions, with Gate 5 being the less defendable of the two. Shinji, I want you to go alone, and man the defenses of Gate 5. This is something that only you can do. I give you full authority to act as you see fit. If there is ever a time when you feel like you are being overwhelmed, I want you to retreat to the Evangelions chamber and board Unit 01. Though there is one thing I have to ask you to do. When you board Unit 01, you will need to destroy Unit 02, otherwise if another nation may capture it will be-"

"What!" asked Shinji cutting her off angrily. "You want me to destroy Unit 02, after I did my best to protect it."

"Shinji, other nations may try to capture Unit 02. We can't let that happen."

"So! What about the other combat models like Unit 03? I thought that they were developing other Units in other nations?"

"While that is what I had assumed," replied Misato, whose voice had risen slightly, "it seems that at some point in the productions of the other Eva Units, all personal and resources were moved over to work on the mass produced Eva Units. Unit 01 and Unit 02 are the last remaining models since the Prototype and Unit 03 were destroyed."

"I don't care," said Shinji refuting both of Misato's statements. "I can't destroy Unit 02."

"Why?" asked Misato. "Or are you suggesting that Asuka pilot it again?"

"I never said that!" yelled Shinji lashing out at her, but Misato held her ground.

"Weren't you the one who didn't want her involved with the Evangelions anymore?"

"I was…but…"

Taking a rather deep breath, Shinji said-

"Misato I…while I was fighting Unit 02 when Kaoru was controlling it, Unit 02 broke free of his control over it and…something happened. Asuka…Asuka's mother is residing in Unit 02…it's the same thing as my mother…"

Misato blinked several times to hold her surprise instead of shouting out. She had met Asuka's mother several times during her trips to the Nerv branch of Germany, and even at one point wondered abou the connection between Unit 02, Asuka, and her mother, but had always thought her suspicions had been groundless.

"Did you…talk to her?" Misato finally asked.

Shinji had to think back to that instance when he had thought he'd heard her speak. Everything had happened so fast, that even now, it seemed like a blur.

"I didn't really talk to her," said Shinji after a moments pause. "It was more like…I just understood what she was trying to tell me."

"What was that?"

"Well…after Unit 02 broke free of Kaoru's control, or he let go of it, I don't really know, it seemed…angry at me, or I should say Asuka's mother was angry at me, for what I did to Asuka."

Misato nodded her head to show that she understood.

"I realized then how important this was to Asuka, and how important Asuka was to her mother. I couldn't bring myself to destroy it…and I still can't do it. I don't know if this is a favor to Asuka from me, my last, but I still can't destroy it. It's like…a part of her…"

Misato understood well enough Shinji's feelings on the matter, but she still thought that it would be better to destroy Unit 02, as cold hearted as that sounded. Unit 02 held no value to Nerv, but it held great value to other nations. It was probably the reason that so many nations took part in the attack on Nerv: they all wanted to capture an Evangelion and strengthen there nation with it. But if Shinji was going to stand in her way…after all, only another Eva could destroy Unit 02 at this point.

"Fine then," said Misato after resigning to Shinji's request. "You can do what you see fit with Unit 02."

"Thank you Misato," said Shinji before he turned around and started walking towards the elevator that he had just been in.

"Shinji…wait just a minute," said Misato to Shinji's retreating back.

"Yes?" asked Shinji as he looked over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that…I ask all this of you, but I can't-"

"Don't worry about it Misato," replied Shinji as he continued walking away from her. "Just consider this as me paying off my debt from living in your apartment for those six months"

And with that, he disappeared through the door of the elevator, leaving Misato standing there in the command center.

Misato however issued a silent prayer then, having never prayed before in her life. She wished that her, Asuka, and Shinji could go back to the days before all this, when they blissfully spent there days living together in her apartment.

Her prayer was never founded however…

* * *

Shinji stood in front of a giant metal door with the word Gate 5 in red letters spewed across it. This was where the enemy was expected to attack first if they were headed towards the Evangelion Units. Shinji would fight all alone here, as he preferred it. Nobody would be injured in case he went out of control.

Walking away from the gate though, he walked some ways to the far right side of the wall and propped himself up against it. If he had to be honest with himself, he was rather looking forward to fighting against armed soldiers whose only purpose was taking his life. He even rather wished that they would drive a tank through the gate. At least then his AT-field would have something to do other then blocking bullets.

He held no qualms about injuring the enemy if it prolonged his own life and weakened them. It was simply easier to refer to them as the enemy now, or the opposition. If he started thinking about them as other human beings, his resolve may waver.

He wondered about many things as he leaned against the wall and waited for the attack, how he would die, what would happen to everyone if Seele won, and what that bastard would do.

He didn't think about him that much admittedly. He knew that he had his own version of Third Impact that differed from Seele's, but he couldn't really know what his actual intentions were. He figured it had something to do with the DNA he had stolen from him though.

As he thought of that bastard though, his thoughts turned towards his mother. Even since he had come to know that his mother was right beside him every time he stepped into the entry plug of Unit 01, he had found it easier to pilot, even enjoyable sometimes. But he now wondered whether his mother had known what she was putting her son through when she…well…it was best not to think about the specifics. But Shinji did remember how she had never referred to Gendo as 'your father' when they had briefly talked. She had only referred to him as 'Gendo' making it seem that they held no special attachment except for being in the same college class. So Shinji often wondered why that bastard was so determined to see his mother again.

Though as his mind wandered farther, they eventually settled on a certain someone. He didn't want to think about her right, because if he knew, then he would start to lose concentrating. He wasn't sure even how, but she still managed to get under his skin and make him drop his guard.

'And what had earlier been all about?' wondered Shinji as he continued thinking about Asuka.

She was obviously angry that she wasn't able to help out in anyway, but her actions had seemed different then what he had expected. Maybe he had been too nice to her? Maybe he had talked too much with her? All Shinji knew was that those last few moments spent with Asuka standing in front of the elevator, were incredibly hard for him.

He had meant what he said when he said she would be a nuisance if she came with him, but he was surprised at how persistent she had been. And those last few moments as she seemed to waver, and her feet seemed to start carrying her towards him…he was just glad that Rei had activated the elevator before she had made it to him. It was likely that she would have followed him all the way back to the command center, and would be leaning against this wall with him as they waited for the enemy to attack.

But above all else, he couldn't help but remember that brief feeling that had welled up inside him, as though a sliver of the former Shinji Ikari had broken through.

'After all….I suppose that I still lo-'

Everything froze as Shinji stopped his chain of thought. He suddenly noticed several AT-fields moving to him on the other side of the gate.

'About time too,' he thought, 'I was starting to get all sentimental about my former self.'

Pushing himself off the wall, he walked over to the Gate and stood forty feet away from it with his hands in his pockets.

As the AT-fields converged around the gate, Shinji felt that they were placing something directly in the middle of it and wiring something together.

'Must be C-4,' thought Shinji as he took his right hand out of his pocket and let it hang at his side.

As the soldiers moved backwards, Shinji smiled slightly just as the explosion went off, pushing the metal inward and spraying metal and shrapnel inside the hallway. If anybody had been standing directly in front of it, they would have been decapitated. Shinji, who had been a good forty feet away still caught some of the debris, but everything that hit his AT-field immediately disintegrated.

Next second though, a serious of clicks sounded and the soldiers high powered rifles went off, creating a hail of bullets that peppered the inside of the hallway. The C-4 had mainly been used as a means of disorienting the enemy, while the bullets would be used to finish them off. Of course, neither of them really had an impact on Shinji.

With the breaking in finished, the first soldiers started to walk towards the large gap that had been made in the middle of the gate. Unhesitatingly, Shinji swung his right arm projecting his AT-field and cutting the gate off at the very top where the hinges normally opened it. The gate fell straight down, instantly cutting off the heads of several soldiers who were the unlucky few to be the first to enter Nerv. The others wouldn't be so quick die to the same way.

The gate now fell backwards towards the soldiers, creating something like a plank so the soldiers could walk up it and enter Nerv. Though seeing this suddenly gave Shinji an idea. Bending down, he grabbed a twist piece of metal that had been part of the door and threw it several into the air before he caught it again. Suddenly, his arm shot outwards as he flung the metal piece towards the soldiers. It struck the one in front, startling him so much that he accidentally discharged a round from his rifle which struck a buddy close to him. Shinji could even hear the hollers and screams of pain from this distance. It seemed that he had thrown the enemy into disarray, making him wonder if these were really soldiers, and not just regular policemen.

'I don't think its really going to be this easy though,' thought Shinji as what seemed like the leader of the group started to get his men under control.

The soldiers seemed even more cautious now. Going in single file with four in front, the crouched down as low as they could go, and started slowly making there way up the makeshift plank.

'Now what,' thought Shinji as he looked around as though expecting somebody to be standing there and handing him a machine gun. But of course, all he had was his AT-field to rely on.

The first four soldiers reached the top of the plank, and fired a three round burst from each of their guns. Shinji reflexively deployed his AT-field, easily blocking the bullets that neared him. There was still some dust and smoke in the air from when the Gate 5 door and crashed down, but the soldiers could now see a definable enemy, and it looked like only one person.

The four soldiers that reached the top fanned out as the ones behind them made their way up and over the plank before rolling down and looking for a suitable place for cover. Soon, Shinji was taking fire from every place but behind of him.

'Shit,' he thought as he saw the situation unfolding in front of him. 'I can't let myself get boxed in.'

Taking several steps back, he took the risk of not blocking any bullets for a brief instance, and brought his right arm searing downward through the air. His AT-field shot outwards, slicing a path directly on either sides of the fighting soldiers, instantly dissipating the smoke and dust that had been circulating in the air moments before. The rain of bullets stopped almost as quickly as it had started, as the soldiers witnessed the bright flash of orange in front of them. Shinji was revealed to them then, and he didn't look like a scared boy at all; he was more like a terrifying god who had descended from the heavens in order to punish the wicked. Many of the soldiers looked to the other next to them, unsure of what to do. They had heard reports that the enemy used strange and evil weapons that held enormous power to defeat there enemies, but they had never believed any of it. Now though…

The commanding officer though of the company of soldiers didn't believe in mythical powers of any kind, and knew that it had to be a trick of some kind. Yelling at his men closest to him, he told them not to be afraid of the little boy in front of them. They had orders to kill everyone they met after all.

Shinji however heard what he had said also, and mercilessly dealt out his punishment. With a speed surpassing normal humans, his right armed turned into a blur in that brief instance, as he brought it down to attack the office. His AT-field seemed to jump from himself to the officer, so that to the soldiers watching, it looked almost like he had thrown a grenade or something. Shinji's AT-field sliced into the left wrist of the officer who had his left hand placed underneath the barrel of the gun as he held the trigger guard with his right hand. The barrel of the gun was sliced clean off along with his left hand, creating a shower of blood as he yelled with his maimed arm over his left. Squeezing off a few rounds as he tried to aim his gun at Shinji, almost all of them missed him except for one, which only managed to graze his cheek. Shinji still wasn't fazed by almost having his head taken off.

Lashing outward with his AT-field again, he sliced into the upper bicep of the man's right arm this time, cutting apart the muscle so that it dangled halfway off the bone. The officer screamed in pain as he lost the feeling in his entire right arm, dropping the gun as it became too heavy for him. Blood continued pouring out of both wounds before his eyes turned upwards as the whites shown, and he passed out.

All the soldiers that had seen this still had there guns pointed towards Shinji, but as Shinji looked towards each of them, they slowly started lowering their guns. As word spread from soldier to soldier that the commanding officer had been taken down in a matter of seconds by some unknown power, all the fight went out of them. Eventually, Shinji had all of them rounded up in front of them. Their guns he had taken, and just to show them a glimpse of what he was capable of, smashed them all in seconds as he crushed them with his AT-field. He told them that if they moved so much an inch, or gave any sign of fighting back, they could join the officer who seemed to have died from the blood loss. Shinji wasn't exactly pleased by the death, but if it had only taken one death to reign in the others; he supposed it was a good trade off.

"Now then," Shinji said as he addressed the soldiers in front of him. All of them were sitting on the ground a good ways in front of him. Shinji told them that they didn't need to bother with putting their hands behind their heads, as even if they did try to strike him, their fist would vanish before it could even reach Shinji's face.

"I want to know which nation you are all from…"

This wasn't a question, it was a demand, so Shinji hoped they understood.

"Ger-Germany Sir," spoke one of the soldiers nearest to him.

"Is that right?" asked Shinji as he looked towards the soldier. "Is everyone here from Germany?"

"Yes Sir…"

Shinji smiled slightly at being addressed as sir. He could get used to that.

"I see," mumbled Shinji more to himself than to the others.

He had somewhat guessed that the first nation to try to attack the Evangelion Units would be Germany. Germany, after all, was where Unit 02 had been manufactured and produced, so it was understandable if Germany would want their Eva Unit back. It wasn't to far a stretch to guess that they were the ones most knowledgeable about where the other Units were kept either.

"What about the Nerv facility in Germany? What happened to it?"

"It was stormed yesterday, but the combatants gave up without a struggle."

"So then why go to the trouble of killing just us?"

"I-I don't know sir. I've just a soldier after all. I-I just follow orders."

Shinji could sympathize with that, because he had sort of been a soldier himself. Just blinding following the orders of someone he thought was once his father.

"Fine, I don't have anything else to ask you."

As Shinji turned away from them, almost all the soldiers flinched as though they expected to die at that instance. But Shinji had no intention of doing anything of the sort. Instead, he went back to the wall he had been leaning against earlier, and folded his arms as his head dropped to his chest.

The soldiers seemed to realize then that he didn't have any plans for them, and they all stood up rather confused at what they were supposed to do now. But Shinji gave them an idea nonetheless.

"Why are you still sticking around here you idiots? Most people are unlike me, and won't hesitate to kill if it means prolonging their life. I don't like killing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stand aside and let you hurt the people who are important to me. Surely most, if not all of you have a family, or somebody important to you in your lives. Don't be so eager to throw your life away just because some told you to."

"Then…you have somebody important to you also sir?" asked one of them, not only surprising the others but Shinji as well.

"Yes and no," he replied after a pause. "I have people who are important to me, but the difference is that I'm likely not going to see them again."

"…Why is that sir?" asked the soldier, now feeling rather nervous about having a conversation with somebody who could kill them all in an instance if he felt like it.

"Because the mark of death has already been placed on me," said Shinji cold heartedly. It was a matter of how easily Shinji spoke this, that made the soldiers take a few steps away from him. They all knew the risks about being in a firefight of any kind, but this fifteen year old boy had already accepted the fact that he would die soon, and didn't seem that all put off about it.

"Now if you're done asking stupid questions, you'd better clear out, before I have a change of heart."

All it took was this simple sentence to have the soldiers scrambling amongst each other as they tried to be the first one out, as if the last one out would die. But Shinji laughed silently at how quickly they had thrown away their pledge to their country.

'A human is still a human after all,' thought Shinji. 'Strip away his pride and his power and he reverts back to his meek self.'

Even so though, the conversation he had had with them was rather refreshing, that is, being able to talk to other humans that he didn't know.

"I hope the next batch of armed forces is going to be similar," mumbled Shinji. "At this rate, I may be able to get away with only a few casualties, though I suppose that's only wishful thinking."

The first group of soldiers they had sent in had been from Germany, meaning that they may be somewhat sympathetic with Nerv's cause. The next though wouldn't be like that.

"Looks like I've got a long road ahead of me," sighed Shinji as he picked up a small piece of metal, and threw it over the fallen down gate where it fell out into the open sunlight.


	29. Destruction

**Well, I'm still around, even though schools started now; I'm down in California, Burbank to be exact. So updates are going be slower now, but still coming. So this is getting close to be done at least, and hopefully by Christmas it _will_ be done.**

* * *

Shinji didn't know how many waves of enemy soldiers he had been through, only that he had lost track at about seven.

As he had predicted, the soldiers after the German group were less sympathetic towards Nerv; some even seemed to take pleasure in what they had been assigned to do, but Shinji quickly corrected that mentality.

The total number of casualties had reached double digit numbers, and that was all Shinji knew. At one point, he had been forced to dismember each soldier in this one company that attacked him, killing many of them from blood loss. That fight alone had probably netted over ten deaths. He wasn't proud of what he had to do, however, he didn't regret the decision either. It was either him or them after all.

Since his first battle with the German soldiers, Gate 5 had turned into something similar to the remnants of a bomb shelter during World War II. The actually gate had been completely blown apart during one of the attacks, and Shinji still wasn't sure how it had happened. The metal floor which had once been shiny, now had two inches of dust coating the top of it, while rock and metal lay above the two inches. Bullet holes were numerous along the walls and ceiling, with the casings spent by the soldiers littered the floor in front of the gaping hole that admitted them. The entire air was choked with dust and smoke, making it increasingly harder to breathe for both Shinji, and the soldiers, but they at least could use oxygen masks if necessary.

Shinji himself was starting to grow weary. He had not been hit at all yet, but he had several grazes, and even more near fatal hits. Even if he was hit though, he would always just regenerate the damaged tissue, but it was more a problem with losing his concentration after he was hit. He could handle two, maybe three bullets, but if he turned into something like the wall behind him, he didn't think any amount of time could regenerate the destroyed tissue.

He had just finished fighting another wave of enemy soldiers, these men being extremely determined it seemed to break through past him. He guessed that the word was that he was starting to get tired, which was unfortunately becoming true.

Leaning against a tattered wall, he wiped some of the sweat off his brow before sinking down to the ground, stretching his legs out before him.

He really didn't know how many more of these he could handle; each one was becoming more and more difficult, and the soldiers seemed to be figuring out ways of combating him. He was only a fifteen year old kid after all, and going up against people that could hit an apple at two hundred yards away.

'I knew it wouldn't be easy, but this is starting to wear me down,' he thought while picking up several stones and throwing them towards the gaping hole that used to be Gate 5.

He sat in this spot every time he defeated another wave of enemies, and always wondered how the other parts of Nerv were doing. Gates 5 and 6 weren't far apart, and if he suddenly had enemies shooting behind and in front of him, he wouldn't last long. He had no way of contacting Misato or the others in the command center, but she had trusted him to do what he saw fit, so it was unlikely she would contact him.

During these times though, he found that his mind didn't really drift towards Asuka, as much as it surprised himself. Maybe it was because he knew that she was in such a closed off area; that he had no chance of seeing her again and that it was altogether pointless to think of her. This brought some peace to his mind though, because it let him focus on what he had to do.

Picking up another stone, he was about to throw it towards the gaping hole when he paused suddenly. Was he imagining it, or was the ground shaking slightly?

Sitting up now, he placed a hand against the ground and waited for a few seconds. He was almost certain this time. He could feel the slight shifting of the powdery dust that coated the top of the metal flooring. As he looked to his left and right now, he saw that the small pieces of rock and metal seemed to be vibrating slightly.

'What is that?' thought Shinji.

He didn't feel anybody approaching him, which made him wonder if something hadn't happened somewhere else in Nerv. But why would the floor be vibrating, unless something happened underneath Nerv? But that was a dumb thought, they shouldn't have been able to penetrate into Terminal Dogma this quickly. It hadn't even been an hour since the initial attack.

'Then what the hell is it?' he thought again.

But all at once, it stopped, as suddenly as it had started.

Shinji waited a few more seconds for the vibrating to start back up, but when it didn't, he stood up and kicked a rock to relieve some of the tension built up in him. For a brief instance, he had thought it had been an Evangelion.

"Stupid," he mumbled as he shook his head.

Brushing the dust that had landed on his pants off, he walked over to the large hole in the wall and looked out.

Tokyo-3 looked like a ghost town now, and Shinji wouldn't have been surprised to see a tumble weed go by like in those old westerns. The city had been evacuated, but that didn't seem to stop Seele. Many of the large skyscrapers had gaping holes in them from missile strikes, and some of them were on fire. Shinji didn't see the point of destroying the city if the inhabitants had left, but if it distracted them for a bit, he supposed he was thankful.

Turning away from the ruin of Tokyo-3, he started walking back inside the remains of Gate 5's terminal when he felt a large number of AT-fields approaching him again. They seemed to be moving fast, making him guess that they wouldn't be on foot this time.

'The holes too small though, they can't fit a vehicle in here though,' thought Shinji with a frown on his face.

But then he felt and saw something else. What he felt was the vibrations again, except that this time, he saw what was making them, and he had to hold back a sudden laugh that threatened to surge of his throat. Really, that half-hearted wish was really just a joke, but he was rather thrilled that they were taking him so seriously.

Standing in front of Gate 5, he looked down the road where several large trucks filled with heavily armed men drove toward him, all grim faced and not joking. Behind them, however, was what had made him almost laugh.

As the convoy of soldiers neared Shinji, he saw the thing behind them take aim at the entrance to Nerv. He rather doubted that they had even spotted him yet, thinking to bury him with the first shot if possible. There conceitedness would be their undoing.

Shinji saw the flash, and very briefly the smoke as it discharged from the barrel before he swung his right arm downward, projecting his AT-field in front of him and shielding him from the blast. The tank shell struck his AT-field dead on, exploding behind and to the left and right. The buildings on either side got hit by shrapnel as the shell exploded, shattering windows and ripping apart several cloth awnings. The blast radius exploded outward by ten feet, with Shinji being in the center. Asphalt was thrown up into the air as the explosion left a hole in the pavement. Hot smoke was blown right into Shinji's face, searing his skin and blinding him momentarily. Knowing what would come next, he braced himself as he felt the AT-fields of the soldiers approaching him preparing to fire.

Small arms fire erupted from both the trucks that neared him, but of course the bullets vaporized the second they hit Shinji's AT-field. With the smoke from the tank shell starting to clear from a sea breeze coming from the Sea of Japan, Shinji could clearly see what he was up against. The tank that had fired at him was starting to move closer now, and seemed to be preparing for another shot. Knowing that he didn't have long, Shinji quickly ran out from the smoke and charged at the two oncoming trucks. His intention was to make it so the tank wouldn't fire at friendly targets, but either the gunner of the tank was not of the same nationality as the people in the trucks, or he simply didn't care.

The barrel of the tank recoiled as another round exploded out of it, firing straight at Shinji and one of the trucks. Swearing within his own mind, Shinji did something which he had wanted to try, but never had the time for it. He didn't know what the AT-field was made out of, only that it seemed to be a mass of raw energy that could not be measurable. What it did seem though, was that it had a certain density to it, because of the mass of energy. Using his AT-field as something like a spring board, he managed to jump over the hood and windshield of the truck, before hitting the top of it and rolling painful across the top before he hit the hard pavement. Rolling over, he put everything he had into his AT-field before the shell struck it.

His AT-field expanded so that it reached both the right and left sides of the roads before the shell struck it. The explosion happened, inches away from Shinji's face this time, instantly giving him third degree burns from the burning hot smoke that hit his face. Another crater was created in the middle of the road, flinging asphalt in all directions.

Wincing painfully as his burns started healing, Shinji heard the squeal of tires as the trucks he had evaded turned around to chase after him again.

'You think they'd be more grateful after I just saved their asses,' thought Shinji angrily.

Forcing himself to stand up, he started running at the tank, getting closer all the while. The gunner seemed to realize that he wouldn't be able to ready another shell, because he opened up with the machine gun that was placed alongside the main gun. Easily destroying the bullets, Shinji continued racing towards the tank while all the while he heard the screech of tires behind him. It was the one situation he didn't want to find himself in. If they started firing behind him, then he would have to create a dome like AT-field to protect himself with. But then they could attack him on all sides and whittle him down. He couldn't let that happened.

Now close enough to the tank, he brought his right arm down, slicing off the barrel of the main gun with his AT-field, which sliced it like butter. Running along the side of the tank now, he was able to ignore the machine gun which couldn't hit him now. Swinging his arm again, he sliced apart the treads of the tank so that it couldn't move. He didn't want to kill the people that were inside, but he didn't want them able to attack him either. Using his AT-field in a similar way as he had used it to jump over the truck, he jumped on top of the tank and slammed his AT-field against the hatch of the tank, making the metal crumple like paper. The soldiers were trapped in there now.

Sliding down the front of it, he paused briefly as a rain of bullets hit his AT-field from the trucks which were almost to him, before turning to the machine gun left. It was so small that it melded right into the metal plating of the tank. Shinji felt rather sorry for what he was going to do, and hoped that whoever was inside wouldn't be too badly injured, because next second, he sliced apart the metal plating that housed the gun clean apart, creating a large hole that somebody may be able to squeeze through. Hearing a brief shriek of pain, Shinji knew that somebody had likely just lost a hand, but he didn't have time to dwell on the subject.

Behind him, the trucks had reached him, and were pounding the tank with bullets. Jumping back on top the tank, Shinji blocked more bullets before he slid down the other side and crouched down briefly behind the tank to catch his breath. He had never noticed it much before now, but he supposed that his physical attributes had been enhanced significantly because of his awakening as an angel. He certainly never could or _would _do any of the crazy things he just did if he was a normal human, even with being the pilot of an Evangelion.

Knowing that the soldiers would most likely be exiting the truck right about now, he looked around one side of the tank and had to pull his head back as several rounds ricocheted off the side of the metal plating.

'Damn it,' he thought briefly, before dashing along the other side, simultaneously creating his AT-field. He startled the soldier in front which seemed to be the company officer. Shattering the gun of the officer, he proceeded to slice off both his fore and index fingers before continuing on.

Hearing the shrill cry of their leader, every soldier converged on that one side of the tank. The soldiers crawled over the broken down tank and pointed their guns down the other side, only to find their office down on his knees with blood dripping out of his destroyed fingers. White bone was sticking out of the stubs, and the ends were laying on the ground in an increasing pool of blood.

"Find that bastard!" he shrieked at the men surrounding him.

Suddenly from behind them, the sound of nails on a chalk board was heard as one of the trunks was split cleanly in two with a flash of orange. In between the large gap created from the severed truck, only half of Shinji's face could be seen. To the soldiers who witnessed this scene, he looked like a demon.

"Throw down your guns and I'll spare you," Shinji spoke in a voice he hoped sounded menacing, because he was reaching the end of his stamina.

"Don't listen to him!" screamed the officer while cradling his bloody hands. "He's almost gotta be close to-"

But his words were cut off as the second truck was sliced apart. Shinji was also reaching the end of his patience.

"I could kill you all in a mere instance if I want, but I'm giving you a chance to surrender. I destroyed that tank you brought along with you, even though it seemed like the gunner didn't care whether you lived or died. You say that I'm close to getting tired? Does this look like the work of somebody who's getting tired? I could go on doing all day!"

Shinji hoped this was believable, because in truth, he was lying between his teeth. It was getting difficult just standing up. The shell shock from the tank's shell seemed to have hit him, making it difficult from him to see straight or walk straight.

"Don't believe him," said the officer, but with much less certainty this time.

Shinji laughed at that.

"Do you know how many stubborn officers I've put down today because they thought I was getting weary? I don't think you want to make that same mistake...do you?"

Shinji seemed to have gotten his point across, because next second, the officer told his men to throw down their guns. Shinji walked around the other side of the destroyed trucks then, and crushed the guns that they had thrown down with his AT-field. Then he told them that if they wanted, they could try and rescue the men trapped in the truck, but it seemed that he had been right about two different groups belonging to different nationalities. They had simply met and forged a brief alliance to try and kill him. If they had actually coordinated there attack, it might have worked.

After making sure that every last one of them didn't have any other weapons on them, Shinji ordered them to walk in the opposite direction and to not turn back until they found friendly allies. Himself, he started walking in the opposite direction also, back to the remains of Gate 5. He was exhausted. He had said he'd rather wish that they'd drive a tank through the gate, but he never thought they'd actually try it.

Walking back under the Gate 5 terminal which resembled a bombed out shelter, he leaned against the wall for a minute so that he could regain his equilibrium. He didn't know why it had taken the shell shock so long to settle in. Maybe it was because of the adrenaline that was likely pumping through his body, but he didn't know.

"I suppose I have to say farewell to this place now," mumbled Shinji. He knew that if he continued, the last fight here would likely be his last. He needed to regain his energy, and more importantly, find out what was happening elsewhere.

Pushing himself off the wall, he walked a little ways into Nerv before turning around and swinging his arm once. His AT-field sliced into the wall on either side of the entrance to the Gate 5 terminal, taking away the support beams which had been holding it in place. The ceiling started crumbling away as the weight couldn't be held anymore, eventually sending large pieces of rock and rubble cascading down until the entrance into Nerv via Gate 5 was blocked.

"Now they really will have to drive a tank through there if they want to break through," laughed Shinji as he turned away and hurried to the Evangelions chamber.

* * *

Asuka couldn't remember a time when she had been more bored...well, maybe a few times during her college days. Sometimes she had fallen asleep during the more boring classes, the Japanese ones for instance, and right now, she wished that she could fall asleep.

The bunker that her and Rei in was nothing more than a giant square room, lit with florescent lights that hung from the ceiling. The walls were white, like almost everywhere else in Nerv, but it was a matter of how empty the room was. Misato's apartment was starting to look very lively right now.

A wooden table sat in the middle of the room, with several wooden back chairs placed around it. The wood was cheap, something that you'd see in a rundown coffee shop in the lower districts of towns. The only door in and out of the room was the one that Asuka and Rei had entered through. The door was made out of a thick metal platting, similar to that of what the plating protecting the Geofront was made out of; in fact, the entire outer casing of the room was likely coated in that material.

Asuka herself had not chosen to sit at the table though, choosing instead a blank piece of wall on the other side of the room. The reason for this decision was because of the person sitting at the table. Rei hadn't said a word since she had spoken in the elevator, and Asuka preferred it that way. If she so much as opened her mouth, as unlikely as that sounded, Asuka would most likely hit her.

She hated this; this waiting without knowing what was going on. It had at least been an hour since she had-

A frown passed of her face as she thought of that boy, that stupid boy who refused her help. What did he hope to accomplish by himself? What _could _he even accomplish by himself? Asuka didn't know what he had in mind, or whether he planned on dying or not. But she wasn't about to forgive him if he did die, and took whatever he knew about her to the grave. She couldn't accept that, knowing that he knew something about her memories, something, that for some reason, he and everyone else didn't seem to want to tell her. She even briefly wondered if the stupid First had been in on the secret.

Looking over at Rei for a brief moment, she saw that the girl in question was reading a book that she seemed to have brought along with her.

'Well aren't we prepared,' thought Asuka bitterly as she watched Rei turn a page of the book she was reading. Watching this socially inept person though only brought a sour taste to her mouth, because she turned her head away the next second, determined not to look at her.

Titling her head backwards, she stared up at the ceiling and into one of the bright florescent lights. She wanted to know what the situation was above the surface, but knew that the guards stationed outside the bunker wouldn't tell her even if she begged...not that she had any intention of doing that though.

'What has come over me?' thought Asuka as the light above her flickered slightly. 'Since when have I cared about other people? Its almost like...I don't want to lose the people around me. Is that why I'm worrying about whats happening up there so much?'

This bugged Asuka. She had been right before; she couldn't recognize herself anymore. But what had made her change then? Or maybe it had always been there deep inside her, the longing to finally find people that cared about her, and that she in turn could care about.

'But even if everyone survives all this, I'll have to move back to Germany. I'll see Misato I suppose...but some of the others...'

Her mind for some reason drifted to a certain boy when she thought this, but she shook her head to clear her mind of his face.

'No...thats not just it,' she thought. 'But he is...'

She didn't really know what he was to her...not yet at least, but she intended to find out when this was all over.

'Even if I have to slap his dead body back to life,' thought Asuka grimly as she folded her arms across her knees and placed her head in them, slowly drifting into sleep.

* * *

Shinji didn't run into anyone on his way to the Evangelions chamber, but he hadn't assumed he would; all non militaristic personal had taken shelter somewhere.

As he ran into the Evangelions chamber, and it opened up before him, he paused for a minute to catch his breath, his hands placed on his knees as he bent over. Looking up into the face of Unit 01, he couldn't help but feel that this was likely the last time that he would be entering it. They had been through a lot together after all.

Smiling slightly, Shinji rushed towards Unit 01, ignoring the plug suit that had been readied for him. He wouldn't need it. But as he was about to climb the long ladder that would place him in the entry plug of Unit 01, he stopped again and looked to his left. Evangelion Unit 02 stood there, its body still mangled and destroyed. Shinji had honestly forgotten about it; forgotten that Misato had wanted him to destroy it, but that he had refused her. When it came to it though, he didn't really know what he was gonna do to it, if he didn't destroy it. He could hardly carry it over Unit 01's back and fight at the same time.

'I'll block off the entrance before I leave,' thought Shinji, 'that way nobody will be able to enter.'

It wasn't the best plan in the world, but he couldn't think of anything better.

Stepping into Unit 01's entry plug, the automatic hydraulic system pushed the entry plug into the back of Unit 01's head, and Shinji felt his synchronization with the Eva commence.

'_Well look at you boy, all grown up and all.'_

Though seemingly impossible, Shinji choked on the LCL fluid floating around him when he heard a voice he hadn't heard in forever.

"You! What are you doing back!"

'_Now thats not a very nice way of greeting the person who's helped you out so many times.'_

"Sorry...I just didn't expect it."

'_I suppose that congratulations are in order though, for maintaining your sanity through all of this. Not many people could have accepted the fact that their the child of something like Adam, and still act as though they are human.'_

"You knew about that!" shouted Shinji inside the Eva.

The voice laughed at him as it said, '_Of course I know about it, I've known about that since you were born those fifteen years ago. I was just waiting for you to learn the truth.'_

"Why didn't you ever tell me!"

'_Oh I gave hints about it as often enough as I deemed it necessary, but I was never going to come right out and tell you about it; it would have destroyed your mind. Now though, after you've experience many more things, and learned about your own powers, it was time I appeared before you again.'_

Shinji's anger turned to confusion.

"But you've never appeared before me, at least, not in a physical form..."

It almost seemed that his words had silenced the voice, but then-

'_Not quite true as a whole, though thats not to say we've ever truly met...'_

Shinji was even more confused by this statement.

"Which one is it then?" he asked.

'_Not telling anything,' _laughed the voice before it turned serious. '_Are you sure you've made the right decision though?'_

"What do you mean?" asked Shinji after a long pause.

'_Your power, your visions,' _said the voice growing impatient. '_Are you sure you chose the right path?'_

"Its a little late to second guess my decisions," mumbled Shinji.

'_But at this rate you'll die.'_

"You act like your worried about me."

'_I have my reasons,' _retorted the voice slightly cross.

"I've already prepared for the fact that I'd die," said Shinji eventually. "I don't believe that I've chosen wrong, and even if I did, I wouldn't have it any different way. Everything leading up to this was fun. Every moment spent with Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Ritsuko, Misato, Rebecca, Ayanami, and Asuka...I don't regret a moment that I've spent with them. The times we laughed, the sad times, all the times we argued; it hurts, but they're all engraved in my memory. So no, I don't regret the path that I've chosen. The only thing I regret is that I didn't get to spend more time with a lot of them." His mind specifically drifted towards Ayanami, who he had only gotten to know in these past few weeks, before they parted.

The voice was silent however, as though it was pondering everything that Shinji said, but Shinji still had something else to say.

"So? Was that good enough for you, or should I continue?"

'_No, its fine,' _said the voice. '_I just had to be sure you weren't second guessing yourself.'_

"Before we continue?" asked Shinji, guessing more than what the voice was letting on.

'_Correct,' _mumbled the voice, seemingly deep within its own thoughts.

"Then lets get this over with," sighed Shinji as Unit 01 activated and Shinji's eyes turned scarlet.

* * *

Science fiction is just that: fiction, its not real, which is why it is improbable that a being like Shinji, and Evangelion Unit 01 could exist in the physical word. But they do, and to the soldiers that witnessed the final activation of Unit 01 and Shinji's subsequent destruction of everything that he could touch, they all felt that they had stepped into a science fiction novel. A demon seemed to have been born at that moment when Unit 01 burst forth from Nerv.

A large section of the pyramid like structure was sheared completely off by the giant AT-field that Unit 01 generated as it forced its way out and into the Geofront. Winds reaching speeds of eighty miles an hour were generated; entire sections of earth were torn up and tossed into the air; trees were ripped out of the soil, their roots left dandling in the wind as they were tossed across the Geofront. The steps of Unit 01 created vibrations that reached deep down into the earths crust, making it so the soldiers in the vicinity had difficulty standing upright.

Looking across the battlefield, Shinji squinted as he looked for targets. A large number of helicopters were already headed towards him from the looks of it.

'As if those could do anything even if I stood here and let them attack me,' he thought smugly. Though just as he was about to destroy them all with a single of swipe of Unit 01's AT-field, a familiar voice came on the radio.

"Shinji, are you okay!" came Misato's worried voice.

"Fine," replied Shinji, "How are things holding up at the other gates?"

"Badly, all of them have been overrun, and the enemy has pushed further into Nerv. You did a good job of holding them off at Gate 5 though. I picked up a radio frequency saying that you destroyed a tank. Is that true?"

"More or less," said Shinji, still watching the helicopters as they neared him.

"I'm very proud of you," said Misato after a short pause.

"How much longer do you think you can hold them inside the facilities?"

"I'm not sure. In all honesty, there were more nations involved then we had initially thought. Its proving rather difficult to figure out how much we're up against."

"How many have died so far?"

"Of our own? Not many surprisingly; none of the shelters have been hit yet."

"Thats good," said Shinji, thinking briefly of Asuka and Rei.

"Shinji...about Unit 02-"

"I sealed off both entrances," said Shinji cutting her off. "They won't be able to get to it without several tons of plastic explosives."

"I know but...thats not really a permanent means to the problem, and the ventilations ducts above are still accessible."

"It'll be fine," said Shinji.

"But Shin-"

"Sorry Misato, but I have to go."

"Wai-" but Shinji disconnected the connection.

"Right then," mumbled Shinji as Unit 01 started running towards the helicopters. Shinji even almost felt sorry for them as he brought Unit 01's right fist smashing down on top of one of them, instantly crushing the pilot into red mist. Missiles were fired from the helicopters, but Shinji didn't bother blocking them; conventional weapons had no effect against the Evangelions.

'Who's next?' thought Shinji, as Unit 01 charged forward, ripping apart the landscape as it bowled through the Geofront at sub-supersonic speeds. Generating Unit 01's AT-field, he wiped it around, slicing many of the helicopters surrounding him completely in half. He could feel the AT-fields of the enemies surrounding him slowly starting to diminish.

'Is this all that they can throw at me?' wondered Shinji. He was almost worried that this would end rather quickly.

Just as he thought this, an explosion happened from the far side of the Geofront as the missile batteries started launching artillery size missiles. Smiling slightly, Shinji brought Unit 01's hand behind its back and brought out the progressive knife hidden behind its left shoulder. Running directly at the missiles, Unit 01 suddenly jumped into the air to greet the missiles. Bringing the progressive knife down directly were the tip of the missile was, the progressive knife sheared the missile in half, sending raining debris down onto the terrain below.

'Next,' thought Shinji as he turned towards another of the missiles, but next second changed plans as he was assaulted by a vivid vision of the entire Geofront being engulfed in a large explosion.

Testing the limits of his and Unit 01's AT-field was not smart at this time, but he didn't have any other choice as the warhead reached him. Creating half a dome with Unit 01's AT-field, and the other half with his own, Shinji encased the warhead in the two AT-fields, just as the explosion went off.

Shinji felt as though his entire body was threatening to be ripped apart as the nuclear explosion threatened to spill out of the two AT-fields. The explosion was not as strong as it could have been though, due to the fact that the two AT-fields had absorbed most of the raw energy. As Shinji forced the two AT-fields to slowly shrink, encasing the explosion even more, the AT-fields slowly dissipated the explosion. It looked as though a miniature sun had descended into the Geofront, only to be destroyed by a larger sun.

Sweating heavily from the strain it took to incase the explosion, Shinji finally dropped both AT-fields as the explosion was lost.

'Shit,' he thought, 'I can't believe those bastards actually tried setting off a nuclear explosion inside the Geofront.' The thing was, if it had been an N2 bomb, which was significantly greater than a regular nuclear warhead, he probably wouldn't have been able to stop the explosion. Be that as it may, he felt weak now, and had no idea if the radiation from the explosion would affect him at all.

It seemed that the explosion had also garbled radio frequencies, because he heard Misato's voice come through the intercom, but he couldn't understand a word that she was saying, only that she sounded worried. Muting the intercom though, he was just turned back to the battle when the remaining missiles struck Unit 01. Thought it did no damage to Unit 01 physically, internally, Shinji was feeling worse. Thankfully though, the remaining missiles hadn't held a warhead.

'I have to destroy those missile batteries,' he thought.

Forcing his body back under control, he briefly glanced down at his right arm. The tips of his fingers had turned slightly black from the radiation, and he couldn't move them.

'I'm still human after all,' he thought as he looked at his hand. It may take some time, but he hoped that the radiation would eventually be filtered out of his system because of his angel DNA.

But it wasn't bad, and he could still fight.

Not waiting for the batteries to fire another round of missiles at him, Unit 01 jumped high into the air, and soared above the batteries, its shadow just above them. Like a bullet ripping through the air, Unit 01 crashed down on top of one of the batteries, instantly destroying it and the soldiers that surrounded it. The large strip of pavement that it had been resting upon was split in half, a deep crack running down the landscape of the Geofront. Swiveling around, he turned towards the other missile battery, which was slowly rotating to face him. Quickly deploying Unit 01's AT-field, it sliced directly into the missiles armed on the battery, sending off numerous explosions. Around twenty humans that were in the vicinity were instantly vaporized as the missiles exploded. A large crater was left in the ground where the explosion had happened; grass turned instantly brown as the heat wave exploded outward, looking as though it had been baking under the sun for several months. Several trees had their leaves burned off and turned to black soot that fell to the ground.

Out from the dark cloud of smoke that had been issued walked Unit 01, completely unscathed from the ensuing explosion.

'Thats done at least,' thought Shinji as he looked around from his position in the Geofront. The missile batteries had been placed upon one of the higher ledges so that it would have a high vantage point. From here, Shinji could see everything that was happening in the Geofront, though admittedly, there wasn't much here in the realm of things that were left for him to destroy. It seemed that the large concentration of power was still above the surface, in Tokyo-3.

'But they had to have gotten down here somehow...'

Shinji knew of a sky elevator somewhere in the Geofront that was used for aircraft, so he figured thats how the helicopters had gotten in, and the batteries had gotten in by the normal road routes. Maybe he could use that to reach the surface easier.

'Its worth a try,' thought Shinji. 'And the more time a stay battling in here, the longer I put the entire Geofront in danger.' He had already done a good amount of damaged to it as it was.

* * *

Misato had seen the nuclear explosion that Shinji had been able to contain from the monitors in the command center, and she had instantly tried to contact him, fearing that the radiation may have adverse affects on him. But the radio frequencies had been scrambled, and even when she had tried contact him, he had muted her. She then felt relief though as she saw that he seemed to still be fine with Unit 01 moving as it was. But now though, after he had destroyed those batteries, Unit 01 was just standing there. She tried making contact with Shinji again, but it was still muted.

'Damn it,' she thought angrily at how helpless she was in a situation like this.

"Whats the status of the interior of Nerv?" she asked to the surrounding personal still stationed at the computers.

"Blocks one through one hundred sixty-three have been completely overrun. Shelters four, five, and six have also been hit. Estimated number of casualties have triple digit numbers."

"What about Terminal Dogma?" asked Fuyutsuki who was acting as temporary commander, since Gendo was nowhere to be found. "Have any of the elevator shafts been penetrated?"

"Strong defense has been placed around number three where the First and Second children are being protected. The other elevators are unknown at this time."

"Flood the blocks that have already been taken over by the enemy with the bakelite. It should slow down their advance a little," said Fuyutsuki.

Misato bit her lip in frustration; the bakelite had always been used as a last resort sort of solution.

"Fuyutsuki..." started Misato tentatively. "I think...I'm going to go see what the status is with the other elevators."

Fuyutsuki turned around and said quite bluntly, "That would be suicide Major-"

"Lets quit with the discrepancies and just call each other by our names." Fuyutsuki frowned, but obeyed her anyway.

"Fine then, Katsuragi, what do you hope to accomplish by learning the status of the other elevators?"

"I don't know, but I can't just stand here and do nothing!" she shouted. Everybody in the command center was now listening to their conversation.

"You do not need to shout Katsuragi, I can hear you plainly enough, and since this is a very stressful time it would be best if you-"

"Shinji's out there fighting to protect everybody, even after everyone thought he was a freak! And he's fighting all by himself!"

"And what do you suppose you going to the other elevators and getting yourself killed would accomplish?" asked Fuyutsuki, getting surprisingly angry. "Do you think Shinji would appreciate the fact that you died while trying to help him?"

"But we aren't doing anything-"

"We are doing everything that we as humans can do," retorted Fuyutsuki. "We are a world apart from Shinji now, and the only thing we can do at this moment is rely on him."

Misato glared at Fuyutsuki for a second before she turned around and walked towards the elevator.

Calling after her, Fuyutsuki said, "I wont stop you Katsuragi, but at most you should go to elevator three and assist with the movement of Asuka and Rei if necessary."

Misato looked over at her shoulder, but saw that Fuyutsuki had already turned around and was staring, waiting for Unit 01 it to start moving again.

"After all," he said continuing after a brief pause, "you know those kids better than anyone else."

"I know," replied Misato.

Chuckling slightly, Fuyutsuki said, "That stubbornness is just like your father. You know, it wasn't just your life that he saved that day; he saved many of his fellow scientists at risk to his own life."

"I know," said Misato again, "and I'm quite proud of him for it."

Without glancing at anyone else in the command center, she walked over to the elevator and was about to press the down button on the elevator when the doors swung open. Thinking that it might have been the enemy, she unholstered the gun at her hip and brought it up, only to have a hand grasp the top of it and point it at the ground.

"That was rather rude Major," came the jokingly comment of Kaji.

Misato didn't even bother replying as she stepped into the elevator alongside him, though when he didn't step out, she asked rather testily, "Aren't you going to get out?"

"No, actually, I was looking for you; it seems that luck still hasn't failed me yet."

"Lets hope it holds up for the rest of the day," said Misato as she holstered her gun. "And? So? What did you want to see me for?"

"Just to be sure you were okay," said Kaji while shrugging.

Misato made a disgusting look with her face, but wasn't letting on how she really felt. Beside her, Kaji fished a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

"Those things will be the death of you," said Misato as the elevator started descending.

"I don't think I'll have to wait for the cancer to take me," said Kaji as he took a puff on the cigarette.

Eyeing it rather evenly, Misato finally snapped at him, "Oh, give me one of those!"

Kaji raised and eyebrow but pulled another out of his pocket and lit it for her. With both of the puffing in the small elevator, the air quickly became choked with smoke.

"I don't think I've smoked since college," said Misato, breaking the silence, "but my nerves are just..."

"You worried about Shinji?"

"Of course! How could I not be. He's fighting with everything he's got, but I don't even know what I'm supposed to do right now. I'm a wreck! I kept thinking that soldiers were going to burst through the wall of the command center any second while I was there. Thinking about what Asuka's going through right now, with her mind a mess, not knowing whats going through the commander mind, and the whole idea that I might not-"

Kaji silently removed the cigarette from her mouth, and pressed his forefinger against her lips.

"Not. Another. Word. ...Alright?"

Misato nodded silently through her closed lips.

"Good then," said Kaji as he removed his finger from her lips, and placed the cigarette back between her lips. Though Misato hated to admit it, the feel of the cigarette between her lips had rather lost its luster, now that she had felt Kaji's warm finger touching her soft flesh.

"Hey Kaji?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think I made a mistake...having Asuka and Shinji live together?"

Kaji was silent for a minute, before he took the cigarette out of his mouth and said very seriously, "I don't think it would have made a difference. They would have still found each other."

"...You think so?"

"I do," said Kaji, looking down at this own cigarette as though it suddenly tasted bad. Dropping it to the floor of the elevator, he stamped it out with his shoe; beside him, Misato did likewise.

As the doors opened, and they were about to step out into the open hallway, Misato grabbed the back of Kaji shirt and slowly asked, "Can you...do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Stay by my side...till-"

"I would have even if you didn't ask," replied Kaji with a slight smile.

Misato broke into her own smile, though it would be a long time before she ever smiled again.

* * *

Shinji had found the sky elevator which would take him to the surface, but the only problem was how he was supposed to get that high. He had no idea either whether Unit 01 would even fit through the hole.

'But I don't have any other choices.'

Bending Unit 01's legs, he made it crouch so far down that its chin was in danger of touching the ground when he jumped. The ground shook as though a miniature earthquake had been set off; large pieces of dirt were thrown up into the air. Unit 01 tore through the sky as it soared upward; Shinji had actually misjudged how high Unit 01 could jump, because he was quickly at the sky elevator. Quickly generating Unit 01's AT-field, he cut off the metal door that sealed the elevator from the Geofront. Slamming Unit 01's hands into the metal siding, he was able to get an adequate foothold. Many feet above him, he could just see a crack of daylight.

'Almost there,' he thought.

That was when it happened.

As he started climbing, he heard the unmistakable sounds of a large airplane flying overhead; the sound of its engines funneling down into the narrow cylinder he was in. It seemed to have stopped directly over the Geofront.

'Shit,' thought Shinji as it dawned on him then what they were likely doing, but it was too late.

The N2 bomb was dropped at a height of seventy-thousand feet above the city of Tokyo-3, falling at a rate of five thousand feet a second. Shinji had enough time to generate both AT-fields just before the bomb struck the crust of the earth.

It looked like something directly out of the Cold War; the city, already laid waste thanks to the explosion of Unit 00, was almost completely leveled. The N2 bomb struct the metal plating separating the Geofront from Tokyo-3, melting it almost instantly and ripping through the seventy some gates of reinforced steel. A giant explosion erupted into the sky; the plume cloud was so large that it blocked out the sun outward of ten miles from the epicenter. A large gaping hole had been made in the Geofront. Small pieces of twisted metal were falling from the sky, still burning as they fell to the ground. It felt as though the entire earth was shaking.

In this attack on the Geofront, many nationalities lost soldiers that had been placed above the surface. The attack had come directly from Seele, organized through their Japanese contacts, so that only the Japanese knew about the impeding strike. But Seele didn't care at this point, because they were close to their objective.

Unit 01 had taken the explosion head on, and though it was able to minimize some of the damage, thanks to both Shinji's and its AT-fields, it still suffered considerable damaged. Most of the metal plating had been completely melted off; the top part of the Evangelion looked almost naked, while the bottom half still retained most of the metal plating. Blood poured out of both arms of the Evangelion as it had taken the strain of maintaing the AT-field.

Shinji was little better off; large sections of his skin had been completely peeled off, revealing the red muscles underneath. Blood poured forth from his arms, and around certain parts of his face. His fingernails had been torn off, while the ends of his finger seemed to have been completely eroded away, leaving white bone sticking out. But the pain didn't bother Shinji; he was too used to it by now.

'Those bastards,' he thought bitterly, as a trickle of blood bubbled at the corner of his mouth before bursting and started flowing down the side of his face. His normally white shirt was already dyed in blood.

The sky elevator that Unit 01 had been in was likewise destroyed, so that Unit 01 was falling back down into the Geofront. But at least now Shinji didn't have to worry about finding a way to the surface.

Unit 01 crashed back to the bottom of the Geofront, its feet crashing into the soil and splitting the ground, creating a large chasm. But Shinji had only eyes for the earth above him. Squinting through the darkened sky to the world above, he had Unit 01 crouch down again before it leapt upwards.

The pressure was unbelievable as Shinji was thrown backwards into the pilot seat, as the change in G's threatened to tear his body apart. Shinji's blood started to mix with the LCL fluid inside the entry plug, almost turning the fluid red. His eyes continued to glow red, and his bodies cells were already starting to repair the damage.

Unit 01 rocketed upward before it passed outside the Geofront, and up into the skies of Tokyo-3. As Shinji floated airborne in Unit 01 for a few seconds, he was able to see the damage done by the N2 bomb; everything was barren and brown. The tops of skyscrapers littered the ground; twisted pieces of cars lay scattered across the landscape; the asphalt of the road ways had turned liquid hot, so that the tar bubbled upward. Shinji saw all this and more, because he then saw a large group of ships far off in the distance in the Sea of Japan. Boiling hatred the likes of which he had never known erupted within him as Unit 01 tumbled back towards the ground.

'Those bastards,' he thought again. His eyes boiled blood red, the LCL fluid inside the entry plug seemed to boil along with Shinji's hatred, and Unit 01 reacted to that. The hinges clamping its mouth closed broke loose as it released an ear splitting roar, shattering the glass that had not been destroyed when the bomb had hit. The roar of Unit 01 was heard as far away as Tokyo-2. The waves in the Sea of Japan increased with intensity as though listening to Unit 01. The men on the ships heard the roar and were filled with a fear and a sudden wish to be back at home.

Unit 01 turned towards the enemy, its eyes narrowing as it did so; its thoughts that of Shinji's, and only one thing resonated in its mind: destroy everything.

Unit 01 broke the sound barrier as it rushed towards the ships, creating a sonic boom which kicked up dust and debris. It was moving so fast, that it looked like a blur. As it reached the edge of the shore, it suddenly jumped, flying over the fishing boats which had been left abandoned to the sea. Flying over the wide expanse of the sea, it came crashing down on one of the aircraft carriers out in the water. Without even changes positions, Unit 01 generated its AT-field behind itself, slicing the control tower of the aircraft carrier off so that it fell into the water.

Jumping again, it soared above the aircraft carrier, and this time sliced it cleanly in half with its AT-field, before directing its attention to another ship. But just as Shinji was about to destroy the next battle ship, he paused in mid air as he heard the large plane that he had heard earlier above him. Landing on the battleship that he had been about to destroy, he looked up into the sky and could just make out the stealth bomber high up in the sky. It was too high for him to reach by jumping, and out of reach with his AT-field, but oh what he would have given to be able to destroy it.

'Bastard,' thought Shinji, as he turned away from the bomber, but something caught his eye, because he turned back to face it. Twelve white specs seemed to be floating down on the air, and each was getting bigger and bigger by the second. Shinji grimaced slightly as he figured what they were. Turning back to the battleship, he pushed off against it, propelling himself back to the land, while in turn, easily capsizing it. He could see little dots in the water which he assumed to be the sailors from the battleship. Hopefully they could stay afloat long enough to get help, but that wasn't Shinji's jurisdiction.

Landing back on dry land, Shinji looked above him and saw that the twelve white objects were now circling above him, as though they were birds of prey, and they sorta were; Shinji saw that they had wings like that of a bird on their backs. Each of them landed around him, forming a circle.

"So this is the Eva series" mumbled Shinji as he looked out at the enemy in front of him. He thought they looked strangely reptilian.

Wiping some blood off his cheek, he thought grimly, 'This wont be easy.'

* * *

The N2 bomb is what woke Asuka from her fitful sleep.

The force of the explosion reached all the way into Terminal Dogma, sending vibrations through the metal wall, which was what Asuka was leaning against; the vibrations startled her awake. She jumped upward as she felt an unpleasant feeling travel up her spine. Looking wildly around, the only thing that she could see was Rei still sitting in her chair and reading her book, but Asuka's desperation won over her hatred for Rei, because she asked, "What the hell was that just now?"

"An N2 bomb most likely," said Rei without taking her eyes off the book.

Asuka's eyes widened at that. "Are you serious?"

"Why would I lie?"

Asuka hated this for some reason, because she narrowed her eyes in annoyance and turned away from Rei. Its not that she wished she was back asleep, when her dreams were so painful, but the waking world wasn't much better either.

'And at least this socially challenged moron isn't in them,' thought Asuka with a sidelong glanced at Rei. Asuka didn't know how long she had been asleep, but she didn't think it had been long, an hour at most likely.

'What the hell is going on up there?' she wondered.

Next second, the roar of Unit 01 could be heard from above in Tokyo-3. Asuka jumped immensely as she heard the cry of fury from Unit 01, but she thought she heard another voice in the mix...his voice...

'He's angry for what they did,' she thought. At the table across from her, even Rei seemed to have paused and was looking up at the ceiling, listening to the roar of Shinji and Unit 01.

Just then, the metal door opened and a man walked in. Asuka tensed up almost instantly, and with good reason; Gendo Ikari had just walked into the room.

"It is time Rei," he said simply.

Rei looked at him for a second before she stood up without a word and walked over to him. Neither of them gave the slightest sign that they noticed Asuka standing in a corner of the room, but she was, and she saw the entire thing pass by in a few seconds. Now that she actually looked closer, as Gendo started walking away, she saw that blood was dripping off his right arm, and what seemed to be large pieces of dead skin cells were flaking off his arm and falling to the floor.

'What the hell?' she thought.

As they disappeared into the darkness outside, Asuka took a few hesitant steps towards the door, before she broke into a fast walk and stopped in the opening of the door. She looked out into the darkened hallway, but didn't see any sign of the soldiers which had been positioned there earlier. The lights that had hung along the tops of the walls were also out.

Everything was dark, but Asuka thought that she could find her way to the elevator shaft without too much difficulty. Taking several steps into the dark, she briefly looked around for Rei and Gendo, before disregarding them and breaking into a full out run. Turning around a corner, she stopped dead and had to hold back the loud gasp that threatened to spill forth from her mouth. A soldiers was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, apparently dead. He had a large gash right down his chest, slicing into his sternum. Asuka sucked in her breath so as not to smell the stench of blood, and edged around him, careful to not slip in the blood.

Breaking into another run, she quickly reached the elevator, and placed both hands on her knees and bent over, catching her breath. She didn't even know why she was doing this, only that if she didn't get an answer, she wouldn't be able to live with herself, or anyone else for that matter.

'Stop that!' she shouted into her mind.

But she didn't care anymore. That idiot was fighting by himself, and that cry had held more than just anger, she had heard pain mixed into the middle of it.

'He never asks for help,' she thought, 'and he never relies on anybody else. Is he that alone? Like me? How is it that we are so similar, yet we can't understand each other.'

I want to understand you! I want to help you when you stumble. I want to laugh with you when you're happy! I want to stay by your side!

I don't care anymore! Even if I am hurt! Even if I have to drag myself to be with you, I don't care! So please...don't ignore me; don't shun me, don't hurt me, accept me for who I am!

Asuka straightened up, her mind set on what she was going to do.

"You stupid idiot," she mumbled, "don't do this alone...not without me."

Running into the elevator, she hammered on the up button, and waited for it to take her up to Central Dogma.

Far above her, Shinji started his battle with the Eva series...


	30. Cornered

**Happy Halloween Everyone! Okay so, originally this was supposed to be a double post (like last years) but I ran out of time. But expect the next chapter out in a week or so, and consider this my treat to every one of my fans on Halloween. Don't eat till you puke!**

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Unit 01 stood motionless in Tokyo-3, watching the Eva Series, waiting for them to make a move. If Shinji was honest with himself, he was rather anxious about the fight that he would be having with. If he attacked headlong at the closest one to him, then all of them would probably attack him at once. Even so though, it wasn't as though he could stay motionless forever.

'The Eva Series all have the S2 engine built into them, like Unit 01,' thought Shinji. 'So they can theoretically go indefinitely. And of course they were created with Kaoru's DNA...so it'll be like fighting twelve of him at once I suppose...'

Biting down on his lips, a small trickle of blood dribbled down, pausing at his chin and then fell into his lap.

'Here we go,' thought Shinji.

Unit 01 charged at the closest Eva Unit to it, sending out a shockwave that blew the cars on the block in several directions. Glass in the nearby offices buildings shattered, raining down on the pavement below.

Unit 01 drew back its fist quickly, and plowed it directly into the jaw of the first Eva Unit. Immediately the jaw shattered, spraying blood in several direction. The Eva Unit was sent flying backwards before crashing into an office building, The steel beams crumpled as the body of the Eva made contact with it. Red gore was poking out of the Eva Units mouth.

Seeing there ally incapacitated the other Eva Units started moving. Shinji spun around with Unit 01 and brought Unit 01's arms up just in time as what looked like a giant metal spear came crashing down on Unit 01's arms. Shinji immediately felt his own arms break as the bones in Unit 01 broke. Fighting back the scream that threatened to erupt from his mouth, Shinji had Unit 01 draw its leg back before kicking the Eva Unit square in the chest. The Eva Unit skidded backwards several feet before it came to a rest. Shinji now saw that each of the Eva Units had one of those strange looking spears and that it seemed to have been concealed behind the wings of the Eva Units.

'Lets try this then,' thought Shinji.

Quickly moving forward and breaking the sound barrier, Unit 01 crashed against the Eva Unit which had attacked it moments before. Not letting it have any chance of retaliating, Unit 01 quickly generated its AT-field and sliced horizontally into the soft flesh of the Eva Unit just below the rib cage. It wasn't a clean cut, since the AT-field hadn't sliced all the way through, but it had its desired affect. Blood spilled out out of the Eva Unit along with what looked like large organs.

Jumping backwards, Shinji quickly deduced what he had seen.

'They seem to be abnormally slower than Unit 01, and while they can function without a pilot, they don't seem to have much of a thought process.'

Turning to his left, he saw that the remaining Eva Units seemed to waiting for him to move, though if Shinji didn't know any better, it almost seemed as though they were slightly wary of him now.

'I suppose that after what I did to their allies though, it's to be expected.'

Smirking slightly, Shinji moved forward to the next one, thinking that it wouldn't be much trouble when he saw a brief blur from one of the Eva Units close to him. Next second he had to generate Unit 01's AT-fields as a flash of orange erupted from the Eva Unit.

'They can even create AT-fields?' thought Shinji. He hadn't counted on that.

Sensing movement behind him, he quickly pushed back the Eva's AT-field, breaking it in the process and spun around. Another Eva Unit was towering over him and was just swinging down the metal spear. Shinji was forced to make Unit 01 roll out of the way as it dodged the spear.

'Shit!'

The Eva Unit spun with him as he rolled, swinging the metal spear all the while. As it swung it again though, Unit 01 managed to grab that spear with its hands. Quickly generating Unit 01's AT-field, Shinji managed to slice off the arms of the Eva Unit, making a fountain of blood and bone marrow shoot out of the stub of an arm. The severed arms fell to the ground with a loud 'thud' creating a small indent in the ground. The Eva didn't seem to be done though, as its strange looking head suddenly lashed outward at Unit 01's outstretched arm, and bit down on it. Shinji did scream then, as it felt like teeth the size of a semi-truck were biting down on his broken arm which had just started to heal. A large chunk was taken out of Shinji's right arm, leaving nothing holding the flesh together except for a few small tendons. Though heavily dazed from the pain, Shinji still managed to have Unit 01 bring its left arm up and drive it directly into the side of the Eva Units head.

Blood and gore exploded out the other side of the Eva Unit's head, spraying the building next to it with brain matter. Both the eyeballs popped out, leaving eye sockets dark except for the red blood that was steadily flowing out. The teeth that had been clamped onto the arm of Unit 01 snapped off, still embedded into the arm of Unit 01.

Knowing that he didn't have long before another one attacked him, Unit 01 grabbed the teeth that were sunken into it arms with its left arm, and pulled them out. A small trickle of blood flowed out of the open wound. It didn't seem like it had effected Unit 01 much...only Shinji.

Looking down at the state of his own arm, Shinji thought, 'I've only managed to destroy three of these things, and already I'm being backed into a corner.'

Forcing Unit 01 to straighten up, Shinji dove forward as he sensed movement behind him. The building that Unit 01 had been leaning against had been split in two by one of the metal spears, which had sliced the building horizontally.

Crashing into another building, Unit 01 spun around and just barely managed to duck as the spear came close to impaling its right shoulder. With the Eva Unit in view now though, Unit quickly brought back its left fist and sunk into the Eva Units stomach, making it reel backwards slightly. Gaining enough leverage now, Unit 01 right leg shot out suddenly, catching the Eva Unit in the stomach again, this time sending it into the remaining ruins of the building that it had recently destroyed.

His arm still bleeding profusely, and his vision starting to grow foggy, Shinji quickly generated Unit 01's AT-field and brought it down mercilessly on top of the Eva Units head. It instantly crushed, splattering blood along the remaining concrete walls of the building behind it.

Moving away from the destroyed skull of the Eva Unit, Unit 01 went in the opposite direction, away from the other Eva Units. Shinji knew that he had to give his almost destroyed arm time to recover, and continuing the fight wasn't going to help.

Putting on a huge burst of speed, Unit 01 broke the sound barrier once again as it tore through the streets of Tokyo-3, destroying the exterior of the few remaining buildings. His arm had slowly started healing, but it was still going to be a while before he would be able to move properly again.

Backing up against a nearby building, Shinji paused but didn't sense any of the enemies AT-fields around him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he looked down at the state of his ragged arm. The sinews had started to reform and rejoin the damaged tissue, but his arm still looked as though a large dog had almost bitten it off.

The density of the LCL fluid seemed to change particularly around his arm, as though it was speeding up the process of the regeneration, which Shinji reminded himself, it probably was; he vaguely remembered what Asuka had told him before.

Frowning slightly at the thought of her, he shook his head briefly and gripped the controls of Unit 01 tighter, straining his arm more than he should, but the pain helped him forget.

"Another few minutes and everything should be back to normal," whispered Shinji in the orange darkness of Unit 01's entry plug.

Asuka wasn't sure how long she had spent pacing back and forth inside the elevator as she waited for it to take her into Central Dogma, but she was almost certain she had worn a permanent track in the floor.

As she reached the top of the elevator though, she heard what sounded like shouts and sporadic gunfire. Tensing up slightly, she briefly had second thoughts about her actions, but pushed them quickly away. It was too late to turn back now, too late along time ago for that matter.

As the elevator doors opened though, Asuka got her first glimpse of the horrors in which human beings could inflict on each other.

A female soldier directly in front of her, who seemed to have been running backwards with a gun in her hand, was shot cleanly in the back. The bullet surged through her spinal cord, splintering the bone and shearing out the other side of her breastplate. She immediately toppled to the ground, blood pooling around her until she looked like a rag doll that had been dipped in ketchup.

Asuka stood there for several seconds, unable to think as her mind replayed the image of the woman in front of her dying a sudden death. It had happened so suddenly. Who was she? Did she have a husband? Kids? What was her life like? Asuka would never know, but it was her first time seeing the killing of a human by another human, and it was somehow more grotesque than the Angels which they had been fighting before now.

Stepping back into the elevator, she pushed herself against the far wall and sank down to her knees. What would happen if she herself went out there? Would she meet the same fate as the body in front of her? She really didn't want to find out.

But then she heard several voices from the direction the woman had been running away from, and she recognized one of them.

"Misato?" she mumbled under her breath.

Getting up from her kneeling position, she slowly walked over to the elevator door and peered around the door to the far side of the corridor. Misato was hurrying towards the elevator with Kaji and several other people which Asuka guessed to be Nerv security guards. Feeling rather hesitant after seeing humans kill each other, Asuka cringed slightly as she saw the drawn gun that Misato had in her hand. But she had known Misato since she had decided to join Nerv, and knew that she would never hurt her.

Stepping out in the white corridor, she was careful to not look at the body behind her and hurriedly walked forward. Misato seemed to have seen Asuka, because she shouted instructions at the security guards with her who seemed to assume position along the corridor as though they were guarding something. Misato then holstered her pistol and ran forward towards Asuka who was standing still just outside the elevator doors; Kaji was a few steps behind her.

Asuka, who had expected scorn from Misato, was therefore rather surprised when Misato drew her into a comforting hug when she reached her.

"Asuka," mumbled Misato, "what are doing up here? You should still be in Terminal Dogma with Rei."

"Rei left with the commander," muttered Asuka as she looked over Misato's shoulder to Kaji who was watch them silently, but keeping the corridor in his peripheral vision all the while.

"What?" asked Misato startled. "What do you mean Rei left with the commander?"

"Just that," replied Asuka, "the commander came to get Rei for something, and the both of them disappeared afterwards. I left the room, but didn't see any of the guards that had been posted."

Misato narrowed her eyes, briefly wondering where the commander and Rei had gone, but it had really got out of her area of expertise. She'd just have to hope for the best.

"But then...why are you up here? I mean...I can understand you wondering whats going on above, but-"

"Misato, I want you to help me get to the Evangelions chamber," said Asuka cutting Misato off curtly.

"What? Asuka, why would you want to go there?"

"I'm going to help out Shinji," replied Asuka, "he can't do this on his own."

"Asuka...you're Evangelion can't even fight, nor have you even piloted it since your...accident with the angel."

"But Shinji is fighting out there all by himself!"

"Asuka you-"

"I what Misato?" asked Asuka rather snappishly. "Is there something you want to say."

"Yes there is actually; there is no way I can't let you enter Unit 02."

"You're not my mother!"

"No, but I am your guardian."

"Don't you even care what happens to Shinji?"

"Of course I do! But having you out there and fighting is the worse thing that could possibly happen. If Shinji knew that you were-"

But Misato cut herself off before she finished that particular sentence. But it seemed that Asuka was still determined to get past her.

"I don't care whether you're my guardian or not. I'm fifteen years old; I can look after myself."

"Asuka-"

"I don't know what happened between me and Shinji, but I can't stand by and do nothing while everyone else is putting their lives in danger."

Misato stared at her for a moment before she turned to Kaji and asked him, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Without bothering to look over his shoulder, Kaji replied, "She has her mind set on what she wants to do. Whether it's the right thing to do though remains to be seen. But whatever you decide Misato, you should decided it quick. We can't stay in one place for too long."

"I know, but-"

"Misato, take me there!" yelled Asuka.

Misato bit down on her lip painfully. Asuka wanted to help at any cost, even if it harmed her in some way. If Shinji was here, he would have definitely forbade her, though how she wasn't sure.

"I can't, none of the elevators are working. Before Shinji left, he destroyed all the elevators."

"Why did he do that?"

Misato thought it wrong to tell her that he did it to prevent her from doing exactly what she was trying to do.

"Because I told him too," she said after a moments pause.

"What about the ventilation ducts?" asked Asuka quickly.

'Damn it,' thought Misato.

"Well, it is possible, but going to such lengths just to-"

"Don't say that," mumbled Asuka, "don't act as if it doesn't matter, because it does. You understand that too Misato, but you don't want to acknowledge it. I said before...that I don't know what happened between me and Shinji, and I don't rightfully know if I care anymore to know about my broken memory. But I do care to know about him."

"Misato," mumbled Kaji, interjecting his own voice into the conversation as though telling them to hurry.

"I know," snapped Misato.

Glancing at Asuka again, Misato briefly thought about the many changes that Asuka had gone through, all thanks to Shinji when she really thought about it. But likely, everything buried deep within Asuka always wanted to spring forth, and Shinji was match that did that. Misato supposed that Asuka had really grown up, no, they had grown up. They didn't need her anymore.

"...Are you sure about this?" asked Misato one final time.

"As sure as I know that I'm an Evangelion Pilot," replied Asuka, breaking into somewhat of a smile.

Sighing heavily, Misato relented.

"Okay, if this is what you really want."

"It is," said Asuka.

Misato gazed at Asuka for a minute before she said, "You've grown up you know...both you and Shinji...together, and I got to watch everything as it unfolded...so I suppose I should be grateful that I got to witness your changes."

Asuka's eyes widened slightly at Misato's words as she asked, "Misato...what do you mean by together?"

Misato smiled slightly as she said, "Nothing, forget I said anything."

Asuka frowned slightly, but knew she was going to get any further with this conversation, that and Kaji was pointedly getting anxious about being there. They had been stationary for at least ten minutes.

"We need to move," said Kaji to Misato, while simultaneously motioning to the other security guards.

"Right," said Misato. Turning towards the security guards standing there, she told them all, "This here is Asuka Langley Soryu, though you probably know her better as the pilot of Unit 02."

At the mention of her name, and the fact that she's the pilot of an Evangelion, Asuka seemed to shrink, as though she was slightly embarrassed.

"I don't need to tell you how important she is to Nerv, and the world as a whole. Protect her with your life!"

Asuka was rather shocked at how ferocious Misato sounded when she said this, but was rather touched when the security guards gathered around nodded their heads as though they accepted what their life meant right now.

"Good," said Misato. "I'm glad we're level with each other. We need to reach the ventilation ducts so that Asuka can make her way into the Evangelions chamber."

"The ducts are a few floors above where we are," said Kaji. "We wont be able to use any of the elevators, so we'll have to use an emergency stairway. There should be one a few corridors down."

"Lead the way then," said Misato.

Kaji passed Misato and Asuka then and walked in front of them with the security guards trailing behind everybody, checking over their shoulders occasionally.

As the continued on there way, all the while getting closer to the Evangelions chamber, Asuka thought.

"Wait for me Shinji!"

"That should be good," muttered Shinji inside the entry plug of Unit 01 as he clenched the fist of his right hand. His right arm had repaired itself, leaving the arm exactly as Shinji remembered it, though admittedly, the regeneration process seemed to have sped up once again, though that may have had something to do with the LCL fluid. He didn't think that anybody besides himself could survive more than a few seconds inside the entry plug of Unit 01.

The LCL had reached such a density that Shinji could almost feel it constricting and slowing his movement. The orange color had almost completely been replaced by a bright red that was the color of his blood. Shinji was completely linked with Unit 01. He could feel the nerve pulses of Unit 01 through his own body. Unit 01's heart was his, its brain was his, and its anger was his.

He was furious that Seele could do such a thing, those monsters, the Eva Series. He was furious that other nations had so willingly joined in the slaughter of an entire city, purposely seeking out humanoid targets to eradicate. He was furious that the Japanese government had stood aside, even after everything that Nerv had done to protect them, protect the world.

"Its inexcusable," muttered Shinji.

Making Unit 01 stand up to its full height, Shinji made it move away from the building that it had been crouching behind.

'Where are they?' he thought.

He had been rather surprised when they hadn't pursued him, surprised that he hadn't even gotten a brief glimpse of an AT-field.

'Are they waiting for me back there?' he wondered.

Taking several tentative steps forward, Shinji paused for a minute, listening and feeling for any sign of movement. Nothing whatsoever came from in front, behind, or to his sides.

But something did come from above.

All at once, Shinji felt the AT-fields of the remaining Eva Units and looked up into the sky. The had taken flight again, and were diving towards him, each of them caring one of those oddly shaped spears. Dodging backwards, just as one of the spears almost impaled Unit 01's right foot, he crashed into a building directly behind him, leveling it to the ground.

"Damn it! Move!"

Responding to his command, Unit 01 pressed off against the ground with its feet, shooting itself backwards several feet just as another spear threatened to impale its chest. Using its back as a spring, it forced itself upward, just in time as an Eva Unit soared right at it, a spear clutched in its hand. Barely managing to dodge the blow which had been seconds away from piercing the shoulder, Unit 01 grabbed the spear with its left hand, securing the Eva Unit in front of itself, and brought its right fist around, striking it in the side of the head. Like a balloon popping, the head of the Eva Unit exploded, showering Unit 01 in blood and gore.

Shaking off the dead body, Unit 01 turned to the remaining Eva Units. Only seven remained.

"...Damn it Kaoru," he muttered. "If you had actually tried to kill me, would things have ended up like this?"

Throwing away his thoughts, he dashed at the closest Eva Unit, generating his AT-field as he went, but moments later was forced to jump upwards as two of the Eva Units flew towards him, skidding across the ground and kicking up dust. As the Eva Units reached the spot where he had jumped, they flew in a vertical line straight upward towards him. It was almost like a World War II dogfight.

Twisting around in mid-air so that Unit 01 was now facing towards the oncoming Eva Units, they met in midair. The two Eva Units thrust both of the spears forward, one of them clipping Unit 01 in the side, but not drawing blood. Inside the entry plug Shinji felt as though an airbag had just been discharged directly into his side, likely creating a bruise, but compared to earlier, it was nothing.

Grabbing both of the spears, Unit 01 twisted them around, breaking them out of the grips of the Eva Units. Attempting to throw them at Eva Units, they both skillfully dodged as they flew to each side, their wings flapping backwards and forwards like a birds. Closing in on Unit 01's side they both generated their AT-fields, attempting to crush Unit 01 with the ensuing weight. Knowing that he didn't have time to decide what to do, Shinji quickly generated both his and Unit 01's AT-field.

The four AT-fields crashed against each other, sending out a bright flash of orange light that was seen from as far away as South Korea. Sparks flew as the separate AT-fields clashed against each other, raining down on the other Eva Units below. Before Shinji had even generated his AT-field, he had assumed that it would be nowhere near as powerful as the Eva Series. He right in assuming.

They were of course created from the DNA of Tabris, the seventeenth angel, so the strength of their AT-field was already great. Shinji on the other hand, had thought his own AT-field might have been stronger inside the entry plug of Unit 01, but it didn't feel any more powerful that it had been recently. Already feeling the strain in his body, and the slow cracking of his own AT-field, his attention turned to Unit 01.

Unit 01 was having no difficulties maintaining its own AT-field, and even seemed to be pushing the Eva Units AT-field back. Cracks started to develop in the enemies AT-field, just as Shinji's own started to deteriorate. He could start to feel the contamination from the Eva Unit starting at his finger tips. Forcing Unit 01 to push forward, the enemies AT-field shattered, forcing it to flying backwards for a second.

Quickly turning to the other, he quickly overlapped his own AT-field with Unit 01's just as his own was about to break. Shattering the others AT-field, it also retreated backwards for a second, but Unit 01 started rocketing backwards towards the earth.

With Unit 01 in free fall now, the other Eva Units which had remained on earth gathered where they projected Unit 01 would land. Seeing this, Shinji quickly generated his own AT-field, projecting it at a spot behind the Eva Units. His AT-field sliced into the many layers of dust, creating something only seen during the Dust Bowl in America. The dust flew in the air in all directions, making it look like a miniature tornado.

Unit 01 landed in the middle of the dust storm, and instantly froze, knowing that the slightest bit of movement could set off the Eva Units. From what Shinji had seen, they didn't have the ability to sense an AT-field like he did, so as long as he didn't move, and avoid the proximity of an nearby AT-fields, he should be-

All at once, the dust that had been circling overhead was blown away, as the Eva Units that had been above him used their wings to blow the dust away.

"Damn it!"

Twisting around, Shinji saw that one of the Units had thrown one of the spears at him. Shifting Unit 01's legs to his right, he swerved out of the way as the spear went soaring past the side of Unit 01's head. Quickly projecting Unit 01's AT-field, he sent it upwards towards the Eva Units which were still in the air, managing to slice into one of the wings. Losing the aerodynamic wing, the Eva Unit lopsided in mid air as it went crashing back to the ground, its back pointed towards the ground.

Knowing that he couldn't miss this chance, Shinji made Unit 01 run forward so that he could destroy the falling Eva Unit. Dodging another spear that was thrown at him, Shinji generated his own AT-field as another one flew at him, skimming the ground ever so slightly. Though his AT-field didn't have the power that Unit 01's did, he managed to stop the Eva Unit for a few seconds, before Unit 01 ground its left fist into the Eva Unit's chest.

Slamming Unit 01's feet into the ground, it skidded forward several feet until it was directly beneath the falling Eva Unit. Unit 01 threw both its arm up into the air, the ends of its fingers pointed upwards, ready to catch the Eva Unit. The Eva Unit tried turning around in the air at the last minute, but the mangled wing prevent it from flipping over properly.

Like the sound of rubber being slapped against skin, Unit 01's fingers pierced directly through the back of the Eva Unit, its fingers entwining around the spinal cord of the enemy. Raising its arms even further up into the air, Unit 01 projected its AT-field between the spot where its fingers had sunk in.

The flesh of the enemy was torn asunder, splitting in between the gap that separated Unit 01's fingers. The body was ripped open, spilling organs and blood over the head of Unit 01, bathing it in a dark reddish color, making it look almost like Unit 02. Unit 01 pulled its fingers out of the Eva Unit, making the severed body fall on either side of itself.

"Five more," mumbled Shinji as he looked at the remaining Eva Units.

The seven of them reached the top of the stairway and were met with a grizzly scene. What looked like a bloodied handprint was plastered on the other side of the doors window. It was smeared towards the bottom, making it apparent that the person had slid to the floor likely after dying.

Kaji nodded to Misato once before walking up the remaining stairs and crouched down next to the door. From his position he could see Misato watching him worriedly and Asuka behind her who looked positively frightened. Taking a deep breath, and grasping the drawn pistol tightly in his hands, he poked his head upwards and looked through the window briefly.

Looking past the bloodied handprint, a body was slumped against the opposite wall, an employee of Nerv. The face was completely disfigured, looking as though it had met a baseball bat. Beside him lay a standard issue 9mm pistol that all personal of Nerv that stayed behind during the assault were given. Blood was smeared all around the spot where the body lay, and Kaji suspected that the bloodied handprint had been this persons. Kaji couldn't imagine the suffering that this person had gone through, just because of the selfish actions of several individuals.

Turning back to Misato, he nodded his head once and waved them over to him. They walked slowly up the stairs, being careful not to let their feet catch on the metal steps. As Misato reached the stairs, with Asuka and the security behind her, she asked him, "Whats it like out there?"

"I'm not sure since I cant see very far out that window. There way be nothing out there...but there may also be the enemy."

Misato bit down on her lip and then looked behind her at the security personal gathered there. Nodding once, they understood what she was talking about.

Couching low to the ground, the four walked towards before one in front motioned to the others surrounding him. Giving several signs that Asuka didn't understand, the one in front eventually grasped the door knob of the emergency door, and trust it open, walking out into the hallway.

All too suddenly, an eruption of gunfire sounded from either end of the hallway. The leader of the team went down almost instantly, a bullet ripping through his trachea and out the other side, creating geyser of blood. Seeing there partner fall to the floor, the others opened fire on one side of the hallway, using the door that swung outwards as a guard from the other side of the hallway. Though lightly armed with 9mm pistols, the security guards of Nerv had been trained well. They could hit an egg from fifty yards out, so a human head from only ten yards was nothing.

The three soldiers on the other side of the hallway were met by a furious rain of bullets. One of them instantly dropped dead after the security guard had fallen, his head exploding like a watermelon. The other took a bullet in his leg and shuffled off to the side, radioing his fellow soldiers on the other side of the hallway. He was apparently the leader of the group, because he told them to move in on the door and take out the security guard.

The four soldiers on the other side of the hallway started moving forward, inching slowly towards the door with their guns drawn. The in front waved to the others, and the three behind him took out three grenades, intending to lob them over the door. That was when they were met by a few grenades, courtesy of Kaji. He had given them to the security guards, so that when a lapse in the fire happened, they were able to lob them over the door. The soldiers immediately seeing, started scampering backwards, but they were too late.

The grenade exploded, instantly disfiguring the soldiers and burning most of their skin charcoal. They looked as though they had acquired leprosy.

With the soldiers on the one side of the hallway killed, the security team pressed harder against the right side. The leader, having lost more than half the strength of his small company, was forced to retreat, leaving Misato and the others a clear field.

The security team inched out further into the hallway, making sure that there weren't any secondaries, when the motioned for the other to follow them.

"Good work," mumbled Misato as she passed the security guards. "I'm glad that their are still some people that are loyal to Nerv." Looking down at the body of the fallen leader, Misato briefly saluted him, along with the other security guards and Kaji. Asuka didn't really understand the purpose of doing this, but she bowed her head nonetheless. Normally it wouldn't have been something she would have considered, but this person had just given his life to help her. He deserved this much at least.

"All right...lets go," said Kaji after a few moments of silence. The others nodded and started down the right side of the hallway, passing the burned bodies of the soldiers.

Suddenly, the sound of bullets was heard all around them as the soldiers from earlier returned with reinforcements. The leader in charge was now furious that his earlier efforts had been thwarted by a mere group security guards. Even the kid who was with them wouldn't be shown mercy.

As the rain of bullets hit them again, one of the security guards immediately went down, catching a bullet in his upper thigh. Whipping around, the remaining two security guards started firing at the enemy, but the were grievously outnumbered. Knowing that they didn't have any other options, one of the security guards yelled to Misato over the sound of flying metal and said, "Let us deal with these guys. You continue on with Kaji and get the pilot of Unit 02 to the ventilation ducts.

Misato opened her mouth as though she didn't think very much of this plan, but Kaji put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head, indicting that they understood what they were getting themselves into when they stayed behind.

Nodding once, Misato quickly saluted them before turning to Asuka, grabbing her upper arm in a vice like grip and steering towards the direction of the ducts; Kaji was right behind them.

After many more minutes of running, during which they had to briefly pause as Asuka was complaining about a stitch in her side, they finally made it to the ventilation ducts. It was just big enough to admit Asuka, but Misato and Kaji had no chance of squeezing through the small hole in the side of the metal plating. But then again, they never intended to follow her any farther than here.

"Is this it?" asked Asuka after she saw the inside of it. Her voice held disgust, as it looked like the ducts hadn't been cleaned out in a while.

"Not having seconds thoughts, are you?" asked Misato with a slight smile.

"No...but," mumbled Asuka as she got on her hands and knees to look inside the duct. "I imagined it being a little more...cleaner."

"Can't be picky about it, and its a bit late to turn back."

"I know," sighed Asuka, as she stood up and looked at Misato and Kaji.

"You are coming with me...aren't you?"

Misato and Kaji simply smiled back at her. Somewhere deep down, Asuka had expected this, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.

"So you're not...huh..."

"I'm sorry Asuka, but we can't even fit through the duct," said Kaji.

"Then we'll just find another way and-"

"Asuka, you've already made up your mind on this. I also made up my mind to trust you, so don't worry what happens to us."

"But-"

"No more. Get going. You said before that Shinji needs help, and I think he does, but from you, and I also think you know that."

Asuka shrugged, not quite knowing yet one way or another.

"But what are you two going to do?" she asked hesitantly, unsure of whether she wanted to know the answer or not.

"We'll manage somehow," said Misato with something that looked like a forced smile.

"After all this, we'll meet up again and go out for dinner, how does that sound?" asked Kaji.

Asuka thought about this for a moment, before smiling slightly, the features of her face changing significantly.

"Yeah, that does sound nice," she said

"Alright then, its a promise," said Misato. "Now hurry up. Shinji started fighting the massed produced Eva Units a while ago."

"I know," mumbled Asuka as she turned away from Kaji and Misato, but just as she was about to enter the duct, she turned and told Misato, "I'm glad that I was able to live with you for this short time. It was...almost like having a mother again..."

Misato couldn't let on how deeply Asuka's words affected her, because if she did, she might hold Asuka back.

"Thank you Asuka...now hurry! Go!"

Asuka nodded once before ducking down in the ventilation ducts and crawling slowly through it. Slowly, the shape of her form was lost to Misato and Kaji as she crawled into the depths of Nerv.

"I suppose we should cover this up," said Kaji first to speak since Asuka left.

"...Right," said Misato meekly. She had now not only lost Shinji, but Asuka too. She was no longer in control of their lives, if she ever had been. They had grown up together in her apartment, and she had been able to witness the changes in them sprout. It had happened all so fast, that she wished that it had never happened, that they would have stayed young and oblivious forever. But everyone must grow up at one point in their lives, and it was no different for her.

"I wonder what will happen to those two," mumbled Misato after her and Kaji fixed the metal plating that they had taken off back on the duct. It blended in so well with the wall, only somebody that knew the layout of Nerv would be able to find it.

"No clue," mumbled Kaji as he started lighting a cigarette but looked at it distastefully suddenly and threw it to the floor. "What ever their futures are though, I don't think that we'll have a part in it."

"Its not very likely," sighed Misato.

"Should we get on with it then?" asked Kaji.

"I suppose," replied Misato.

Together, the two of them turn towards the way they had come from, certain that the soldiers would eventually reach there position. It was too much to hope that they wouldn't discover the ventilation duct and try to find a way to break through it. Therefore, they had to hold off the enemy long enough for Asuka to escape with Unit 02.

"I didn't think things would be like this...this end," mumbled Misato dejectedly.

"Its not so bad," said Kaji, "we're together...aren't we?"

Misato turned to him and looked him in the eyes before smiling slightly and entwining her fingers in his.

"Yeah, I suppose that is something."

Passing out of depth of knowledge, the two waited for there eventual ending.

All around Asuka was darkness, but that wasn't all. There was a certain sense of claustrophobia, being captured, your wings and freedom broken. It reminder her of her repulsive years spent under her father's roof. But the thoughts of Misato and Kaji's sacrifice, and her own determination kept her will strong, until eventually she could see a small light at the end of what felt like a long tunnel.

As she reached the light, she realized that there was some sort of grate at the end of the duct. Kicking out with both her feet, she managed to pop the grate off until the light was shinning fully into the mouth of the duct. Poking her head out of the duct, she could see the entirety of the Evangelion chamber, or what was left of it. Both sides of the chamber where the elevators had been were completely buried with twisted pieces of metal. The barriers that had held Unit 01 in place were twisted and flung all over the place like the playthings of a toddler. Her eyes though went to her own Eva Unit, first and foremost.

It was of course still in its damaged state that had happened when Shinji had fought it, but she had been rather hopeful that it would have somehow repaired itself, much like Unit 02. But it seemed that her Unit didn't have any such special powers.

Lowering herself down onto the metal ladder that was used as an emergency access, she slowly starting climbing down until she landed on the central walkway. Much of it had been destroyed when Unit 01 had left, so Asuka had to be careful she didn't fall off the rickety rail. Moving carefully along the right side of it, she eventually came to a bit of a problem. The gangway that her Unit 02 was positioned on was impossible to get to, because the intersection of the two walkways had been destroyed. Asuka wondered if Shinji hadn't purposefully done that when he left.

'He's still not stopping me though,' she thought

Grabbing ahold of the metal railing, she hoisted her right foot onto the top of the railing and then swung her left leg up also, being sure to hold onto the railing with her hands all the while. It looked as though she was about to do a high dive into a pool, and was just bending her knees to get ready. Though in reality, what she was doing wasn't very smart.

Bracing herself for the jump, she gave a brief silent prayer before she leapt. Though not seeming to care what others thought, Asuka was fairly athletic, so it was probably this single thing that saved her. During her brief time at the middle school she attended here in Tokyo-3, she was always top in her P.E. class.

She jumped a good five feet out into the unknown without a running start or anything, just complete stationary jump. She didn't look down, which was probably for the best, because then she may have not made it.

Both her hands fastened onto the railing on the opposite side, clinging to it for dear life until she managed to hoist herself up, and swing her legs over the other side. Sliding down to the ground, she let out a sigh of relief over what she had done.

'I must be crazy...doing something like this,' she thought.

Tilting her head upward, she looked up into the face of Unit 02.

"Hey...its been a while..." she said to it as though expecting it to respond. It didn't of course.

Standing up, she turned to it and said, "I'm going to be relying on you again...so I need you to work for me..."

'Dear God, am I actually talking to my Eva Unit?' She thought she was becoming insane.

Walking over to the side of it, she briefly thought about searching for a plug suit, any for that matter, but disregarded it in the end. She didn't have time for that, and she should be able to pilot it without one anyway.

Climbing the ladder that led to the entry plug, she paused for a moment outside the entry plug. If she was honest with herself, she was not looking forward to entering Unit 02. She had gotten used to not piloting and could hardly remember even doing it now. But she made a promise to herself and Misato that she would see this through.

So, taking a deep breath, Asuka entered the entry plug for what would be the last time in her life.

Nothing felt as it once had, of which she could barely remember. She was cold, dark, and all alone; there was nothing in there that would comfort her. Unit 02 had completely shut itself off to her because it didn't recognize her. She was different than the Asuka of the past, the one that had needed the sanctuary of Unit 02.

"Please work," she mumbled inside the entry plug of Unit 02. "Even if you just walk a little...It'll be fine. Please, I need this. I've finally found something of worth in my life, and I don't want to lose it. At least, I think I've found it. Just this last time...please help me..."

Unit 02 continued its silence, not relenting as the fifteen year old girl pleaded for help.

"I don't know what happened before, I can't remember it, and something happened to you when I wasn't around. I'm sorry for all that. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, but I've learned the importance of having friends, and I even enjoy spending time with them. I don't want to go back to what I was! I don't want that kind sadness to envelope me like it used!"

Unit 02 continued its silence, its soul closed off to Asuka.

"I don't care about anything else. I don't care if I discover the missing pieces of my memories. I don't care if I learn the significance of those I earrings that comfort me so. Just right now, I want to help the person that is fighting all alone, like me. I don't know how, but I want to help him. I don't want him to die! He's-"

Asuka suddenly felt a chill travel down her spine as the inside of the entry plug flashed white for a brief instance. When Asuka opened her eyes that she had closed when the flash of white happened, she was looking down at a much younger version of herself. She had to be only about four. But slowly, Asuka's eyes traveled to the woman was crouching low above her four year old self. She was patting her on the head while wearing a smile on her face. She had long flowing hair that was similar to her own, and it reached just above her waist. Her eyes were the same color of blue, and when she stood up, Asuka noticed that there features were somewhat similar.

"Mother?" she whispered.

The woman smiled back at Asuka before saying, "Yes, Asuka...I'm glad to see you, even if its for a short while."

"What are you doing here...I mean-" Asuka started frantically, but her mother held up a hand to silence her. Asuka couldn't remember her mother very well, but she did remember the hand, and the stern expression that followed. But her mother was still smiling.

"Its fine Asuka. You don't need to get so tense."

"But what are you-"

"As for what I'm doing here, you should be able to figure that out already."

Asuka gaped openly for a few seconds before she asked, "Are you...the soul of my Unit 02?"

"Correct. After Yui's accident, I was asked to run a similar experiment, though I told them I wouldn't, I didn't want to leave you behind with only your father incase something happened to me."

"But you still did. Were you forced!"

"No, I wasn't. In the end, it was my own decision that did it, and I suppose a little of Yui also."

"Yui? You mean Shinji's mother?"

"I'm glad you know about her, and him of course. I assume you know about his connection with the angels."

Asuka paused for a minute before she said, "I do...but, you're making it sound as though you know him."

"I do, I met him several times when me and his mother were working together, but I met him recently also."

"What? When?"

"When he fought me while I was under the influence of the seventeenth angel. I broke out of Tabris's control though, and fought him with my own will. I wanted to see what kind of man he was growing into because you see, Yui told me when Shinji was only two years old about his real father. I was one of the very few who knew her secret."

"But...why were you curious about him?"

Asuka's mother watched her for a few seconds before she said, "Because I wanted to know what you saw in him."

Asuka spluttered a little at that.

"What I saw in hi...what are you talking about!"

Asuka's mother frowned for a few seconds before she said, "I forgot, you don't remember everything yet, not clearly enough at least."

"What do you mean what I saw in him? That idiot is self centered, cynical, rude, and an all around ass!"

Asuka's mother shook her head at that.

"Shinji is very different than that, though admittedly his angel half has changed a good portion of who he was, but he is essentially still the same person."

"Mother, I don't-"

"Who is Shinji to you Asuka? Why do you care what happens to him when you've never cared about anyone else so strongly, and trust me, I know. Through the eyes of Unit 02, I've watched you as you've grown, and I'm mostly pleased with what I saw. But you were too closed off from everyone else, you hated people."

"But thats because-"

"Because nobody loved you," mumbled Asuka's mother, "and I blame myself for that, because I wasn't around for you...and your father..."

She paused there, unsure how she should continue. Asuka still had no idea about how Shinji had completely crippled her father when he had arrived at Misato's apartment to take her away.

"But now you've met people who genuinely care for you," she said, glossing over the brief mention of her father. "And I'm glad of that, but at the same time sad, because you no longer need the comfort of Unit 02. The feeling you had before, the warmth, was my warmth. The warmth of a mother. But as your thoughts and feelings drifted and grew stronger, the warmth diminished as a new warmth sprung forth and started to blossom."

"I'm not abandoning you!"

"No, you're not, but you're moving on, and I'm proud of you Asuka. You've grown into a beautiful woman who can handle herself. I can hardly think of what you will look like in five years, but I imagine it will be something like a younger version of myself."

"...That wouldn't be so bad," said Asuka. She had always wondered what she would look like older, and this was as clear an example as any.

Asuka stared at her four year old self who was now curled up in a ball and sleeping at mothers feet when she thought of something.

"You said you fought Shinji before...you must have talked with him."

"I did, and at first he mistook me for you...and older version if you will. I was actually rather...rough with him, testing what he was capable of. After he found out it was me though, he couldn't bring himself to destroy Unit 02, knowing how much it meant to you. Even earlier, when Misato told him to destroy me, he refused, saying that it was something he could never do."

"...Why...why does he care about me so much?"

Asuka's mother looked at her evenly for a few seconds before she said, "Thats something you'll have to ask him yourself, but whether he decides to reply is entirely up to him. He still has a say in this after all."

"But how am I even supposed to help him with Unit 02 in this state?"

"Leave that to me, a hundred percent sync ratio will be easy now that you've learned I'm here, and Unit 02 isn't as crippled as one might think. It is after all the combat model."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"After this...after everything...will I see you again?"

Asuka's mother stood their for a minute before shaking her head and said, "I don't know. Probably not, but only Lilith at this point would know. Yui and I are tied to the Evangelions now, and even if we had a body to return to, I don't think are souls would."

"So this is...goodbye?"

Asuka's mother smiled at that.

"Of course not silly. Just remember, that whenever you're lonely, or sad, and the person you care for is not beside you, remember that I'm always here."

At the word here, Asuka's mother placed her right hand over Asuka's heart before embracing her strongly, her hands wrapping around Asuka's back.

"I'm gonna miss you Asuka," she said.

"I'm gonna miss you too mother," replied Asuka.

Slowly the whiteness started to disappear, but not before Asuka saw her four year old self grasping the hand over her mother and waving eagerly at her own retreating self.

'Me as a kid huh?' thought Asuka suddenly as she watched them fade into the distance. 'I've never thought about it much, but when I'm older, will I want children of my own?'

But before that thought could take hold in her mind, she was returned to reality.

Asuka opened her eyes in the entry plug of Unit 02 except that it wasn't dark anymore, it was positively bright. Blinking several times, she looked around remembering bits and pieces of the conversation she had had with her mother, but she couldn't remember all of it. But she felt amazing, like she could do anything right.

'My mother is right beside me...always,' she thought.

Looking ahead, towards the elevator shaft made for the Evangelion Units, she knew that she had to get Unit 02 out of here somehow, and that the elevators were the best bet. Almost at her very thought, Unit 02 responded to her commands and used its working arm to forcefully break the binders holding it in place. Though heavily damaged, and bits of bone and gore poking out of many places of the Eva Unit, Asuka still moved forward in it.

'Who is Shinji to me?' Asuka mouthed the words that her mother had asked her not long ago.

'Who is he to me?' she wondered

Shinji let out a sigh to clear his mind as he stood in the middle of the circle the five remaining Eva Units had created around him. Only five more, and it seemed like an eternity until they would all be defeated.

Crouching low to the ground, Unit 01 suddenly kicked off against it, splintering the ground that its feet had been placed on. Charging towards the nearest Eva Unit, Unit 01 let out an earsplitting roar just before it sunk its fist into the Eva Units chest. Next second, blood and gore exploded out the back of the Eva Unit as Unit 01's AT-field ripped open a hole in its chest.

Quickly turning to the other Eva Units, Unit 01 was forced to dodge out of the way, as one of them thrust a spear towards him. Shifting around the one that had tried to stab him, Unit 01 quickly projected its AT-field as the fists of another came to smashed Unit 01's head open. The clash of flesh against AT-field sent out a discharge of energy, creating a small explosion in the vicinity which kicked of dust and debris.

Skidding backwards from the explosion, just as Unit 01 looked up, it was forced to project its AT-field again as one of Eva Units thrust the spear towards him. But at the last second, Shinji made Unit 01 drop the AT-field and instead grabbed the spear with its hands. It was a wise choice on his part, as next second, the shape of the spear changed shape, into something he had seen before. But it was different, a blackish color instead of the red one he could remember.

"The Lance of Longinus? But how is it here and not still in space?" he wondered. But all the same, he could feel the power that radiated from it now, whether it was the same or different one as before. He knew that if he were pierced by that, no amount of time would fix his battered body.

Dodging several thrust of the spear, he shifted around the side of the Eva Unit and struck it where the kidney should have been. Almost immediately, the Eva Unit became limp and its grasp on the lance was slackened. Taking this chance, Shinji made Unit 01 drive its fist into the side of the Eva Unit's head, blowing its brains out the other side of its head in the process.

Seeing another one of their brothers being killed at Unit 01's hands, the remaining Eva Units became furious. Each of their spears turned into an individual Lance of Longinus, and they all soared into the air above Unit 01.

"Shit..." mumbled Shinji just as the three Eva Units threw the three lances at him.

Flipping backwards with Unit 01, Shinji dodged the three lances, but as he looked up, he saw that the three Eva Units were almost on top of him. Kicking outward, he managed to push one of them backwards, but as he saw a blur of movement, he was forced to roll out of the way as one of their AT-fields sliced into the ground where he had just been.

Flipping back up, Unit 01 caught one of their heads just as it was about to bite into its armor again. Twisting it viscously, Shinji felt the bones snap in the Eva Units neck and let it fall flat to the ground.

The remaining two grabbed the spears which had been sunk into the ground and charged at Unit 01, attempting to stab him multiple times. Managing to dodge all of them, Shinji made Unit 01 bend its back almost all the way to the ground as a spear just passed above his head. Acting quickly, Shinji made Unit 01 thrust its right hand forward and project its AT-field directly through the Eva Units abdomen. A fountain of blood exploded out the back of the Eva Unit as it collapsed on top of Unit 01, pinning him to the ground.

'Damn,' thought Shinji. 'This thing is crushing me.' It felt like he was being crushed by thousands of pillows and blankets.

Though just as he was pushing the dead Eva Unit off him, he felt the presence of the last one above him. It had the Lance of Longinus in its hand. Seeing the look in the Eva's eyes, Shinji knew he had half a second to prevent a fatale blow as the Eva Unit stabbed downward with the Lance of Longinus. The blow which had been intended for the heart, was shifted slightly by Unit 01's arm, so that instead it pierced the bone just bellow the shoulder of the right arm.

Pain exploded where the blow had pierced Unit 01's arm and was transferred to Shinji. The lance had pierced straight through Unit 01's arm, meaning that the same thing had happened to Shinji's arm; his right arm was a bloody mess. The hole was so large that you could see right through it and out the other side. The bone had completely been sheared through, completely splintering it and making yellow bone marrow flow out. Shinji had never felt so much agony it his life. But the Eva Unit wasn't done with him yet.

Yanking the spear roughly out of Unit 01's arm it brought the spear backwards again was just about ready to thrust it forward. Shinji saw the things tongue perturb out of its mouth as though it was smiling over what it was doing. Throwing its head back into the air, it let out a strange screech before plunging the lance downwards towards Unit 01's and Shinji's heart. Though Shinji attempted to block the attack again, he knew that the attempt would be futile and that this time he would really die. He even welcomed it in a way, he would finally free at least.

But no such thing happened.

A flash over orange from somewhere behind suddenly erupted into the vicinity of the Eva Unit which had been about to pierce him. As the brightness vanished though, Shinji saw that the arm which had been surging towards him was completely gone, it had disintegrated. Just as he was about to move though, the Eva Unit dove towards him with its mouth, intending to bite at the jugular and attempting to silence him for good. That was when the second flash of orange erupted, incasing the head of the Eva Unit until the skull exploded, showering Unit 01 its bits of bone and brain matter.

Blinking stupidly for several seconds, Shinji finally got a hold of himself and pushed the dead body of the Eva Unit that had been pinning him to the ground to the side and made Unit 01 stand up, all the way conscious of the gaping wound in his right arm. As he turned around to see what had saved him though, he heard a garbled voice suddenly come over the intercom.

"What the hell do you think you're doing idiot!"

Though Shinji only caught about half of what was spoken, he instantly knew who it was. Spinning around fully now, he saw that Unit 02 was standing there with its battered body and its arm outstretched towards him.

"Asu...ka..." Shinji mumbled quietly inside the entry plug of Unit 01.

Asuka let an indignant 'humph' escape her lips, but she was still smiling ever so slightly.

"I think a word of thanks would be appreciated, since I did just save your butt-"

"You fool! Get out of here now! This is no place for somebody who doesn't even have a functioning Evangelion and hasn't even piloted one in almost a month."

"Big deal," scoffed Asuka as she made Unit 02 slowly walk forward towards Unit 01.

"Why are you being so stupid!"

"Me? I'm being stupid! Look at yourself moron. Who's the one thats taken everything upon themselves without asking for help?"

"I don't need help, and certainly not from yo-"

"Did you ever think about what everyone else would think if you died! What about Misato? What about me!"

"Stop it..."

"No I won't, Shinji. I don't care what you say or do, nor will I listen to you. I'm staying here because of my own will, because I want to. I want to stay here and help you!"

"Stop it Asuka, you're-"

"I spoke with my mother," Asuka blurted out, cutting off Shinji instantly. "She told me that you two talked."

Shinji was silent as he heard her words, but his hands tensed up slightly.

"What did she tell you?"

"Does it matter?"

"...I don't know," said Shinji slowly. "How do you feel about it?"

Asuka hesitated for a second before she said, "I-I don't know. I lot of it I don't understand, still don't understand even after talking with her. But you...and me...something, I don't know-"

"You're just imagining it," said Shinji.

"Am I?" asked Asuka. "I don't think so, and I don't think you believe what you yourself are saying anymore than I do."

"This isn't the place for you."

"And it is for you?"

"I am different than you."

"No you're not!" shouted Asuka, catching Shinji off guard. "How can you not realize it! You and I are the same. I don't care about all the shit about you being part angel or whatever. Its the other stuff that I care about."

"Don't you understand though!" retorted Shinji just as angrily. "Just by being near me you could die at any minute."

"Do you think I don't know that? Do you really think I would even be here without having considered all of that. I know thats its dangerous for me to be here, and I know that I could die if I'm close to you. But I'm past all that, because I couldn't live with myself if I had abandoned you. Just now, if not for me, you would have died. What then? What would have happened to Nerv with that thing still alive?"

"Thats-" started Shinji.

"I'm not budging! Not for you, not for Misato, not for my mother. I'm staying by your side whether you want me to or not."

"...Asuka..."

"Something happened between us, what I don't know, though I can certainly guess. I'm different than how I used to be, whether thats because of you, or something else, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm glad that I was able to meet you, even in this day and age, I'm glad that we could be friends."

Unit 02 stopped a few feet away from Unit 01 waiting for any sign of movement from the Evangelion Unit. Everything Asuka had told him was floating around in Shinji's mind, and he didn't like it. He never would have thought that she would manage to enter the Evangelion chamber and secure her Eva Unit. Misato must have had something to do with that. But here she was, stubborn as always and refusing to leave him. He hated it, hated the fact that he was tied down because of such a reason. He couldn't refuse her, but he couldn't agree with her either.

"Do what you want then, just don't get in my way," he finally said.

"I was planning to anyway," said Asuka as Unit 02 walked past Unit 01, solidifying the fact that they were in this together. Though as Unit 02 continued walking forward Asuka turned and asked Shinji-

"What am I to you?"

Shinji immediately knew the answer, because it had been on his mind for a long time now.

"A distant memory," was his reply.

"I see," mumbled Asuka as she turned away from Unit 01 and Shinji, not wanting him to see the slight smile which parted her lips.

Deep beneath the foundations of Nerv, at the very core of Terminal Dogma where the being Lilith resided, a man and a young girl stood looking up at this giant life like figure.

"It is time, Rei," said Gendo Ikari as he looked up into the face of Lilith.

Rei simply nodded her head in acknowledgement, but above all of them the being known as Lilith watched in silent patience as everything continued to unfold.

Simultaneously, far above Terminal Dogma, in the ruins of Tokyo-3, the Mass Produced Eva Units slowly started regenerating... 


	31. Happenings

**Alright...sorry about the wait on this everyone. I had so much stuff going on in November that I hardly had time to think. But schools over now (and a bunch of other side projects) so now I'm free to work on Spawn of Adam...and my other story. Yeah, I'm doing a Christmas special again. More info on that at bottom of page. I'm gonna try to get a chapter of this out a week before school starts again...so hopefully that will come true. (I can only pray) Have fun reading this!**

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Within an hour of the initial attack by the countries backed by Seele, Tokyo-3 had turned into a ghost town. The entire city was coated in dust and debris from the destruction and the rampaging Eva Units. Buildings lay knocked on their sides with thousands of papers flying through the air and glass covering every inch of ground. The city looked like something right out of the apocalypse. But two people still stood up in this wasteland and waited for the new dawn to break.

After Asuka passed by Shinji in Unit 02, he thought long and hard about what to do next. He had never dreamed that Asuka would have followed him this far, and he had to admire her slightly for that amount of determination she had shown him. Certainly she had never been more sure of something in her entire life before this. But Shinji still didn't like that she was here, because he was starting to get bad vibes.

The Eva Units had been destroyed, that much he was sure of, but something else still didn't feel right, and for a while he thought about Lilith. She was somewhere out there, moving events so that it fell in line with her plans, and he didn't like it. No doubt she knew about him and Asuka, and would no doubt use that to her advantage if she had to.

He also thought about Gendo and Rei, wondering what they were doing, and even Misato. He thought about asking Asuka about it, but was unsure if she would even tell him, and whether he would like the answer. So he preferred to keep his mouth shut, but what did he have left to do? He could hardly travel to every nation looking for Seele, even though it was likely a few of there members may very well be right here in Japan, overseeing their attack against Nerv. He could continue fighting the nations, but what relevance did that really have? No, there was something else he had to do, but he just couldn't figure it out.

"Oi...Shinji? Shinji? ...Idiot! Wake up!"

"What!" snapped Shinji instantly as Asuka pulled him out of his own thoughts.

"Jeez, you don't have to be rude," retorted Asuka.

"And don't you go jabbing me in the side with your Eva Unit!"

Asuka had been poking Unit 01 in its side where the rib cage was with the remaining arm of Unit 02. Of course, because of Shinji's strong connection with Unit 01, he was able to feel every bump, and it was thoroughly annoying him.

"Why are you so pissed?"

"Haven't I told you! Whatever happens to Unit 01 happens to me, so I just felt your Unit 02 poking me, and it felt like a bee sting."

"Well sorry," grumbled Asuka as she turned away from him, and then she noticed the large hole in Unit 01's upper arm. "What about that? I thought that you were able to regenerate, so why isn't that healing?"

"Forget about that," said Shinji as he ignored the pain that coursed through his arm at his own words. "What did you want?"

"What are we supposed to be doing?"

"If I knew, do you think I'd be just standing here?" Shinji snapped back at her.

Asuka then mumbled something about Shinji having a stick up his ass before she said, "The Eva Units are already destroyed, so what is there left? We can hardly attack Seele."

"I know that already," said Shinji annoyed. "But...I don't know...something doesn't feel right."

Asuka watched him for a moment before she said, "Maybe you're just imagining things," scoffed Asuka lightly.

Shinji grimaced at her remark but didn't say anything. Maybe she was right...

No, something else was wrong, but-

Shinji whipped around suddenly as he felt a surge of energy rushing towards them. Turning back around he shouted, "Asuka get out of here, something is-"

Out from the dust and smoke emerged the first Eva Unit that Shinji had defeated. The jaw which had been completely shattered was repaired as though nothing had happened.

With a Lance of Longinus in hand, the Eva Unit rushed at Unit 01, thrusting outward. Ignoring the shouts from Asuka, Shinji made Unit 01 step in front of the Eva Unit, blocking it from attacking Unit 02. Ducking under the attack so that it soared above Unit 01, Shinji struck outward with the fists of Unit 01, catching the Eva Unit in the chest. As the Eva Unit went reeling backwards, Shinji grabbed the Lance of Longinus, and wrenched it out of its grip.

"Hold onto this," Shinji shouted at Asuka as he spun around and threw her the pseudo Lance of Longinus. Asuka mumbled something after he shouted at her, but he wasn't paying attention.

Turning back around, he saw that not only the first Eva Unit, but several of the others had arrived to continue the battle. It was as though he had never fought them in the first place.

"What the fuck!" shouted Asuka. "I thought you defeated them!"

Shinji was silent as he continued staring at there resurrected bodies. He should have seen this coming though. They had the DNA of Kaoru in them, were able to create AT-fields, and now apparently were able to regenerate damaged tissue.

"I did," yelled Shinji back at her, finally answering her question. "But they are able to regenerate like myself!"

"Then how the fuck are we supposed to defeat them!"

'How about you charge at them and act as a decoy,' thought Shinji bitterly, before he turned to the Eva Units slowly gathering around them. If he didn't do something soon, they would be surrounded.

Looking around desperately as though looking for a way out, he suddenly spotted the last Eva Unit that had been defeated, the one that Asuka had sliced in half with Unit 02's AT-field. The sinews and nerves were starting to rejoin the two halves of the bodies and were slowly forming new tendons to connect the muscles.

'If I could destroy that one a little more, it would make the regeneration slower, but it would still regenerate eventually...'

As he finished his thoughts, two Eva Units which had been hiding behind the curtain of dust suddenly charged out in front of him. Cursing slightly, he brought Unit 01's right hand down and generated Unit 01's AT-field, cutting the legs of both Eva Units off in one fluid motion. But it was only a temporary fix to the problem.

"Shinji, to your left!" came Asuka's screech from somewhere behind him.

Not even hesitating to think about her command, Shinji made Unit 01 swing around to its left just in time as the AT-field of the Eva Unit erupted in front of him. Quickly projecting Unit 01's AT-field, the two clashed against each other, sparks ricocheting off each other and falling to the ground. Just as Shinji was thinking about generating his own AT-field, a prog knife came flying from Unit 02's direction and stabbed into the back of the Eva Unit, paralyzing it momentarily. Taking this chance, Shinji forcefully ripped open the Eva's AT-field with Unit 01's, and struck the Eva Unit in the side of its head with Unit 01's fist. The side of the head caved in on itself, creating a large indent. As the Eva Unit toppled backwards, Shinji whipped his head around briefly to see Asuka in Unit 02 giving him an okay sign. He was almost certain that she was smirking inside her entry plug and hated himself for being saved by her again.

'Damn it,' he thought bitterly.

Wrenching the prog knife out of the Eva Unit's back, he stared down at it for a second before he brought the heel of Unit 01 down on its skull, instantly shattering it and created something that looked like cherry jello.

'That should buy us some time.' Shinji cringed slightly at his own words, as us referred to both him and Asuka.

Turning back to the other Eva Units, he stared them down for a few seconds before he mumbled slightly to Asuka.

"I'm going to do something, and I want you to stay directly behind me."

"Why?" asked Asuka with her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Do you need a reason every time I tell you to do something!"

"Ass," grumbled Asuka inside Unit 02's entry plug. But she was smiling slightly.

"Right then," mumbled Shinji.

Taking a few steps forward in Unit 01, he suddenly broke the sound barrier as Unit 01 rushed forward. It was so fast that Asuka blinked, and then Unit 01 was suddenly in front of the Eva Units.

"Idiot, tell me what you're gonna before you do it! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with your stupid speed!"

"Figure it out!" laughed Shinji slightly as he drove Unit 01's fist into the jaw of the nearest Eva Unit, generating the AT-field of Unit 01 simultaneously so that the entire top part of the Eva's head popped off like a cork.

"Jeez," grumbled Asuka as she ran forward with Unit 02 also. Suddenly from her left an Eva Unit emerged out of the dust that Unit 01 had kicked up when it had rushed forward. Dodging the thrust of another Lance of Longinus without too much difficulty, Asuka twirled the lance that Unit 02 had grasped in its own hand and stabbed it into the chest of the Eva Unit. Next second, she made her Unit 02 generate its AT-field, forcing the lance in further and out the other side, creating a gaping hole in the Eva's chest cavity.

"See, I can take care of myself," said Asuka haughtily as Unit 02 straightened up. Though as she looked to her right, she saw that Shinji was fighting three Eva Units at once.

'Show off,' she thought slightly as she picked the Lance of Longinus off the ground and rushed forward to help him.

Feeling Asuka nearing him, Shinji quickly shouted, "Don't come any closer!"

And he was right to stop her.

The three Eva Units all at once discharged their AT-fields directly at Unit 01. The ground was ripped asunder as Shinji generated both his and Unit 01's AT-field, clashing against the other three. Asuka stopped in her tracks as she saw this, amazed that just a thing could actually happen. As she watched though, she started to become worried about Shinji; it was apparent that he was having difficulty holding off the three Eva Units. Though even as she took a hesitant step forward to help he shouted at her-

"DONT FUCKING MOVE!"

Just as Shinji shouted this, he twisted Unit 01 around with a quick side step and broke through one of the Eva Unit's AT-fields, sinking Unit 01's fist into the Eva Unit's stomach. As it reeled backwards, Unit 01 ducked down quickly and swung its leg around, catching the other two Eva Units so that they fell down. With the AT-fields down, Shinji made Unit 01 bring back its fist and drive it into the head of one of the downed Eva Units. The skull crushed, splattering the ground with bone, gore, and brain matter.

Turning to the other downed Eva Unit, Shinji suddenly felt a sharp pain in his leg as the Eva Unit had grabbed ahold of Unit 01's left leg, and bitten into it. A large chunk of Shinji's own leg was ripped apart, leaving the bone sticking out a a strange angle. Screaming venomously, Shinji grabbed the head of the Eva Unit and yanked its head upwards, before punching a hole straight through its chest. Throwing away the body, Shinji winced slightly at the gaping hole in his leg before he turned towards the other Eva Unit just in time, as he was forced to dodge as a Lance of Longinus was lunged towards him.

'If I get hit by that again, I don't know if I'll be able to continue,' thought Shinji.

As the Eva Unit thrust the lance again towards him, Unit 01 grabbed it with both arms, making pain sear through Shinji's shoulder. Attempting to twist it out of the Eva Units grasp, Shinji was about to pull it out of its grasp, when its AT-field suddenly erupted in front of him. Catching Shinji by surprise, he was forced to let go of the Lance of Longinus and dive backwards as the AT-field rushed after him. Skidding against the broken up ground, Shinji suddenly generated Unit 01's AT-field and crashed it against the Eva Units. Sparks flew and fell to the ground as the two raw energies crashed against each other. Dust flew into the air while large chunks of earth were thrown into the air before being turned to dust by the ensuing energy.

'Damn it, its just one more...but-' Not only was Shinji's wounded shoulder paining him, but his leg seemed to be taking longer to heal. It was possible that a splinter from the Lance of Longinus that had pierced him had a fragmented piece still lodged in the shoulder of Unit 01.

As Shinji was about to break the AT-field of the Eva Unit though, he felt another presence nearing him, and next second, instantly knew who it was.

"Don't-"

But he was cut off as the Lance of Longinus that he had thrown Asuka earlier pierced straight through the neck of the Eva Unit, creating a fountain of blood that spewed outward and covered Unit 01. The Eva Unit dropped almost instantly, its AT-field dissipating and the lance it had had in its hand dropping from its grasp. As it fell to the ground, Shinji saw Unit 02 standing directly behind it with the lance still extended. The two looked at each other for a few seconds amidst the body of Eva Units before Asuka said-

"What, don't I deserve a thank you?" asked Asuka.

Shinji snorted slightly and turned away from her, ignoring the glare that he knew she was giving him.

"Fine, be that way," grumbled Asuka as she turned away from him and started walking away before pausing slightly and turning back around.

"Is your leg okay?"

Shinji didn't bother turning around, but he did eventually say, "Its fine, it'll heal on its own."

"Then what about your shoulder?" asked Asuka with her eyebrows slightly raised.

Shinji finally turned around and stared at her for a few moments before he said, "Thats a little...different. I was pierced by a Lance of Longinus earlier...even I can't regenerate from a wound from that supposed holy relic."

"I see," mumbled Asuka as she looked down.

Shinji continued looking at her for a few seconds before he sighed and said, "Don't worry about me and get out of here. These things are likely going to continue regenerating, so I'll just have to keep killing them."

"Haven't I already told you that I'm staying with you," she said.

"I think you've made yourself pretty clear about that," replied Shinji, "but it doesn't mean that I have to agree with you."

"I've saved your ass several times now, so at most you should be grateful."

"Like that'll ever happen," laughed Shinji as he turned away from her, and starting walking towards a nearby Eva Unit which he assumed would be regenerating soon. Though with him walked Asuka.

"What are these things exactly?" she asked after they looked down at the mangled body of the Eva Unit for a moment.

Shinji paused for a moment before he decided it wouldn't hurt to tell her though he decided to start off snide.

"What? Misato never told you?"

"Well...she did I think..."

"Idiot," mumbled Shinji.

Asuka then took a swipe at Unit 01 with Unit 02 but missed horribly.

"Are you going to tell me or what!"

"If you stop annoying me I will," laughed Shinji, but quickly clammed up. 'Damn it,' he thought, 'I can't let myself get dragged into her pace...'

"Fine..." Shinji paused here for a minute as though gathering his thoughts, though in actuality wishing he could get away from her.

"The Eva Units, or the Mass Produced Eva Units were created by Seele to replace the Prototype, Test Type, and the Combat Type."

"So mine, yours, and the pets in other words," said Asuka.

"...Right," said Shinji testily, making it apparent he didn't want her interrupting her.

"The Eva Units were created from the DNA of Kaoru Nagisa, or Tabris, the final angel. They all have the S2 engines that allow them to run for an indefinite amount of time, are able to regenerate, and can generate an AT-field rivaling that of the Combat Type. They don't seem to have much intelligence but seem to grow angry with the death of their comrades. Other than that I really don't know much about them. I figured Misato would know more, but she never told me much about them."

Asuka was silent for a minute as she soaked all this in but she eventually asked, "I can't imagine that being all to them."

"Nor can I admittedly," said Shinji. "I can't see Seele creating them just to replace the other Eva Units. Even the later Combat Types were cancelled to produce the Mass Produced Units."

"Hey Shinji?"

"...What?"

"What about the Lance of Longinus? I thought there was only one of them?"

"So did I. The real one should still be floating in space."

"What? When the hell did that happen?"

Shinji was silent at Asuka's question, thinking about the many possible answers and coverups until he finally said, "Ayanami saved you with the lance when the twelfth angel attacked you."

"How do you know that?" asked quickly, almost accusingly at Shinji.

"I only heard about it," shrugged Shinji.

Asuka watched him for a moment before she said, "I remember something about that...but everything is still hazy..."

Shinji didn't bother commenting on that and instead turned his attention back to the Eva Unit which had started regenerating. Quickly generating Unit 01's AT-field, he slashed into the reforming tissue of the Eva Unit, splattering the reformed muscles and tendons across the ground.

"Hey Shinji?"

"Now what?" he snapped back at her, getting irritated.

Asuka ignored the tone of his voice though and asked, "These...well, Lances of Longinus that the Eva Series have, they function like the original-"

"Seems to be that way," Shinji grumbled as he briefly glanced at his mangled arm.

"-and they seem to be able to destroy AT-fields and they prevented yourself from regenerating. So shouldn't that also be the same for the Eva Series?"

It took her words a few seconds to register with him, but when they did-

"Are you saying that we should stab each of the Lances of Longinus into the Eva Units?"

"Its worth a shot," said Asuka as she shrugged her shoulders. "And I can't think of anything that has a better chance of doing something. Its not like we can just keep killing them only to have them regenerate."

Shinji hated to admit it, but she was right, and she did have a point. If they were anything like himself, then that should work. Though speaking of which, didn't Asuka already kill two Eva Units with the lance?

Looking over at the bodies of the crippled Eva Units, Shinji quickly picked out the ones that Asuka had stabbed. Walking over to them, he looked down at the corpses and saw what the lance had done. It was similar to what he had expected he supposed, since the same thing had virtually happened to him. The entire body of the Eva Unit was perfectly fine, except for the large hole in its chest where the lance had penetrated. The wound was still bleeding profusely, and though the Eva Unit moved ever so slightly, it was apparent that it wouldn't be attacking them anymore. Looking over at the other Eva Unit that Asuka had killed by piercing it through its neck, he saw virtually the same thing happening, though he figured the neck was more painful then the chest wound.

"Give me the lance," said Shinji after he was done looking at the bodies.

"Why?" replied Asuka.

"...You were right," Shinji said as he started walking towards her. "The lance does affect them, or at least paralyze them would be more accurate."

"...So what are you going to do?" asked Asuka as she passed the lance to Unit 01.

"Remove each of their heads with this thing," mumbled Shinji as he grasped the lance she had thrown him and pierced it directly into the skull of a nearby Eva Units head. Wrenching the lance upward, he ripped off the top part of its skull, splattering bone and brain matter across the ground. Asuka turned away though as he did this; she had seen enough death recently and was thoroughly sick of it.

"You don't have to watch if you don't want to," said Shinji as he flicked the Lance of Longinus, removing some brain matter from the end of it. He had noticed her slight discomfort at what he had done.

"I don't plan on it...but its just that, there's so much death here."

"Didn't I tell you not to follow me," said Shinji as he turned away from her. Asuka bit back the remark she wanted to shout at him; she was still feeling sick about what she had seen.

"I'm not just talking about here though, Nerv, Dogma, Tokyo-3, why did all of this happen?"

Still walking, Shinji said, "Not sure, Seele had likely planned to attack Tokyo-3 long before this, and after...Kaoru died, it was only a matter of time. Though I suppose that they wanted to kill me also, for what I am."

"Is that why you're fighting by yourself? Because you think this is all your fault?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," replied Shinji evasively, "doesn't really make a difference why they're here in the end does it?"

Asuka frowned at him for a second, wishing she could get a better understanding of him, but she had to admit that it didn't matter in the end. They attacked here for only one reason, and that was to kill everyone.

"No, I suppose it doesn't...but Misato...and Kaji...Ritsuko...everyone-"

"It's no use dwelling on them. If they are alive, they are alive. If there not, then there not."

"Don't you care about them-"

"Course I do, but what I'm doing right now is something that only I can do. I can recognize that. If I wasn't here...a lot more people would be dead right now," said Shinji remorsefully.

Asuka stared at him for a few seconds, watching him peer over an Eva's body before plunging the lance into its head and then wrenching it out moments later.

"Are Misato and Kaji alive?" she eventually asked in almost a whisper, but Shinji caught her words.

For a moment, he didn't say anything, and continued the maiming of the Eva Units, but after killing another one, he paused and said-

"I don't think so...at least, their AT-fields have disappeared."

"You think so?" asked Asuka incredulously, amazed that he could evade such a question. "What do you mean you think so?"

"Just that," replied Shinji simply. "I haven't seen their bodies, nor have I gotten anything like a vision of them in a while, and even if I did, I wouldn't trust it right now. But I can't feel their AT-fields, which likely means that they have died..."

"But you said you think so," Asuka replied crossly.

Shinji finally plunged the lance into the last of the Eva Units and stood up with Unit 01 to its full height. The sun reflected off the purple metallic bindings that protected Unit 01, bathing the blood splattered ground in an almost blue hue.

"I've finally stopped the Eva Units, but something else is bothering me..." mumbled Shinji.

"We stopped them," Asuka reminded him, "though what does this have to do with Misato and Kaji?"

Shinji was silent as he looked up into the sky, expecting to see a hawk or something. His mind was clouded over. The Eva Units were defeated, so what did Seele have left to throw at him? He almost expected something to strike him at any moment, but nothing did. Still looking around, he looked down towards where Terminal Dogma was, and wondered what Gendo, and more importantly Lilith was doing.

"Are you nervous Shinji?" asked Asuka after a few moments of silence between them.

"What?" asked Shinji, making it apparent that he had not heard her.

"Are you nervous?" she repeated, "you keep looking up at the sky and down at the ground."

"No...not nervous, more like...anxious," he replied.

Asuka frowned at him. He was normally so sure of himself, at least the times she had seen him, so this uncertain side to him was a little unnerving.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure its all in your mind," said Asuka, making fun of him again.

Shinji ignored her as though she wasn't even there, which Asuka didn't care for.

"Hey! Did you hear me idiot!"

"Can't you even give me two seconds of quiet?" asked Shinji rudely, as he turned towards her.

"What! So you can get all moody and glassy eyed?"

Shinji groaned audibly as she continued berating him.

He wasn't sure why he was anxious, though he unwilling though that nervous might be a better word. Whatever it was though, several thousand feet below him in Terminal Dogma, he wasn't liking the feel of it.

"What are you doing Lilith?"

* * *

The eyes of Gendo Ikari traveled up the enormous body that was Lilith as he took in every detail, of its being, or was it her? He had never really determined this. What he was determined of though, was that he was about to be reunited with the person he had loved. Looking down at his disfigured right hand, he saw more dead tissue fall to the ground. If he didn't hurry, he'd likely be dead in an hour. Turning towards the person beside him, who was also looking up at the body that was Lilith, he looked at the figure known as Ayanami Rei.

"It is time, Rei," he mumbled.

Ayanami Rei turned towards him ever so slightly, breaking her gaze away from Lilith, as though it pained her. Without voicing her displeasure, or opinion, she slow walked towards him and offered herself to him. Though as Gendo reached towards her, preparing for the joining of Adam and Lilith's DNA, a voice inside the chamber spoke out to him.

"So you're really going to go through with this Commander Ikari."

Gendo spun around quickly, unholstering a gun in his jacket pocket as he went, expecting to see Ritsuko there, but met nothing but empty air.

"Up here!" came the voice again.

Looking upwards, Gendo opened his mouth in surprise as he saw that a person was sitting on the shoulder of Lilith, and for a minute he confused that person with Rei. But she was standing beside him...or was the person beside him now up their.

"Would you prefer it if I called you Gendo?" came Yui's voice.

Gendo stared up into the face of the person that he had always loved...Yui.

"Yui...what are you-"

"Jeez, you've really made a mess of things," sighed Yui as she crossed her legs. "Not only did you steel Adam's DNA from Shinji, but you really intend on creating Third Impact just to see me again."

"But you're right here...now...the soul of Unit 01-"

"Shinji will be fine without me with him," said Yui. "He's grown to be able to take care of himself, and those around him. It even seems that he's found someone he loves. Even though you two aren't even father and son, it seems that you two share similarities anyway. Maybe he picked up on certain things just by watching. As I recall, you'd always loved me since our high school days, we even dated a few times."

"Me and him are nothing alike," said Gendo abrasively.

"You always did look at it from a biological perspective," sighed Yui. "Maybe that's why you were never able to get along with him. But you did take care of him, and I suppose I should be grateful for that."

"I only did so so I could get the DNA from him."

"Liar," said Yui simply, "face it, you loved him in your own way, maybe because you found him as a link to me, though it seems you've found an adequate replacement for that as well."

Yui said this as she nodded to Rei, who had not moved, or even gave indication she had heard Yui.

"No Yui, you were always in my heart. Why do you think I went to such lengths to see again. Even now-"

"But what about Shinji? What does he want? What does everyone else want? Why do you always think of yourself? Why are you always so selfish?"

Yui suddenly jumped from the place she was sitting on Lilith's shoulders and flew down to the ground, landing easily and gracefully on the hard cement floor.

"My selfishness may be overlooked by the fact that I love you," said Gendo convincingly.

"Hmmm, that may be true," said Yui, "but don't forget Gendo that the current generation will never outlive the future, nor is the future determined by us adults, but by the future generation. You and Seele don't differentiate in this, and they still set incredible stock by the Dead Sea Scrolls, even though they were written by man."

"I never said anything like that, it was only my wish to see you-"

"And you got to see me did you not? Is it really necessary for you to create Third Impact just for the sake of seeing me? Everyone will be as one, yet at the same time I will not be myself, and nor will you be yourself."

"But I didn't see anyway of seeing you otherwise-"

"Did you ever consider death?" asked Yui.

Gendo was surprised by this question, for it was something he had never considered, and never would.

"Of course not Yui, you were the person who taught me life always has meaning."

"Then why are you so determined to turn all of humanity to soup just to see me again?"

"Because I lov-"

"You loved me, I know that already. I've heard you telling me that at least three times in the last three minutes," she snapped at him.

Gendo cringed back slightly at her words. Her voice had suddenly turned harsh.

"You always followed after me, even after I was already married, even after I had Shinji. During the creation of the Evangelions you still followed me around."

"But we were keeping up the facade that we were married. That you were my wife."

"And didn't you ever realize that you repulsed me!" Yui replied scornfully.

Gendo felt like his entire world had shattered at her words. What had he been doing all his life then if what he thought true was not. The last fifteen years of his life had been wasted then. This, Nerv, Shinji, everything had been wasted away.

"Nothing...nothing whatsoever..."

"Never," replied Yui, "I never felt a thing for you, it was all in your imagination. The delusions of a lonely old man. That was probably why you cared for Shinji, because you always wanted a son of your own-"

Gendo broke at this point and rushed towards Yui, swinging his right arm downward and generating his own AT-field as he went. His AT-field crashed into Yui, instantly destroying her on the spot. A fountain of blood leapt on high where the upper part of her torso had been, spewing blood and gore across the room. Breathing heavily, Gendo looked down at his loved one with his eyes watering, making his glasses blurry and hard to see. He had blood drenched down the front of his normally neatly kept shirt and pants. But how could she have done it? How could she have rejected his feelings so brutally. How could she have-

"You shouldn't have done that honey," came a sickening blood choked voice from his right. Gendo turned just to see Yui standing inches away from his face, half her face a bloody pulp and her eyes and ears bleeding like candle wax. Gendo just had time to open his mouth in half a scream when an AT-field cleanly sliced his rotted arm off, sending it skidding across the floor as black rotted blood shot out of the stump of an arm.

Gendo screamed in agony as he cradled his destroyed arm. A black mucus like substance was slowly trickling out of his bloody arm, while the arm itself had turned an ashen black.

"You should feel much better now that your human body doesn't have this eating into it, though I suppose thats little consolation to you."

Gendo looked up and saw that the person who was Yui was clutching the blackened arm that she had sliced off. The destroyed side of her face was slowly reforming itself, along with the bottom half, which floated below the torso, creating new tendons and nerves which formed together.

"You...you..." muttered Gendo as black blood frothed up and spilled out his mouth.

"Yes?" spoke Yui as a purple mask materialized on her face. Next second, she pulled it off to reveal blankness: a face with nothing on it.

"Lilith," mumbled Gendo.

"Took you long enough," laughed Lilith. "And I thought you couldn't be nearly that stupid to believe that Yui was back in the present world. I mean, sure her soul is trapped in Unit 01, but for it to materialize here of all places. You'd have to be fuckin insane! Though I guess that fits with you."

"You...everything..."

"Sometimes I wonder if I made you too stupid when I created you humans. The black moon should have wizened you up a little, but then again I guess its best you don't get too smart."

Taking the arm and breaking it off at the hand, Lilith looked at it for a moment before she held it up to her stomach and her stomach seemed to open up for it, eating it as though it were a mouth.

"Ah, finally I got the DNA of Adam. Sorry you had to go through all that trouble just to hand it over to myself."

Turning to Rei, she gestured towards her and said, "You'll of course be coming with me, since you are part of me after all. I'm sorry that I left you all alone like that, but you have been rather convenient when I haven't been around."

Rei finally seemed to acknowledge Lilith's presence and looked at her for a second before Lilith answered her unanswered question.

"We go to Shinji now of course...and her. Yes...I think this is best, and from the feel of things, the Eva Series has been defeated. Hmmm, and of course the Tree of Life awaits us." Turning back to Gendo, she said, "Well, I'm really sorry about deceiving you like that, but you know, a good portion of that was real after all, though I'm sure you know that already. You never know though, you may get lucky and see Yui in the next life, though that of course all depends on Shinji."

Lilith then floated upward with Rei, and stood before the giant body that was herself.

"Time to start moving I suppose. Those two should be ready for me..."

* * *

Asuka continued looking over at Shinji as he resumed his staring up at the sky. She wondered what was making him so anxious, though she herself thought it more like nervousness. She had a million things that she wanted to ask him, but was either to unsure of herself, or that he would flat out refuse her if she asked something a bit...questionable.

"Hey...Shinji?"

Whether he ignored her or just didn't hear her, Asuka didn't know, but she continued anyway.

"How well...do you know me exactly?"

"Huh?" Shinji finally asked, though he continued looking up at the sky.

"Do you know me?"

Shinji paused for a moment before he asked, "What do you mean?"

"How well do you know me? Misato said something before, about her watching us grow up together."

Shinji was silent, unsure of how he should reply. Asuka was acting the complete opposite of what he had expected from her. When he had threatened her with his AT-field, he had been certain that she would not follow him, was certain that she wouldn't be in his life anymore. But she became curious again, and Shinji was starting to wonder if part of that was because of how he had acted when he had said goodbye to her. He was positive that that was the last time he was seeing her when he left her and Rei at the elevator, but now seeing her in front of him, and guessing what she had gone through to obtain Unit 02 again... He wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"Why do you think I know you?" he said eventually. "We only meet a few-"

"Like I said," replied Asuka testily. "Misato told me that she was glad she could see us grow up together."

Shrugging, Shinji said, "She was lying."

"No she wasn't...not the way she said it. It was one of the only things I know to be true."

"Why is that?"

"Because of the way you denied it."

Shinji blinked, not expecting her to say something like that.

"...Shinji," said Asuka after a moment of silence. "What were we to each other? Why do I feel so...confused every time I talk to you? Why is it that I'm able to be so open with you, even though I barely know you?"

"No idea," said Shinji with no emotion.

Asuka looked at him in Unit 02 before she sighed and said, "Fine, be that way."

Shinji turned away from her quickly then, not wanting to have to see her. He was having difficulties keeping his emotions in check, especially the angel half of him. He had always known that Asuka had a strong will, but he had never guessed she'd be able to retain a part of her emotions towards him.

"...Shinji," came Asuka's voice suddenly very close to him. Hearing this, Shinji quickly turned back around and saw that Unit 02 was directly in front of him.

"What are you-" Shinji started quickly, but cut himself off as the entry plug of Unit 02 suddenly shot out of the neck of Unit 02. Watching silently, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing, Shinji saw Asuka climb out of the entry plug and slid down its smooth surface. Standing up, Asuka looked towards Unit 01 and opened her mouth before shouting-

"IDIOT!"

Shinji was so surprised by her sudden shout that he almost toppled over inside Unit 01. How could she be so stubborn as to pull something like this?

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" shouted Shinji with almost equal volume. "Get back inside Unit 02 and-"

"I won't," replied Asuka as she crossed her arms. "Not until you tell me what happened between us!"

"Nothing happened you moron!" yelled Shinji.

Asuka stood her ground though and put her hands on her hips.

"Shinji, I'm not stupid. I know everybody's been lying to me since the moment I woke up from whatever the hell happened to me. Maybe my mind was invaded by an angel, maybe it wasn't and something else happened. I don't know, nor do I fucking care how I lost my memory anymore. What I can't stand is that you keep on ignoring whatever it is we had. Maybe you want to forget it for your own reasons, and I can understand that with what you've been through. But I'm telling you this right now: I understand you! We are alike Shinji, and thats why I think I'm drawn to you, ass-hole as you may be. I fucking hate it, and can't stand seeing your stupid face every damn day as though no matter where I go I see you. But the other part of me wants to know you, really know you. I don't care what you say, or how you act around me, because I know that you were doing it to shun me. Maybe you thought it was best that we didn't see each other, because of whatever happened between us, whatever happened to me that caused that section of my memory to be erased. But everything that I remember, there are large blanks, and not just of the Eva battles. At school, at Misato's apartment, here at Nerv, it's almost as though somebody was cut out of my life. I don't like not knowing what that was, because I believe that those were the happiest moments of my life, those memories which I no longer have. So please tell me, I want to know what we were, what we had. Even if its something that I wont like...I don't care. I want you to tell me Shinji..."

Asuka took a deep breath as she finished this and then exhaled, releasing all her pent up thoughts and emotions in the process. Feeling tired slightly, she rested her hands on her knees for a minute as she allowed herself to catch her breath, and then looked up at Unit 01 and Shinji, who hadn't moved an inch.

"Your answer..." she whispered softly.

Shinji watched her from the cockpit of Unit 01, his mind a blur. Everything he had ever done with Asuka, every word he had spoken to her, every caress of her skin, or touch of her hair whirled around his mind until he became dizzy of it. It made him sick that he could be brought to his knees with such words. He hated himself for letting her words affect him so, but still, a small part of him also wanted it to happen. The possible hope that maybe things could go back to what they were.

'But thats all a lie,' he told himself. 'You're just imagining what you want to happen and not worrying about the actuality of it. Its impossible! I made my mind up a long time ago!'

'But she wants to try nonetheless, even though she knows the risks of it. And would she be here if she didn't care for you? Here at the center of everything.'

'But we don't know if we can survive it, I don't know if I can!'

'Isn't that the point of it? You don't know if will work, but you don't know if it wont work either.'

'I can't deal with the uncertainty.'

'You have to if you want to reconcile everything. Your feelings for each other will certainly-"

'What feelings! Its just a shadow of something that used to exist!'

'...But it did use to exist, and there is value in that. Why don't you just admit that you feel for her?'

'I don't feel anything for that bitch! I never did!'

'Then what was the kiss about?'

Shinji's eyes flew open at that as the very vivid memory came rushing back to him. The darkness of the room, the outline of her body resting comfortably on the hospital bed, the warmth of her lips as he kissed her-

"Its a lie," mumbled Shinji inside Unit 01.

'Whats a lie and what isn't?'

"I don't know..."

'Why are you doing this to yourself?'

"I don't know..."

'Why wont you try?'

"I don't know..."

'Are you scared?'

"...Maybe..."

'What are you scared of?'

"...Knowing that she's not okay. Knowing that I did something to harm her. I can't...let that happen... I can't-"

Shinji?

"No...I don't want to let that happen to her. I don't-

Shinji?

"Because of her I...I was able to continue...without her I-

Shinji!

"Don't bother me, I don't know, I don't know!"

"SHINJI!"

"WHAT!" he shouted with everything he could muster. Realizing that he had been stationary for several minutes, he looked around wildly before his eyes settled on Asuka.

"Asu...ka," he mumbled. Blinking several times, he noticed something pearly white floating in the entry plug before disappearing because of the high concentration of LCL fluid.

"My...tears?" he wondered.

"Shinji! Answer me!" Asuka suddenly shouted at him. "What am I to you! What are we together!"

"You...Me...We..." Shinji repeated.

Ah...so thats it...

I think I know...the answer

Shinji smiled slightly at his realization, something that he had been running away from the entire time.

Asuka continued watching Unit 01 waiting for a response from Shinji. Though when it didn't seem he was gonna reply again, she started opening her mouth, but as she did, the entry plug from Unit 01 was ejected out. Asuka eyes widened just as Shinji's had done as he stepped out of the entry plug. Instead of sliding down it as Asuka had done though, he materialized his AT-field and seemed to be jumping from ledge to ledge in midair as he made his way down to Unit 01's shoulder.

"Shinji..." Asuka whispered slightly as Shinji feet final touched down on Unit 01's shoulder. He didn't move from that spot.

"Asuka!" Shinji suddenly shouted at her, catching her slightly off balance with his shout. Catching herself before she slid down its back-

"You idiot!" she shouted back at him. "You almost made me fall-"

"We were friends!"

"...Huh?"

Shinji stared back at her with such determination that Asuka felt her cheeks turn pink slightly.

"F-Friends? Don't be an idiot, we hate each other. We-"

"Thats not it though!" Shinji shouted back at her, silencing her almost instantly. "Asuka you...you were somebody who was irreplaceable in my life. Someone special...and I think you felt the same towards me."

"Huh? Did you hit your head climbing out of that entry plug?"

Shinji laughed silently. "You're exactly as you used to be, always thinking up stuff like that on the spot. The truth is, we both lived at Misato's apartment during our time at Nerv. We went to school together, ate meals together, watched T.V. together, and fought the angels together. Everything we did was together...because we formed a bond."

"...Now I really think something is wrong with you," said Asuka as she held her face in her hands, though she was smiling slightly.

"Nothing is wrong with me...at least now," said Shinji. "I was just denying everything...I didn't want to admit it, because then I'd have to realize how wrong I was."

"What were you wrong about?"

Shinji was silent for a minute before finally take a breath and saying, "I suppose it would be the bond I talked about earlier. I took it for granted...and things ended up as they did."

Asuka frowned slightly as she looked at him.

"So...we were friends..."

"We argued a lot, and made fun of each other, but we were definitely friends. Looking out for each other when the other was down, helping the other in their time of need. Honestly, if it wasn't for you being there with me, I would have lost control of my angel powers a long time ago."

"But why don't I remember any of this? I mean...I remember some I suppose, flashes and such. But-"

"The angels," said Shinji simply. "From what I remember Ritsuko telling me, the angel that invaded your mind searched for memories of me. It was too much of a strain though and everything that was related to me was destroyed so that the rest of your mind would remain intact."

"And you didn't think to help me regain them? You said that we helped each other when the other was troubled."

"I didn't want to risk the chance of harming you further. The way I saw it, everything that you had ever been through was a direct link with me. If you no longer had anything to do with me, then you would be fine. Though you became interested in me of your own free will, which I didn't expect. It goes back to the bond that we formed."

"I don't understand..."

"What don't you understand."

Asuka looked at him for a few seconds, bit down on her lips before she said, "Alright, so we were friends. But I still don't understand why you tried to stay away from me to the point of threatening me."

"Asuka...I've seen you die too many times, and I don't care to live out any of those scenarios."

"Wh-What are you talking about?"

Shinji was silent for a minute until he looked up towards the cloudy sky and said, "As best as I can tell, there is only one plane on which this planet rests, only one dimension where I exist and where you exist. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know. I can see visions of possible futures, and based on that information I can change the outcomes of the futures by altering my actions and the actions of others around me. I've seen you die in many different scenarios, all of which I was able to prevent. But there was always that thought of 'what if' in the back of my mind. 'What if I made a mistake? What if she dies?' That thought gnawed at me until the day your memories of me disappeared and you became unfit to pilot Unit 02. I decided that I would walk away from you then, and not involve myself with you."

"But that didn't work," finished Asuka quietly.

"No, that didn't," said Shinji as he looked back at her. "You searched me out and tried talking to me. I don't know if that was your superiority complex, or simple curiosity. The worst mistake I probably made though was going to Misato's apartment after swearing to never step foot in there again. I thought I could deal with seeing you again, seeing you in an environment I was so used to. The empty room at her apartment, used to be my room. But I was wrong, and everything went down hill from there, especially today. I destroyed the elevators in the Evangelion chamber, thinking you'd never make it there, but you found a way in. Not to mention you're still able to pilot Unit 02, though I suppose that has something to do with your mom."

Asuka crossed her arms and looked at him while frowning slightly. "There are still a lot of things that I don't understand, and your logic makes so sense. So what if you saw me dying thousands or even hundreds of thousands of times. They weren't real!"

"How would you like it if you saw someone you cared for dying repeatedly and all you could do was stand there and watch."

"I-Idiot, don't say it like that. Someone you care for...makes it sound like..."

Asuka's face was scrunched up slightly in embarrassment now at Shinji's words.

"Now let me ask you something," said Shinji. "How much do you remember."

"I told you, just flashes of things, but whenever I'm around you...hmmm...I don't know how to say it. But the earrings...and the fried rice you made, those I think are the things that stand out vividly for me."

"Objects then," sighed Shinji.

"And certain emotions I feel occasionally," Asuka replied. "...Hey Shinji?" Asuka said after a few moments.

"What?"

"How much do you remember?"

"More than you do, but its hazy. A lot I forgot after my battle with Kaoru, because my angel powers woke all the way. If I try, I can remember things though..."

"What about after all this?"

"...After this?"

"I want you to tell me more...about when we lived in Misato's apartment, and I also want to hear it from Misato herself."

"Yeah...that will be okay," said Shinji, not voicing the problems with that promise.

"One last thing Shinji."

"Huh?"

"...You know...never mind, I don't think I want to know that..."

"Hmmm? Okay then," mumbled Shinji.

'Its fine like this,' he told himself. 'If its just like this, then its fine...'

'But you lied,' said a small voice in his head.

'Friends...just friends...'

"Asuka, its best if we get back in our Eva Units..."

"Huh? Oh...you're probably right."

Smiling ever so slightly, Asuka turned away from Shinji, her strawberry colored hair flowing behind her and started climbing back up Unit 02 to the entry plug. Shinji meanwhile watched her ascend the entire way until he was positive that she was inside her entry plug.

'This is enough,' he thought.

Turning towards Unit 01, he looked up into its face and let out a low sigh. Knowing what likely came next, he used his AT-field to jump through the air back to his entry plug. Though he stopped in mid air as he felt something. Looking down towards the ground, his gazed pierced through the earth and down into the bowels of Terminal Dogma where he felt a strong AT-field drawing quickly towards them.

'Lilith? No...Ayanami?'

Knowing that he didn't have time, he hurried back into Unit 01's entry plug and through himself at the controls.

"Asuka!" he yelled quickly at her.

"Huh? What do you want now? Or is there something else you want to say-"

"No! We've got a problem! Lilith is coming. Get out of here fast!"

"Idiot, didn't I say that I'm staying with you-"

"That doesn't matter right now! What matters is that you get out of here now-"

...Too late...

A white shape emerged out of the ground aways away from where Unit 02 stood. It seemed to pass directly through the earth as though it was transparent. Limbs sprung forth from the ground as the massive body of Lilith continued upwards into the sky. As Shinji continued watching though, he noticed that the mask it had worm before was gone, and that now a face similar to that of Ayanami Rei adorned it. The eyes were a blood red just as Shinji's, but he could feel a malice which he had never felt before.

'We have to move,' he thought. Turning towards Asuka, he was about to tell her this, but saw that her mind was preoccupied on something else. The Eva Series, which they seemed to have defeated were rising up again and pulling the many Lances of Longinus out of their bodies.

'No...way,' thought Shinji. 'Even now, they still aren't defeated?'

Turning his gaze back to Lilith, he saw that white wings were sprouting from her back. As he continued watching in horror, he thought briefly of Gendo, and what had happened to him, but brushed it aside. He didn't have to worry about that bastard anymore. But where was Ayanami?

For answer, he had to look at the spot between Lilith's breasts. The body of Ayanami Rei seemed to have joined with that of Lilith's. One body, one mind.

"Ayanami..." Shinji whispered, not believing what he was seeing. But no, he had to focus on somebody else. Asuka was in danger.

"Asuka!" he shouted as he turned towards her. Though again, she didn't respond. Thinking quickly, he didn't see any alternative and quickly rushed to Unit 02 side. Not knowing whether this would work or not, he projected his AT-field and encased it around the entry plug of Unit 02. Yelling with everything he had he shouted hoarsely at her-

"ASUKA!"

His feelings seemed to have gotten through to her, because the glassy eyed expression she had had disappeared as she heard his voice. Looking around quickly, she jumped suddenly as she seemed to notice the strange presence that was enveloping her.

"Shinji wha-"

"Don't worry about it," he yelled back at her, hoping she hadn't felt the emotion that had filled him up as he used his AT-field.

"But-"

"No time! Just get out of here now!"

"But you-"

"I'll be fine! Just move it! If anything happens to you..." Shinji left his sentence dangling not willing to voice those words, and admittedly, he was still stubbornly lying to himself.

Asuka was silent for a second before she finally nodded her head and said, "Alright, if it means that much to you...but if you need any help-"

"I'll be fine," Shinji curtly cut across her.

Asuka gazed at him for a few seconds longer before she nodded her head and said, "I know...just a little longer then..."

"Yes," replied Shinji, not quiet understanding what she was getting at.

"Be safe," said Asuka. As she said this, an almost uncontrollable desire to grab ahold of Shinji and wrap him in her warmth seemed to envelop her, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. If there was an after...well...

Without another word, Asuka turned away with Unit 02 and past Unit 01, running in the opposite direction. Though unbeknownst to Shinji, Asuka was silently crying...

Shinji didn't turn around as Asuka left; only his eyes were fixed on Lilith and the Eva Units, being sure that they wouldn't pursue Asuka. Though when he was certain that she was far enough away, he finally spoke.

"Lilith...what do you want with me? And furthermore, I'm telling you only once to let Ayanami go,"

Lilith was silent for a while, silently glaring down at Shinji until she finally spoke, though it was with Ayanami's voice.

"What I want with you? Well thats nothing new really. I'm mainly curious about you from an angelic point of view. Though strictly speaking, I'm something of an aunt to you. Rather interesting...isn't it?"

"Let Ayanami go right now!"

"Why? Its not like she belongs here anyway. She was part of me to begin with."

"She is her own person, and you don't have that liberty to take it away from her."

"Certainly I do. She was born from me after all. All I'm doing is taking back what was once mine."

Shinji shook his head and mumbled, "But she isn't just you, she's a separate person."

"Does she have a soul," asked Lilith almost sounding bored. Shinji was silently however, as he didn't have an answer to that.

"Exactly," continued Lilith. "The person known as Ayanami Rei never had a soul, only my own soul which I lent her. You can't call that a person. But what is a person except for a bunch of LCL fluid. Tabris told you about the creation correct?"

"...He did," mumbled Shinji.

"Then you already know how humans came to exist, so I can save that blather. But nevertheless, we still need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Oh? You don't want to here about your birth? How you came to be and your mother and Adam's relationship. Or what about your visions? How about everything you've seen and heard including that special girl of yours."

"Leave Asuka out of this," Shinji growled back at Lilith.

"Oh...testy. So you do care for her after all?"

"I said to leave her out of this," shouted Shinji. At his words, his AT-field shout outwards slightly, cracking the ground where Unit 01 stood. But he had to control his anger. If he let his angel half take over, nobody would be able to bring him back.

"Fine then," said Shinji, "you want to talk about my birth, fine, I'm listening."

"Oh? Don't tell me you aren't interested to know about how those two people met. I thought you would care after all this time."

Shinji was silent, because he was unwilling to admit to her that she was right. Since he had learned that he was the child of Adam, he had wondered how his mom and Adam had met, but hadn't asked her the last time they had talked. But hearing it from Lilith was...

"You also wanted to talk to me about my visions...correct?"

"More or less," said Lilith with a slight smirk. "So then am I to understand that you agree to this?"

Shinji thought about it again for a few seconds, but his curiousness won over his wariness and he nodded his head.

"Splendid," laughed Lilith. "Then in that case, why don't we get started. But, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to change into something a little more comfortable, to set the mood if you please."

Shinji was rather taken aback at this statement, not understanding it in the least.

"What? I don't understand-"

But then he froze as he saw the facial features of Lilith change. The face that was Ayanami Rei was disappearing and was being replaced by a new face. The hair lengthened, the nose grew slightly longer, the cheekbones were more pronounced, the breasts even grew ever so slightly larger. But it was the change of the color of the eyes from blood red to ocean blue which made Shinji truly realize who he was starring at, and it was the eeriest thing he had ever witnessed.

Smiling sinisterly, Lilith spoke back with a voice so similar to that of the real person, that Shinji was unsure what was fiction and what was real now.

"Long time no see. Baaaaka Shinji," said the Pseudo Asuka.

* * *

**So my new story called Christmas Together is obviously a Christmas special and is set five years after Third Impact is avoided, and no its not like Sorrowful Winter much more...fluffy I guess, and its been a while since I did a fluff so I figured I'd have fun with it. Also, I'm writing Shinji and Asuka in a setting which I've always wanted to try but haven't gotten around to it until now, but seeing as its Christmas, I figured its the perfect time. Anyways if you wanna check it out, head over to my profile, it should be up soon...**


	32. Death

**Well...uhh..yeah...this chapter is kinda...well you know. And I stayed up all night working on this, so pardon if the grammar is a little bad.**

* * *

"You...you-" mumbled Shinji as realization seemed to dawn on him. "You...every time and it was...you?"

"What amazes me is that you never realized it," smiled the Lilith Asuka. "I even hinted at it many times. Hell, you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me."

"But...even at the beginning-"

"Every time," smiled Lilith. "From the beginning, I was moving you like a piece on a chess board, shaping you into something I could use. And you have proved useful, what with that DNA and all, not to mention dispatching those annoying angels."

"You used me!" shouted Shinji.

"True, but I only ever pointed you in the direction best suited for my goals, with a few minor errors. All in all, it was still your own decisions that shaped everything to this point. And I must say, your interaction with that little girl was loads better than what I had expected. If you had actually tried to repair her memory, well...things may have been a little different."

Shinji clenched Unit 01's fist and swung it at Lilith, but was met with such a strong AT-field, that the hand instantly snapped at the wrist when it hit the AT-field. Shinji screamed in pain as the wound was transferred to himself, breaking his wrist instantly.

"I wouldn't do that," laughed Lilith as she looked down at Shinji. "My AT-field can't be penetrated by you, even if you do possess Adam's DNA."

"How are you able to maintain a complete form. Before...it was just your body."

"Idiot...my body was only half of it. My soul of course resided in Ayanami Rei, though I was able to freely move, which is why I appeared before you when I deemed it necessary. The Geofront and Tokyo-3 were built upon the Black Egg, and everything within its sphere I can influence. I am able to move freely, so long as it is within the boundaries of Tokyo-3."

Shinji snarled back at Lilith, but was suddenly hit from the side by one of the Eva Units, knocking the wind out of him. Quickly turning around, he just managed to dodge as another Lance of Longinus soared towards him. Sidestepping it, he swung around the Eva Units right side and brought the undamaged fist of Unit 01 up, attempting to crash it against the Eva Units jaw. His fist collided against an AT-field though, and judging by the instant shattering of the hand, Lilith had defended the Eva Unit.

Pain seared into Shinji's left hand now as that wrist broke also. Both hands now had bones poking out at strange angles, the skin stretching over the bone.

"Damn it," Shinji swore.

"Now that I have your full attention, lets get things underway...but first, we should get a few things out of the way that I'm sure you're dying to know."

Lilith grinned widely and raised her arms up into the air. One by one, the twelve Eva Units rose into the air and made a circle like a crown above Lilith head and continued spinning around until they each came to a rest all at once.

"The Eva Units," said Lilith, "I should be thankful that the old men did something to further my plans, though unknowingly. By having the DNA of Tabris, they each were able to grow a functioning S2 engine, and generate an AT-field. Instrumentality shall be achieved, but by my own designs, and the Tree of Life shall be thrown down and replaced by something befitting of my elegance. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

Looking down at Shinji, Lilith raised her arms and said, "Everything of course began with myself and Adam, and everything will likely end with us. But humans and angels were thrown into the cycle of hatred between ourselves; you of course heard the gist of this from Tabris, who knew too much for his own good. But never did any of us think that Adam would bring life into this world by another means...meaning you of course."

Lilith smiled widely as Shinji had nothing to do but look up at his impending doom and listen to this.

Continuing, Lilith said, "After the humans were created, Adam did hide the White Moon. Scientists didn't find the White Moon in Antarctica as many speculate though, but of course they did find Adam. Second Impact...ahh how I remember it well. The contact experiment with Adam that was supposed to help birth new life, namely the Evangelions. That of course all went to shit quickly," laughed Lilith. "Adam went on a rampage, destroying much of this worlds ice caps, raising the sea levels so that almost every coastal city is now underwater. But this isn't anything new to you I'm sure...except for this one tiny new bit. The reason why Adam was at Antarctica in the first place, he was looking for your mother."

Shinji blinked, unable to believe what he heard. Second Impact happened because Adam was searching for his mother? It just didn't make sense.

"But of course, this is still long ahead of were I should have started. Lets see...it would have been right before the turn of the century that your mom and Adam met. Now you have to understand, that there are large parts that I still don't know, and only Adam himself, or that hideous shape of your mother," Lilith gestured towards Unit 01, "would know anything about this." What I do know is, is that after a predetermined amount of time, Adam cloaked himself in the shape of a human, and walked among them for many years, watching as the century's came and went. Why he did this after expressing his loathing for your kind, I don't know. Maybe it was to come to an understanding about the beings he had helped create, or maybe he was just bitter, who knows. But eventually, Adam met your mother at a convention. At this point, the name he was using was Robert Klaus, a German scientist who had excellent credentials. Of course, him and your mother hit things off right away, much to the displeasure of Gendo, who was always overshadowed by not only your moms work, but now also by this new guy.

They quickly started seeing each other from what I heard and saw, but there was never any word about marriage between them. Then of course something rather unexpected happened, and Yui, your mother found out that she was pregnant. I would have loved to see Adam's face when he heard the news...oh sorry...Robert.

They kept the news quiet for a few months though until Yui started to show, then they had to come out and announce it, though to a very small amount of people. Dr. Akagi, Dr. Soryu, and of course Gendo knew about it. Whether Fuyutsuki found out about it, I was never sure. Gendo or your mother may have told him.

Now this is where things got complicated, because I've never known whether Adam had planned this or not, or if it just happened and he accepted it for what it was. But I believe that after experiencing thousands of years with humans, he was finally ready to settle down...maybe. The problem of course was the unborn child...you. You would have a portion of Adam himself in you, his DNA. I'm sure the thought of killing your unborn self crossed Adam's mind quite a few times, but he was truly in love with your mother. So he eventually tried to accept the role of a father, was even rather looking forward to it I suspect. But as the production of the Evangelions was reaching a turning point, and word of the backing organization known as Seele was starting to spread, he started voicing his opinions on the project.

It was of course something he had been brought into, because of the relationship him and your mother had, but he always knew that if worst came to worst, he would destroy the Evangelions before they got to the production phase. Thankfully that never happened, but he did try to sway them away from it. Your mother and the other scientists wouldn't hear it though, and were adamant that the Evangelions would spark the next stage in human evolution. He didn't have much of a choice then, and revealed who he truly was, though to your mother first.

She was, of course, immensely shocked and didn't believe him at first. But when he gave her a brief monologue of his long life, and in particular showed her his AT-field, which had only been a theory at the time, she had no choice but to believe him. She went to the others and spoke about it though, which he had wished at a time, but not so soon; Gendo and Dr. Akagi were very verbal about his presence at the facility. They treated him something of a spy, which he may have been. He was always spying on me, trying to learn what I was up to. He once caught a glimpse of my body at the lowest levels here at Nerv, but I never let that happen again.

After the reveal of who he truly was though, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stay with humans for much longer. So he had to make a choice about not only Yui, but their unborn child which they had yet to name. This was probably three months before Second Impact now. Well, after trying to persuade Yui away from the Evangelion project again, he gave up when she refused. He even tried telling her about me, which if she had believed, would have proven detrimental to my plans. The Evangelions were created with the help of the technology I let humans glimpse in the Black Moon, but Unit 01 in particular was born from part of my physical body.

Right before Adam left though, Yui came to him and told him she had an ideal name for their child. Adam of course had never given it serious thought in the first place, and was already starting to forget about Yui at this point when she told him about your name. 'Shinji,' she told him. 'It means believe.' When Adam heard this, I don't think he understood the meaning behind the words, or the significance it may have. There was always that thought it the back of his mind about what you may have become, for certainly, you would have discovered your powers sooner or later.

When Adam finally did leave though, your mother was distraught over the whole thing. She had an unborn child, no father for the child, and to top it off, her fellow researchers were starting to gossip about her. News had traveled fast about her child and people were speculating about who the father might be, and many people pointed to Robert Klaus, because of his sudden disappearance. But somebody surprisingly stepped forward and claimed himself as the father of the child, meaning Gendo of course.

He told Yui about a way to cover up the whole affair, by claiming that he was the father the entire time. At first, she did not want to listen to him, but eventually gave in. Maybe there was some lingering affection towards him from there college days, but I'm not so sure. I think she may have just been looking for a way out.

The only person that seemed very sympathetic towards her though was Dr. Soryu...who was of course expecting a daughter of her own very soon. She told Yui not to worry about the whole thing, and that at the success of the Evangelion project, everyone would forget about this little mishap. She was surprisingly right...

Now during the three months before Second Impact, I'm not so sure what happened to Adam. From what I had gathered, Robert Klaus's existence was wiped from the planet, and only those that knew him as Adam remembered him, so a very select few. I'm guessing though, that he reunited with his children, the angels, and told him that the approaching time was upon them.

Now this next part is just mere guess work, for I'm not sure what he was thinking a few days before Second Impact, but I believe that you were constantly on his mind. 'What would happen to him if he misused his powers? What if Seele got a hold of him? What if Lilith started manipulating him?' He was always wondering these things I believe during the last few days before Second Impact. I think that, the thought of still killing you may even have entered his mind, but I don't think it held sway there very long.

Now we come to the day of Second Impact, and how this event started a chain reaction leading to this moment in time. From what I was able to gather, Adam thought that your mother would be part of the team that was sent to investigate Antarctica, because they thought they found the White Moon of Adam, though what Adam had planned when he finally met your mother again, I don't know. I suspect that even he didn't know. But of course, your mother never was there, as she had gone into labor several hours before, and only Gendo was there briefly, until he heard the news about Yui. As to what actually happened on Antarctica...things are still sketchy.

The team of scientists found Adam encapsulated in ice, and there started to unthaw him. I have heard many different reports of how Second Impact was actually initiated, some of which included the fusing of mine and Adam's DNA, but they woke Adam up, and I believe his hatred for humans erupted then. He was always very in control of his thoughts and emotions, but I think the loss of Yui and you may have sent him over the edge. I wish I could have seen him in his agony," Lilith added bitterly.

"Adam awoke and destroyed everything he could, and his AT-field was said to split the oceans with one wave of his arm. The only person of course to survive his onslaught was Misato Katsuragi, thanks to her father of course. The aftermath of course you know of. Much of the worlds oceans turned red and the marine wildlife died. Odd that for someone who claimed he cared about the planet, Adam was very readily capable of damaging it."

Sighing lightly, Lilith looked up into the sky and mumbled, "Where Adam is right now though, I'm not sure. I expected him to show himself because of you, and everything that I've put you through. But he hasn't shown. Maybe he doesn't care what happens to you anymore."

As Shinji looked up at Lilith though, he noticed something about her features, something that he hadn't seen yet before. She seemed worried.

"But anyways," continued Lilith, "that ends the story of your mother and father I suppose, and how you came to be in this world. What comes after I'm sure you know of better than I would, since it is your childhood. Never seeing your mother, hardly seeing your father. I think that a part of your mother didn't want to see you, because it reminded her of Adam. But the plan that Gendo had devised worked out, and he became your supposed biological father.

Your mother of course volunteered to be the subject during the activation of Unit 01, and thus became its soul. Maybe she knew that you would eventually become the pilot of it. Sometimes I even suspected that Adam's words about me held more sway that I had initially thought, because your mother became increasingly curious about my body buried under the Geofront.

After this, you slowly grew up to what you are today, closely watched by Gendo, and myself of course. Seele also started digging into the relationship between Gendo and Yui, and I believe that Dr. Akagi...that is Ritsuko, told them about her suspicions. I have no idea what she heard from her mother, but I'm sure it made her suspicious. Her mother was of course in love with Gendo as she is...or was? I'm not sure if she is still alive after all, but her mother also hated Yui because Gendo loved her so.

Lilith paused here for a second, wondering if Shinji had any questions, but his jaw was clenched tightly, unwilling to believe half of what he heard, though knowing deep in his heart that it was true.

"I can understand if much of what I said makes no sense to you whatsoever," said Lilith. "But I think its best you understand why you're here."

"...And you still haven't answered that," said Shinji suddenly speaking up. "Why did you choose me?"

"I'm surprised I even have to answer that," laughed Lilith. "Its of course your unique power that was gifted to you by Adam. Each angel of course was given a certain amount of power based on their government of the Tree of Life. Tabris, as being the strongest, was given the strongest power of sight, but it was only with relevance to his death, meaning that he could see everything until he died. Afterwards, he was none the wiser."

"Then what of my visions? You're the one that explained them in part to me, but before you said that I wasn't quite right in my assumption that I was able to govern time, and in particular, a persons time."

"I did, and I still say that, because that is only a part of your power. You hold Adam's DNA within you, something that only you as a human who was born because of him can control. Gendo tried this and discovered that he only received a very weak AT-field.

Adam is a unique being such as myself, and we both have unique powers, some of which we share, but Adam's was always...different. He was able to shape things, and even in his human form people. He had a certain knack for changing the lives of people, and in certain cases, shaping human history itself."

"So what does that mean to me?"

Lilith sighed, clearly annoyed that he was not getting it.

"Alright...you're visions show the possible futures within a person. What they are capable of, what they are not capable of, how they may die, and many other things. But based on what you yourself are doing at the time, the visions change. If you don't interact with someone, they may prosper simply by not knowing you, or, they may die. You can see this of course, and then can chose what you what to do based on that information.

This you already know, but its more so then that. Did you ever think of the other people involved with this person's life that you are affecting? Take for instance the president of some foreign country. Say he has a daughter...you fuck this daughter, and run away with her because she gets pregnant. The families entire reputation is ruined because of this action of you thrusting your dick inside of her. A coup d'état ensues and the entire country is thrust into civil war. Bordering countries are eventually brought into the countries war because of friendly fire and eventually we have started World War III. Now lets take it one step further...say that the larger countries get involved, and it sparks off a nuclear conflict. We have a nuclear holocaust, a never ending winter, and seventy percent of the human dies because of the fallout, all because you couldn't keeping your pants on."

Lilith finished this long monologue and was staring down at Shinji. She was no longer smiling.

"This may be just an example, but things like this can happen, take World War I. An Archduke is assassinated by someone from a foreign country. Tensions mount and eventually the world is thrust into war. You have to think of the whole picture when you make decisions.

Your power, is not so much the control of time, but the control of people. If you haven't noticed yet, you have a certain...air about you which people seem to latch onto. They want to know you, because they know that you're somebody who will help them. Its almost like a charismatic thing. If you ever rose to the power of a dictator, then the world would have to bow down before you. You would see everything, know everything, and people would be afraid of you.

Adam has the ability to see everyone all at once in the world, which is odd because he despised humans. The very thought of being able to see into the minds of the tens of billions of humans on this planet must have tormented him. You yourself have this, to a certain extent. You haven't gained it yet though, and this is in part because you hate people. Adam loved the angels and hated the humans, but they were still partly created by him, so he begrudgingly accepted that they were part of his creation.

That is the other side of the coin, and I'm sure you may have realized it yourself. Love is a strong governing factor in these visions, which is why you are more attuned to that girl. People you have met, care for, or hold strong affection for are always easier to see then people you see on the street. You have glimpsed brief flashes of things, but you never took much notice to it. But imagine standing on a side walk with twenty other people, and being assaulted by visions from everyone of them. It could be as simple as what they'll have for dinner, or an item they've been thinking of buying. But you also know that there are other things, such as murder, stealing, and rape. You may encounter this during one of these experiences, and you can decide whether to confront this person, kill him or not. But it will always affect a third party."

Lilith was silent now as she waited for Shinji's reaction to the whole thing.

"...So its...control?"

"Mainly," said Lilith. "People with a strong connection to you may influence you in return, but you normally stay who you are, while changing the people around you. In fact, that girl is probably the only person that could influence you to do anything, whether it benefits you or not."

Shinji was silent for a minute until he said, "You still haven't said what you needed me for."

"You still don't know?" mumbled Lilith. "Well...to put it bluntly, you will be the spark of my version of Instrumentality. As an imperfect being, born from that of a human and the unique being known as Adam, you will be a mold so that I can reshape the world as I see fit."

"So I'm just a tool?" said Shinji bitterly.

"If you want to look at it that way...sure. You're a to-"

Shinji suddenly lashed out upwards towards Lilith with Unit 01's AT-field, the wrists finally regenerating. Lilith blocked however while barely bating an eyelash. But as she looked back down at the place where Shinji had been, she saw that he was not there.

"So its a game of cat and mouse?" smiled Lilith.

Shinji meanwhile, was hiding behind a broken building and catching her breath. What he had done was extremely risky, but he had been waiting for the right moment. He didn't care what Lilith told him, as long as it kept her busy while he waited for his arm to repair itself, but it had taken longer than he had expected. But thats not to say he didn't gather any useful information from her. What she said about his mother and Adam...well, he didn't want to think about it, but a lot of what she said made sense. And his visions...well that was all a convoluted mess now. He didn't know what was true and what wasn't anymore.

"But I still need to find a way to stop her," mumbled Shinji as he looked down at his feet. Trouble was, he didn't know how he was supposed to do that. Could he let himself be captured and then trick Lilith when she tried to institute Instrumentality? Shinji didn't think that would work...Lilith wasn't stupid.

"What the fuck am I suppose to do," mumbled Shinji.

But before he had a chance to think, he dove forwards as a Lance of Longinus pierced through the building he had been crouching behind. Looking around the corner of the building, was of course one of the Eva Units.

'Not these again,' thought Shinji.

Diving backwards, Shinji dodged the Eva Unit as it thrust the lance towards him. Slicing Unit 01's arm upwards, Shinji cut into the soft tissue of the Eva Units chest cavity. It immediately broke open, spilling blood and organs on the ground.

Pausing briefly, Shinji then felt a strong AT-field to his right, and jumped backwards just as Lilith's arm came crash down at the spot he had been seconds before. The ground split where her arm had been, but next second, Shinji saw her other arm came swinging down and knew what was coming. An AT-field erupted forth from Lilith, splitting the ground and making it look as though a knife had cut it.

Skidding backwards, Shinji felt movement behind him and turned around to see three Eva Units waiting for him, each holding a Lance of Longinus. Forcing Unit 01 to jump high into the air, Shinji soared over the Eva Units and landed directly behind them. Swinging Unit 01's legs out, he caught them off guard and kick there feet out from under them. Take control of this situation, Unit 01 brought both its arms up, and brought its fists crashing down into the skulls of two of the Eva Units. The skulls yielded almost instantly, creating a crater in the middle of the head. Turning towards the other Unit, which had just started getting up, Unit 01 brought its arm down horizontally, creating a diagonal slash across its chest. As the Eva Unit toppled backwards though, Shinji saw Lilith rushing towards him, and with a quick flash of orange new that she had sent her AT-field after him.

Diving out of the way, Unit 01 rolled as Lilith went rushing past him. For such a large body, she was quite quick. Standing up, Shinji looked over at Lilith, and saw that she was walking towards him. Her face still adorned with Asuka's features.

"There isn't any use running away Shinji," whispered Lilith. "It'll only be a matter of time before I catch you...and don't even try thinking of a plan, because it wont work."

Shinji snarled back at her, and projecting Unit 01's AT-field towards her, which she calmly brushed aside with a wave of her hand.

"When are you going to learn that the Evangelions can possibly hope to match us. They were created because of me after."

Throwing her own AT-field at him, Shinji skillfully dodged, but was suddenly met with sharp pain in his right leg. Looking down at it, he saw a large gash in that was steadily pouring out blood. Looking at Unit 01's own leg, he saw what happened. The Eva Unit that he had slashed earlier with his AT-field had grabbed a nearby lance and plunged it into Unit 01's leg. Though it seemed rather shallow, it still wouldn't heal..

Now with a permanently wounded arm, and leg, Shinji was starting to become weary from the battle, and Lilith was keen to capitalize on this.

"Why are you being so stubborn about this Shinji? You of all people should realize how wonderful Instrumentality will be. Nobody to shun you, nobody to hurt you, everything will be remade, and you have the power to decide how that will happen, with a few pointers from me," grinned Lilith.

Shinji grimaced back at her, unable to speak of the pain that was searing through his right leg.

"Still being stubborn I suppose, guess that redhead rubbed off on you a little. Well we can fix that."

Next second, several Eva Units appeared from the sides of Unit 01 and rushed at him. As Shinji saw this, he tried standing up, but the pain in his leg was hurting him too much. All at once, the Eva Units jump on top of him, bitting into the neck of Unit 01. Blood instantly poured forth from several spots in Shinji's own neck. It appeared that his carotid artery had been bitten. Inside Unit 01, the LCL fluid turned such a dark red that painted looked as though it had been spilled in there. Shinji was floating in a sea of his own blood. His vision was beginning to grow hazy now, but he could still hear Lilith's voice.

"I think that was a bit much maybe, don't want you to die after all. Well, I got time I guess. Maybe I'll go play with that redhead a bit."

At Lilith's words, the pressure in Unit 01 changed. The density of the LCL fluid increased, mixing with Shinji's blood that held trace amounts of Adam's DNA. Though the blood continued pouring forth from Shinji's next, the LCL fluid kept him awake and alive.

The bindings on Unit 01 suddenly broke off and fell to the ground, revealing the grey tissue underneath. Unit 01 then let out a roar, that almost drove the Eva Units to there knees. Even Lilith was rather surprised at this sudden chance.

'Did his angel side finally take over? Or is it simply because of that girl?'

Unit 01 then kicked off against the ground, cracking it in place. Rushing towards Lilith, Unit 01 brought its fist back and thrust it against Lilith. Smirking slightly Lilith project her AT-field by throwing her palm outwards, but next second, she her grin faltered. The sheer hate and loathing radiating from Shinji was stifling that Lilith momentarily forgot that Shinji was merely a human. She hadn't felt hate this strong since she had last met Adam.

"Bastard," swore Lilith as she pushed Unit 01 backwards. But as Shinji went reeling backwards, he charged at Lilith again, all sign of intelligence gone. He was nothing more than an animal now.

"Does that girl really mean so much to you that you would bring yourself down to this level?" shouted Lilith as she fended off Unit 01.

Shinji couldn't hear anything though, only the pounding of blood in his ear drums as he repeatedly repeated to Unit 01...kill. A rage seemed to have overcome himself, such that he had never felt before. Not even when he was pounding that rapist into a bloody pulp had he felt so much anger. Lilith was the enemy of all things living, and she deserved to be destroyed. Her soul ripped from the Black Moon which it resided in. Her body torn asunder by Unit 01's teeth and left to rot out in the scorching sun.

'Everything is her fault,' thought Shinji hatefully.

Suddenly stopping his continued onslaught, Shinji dove backwards and stood in front of Lilith for a minute before he extended Unit 01's left arm palm outwards.

"How many times do I have to tell you, that an Evangelions AT-field will not work on me."

"Then how about an AT-field akin to your own," said Shinji in voice completely different from his own.

Lilith blinked at these words, thinking that she had misheard, but she had not. Shinji's own AT-field erupted suddenly, splitting the earth just as Lilith's had done. Moving faster than the speed of sound, Lilith quickly protected herself by creating a sphere around herself by using her AT-field. Shinji's crashed into hers, destroying much of the ground around Lilith. Dust and debris flew in all direction, as the explosion happened, shaking the earth as it happened. Earthquakes and tsunamis exploded across all of the earth as the two clashed against each other.

"Adam...you bastard," swore Lilith. "Even at the end of everything, you still try to interfere."

Shinji was panting heavily however, and even with the help from Adam's DNA, he was still barely able to hold his own against Lilith.

"What? Is that all you really got?" Came a voice inside Unit 01.

Shinji thought that he was going insane, but then remembered the voice.

"Are you going to help me or not?" asked Shinji, "though I'm sure what you could actually do to help."

The voice was silent for a minute until it muttered, "Lilith..." But from the sound of the voice, it knew about Lilith, and Shinji picked up on this.

"You know about Lilith?"

"We've met," murmured the voice.

"So then do you have any ideas on how we're supposed to beat her?"

"We? Didn't know it had come to that, though I don't know what I can do admittedly. My influence doesn't help you nearly as much as it used to."

"Why?"

"Because the awakening of your angel self gave you everything that I was already capable of giving you."

Shinji was silent as he heard this statement, unwilling to believe what this possibly meant.

"You'll do fine I'm sure, and if not...well, that girl...Asuka was her name? I'm sure she'll help you out."

Shinji opened his mouth to say something but realized it didn't matter either way...and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer anyway.

"So I'm on my own then?"

"You're never truly on your own Shinji...you have someone that cares for you, and that you care for in return. That is something Lilith doesn't have, nor will ever have."

"I guess a thanks is in order," said Shinji. "You helped me when I didn't know what to do..."

"Don't be stupid, it was always possible to begin with. It just took time was all."

"Then I guess I wont be talking to you again..."

"Nope, not very likely."

"Can you answer one thing though?"

"...I'll try..."

"Are you real? Or has this all been in my mind...your voice?"

"No clue. It may be your mind, this Eva Unit, or even your mothers soul that is speaking to you. Does it really matter?"

"No, not really..."

"Good...well I'm leaving. And Lilith..." but the voice trailed off, unsure what its supposed to say about that particular matter.

"Bye," mumbled Shinji, into the empty entry plug of Unit 01. Almost instantly, his mind went back to normal, no longer the hatred he had for Lilith moments before lingered. But something else was there, and he yearned for it.

"Asuka...where are you?" he mumbled.

He knew he had told her to run away, but he still had a nagging suspicion in the back of his head that she hadn't quite listened to him. Most likely, she was far enough away to not get caught in the battle, but still able to see him.

As he brought up the intercom though, he didn't see a signal be broadcasted from Unit 02. Everything was blank.

'Then there's always,' thought Shinji. If what he had done earlier to get her attention had worked before, then what about trying it on a much larger scale.

'Its worth a try,' he thought. But he had other things to worry about at the moment, as Lilith came rushing towards him. Backing off, Shinji winced as pain seared through his right leg. No longer under the stimulating effects of Adam's DNA, the pain was back, and the weariness. If he didn't find Asuka soon, he'd be in trouble.

'Odd how I end up relying on her in the end,' smiled Shinji.

Regaining his balance, he rushed in the opposite direction of Lilith where there were plenty of buildings to take cover behind. If he could just buy a minutes time, then he would be able to find Asuka.

Zigzagging through residential districts, Shinji suddenly remembered an Nerv emergency access point used when the Eva Units needed be moved. He just hoped that it hadn't been destroyed.

Finding it quicker than he had expected, it was still intact with a few minor pieces of rubble covering. Moving it easily with Unit 01, Shinji quickly slashed the hatch open with Unit 01's AT-field, and dove down into it, gripping onto the metal side so that he wouldn't slide down the long elevator shaft.

Gathering his thoughts, he thought of Asuka and only Asuka, projecting his feelings towards her in his thoughts and sent his AT-field out in the open sky. Lilith instantly picked him up though, and knowing what he was trying to do, smiled slightly and thought-

'This should prove interesting.'

For the moment, she would wait.

* * *

As Shinji had predicted Asuka hadn't listened to him, but done exactly what he figured. She was on a bluff overlooking Tokyo-3 and was able to see the entirety of the battle. When Shinji had been stabbed by the second Lance of Longinus, she had been particularly fearful, and almost rushed down to the battlefield to help him. But she knew that she would only be interfering. Something had happened to him afterwards. For a while, it seemed that he was on par with Lilith, and she had wondered if his angel self had finally taken over, as horrible as that sounded to her. Now though, Shinji was nowhere to be seen. He had dashed into the destroyed city of Tokyo-3 and she hadn't been able to see him. She was even starting to contemplate of moving positions...or even going down there to search for him.

"Shinji...where did you go?" she mumbled into the empty entry plug of Unit 02. It was lonely by herself, even though she knew her mom was right beside her. But she still wished that he was there also.

Though just as she was thinking of moving from her spot, she felt something very strong rush past her, almost as though it was a gust of wind. But it didn't come from outside, it had happened to herself, it was like a feeling. But then it returned, and it wasn't a gust of wind this time...it was warm.

"Asuka!"

Asuka was suddenly assaulted by strong feeling that was certainly not her own, because it pertained to herself, but she also recognized the feeling for what it was. And she also recognized the voice...but she couldn't believe it.

"Sh-Shinji?" she spoked out loud inside the entry plug. She wasn't sure if it was just her imagination or not, be she was sure she had heard his voice.

"Yeah, its me Asuka," replied Shinji.

"Shinji," stammered Asuka, not caring how she was able to communicate only glad that she could hear his voice. "Where are you right now? Whats happening? Where did you go?"

"Then I'm right in assuming you've been watching the entire time?"

"...I-"

"Don't worry about it, it makes it easier. Asuka, I don't have much time, but I need your help...I think."

"You think?" asked Asuka accusingly.

"Asuka...I don't have time to say everything I would like to, but know this that I feel better with you by my side. So-"

"It took you this long to say that huh?" said Asuka with a sigh. "Idiot!"

Shinji smiled slightly, which was conveyed to Asuka, in whose turn smiled back also.

"Is there anything I can do?" asked Asuka.

"Just you being by my side is enough," said Shinji, feeling oddly serene. "Do you remember where the old access point is?"

"Yeah..."

"Meet me there, I'll try to shake of Lilith in the mean time. Avoid the Eva Units...I don't want you fighting them."

Asuka knew enough not retort back. Shinji was simply looking out for her, which she appreciated.

"Then I'll see you there," mumbled Asuka. "And Shinji...be careful."

"I know...you too...and I'll be waiting."

"Yeah," mumbled Asuka as the warmth suddenly left her, along with Shinji's voice. Making Unit 02 stand up from its kneeling position, she mumbled softly, "Lets go...Mama."

Unit 02's eyes lit up in response to Asuka's request, and started walking forward towards the battle below.

* * *

As Asuka's warmth also left Shinji, he looked up into the sky of Tokyo-3 from where he was hidden. He didn't know what Asuka's presence would bring, but he knew that just by her being near him, he would be better.

Swinging out into the open sunlight, he was met by a grizzly scene. Lilith was standing just outside of the shaft he was hiding in and waiting for him to appear.

"I see you," laughed Lilith as she swung her arm down, generating her AT-field and slicing into the metal shaft. Shinji dodged out of the way and projected both his AT-field and Unit 01's. Lilith easily parried both of them, now that Shinji's AT-field was no longer backed by Adam's power.

"Not a chance Shinji," laughed Lilith. "You don't have any hope of defeating me, so just accept it!"

Shinji grimaced at Lilith as he started running the opposite way, jumping over buildings and power lines as he went. But as Lilith followed she ripped apart the landscape of Tokyo-3.

After a time though, Shinji thought that he had ran far enough and turned around to face Lilith. Swinging down Unit 01's right arm, he projected its AT-field and threw it at Lilith who blocked it as though it was a fly. Next second though, Shinji's own AT-field came rushing at Lilith, being masked by the first.

"Tch," mumbled Lilith as she blocked Shinji's own AT-field. But next second, dust was scattered in every direction as Shinji had attacked the ground and kicked up mountains of dust, created a smoke screen. When the dust finally cleared though, Unit 01 and Shinji were nowhere to be seen.

"A diversion?" wondered Lilith, "and he even seems to hiding his AT-field. I have to give him props on that. So I guess that he's meeting up with that girl."

Smiling slightly, she changed her face back to that of Ayanami Rei, and started searching for Shinji and Asuka.

Meanwhile, Shinji was tearing through the city towards the point where he and Asuka had decided to meet at. He had to be careful that he wouldn't run into the Eva Units though, so it was a little slow going.

Eventually though, he reached the point where they had agreed upon, and waited. But as time started to pass, he was starting to get worried. Where exactly was Asuka? He thought about calling out to her again with his AT-field, but didn't want to risk it. If Lilith felt it...

"Asuka...where are you?" he mumbled.

"Right behind you," said Asuka as she jumped down into the abandoned access point, and it was abandoned for a reason. Many of the walls had rust on them and the elevator looked ready to fall off its hinges, but it was a good place to hide.

"You made it," sighed Shinji with relief.

"Sorry...I got held up because of the Eva Units."

"But you didn't fight them?"

"No, they were just looking around for us."

"Good," said Shinji.

For a moment they looked at each other, just taking each other in, when Asuka eventually broke the silence.

"Do you actually have any idea how you're supposed to destroy Lilith?"

"No, and I was hoping you would. You came up with the idea to destroyed the Eva Units after all."

"Which didn't work," she reminded him.

"It would have," said Shinji, "it should have. But Lilith..."

"...What about Rei?" asked Asuka, "Is she still trapped inside Lilith."

"Yeah...she is," mumbled Shinji, realizing just how hopeless the situation was.

"...Shinji...what about earlier?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seemed to be able to fight Lilith earlier. What happened?"

Shinji was silent for a moment before he said, "I don't like it...the feeling I get when I decide to use my angel powers. I dislike Lilith greatly, for everything that she's done...but that feeling I felt before. That wasn't me."

"But if its able to defeat Lilith-"

"I can't control it though," hissed Shinji. "Why do you think I never wanted you to get near me? If I ever went out of control, and something happened to you-"

Shinji let his sentence drop, knowing that even now, it was a touchy subject within his mind. But Asuka continued.

"Shinji...you said that you want me near you...what if I'm able to pull you out of that state if worse comes to worse?"

Shinji thought of this for a second, and had to admit it had merit. After all, it was solely because of Asuka that he was able to maintain his sanity during his confinement at Nerv.

"Maybe," Shinji finally said. "But its too risky, and if something-"

"Nothing is going to happen to me!" replied Asuka roughly. "You wouldn't let that happen to me..."

Shinji didn't want to tell her he wasn't sure about that. If he really went out of control...

"I don't know if I can still do it though. Before...Lilith had said something about...you...and that sorta set it off. But during the fight, it was like I was being controlled by another person."

Shinji didn't mention his conversation with the voice.

"But you can still try," said Asuka. "And I'll be here with you. So-"

"Alright," said Shinji cutting her off. "But at any sign of me...acting differently than I normally would...stop me."

"And how do I go about doing that?" asked Asuka politely.

Wild half formed thoughts swarmed through Shinji's mind then, but he threw them away.

"You're voice," he said, "you're voice will do it. If I hear your voice...I should be fine."

"...Okay Shinji," mumbled Asuka as she stepped back. Inside the entry plug of Unit 02 however, she heard the voice of her mother speaking to her.

"Is this wise Asuka?"

"I trust Shinji," said Asuka simply. "And I know...he would never do anything to harm me."

Asuka's mom was silent, unsure of what she should say to her daughter.

"Asuka..."

"Hmmm?"

"Just be careful."

"I will Mama...please look after me for a while longer."

"I will," she replied as her voice faded back inside Unit 02.

Sighing slightly, Asuka asked, "Are you ready Shinji?"

"Yeah," he replied, feeling somewhat nervous.

Breathing deeply, Shinji jumped into the sunlight out of the access point and immediately projected his AT-field in a wide dome, telling Lilith where he was. Beside him, Unit 02 suddenly sprang through the opening and stood just behind him.

As Lilith saw the two, she instantly narrowed her eyes. This would be fun...

This was...difficult for Shinji, as he had never willingly tried to slip into his angel self. It had always been anger that had set him off, but with Asuka by his side, he hoped he wouldn't let his anger overcome himself. The anger that he bore was because of the angel half in him, Adam's DNA, but even stronger than that was the anger held for Lilith, and tapped that enormous power. But he also kept the image of Asuka in his mind. Her laying on the couch back when they were living together, eating potato chips and watching T.V. Eating breakfast together, walking to school together, little things like this he kept in his mind as protection against his anger.

Slowly, his eyes started to turn a darker red. The LCL fluid in Unit 01 intensified and came to a boil, and Unit 01 responded by roaring louder then ever. Eventually, blood finally started to seep from his eyes, and that same feeling of being controlled by someone else seemed to envelope him. But he was in control this time, and was able to differentiate between friend and foe.

"Shinji...do you feel okay?" asked Asuka.

Shinji let out a low sigh, and nodded, not wanting to say anything to her. When he was like this, he was more accustomed to feeling things through his AT-field. In particular, Asuka who he was so attuned to already, was thrown into clearer light. He felt her AT-field, ever shift of her body, every thought that crossed her mind, every memory that she had had. He even caught glimpses of the fragments, which had been there all along. If only he hadn't been so stupid, then things might have-

"Shinji!" shouted Asuka suddenly.

Shinji looked up and saw that Lilith was rushing towards them, her arm outstretched. Removing the dome that he had projected around them, Shinji charged at Lilith at the same breakneck speed. Letting out a loud roar, Unit 01 seemed to act without Shinji having to tell it to. Thrusting its arm forward, it projected its AT-field as a large wall to block Lilith from approaching. Lilith's own AT-field however crashed against Unit 01's, shattering it instantly. But as Lilith neared him, Shinji projected his own AT-field as a wall this time. Lilith saw this, and quickly generated her own AT-field, intending on crashing hers against his. As Shinji saw this however, he shouted within his mind at Asuka-

"Get behind me!"

Not needing to ask why, Unit 02 took shelter behind Unit 01 just as the two AT-field collided.

The impact was like that of an N2 bomb going off. From the center of the impact and upwards, explosions happened which threatened to rip apart the very fabric of the atmosphere. The earth shook violently as a seismic shockwave was sent out from the epicenter of the two beings. Earthquakes were felt as far away as England. The clouds that had been high in the sky were suddenly blown away as the air itself seemed to crackle with energy from the two AT-fields.

They were dead even, something that Lilith hadn't counted on, but as she smiled widely, Shinji saw why. Several Eva Units were rushing at him on either side, each with a Lance of Longinus in each hand. They planned on impaling him.

Thinking fast though, Shinji quickly generated Unit 01's AT-field and split it, sending it to either side of him where both of the Eva Units were cut off at their knees. Seeing this, Lilith frowned slightly, but continued on applying pressure to Shinji's AT-field. If she got it to break, it would be over. But Shinji next sent Unit 01's AT-field at Lilith, making her also split her AT-field and fend off the other side as Shinji continued sending Unit 01's AT-field at her. Now with Lilith on the defense, Shinji started applying more pressure to his own AT-field, trying to make Lilith's break.

"Stubborn human," snarled Lilith as she was starting to be pushed back. "Don't you know when to give up?"

"Thats something that's unique about us," laughed Shinji in return. "We always hold onto hope."

"Hope? Don't make me laugh," said Lilith. "Hope always fails!"

Just as soon as Shinji thought he was actually winning, he felt his AT-field start to crack. Lilith had steadily been applying pressure to one specific spot, whittling it down slowly. Knowing that he didn't have much time till it broke, Shinji shouted to Asuka-

"Get back, its gonna break soon!"

"Shinji I won't-"

"Get back!" shouted Shinji. Quickly moving Unit 01's AT-field, he threw it against Unit 02, pushing it backwards. But that was all Lilith needed to break through. Without Unit 01 preoccupying her, she put all her strength into that one spot in Shinji's AT-field, instantly shattering it and the whole thing along with it.

"Damn it!" thought Shinji as he dove backwards, but he knew he wouldn't make it in time. Holding up Unit 01's arms, he felt Lilith's AT-field sink directly into the bindings that covered Unit 01's hands slicing clear through the hands.

Shinji screamed in agony as the pain was transferred to him. Looking down at this hands, he saw nothing there but a bloody stump. Bone stuck out of the arm as blood continued flowing out. As Shinji continued looking down at this hands though, he slowly felt the pain disappearing. The wound was already sealing itself up, and what looked like a new hand was already starting to grow.

"Damn it Adam!" swore Lilith as she threw her AT-field at Unit 01 again.

Dodging around it, Shinji generated his own AT-field and finally managed to cut into the tissue of Lilith, slicing into one of her arms. But instead of blood flowing out, LCL fluid trickled out of the wound.

"Fuck You!" shouted Lilith as she swiped at Unit 01 again. But Shinji continued his attack. Generating his AT-field in quick bursts, Shinji managed to damage Lilith in many different spots until the ground was starting to be pooled in LCL fluid.

Stepping backwards, as tough to examine his work, Shinji smiled at what he saw. Lilith was obviously weakening.

'I can do this,' he thought.

Running forward again, Shinji generated both his and Unit 01's AT-field. Lilith generated her own, but the damage that Shinji had already inflicted upon her was starting to show. The wounds continued opening as she continued moving her body. The face of Ayanami had even disappeared and been replaced by white nothingness.

"You won't defeat me," mumbled Lilith. "You're a puny human, while I am the creator of you."

"But you're forgetting Lilith," said Shinji, "Adam created me also."

Projecting his AT-field again, Shinji sliced into the soft tissue of Lilith's neck, creating a large wound which LCL fluid poured out of.

"You fucking bitch!" screamed Lilith as the wound opened wider and her head slid of the shoulders.

The body of Lilith collapsed to the ground with a loud thud, LCL fluid still pouring out of the many wounds on the body. Shinji stood triumphant above the body in Unit 01, looking down at the dead body of Lilith. He had done it, he had defeated Lilith.

But where was Ayanami? Shinji didn't feel her AT-field...

...Something was wrong...

From behind him, he heard movement and spun around, but it was only Asuka.

"You did it Shinji," gasped Asuka. "You actually defeated Lilith."

"Don't act so surprised," sighed Shinji as he started returning to his former self.

Asuka smiled at him, wishing that she could hug him. But two Evangelions hugging would look kinda awkward, and feel awkward for Shinji especially.

"What about Rei though?" asked Asuka, suddenly realizing that she didn't see Ayanami anywhere.

"I'm not sure," said Shinji as he looked back down at the body of Lilith. He couldn't of killed her...but he didn't feel anything from the dead body.

...Something was wrong...

"Hey Asuka?" said Shinji as he turned back towards Unit 02.

Red...

Blood Red

Shinji froze...unable to speak, his entire world crashing down upon him. Asuka...Asuka...

Behind Unit 02, stood one of the Eva Units, except that it had the face of Lilith. In its hand was a Lance of Longinus, and it was currently pierced through-

"ASUKA!" shouted Shinji as blood spewed out out of the open wound in Unit 02's chest cavity.

Wrenching the lance out of Unit 02, Lilith flicked it lightly to shake off some of the blood. The Eva Units body was slowly forming into Lilith's body. But Shinji only had eyes for Unit 02. Throwing his AT-field forward, he wrapped the entry plug in his AT-field and projected himself into it. He could see everything, feel everything, and smell everything associated with the inside of the entry plug.

Asuka was laying there, blood dribbling out of her mouth, her hands pressed over her stomach as blood continued pouring out. Shinji's presence filled the entry plug, taking in everything that he saw. No...it was impossible...improbable that something like this could. Not after they...

"Asuka! Asuka!" shouted Shinji.

Grabbing her hand, Shinji held it against his face.

There was warmth...slightly.

And slowly, Asuka opened her eyes.

"Ahh...Shin-" but before she could finish her words, she coughed and more bloody trickled out of her mouth.

"Don't say anything!" shouted Shinji. "Give me a minute and I'll-"

"Shin...ji...don't bother. You can't do anything...to help."

"Don't say that Asuka. DON'T SAY THAT!"

"You don't have to shout...idiot..."

Even now...she still...

Shinji started crying, crying softly as he held onto Asuka's hand. Everything, everything was ending. The world, the universe, everything was fucking ending, and Shinji didn't care. Asuka was...Asuka was the only...

You can't die...not yet. I haven't even said-

Shinji suddenly felt as though a hook had been yanked behind his navel and felt himself being pulled backwards out of the entry plug of Unit 02. The last thing he saw was Asuka's face before everything blackened.

He opened his eyes inside the entry plug of Unit 01 and knew instantly what had happened.

"So sorry I had to end that suddenly, but I can't stand tearful goodbyes," smiled Lilith as she yanked the Lance of Longinus out of the back of Unit 02's head.

Asuka had been killed instantly...

Shinji sat inside Unit 01...

Asuka was dead...Asuka was dead.

Its a joke...it has to be...right? Please tell me its a joke?

I saw her...

It wasn't real.

Asuka is dead...Asuka is dead

Don't say it!

Asuka died...Asuka died

asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka asuka

"ASUKAAAAAAAAAA!"

Wings of light exploded out the back of Unit 01, wings that were colored like a blood red setting sun. Inside the entry plug of Unit 01...

Ikari Shinji sat alone ad-mist the darkness that was enveloping the sky.

Unit 01 slowly started rising into the air, its eyes blood red. All the binders sealing its true power broke and fell off.

Below, Lilith smiled as Unit 01 continued rising into the sky. Around her, the Eva Units sprouted their wings and rose up into the sky to follow Unit 01, a Lance of Longinus clutched in each of their hands.

As they continued rising further into the air, Lilith raised her arms up into the air and split the sky apart, so that the final piece could return to its proper place.

Laughing slightly as she waited for the true Lance of Longinus, she said-

"So begins Third Impact..."

* * *

**I can honestly say that I shed a few tears while writing this last part.**


	33. Falsity

**Merry Christmas everyone! Here's my present to all my great readers!**

* * *

The clouds darkened high above the city of Tokyo-3, and around the world, similar things were happening; the entire world was being plunged into darkness. However Gendo Ikari did not seem to care about these things, even as he sat deep underground within the confines of Terminal Dogma.

Lilith had fooled him, and fooled everyone, but specifically him. He should have known himself incapable of being rejoined with Yui, for even if he was, what would he have done? And so, he laid himself to rest in Terminal Dogma, waiting for the last breathes of his life to leave him. It was even rather peaceful he thought as he lay there, for whatever happened afterwards, he knew he would never be apart of. Even if the world was recreated, and Third Impact achieved, his spirit would not reach it.

"I really screwed up...Yui..." he mumbled as he looked up at the black ceiling. But he would never hear Yui's voice again.

"I should rather say so commander," came a voice from behind him. Recognizing the voice almost instantly, he mumbled, "So you've come to see me die, have you Dr. Akagi?"

"The least you could do is call me Ritsuko," she mumbled as she stepped out of the darkness and into light, looking at down at the dying commander of Nerv. "And it seems that I'm too late...Lilith has all ready been reborn."

"It wouldn't have mattered, even with the assistance I gave her," said Gendo. "She would have found a way to Shinji."

As Ritsuko walked over to him, she fished a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it. Puffing on it briefly, she sighed and said, "You don't smoke, do you commander?"

"No, I never took it up."

"Then you should take this time to enjoy one."

Pulling another out of her pocket, her last one, she lit it before bending down and inserting it into the commanders mouth. Letting him inhale for a moment, she then removed it out of his mouth, and let him exhale deeply.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Gendo.

"Because there isn't anything we can do," said Ritsuko. "Everything is all up to Shinji now. What he decides, what he doesn't decide...everything will be as he wishes and desires. And Lilith will use that to her advantage. Shinji may very well be the creator of a new world, but Lilith will have a hand in it nonetheless."

"So you think you'll have a place in it?"

"I don't know," said Ritsuko. "But it won't matter whether I have a place or not, because I don't necessarily have to be there. As long as Shinji wishes it, he can create someone that looks like me, sounds like me, and has the same personality as me. But it still won't be me. So then what about you?"

Gendo was silent for a minute until he said, "My existence stops here, Shinji will be sure of that."

"Probably," said Ritsuko as she threw her cigarette to the ground and crushed it with her heel. "But Shinji can't deny that you took care of him when the likely thing would have been to put him in an orphanage."

"I took him in for my own agenda," said Gendo.

"Maybe, but deep down you cared for him, because of the piece of him that meant Yui once existed."

Gendo was silent, neither refuting her, nor agreeing with her.

"But it doesn't matter...does it?" said Ritsuko. "Everything will be judged by Shinji, and my existence may disappear as well, since I angered him more than once on certain occasions."

Gendo was still silent, as though reflecting on his past actions, until he finally said-

"Shinji holds the DNA of Adam within him, meaning that he is already a being surpassing the knowledge of humans and angels alike, because he is a hybrid. In essence, he is almost like the gods of old that used to be worshipped in ancient times."

"And you think he'll use his power to change the world? Will Lilith even allow him to change it to how he desires?"

"Lilith doesn't care what Shinji does, as long as she gets what she wants."

"And what is that?"

"...I don't even think Lilith knows..." mumbled Gendo, almost quietly to himself.

Ritsuko looked down at him, as she heard those mumbled words. Lilith and Adam, and Shinji and Asuka...

"If that boy cares enough about that girl, then Lilith shouldn't be able to fully control him. As for Adam, he is simply a spectator, though I believe he wants whatever Shinji wants."

"And what happens if she dies?" asked Ritsuko. "What happens to Shinji then?"

Gendo was silent for a long while, until he finally mumbled, "If that girl dies...he won't care about reality. Reality will be whatever he desires it to be."

Ritsuko stared down at Gendo, who was slowly starting to fade away, and would likely be dead before Third Impact was even over. If in a situation like that, where reality is whatever Shinji desires it to be...then what would it be like?

"It would be pleasant for him," said Gendo, as though he was reading her thoughts. "But he wouldn't care about anybody else. We would all be floating in the sea of LCL fluid, while he escapes into his false reality."

Ritsuko frowned and looked up at the ceiling of Terminal Dogma. If that were to come true, and reality would become dysfunctional...what would happen to the world as it stands?

"Only Lilith would know that question," said Gendo as his life continued to slip away.

* * *

Lilith watched as Unit 01 rose high into the air along with the Mass Produced Eva Units. The wings of light shown clearly against the blackened sky as Unit 01 continued rising into the air.

'So it comes to this?' thought Lilith.

Raising her arms up, she clove the sky in to, splitting the clouds and the heavens as she called for the Lance of Longinus, and deep with the confines of space, it answered her. Like the needle of a compass, it pointed directly towards her, being called back to earth where it once dwelt. It ripped apart the fabric of space as it plummeted towards earth, shaking the sky and creating a maelstrom of thunder and lightning.

As it charged down through the sky and into the ruins of Tokyo-3, Lilith caught it with her hand and held it next to her like a flag pole. Smiling slightly, she slowly rose above the destruction of Tokyo-3, the Lance of Longinus in her hand. Beneath, the bloodied mess of Unit 02 remained.

The Eva Units above her formed a circle around Unit 01, each of them holding a Lance of Longinus in its hand. Lilith continued rising into the air until she became level with Unit 01, herself inside the circle of Eva Units.

"Can you hear me Shinji?" asked Lilith. She had changed her features so that she looked like Asuka again, tormenting him only further. But no word came from Unit 01, only silence. Lilith didn't care though, and continued on as if she hadn't asked.

Motioning to the other Eva Units, she directed them to attack Unit 01. Four of the Eva Units rushed Unit 01, the Lances of Longinus clutched tightly in their hands. They pierced the lances into both of Unit 01's hands and feet. Blood poured forth from Unit 01, and inside the entry plug of Unit 01, the same was likely happening. But he still did not speak.

The other Eva Units pierced their lances into points around the wings of light that surrounded Unit 01, sealing Unit 01's AT-field.

Smiling at the Eva Units, Lilith hovered over to Unit 01 until she was directly in front of it. Taking the true Lance of Longinus in her grasp, she plunged it directly through the core of Unit 01.

Unit 01 shuddered violently then, and Shinji finally answered with a resounding scream. A large quantity of blood was pouring out directly where his heart was supposed to be...but he wasn't dying. Everything was slipping away though it felt. Everything was growing foggy...but he could still hear Lilith's voice.

"Third Impact...ahh how I've waited for this day. Everything shall be as it should have, and nothing will be as it has. All with the help of you Shinji."

The Eva Units that were hovering around suddenly jerked, as their heads suddenly split open, revealing the head of Lilith underneath. Their stomachs opened up to reveal their cores inside.

"Lets begin," said Lilith.

The bodies of the Eva Units suddenly exploded, from the core outwards, but instead of spilling blood, the white substance that Lilith seemed to be made of was floating in twelve different parts of the sky. Lilith opened her arms then, and accepted the Eva Units to her. Combining herself with the final angel, and the S2 engines, she generated her AT-field.

Shinji opened his eyes wearily, and as he looked out into the dark sky, he saw a horrible sight in front of him. The Lilith Asuka, with eyes that bled blood, was reaching for him. Shinji screamed, screamed until it felt like his chest would rip apart, but it didn't do him any good. The Lance of Longinus prevented not only himself, but Unit 01 from doing anything. He shouted at Unit 01 to move, for his mother to move, for the voice to move. But the only thing he heard back was his own voice as it bounced around the entry plug.

"Now then," smiled Lilith as she reached for Shinji. "Let us become one..."

Shinji screamed again, but felt darkness engulf him as Lilith took hold of him. But did he really care? After all, what did he have to live for anymore...if Asuka was.

'Thats it,' he heard a soothing voice all around him. 'Give into the hopelessness that is.'

Maybe it was right...whatever it was. It would be pleasant just to give up. To close his eyes and not care about anything, anyone. Nothing would matter...

'You want to forget everything. All the pain that everyone put you through. That you've put others through. So forget about them. Forget about everything.'

Shinji did just that.

* * *

Or so he thought.

But then...what was this? When last he remembered, everything had been dark...but this was unusually bright...and...warm? Like blood? No, a different warmth. Like a human's warmth...like that of a warmth shared between two humans.

So then where was he?

Shinji opened his eyes.

He looked around.

And then he remembered...

"Oh, right, Touji and Kensuke were over last night...and...ah I think I drank too much. Was Misato there?" He couldn't even quite remember. But that at least explained why he was so disoriented.

But then still...what was this warmth...and why was his vision so blurry?

What felt to be bed sheets, glided across his hand as he reached around in the brightness. He could distinguish shapes, but not very well. Had he gone blind? Since when had his eyes been this bad?

'Oh...wait!' he remembered.

Almost in a trance, he turned towards a table next to him, and grabbed his glasses where he had left them last night. He must have really been tired to momentarily forget about them.

Now that he was wearing his glasses, the room came into focus. It was odd though, it felt like this was first time seeing the room, but that was probably a hangover telling him that. Directly in front of him, a large window, with what looked like an oceanic view was clearly visible within his sight. To the left of the window, was a large white dresser that matched perfectly with the white wall behind it. Against a far corner of the room, was a mirror, large enough for Shinji to see his entire reflection in. Feeling slightly curious, he pushed himself off what he now knew to be a bed, and walked over to a mirror.

His twenty-two year old self looked back at him. His hair was slightly longer and stuck up at the back exactly as his fathers had. He smiled at this as he recognized features shared between himself and his parents. And speaking of which, he hadn't seen his parents in a while, maybe he should call them later.

His face was obviously slightly older, which made he confused, as he didn't remember looking this old, though for some reason, he thought there was a reason for that maybe. But the eyes were the same, the same brown eyes shared between himself and his mother. Though from the looks of things, he needed glasses just like his father. Without them, he could barely see.

Turning back around, he looked at the rest of the room. On the opposite side of the wall, another window was built into the side of the house giving a clear view of what looked to be a city off into the distance. Shinji looked around much of the rest of the room, looking at the light fixture on the ceiling, the white oak paneled door. The bedside table where he had retrieved his glasses which also had a book he had steadily been going through. The wooden frame of the bed, and the soft white cotton fabric that covered the bed. The person sleeping on the opposite side of the bed-

Shinji did a double take.

...There had been a person sleeping next to him...in the bed that he had been sleeping in...

Shinji gaped open mouth at this, during which the person wrapped in blankets started shifting their weight. Shinji could see the outline of the person's back as they turned away from him. He couldn't the face or head though; they seemed to have buried themselves deep under the covers.

'What do I do?' thought Shinji. He was starting to wonder if he even lived here, and if him, Touji, and Kensuke hadn't accidentally broke into someone else's house during the night. But that was impossible, he remembered everything in this room, except for this person. Was it some girl he had met during the night?

Flinching and sweating he slowly walked over to the edge of the bed and peered over towards the form of the person, though thats when the person turned towards him. Barely visible, poking out of the blankets was a forehead that gleamed like a pearl. Shinji stared at this for a while, gulping slowly, feeling extremely nervous over the situation.

A groan came from inside the blankets though, and the person shifted again, this time revealing more of the face. Her entire face came into frame then. The curve of her nose; the pronounced cheek bones; the perfectly shaped mouth; the light blue shade of her eyes; the glisten of her teeth as her mouth slowly opened and closed. And the hair...the silky strawberry hair that he loved to stroke late into the night when they were somewhere between sleeping and dreaming. Without a doubt, it was certainly-

"Asuka," mumbled Shinji as though he had never spoken the word in his life.

At Shinji's words, she seemed to stir slightly. Opening her eyes slowly, she looked back into the face that she woke up to every morning and mumbled a very sleepy-

"Ah...Shinji? What time is it?"

She did this as she rubbed her eyes with her small fists. Shinji however gaped back at her, unsure whether what he was seeing was true, or something that-

No, he couldn't remember...

But it was Asuka! It was certainly Asuka!

And Shinji embraced her as he had never done before, wrapping both his arms around her slim back and pulling her against his chest, burying his face in her lovely smelling hair.

"Eh? Shinji?" Asuka complained as she felt confused over these affections this early in the morning.

"Asuka," mumbled Shinji again. "Asuka..."

"What? Are you still a little drunk from last night? I know we both drank too much then normal, but cutting loose sometimes is a good thing."

Shinji simply hugged her tighter, enjoying the warmth being shared between their two bodies. This is what he loved. This is what he desired.

This is what he missed.

Missed? Why would he-

"Umm...Shinji? As much as I'm enjoying this...can you let go?" asked Asuka quietly.

Shinji pulled back slightly and looked into Asuka's eyes, seeing them wavering slightly. What was it about those eyes that made him so...

"Oh...sorry," mumbled Shinji as he let go.

"Whats up with you?" asked Asuka. "You're not normally this clingy in the morning, did you have a bad dream or something?"

"A bad dream?" wondered Shinji. "No, I don't remember anything like that-"

'...Forget...'

"Thats good then," smiled Asuka as she sat up and rested her back against the bed frame.

Shinji smiled also, but it felt somewhat forced.

"Soooo," said Asuka again, "what time is it?"

"Not sure," said Shinji, "I haven't been up for long."

"Hmmm...well, in any case I guess I should start breakfast."

"...Huh?" Shinji blinked.

"Breakfast," repeated Asuka as she slid off the leg, and walked on the balls of her feet to their dresser. "What do you want?" she asked as she started looking for something temporary to toss on. She was only in her underwear, which Shinji was just realizing. The light from the sun as it reflected of her beautiful skin was almost too much for him to bear. He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and-

"Waffles okay?" asked Asuka as she threw a shirt over her head and started putting on a pair of shorts.

"What?" said Shinji completely distracted by Asuka's beauty.

"Waffles silly," laughed Asuka as she walked past him. "They're your favorite right?"

"Huh?" asked Shinji, but next second, such an unbelievable hunger to have waffles made by Asuka engulfed him to the point he thought his mouth might start watering.

"Oh...yeah," said Shinji, realizing just how hungry he was. "Thanks Asuka."

"Don't mention it," smiled Asuka, "I love cooking for you Shinji!"

Shinji felt this statement odd for some reason, but let it slide. As Asuka walked passed him though, she pecked him briefly on the cheek with her lips.

"And it was great seeing Touji and Kensuke yesterday, I haven't seen them in ages, though it was too bad Hikari couldn't come."

"Oh...yeah," mumbled Shinji. "It was fun."

"Jeez, whats up with you this morning?" pouted Asuka. "First you embrace me lovingly, and then you act like you forgot things."

"Sorry," said Shinji, "I guess I'm just a bit hungover."

"Hmmm...and here I was hoping to spend some time with you after breakfast before your parents got here," mumbled Asuka quietly.

"My parents are coming?" asked Shinji incredulously.

"Of course, you called them a few days ago and told them we wanted to see them. After all, we haven't seen them since our wedding, though they both weird shifts over at Nerv so its to be expected."

'Marriage?' thought Shinji as he looked blankly at Asuka.

Him and Asuka were...married?

"Well, I'll get stared on breakfast then," beamed Asuka as she left their bedroom, leaving Shinji to stand there in confusion.

As he looked around at the bedroom, he noticed pictures that he hadn't noticed before. Walking over to one, he picked it up at random and stared at it. Him and Asuka, both around the ages of ten from the look of things were sitting at a park bench together and eating ice cream. They were both turned to each other and smiling. Turning the picture around, Shinji saw that words were scribbled on the back.

_Asuka and Shinji, Zoo Trip, 2010_

Looking around, Shinji saw that similar pictures of him and Asuka littered the bedroom upon the walls and dresser. Many of them were of them as kids, though a few were of them older. When they were in high school, college, and what finally looked like their wedding day. Shinji could see himself very clearly kissing Asuka in the photo. She looked beautiful in her white gown, her long hair flowing freely behind her.

Shinji smiled then, remembering the feel of Asuka's lips as he kissed her. Of course, they had kissed many times before that, but during there wedding, it had been something special.

That was a year ago, but really, when Shinji thought about it him and Asuka had known each other there wholes lives. There parents worked at Nerv together, so it was inevitable that they would meet eventually. They had been childhood friends for as long as Shinji could remember. But they had eventually grown to love each other. When this happened though, Shinji couldn't remember.

'How could I have forgotten something like this?' wondered Shinji.

He didn't know, and it bugged him slightly. But, his parents were coming later that day, so it was best not to worry about it.

Shrugging, Shinji left the bedroom and walked down the stairs to the kitchen below where the aroma of waffles filled his nostrils.

As morning ticked away, and afternoon slowly set in, Shinji and Asuka started preparing for Shinji's parents to arrive. They hadn't seen each other in a year, so tensions were rather high. It wasn't as if Shinji's parents had been upset with Asuka as a wife, it was just that they thought they should have waited longer. But when the time came, both Shinji's father and mother agreed that Asuka was the best choice for a wife. Shinji and Asuka had known each forever after all.

Since it had been some time since Shinji had seen his parents though, he wanted them to have the best impression of him as best possible, and Asuka of course. It was amazing though at how lax they had become around each other. This would of course have to improve upon when Shinji's parents came to visit. The nice thing about Asuka, compared to what most people seemed to think about her, she was unusually tidy. In fact, much of those two hours spent before Shinji's parents arrived, Asuka spent cleaning the entire house, except for the bedroom. Shinji had told her that he didn't want his parents entering it, and that if they tried, he would stop them. It was there own special place.

When two o' clock arrived though, Shinji heard the door bell ring. Knowing that Asuka was till getting ready, Shinji went ahead and decided to open the door, and there his parents stood, Yui and-

Shinji paused...his father wasn't there, but his mother was. And this was the first thing he was about to ask, when his mother answered it for him.

"Your father couldn't make it Shinji, he got stuck at the lab."

She smiled though, showing that she was glad to see him at least.

Stepping over the threshold of his house, Shinji brought his mom into a comforting hug, and brought her into his home.

"Asuka is just upstairs," said Shinji. "She should be down in a minute."

"I'm glad to see that you two are doing so well, and it looks like you've even peaked up a bit."

"Well...Asuka is a wonderful cook so-" smirked Shinji.

"Don't you know when to stop with the flattery," came a voice from the open door of the kitchen. Shinji turned towards the sound of the voice and saw Asuka standing there. She had separated her hair and tied it into two twin tails. She had put on an old favorite of hers; the yellow summer dress that she had worn a lot when she was younger.

"Asuka, its been a while," smiled Yui. "You look good."

"Thank you," replied Asuka. "Was Gendo not about to make it?"

"No," said Yui sadly, "he had to work. But tell me, how is life with Shinji? He isn't a nuisance is he?"

"No, not at all," said Asuka hurriedly.

"Thats a relief, I'm glad that Shinji didn't stay a kid forever."

"Mom," complained Shinji.

"Just kidding, just kidding," laughed Yui. "Though on a more serious note...when am I gonna get a grand child."

"...WHAT!" shouted Shinji and Asuka at the same time.

"Oh? Is it too early to ask about that?" said Yui feeling somewhat embarrassed. Though it was nowhere near as to how Asuka and Shinji felt.

"Children...mom we've only lived here a year," mumbled Shinji, his face completely red.

"Kids? We-We haven't even, I mean...thought about it what I, I mean no. Not like that. Eh?" stuttered Asuka uncontrollably.

"Ah...sorry, sorry," said Yui trying to repair the situation. "But you know, you and Asuka have known each other for a long time."

"But mom...that and this are two completely different things," said Shinji.

"Hmmm...well I suppose. But you know Misato and Kaji are already on there second-"

"Mom!"

"...Okay."

After that, they enjoyed talking together, catching up with each other since the past year. Yui told Shinji about the ongoings of the lab and told Asuka what her mom has been doing also. Apparently, Nerv was working on something that was supposed to better the human race, or at least thats what Shinji and Asuka got out of the conversation they had with Yui.

Though as the afternoon wore on, and set into evening, the sun started to go down across the ocean.

"Well...I should get home," said Yui eventually. "Gendo will be getting home from the lab soon."

"Alright see you mom," said Shinji as he stood up to walk her to the door.

"I'll drag your father along next time," promised Yui, as she stood just outside the door.

"I'll look forward to it," smiled Shinji.

"Then...next time."

"Right, next time," replied Shinji as he waved goodbye, before gently closing the door. Though the minute the closed, he turned to Asuka and said, "Sorry about that."

Asuka blinked. "About what?"

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Shinji mumbled, "You know...what she said about grandchildren...about us having kids."

"Oh...that," mumbled Asuka.

They both stood in silence for a while. Shinji wasn't sure what he should say, as he didn't know to say. It was something they hadn't even discussed yet, so his mother bringing it up all the sudden was sorta...

"Hey...Shinji?"

"Hmmm?"

"Lets go for a walk down on the beach."

"...What about dinner?"

"That can wait, and the sun is just setting so its really gorgeous out. Plus, we haven't walked on it in a while."

Shinji looked at her for a second, before agreeing with her. It had been a while since they had done something like that.

"Alright," said Shinji eventually. Walking over to her, he took a hold of her hand and walked out the back door of their house where they proceeded down the beach together.

The house itself was really only temporary lodgings, though it really felt like a never ending honeymoon. It was an old Nerv employee get away house that, thanks to Shinji and Asuka's parents, they were able to get it for them. Tokyo-3 was a forty-five minute drive away, but Asuka and Shinji enjoyed living in the country side. When they finally found a place to live themselves, they wanted to find something similar to what they had now. And Shinji had to admit, it would be difficult finding anything better then what they had.

The real bonus to the house though was that it had beach property that was exclusive to Nerv employees. Shinji and Asuka hadn't seen a single person at the beach since they had been there. It was there own little private beach, and they spent many sunsets walking the beach together or playing in the surf as they used to do as kids. But those days seemed to be slowly slipping away from them as they became older. So they wanted to enjoy these times as best they could.

As they stepped down off the steps that led down to the beach, Asuka took off the shoes she was wearing and undid the braids that held her twins tails together, making her strawberry colored hair flow in the ocean breeze. Shinji took his shoes off also, enjoying the crunch of the sand between his toes.

They walked hand in hand as they crossed the sand dunes of the beach, walking just barely far enough away from the surf so that they caught the spray from it. Shinji wondered why Asuka had wanted to come out here so suddenly, as it usually only happened when she wanted to tell him something.

And sure enough, Asuka suddenly let go of his and and walked towards the crashing waves, walking against the tide. She crinkled her toes, pressing them into the wet sand as she stood there, rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet. Her hair blended perfectly with the setting sun in front of her, turning it a golden color.

"Hey Shinji..."

"Hmmm?"

"I've been thinking recently...about a lot of things. About how happy I am with you, and its still hard for me to believe that we ended up together. We've been friends through our entire lives, and then we suddenly started dating, and got married, and then here we are."

Asuka turned towards him then, her head now blocking the sun.

"Everything seemed to have happened so fast, its hard to take everything in. But I want you to know that I love you...will always love you."

Shinji blinked, not having a clue where she was going with this.

"Though its been on my mind for a while, what your mom said earlier...well...kids..."

Shinji blinked again...

"Kids?" asked a bewildered Shinji.

"Don't you think we should...discuss it? I mean...it came out of nowhere, and I never thought about it when I myself was young. But I'm in my twenties now, and what your mom said about Misato..."

"Asuka...are you saying?"

"Well, what about it? Should we have kids?" asked Asuka.

"...I don't know," said Shinji truthfully. "I've never thought about it much either...I mean...should we wait a little longer? Like...until we've settled down and I'm working."

"You're going to work and Nerv eventually right?"

"Yeah, thats what I'm going to do most likely."

"Most likely? Shinji, I need a definite answer from you. This has to be something we agree upon, and I want our parents approval before we go through with this."

"Well, my mom seems ready whenever," smirked Shinji.

"I'm serious about this Shinji," mumbled Asuka. "I-I'm still unsure of myself, but also I'm...I'm scared and nervous. Raising a family, I've given never consideration to any of these things...but when I'm with you I-"

"Asuka," mumbled Shinji.

Taking several steps out into the surf, Shinji stood in front of Asuka and wrapped her arms around her.

"I don't know about this either...its confusing at this point what we want to do. But I'm happy when I'm with you, we've always been happy together. So...if having a kid would make us even happier, I think we should. Though...it'll be tough. I've never changed a diaper...have you?"

"Once, when I was with Misato. It was rough."

Asuka smiled slightly at that, while Shinji grinned back, holding her close against him.

"Hey Shinji," said Asuka.

"Huh?"

"I love you..."

Shinji was rather taken aback at this, but responded anyway.

"Asuka...I too, I-

...I what?

Well, love of course.

"Shinji?" asked Asuka as she looked up at him.

'What was that?' wondered Shinji feeling bemused.

"Shinji?"

"Oh...sorry..."

"Jeez, you're supposed to say you love me back," pouted Asuka.

"Sorry..."

"You still apologize too much," laughed Asuka as she pressed her head against his chest.

"Hey...Shinji...kiss me..."

Shinji did a double take at that, and looked down at Asuka.

"Why so suddenly?"

"Do I need a reason to receive a kiss from my husband?" asked Asuka while blushing slightly. It was all Shinji could do to not ravish her right there on the spot, but something held him back. What was it though.

"No, you don't," mumbled Shinji.

"Then kiss me," beamed Asuka as she looked up into his face, leaning close to. He didn't realize just how much taller he was than Asuka. But as there faces neared, her caught a sweet scent coming from her hair. Her cheeks were rosy red from the cold wind, while her lips were pink and he knew from experience, quite soft.

Experience? What experience?

The wedding for instance.

...What else though.

That was just it...Shinji couldn't remember kissing her any other time.

"Shinji?" asked Asuka as she breathed directly next to his cheek, tickling his skin softly. "Is something wrong?"

"No..." mumbled Shinji. "Nothing is-"

But it was.

"-wrong."

"Then kiss me silly," laughed Asuka.

Something about this. Something about Asuka. About his mother...

"What is it?" mumbled Shinji

"...What?" asked Asuka, feeling confused now. She stopped leaning into Shinji and stepped back from him now, looking somewhat worried.

"Whats wrong Shinji?"

Shinji looked around then; at the ocean; at the beach; at the sun; the trees; their house.

...Something was wrong...

Everything was wrong.

But Asuka was here...so did it really matter?

And he loved Asuka...he really did.

But-

'This isn't Asuka,' Shinji thought suddenly. 'Asuka isn't this kind and caring; Asuka isn't this beautiful; Asuka would never cook breakfast for me without me begging her first; Asuka wouldn't tell me she loves me; Asuka would never try to kiss me.'

Then what is this?

"Shinji?" asked the Asuka standing in front of him.

What is this place?

"Shinji? Whats going on? Whats wrong! Shinji!"

Shinji shuddered...remembering something...from long ago? No, recently...but it was painful, thats why he couldn't remember it. But he had to! It was important. It was important to him, because it related to her. But did he want to know? After all, this life wasn't so bad. Even if this Asuka is different, it isn't so bad. Everybody is nice to him, everything is simple. Nothing ever happens in this mundane life.

But this isn't reality.

And this isn't my Asuka.

"Where is Asuka?" wondered Shinji out loud.

"Wh-What are you talking about Shinji?" asked the Asuka in front of him.

Shinji looked down at the Asuka in front of him, and was amazed that he could have been fooled by such a thing. It was too perfect, and thats what the problem had been.

"I'm sorry," said Shinji, "but this isn't, not what I wanted. This reality, where I only matter. Everybody else is somewhere out there, but I didn't care."

"Sh-Shinji...what are you-"

"Sorry," replied Shinji, "but I'm not being fooled by this anymore."

Turning around, he looked at a space directly into the side of cliff upon which there house had been built, and suddenly, an empty space appeared cut into the side of the cliff. It was black, with very little light, except for a dim glow.

Shinji walked over to this space and looked down into its depth. He couldn't see anything, but he guessed what was likely down there.

"What are you doing?" Asuka suddenly shouted behind him.

Shinji turned around and saw that she was crying. This was likely a final attempt to try and keep him there, but he wasn't buying it. After all...Asuka was-

"I'm sorry," mumbled Shinji. "I really am...but I don't belong here, and neither do you really. This place...this false reality...I think I understand it, and I'm ashamed of it. I was weak...Ironically, I did exactly what Lilith told me not to forget, and that was the lives of others affected by my decisions. I can't hear them though...and I need to fix that."

"I don't understand," whispered Asuka.

"No...you wouldn't, since you are something that I desired...out of my selfishness, because I wanted to run away from it all. But not anymore..."

Sighing, Shinji looked towards the black hole for a brief instance before making up his mind. Within that space, Lilith was waiting.

Without a seconds thought, Shinji into the unknown.

And-

* * *

His eyes opened.

He was flat on his back, on what felt to be a sand like substance, but it was pale white. Pushing himself up, he looked around at his surroundings, but only several things were in his vision. The first, was that of a large decrepit tree with almost all its branches withered and rotted away. Around the tree was the ground, blackened with what appeared to be fire. The tree was on an island that was wrapped around by a small creak. But the creak seemed to have dried up long ago, leaving nothing left but the bones of the fish. However sitting in the middle of this island was Lilith.

Shinji stared at her for a few seconds, marveling at the change in her. She no longer looked like Asuka or Rei, but something closer to a shrine maiden. Lilith had a long flowing kimono that was pure white, along with white hair that reached to her waist.

"I see you have awakened, Shinji," came Lilith's voice from very close to him. But the strange thing was, he cold still see here on the island.

"Yeah...I have," muttered Shinji as he stood up and looked at her.

Lilith finally turned towards Shinji, and then he understood that she wasn't communicating with him verbally but that she was using her AT-field to resonate with his so that they could talk.

"I must say that I am impressed that you were able to escape that false reality, and without using your angel powers."

"I created it," Shinji mumbled. "It was mine to control."

"True, very true. It was what you desired, and so, your desire was granted because of Third Impact."

"So then...its over?"

"The Tree of Life is withering away...so yes...it is."

Shinji stared at Lilith for a minute before he spoke, "Why did you do all this?"

Lilith blinked, momentarily surprised. "What are you talking about?" she asked oddly polite.

"Why did you lead me all this way, only to have me reject that false reality for one that is more painful than anything I could ever bare."

"But it was those memories of that girl that makes you desire the truth. As you realized, that Asuka is not the Asuka that you know. That Asuka was simply how you wished, or desired to see Asuka as, just as everybody else in that world was as you desired. A living mother, a father that, though he works, cares about you. Whatever you desired, the reality created. During your time there, new memories were constantly being created based on questions you asked. But it was your own defense against what the truth of it was. And that was that it was all false to begin with.

Lilith looked at the Tree of Life then and said, "This is the alternate dimensions sealed within the earth called the Garden of Eden. This is the plane in which the angels used to live, but you destroyed them, and now the branches are rotted and dead. The trunk will soon die, and then-"

"And then what?" asked Shinji.

Lilith was silent for a while until she finally said.

"Everything will revert to LCL fluid...most likely, planet earth will cease to exist."

"And that is what you want?"

"I want to recreate the earth as I see fit, but the Tree of Life must be destroyed before that can happen."

"And that is what you want?"

"It is," said Lilith as she stared at the dying tree.

...

"Is that the truth?" asked Shinji.

Lilith rounded on him.

"What do you mean is that the truth! Why wouldn't it be!"

Shinji shrugged and said, "Adam...or maybe I should say my father...he is angry with you, but he still pities you, maybe that is his way. But I think its true that you're lonely, and that you've been alone for too long. Your hatred of Adam and the angels brewed until you decided to destroy everything that you once loved.

"What would you know about that Shinji!" Lilith shouted at him.

"Being lonely? I know that better than anyone," mumbled Shinji.

"I tell you! I will destroy the Tree of Life and in its place set myself as the center piece of earth and recreate it as I see fit. All life will stem from me!"

"But you'll still be lonely," said Shinji.

"Shut up!" shouted Lilith as she sent her AT-field at him. But Shinji skillfully dodged.

Breathing heavily, Lilith said, "I should have just killed you back then, during Third Impact, but I was curious about you Shinji, curious what decision you would choose, and I was surprised to see that you chose this reality over the other."

"Don't be so surprised Lilith," said Shinji. "You killed Asuka...and I can't forgive you of that...but I do pity you, and not because of Adam, but because of myself. I pity you because I know that feeling of loneliness...but Asuka saved me from all that...and she also saved me again."

"What are you talking about?"

"Her voice...her voice brought me back from that reality."

"Thats impossible," spat Lilith, "she's dead!"

"Physically...yes. But within that sea of LCL fluid, Asuka is there somewhere. She has the strongest will out of anyone I have ever seen, and knows clearly who she is. She found herself in there, and called me back. I'm sure of it."

"Shut Up!" shouted Lilith again as she sent her AT-field at Shinji, but this time, Shinji blocked it easily.

"Lilith...I want to talk to Ayanami..."

"...What?"

"I want to talk to Ayanami," repeated Shinji clearly. "So if you could-"

Lilith lashed out at him again, but Shinji ignored this, dodging the AT-field again.

"Why do you want to talk that useless, soulless-"

"Because Ayanami will tell me," whispered Shinji. "Tell me what you don't want-"

Lilith suddenly disappeared from the island and appeared directly in front of Shinji, throwing he fist against him. Dodging around to the side, Shinji carelessly projecting his AT-field as Lilith swung around again, striking her fist against his AT-field. But Lilith seemed strangely underpowered here.

"You're forgetting Lilith," said Shinji. "That this is where the angel half of me would be the strongest. Though still human, I was born from Adam. "

"SHUT UP!"

Lilith's AT-field exploded outward around her, ripping apart the ground as it charged towards him. Frowning slightly, Shinji mumbled, "She isn't going to listen...is she..."

Resigning himself to what it was, he brought his right fist back and prepared to generate his AT-field for what he hoped was the last time.

* * *

**I've had this chapter in my mind for a while and in particular the false reality section. The big thing I had to keep in mine was, to not let the romance get too deep. Under no circumstances was a going to have Shinji say that he loved this fake Asuka, nor was he going to kiss her. I mean, this hasn't even happened in the true reality. (Sorta)**

**Anyway, enough rambling. Back to Christmas dinner.**


	34. Truth

**And Update...alright its been a while. Sorry about that everyone, but we are nearing the end. I've had a long break however and am eager to finish this off, and with the two year anniversary of Spawn of Adam coming up, I intend to do that. To those of you that have been waiting eagerly, here you go!**

**Also, if you didn't check out my Valentines Day one shot, do so now. Very fluffy with a bit of citrus at the end. Discovering Love!**

* * *

Lilith's AT-field roared towards Shinji, cutting apart the rotted ground as it neared him. Reacting quickly, Shinji drew back his right arm, and projected his own AT-field in a dome around him. The two AT-fields collided, created a shockwave that shook the very foundations of the dimension they resided in. The two beings squared off against each other, waiting for the other to strike. Lilith's white kimono flowed behind her, but her features had changed. Her face was now twisted upward evilly and her eyes glowed blood red.

Shinji stared at her for a second, his right arm careless at his side. He didn't want to have to fight her if he couldn't help it. But-

Lilith suddenly projected her AT-field forward, cutting Shinji's thoughts off.

"What the hell do you know about me!" shouted Lilith as she continued attacking Shinji. "Who are you to know what I feel!"

Shinji was silent as he blocked Lilith's AT-field time and time again.

Lilith stopped however, and took several steps back, breathing heavily. Something seemed to be paining her.

"You creation of Adam! What the fuck could you possibly know about me!"

"It has nothing to do with Adam!" Shinji shouted back at her.

Projecting his AT-field in a wide arc, he swung it down towards Lilith. Lilith projected her AT-field over herself, and as the two AT-fields clashed, an explosion of bright white light ricochet around the battlefield, blinding the two momentarily. Shinji felt his eyes sting from the burst of light, but stood motionless, letting his other senses kick in, searching for Lilith; he was sure that she would take this opportunity to attack.

Sure enough, he sensed a presence to his left and turned towards that way, just in time to see Lilith's white kimono lashing out at him. Shinji dove backwards as her AT-field soared towards him. Swinging his arm forward, Shinji projected his AT-field around himself, blocking Lilith's AT-field.

"Damn you!" screeched Lilith from his right.

Shinji turned again but wasn't quick enough this time. Lilith caught him off guard, but instead of attacking him with her AT-field like he thought she would, she punched him cleanly in the face, sending him reeling backwards and to the ground. Shinji had not expected this tactic from her. Moving fast though, Shinji rolled to his left just as her AT-field stabbed into the ground. Pushing himself upward, Shinji grabbed one of Lilith's arms and threw her over his shoulder. However, Lilith majestically corrected herself in midair, and landed easily on the ground.

Lilith stared at Shinji hatefully, hating him for everything that he was. But she also envied him in a way.

"Why do you exist?" asked Lilith suddenly.

Shinji stared back at her for a few seconds before he sigh and said, "Haven't I been asked that enough lately?"

"I don't care! Why do you exist? How is it that someone such as yourself, with Adam as your father can exist! You who have been shunned all your life and beaten down by people greater than you! How is it that you can still exist!"

Shinji was silent, his eyes glazed over as he thought about this. Yes, many times he had almost given up, but he had always continued pushing forward. Was it because of Asuka? That may very well be apart of it, but something more he thought. The human spirit itself was something that refused to give up, even in its most hopeless moments. Maybe that was the human side of him that refused to give up, while his angel half wanted him to give in and except all the pain and torment.

"I exist because I can," Shinji eventually said. "A future where I existed was something that I had never thought of after I discovered my angel half. I always assumed I would die somewhere along the line, and sometimes even searched death out. Part of that was my disassociation with Asuka, but part of that was just my own hopelessness over the situation. Why should I live? I am something which is an abomination, something that has no right to live. But that itself is my own selfishness. What about the others around me? How will they be affected by my death? Would my father and mother truly be pleased if I wanted to die?"

"But your father was a being beyond human comprehension, and your mother was a lost woman!"

"They are may parents, and so they still care about me. I've talked to my mother a few times, and she still cares about me. As for my father...I'm sure he feels the same."

"Lilith, I don't want to die. I don't want anyone to die. I want to live my life with the person I love while my friends and family are around me. This world that you are creating, you claim it is for us Lilim, but in reality it is your own selfish wish. You only care about yourself now, whereas you used to care about things that could grow by there own devices."

"So what if I wish that! I deserve that after this centuries of-"

"Don't go throwing everything else away for that!" shouted Shinji. "I should know what loneliness feels like, and I hate myself for getting caught up in that world that I created. Even if the world you create is repopulated by humans, nobody will be the same. Asuka won't be the Asuka I know. Misato won't be the same, and Rei won't be the same. Every human is unique in there own way, and can never be recreated. I don't want something like that...I've already experience it once before. Asuka in particular...her crudeness, her kindness...nothing could replace who she is."

"Why should I care about one human out of billions?"

"I do though," said Shinji with a slight smile. "Asuka is very important to me...more so than I care to admit."

"You can't bring her back though, so why even try?"

"I can though," said Shinji. "Third Impact happened because of the combination of Lilith and Adam; myself and yourself. I have a hand in this, but I shut out the truth by enclosing myself in that false reality. I was the catalyst that brought this all about, so I should also be able to reject Third Impact."

"I won't let you!"

"It is odd Lilith, how even at the end of everything, you had to rely on me, the offspring of Adam to bring you here."

Lilith's rage suddenly erupted, and wings of light exploded out her back. The white kimono she had once worn was shredded to pieces. Her face no longer showed any human characteristics, and it was once again the facelessness of Lilith.

She attacked Shinji in a blinded rage, her AT-field erupting in great torrent so that it split the ground. Great chasms opened up in the earth as her rage erupted forth. Shinji finally appreciated the difference in power between himself and Lilith.

Lilith's AT-field broke off into several forms and rushed at Shinji. Dodging the first attack, Shinji was forced to block the second with his own AT-field, though the second one pierced into his left thigh, bringing him momentarily to the ground. Blood poured from the open wound, but very quickly, the wound started to close up as it regenerated. Shinji was still surprised at how far his regenerative powers had come.

Lilith yelled in fury as she sent wave after wave of her AT-field at Shinji, though Shinji didn't seem fazed by this in the least; he dodged or blocked each of them easily.

"Why are you smiling?" shouted Lilith as she continued attacking him.

"Your stubbornness is actually reminding me about Asuka," smiled Shinji.

"Don't compare me to that bitch!" roared Lilith as she swung both her arms down. Her AT-field turned into a spear similar to that of the Lance of Longinus and charged at Shinji. Shinji projected his own AT-field around him, and met the spear head on the. The two collided with each other, creating a blinding explosion. Shinji could feel the ground tremble beneath him as if it was in fear of the two beings fighting. The landscape was starting to look like a war had taken place.

Standing up straight, Shinji looked through the cloud of dust to where Lilith stood, but realized too late that she had moved. Feeling a presence above him, Shinji looked up into the black sky devoid of stars and saw Lilith several feet above him, her AT-field rushing towards him. Shinji brought both his arms up, generating a dome around himself, blocking the AT-field.

Lilith landed on the ground, and rushed at Shinji again, attacking him from all sides, her AT-field attacking every inch of Shinji's. Shinji could feel his AT-field starting to break down, and dissipated it, jumping backwards as he did. Lilith charged after him, throwing out her AT-field towards.

'This has gone on long enough,' thought Shinji.

Stopping suddenly in his tracks, Shinji turned towards the oncoming Lilith and swung his right arm down. Shinji AT-field exploded from within him, and rushed towards Lilith's own. Lilith's eyes widened as she saw this, and froze, stunned at this sudden turn of events. From her perspective, it seemed to her that Adam had come to thwart her plans. But as her vision changed, she saw Shinji only standing there, a calm look on his face.

"You bastard!" screamed Lilith as the two AT-fields collided.

Almost instantly, Lilith felt herself get pushed back several inches; her AT-field was losing, losing to a weak human. Lilith's fury redoubled, and she attacked back with everything she had, pushing herself to the very limits. Why was she having such trouble over one boy? As she looked up though, and saw Shinji still standing there with his arm extended, she felt something waver inside of her. Was it Rei?

Shinji easily shattered Lilith's AT-field then, and stood motionlessly, staring at Lilith.

"Why," mumbled Lilith. "Why are you impeding me?"

"I'm not losing Asuka," mumbled Shinji.

"Its Adam, isn't it! He's telling you to stop me!"

"Adam isn't telling me anything anymore," said Shinji with a sigh. "He's decided not to interfere anymore, for better or for worse."

"Then that girl? Only for that girl you would go this far?"

"Not simply for her...but for everyone as well. They deserve it. Many people had nothing to even do with Nerv, or the angels; so what about them? Is it fair to take there life away? That isn't what I believe."

"You don't even know what awaits you! So how can you be so optimistic."

"I have to be, because I don't know myself to where I'll go after this is all over. What the state of earth is, or whether everyone will even be able to return."

Lilith grimaced at him, but didn't move. Something within her seemed to battling itself.

"What will you do Lilith?" asked Shinji.

"What can I possibly do?" shouted Lilith. "You take away everything from me and expect me to just be okay with that?"

"What did I take away from you that you had?" asked Shinji. "You never had anything in the first place; you gave all that up a long time ago."

"I created you humans, and gave you the knowledge to live, so I can take back what is mine then!"

"You won't do that," said Shinji as he started walking towards Lilith. "Or I should say Ayanami won't allow that."

"What are you-"

"I know Lilith, that Ayanami is simply a body created from you to heal Gendo of his hurt over losing my mother, but she managed to develop her own self. It must be difficult having to warring minds argue. Ayanami was always quiet, but very resolute in her decision. She wont budge an inch, and in order to be complete, you need her."

"I don't need her, or anything else!"

"But she is still a part of you, and without that, you are incomplete. Lilith, let me talk to Ayanami. I don't want to force her out if possible, but I will if you force me."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Lilith, you should know very well by now that I am capable of that. You on the other hand poured yourself into so many things that you have lost much of your power. The Evangelions, Ayanami, Third Impact, it has taken its toll on you. You are not as powerful as you used to be, and I would not have much difficulty extracting Ayanami from within you."

"Why do you even want to talk with her?"

"To confirm things which you will not tell me."

Lilith was silent for several seconds until she said, "Why did I ever interact with you."

"It was your own decision, and now you have to live by it. But...I think I learned things from you that I would never have learned on my own...and for that I have to thank you. You killed Asuka, and for that I can never forgive you, nor do I have any remorse for you. But Ayanami is still with you, so I can't bring myself to kill you."

"Hmph, do what you please then," said Lilith. "But by no means am I done with you Shinji."

"Bring Ayanami out then."

"...Fine."

Lilith's face suddenly changed; her hair grew slightly, and her face changed to that of Rei, but she still had the same eyes.

"Ikari-kun," whispered Rei.

"Sorry about calling you like this," mumbled Shinji as he scratched the back of his head.

"...No, its okay," said Rei as she shook her head. "You had something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes, and I suppose I should get it over with before Lilith returns. Ayanami...where is Asuka...and everyone?"

"...Do you want to see?" asked Rei after a moments pause.

"I do," nodded Shinji.

"I have to tell you this first though Shinji, even if Third Impact is avoided as you wish it...not everyone may comeback."

"I know, I was prepared for that."

"Ultimately, it will be everyones decision whether they chose the false reality that was offered to them, or the world as it is."

"So then...I wasn't the only one who accepted the false reality?"

"No, you weren't. You were the first one to accept it, and afterwards, people started accepting it as well, though you were the only person to wake up from it. Some however, didn't chose the false reality, and so became as everyone else...LCL fluid. Though there are those of course that died before Third Impact."

"What happens to them?" asked Shinji.

"I am not sure. Lilith may know, but won't say."

"What about Asuka though? Is she-"

"She is fine, though trapped with everyone else within the Black Egg of Lilith that didn't chose the false reality."

"The Black Egg buried under Tokyo-3?"

"Correct, the earth now is-"

Shinji felt his feet suddenly leave solid ground, and felt his body moving at speeds unfathomable by the human mind. All to suddenly though, he felt himself crash into something, or was that just what he felt?

Shinji looked around him and felt a familiar setting; he was back inside the entry plug of Unit 01.

"...What is this?" wondered Shinji.

"Where your body is," said Rei.

Shinji turned to his left and saw that Rei was kneeling beside him in the entry plug of Unit 01. She was wearing her own entry plug suit now.

"Your mind had traveled to the false reality while your body remained here. Since Lilith still needed the DNA of Adam to initiated Third Impact, she sectioned off your body from your mind and let it wander free, much as she did during that activation test of yours. Though when you escaped from the false reality, your mind traveled to the Garden of Eden where Lilith was."

Shinji looked out from the entry plug of Unit 01, to the earth below. The entire earth had turned a dark red color as though the entire planet had died, and Shinji viewed all this from space. Unit 01 had been impaled with the Lance of Longinus and had fused with Lilith. A swirling vortex formed around the earth, everything seeming to meet in the center of where Lilith's arms where. A black sphere was floating there unsupported as humanity continued to turn into LCL fluid.

Shinji looked to his left and right and saw the true body of Lilith floating there. Wings had grown out of her back and the face seemed to have also changed back to Rei. The twelve Mass Produced Eva Units floated like a crown above her head, each of them impaled by one of fake Lances of Longinus.

"...Asuka is...there?" said Shinji as he pointed to the black sphere in Lilith's hands.

"Yes, that is likely where she is, but you can't get there yet."

"...I know," mumbled Shinji painfully. He wanted nothing more than to be with Asuka again, but in order to do that, he had other things to deal with.

"Ayanami...is it my fault that things have come to this? I destroyed the angels before, and now the Tree of Life is almost dead."

"The angels did there duty to serve the tree and destroy humanity if it came to that, you did what you had to to protect the people you cared for. You are not in the wrong."

"But what can I do to fix all this?"

Rei was silent for several seconds before she said, "You want to reject Third Impact, but in order to do that properly, you must either kill Lilith, or convince her otherwise."

"I won't kill her, because that would kill you as well."

"Ikari-kun...you should know very well what will happen to me either way at the end of this."

"I can't accept that!"

"Then you can become like everyone else; the exact same."

Shinji was silent, thinking about his course of action. He didn't want to kill Lilith, but he couldn't give up on Asuka and everyone else.

"Ayanami?"

"Yes?"

"Lilith has been lonely for a long time now...correct?"

"...Yes..."

"Why is she doing what she is doing?"

"...You should have already guessed Ikari-kun."

'So I was right,' thought Shinji sadly. In the end, Lilith just wanted to be recognized again, even if it came to this.

"Adam won't budge though," said Shinji. "He's leaving me to decide what happens next."

"Is that so?" asked Rei.

"Yeah...I think he has already...moved on. Humans can do what they please, and since his angels have also died, he has no reason to stay here any longer. But Lilith is-"

"Still holding on," mumbled Rei.

"Yeah," sighed Shinji.

Looking down at the black sphere, Shinji tried to find Asuka within it, but everybody's AT-fields had blended together that it was near impossible to find one individual out of millions.

'But she's there,' thought Shinji, 'and she's waiting impatiently for me as well.' This thought made him smile slightly.

Turning back to Rei, he said, "I think I've seen enough. I'm ready to go back to the Garden of Eden."

"When we return, Lilith will take control again," said Rei. "Is that what you want."

"Its fine," nodded Shinji. "My quarrel is with her, not you after all. And Ayanami..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you...and this is, likely goodbye, isn't it?"

Rei stared back at Shinji for several seconds until she nodded once.

"Ayanami...I..."

But Rei shushed him by placing a finger of hers over his lips.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be okay, and Asuka is waiting for you."

Shinji blinked, momentarily surprised.

"Since when have you called her Asuka?"

But Rei just waved at him, before tapping him lightly on the head. Once again, Shinji felt his body moving at speeds unfathomable...though it wasn't really his body he supposed.

Shinji felt his feet hit the ground and was momentarily disoriented. Looking around though, he felt his equilibrium mellow out, and saw Lilith standing there, no longer Rei. She watched him silently, but Shinji could feel the killing intent radiating from her. She wasn't about to stop yet.

"Lilith, wait a second."

"Why should I? You had your talk as I allowed you."

"I don't want to fight you anymore. I'm tired of all this."

"So then just die all ready!" shouted Lilith as she rushed towards Shinji. But Shinji his ground with moving an inch until he shouted-

"Adam has moved on!"

Lilith froze in her tracks, her eyes wavering. Adam had moved on? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean he has moved on?"

"He no longer cares about earth," said Shinji. "And the Lilim he has decided to let be."

Lilith narrowed her eyes into slits; she was confused about this sudden change.

"So what are you saying? That since Adam is no longer here, I am supposed to just pack up and leave? Fuck that! Earth is mine then if he no longer cares about it, and I will claim it as such."

"Lilith, isn't this enough already? Everything...everything was all for the sake of being recognized again, even it was by hatred. You didn't care what it took, as long as Adam looked at you again."

"Shut Up!" yelled Lilith as she cut the air with her AT-field. She easily dodged this and stared back at her, pitying what she had become.

"Lilith...I had always wondered why you had such an interest in me, and part of me understands that because you needed me to initiate your version of Third Impact, but it was also out of curiosity. I was born from a human and Adam, something which is itself strange. But you were jealous because it was my mother that Adam loved. I don't know if you had watched me since before we first met, but I knew that you were curious about the powers I may possess. But why were you so curious? Was it because you saw Adam within me, or that you wished to make Adam suffer through me? I have no idea really."

"Thats bullshit!"

"Is it? I don't know," shrugged Shinji. "But Adam is gone, and whether he accomplished what he wanted, I have no idea. He had his own plans for me, but he seemed to have dropped them somewhere along the way. He has moved on, and I have no idea as to where. So then why Lilith? Why would you remain here when the person you love is-"

"SHUT UP!" roared Lilith as she clutched her head in agony. Everything that this body was saying, everything...

"Lilith," whispered Shinji, "lets stop this. I don't think you ever wanted to destroy earth, you only wanted recognition from Adam. But instead, at least I think, he used me to get through to you, and once he saw your state, he gave up. Maybe he thought there was something still left within you that he could care about...but now, after all his children have gone, he as left."

"I don't care, I don't care," mumbled Lilith as she shook her head. "Everything can just burn away."

"Would you do that to this planet which you cared about so much?"

Lilith didn't answer, as tears started to come from her eyes. Her face was no longer featureless, and she had reverted to that of a shrine maiden.

"The feeling of being alone for all those years...it must have been hard," said Shinji. "I know what loneliness is like, but never could I imagine feeling that for centuries. I'm lucky for what I've found, and I don't intend to let it go."

Lilith looked up at Shinji then, her face contorted with confusion, sadness, and anger. Everything that Shinji had said, she was having trouble denying it, since-

"What do you want to do Shinji?" asked Lilith suddenly.

"Myself? Well...I suppose I would like to hold Asuka in my arms right now and never let go of her again. Afterwards...probably see Misato and Ritsuko, Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari. Ayanami though..." Shinji trailed of here, unwilling thinking about Rei.

"But I want to do many things," he continued. "So many that I wouldn't know where to start. But with all of them, I want to experience with Asuka. Its strange, because even though we know each other so well, we still don't really. We haven't shared much with each other yet. Birthdays, Christmas; so many things I want to do with her."

"Do realize what you are saying though?" asked Lilith. "Third Impact has been initiated and everything has reverted to the soup of life. Asuka's consciousness is-"

"She's there though, waiting for me," smiled Shinji slightly. "And I'm sure she'll beat me half to death after this."

Lilith frowned at Shinji, before letting out a low sigh and standing up to her full height. "I'm beginning to understand why I tested you as I did, though I think I always understood."

"What?"

"The connection between yourself and that girl...it reminded me of myself and Adam in the days of our youth. The mistakes that we made...that I made, I wanted to see how the two of you would fair. It was surprising though, that humans could love each other such as you two do."

"It is not like that for all humans though," said Shinji.

"I know. In your entirety, you're a despicable race which deserves to be destroyed, though for that I must take blame for. Showing the Lilim the Black Egg was a mistake on my part, and Adam has never forgiven me for it."

"Maybe he will though," shrugged Shinji.

"No, he will never forget it," said Lilith as she looked up at the sky. She was silent for a few seconds as she looked up at the black sky, until she looked back at Shinji and asked-

"Adam, your father, I had wondered it before, because I have felt his presence more than once, but was he with you today?"

"...I believe so," shrugged Shinji. "He never gave reasons as to why he did what he did, but he also helped me along the way until I could handle things my own. In a way, he was acting as a parent should, though whether that was his intention, I don't know. I talked to him before Third Impact though, and understood that he was leaving."

"I thought so," smirked Lilith. "He was always interfering with my plans though." Lilith seemed to brighten slightly at this thought.

"Lilith..." asked Shinji.

"Yes?"

"What will you do now?"

"What will I do?" blinked Lilith. "I haven't thought about that much honestly. Do I chase after him...or not? I can't decide. You are right though...I love the earth very much, but honestly don't have control over the growth of living things anymore. The Tree of Life is that which governs the earth, and if it dies-"

"But isn't that my fault for killing the angels?" asked Shinji.

"Not true. The angels governed certain aspects of nature correlating to the branches of the tree. True, when the angel was killed, the branch it governed withered, but the tree still had a chance to regrow. The ultimate fault must lie with humans, because they have steadily polluted the earth."

"But it can regrow?"

"Yes, but only if given the time, and it may take several years."

Shinji looked at Lilith, wishing that he could believe what she said to be true, but-

"What will the earth...be like until then?"

"A ruin," answered Lilith simply. "Mankind has been brought to its knees by Third Impact, so the infrastructure may take time to rebuild. Animals and plants will be the same as usual, but will start to take dominion if the Lilim do not claim there place again."

"Can't you do anything about that?"

"No, I can not. I don't have the power anymore. Though frankly, this is a good lesson for the Lilim."

"I suppose," sighed Shinji. "But...I want to ask you something else...Asuka is-"

"LCL fluid along with everyone else," answered Lilith.

"So then...is it not possible for me to find her?"

Lilith paused for a second before she said, "It is...possible, but unlikely. If your AT-field were able to find her, then the possibility exists. But I have to warn you Shinji."

"...What?"

"Asuka has likely regained her memories while floating in the LCL fluid, so if you meet her...I can't know what her reaction to seeing you would be."

"How is that she would regain them?"

"Her memories of you were destroyed, but not lost. She remembered things, meaning that fragments remained. When everyone became LCL fluid, her memories likely reformed from the scattered pieces. It is possible even, that she has sectioned herself off from everyone else."

"Do you think I should find her."

"I won't say anything," whispered Lilith. "Myself and Adam have already interfered enough in your life and the person you love. The damage that has been done may be...irrevocable."

"What do you mean?"

"Asuka may hate you, because she will remember everything you did from the moment she lost her memories, and everything before she lost them. She will hate you for what you did to her."

"What choice did I have then?"

"It is in the past, so it no longer has any meaning. You can only look back and reflect on your mistakes. Maybe, with time, she will be able to forgive you."

"What if she doesn't though?"

"You will have to live with the knowledge of what you did," said Lilith mournfully.

"...And there is nothing you could do?"

Lilith was silent as she watched Shinji, but she eventually whispered, "There is something I can do, and I suppose you deserve it after everything I've put you through, but I can't do it without her consent as well."

"What is it?"

"I won't say anything, not until you have found her. In the meantime though, I will halt Third Impact so that you have a chance to find her. But remember, it is extremely unlikely that you can find her."

"...I'm not worried about finding her, I'm worried about how she'll react after she sees me," mumbled Shinji.

"Suit yourself," said Lilith. She watched as Shinji stood where he was and tried to search for his body high up within the earth atmosphere.

'You are a strange boy Shinji,' thought Lilith. 'I still can't understand you, even after watching you for several years, but I did get to see you grow unlike someone else, so I suppose it hasn't been all bad. But for what awaits you when you finally find the girl you love...I hope you are prepared.'

'He will be,' came a new voice from inside Lilith. 'I have faith that those two can become one again.'

'We'll see,' thought Lilith in reply to Rei's statement.

In front of her, Shinji's mind suddenly vanished, returning to its body high above in the atmosphere.

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes in the entry plug of Unit 01 and looked down at the earth. True to her word, Lilith had halted Third Impact so that Shinji could find Asuka. Admittedly, he was finding it hard to believe half of what Lilith said, and he still loathed her for killing Asuka, but if she was truly remorseful about everything she had done, he could live with that.

The black sphere in front of him...Asuka was somewhere within there, and he intended to find her.

Sending out his AT-field with his very self projected within it, he put all his thoughts into finding Asuka. He conjured up memories from times almost forgotten. Asuka cooking breakfast in the morning, eating lunch with her at school, there questionable date, every memory that he cherished of her, he thought as his mind plunged into the black sphere.

Darkness enveloped him almost instantly, but he felt the presence of people around him. Suddenly, the darkness lifted, and Shinji found himself floating in nothing but orange LCL fluid. Voices echoed all around him as he heard the people who had been turned in LCL fluid. Everybody's voice had blended into one however, so that it sounded like one coherent voice.

'Asuka,' thought Shinji as he heard voices echoing all around him. He was saddened by the many people trapped within the sphere, but he couldn't do anything to help them right now.

Shinji moved further within the sea of voices, continuing to search for Asuka, his thoughts constantly on her.


	35. Finality

**Two years to the day I posted Spawn of Adam here on Fanfic. Its been an amazing run everybody, but here we go. This is the last chapter! Sorta. Epilogue after this but that doesn't count. ****Thank you to all the support I've received from everyone through these long two years. Its hard for me to believe that this is finally ending. This has been a huge part of my life over these past two years, and I'd like to thank everyone that has read this. Arigato Gozaimasu Minna-san!**

* * *

Lilith sat with her back against the Tree of Life, staring forward across the empty plane, her thoughts residing on Shinji and where his actions would take him. Whether she herself had orchestrated things so that it would reach this conclusion, she didn't know. She had affected both there lives to a certain extent, but ultimately, they had always seemed to have been drawn together ever since they had first met those many months ago. Even if Shinji wasn't an angel, that the Evangelions had never existed, that herself and Adam had never warred with each other, Lilith knew that Shinji and Asuka would still have connected as they did. She had to admit...she was jealous in a way; the two of them had something that she had never had. Well, that wasn't quite true she supposed...

Lilith titled her head upwards, looking at the dark sky devoid of any stars. She wondered how Shinji would fair inside the Black Egg. It was very easy to get lost within the sea of people, all of which were the same. But Shinji loved Asuka enough, and that alone would be enough to find her. After that though...

"Hey...Rei?" mumbled Lilith as she continued looking upward.

From within her, Rei replied.

"Are you still having doubts about those two?"

"Even if Asuka does agree to returning, the damage has already been done, both inside and out. Even though I promised Shinji that I would help, the only thing I can help with is-"

"They will be able to shoulder that hardship, even if it does torment them for years to come. I have faith in them. Shinji and Asuka are entwined together as you thought so much so that one can't live without the other."

"Do you have any idea why that is? You were able to observe them better than I was after all."

"I can only say that they are connected in a way rarely seen by humans in this day and age. They are very much incomplete, but together, they are more whole. They make up for each others faults and problems, and are able to understand each other because they share similarities. Love doesn't describe there bond so much as the need to be close to each other. Even if they had just stayed friends, they would have still desired that warmth of being near."

"Was there ever a possibility of them breaking apart?"

"Even now that possibility still exists, but Shinji should be able to negate that. His actions have driven them this far after all."

Lilith was silent now, as Rei finished speaking, but something still lingered on her mind.

"Rei, I consider you as much a part of my mind as I do myself...so what will happen to Shinji after him and Asuka return."

"Meaning?"

"After I...help them I mean..."

Rei did not reply for a long while here, and seemed to be deep in thought over something which had troubled her for a long while. Eventually though, she voiced her thoughts on the matter.

"I understand what you are getting at, and that will not change, so the possibility would exist."

"I see," sighed Lilith glumly. If possible, she didn't want something like that to happen, as it could send everything into turmoil once again, but that wouldn't be her decision after all. That would be something Shinji and Asuka would have to deal with when the time came, if it ever did of course.

* * *

Shinji had never given much thought as to how many people lived on the earth, but having several billions people talking to you all at once put it into perspective. It was like having a constant ache in your ear, unable to get ride of it. Everybody recognize Shinji for who he was, an entity that was unique for everyone else, somebody that could help him. Some even ridiculed him, yelling at him, screaming for him to help them. But Shinji couldn't do anything for them. Visions and such flashed by him, but everything was so blurred and meshed together that he couldn't tell any one person apart from anyone else.

He continued moving forward through the sea of LCL fluid, floating helplessly as he let it carry him forward. He kept thinking of Asuka, hoping that his thoughts would carry him to wherever she was, but he his mind kept on being assaulted by everyone else's thoughts. He saw mothers, fathers, children, grandfathers and grandmothers. He saw people of all kinds of nationalities, religions, and races. Personalities meshed together like a melting pot, making Shinji's head feeling like splitting. But he had to move forward, because Asuka was somewhere within here.

What would he say when he saw her? "I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you sooner? Sorry that I caused all this? Sorry that I caused all your pain and suffering?" That wouldn't cut it. Shinji wanted to say these things though, even if Asuka still hated him. He wanted to be truthful and heartfelt for once, instead of always running away from everything. He had been running away from everything all his life, never truly standing and facing it. But now, he just wanted to be with Asuka, even if she rejected him, even if she loathed him. He just wanted to say those three simple words to her.

This thought is what kept Shinji sane as he continued through the sea of LCL fluid.

* * *

'Who am I?'

'You are you and no one else.'

'What makes up the fact that I am me?'

'What do you mean?'

'How do I know that I am me and not someone else?'

'Why do you think you are someone else?'

'I don't think that but...things don't feel right...'

'What doesn't feel right?'

'I don't feel right.'

'Does it hurt?'

'It does...it hurts a lot. This pain...I-I've felt it before, and...I don't like it.'

'So you think something is...missing?'

'I do...but I don't know what...'

'What exactly hurts?'

'...My heart...a constant pain in my heart, like a fist is clenching ahold of it.'

'Maybe you lost something?'

'I...lost something? But what?'

'That is for you to figure out, not me.'

Asuka opened her eyes into whiteness.

She was floating...no laying within a vast empty space of whiteness that seemed to stretch onward forever. She sat up, and looked around, searching for any distinguishing figure, but everything was still white.

"Where am I?" she wondered.

Her voice, instead of echoing, seemed to be swallowed by the whiteness.

Standing up, she firstly noticed that she was naked, but this didn't seem to bother her for some reason. She ran her hands along her body, remembering the feel of it. Things were starting to come back to her. She placed a hand between her breasts, shuddering as she recalled the feel of the Lance of Longinus as it impaled her. She then ran her hand behind her head, running it through her hair. She also remembered the instantaneous death that had killed her. The pain, the horror, the feel of slipping away, and-

"Shinji," whispered Asuka.

As she spoke his name, her heart seared with pain, bringing her to her knees. Her eyes opened wide as she remembered that last feel of his touch before she had been killed. The warmth that had passed between them, it felt so familiar.

Once again, Asuka's heart seared at this thought.

'What is wrong with me?' wondered Asuka.

Asuka stood up again, and started walking aimlessly in one direction, still looking for any noticeable landmark, but she seemed to be the only person within this space.

'Lonely again...huh?' thought Asuka sadly as she paused and looked around her. But hadn't that been how everything always was? She had never had friends in high school or college, and her father had always abused her. She had only ever had her Eva, but now that was even gone. And now with Shinji gone she was-

Asuka's heart ached with pain, but this time, her head felt like it had been cloven asunder as it brought her to the ground. She sank down, clutch both her hand and where her heart was. Everything about Shinji was-

'If it hurts, then just don't think about it.'

'But I can't stop thinking about him,' replied Asuka as she felt pain hit her. 'After all, Shinji is someone that I-'

Asuka opened her eyes and looked around wildly. For a split second, she had thought she saw...no, she did see something. A bubble, completely round was floating effortlessly in the vast whiteness. Asuka stared at it for a long, while not believing what she was seeing. But as Asuka continued watching, several bubbles continued appearing, one right after the other in front of her until the entire place was filled with these strange bubbles.

Asuka stood up slowly, staring at the bubbles around her. As one neared her, she moved away from it, though as it passed her, she noticed something inside of it. Looking closer, she saw images flashing inside it.

'Thats...me? And Misato? And...Shin...ji?"

Asuka gazed at the bubble, inside which showed herself, Misato, and Shinji, all gathered around the kitchen table of Misato apartment and eating breakfast. Both Shinji and Asuka were in there school uniforms, and Misato seemed to be about ready to leave for Nerv. Asuka watched as she yelled something at Shinji, who promptly stood up and grabbed something from the fridge. The her inside the bubble then said something else, making Shinji retort back as well. Very quickly, the two started arguing with each other across the kitchen table, while Misato seemed to be completely oblivious to this, making it apparent that it happened all to frequently.

"Is this...my memory?" mumbled Asuka as she reached towards the bubble. As her fingers touched it, it immediately popped, clear fluid like tear drops falling from it.

Asuka felt something then, almost like a jolt of some sorts, like something had just struck her. A shiver ran down her back, and she had to wrap her arms around her body to prevent herself from shivering.

But she remembered now...that day. So Shinji had lived with her at Misato's apartment.

"Then all of these...all of these are my memories?"

Asuka looked at all of them, and saw that all of them had one thing in common: they all had Shinji in them.

"These are...the memories I lost?"

Asuka watched as her memories floated by her, each with Shinji in them. She saw her and Shinji at school, in the apartment, and even fighting angels.

Asuka then noticed a particular memory, showing her and Shinji sitting side by side and listening to something that looked like a tape recorder. She reached her hands towards this one, and touched it briefly with her index finger. It immediately popped, and she was assaulted again by a strange jolt, but the memories that flowed from this were startling, and Asuka surprisingly found herself laughing.

She was remembering when her and Shinji had to be completely synchronized with each other to defeat the fifth angel. The torment of having to do everything together, that damn machine, the stupid clothes they had to wear for the entire thing...and of course, sleeping in the same room. But it made Asuka smile slightly, as she knew that things were much easier then than now.

But-

"What is this?" mumbled Asuka in shock.

She had just remembered when her father had come looking for her.

This time, Asuka's heart hurt in a different way, bringing up memories she had long sealed within herself. She felt nauseous, sick with pain as she saw herself stand there in shock, saw as Shinji stood there defending her, pure hatred etched into his face. Another memory, another memory must have existed before this.

Fighting off the sense of worry that plagued her now, Asuka searched for a memory which could tie the two together. She found one that caught her attention almost instantly. In the memory, she saw herself pressing her face against Shinji's shoulder, tears running down her face. Shinji had his hands wrapped around her waist as he comforted her. Whatever it was...Asuka was nervous about the memory, but her desire to know what happened won her over.

She touched it, and felt a fresh flood of memories hit her.

Herself and Shinji were talking about themselves openly, seemingly for the first time. Asuka told Shinji all about growing up with her father, and the torment that she had undergone until she left for college. Asuka felt the weakness hit her as she remembered how she had felt when she had broken down and cried into Shinji's shoulder. Her knees wobbled slightly, and she had to prevent herself from falling.

"So...Shinji already knew about my father before they met," gasped Asuka as she pressed a hand against her chest.

But what happened then? Asuka thought back to when her father had answered the door. She had been scared, because her father wanted to talk to her, but Shinji wasn't going to allow it. But then what? Everything else afterwards was one giant blank. And how was this possible? She didn't remember ever meeting her father, nor had Misato or anyone else even bothered to mention that he had showed up.

Something must have happened...

Asuka turned back to her memories, searching for something she didn't want to find, but she had to know. She had to know what had happened with her and Shinji.

She looked around again, looking for anything that might speak to her. What would it be though? Asuka saw many memories, most seemingly just day to day things involving Shinji. Some intrigued her though, but it didn't seem to be one she was looking for, but she marked it all the same, wanting to come back to it later.

One jumped out at her though. She saw herself walking up the steps of Misato's apartment, rain lashing against her shoulders. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt with jeans cut off at the knees and a pair of sandals, something that suitable for the rain. Asuka watched as she walked to Misato's door and knocked on it. Several seconds later, the door was flung open, and Shinji stood there.

Asuka didn't have to look any further to know this was the memory she was looking for.

She reached out with timid fingers, and touched it.

She was immediately hit by a sense of cold, as though she herself had just been splashed with ice cold water. The rest of the memory came to her. She remembered how Shinji had held her as she broke down completely, repeatedly saying his name more desperately than before. The next part made her blush a little though. She saw as Shinji fought her out of her soggy wet clothes, but let out a sigh as she remembered taking things into her own hands. If Shinji had continued, Asuka would have died of embarrassment.

Afterwards, the explanation came, which Asuka admittedly didn't care about. Everything was fitting together so perfectly, but it still felt like she was remembering it all from a third perspective. It was hard to believe that this all had transpired.

But what happened next.

Everything was a blur suddenly.

Asuka saw as her father returned with Misato in tow. How he had said he wanted to talk to her, how she had stood up for herself. And then-

Asuka heard those words that her father had spoken, and before anything else, she saw Shinji crashing his fist against her fathers jaw. Asuka remembered hearing the sound of the bone snapping, the impact as Shinji's fist collided against the side of her fathers temple. The bright red color as blood spewed forth from his mouth. Asuka felt herself almost unable to deal with it, but a part of her also remembered the feeling from that time.

It was one of relief, and she hated herself for feeling that now. She knew everything that her father had done to her, but he was still her father.

'Is it right to feel like this?' she wondered as she saw Misato attempt to reprimand Shinji, only to have him brush it off.

Surely it was understandable? But she couldn't help wonder where her father was at that moment.

Afterwards, Asuka remembered herself going into Shinji's room to seek comfort, though it had been awkward, and she remembered not being able to say what was truly on her mind then. She was saddened by this, sad that so many opportunities had come, but she had let them slip through her grasp.

She now took a deep breath, and opened and closed her eyes. As much as her memories intrigued her, they took a lot out of her. Remembering what she felt at the time was particularly exhausting.

Looking at her memories though, she noticed the ones from earlier that she had marked. Flashes of her and Shinji doing things filled the memory, and Asuka walked over to it, staring at it. She watched as her and Shinji went to an italian restaurant, ate ice cream, and walked around an exhibit of pre-Second Impact oceanic animals.

'Is this...a date?' wondered Asuka as she continued looking at the memory. She slowly stretched her hand out to it, and grasped it.

Her mind was instantly filled with memories from that day. She saw as her and Shinji walked around the ocean exhibit, albeit not talking to each other for a while, though after a time, they seemed to make up. Then they entered a gift shop, and Asuka seem to realize something then, seconds before it happened. She was waiting outside when Shinji came out, and Asuka watched as he gave her the dolphin earrings that she treasured. Asuka felt tears well up at the corner of her eyes as she felt herself overcome with happiness, remembering the feelings that coursed through her at that moment in time. She watched as her and Shinji embraced each other; watched as she pressed her face against his shirt, and Shinji buried his face in her fiery hair.

And then Misato, Ritsuko, and Kaji showed up. Even now, Asuka knew that she shouldn't have done that. She had been embarrassed when they had seen herself and Shinji, and had immediately turned defensive.

She watched as they slowly made there way towards the beach, and the eventual water fight that ensued between them. Asuka remembered as they lay beside each other, talking aimlessly about meeting each other. Feelings were shared during that moment, even if they weren't spoken aloud. Afterwards though, when Asuka remembered what she had done, she blushed crimson. She remembered the feel as her lips came into contact with Shinji's forehead, and even though it was intended to be friendly, something was concealed in it.

She stood there, surrounded by her memories and she thought about what she had seen and felt so far. What Shinji had said before...when she had been alive, about them being friends...they had certainly been more than just friends. They had loved each other, even if it had never been spoken, and even now, they seemed to still love each other. So then why had Shinji lied again even at the end of everything? Was he still trying to protect her, or was he just trying to protect himself?

Asuka shook her head as she thought back to that day and everything that had transpired. Everything that had happened was a clear example of who they were to each other. Even after she lost her memories, and Shinji denied everything that had happened, they still loved each other. So wasn't that enough? Shouldn't they just accept it? If you love someone, shouldn't you just express that love to the person you feel for?

But they were also both fifteen, and had never known love of any form, so it was all so confusing.

Asuka looked back at her memories, now looking for one in particular. She wanted to find the one that had ended everything, the last memory before she had lost them. If she could trust what Ritsuko had said before, it had been an angel that had destroyed her memories of Shinji. So if she found something that looked like that-

'Maybe this is it,' thought Asuka as she turned towards her right and saw one memory in particular. It didn't show Shinji, only herself enclosed in a white area, similar to the one she was in. She had her hands covering her head and was screaming something.

Asuka neared this one, and looked at it closer. This was likely it...but remembering something like this, was that necessarily the best thing to do? Asuka continued staring at it, trying to understand the words she was saying. Something like this maybe...

But she reached forward anyway, and touched it.

Pain exploded inside of Asuka's head. She screamed out, remembering the feel as her mind was violated, everything laid forth for the angel to see. Everything that she had ever happened during her childhood, she remembered, many things that she had done with Shinji, she saw and felt. And then-

Asuka's eyes turned white as the pain became unbearable. She felt hands touch her, running all along her body, grasping her painfully. She bit down on her tongue, preventing herself from screaming out. She saw a face, a horrible face which made her cringe, made her lose herself completely.

And then it stopped.

Asuka fell to the ground, her body covered in sweat as she shivered uncontrollably. Everything...she had relived everything in a seconds notice, even things she didn't fully understand. She felt strange, disgusted, weak, violated. Her head hurt, her body hurt, her heart heart. Things were foggy, her recovered memories of Shinji blurred around the edges.

'No...I don't want this...this pain,' thought Asuka.

'This is the price that comes with remembering everything again. You remember the good, and the bad.'

'No...no...' wined Asuka.

From in front of her, came a memory unlike the others, a memory with no images, only black. Asuka saw this memory, and immediately knew that this was a bad memory, something that she never wanted to see. She stood up slowly, bracing herself as she did so. No matter what, she didn't want to know what-

The memory suddenly surged forward, enclosing Asuka's entire body in darkness. She was immediately thrown back to that time, that point in when she had been at her weakness. She saw the face, felt the breath of him, the feel as he touched her body. She wanted to scream out for help, but nobody was nearby, nobody to help her. He hit her repeatedly, tore at her body, mocked her. She wasn't going to make it...he was getting closer. The pain hit her; her heart cried out for help, her mind was growing hazy.

Bright light suddenly broke through the darkness, and Asuka saw Shinji standing there, an odd glow seeming to radiate off of him. His eyes glowed bright red as he marched towards the rapist. It happened in an orange flash of light. The body was torn asunder. Bone was crushed, limbs were shredded, fluid sprayed across the ground, and the head was turned into a ground meat.

Asuka shivered uncontrollably, her mind still hazy. This was...this was...

Something which should have stayed buried.

The attempted rape, Shinji's ascension, the two things wove a web within Asuka's mind, preventing her to think of anything else. She could remember the feel of the hands, smell the blood, hear the crushing of the skull.

She felt like puking.

How could she have forgotten something like this? But it was best that she had forgotten it...and now that she had.

The feel...the feel of helplessness...even now it still.

"Shinji," mumbled Asuka as she sat there, staring at the white ground.

It was overpowering her, that feel. Unable to do anything, never able to do a thing. Her father, the angel, the rapist. It all felt too real. She didn't know how to-

Asuka suddenly felt her eyes lose focus. No! Not now! If you pass out now-

Asuka forced herself to fight the pain. She could beat it, she had before.

But that was because Shinji was with her, and now without him-

Asuka tilted to her right, and fell to the ground, tears streaming from her eyes. Even if she could remember Shinji, having him by her side wasn't the same. If only she could feel him, know that he was still somewhere out there. But she didn't even know where was.

Everything was too overpowering. Her memories held cherished thoughts, but they also held bitter ones, sad ones, ones that were too painful to think about. She wanted everything to just slip away. If this was how things would be, then she would rather not have remembered any of this.

'It hurts,' mumbled Asuka. 'It hurts a lot.'

And without anybody there to comfort her, Asuka slowly started to slip away...

* * *

Shinji was starting to get desperate. He had no idea how long it had been since he had entered the black sphere, but he still hadn't managed to find Asuka. What was he doing wrong? Why wasn't he able to find her. Was it impossible as Lilith had hinted at? But he was trying with everything he had damn it! If he wasn't able to find Asuka...

'No, don't think like that,' Shinji told himself. 'Everything will be fine!'

But there was a small voice in the back of his mind that asked, 'What if?'

Shinji didn't want to answer what if.

The LCL fluid still seemed to have a mind of its own, and just carried him wherever it pleased. Even though Shinji had his mind on Asuka, it still didn't seem to be enough.

So then what did he have to do?

Shinji had managed to tune most of the voices out by then, so that wasn't the problem here. It was like the LCL fluid didn't want him to go to where Asuka was.

'Fuck that,' thought Shinji bitterly as he paused in the midst of the LCL fluid. He looked all around him, looking for anything that might help him. Asuka was somewhere within here right now, and Shinji new that she needed him. Some of her memories were best left untouched if at all possible, if she did remember them...

'Damn it,' thought Shinji.

Now stationary, Shinji put all his thoughts into Asuka, and projected his AT-field outward, searching for her. The AT-field was an embodiment of who he is as a person, and with his feelings of Asuka projected into it, he should hopefully be able to find her.

But after many times of searching, Shinji didn't seem to be able to find Asuka. It was almost like she wasn't even there.

'Is that possible though?' wondered Shinji. 'Could she be somewhere else?'

But if she wasn't here, then where would she be?

'No, she had to be here, Lilith was sure of that much. But the problem is where. She likely sectioned herself off from everyone else, because of her grasp on herself, so that would mean-'

"Is there another part of this place?" mumbled Shinji. He didn't really see how there could be, unless Asuka had somehow created it herself.

Shinji looked around him, but only saw LCL fluid that went on forever. But even so, the voices had diminished so that he didn't hear them as clearly anymore. It was like he had reached a different part of the sphere almost.

'More than anything else, I want to find Asuka right. To find her...and tell her anything. If those feelings aren't strong enough...'

Once again, Shinji projected his AT-field outward, this time in a different direction.

'Asuka...Asuka...where are you right now? Are you lonely? What are you doing right now? What are you thinking? I want to see you...'

Shinji felt something strike his heart then, heard something almost echo inside of him. What was it? Something that was conjured up, something from a long time ago. A memory? Yes, a memory! A certain feel? A certain warmth? Between two people? The feel of embracing, the feel of kissing, the feel of love?

Shinji's eyes darted towards a certain spot within the LCL fluid. Maybe it was simply the angel half of him speaking up, or it was something more human reacting to it, but this spot felt...unnatural almost.

Shinji paused in front of it, and ran a hand over the air. Nothing happened, but Shinji felt as though his hand had passed through something. Moving forward, and walked through what could only be described as a curtain of water. LCL fluid filled this entire space also, but in the center of it, floating unsupportably was-

"Asuka!"

Shinji moved forward, guided by his thoughts until he reached Asuka. He stretched out his hand, and caressed her face gently. She was unusually cold.

"...Asuka," repeated Shinji. It felt like an eternity since he had seen her. But something was wrong. Her eyes were closed, and she wasn't moving.

Without a second thought, Shinji projected his AT-field over her, and immediately noticed a change within her. Some of her memories had returned, some of which he had wished hadn't. He winced horribly and felt a low throb in his heart as he remembered his anger and rage over a certain event.

But if she had remembered memories like that...

'You may not like the outcome.'

Lilith's words echoed inside his head.

If he didn't like the outcome, then he would just change it. Wasn't that what he had been doing for the longest time now after all?

Shinji closed his eyes, and blended his AT-field with Asuka's. If any two people had tried this, it likely would not have worked. But since these two individuals were able to understand and love each other, it was able to work.

Shinji slowly felt his mind start to fade as he entered into Asuka's thoughts. He only hoped that this decision was the right one.

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes, taking several seconds to adjust to the light; everything was a whiteness that went on forever. Shinji stood up and looked down at his body, noticing that he was naked, but not caring that much.

As he looked around he didn't see any defining features. He didn't even see Asuka in this emptiness. But she had to be here somewhere.

Shinji started moving forward, turning every which way as he went, searching for some sign of Asuka. Once or twice, he tried sending out his AT-field, but he supposed that was impractical right now.

'Just how big is this place exactly?' wondered Shinji.

As Shinji thought this, he saw something which made him rub his eyes, thinking he was tired. A bubble was floating along in the air, a bubble which was flashes images of himself. Shinji stared at this for a long while, watching it as it passed him. Shinji then turned towards the direction of where it had came from, and saw many other bubbles like it.

'Are these Asuka's memories?' thought Shinji.

As Shinji rushed in the direction the memories came from, he noticed all of them had something to do with him, ones that Asuka should certainly have forgotten, yet here they were. Some of them Shinji had even forgotten himself, so he was surprised to see them. He had forgotten how different things were before he had gotten his angel powers. If things could only have stayed the same...

Shinji finally reached where the memories had congregated, and ran towards them, careful to dodge them as he went, afraid of popping them. As he neared the center, he saw a shape on the floor, completely different than that of the memories. The fiery hair of Asuka stood out particularly bright in the expanse of whiteness.

"Asuka!" shouted Shinji.

Asuka gave no sign that she heard him, but her head did turn slightly to its left, looking towards him.

Shinji threw himself to the ground beside her, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her towards himself, cradling her in his arms, giving no sign that he cared that she also was naked. Even now she was unusually cold. Her skin was pale white, and her lips had a light purple tinge to them. But it was her eyes that scared Shinji. They were hazy, as though not really seeing anything.

"Asuka...c'mon Asuka...wake up..."

Shinji stared down at her face. Her eyes were fixated on him, but Shinji knew that she wasn't really seeing him.

"C'mon...this is a joke...right? Asuka!"

Shinji yelled her name again, pressing his body against hers, trying to convey the feeling of warmth. He buried his face in her hair, running his hand along her bare back, trying to bring her back.

"Something...anything...Asuka please." Shinji started crying, his tears falling upon her face.

He never even got to tell her-

...shin...

Shinji opened his tear strained eyes and looked down at her

...shin...ji...

Asuka opened and closed her mouth, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Asuka!"

"Shin...ji?

"Asuka are you-"

"Shinji...listen..." mumbled Asuka.

"Asuka don't say anything else, I-"

"I remembered everything...everything painful, everything wonderful..."

Shinji was silent as he held her, looking down at her face. She was speaking in a very low voice, her eyes still clouded over.

"And Shinji...there was a lot of pain involved, but I'm still glad that I chose to remember you..."

"Asuka..."

Asuka smiled, and cupped Shinji's face with one of her hands. "Idiot...don't cry like that."

"But...you..." started Shinji.

But Asuka placed her index finger against his lips, silencing him.

"Don't say anything, because this is difficult for me," said Asuka with a low sigh. I've just remembered countless things, many of which I'd rather not remember. So don't say anything right now...I'm still not feeling very well...but having you here is..."

Asuka turned her face, pressing it against Shinji's chest.

"...better," she mumbled quietly.

Shinji stared down at Asuka's face pressed against his chest. Her body was slightly warmer now, and her eyes seemed to be regaining their normal clear blue color.

"Hmmm...okay," said Shinji as he rested his chin upon her head.

They stayed like that for an unforetold amount of time, and Shinji had nodded off several times while watching Asuka. After a long while though, Shinji felt himself being roused awake by something soft. As he slowly opened his eyes, his vision was completely taken up by Asuka who was sitting in front of him and lightly tapping his cheek.

"Shinji? You awake?"

"...Yeah...sorry..."

"No...don't be. You came to get me. Any longer and I probably would have faded completely."

"What happened to you? What were you like that? I thought that you had-"

"I remembered...certain things. They affected me heavily, probably always will. I almost shut myself out, simply because it was easier to do that have to remember the pain. Without you there Shinji, I wasn't able to continue. Any later and I would have-"

"Don't say that, I don't want to think about that," said Shinji as he shook his head.

"Thank you," said Asuka wearily.

"Are you okay?" asked Shinji.

"Yes..and no," said Asuka. "Everything hurts, but I am at the same time happy that I could see you, which makes me have to ask, where are we exactly?"

"In the Black Egg of Lilith I suppose," said Shinji.

"So then, this is Third Impact? Are we in the middle of Instrumentality?"

"We were, but I talked to Lilith, and we reached an understanding. Its really thanks to Lilith and Rei that I was able to find you."

Asuka was silent however, her face expressionless.

"Are you angry at her, for killing you?" asked Shinji eventually.

"I am, but I can still feel the pain of dying..."

"Don't worry, it will pass," Shinji assured her.

"...I...hope so," sighed Asuka.

Shinji looked down at her face, surprised at how worn it seemed. Even though Asuka was only fifteen, she seemed to have aged exponentially during her time in here.

"How are you feeling?" Shinji asked her.

"Better I suppose, though still very tired. My mind is a whirl of things, and I'm having trouble keeping track of the different memories. Its like, a different me existed in the memories from before; I'm having trouble coming to terms with that. And yourself also...you were also very different."

"I know..." mumbled Shinji.

"Why did you do it Shinji? Why didn't you just tell me flat out that we had loved each other? Even at the end, you still lied to me about us, saying that we were only friends."

Shinji had hoped that she wouldn't bring this up, but he didn't have any way of evading the question.

"I told you before about my visions and how I was able to see possibilities of the future involved with the people around me. You were always at the forefront of my mind, and I tried denying that by rejecting what I felt. I sealed off my own emotions after you lost your memories, but that didn't work of course. I still remembered things, even if they were very vague. I knew what had happened once, and knew that it could happen again. I couldn't let anything happen to you however, and promised myself that I would do everything in my power to prevent you from entering an Evangelion again. But you proved too stubborn, and surprised me again and again."

Asuka stared back at him, her face mere inches away from his. Looking down at his chest, she rest her head against it and spoke softly.

"The feeling had always been there as you said, but it always hurt...just seeing you hurt sometimes. And those earrings...that day confuses me, but I still understand what had happened, and yet, everything was snatched away afterwards."

"It was," Shinji nodded.

Asuka was silent now, her face still pressed against Shinji's chest, not carrying that hers and his bodies were so entwined with each other.

"What...will we do now?" asked Asuka.

"Lilith promised me something," said Shinji after a few seconds. "I don't know what it is, but if it can get rid of your pain..."

"That would be nice," sighed Asuka.

Shinji smiled slightly, and wrapped his arms around her back, running his hands along it, pausing at the groves and tracing a line. Asuka shivered slightly at his touch, but let him continue on as he pleased. She didn't care that they were both naked right now, she only cared about this feeling that was running through her right now. But she was afraid that if Shinji let go, the pain of her memories would overtake her again.

"Hey Shinji..."

"Hmmm?"

"Do you still love me?"

Her question caught him off guard, and he paused with the stroking of her back. Did he still love Asuka? He always told himself that he did, but sometimes he didn't rightfully understand what love was, or if this was how it was supposed to feel.

"I do," said Shinji slowly. "Though I don't understand it myself..."

Asuka looked up at Shinji, a frown on her face.

"Do you really have to understand it?" wondered Asuka.

"Huh?"

Letting out a low sigh, Asuka's breath tickled Shinji's chest, making him squirm. Asuka smiled slightly at this and said, "Love isn't something easily understood in the first place, something which I've realized recently. But if being around somebody makes you happy, shouldn't that be enough?"

Shinji looked at Asuka's face, feelings and emotions running through him which he had forgotten. Asuka was...had always been, somebody important to him, somebody that could never be replaced. If this was love...then-

Shinji wrapped his arms around Asuka's back, and pulled her towards him, resting his forehead against hers as he did so. Asuka smiled slightly as she closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of closeness that radiated from herself and Shinji.

"Hey Shinji...would it be selfish of me to do something?" asked Asuka quietly.

Shinji opened his eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were open as well as she stared back at him; they were incredibly clear.

Shinji shook his head softly.

"Okay," mumbled Asuka as she leaned into him, pressing her breasts against his chest as she kissed him. Though momentarily caught off guard, Shinji let his own emotions take hold, and kissed Asuka back, projecting his love of her through the kiss.

They broke apart shortly, and stared back at each other. It had been painful, but they had been able to overcome that pain.

"Hey Shinji," mumbled Asuka as she cupped his face in her hands.

"Yeah..." nodded Shinji.

Asuka leaned forward, and kissed him again, her lips overlapping with his, her warmth meshing with his. Shinji placed his arms behind her bare back, running his hands along it. Asuka shivered at his touch again, but continued kissing him. She wanted this, even if they forgot it. She wanted to feel Shinji like this at least once. The future was uncertain, so she wanted to enjoy this moment without worry about what was to come.

Asuka broke the kiss off first, and looked away from Shinji. Her cheeks were slightly pink, but looking out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Shinji's as well were pink. She chuckled a little at that.

'We are only fifteen years old after all,' thought Asuka. Hopefully though, there would be many more moments like this to come.

"...Asuka...uhh..." stuttered Shinji

"Hmmm?" asked Asuka with a raised eyebrow, regaining some of her flare.

"Sorry...just surprised is all."

"I told you it was selfish," said Asuka as she stood up and threw her arms above her head, stretching her body. Now that they weren't so close, Shinji wasn't able to look at her. Partly because Asuka was still naked, but partly because he was still embarrassed over what had happened.

"Is this still inside the Black Egg though?" asked Asuka as she looked around.

"Yes...but this is inside your mind," said Shinji as she sat up, his eyes still looking at the ground.

"How are you here exactly then?"

"AT-field," said Shinji simply.

"Then how exactly are we supposed to get out?"

"That would be your doing I'm guessing," said Shinji.

Asuka looked over at him, and frowned, annoyed that he wasn't looking at her. All right, yes this was highly embarrassing, and yes they were both naked, but hadn't they both basically said they still loved each other?

"Well...I'll try," said Asuka.

Asuka closed her eyes then and searched for her body within the sea of LCL fluid. It was difficult at first, but Asuka knowing who she was, found her body relatively quickly. That and the fact it was sectioned off from everybody else.

"Did you find it?" asked Shinji. He felt the plane they were in suddenly lose some of its foundation.

"Yeah, I did," said Asuka as she walked over to him and held a hand out. Shinji wordlessly took it, still trying not to look directly at her.

"See above then," said Asuka with a small smile.

"Yeah..." mumbled Shinji.

The white walls around them shattered, and darkness engulfed the two of them. At first, Shinji was surprised by this, but saw Asuka unaffected by it, and assumed everything was okay.

Shinji opened his eyes within the sea of orange LCL fluid and looked quickly down at the girl next to him. After several seconds, Asuka opened her eyes slowly, blinking as she looked up at Shinji.

"Is this it?" asked Asuka as she sat up.

"It is..." said Shinji.

"I'm starting to wish I stayed in there."

Shinji didn't appreciate the joke. Asuka however looked down at her body, and quickly covered it; she was still naked. Darting her gaze towards Shinji, she looked at him annoyingly, since he still had clothes on.

"How come I'm naked and you're not?"

"Probably because I came from the outside," said Shinji. "And you seemed fine before."

'Because you were naked also,' thought Asuka wordlessly.

"Well...whatever. Lets get out of there. I want to see Lilith-"

Pain hit Asuka's heart as her memories caught up with her. Flashes of everything seared her mind so that she was forced to clutch her head in agony.

"Asuka!" shouted Shinji.

Rushing to her side, he gripped her shoulders and held her against his chest. She was shaking uncontrollably.

"Shinji...it hurts," Asuka groaned as tears started leaking from her eyes.

'Damn it,' thought Shinji. Asuka's mind still wasn't able to cope with the new memories. Everything contradicted everything else so that she didn't know what was right anymore. And the rape...Shinji knew this is what tormented Asuka the most. Having to remember the feeling of it must have been too terrible.

'But Lilith should be able to help,' Shinji told himself.

"C'mon on Asuka. I'll guide you out."

Asuka sniffed slightly and pressed her head against Shinji's chest, uncaring now that she was naked.

Shinji continued moving forward through the stream of LCL fluid, carrying Asuka in his arms as he went, holding onto her dearly. Asuka was silent, but she was still shaking in Shinji's arms. Shinji didn't know what he was supposed to say to her, or how to even comfort her right now. He could try to alter her memories with his AT-field he supposed, but nothing good would likely come of that.

No, it was only Lilith that he could rely on right now.

* * *

After what felt like hours, Shinji finally broke free of the Black Egg. The last stretch had surprised him however, as nobody tried to impede them. He suspected that Lilith might have had something to do with this.

His body was of course still resting inside Unit 01, providing the equation to Third Impact, so this was where he was transported to after he broke free of the Egg. He felt his mind slowly float down into his body, but only one thing was missing.

"Asuka?" asked Shinji.

She had returned there with him. But he had been sure that she had been with him when he-

"I have her here with me Shinji," came Lilith's voice from around him.

"Lilith, if you do anything to harm Asuka, I swear."

"Relax, I wont harm her in any way. I just want to talk with you for now, about what happens now. I've put her mind at rest momentarily so she doesn't have to deal with the pain however."

"Fine, I'm coming over," said Shinji.

Leaving his mind, he traveled to the Garden of Eden, and felt his feet slam down on the white soil there. He was standing in front of the Tree of Life. He stared at it for several seconds, looking at its withered state before he turned towards the two people beside it. Asuka was laying on the ground, breathing deeply as she rested. Shinji almost wished that things could stay like that forever, that Asuka wouldn't have to feel anymore pain. But such a thing was impossible.

Turning towards the person beside her, he looked at Lilith for a few seconds. She was looking down at Asuka with a curious expression on her face, something which reminded Shinji of Rei momentarily.

"You found her," said Lilith simply.

"There was never a moment when I didn't think I would," said Shinji.

Lilith turned towards him and said, "But you were also a bit late. She remember things that her already weakened mind was not able to take, and without you there, she faded away. Though she is sleeping peacefully now, if she were to wake up, that pain would still be there."

"But you said there was something you could do."

"I did, but I must first ask you Shinji about the circumstances of which you will be thrown in. I told you already that the world will be as it is for several years until the planet starts to regrow. If humans leave things untouched for a time, it will speed up the process. Not every human will return of course, some desiring the false reality, and they can become enamored in it for all I care. That is there decision. But humans will return nonetheless."

"As for you and Asuka...it seems impossible to separate you. Whether you have your memories in tact or not, you two still sot each other out. I don't believe it is a thing that can be prevented, but I can alleviate your pain to some degree, as I am partially to blame because of that pain."

"Shinji, as you know, Adam created the bodies of you humans, and I created your AT-field, everything that incorporates a person. There personality, thoughts, and memories, they all make up who a person is. The angels each had a power, and Adam and myself being the forerunners had powers of creation. I created things more abstract, while Adam created things more physical. The AT-fields are an example of this. They are impossible to see or feel by normal humans, but they exist nonetheless."

"Shinji...though you and Asuka love each other, you both unknowingly hurt each other and were hurt by the things around you, and this is no more apparent then with what Asuka is dealing with right now. If she had never met you, would she ever have experience those things? The same for you; if you had never met Asuka, would you ever have discovered your angel powers and the fact that you are Adam's son? All these things hurt you however, even if they are the truth, for the truth usually hurts."

"I'm sorry for everything that I've done, and as I said, I am partially to blame. I showed you how to control your powers, I nudged you along the way, hoping that things would fall into place as they did. But still, you rejected me, you rejected Instrumentality, you rejected the false reality, all for the girl that you love, even though you were uncertain about that love. That girl replied in turn, loving you as you loved her. But the pain of everything will still exist, even with that love there."

"I've decided that I'll help you and Asuka in this regard however, and erase all your memories of each other."

Shinji was silent, thinking that he had heard wrong. Erase there memories of each other? Something like that was...but he cherished those memories he had of Asuka. He didn't want to lose them!

"Lilith...that is-"

"Something which you can't agree with?" asked Lilith.

"Of course! I just got Asuka back, and now you say that we should just forget about each other completely? Bullshit!"

"Shinji, think about it this way. Those memories will forever be ingrained in your mind. You are strong, and that is largely thanks to your angel prowess, but Asuka is still human, and having memories from two completely separate moments in her life will torment her until she wont know which one is truly her."

"But-"

"This is all I can do Shinji. It is the only way to take care of Asuka's pain. And you yourself are in pain, even if you don't want to admit it. You locked many things away inside you, but if those were to spill forth suddenly, your rage and anger may break people dear to you. Do you want that?"

"No, but-"

Lilith shook her head and looked down at Asuka.

"I spoke to her briefly before you arrived here, and told her about my offer. She, like you was hesitant, but I think she believed as I do that even if your memories of each other no longer exist, the love for each other will still remain. Memories may disappear and fade, but the body remembers a person important to it. You and Asuka connected on a level few humans are able to, and even though you are both at such a young age, you were both able to recognize each for who they were. Many humans, and even couples are unable to do this, and don't understand what the other is really thinking. But you and Asuka aren't like that."

"So then...she agreed to it?"

"Only if you do," replied Lilith. "Ultimately, it has to be both your decisions."

Shinji's eyes moved towards Asuka momentarily gazing at her longingly.

"Lilith...if I agree to this...what about the other humans. What will happen to them?"

Lilith paused for a brief second and thought about this.

"For a time, I shall keep them within the Black Egg until I deem the time ready for the Lilim's rebirth. During that time, you and Asuka will be able to live alone, free from any turmoil. I can give you several years to grow with each other."

"And what of my angel powers? Can you do anything about those?"

Lilith's face fell slightly, as she remembered the conversation she had had with Rei.

"Unfortunately Shinji, I can't do anything about that, nor could Adam even. You born from Adam and human, and were given the powers of an angel. I don't have any say in the matter. You are you are and will forever be. Even if you memories are gone, that part of you still remains."

"...I see," said Shinji.

Lilith watched Shinji, wondering if she should voice her opinion on the subject, but her and Rei had already talked about that. It wasn't there place to interfere.

"Then you agree to this?" asked Lilith.

Shinji once again looked over Asuka; he nodded his head slowly.

"Okay," said Lilith.

Standing up, she walked over to Shinji and placed a hand of hers on his head.

"One last thing Lilith...what will you do after this? What will you and Ayanami do?"

"...I thought about your words, and have decided to search for Adam. He's out there somewhere, and seeing you and Asuka reminded me of times I'd all but forgotten. I'll hold onto the hope that we can become one again. But for the time being, I'll watch over the earth until the Lilim return. Afterwards...well, I'll worry about that when the time comes."

Lilith smiled slightly at Shinji, who couldn't help but smile back.

"Its been enjoyable seeing you grow into the person you are today," said Lilith. "I wish you and Asuka all the best."

Lilith then lightly tapped Shinji on the forehead, and whiteness immediately engulfed his mind.

* * *

At first, Shinji thought that he was inside Asuka's mind again, but as he noticed, things were slightly different. Though everything was white, there was a distinct outline of a wooden bench in the middle of the plane.

As Shinji started walking towards it, he felt a light tap on the back of his shoulder and jumped immensely. Spinning around, he saw Asuka standing there, a wide grin on her face. She was wearing her plug suit, and looking down at himself, Shinji noticed that he was wearing his as well.

"Jump easily, don't you?" laughed Asuka as she teased him.

"What was that for?"

"Just felt like it," said Asuka as she walked past him. Sitting down on the bench, she patted the spot beside her, indicating that she wanted him to sit next to her. Shinji did so, glancing sideways at her as she did so. Asuka threw her hands behind the bench and stretched her feet out.

"Ah, it feels good to be wearing a plug suit again."

"Says you," mumbled Shinji.

"You never did enjoy using the Evangelions."

"And you did?"

"Well, it was always someplace I could go...and Mama was there of course," said Asuka. "Though of course, meeting you messed that up completely."

"Do you regret that?"

"Not at all," said Asuka as she turned and looked at Shinji. "Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Shinji stared back at her, amazed that she had said such words.

"I mean, who else is always going to cook my meals," laughed Asuka.

Shinji sighed; he should have known better than to expected anything else.

But all too suddenly, Asuka's head tilted sideways onto Shinji's shoulder.

"Asuka?"

"...Will you hold me Shinji?" Asuka whispered through half closed lips.

Shinji did so, wrapping an arm around Asuka's shoulder and pulling her close to himself. He then rest his chin on the top of her head and nuzzled it against her silky hair.

"Shinji...I'm scared about the future. Did we make the right decision?"

Shinji looked down at Asuka, and saw her eyes wide with fear. He didn't want such an emotion to ever pass through her once again. So-

"The pain will be gone," said Shinji as he brushed his lips against her hair.

"But will we be...will we be able to love each other again?"

Shinji drew his head away from her. Resting his hand on her chin, he tilted her chin upwards so that she was looking at him.

"For us, such a thing is always possible."

Shinji then leaned down and kissed Asuka sweetly. Even if he forgot, it didn't matter. He wanted this to be the last thing they remembered together.

As Shinji and Asuka broke apart, a bright light from somewhere in the far distance shot outward. Shinji noticed the space they were in start to disappear, almost like when he had left Asuka's mind. But it was fading away, almost like a millions feathers floating in the wind.

Shinji wrapped his arms around Asuka then, hugging her tightly. If things were gonna disappear like this, he wanted them to be-

"Huh?"

Shinji sat alone on the bench, his arms wrapped around empty space.

'What was I?' he wondered.

Then the whiteness engulfed him as it had engulfed Asuka.

* * *

Lilith sat alone under the Tree of Life. Both Shinji and Asuka lay side by side in an almost comatose like state.

'Well, things can now progress as they wish,' thought Lilith as she let out a low sigh. Placing a hand over both Shinji's and Asuka's body, she moved them from the Garden of Eden, to the ruins of Tokyo-3 below.

'Now comes the difficult part,' sighed Lilith. Without Shinji's body, Third Impact would crumble away. Even though the Black Egg would remain in tact, she now had to focus all her power into putting humanity to sleep.

'I suppose I've got my work cut out for me,' thought Lilith. Turning back to the Tree of Life, she stared at it one final time. But she noticed something then.

"Hmph, Adam and Eve huh?"

Two sprouts had appeared on the Tree of Life's withered branches.

'Well, its in there hands now,' thought Lilith.

Afterwards, she disappeared from that place, never again to return in any shape or form.


	36. Epilogue: Once Again

_A great love, is a lot like a good memory._

_When its there, and you know its there, but its just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about._

-Burnie Burns

* * *

Red waves sloshed against the shore of Tokyo-3. The entire sky was a bright red color that reflected off the oceans surface, completely dissimilar to moon light. Destroyed buildings littered the landscape, some of which seemed to have been picked up and flung in some random direction.

Within this empty vastness of destruction, a single person lay on the sand.

Shinji Ikari, winced as bright light pierced through his eyelids, forcing them open. It took him several seconds for his vision to adjust to the light. When he did so, he saw that he was looking up at a bright red sky.

He was confused.

His limbs ached immensely, but slowly, he managed to push himself up.

He looked around at the wasteland. He had no idea where he was.

Forcing his legs to stand, he pushed himself upward, and dug his feet into the soil. He was shoeless, and was only wearing a pair of jeans and a white shirt. He walked to the shoreline, and looked out across the water. What looked like a destroyed naval fleet littered the water. Battleships were capsized with there noses stick straight up in the air. Had a battle of some sorts happened here?

Shinji looked up and down the shoreline, but didn't see any other humans. It seemed that he was all alone in the emptiness.

Bending down, he placed his hands in the water and lifted them. What he had at first thought was just red water turned out to be a different substance. It almost felt like sand, but trickled through his fingers as if it was water. And it also had a certain smell to it, almost like that of blood.

Shinji stood back up, and looked up and down the shoreline again. He couldn't see very far off in the distance, but he couldn't just accept the fact that he was the only human here. The world after all had several billions humans on it. Thinking that he was the only one here was plain stupid.

As his feet started to regain there feel, Shinji found that he was able to run quite easily, something which he was a little shocked at. He had never been very athletic, but the sea breeze the whipped against his hair felt too good.

After a time, Shinji slowly to a walked and looked out across the water. He was almost certain that some sort of war had happened, but why couldn't he remember anything?

As Shinji turned his head back to the shoreline however, he saw a shape lying down on the sand. Squinting his eyes, Shinji was able to notice the human like characteristics of the body. Breaking into a run, he skidded across the sand as he neared the body of the person. Where they alive? Would they be able to tell Shinji about what had happened.

But as Shinji neared the person, he slowed down, before stopping altogether.

"A...girl?" Shinji mumbled. It was the first time he had said anything, and he was a little surprised at the sound of his own voice. But the important thing right now was this though.

Shinji kneeled down next to the girl and looked at her. She seemed...strange. She was wearing a weird sort of fabric that almost seemed elastic. In her hair, were things that seemed liked hair clips at first, but Shinji had never seen anything like it before. Her hair itself was a fiery red color, almost exactly the same and the outfit she was wearing.

Leaning a little closer, Shinji placed his face closer to hers. He could hear her slowly breathing, so that was good; at least she was alive. But where had she come from exactly?

He wanted to wake her, but thought that such a thing might not be the best option. Sitting down beside her, Shinji placed his hands beside her, and rested there, staring at her face. She seemed to be no older than he was; around fifteen he would have to guess. He even noticed that she was rather cute.

'Who are you?' wondered Shinji.

Never once would he have guessed that beside him was the girl he had once loved.

* * *

**Well, that is now truly the end of Spawn of Adam. I'm sure some of you despise that ending, but don't worry, because the Prologue for Two of Us will be coming out tomorrow in all likelihood. This is by far the longest thing I've ever written (I think its even the longest ShinjiXAsuka fic on the site). But as I said before, I'm very happy with how this has turned out, and just want to thank all you readers again. Thank You *Bows Deeply***

**Quick clarification, yes Two of Us is the sequel to Spawn of Adam and the Prologue will be coming out tomorrow. Set in After Impact scenario and will have lemon in it. **


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